The Bookworm and the Beast
by My Hopeless Romantic
Summary: Mikan has her head up in the clouds. Natsume is far too rational. Sumire is a bit disenchanted. They're all a little flawed. It's about differentiating between fantasy and reality. In which there are beginnings, endings and not-so-unexpected romances. #8
1. Not Ready to Go

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters from Gakuen Alice belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The clichéd plot and OCs are mine.  
**Special Thanks to:** Rae for lending the great title.

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**The Bookworm and the Beast**

**Dedicated to:**_  
-.- sarahpatrick -.-_

_Under the books and the dreamy smile,  
I'm still just a girl, under a love spell for a while._

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_Are you unhappy, or are you low?_

_I should be leaving but I'm not ready to go!_

_I'm not ready to go,_

_I'm not ready to go._

Not Ready To Go** - ****The Trews**

**Chapter 1. Not Ready To Go**

There were beautiful trees and fields filled with a wonderful variety of wildflowers from where I came from. There were forests of trees that were filled with a canopy of leaves and a whole bunch of beautiful colors that flourished wherever I went.

Our home had been a nice, medium sized cottage that sat on a hill that overlooked our humble village. There were no gigantic malls, or sports cars or richly furnished schools here, but oddly enough, I was fine with that. Just the fresh, clear oxygen in the air, the faint glowing lights of the village at night and the sprinkle of stars in the dark, night sky was all I needed, all I've ever needed.

Too bad I was leaving all of that behind.

The city was very… different to my previous lifestyle. I could tell it would take me a lot of time getting used to. As we left our village behind and crept closer towards the city, I could already see the tinge of grey in the sky, the tell tale sign of pollution in the air. The burst of wind passing past my face through the open window was tainted with the city gas.

It disgusted me.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" my mom accused from the driver's seat. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end at her gaze but she already knew the answer.

I didn't understand why she thought I deserved this since I've never really been the rebellious kind of child. Needless to say, my routines at home were fairly simple. I didn't do much outside of home except for the roundtrip to and from school and the occasional trip to the local market. Usually, at home, I'd do homework, or go to that weird forest behind my house, read on the porch and daydream between everything.

It was a simple lifestyle for a simple girl.

I liked it like that.

You could say I was somewhat of a lonely girl. Then again, it wasn't as if I didn't have any school friends, because I did. They just weren't the type that stuck around for long though and if I was being totally honest, none of them really struck my fancy. I was rather… eccentric, if you will. I liked things that other people didn't really enjoy as much as I did.

Like my books.

What started out as a tiny collection of books about alien invasions and zombies and gore, morphed into a medium-sized collection of superheroes and fantasy and crime and ended in a large mixture of both with a rather large helping of romantic comedies and fairytale romances.

My parents thought it was just a phase, the whole romance thing like my vampire phase (that lasted for a good two years) but my romance 'phase' has been going strong for the better part of four years. I didn't think it was so much of a big deal. It wasn't like I swooned at every boy I came across and hoped that one day, I'd turn into that fairytale princess that escaped from the evil family and lived the life of luxury with the perfect, blonde prince.

Well… not _really._

Truth is, I like fantasizing. It wasn't a crime.

"Mikan, please," my mom begged, a tinge of guilt in her voice. Her voice had always been soft, almost melancholy. It always reminded me of the kind of voice a girl would have if she lived a tough life and managed to pull through it all. She had a voice that was patient with a hint of exasperation. It was a voice that was difficult to refuse.

"I'm not mad, mom," I offered her softly, pushing a small smile her way. She didn't see it though. She didn't see a lot of things these days. Sometimes, it was a wonder she even realized I was alive with how bad she's been taking dad's death. Izumi Sakura. That was my dad and the love of mom's life. He died just a few months ago.

Mom shifted her hands on the steering wheel, concentrating on the road. "I just want you to see what it's like here. There's this really beautiful school that I discovered when I was in town a few weeks ago and I just _knew _you'd love it," she crooned. "It's not like the thirty students in each grade kind of school back home, Mikan. It's huge, with plenty of new people, dozens of new opportunities and well, there's just a lot here for you."

She'd been squealing all morning about this new school of mine and the more she did, the less excited I became.

I kept my sullen expression directed out the window. "I'm fine. There's just this part of me that wishes it wasn't a boarding school you were taking me to and that I'd see you more than once a year."

That was right. She was driving me to a school where I would stay in a dorm with a stranger. And since I'd be sharing this dorm with the same stranger for a school year, it would probably be expected that I interact with this stranger on a regular basis. The problem that I probably haven't been making clear is the fact that interacting and Mikan Sakura just didn't click. At all. Truthfully, whenever I opened my mouth, I ended up either making a fool of myself or making everything awkward.

But there was no use in telling my mom that I thought this was a bad idea. She was stubborn, just like me and when she had her mind set on something, it was difficult to sway her decision. That and I didn't want to be difficult with her, especially since she was having a rather hard time with everything that's happened so far. Dad and all…

I turned away from the window to look at Mom. Her hands were firm on the wheel, her eyes gazing intently on the road before her. I looked like her. Or so I've heard. In my opinion, I couldn't see the resemblance at all.

She had dark brown hair, almost black, slightly wavy curls that cascaded down past her shoulders blades. Her eyes were a sparkly hazel color that was more emerald than brown and well…. She was beautiful, to put it simply.

The puny girl at her side, her daughter… wasn't. Well, it was safe to say I wasn't horrendously ugly. Then again, you could say I had a certain appeal, too. I might've been prettier than the average, since I've been told that several times in my life. In my opinion, sometimes I couldn't quite see it. Unlike my mother, I had brown, straight hair that curled at the tips. It was a shade lighter than chestnut and it fell past my shoulders down to the halfway mark of my back. My eyes were brown, nothing more and nothing less.

There were days when I'd look in the mirror and wonder who the girl in the mirror was.

"Mikan," my mom sighed dejectedly. "It'll only be for a year…"

"Yeah, I know."

She smiled my way, _taking her eyes off of the road_ and I jumped, steadying the wheel with my own hands. "Mom! How many times have I told you to keep your eyes on the road?"

She was a hazard to society, that much was for sure.

She chuckled at my expense and I sighed with relief when she complied. "You know I love you and that will never change, don't you?"

"I know," I replied evenly.

"And you know, when I finish my tour for "You Can Do Better", we can take a trip, just the two of us, okay?"

I restrained a sigh and kept my eyes on the roadside. "Sure."

My mom was a writer and you could say she was kind of famous. I don't know what happened to her when she was younger but she had this insane imagination and feminist view on things. She wrote a lot of books for adults and teens. I've read a few of them but it got a little… repetitive. Besides, I didn't like the idea of sneaky conniving guys and all that. I was the romantic, right?

My mom and I were miles apart. She wrote about woman and dating. How we ladies had to increase our standards for the men that we should date and how we could do better than the lying/cheating/using/abusive exes of our past. I found it strange that she wrote about stuff like that when she was married to my dad. But I digress, she had humor and sass to her writing. It was probably why she had so many readers around the world.

Most of her books were either romantic comedies, beauty tips, how to get the man of your dreams or something to make women feel better about themselves. I thought it was all a little pathetic but then again, that's just me. I didn't believe in the internet dating, phone dating, blind dating scene. All of it just screamed pathetic.

It can be imagined how I'd reacted when she tried setting me up with the members of the opposite sex. Nothing ever worked out to my liking. It used to entertain me, how funny it was how boys acted back then, so unlike what I've ever read. Mom used to say it was because they were nervous around me. But I'd laughed _that _one off fairly easily.

Not that I cared much about boys. It was rather sad, really. I loved reading about the stuff but the idea of having a boyfriend in real life just didn't have the same charm. Some could say I was playing hard to get. Others would laugh that it was because I probably couldn't get one. It might've been a little bit of both (yeah, mature, I know) but one past experience turned me off rather drastically.

They're hopeless!

That was with Kioshi something or other and the mistake I had of kissing him. Before I get the mocking stares, I'd like to point out the fact that I was young and naïve and _curious._ He seemed a little more confident than the other set-up dates my mom put together and well, bad jokes and little talk aside, he wasn't all that bad-

Until he'd puckered up his lips and scrunched up his cheeks to kiss me.

What a mistake that was.

It kind of disappointed me, having my first kiss with him and all. The few girl friends I'd had used to go on and on about how important the first kiss was. It was supposed to be one you didn't forget. Well, needless to say, I probably wouldn't forget how… _wet _it'd been.

I've never really understood how couples enjoyed the act of kissing after that. It was gross, wet and strangely animalistic. They must be forced to kiss. Later, I had an epiphany. Kissing was something you had to do – were forced to do. Perhaps it was in the unwritten book of 'couple-hood' that my mother had to write.

Needless to say, I never kissed ever since and the idea of having a boyfriend with anybody in town seemed like a really bad idea.

It might've been ironic, how I found the greatest comfort in books where all of the fictional characters were most attractive. Don't try to point out the patheticalness in that. I'm well aware of it.

All of the boys in reality seemed just so…pig-headed, conceited, selfish, insensitive, inconsiderate, the list could go on and on.

Don't get me wrong. I like boys as friends. But something other than that? I don't think so. At this rate, I'll never have a boyfriend, husband or children. I'd probably have to adopt, which isn't a bad thing, I always thought there were too many orphans and not enough parents.

"Remember, Mikan. I'm just going to go into your room for a bit to see what it's like. I'd hate to have you boarding in a cramped up spot for a year. Also," she was digging into her purse with one hand, "I have a card for you to buy whatever you need to make your room more livable. I'd hate to see you sitting on your bed, lonely when at least you can be lonely _and_ comfortable at the same time."

That thought kind of made me smile. "You know all I need is food, right? I'm not going to take advantage of my own mom just because she's going on tour."

She shot me a pointed look, _taking her eyes off the road _again.

"Mom," I warned in a growl.

Ignoring me, she growled, "Buy an alarm clock. If you're late to class everyday because you can't wake up on time, I'll actually consider killing you."

"Thanks, Mom."

She placed a warm hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. "You're my only daughter - _child _- and I want to do everything I can for you. I'm not going to have another child after your dad died away, so just… let me do this, okay?"

Resignedly, I turned around to face the slim piece of plastic in her hands. With a prod from her, I took it.

"There's enough to last you through the year and–" she paused and I could feel her looking at me from the corner of her eyes, "Well, it can last you the year and then some."

I fought a groan and I figured protesting would get me nowhere. "Thanks, Mom."

We sat in an awkward silence for a while, looking out at the city flashing past our car windows until we stopped at a pair of large iron gates that were open and inviting.

I gulped at the view. "Mom, you weren't kidding! This place is gigantic!"

I was horrified to hear the twinge of anxiety in my voice. It was horrible! This place was so big, I would get lost the second I stepped foot in the school. Everything was ten times bigger than my small town school and I hated it. This was just one more thing to hate about the city; they made small towns look puny.

"Amazing, isn't it?" she chirped, driving past the gates and up to a large brick building with a sign that read Alice B.

"I think this is your dorm building. Let me check," she muttered. She rummaged in her huge purse, another strange fetish of hers, and dug up a crumpled up, large and yellow envelope that I recognized to contain all of my school information.

"Yup, it's this one, let's go," my mom called, excited. She was practically bouncing in her seat. "I made sure they brought all of your stuff late yesterday night so you could settle in today!"

I yanked open the car door and stepped out into the afternoon sun, the light bouncing off of the windows of my dorm building flashed before my eyes. "I know, Mom, you told me this morning and twice in the car," I reminded her.

She smiled sheepishly in return.

I started walking with my mother at my side towards the dorm building and I couldn't help but notice that boys and girls alike turned to admire my mother. She was beautiful… and I could hear the whispers around us like bees buzzing around my head.

"_Hey, there's a new girl in town and I can't wait to get to know her..."_

"_Oh God. Look how much make-up she has on… how else do you get that perfect tint of pale but not pale…?"_

"_Beautiful…"_

It would be a lie to say that I wasn't bothered by this. I mean, this was my _mother_ they were talking about! The two earlier comments made me shudder, but the last one was dead on. She was beautiful. No doubt about it.

My mother was a person that made you feel insignificant walking beside her. She had a graceful stride that made her look like she floated and this almost… haunting expression on her face. At times like these, I felt so small compared to her.

My mom looked my way, throwing me a reassuring smile before squeezing my hand. "Aren't you excited?" she whispered conspiratorially, like what she was saying was a secret to my ears and only my ears. I wanted to tell her I wasn't four anymore but this was the happiest I've ever seen her for a long time.

I smiled back, catching her ecstatic mood. "Yeah," I whispered back, another smile gracing my lips, "I think I am."

We stopped at the check-in counter somewhere near my dorm and my mom checked me in while I waited at the side, looking over the huge campus. I was appalled at the vastness of everything. In the distance, I could hear laughter and there were already groups of friends, talking and hanging out nearby.

The start of the semester would be next week and I felt so small and lonely in this vast campus. Everyone had friends of their own … why would they want to make room for someone like me? Plus, I've heard things about these kinds of city schools. There were rabid people here. I could only shudder at the thought of starting classes next week. Maybe if I sat at the back of the class near the window, I'd attract less attention.

I smiled at the thought.

A few boys stopped curiously before me and I could only flush with embarrassment and slink to a different corner. What did they want from me? Was I smiling at nothing again?

I put a hand to my cheek and was horrified to feel the definite heat on my cheeks. _God, that's kind of embarrassing._

"Mikan, let's go. I have your key card," my mother called and before I could scan the interested faces that were looking for the famous author's daughter, I rushed in a step in front of her, still hoping to stay out of the public eye.

"Slow down, honey. I have the key card, remember?"

I slowed down. "Mom, could you not speak so loud in public! I'm trying to keep a low profile, okay? And so far, the more you yell around, the more people keep looking my way!"

She smiled smugly. "Maybe, Mikan, it's because you're beautiful."

I snorted and turned to see if she was serious. "Mom, that's the last thing I am."

"Are you saying that your father and I didn't produce a beautiful child?" she asked, her voice hard with sadness when my dad was brought into the situation.

I sighed softly, walking in step behind her. "That's not what I mean."

She shot me a wary look and stopped in front of a closed door, directly at the end of the hall. "Okay, number 584. This is it, Mikan. Now close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to."

My mom probably had the camera in her hands. She loved to document every moment of my life. A major milestone. Like my first step, when I graduated from potty-training and my first missing tooth… and now this.

I heard the click of the camera's shutters and the swish of the key card in its assigned slot and finally, the slow turn of the knob before she whispered, "Alright… open!"

I did and chocked back a scream.

In front of me stood a girl with sparkling green eyes, green permed hair and a frown on her lips. Her arms were folded and her right hip jutted out in an odd angle. Under her eyes were dark black circles and her left foot was tapping, annoyingly on the floor. But even then, she was very pretty…

"Hi there, I'm M-Mikan Sakura," I stammered, my eyes shot to the floor with embarrassment as my mother continued to snicker and take pictures of me.

The smooth voice that replied had a hint of annoyance as she said, "Sumire Shouda. And I can't say that I'm happy to meet you."

Oh, joy.

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**I have a really hard time backing down on a challenge. :)** Just a heads up, this is set in Japan but it goes through an American school schedule starting in September and ending late June, thanks.


	2. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable characters from Gakuen Alice belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The rest of this craziness is mine, including OCs. :)

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_Darling, you gotta let me know_

_Should I stay or should I go?_

_If you say that you are mine_

_I'll be there till the end of time._

_So you gotta let me know_

_Should I stay or should I go?_

Should I Stay or Should I Go - **The Clash**

**Chapter Two: Should I Stay Or Should I Go**

Sumire Shouda had an intimidating aura. That was the first thing I noticed when I looked at her. She had her arms crossed tightly over her chest and she wore a dark scowl on her face. It was almost enough for me to run and cower in a corner. If there was one thing I absolutely loathed, it was confrontation, and with my roommate radiating hostility in waves, I couldn't work up the courage to do or say a thing.

Instead, I stood in the hallway with the door partially open looking wide-eyed and stupid at the girl before me. Even my mother seemed to notice the lack of warmth in the room and stopped taking pictures. Thank God.

Shouda huffed angrily, her green eyes flashing. When she spoke, her voice was tense and hard. "Well? Aren't you going to come in? You look like a moron standing there." She turned on her heel abruptly and took three steps into the room before adding haughtily, "Close your mouth. My mother would hate you if she saw you now."

Turning on her heel, she swept into the room. The lights turned on with her first move and I couldn't help but think she was so domineering; she didn't even have to turn on the damn lights. They did it on their own, like they were afraid what would happen if she was unhappy. Well, I was going to figure that out soon. Hesitantly, I walked in, looking at the big cardboard boxes that littered the ground, along with a few suitcases.

My mother whistled appreciatively. "Very good," she had a smile in her voice as she swept into the room. "Boarding school was never this good in my day."

"That's not saying much. You're a dinosaur," I muttered quietly, frowning at the back of her head.

She rolled her eyes at me good-naturedly and peered over the boxes. A small, wan smile appeared on her lips. "These are all yours, darling. I knew delivering them yesterday would make it easier for you!"

Shouda picked then to turn around with a huff and hiss, "Yeah, it just so happens they started their delivery at two in the morning and didn't finish until five o'clock." She glared at me and sniffed, "Needless to say, you aren't very popular with the girls in the building. Everyone was awake and _pissed_ when their beauty sleep was disrupted."

I swallowed quietly when an image of a ton of girls looking _just _like my roommate appeared right before my eyes. If everyone in my dorm hated me _now_, before I had even stepped on campus grounds, I could only anticipate the welcome that they'd give me once school actually started.

I hated the city already.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" My mom looked embarrassed, "That would make it my fault. I thought that, what with Mikan being afraid to come, it'd be easier to ease her into things by having her bags here to sort through. I'm terribly sorry," her voice was lightly sugar coated and her eyes wide with an artful innocence. "I never even began to think about the disturbance it must have caused you." She walked right up to my roommate and began brushing her bed hair away from her face.

I groaned, mortified, as my mother opened her arms wide and practically melted my roommate with her charm and charisma. I didn't even have to look at her to know she was a goner. My mother had a gift. She had a way of _making_ you like her. She was someone that was hard to hate and harder to ignore. With just one hug, my mother had melted my room mate's hostility.

How did I know?

A few seconds before, Shouda had looked ready to eat a pack of wolves, but now, she looked like a tamed koala. Even her eyes looked sheepish!

"Do you feel better now, sweetheart?"

With a relaxing sigh, Shouda nodded with a smile. "Thank…you. I needed that." Immediately, Shouda's eyes rounded on me and she frowned as she walked around me with a critical eye to my clothes. "To put it bluntly, you have the worst fashion sense I've ever seen in my life," she turned to face me, a smirk on her face. "Maybe having you as a roommate won't be as bad as I thought it'd be. You don't seem like much competition," she finished airily, placing her hands on her hips, her eyebrow arched with a predatory grin on her face. "God knows what Imai will do when she sees you though. Her blood type is AB, after all and yesterday, she looked fit enough to kill."

I frowned in confusion. "Imai…?"

Her eyebrows rose once again, this time with intrigue. "You didn't know? The best dorm room at Alice Academy has three rooms," she answered, looking at her nails critically like she was frequently pampered. "You, me and Imai. That makes three," she explained, holding up a manicured hand with three fingers up in the air.

I wanted to say that I knew how to count but my heart was beating fast and my breathing increased. I really didn't want to meet this Imai figure. She seemed like a piece of work. "And this _Imai _person wants to _kill_ me?"

Shouda sniffed haughtily, turning her head away with her chin in the air. "Well I wouldn't say _kill_exactly but if she did kill you, her father's commander and chief of Japan's police crews. I wouldn't be surprised if he gladly looked the other way if his daughter murdered someone."

I was surprised my eyes didn't fall out with how nervous I'd gotten.

"She's just kidding, Mikan!" my mother snorted, taking my hands in hers. I looked at her with accusatory eyes, narrowed and deadly, asking her with my eyes why she didn't tell me I'd be sharing this place with _two _girls.

"What difference does it make?" her voice was innocent and dreamy. "Look, I'm sure Sumire was just kidding when she said that, right? You don't hate Mikan do you sweetie?"

I turned to Shouda, embarrassed, only to see her shrug.

I noticed she didn't answer the question.

Mom smiled faintly and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes looked out of focus as she patted my arm gently. "Look honey, the plane will be arriving shortly. Will you be okay here?"

I looked past her to my roommate whose eyebrows were furrowed as she looked our way, deep in thought. I took mother's hand and squeezed. "I'll be fine," I lowered my voice. "Just…be safe, okay? You'll write to me, won't you? And call me if you need anything?" She nodded wanly and brushed the hair out of my eyes in a gesture that was almost…_motherly. _It shouldn't have surprised me, but lately, my mother had been anything but a mother. I felt responsible for her, somehow. I felt like _I _had to take care of _her._

She was so lost without dad.

"Pick me up first thing, okay?" I said softly, kissing her on the cheek. "And if anything gets too crazy, I'm running for my life."

She surprised me when her eyes cleared and her face broke out into a small smile. She patted my cheek softly, "You're not going anywhere, my girl." She pulled me into a short, warm hug and instantly, I remembered dad and Nagoya and _us _as a happy, whole family.

"I love you," she whispered, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Take care, Mikan."

I sent her a small wave and tried to smile as I closed the door after her. My heart felt heavier and my mood immediately dampened when my roommate cleared her throat. She watched me with narrowed, flashing green eyes and I shuffled on the spot, my feet and heart were restless under her scrutiny. I clasped my hands together and sighed, finally looking up at her. "Look, I'm really sorry your sleep was disturbed last night and I know you hate me a lot right now, but can we, at least _try_to get along? I don't want to make enemies on my first day."

I almost surprised myself with my honesty and confidence, but it was short-lived as I held my breath. She continued to look at me, her expression was bland and disinterested as she fiddled with the leather bindings of the book. "I wouldn't say that I _hated_ you, really," Shouda replied airily, shuffling into the entry to another room.

"Then, can we start over as friends?" I asked meekly, eyes downcast to the floor afraid of the look of disgust that I imagined on her face.

A sigh from above made my ears prick before I hesitantly pulled my eyes to meet hers. They were the same flashing green but the hostility was quelled. "I don't let just anyone be friends with me, you know," she told me bluntly, her expression still bland. "You'll have to win me over in some way."

I scrunched my nose up, confused. "Win you…over?"

She rolled her eyes and her intense gaze rooted me to the spot. "You have to win my trust, Sakura. For now, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and I'll erase all of the murderous intent that I've felt for you up to this moment."

I swallowed at the serious expression on her face and my eyes flashed down to the floor once again when my eyes met hers for a brief moment. I cleared my throat. "I'll d-do my best," I said softly.

I heard rather than saw her walk toward me as her shoes clicked on the ground. "First rule, you can't talk like that unless you're begging somebody to take advantage of you," she advised. She circled me one more time. "Second rule, you _have_ to let me look at your wardrobe. What you're wearing is so - _odd_. My mother would disapprove instantly."

I frowned and looked at my jeans. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Everything. Trust me. Contrary to what you think, this is pretty bad," I heard her say. "Besides, this is Alice Academy Boarding School. Not just anyone gets accepted here, you know."

I sighed, already feeling the twinge of pain in my temples. I hated confrontation. Honestly. And I felt like such a pea beside this… full course meal… but if Sumire Shouda kept up her haughty attitude, I was going to _scream. _"Could you show me which room is mine?"

I heard her mutter "I'm not a slave" as she beckoned me from the large living room crowded with my belongings. She led the way down a wide hallway and I immediately spotted two doorways that revealed a moderate kitchen and dining room. It wasn't too large, seeing as we would be getting food at the large bazaar and food court inside the school grounds but it was big compared to ordinary dorm rooms that I had imagined. Across the kitchen was a bedroom with a golden name plate nailed onto the door that read, "Imai Hotaru."

A shiver passed through my entire body as I read her name. Quickly falling back in step beside Shouda, we walked past another door that led into a medium-sized bathroom. At the very end of the hall, there was a gold plate tacked onto the door with my name. By the time Sumire had thrown open the doors, I had caught up with her and admired the view.

It really was a beautiful room. Nothing extremely special but it was…I don't know, _nice _to see that I'd have a place to call my own and _not _just a conventional place I'd have to share with three people. Decorating the place might even get my mind off my parents and how my family was falling apart.

"That door over there leads to your private bathroom," she pointed. "If it means that we won't be sharing with everyone else, it'll have to do," Sumire sniffed airily. "You might want to throw your windows open. Something smells like gym socks," she commented. Then she shrugged, "Or that could just be you but frankly, I don't go up to random people and start sniffing them."

I tried to hide the amusement from my voice. "Thanks, Shouda."

Sumire grimaced audibly and turned me around roughly by the shoulders. She narrowed her eyes into a glare, "Don't call me that. It reminds me of what everybody calls my mother."

I shrugged my shoulders, surprising even myself at my nonchalance. "'Kay Permy, whatever you say."

I felt the lump in my throat as she narrowed her eyes again. But then, in a flash, she grinned at me, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're weird—and don't call me Permy."

She turned away and started back to the living room filled with the boxes of my stuff and I stayed back a bit before following. I was relieved she hadn't bitten my head off for the wayward comment about her hair. At least she was giving me a chance and really, that was more than I could ever ask for these days.

"Hurry up, Sakura!" she called from the other room. "This is a once in a lifetime offer; I'm going to help you get these damn boxes to your room so hurry up!"

I smiled.

-;-

Surprisingly enough, Sumire Shouda wasn't as bad as I thought she'd be.

She was a bit arrogant, haughty and had a big ego—to be sure—but she was also very generous and considerate. She did, however, try to hide the fact that she was helping me with an unconvincing "I'm not doing this for you, Sakura. It just so happens that I want to make fun of your horrible fashion sense by unpacking your horrible clothes."

Of course she was a fashion freak. It probably had to do with her mother being part of that industry.

We had already carried all of the boxes into my room at breakneck speed and at the moment, I was spreading a new set of bed sheets onto my bed with Sumire speaking animatedly about every article of clothing that she extracted from my suitcase. In the background, I heard the muffled sound of the front door closing.

I looked through the open doorway of my bedroom just in time to see a girl about my age. Her hair was cropped short like a boy's would but it was crazily styled and messy in the back, like she had just rolled out of bed. Her skin was a pasty alabaster, just like the color of a precious porcelain china doll and she was tall, a few inches taller than me.

Then, as if feeling my gaze on her, she turned in my direction. Deep, piercing lavender eyes stared right through me.

"You're Sakura Mikan." Her voice was silky and slightly monotone, echoing down the hall.

I nodded at her statement because it sure hadn't sounded like a question. She continued to look at me, scanning over my face. I was glad there wasn't a look of disgust there, but then again, she hadn't changed her facial expression since she had walked into the room. I got up from my bed and made my way out the door, completely ignoring Sumire's continuous rants. I stopped five feet away from her, already feeling the strong confidence that radiated off of her body.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wondered if I could ever be as confident as her. My voice was quiet, "Imai Hotaru?"

She rolled her eyes. "Isn't it obvious?"

I nodded meekly, my eyes darting away from her penetrating gaze down towards the ground. "Look, I'm really sorry about the movers at two o'clock in the morning."

She shrugged and walked into her room, leaving me standing in the hallway, confused. Wasn't this the girl that Shouda had said wanted to kill me earlier? I moved my weight to the heels of my feet and made to move back to my room but was stopped when Imai's voice called my name. I walked to the doorway uncertainly. "Yes?"

She looked at me from the seat at her desk and raised her eyebrows. "You say you're sorry. Now show me." With bland eyes, she tore a piece of paper from her desk and offered it. "That's enough to cover my fatigue and drowsiness."

Stunned, I looked down at the thin piece of paper in my hands. The amount of zeroes astounded me. "What is this?" I stared at her in disbelief. "It wasn't even my fault and… you don't even _look _tired!"

The corners of her mouth twitched and I heard the creak of the door that alerted me of Sumire's eavesdropping presence. I ignored everything except the look of aloofness on Imai's face.

"I thought you'd be more pliant than that," Imai's eyes were unmoving. "Considering everything about you." I frowned at her, not understanding her in the least. Instead, she stood up and cleared up the pad of paper on her desk. "You're free to leave. You're rather annoying."

I gaped at her, unable to believe my luck. This girl might not want to kill me but she hated me, that much was for sure! "And you're a sadist," I snarled back, slamming a hand over my mouth a little too late.

From behind me, I could hear Sumire snickering as she watched our exchange of words but I was too mortified to give her any notice. Instead, I watched Imai Hotaru arch an inquisitive eyebrow at me, her thin lips pursed into a line. When she spoke, her voice was even, "I don't care what you think about me."

"Well, I could say the same to you."

"Yes, but you don't really mean that," she replied quietly. I snapped my gaze in her direction, confused and uncertain. What did she mean by that? For the first time, my eyes didn't waver when I looked into this stranger's eyes. I suppose it was because I wanted to see how she could look at me for the first time and already see my insecurities.

She answered my unspoken question for me. She lowered her voice so that Sumire couldn't hear and bent her head towards my ear. "Because girls like you and me are different. We're special. We're meant for something more, something bigger," she replied slowly. "Do your best here, Sakura-_san_."

A small smile darted across her lips as she pulled away and just as quickly, it slipped off into a thin line, once again. She picked up her purse and raised an eyebrow. "Alice Academy's campus is vast. Shouda and I will show you around," she said plainly, heading for the door. She turned around to look at me silently before smiling a small smile.

Before I could do much of anything, Sumire flew past the door, shrieking, "I can't go outside looking like this!"

I told her she looked fine but the muffled voice from within snorted before saying, "School starts in a week and we can't afford to make a bad impression when we go out! Not that you have anything to worry about."

I rolled my eyes, grabbing my wallet from my purse and stuffing it into the middle pocket of my hoodie. Glancing at the stoic girl at the door, I chanced a small smile her way and was surprised to receive one in return.

Maybe it was safe to say she didn't want to murder me, after all.

When Sumire had finally come out of her room, she was wearing a nice flowing white skirt with a spring green tank top under a brown summer jacket. The area around her eyes no longer dark with exhaustion and her hair was pulled onto one shoulder, a purse thrown over the other.

"Well, let's go!" she called, the first one out the door. I snickered along with Imai and followed her out.

-;-

It was just about four o'clock in the afternoon when we walked out of our dorm building. The other girls in our dorm looked at me with glares on their faces and I sincerely hoped that it wasn't because of the racket that the movers had made.

Usually I felt small and invisible when I was out and about at school and usually I was _fine _with that. But I found that with Imai and Shouda by my side, I could feel a little more confident, instead of the painful shyness that I was used to. With them, I felt like I could do anything.

Biting my lip, I looked at the two girls flanking me. "Oh, I was wondering if you guys could just go ahead and call me Mikan… Sakura just doesn't feel right and with us being roommates, I figure it'd be easier than the constant—"

From beside me, they both shrugged. "Sure. Sumire's fine too."

"Hotaru," Hotaru offered casually.

I smiled, testing the names on my lips, loving the way it rolled off my tongue. "You have a beautiful name, Hotaru," I offered, glancing at her from the corner of my eye.

Sumire growled from beside me. "Oh what? So my name's ugly now?"

"Not really. I like Permy better… it suits you," I commented truthfully. From beside me, Hotaru snickered and I failed to keep the smile off my face as I laughed right along with her.

Sumire didn't think it was all that funny.

"I've been here longer than the both of you have," she said, changing the subject swiftly. "I want to check out the food courts. There's supposed to be a band of irresistibly, hot male specimens that I've been dying to observe," she explained, her eyes glazing over as she sighed dramatically. She clasped her hands in front of her with a smile on her face.

They seemed so sure of themselves as they walked that I was surprised to learn they were also new to Alice Academy. "You're both new here?"

"Yeah," Sumire replied dreamily. "But gossip travels fast and there's nothing that I don't hear. It's easy enough getting the stats."

"Stats?" I frowned and looked over at Hotaru who had not changed her expression since we left our dorm room. "What do you mean by 'stats'?" I asked, turning over to look at her, stumbling over a crack in the ground.

Sumire laughed at me before turning her dark green eyes to mine. "You know," she said with a wink. "The stats of the hot guys in school," she explained with a roll of her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "If you want to be popular in schools like these, you have to get in with the _in-crowd_," she murmured under her breath when a group of giggling girls walked past us. "Even though I went to a Catholic school before I went here, I've done tons of research. I know about how these schools work and if you happen to be able to snag the hottest or most popular guy in school, you're golden."

I frowned at her explanation, already seeing these kinds of scenarios in my books. It had always eluded me as to why one would… _want _to be popular. If life was anything like it was in books, well…things could get ugly and _fast _when you tangled yourself in those kinds of affairs. I tried to put my thoughts into words. "Don't you think that's a little mean, to use somebody like that? I mean, somebody could get hurt and besides," I whispered once more as another pack of people brushed past us, "It's not a goal of mine to become the prettiest or most popular girl in school."

"Why not?" Sumire asked, horribly surprised. From beside me, I heard Hotaru agree, "Yes, why is that?"

I flushed with embarrassment. "I don't do well under peer pressure," I answered. "And besides, even if I did become most popular, which I won't," I replied hastily at Sumire's intense glare. "I've always thought… well, when you're on top, the only way you can go is down, right?"

I looked from one girl, then to the other. Hotaru's small smile flashed across her face before slipping away once again and I wondered if I had imagined it. Sumire's expression was different though. She was frowning with concentration, her eyes glazed while she was deep in thought.

"I guess," she answered uncertainly. Then she sniffed and said, "Well, when I become most popular, I'll be sure to _stay_there."

She sounded so sure.

We neared the food court as the amazing scents wafted to me. With a mix of fries, crispy chicken and a slew of other different foods, the food court was enormous. Not only were there stalls and concession stands of food, there were also lines of restaurants from classy ones further away to the fast food restaurants that were clustered together, closest to us. The square was massive and looking down the road, the never ending restaurants lined the sides of the streets.

"Just how big is this school anyway?" I asked, amazed.

"Bigger than it looks," Sumire replied airily. "I heard they built a shopping district right outside the campus for us. I suppose that means it's not technically apart of the campus… but still."

I whistled appreciatively like my mother had and walked to the closest ice cream stand, offering to get the other girls some ice cream. We walked down the streets, occasionally looking into the windows and promising to try out places that caught our attention. As we neared the benches and tables that were clustered around the middle of the food court, I marveled at the beauty of it all. There were tablecloths and napkins on each table and plastic forks and other plastic cutlery for the fast food consumers that wanted to eat outdoors.

I looked around and felt so small compared to the grandeur of this place. The eating area already was marvelous, what else did this school have that my other school hadn't?

People. This place had so many people. There were hundreds of students already in the square and the majority of them were clustered around a certain table. My curiosity peaked when I glimpsed people _pushing _to the center.

"What's going on over there?" I asked, pointing to the general area.

Hotaru merely shrugged but Sumire was already picking her way to the table. "Let's check it out!" Sumire called, running closer to the pack of teenagers and starting to push her way through. Hotaru and I fell behind, enjoying our ice cream cones, watching with amusement as Sumire tried in vain to get through the crowd. Once we had caught up, Sumire shrieked loudly, _"Get the hell out of my way!"_

Heads turned to look at her questionably and moved to accommodate her wishes. She smirked triumphantly at us before pulling my wrist as I pulled Hotaru along. The crowd parted and looked at us.

I flushed with embarrassment.

_Pretty girls like Sumire always got their way, _I thought at the back of my head as my elbow caught somebody's shoulder and I was pulled through the waiting bodies. "Why are we doing this again?" I muttered under my breath so that both Hotaru and Sumire could hear. "We don't even know what's in the middle of this crowd."

"Well, we're going to find out soon, won't we?" Sumire smirked, without turning around. "If this is what I think it is, we're golden."

"These people are disgusting," Hotaru grumbled angrily, swiping a hand that neared her ice cream cone. "This is the last time I come here with you two."

Suddenly, Sumire stopped dead in her tracks, causing me to bump into her back, the tip of my ice cream cone smearing the back of her shirt. I expected her to be mad at me; I expected her to make a scene and start flailing her arms around but she didn't do anything. Sumire didn't even seem to notice and my ears pricked upon hearing her quick intake of air as her ice cream cone fell to the ground.

"Hey!" I cried, slightly offended that she'd let it drop so carelessly. "I bought that, Sumire and now the person that cleans up this place will have more work to do because of you!" I hissed, glaring at the back of her head as I bent to my knees to pick up the fallen cone, looking around to find a garbage can. I raised an eyebrow at Hotaru and tapped Sumire on the shoulder distractedly. "Why are you so quiet, Permy?" I asked softly, looking over her face with worry. I looked back at Hotaru who had her eyes twinkling with interested delight.

"Why are you guys so quiet?" I asked, confused. "It looks like you've seen a ghost or something," I muttered, turning to the direction in which they were looking.

My eyes were on the ground, as usual, so the first thing I saw was a pair of black and white sneakers. My gaze travelled up a pair of long legs, a white button-up shirt, noticing the broad shoulders and the flutter of the shirt that caught the wind. I knew it was a boy before I even looked up to his face but when I did, I was surprised to be looking into a pair of ruby red eyes, a shade of red that I've never seen before…

My first thought was that he was a vampire and I mentally slapped myself in the face for thinking about that. I blinked twice before biting my lip, wondering just what was going on.

A smirk flitted across his lips before he turned back to reply to the boy beside him, "It's not like I bite…

… _hard."_

I flushed red and stared open mouthed with horror as the sound of screaming filled my ears. But in my surprised state, I was oblivious to the fact that the screams from the girls weren't because they were afraid—it was because they were love struck and I didn't understand _why…_

_Was I missing something…?_

_

* * *

_

_And then, Natsume appears!_


	3. Tongue Tied

**Disclaimer:** Akimoto Hitoshi is mine. All recognizable characters from Gakuen Alice belong to TH!

* * *

_I need a little more luck than a little bit,_

_Because every time I get stuck, the words won't fit._

_But every time that I try, I get tongue tied._

_I need a little good love to get me by._

Tongue Tied - **Faber Drive**

**Chapter Three. Tongue Tied**

"_Why _are there - "_**KICK**_" **- **so many _books_ here!" Sumire shrieked loudly, fighting her way through the books scattered across the floor of my room.

I turned the page of Just Listen, sighing resignedly as I looked up at my loud roommate. "Can you _not_ kick my books, please?" I asked her, watching as Hotaru picked her way gracefully across the room. Why couldn't Sumire be like Hotaru? Honestly, the girl had to make a big show out of everything…

I watched as Sumire rolled her eyes and mumbled something low under her breath. Not wanting to cause an argument, I turned my eyes back to my book and heard the annoyed huff escape from Sumire's lips before she kicked another stack of books, all the while growling under her breath. I felt the bed sink as she plopped down onto her back with a hand across her forehead, sighing dramatically. Hotaru perched carefully on the chair by my desk.

"Okay, I have a feeling you're lying on my bed and acting dramatic because you want to tell me something. So what is it?" I asked, flipping a page of the novel casually. "And your foot is on one of my favorite books."

I heard a growl before I found a hand planted right in the middle of the passage I'd been reading about Owen and Annabel finally _talking _about the elephant in the room. Even though I'd read the book about five times, it didn't excuse the fact that _Sumire was being annoying. _Figuring the sooner I heard what she had to say, the sooner she'd leave, I lifted my eyes and eyed the triumphant grin on her face. "Hello. I'm listening, you know."

I'd barely turned my eyes back onto my book before she'd grabbed it and flung it across the room to be lost in a sea of books. I snapped towards her. "What the heck was that for, Permy?" I whirled around to look at her.

"Oh, come on, Mikan," Sumire rolled her eyes, leaning her head onto the palm of her hand. "You've been reading all day. What's so riveting about how Annie goes to Frank anyway? Oh, _I know. _Why don't we all do something fun? My treat!"

I raised an eyebrow, wondering about the complete one-eighty Sumire had moved from the other day. Though we were roommates and she'd helped me unpack my things, we were far from friends… or at least, that was the impression she'd given me with her lecture. Besides, from what I could glean from her yesterday, she wanted to be one of those popular "It girls" and I really didn't want to go through the trouble being in that kind of crowd. I just didn't fit in that kind of group. I'd long since embraced that fact. Trying after almost sixteen years of life would be futile. Once a pigeon, always a pigeon.

I told her so, earning a scoff from both roommates. "Besides, since when did you want to hang out with me? I thought I was that unfashionable girl you didn't want to be seen in public with."

"Oh, you are," she smiled in a way that was half-joking and half-serious. "But I'm willing to make an exception for you. You surprise me. Besides, you went out in public with Imai and me yesterday. There are always exceptions to the Shouda rule."

I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious. "Why the sudden change of heart? What's in it for you? I find it hard to believe you suddenly want to be my best friend."

"Who said anything about being best friends?" Sumire leaned up on her elbows and raised an eyebrow. "Listen, is it so hard to believe I want to make things up to you and change your life for the better?"

"Yes," Hotaru muttered offhandedly.

Sumire shot her a glare before sitting up and folding her hands in her lap. Looking up from her eyelashes at me, she shrugged. "Ignore her. Listen… I don't really… just—I'm trying to thank you, alright? Nobody has really stood up for me like that and considering what you did, you really put your reputation on the line for me."

"What reputation," Hotaru piped in snidely.

I frowned, not quite understanding. "Thank me for what? And what are you talking about, putting my reputation on the line?"

Sumire looked like she was having a hard time answering, so I turned to Hotaru. She shrugged and brushed invisible lint from her skirt. "You called Hyuuga a jerk and proceeded to run after her after the incident yesterday," Hotaru explained tartly. "It's really not hard to explain, Permy."

"Stop calling me that," Sumire snapped reflexively, balling her hands into fists.

I looked at Sumire's stubborn form on my bed and smiled. "Honestly, you don't need to thank me for something like that. I'd do it for anyone… okay, except maybe for that kid who ended up throwing that piece of pineapple at you. That's just weird."

"It wasn't a pineapple!" she cried loudly, chucking a soft paperback book in my direction before leaning against the wall and closing her eyes. "I can't believe he did that… in front of Natsume Hyuuga and Hitoshi Akimoto too!"

I laughed and picked up a hard cover to block the flying projectile. "It _so _was a pineapple. But, oh right. What did you say it was again?" I asked, putting a finger to my lips. "Oh yeah! You said it was a flying cheese wheel, right?" She didn't look impressed or humored in the least. "Really, it wasn't that big of a deal, Permy. They're immature jerks. You should just put them out of your mind. That's what I'd do."

"You don't get it, do you? _Nobody _throws stuff at me! And those immature jerks are the hottest guys in the school! Granted, Hyuuga isn't one who's up for much in terms of relationships, but I've heard Hitoshi Akimoto likes to have a few girls around. I was hoping to be able to… I don't know, break either of them and become _the girl who fixed the angsty boys_. You know, be the girl that Hyuuga chooses as his girlfriend or the girl that stops Akimoto's playboy ways." She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "But the both of them have seen me being used as a human trash can! I've never been so mortified!"

I couldn't help but shake my head at her use of the common cliché. "Well, _girl who fixes bad boys, _I admire imagination and all, but need I remind you that you didn't necessarily have to _run away _when you got hit. I mean, you could have played it off pretty well."

"That's just the thing!" She sat up immediately, swinging her gaze from Hotaru to me. "I _never _freeze up in front of guys but I took one look at Hyuuga's red eyes and perfectly chiseled jaw and I just…" she swooned against my blanket and sighed. "My brain froze and I couldn't stop _staring _at him and the next thing I know, I get a wet slimy hit to the face by a piece of _fruit _and I just… I panicked!" She groaned and hit her head against the wall. Then, deciding it helped, she hit her head again and again and again.

"You're losing a massive number of brain cells by doing that," Hotaru supplied casually, her pale violet eyes watching Sumire in cruel fascination. "And you admit it was a pineapple…"

I snapped my gaze to Hotaru, trying in vain to keep the smile off my face and tell her _that wasn't helping matters, _but Sumire's head had already snapped up upon hearing the comment and her eyes narrowed dangerously. "_Hotaru Imai_…"

Hotaru looked at her with a bored gaze before Sumire slumped over and pulled her legs to her chest.

"Nice representation of the fetal position, Permy," I piped in dismissively, nudging the pile of books from beside my bed.

Sumire all but threw her hands up. "Why don't I have room mates that care and listen to my problems? You guys are _so _understanding! Oh! _Oh._" Before I could even register what had her exclaiming excitedly, a pillow had been thrown into my face and Sumire was pacing the length of my room, kicking periodically when books were found in her way. "I have the _best _plan ever!" she declared excitedly. "Who wants to be my best friend? Oh c'mon! Well, fine. I need one of you guys to do something embarrassing before school starts. Something _really_ embarrassing."

"Why?" I wondered aloud.

Sumire clapped her hands together as if she'd been waiting for somebody to ask for the longest time. "Well, if you guys do something utterly embarrassing, my embarrassment will be forgotten and I'll have another shot at Natsume! You know… if the school has something else to focus on, the limelight will be off of me and all's forgotten! Besides, you guys don't even have to do anything. I'll have everything planned out to perfection and it'll go off without a hitch. Promise!"

I put my hands up to stop her, shaking my head. "Oh no, no, no, no, no. I can't."

Her smile slipped off her face. "Why not?"

I blinked at her, unbelieving. "Were you _not _listening to me yesterday? If I do something embarrassing, the spotlight will be on _me_. I told you I don't do well under pressure and I _told_ you that I didn't want student attention. I just want to go to school and come back to this room without having to interact with anyone. It'd be so much easier than to be involved in all of…you know, your drama."

She scoffed lightly and looked like she wanted to say something more but Hotaru's voice cut in softly.

"Do you like being lonely?"

I turned to look at her. "Yes."

"I don't believe you," she said simply, her penetrating eyes looking right through me. I felt my certainty waver and I broke our eye connection. How did she _do_that? How could she see me so clearly and know me so indefinitely when here I was, not even knowing myself? "It's definitely easier this way," I answered instead.

"How?"

I looked up again, confused. I had never asked myself that question before. I had always known how it felt to be lonely and that was how I was comfortable. I never questioned the logic behind that need because that was how it had always been, but what now? There were these two girls that _wanted_ to hang out with me. They wanted me to listen to their problems and listen to _my_ problems. In just a few days, these strangers were making me question my life up till now and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

"Listen, does it honestly matter?" I asked, getting to my feet and starting to pick the books off the floor. "How about we get some lunch and roam around a bit? I know school will start soon and free time will be scarce so we'd better enjoy this time while we still can."

I watched as they exchanged a look before shrugging. "It's not like I have anything better to do," she murmured woefully, "I'm a social outcast. Who would have thought?"

Hotaru shook her head. "I can't," she replied simply, getting up from the chair and making her way to the door. "I'm meeting someone for lunch."

I frowned. "Who?"

She paused, then sighed. "My boyfriend."

Shocked silence ensued and from the corner of the room, Sumire bent over with laughter. "You…! Boyfriend! Ha!"

Hotaru frowned and from her pocket, she produced a gun. Pointing it at Sumire, she asked dangerously, "What's so funny about that?"

Shocked with surprise and my feet frozen to the ground, I swallowed thickly. What the heck was Hotaru doing with a gun? Her father was part of the police or department or _whatever_, Sumire said, but did that give her the right to be carrying a freakin' _gun _around? That was messed up! And she was pointing the dang thing at Permy because she was surprised Hotaru had a boyfriend! I mean… _I _was surprised too… did that mean she wanted to blow my head off too? I stepped forward quickly and put my hands up. "Calm down, Hotaru. Put the gun down and step away from the door," I choked cautiously. "We can all discuss this in a mature way, can't we?"

She turned the gun on me and I held my breath. "Shut up."

She turned it back to Sumire and to my utter surprise, _she was still laughing_. "Do you have a _death wish?_"

Before anything more could be said, I screamed when a shot went up and a dark film of smoke circulated through the air. I coughed and ran over to her side, looking at Hotaru with a mixture of shock and disbelief. "Why would you do that, Hotaru?" I whispered shakily.

She rolled her eyes and lifted the gun again. "It's not real, stupid. Haven't you seen one of these in the stores?"

"Uh… what?"

"OW, IMAI. WHAT THE HECK? That hurts _way _more than it's supposed to! Don't tell me your mom upgraded it… _again_."

Hotaru didn't answer, instead she made her way out the door and into the living room. "If you guys hurry up, we can all have lunch together," she replied instead, finding a calm that surprised me… especially after _shooting _somebody. "Someone else is paying, though."

-;-

Slightly apprehensive, I stepped into the food court with my roommates and we headed over to the tables once more. I couldn't help but play the scenes of the other day in my head over and over like it was a movie. The look of horror on Sumire's face and all the screaming around me made my head spin.

To think that all of those girls were screaming _for_ Hyuuga and not _at_him still made my stomach lurch. I mean, I know it was a stupid thought and all, but having read stupid vampire novels, it was hardly a surprise ridiculous notions would come to mind. I mean, who had red eyes other than albinos? And Hyuuga's hair was definitely not white or yellow. I looked over at Sumire and inspected her furtively. She'd been horrified that _three of the hottest guys on the list were there!_ when some kid threw pineapple in her hair after the long, bout of screams.

From what I'd gathered, the Hyuuga was having some sort of discussion with some guy - _I was too confused to even remember him_ - and he'd made the _comment_as some sort of rebuttal. They didn't seem friendly in the least.

"Where's your boy-toy, Imai?" Sumire whined, hands on her hips. "Can't you call him or something?"

Hotaru didn't answer. Instead, she looked around once more and started walking like a woman on a mission, "Follow me. I see him."

I didn't bother to look around. Instead, I just followed close behind the two of them until we stopped in front of a familiar blond boy. He looked surprised to see us. "Hey Hotaru," his voice was warm. He stood up, revealing an admirable height and gave her a soft peck on the cheek before pulling out her chair.

I almost sighed… until Hotaru replied, "Hey Nogi," and completely ruined the moment.

It was almost surprising that this prince charming, with his perfect blond hair and gentle, sea blue eyes, went around the table and proceeded to pull out our chairs as well. I smiled at him politely. "Thank you," I murmured, casting a shy smile back at him.

When we were all settled down, I turned to look at Sumire and the idiot was already drooling over him. "Hey. My name is Sumire Shouda," she winked, leaning onto her elbows and looking at him with blatant interest. "You can go ahead and call me Sumire."

He frowned slightly and looked at Hotaru but her expression didn't change. "Hi, Ruka Nogi," he replied politely, a shy smile on his face.

I had enough. Nudging her in the ribs none too gently, I hissed from the corner of my lips, "Sumire, stop that." I smiled when she grunted in pain. "Mikan Sakura," I introduced myself, shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

We started out with easy chatter and it didn't take me long to realize Ruka Nogi was a dreamboat. No, seriously. He worked at animal shelters during school breaks! He took home stray animals! He was friendly and easy going, despite Hotaru bossing him around. It was a new thing, their relationship. They'd been going out for a mere three months, though they'd known each other for a bit longer than that. It didn't take much to see that he was whipped. Poor guy.

At first I was suspicious when he pulled out my chair but with the easy conversation and the way he didn't hesitate to blush over something that Hotaru did or said, I realized he was _sincere_. And to be honest, it was hot. I sighed. Maybe storybook princes were real after all…

Sumire, on the other hand, was sulking. She barely made any conversation and only piped up one word answers during the whole meal. Right when I was about to mouth off about her being a child, I felt a shadow loom behind me, blocking the sunlight shining on the table. I didn't bother looking up at the newcomers.

"Natsume! What are you doing here?" Ruka asked, genuinely surprised. I felt Sumire stiffen from beside me.

I sat still in my chair. Craning to look up at him and his posse of friends would make my neck hurt and I definitely didn't want him to think that I was one of those fan crazed girls that were pushing and lunging to get to him the other day. Besides that, I didn't want him to see the blush on my face as I recalled him saying the whole "I don't bite hard" thing. It was just too embarrassing.

But then I wondered, why did I care about what he thought?

"Tryouts for soccer and swimming are next week," he answered instead, his voice deep and alluring, "You trying out?"

I was horrified to realize my heart was pounding in my chest, so loud and palpable that I bet everyone in a fifty mile radius could hear it. There was an earthquake in the area where my heart was supposed to be and it was just because of the sound of his _voice._

Something was terribly wrong with me.

…Admittedly, it was a very nice voice.

I didn't hear Ruka's reply to his question and I didn't really need to. I had to get out of there before I made a bigger fool of myself than I already was. My papillary muscles were working on overdrive and I needed to go somewhere to calm down my beating heart. Thoughts racing, I blurted out, "Hey, I've got some errands to run so I'll see you two back in our rooms."

Three sets of eyes looked at me curiously, probably wondering what the hell I was talking about when we hadn't even decided what to have for lunch. My eyes flitted around the table until they stopped at Hotaru's. "What kind of errands?" Hotaru's voice was suspicious.

I shrugged, my feet practically bouncing underneath my chair. "Oh, you know, just things I have to do." I wasn't fooling anyone but I really couldn't stand to be in the area when I showed the world just how much of a freak I was by opening my mouth. I snapped my gaze to Ruka and smiled, "It was very nice to meet you, Ruka-pyon."

His smile faltered on his face. "Ruka… pyon?"

I wanted to bash my head in for my stupidity. Ruka-pyon? Seriously? I could feel my face heating up before I shrugged apologetically. "Well, you know, because you like animals and all…" I muttered, embarrassed as everyone laughed at our expense. "I guess that's pretty ridiculous, huh."

He shook his head and smiled. "That's fine. Very nice to meet you, too."

I nodded and pushed my chair back quickly. Right into a solid body. Hyuuga Natsume's solid body. I could hear his friends laugh and I spun around, recognizing a few of the boys with him being the ones with him the other day. A quick look up into Hyuuga expression told me he was annoyed.

"Oh," I answered stiffly, "Sorry about that."

It would've been effective if I'd actually _sounded_ sorry in the first place. I didn't bother waiting any longer as I grabbed my wallet, quickly making a fast getaway. I knew where I was going, I just didn't know _how_ I would get there. The library, the place that I had wanted to go to since arriving, was on the other side of campus, which was pretty darn far and I seriously did _not _want to walk it. I had been wandering around for less than five minutes when I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, skidding on my hands and knees.

"Ow," I hissed quietly, rubbing the rocks and the dirt from the cut on my elbow. "Wonderful! What a way to start the afternoon," I muttered angrily, getting up to brush my pants off.

"Well, I definitely wouldn't want to start my afternoon like that," someone chuckled from behind me. Deep chuckles accompanied the comment and I snapped my head back to see who it was. Another group of boys and I just had to notice that they were pretty handsome, too.

Great.

"Hey, you're bleeding, you know," the leading boy said. He had chocolate brown hair just a little darker than mine, gelled into a messy disarray that suited him. I couldn't tell for sure from where I was standing, but I was pretty sure that his eyes were the color of a tantalizing aquamarine that brightened when he looked at me. The first thought I had was that he was handsome. Too handsome.

The second thing that came to mind was the fact that I remembered him from yesterday, probably being the one the Hyuuga was having his dispute with. I rolled my eyes after inspecting him and his friends suspiciously. "Thank you for the obvious," I muttered low enough for only me to hear, turning around to walk towards the library. I kept my eyes on the sidewalk, hoping to avoid another fatal trip today and I could hear the revving of engines and see the whiz of cars that left the food court and down the roads toward the dorms.

_This school was really big,_ I couldn't help but think again.

The pounding of footsteps behind me sounded and I felt my elbow being pulled roughly. "What the—"

"Here, take these. That cut looks pretty bad." I looked up, surprised, to glimpse a sweet, friendly smile and deep blue eyes. It was the boy from earlier. I could have sworn he'd left with his friends. I looked down at his hands, holding a wad of napkins. I narrowed my eyes at him and took the napkins gingerly, dabbing slowly at the blood from my cut.

"Thank you." He smirked and steered me around back to where I came from. "Umm… what are you doing?"

He shot me a boyish grin that stopped my breath before opening the door of a navy blue sports car, ushering me into the passenger's seat. "After you, milady."

I shook my head, arms crossed over my chest. "No thank you. I'd appreciate it if you'd let go of me before I start screaming."

He looked mightily amused, but the smile on his face was still gallant. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he bowed like a knight and I couldn't stop the smile itching at the edges of my lips. He put a hand on the back of his head and smiled sheepishly. "Okay, I know you're going somewhere and I just wanted to drive you, okay?"

I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious. "We don't even know each other. I don't even know what your name is."

He smirked victoriously, "Finally!" He grinned and reached a hand out for me to shake. "The name's Akimoto. Hitoshi Akimoto," he answered in a _James Bond_ voice.

The name flashed in my memory as the one Sumire had mentioned. No wonder he was on the list. I had to admit, he was pretty cute. He had the whole dimple thing going on. Bah, it was so unfair.

I hesitated and reached out my own before saying, "Mikan Sakura. Nice to meet you."

In a flash, he reached an arm around my back and pulled me closer to his side. Grinning, he said, "So now that we know each other, tell me where you're going and I'd be glad to give you a ride."

I sighed, my resolve wavering. It was a really long way and I really _didn't_ want to walk the whole way there… looking at his smile once more, instantly reminded of Ruka's, I sighed and ducked warily into the car. "The library, please."

During the ride, he made jokes and turned the radio on to a metal band. The jokes I could stand… metal music…? I preferred rock. So when he stopped at the curb with the library in view, I practically jumped out of the car and onto the sidewalk, slamming the door shut. Akimoto rolled down the window and poked a head out. "See you around campus, Mikan."

I nodded, "Thank you for the ride."

I walked briskly into the new building of the library. The red and maroon bricks gleamed in the afternoon sun as the rays of light beat on my back. I hadn't even reached the building before I heard them, distinct footsteps that matched my own. When I stopped, they stopped. When I walked, their footsteps continued right along with me. I didn't want to turn around for fear that this stranger would take advantage of my vulnerability, so instead I walked a little faster towards the library, the stranger behind me keeping pace.

This… stalker wouldn't do something suspicious in a public place… would he?

Panicking, I darted a glance behind me only to see a wad of black hair, the shuffling of feet deafening against the marble of the library floor. My shoes clicked loudly against the ground as I ran to the furthest bookcase, which might've been stupid but my heart was up in my throat and my brain was out of commission.

The only thing that was alive in this library, I thought, was the person that was following me. Nothing in the library stirred, as I leaned against the bookcase, catching my breath. I stopped breathing when I heard the thump of a fallen book and then, the clicking of shoes against the ground once more.

A shadow passed before my very eyes, behind the bookcase in front of me and the footsteps stopped.

Curiously, I walked to the middle of the bookcase and I heard the steps mimicking my own. Holding my breath and stopping just short of the bookcase, I lifted a hand and placed my fingers against the spine of a book, calming my rampaging heart.

The shadow remained unmoving behind the bookcase. Determined and with the last sliver of courage in my body, I pushed with all of my might against the spine of the book and heard the expected thump when the book hit the book on the other side of the bookcase. And then, _SLAM!_

I recognized the gruff curse that followed.

I smirked victoriously, running to the other side of the bookcase to see Natsume Hyuuga holding his forehead and rubbing it gingerly, the book that I had pushed against was lying on the ground.

"You _stalker_!" I shrieked, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

He looked up blandly, his angry crimson eyes cleared into hard chips of red. "Hardly a stalker," he replied, his demeanor and voice were dull.

Blinded by anger, I put my hands on my hips and pursed my lips. "Oh? Then how do you explain your freakish, _stalking_ ways?"

He looked at me with a blank expression and I couldn't help but shift under his scrutiny. "This is a library," he said as if speaking to a child. "I'm here to get a book."

"Really now?" I couldn't keep the sarcasm from my voice. "What book are you looking for?"

Without looking, he peeled the spine of a book out from the shelf beside him and held it beside his face, without even glancing at the cover. "Not that I have anything to prove to you… but this one." He hadn't even looked at the book before taking it out of the shelf! Hoping I'd catch him being a lying arse, I crossed my arms smugly.

"What's the title of the book?"

His eyes didn't stray, nor did he seem to have to think before he answered, "_Driving in the Law_ by Ernie Farther."

I narrowed my eyes. "You're good."

His lips tugged slightly, but his tone was still blank. "Of course, I am."

"Fine," I sniffed. "You go your way and I'll go my way. There's no reason for us to bump into each other again."

He shrugged and turned away, already glancing at more books on the shelf. "The world doesn't revolve around you, you know," he pointed out drolly, raising an eyebrow at the shelf.

"I could say the exact same thing to you, Hyuuga," I spat with narrowed eyes.

When he tilted his head just the slightest, I spied the dark amusement in his eyes. "Who's the stalker now?" he asked as he walked closer to me, book in hand and half a meter away. I could smell him from here and the smell was mouth watering. I snapped out of it when he put an arm beside my head, resting it against the bookcase I was leaning against.

"What do you mean?" I held my breath, hoping my thoughts would _clear._

"You know my name when I didn't even tell you," he pointed out with an arrogant smirk on his face. "Now _that's _stalking."

I stepped under his arm, sneering, "You're full of yourself, Hyuuga."

He turned to look at me curiously and after an intense moment of silence, I started to feel uncomfortable. He was just _standing_ there, looking at me like I was a bug under a microscope! I didn't bother sticking around to hear his comments, as I darted away, cheeks aflame. Grabbing a thick romance novel in the fictional section, thanking God that the librarian was at her post, I quickly got my book scanned and stepped away from the counter.

Leaving the library, I brushed brown wisps of my hair away from my face, the ones that weren't swept up into a messy bun and watched as he watched me, getting his own book scanned and leaving right along with me. His long legs caught up easily to match mine before he whispered in my ear, smirking widely before tapping the side of his book with his finger. Grinning slightly, his eyebrows raised and his smoldering crimson eyes dark, he walked away with a hand in his pocket.

I shook my head, trying to dispel his words as I slowly started back towards my dorm, tripping a few more times. Not because I was klutzy, though that could've been a minor factor. No, it was because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him or the things he'd said.

Or rather…

_"I guess I underestimated you. You're much more interesting than you seem, Mikan Sakura."_

…How had he known my name, exactly?

* * *

_Natsume is not a playboy. Thank you and review!_

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	4. Killing The Queen, Killed By The King

**Disclaimer:** Sorry guys. I don't own Gakuen Alice. **Asuka Sakamoto, Yori Sayuri, Leiko and Azami in this chapter are mine. **Props to lynn for Yori's name and the Asuka Sakamoto happens to describe my best friend on this site, Sarah Patrick. Love you.

* * *

_When you see my face,_

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell._

_When you walk my way,_

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell._

_"Gives You Hell" -** All American Rejects  
**_

**Chapter Four: Killing The Queen, Killed By The King**

Natsume Hyuuga was an enigma and that was all there was to it. How could we have gone from him being a stalker, to me being a stalker, to him being a stalker again? And how the heck was he able to get my name?! I figured it had to do with the fact that I'd left him with my roommates before stalking to the library.

A strange growl echoed off the walls of my room and I was startled to find out that it had come out of my own mouth. When had I become such a psychopath?

I shook my head furiously, grabbing my book bag and slinging it over my shoulder before marching out of my room.

I blame any psychotic changes to my behaviour on Natsume Hyuuga.

I closed my eyes, letting the lovely aroma of food drift towards my nostrils. The heavenly scent of melted butter, the strong odor of sizzling bacon and the faint presence of eggs and cheese wafted to my nose. My senses were in turmoil. I was already salivating at the Godly scent—

_CRASH!_

There was a moment of silence before a ridiculously calm voice said, _"Shouda, go to hell." _

Knowing my two roommates after such a short time, I knew those two wouldn't be able to keep their claws to themselves. It was a wonder how they managed to live here without killing each other. I dropped my book bag on the ground and ran into the kitchen to find my two roommates glaring holes into each other's eyes. Both were already dressed. Sumire had on her glamorous attire whereas Hotaru went for the more comfortable yet stylish look. Neither really paid much attention to me.

"Imai, are you trying to kill me?!" Sumire shrieked, pointed an accusing finger at the accused.

Hotaru rolled her eyes painfully, her lips pursed in a thin line as her fingers drummed on her arms that were crossed tight across her chest. Her lips barely moved when she said, "Killing you by bringing breakfast? You should be glad because this will never happen again."

Ignoring her last comment completely, Sumire hissed, "That's _not_ breakfast! That's a one way ticket to size fourteen boulevard! Are you trying to make me _fat_?!"

Hotaru's eyes were cool and dark. "Then don't eat." She sidestepped the broken china plate pieces with the bacon dotting the ground like twigs.

"You're trying to torture me, aren't you Imai?" Sumire sniffed, feigning an air of indifference. "I knew you didn't like me from the start. No need to try to force me to break my regime. That's so low."

"Don't flatter yourself," Hotaru said dryly, reaching for some paper towel before stepping back to the table and lifting a buttered scone to her lips. A ragged gasp flew from Sumire's open mouth and she bit her lip hard before turning on her heels and leaving in a huff. Hotaru looked over at me with a neutral look on her face. "Come eat, Baka. We have classes in an hour," Hotaru stated to me calmly, taking another bite of her scone.

I walked hesitantly into the room, looking down at the broken plate on the floor sadly.

_Poor bacon. You never saw it coming._

* * *

Sumire had come back into our dorm room twenty minutes later with a large smile on her face and a **Grande Tazo® Chai Latte** in hand.

What was in my hand, you ask? Well, it was none other than a broom and rag after cleaning up the evidence of her diet mood swing. Seriously, Sumire Shouda was such a moody girl. One second, she was wailing her heart out about a boy, then moping about another boy, followed by a shrieking about diet sabotage and now, she was smiling like she'd made it to the end of a rainbow and found a pot of gold at the end.

Note to self: _Weird child. Must stay away._

"I got our schedules!!" she called loudly, taking three large, yellow envelopes from her purse and waving them in the air.

In a second, Hotaru and I were at her sides, ripping apart our envelopes and comparing classes. To my dismay, we barely had any classes with one another. Unlike my old school where our classes were linear, this new school had semesters, meaning only four courses for one half of the year and a different set of four classes for the second half of the year.

I only had one class with both of them and fortunately enough, it was my favourite: English Literature.

The school had a strange system where each class had a letter assigned to it called a 'block' and every day, the block order would change from ABCD to BADC to CDBA then DCBA. Then the cycle would repeat itself. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy to hear of such a system.

"At least we have English together, right?" Sumire smiled hopefully, looping her arm through mine. "Now let's get out of here. School starts in a minute."

She glanced at me and quickly turned back, frowning. "After Mikan changes her pants, that is. Those are _horrible_."

* * *

We left the building together but ended up saying our goodbyes a minute later, since we were all heading to different classes. Carrying a map of the school, with my turtle-like back pack over my back and my small book bag slapping my hip as I walked, I started down the corridors glancing up once in a while to check the number above each door.

What was I looking for again?

_Block A: Math, Room number 3038._

Ugh.

Oh, how the heavens loved to torture me! Why, oh why, did Math have to be the first subject of the day – and why did this school have to be so darn huge? After tripping over a few times and getting tripped, I finally made it to my Math class, the familiar sinking feeling in my stomach appeared. Even in my old school, one step in my math class was all it took for me to feel a part of myself die.

_Math class_—Just the thought of it sent shivers down my spine.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the sliding doors open and stepped into the classroom, immediately feeling sharp glances and glares in my direction. Was it absolutely necessary to stare at me like I was the scum beneath their shoes? Ignoring the eyes that kept glancing at me, I took a seat near the back of the classroom and grabbed my binder from my back pack, writing my name on the top, right hand corner of a fresh piece of paper. The math teacher, a _Jinno-sensei_, walked into the room carrying a whip-like stick and a strange frog on his shoulder. One would immediately think that he was a Biology teacher if it weren't for the symbol for pie tattooed on his forearm and the "I hate my math teacher" mug of coffee on his desk.

He stood tall and menacing over our class and the stern frown on his face made my stomach flip uneasily. "Hey. You over there. Stop talking. You, don't doodle. You're wasting a good tree." He scowled. "Everyone sit down and shut up," he glanced around the now whispering room and sighed tiredly, reaching for the attendance list on his desk. "Where the hell is Hyuuga?"

In answer to his question, an eruption of giggles filled the room and if I didn't know better, I would've thought that it was a rocket blasting off to space. I watched with annoyance as every single girl in the class put their hands over their mouths or over their hearts, giggling like their lives depended on it. Truth be told, it was annoying the heck out of me and it took my last ounce of restraint from throwing myself out of the open window just two desks away. Maybe I should grab a seat by the window, just in case…

The door slid open once more and I rolled my eyes in utter disbelief. Speak of the devil and Natsume Hyuuga doth appear. I looked past him and tried to restrain the scoff itching from my throat. Trust _him_ to come with his loyal posse in tow.

The giggling intensified tenfold and I fought the urge to slap both hands over my ears. That open window was looking like a really great option at the moment.

"Sit down, Hyuuga, before I give you a detention for being late," Jinno barked roughly, hitting the whip repeatedly on the palm of his hand as he watched the group of boys head to the back of the classroom.

"_Relax_ Jinny," Natsume drawled lazily, making his way to the back of the classroom where I had decided to sit. "It's the first block of the first day. No need to get your blood pressure up so early. There'll be _plenty_ of time for that later this semester."

He smirked wickedly at the teacher. Jinno's face flushed an admirable shade of rouge before the physical reaction to his words hit the girls in the room, full force. I swear that I lie not when I say that girls were actually swooning—_swooning_ after he did that! Who swoons when a guy is being a smart ass to the teacher? Or from a simple smirk for that matter? Come on, pathetic much?

I snorted with disbelief, continuing to write my name another three times in the corner of the piece of the paper, ignoring the sounds of footsteps and shuffling of the classroom. I felt something soft brush my arm and looked up in surprise to see Natsume Hyuuga taking the seat to my left. The window seat.

And the bastard was smirking at me. The jerk face had the nerve to—He smirked and I didn't notice his friends taking seats around us as he muttered blandly, "You're new here." His eyes looked straight at the board, his expression almost unmoving, "Welcome to hell."

* * *

Math class couldn't go by fast enough as I headed to Physical Education. Hyuuga hadn't said anything more to me, but all of those jumbled numbers and equations was never really my thing. I couldn't rush out of the room fast enough. That and Jinno found a new play thing to make fun of during math period and it just so happens that the poor victim starts with an M and ends with an E. Yeah, _me_.

I couldn't wait to go to Gym because I loved Gym. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't half bad with sports; if someone would just give me the chance, that is. Figuring me for a clumsy moron, my peers didn't find the idea of me being on their teams appealing. I usually had to sit out during classes. Sighing, I pushed my way into the girl's change room into a mass of straighteners, fluffed hair, too short shorts and too tight shirts.

I mentally groaned. Gag me now, please.

I shifted into a corner beside a girl with fluffy pink curls and a moderate pair of shorts and T-shirt and a girl with a wave of midnight blue hair, straightened to perfection. They both looked at each other and an unspoken question passed between them before they turned back and smiled at me.

"Hi, my name is Anna Umenomiya and this is Nonoko Ogasawara, my best friend," the pink haired girl smiled, offering her hand out for a handshake. I stared at her disbelieving before scrutinizing her suspiciously, shaking her hand.

"Hello, my name is Mikan Sakura."

They smiled identically, grinning from ear to ear before clasping their hands behind their backs and chorusing, "We know!"

Slightly creeped out, I slipped on a pair of Lululemon pants that Hotaru let me keep and bit back a sigh as the smooth, comfortable material slid over my legs. I seriously had to start buying some of this yoga stuff. They felt incredible.

I tugged on an old _Paramore_ T-shirt and slipped on my light runners before tugging my hair out of its half ponytail, gathering it into a messy bun before locking my things in one of the lockers in the change room.

I turned around and saw the two girls again, smiling at me. "Shall we go, then?" the girls called.

"Sure, of course."

Nonoko, probably the shy one of the two, ducked her head and spoke quietly, "I really like your T-shirt. _Paramore_ is one of my favourite bands."

I smiled as she blushed. "Cool, I love them, too."

To think that **_I_** was shy. Compared to Nonoko, I felt like Britney Spears.

A trio of boys passed us and I recognized the pineapple throwing blonde boy from the other day with another blonde boy that looked similar to him. The boys' Gym class—Great, just great.

"Wow, Luna Koizumi is the hottest thing I've ever seen, man," whispered a boy to my right.

"Those shorts make her legs go on forever. Niiiiice."

Anna groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead, smiling apologetically at me. "I'm sorry, Mikan-chan. To think that your first Gym class here has to include Luna Koizumi."

I frowned. "Who's Luna Koizumi?"

"You've never heard of her?!" Nonoko asked surprised, forgetting her shyness. "She's like the Queen Bee here and boy, does she use that to her advantage. Everyone either hates her or loves her because she's popular and powerful. It would be a lie to say that we liked her and no matter how mean that might sound, it's the utter truth."

"She's a man-eater," Anna commented simply, looking off into the distance. I followed her gaze and groaned. I swear I felt like this was Regina all over again. I could just picture the scene of _Mean Girls_ playing over in my mind as I watched a pretty blonde haired girl throw her head back and laugh at something that probably wasn't even funny in the first place.

I wasn't going to judge her just because two girls that I hardly knew told me about her, though. Rumors were an ugly thing. I never did like school because of that. So for now, I'd keep my mind open, though the looks on Anna and Nonoko's faces told me that their hatred towards the girl was pure and primal.

The teachers clapped their hands together and the boys groaned before walking over to the female teacher as the girls walked over to the male teacher. I followed figuring they'd know where to go.

"We have a few new kids this year, which is a rare occurrence so just to embarrass them a bit, let's call up Nobara Ibaragi and Mikan Sakura, shall we?"

I froze and I couldn't help but hate the man in front of us. What a sadistic bastard!

Swallowing hard, I walked to the front as the girls moved out of the way to make room for me, which I thought was very nice. When I got to the front, there was already a girl with a glossy, mix of silver and grey curls on her head. She was easily the most adorable looking girl I've ever seen in my life. She looked like a doll and I couldn't help but fall in a trance when I looked at her.

Her eyelashes were long and dark and the area around her eyes made the stormy grey of her irises pop beautifully. She had an exotic, smoky and mysterious thing going on around her soft features and cheeks. In a nut shell, she was stunning.

"H-hello, my name is Nobara Ibaragi. Pleased to make your acquaintance," she smiled shyly, ducking her head in embarrassment.

I heard a snort of laughter and the loud mumble of_ 'make an acquaintance, my ass'_ before the girls launched into an annoying titter of giggles. I looked beside me to Nobara who was still flushing with embarrassment.

I looked at the class. "My name is Mikan Sakura," I said simply. Saying that I was pleased to meet them would be a lie so I decided not to include that bit.

The teacher dismissed us and I walked back to my post beside Anna with Nobara by my side. "Hey Nobara, wanna join our team?"

She looked surprised at first and then nodded her head timidly. "Great, now let's beat these girls at a game of volleyball. It'll be fun and they won't know what hit them."

She laughed but agreed and we made a team of six with a girl named Yori Sayuri and Asuka Sakamoto and we took to one of the two courts set up. Lucky for us, Luna and her crew came sauntering our way, pretty smiles on their faces with a deeper more menacing curve to their lips.

Flanking the four lead girls were two well-built females, flexing their muscles and working their jaws like they were ready for a fight. From either side of me, Nobara and Nonoko gulped uncomfortably. Luna tossed her hair over her shoulder, a pretty brunette on her left spoke softly in her ear and pointed in our direction. Luna looked surprised and turned to look at me, smirking in my direction as she pulled a bright pink nail file from the pocket of her mini jean shorts and proceeded to file her nails.

_Unbelievable._

"You might want to put that away, Koizumi-san," I told her in what I hoped to be a friendly manner. "We're going to be starting the game soon."

She looked up at me, a sneer on her lips. "Just worry about yourself, Sakura-_san_. I've been at this school far longer than you have and I'll hardly have to lift a finger in this game."

She cocked her head to the side, a slow, mocking smile making its way to her lips. I forced a smile in return, suddenly very glad that this was an all girls' class instead of co-ed like my old school.

I couldn't wait to start the game to see how many ways I could wipe that sneer off her face.

I got ready, bending my knees and waited for the ball to come over the net before I muttered, "Don't say I didn't warn you, Koizumi-_san_."

* * *

It was a tight match. Tight wasn't even the right word; the game was intense. Well, as intense as can be in a girls' gym class, that is. It was a tie and we were serving.

True to her word, Luna Koizumi didn't lift a finger and neither did her three buddies. The two built girls at the back didn't move from their perches, even as we rotated. It seemed that no matter how many people told them to rotate, Luna's team didn't listen at all. This, I assumed, was probably routine for them in earlier years.

Yori overhand served over the net and immediately, Leiko and Azami, the two buff girls started up for the ball, an unspoken strategy passed between them before the ball sailed over once again over to our side.

Yori bumped the ball high towards the setter and though Nobara didn't set it perfectly, the ball still sailed high in the air and my heart stopped when I realized that the ball was coming right at me. This was my chance to get us ahead in the game.

I stepped back, the ball moving slow motion in the air as I took the two necessary steps forward, jumping in the air with my left arm pulled back. And my palm hit the ball with a loud smack.

It all happened so fast.

I didn't see where the ball landed or if it even went over the net because when my feet hit the ground, I tripped and rolled by ankle, sending me sprawled onto my stomach. I was acutely aware of the loud ring of cheers and the slapping of hands on my back that didn't go so well with my aching ankle.

There was a high pitched shriek too and from my position on the ground that resembled the fetal position, I saw a hot pink filer hit the ground with a silent clatter and the ball bounce away, rolling slowly back to my side.

"Oh my God, Mikan-chan," Asuka cried, slowly trying to pull me to my feet. "No one's ever hit Luna Koizumi in the face with a volleyball before!"

_What?!_

"Oh Lord," I whispered, turning my gaze back to the other court.

Luna Koizumi was glaring in my direction, a manicured and freshly filed hand over her cheek. The spot under her hand already turning a magnificent shade of red. Her teeth bared and her claws out, she murmured something to me, but over the loud cheers and laughter, I didn't hear a word.

But by the firm movements of her lips, I made out four words that would change my whole world.

_You're going down, Sakura._

* * *

"Yeah, so I heard about what you did in Gym class today," Hotaru commented before taking a small bite of her English muffin, tapping her fingers against the table top of the food court.

I looked down at my chicken Caesar wrap and felt my stomach turn uncomfortably, putting my hands in my lap as I looked away.

"So you actually hit her in the face?"

I groaned. "I didn't mean to, okay? There was a volleyball coming at me and I hit it."

"At Luna Koizumi."

"I have bad aim!" I cried defensively, throwing my hands up and burying my face into them.

Hotaru didn't sympathize with me. Instead, she took another bite of her muffin and took a sip of her chilled green tea. I watched as a vein pulsed at the back of her neck. Her posture was graceful as she looked past me and narrowed her eyes, the fingers on the table ceased its drumming and clenched soundly into tight fists.

"Scram, there's nothing to see here," she told them, her voice eerily pleasant. I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't happy.

Her eye twitched almost unnoticeably.

Not happy at all.

I turned around in my seat and instantly knew why. From the tables around me, there were dozens of eyes on us, set into tight glares from the girls. The guys didn't seem like they really cared. I turned around quickly. "What the heck?! I _accidentally _hit their Queen Bee in the face with a volleyball and now I feel like they're waiting for me to be alone so that they can jump me and skin me alive!"

I shivered and Hotaru shrugged, resuming her lunch thoughtfully. "I wonder where Shouda is…" she murmured.

A pair of well-manicured hands slammed our table top viciously and I looked up in surprise at Sumire Shouda, her eyes burning with questions and looking like someone had just stolen her favorite shoes.

"Please tell me that what I'm hearing is utterly and completely untrue. Please," she pleaded warily, falling into the empty chair that we reserved for her. "I've been running around like a mad woman, tired and cranky all day and now I'm just plain hungry."

She eyed my chicken Caesar wrap and looked up at me with an _'are you going to eat that'_ stare and I rolled my eyes before pushing my lunch over.

"I wasn't implying anything, but if you insist," she sniffed, taking a large bite and sighing with pleasure.

"So much for that diet," Hotaru murmured quietly, rolling her eyes and dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin.

"Whatever you heard probably isn't true, Permy," I answered her previous question.

"So tell me what happened. You're getting more attention than _I_ am," Sumire mumbled in between bites of the wrap, gesturing with her head to the direction of the many gazes that were directed our way.

"I accidentally hit Luna Koizumi in the face with a volleyball, alright? Now everyone wants to bite my head off," I sulked, taking a swig of my water bottle.

"That's it? Good for you," Sumire congratulated as I rolled my eyes. "I would've thought that it was because of that picture of you on the Dirty Dish column of the Academy's paper."

I spat the mouthful of water out and sputtered, trying to talk in vain. A couple of hard,_ unnecessary_ slaps on my back from Hotaru later, I managed to finally choke out, "What paper? What picture?"

Sumire shrugged. "I don't know actually."

"It's not actually a paper," Hotaru replied calmly, flexing her pale, slender fingers against the table top. "It's a website."

"Say what?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes, reaching into her pocket and took out her newest blackberry. "Alice Academy is one of the richest schools in Japan. We don't _have _school newspapers here. We have school news sites."

I frowned at her explanation. "You mean a newspaper on the internet?"

"Technically it's not a newspaper because it's not on paper. It's on an internet site so it's called a news site, Baka."

I shook my head indifferently. "How did you know about this news site, Hotaru?"

Her velvet eyes found mine and stared without a sliver of emotion, just a blank gaze. I started underneath her scrutiny before she answered with a simple, "I'm an Imai."

"Okay, I don't care about how you know, Imai. Just let me use your blackberry so I can see what the hell everyone is talking about," Sumire growled with irritation.

"Use your own."

Without asking, Sumire made a mad grab for the blackberry on the table and quickly fiddled with the buttons, her eyes scanning the little screen with utmost urgency, her eyes widening and her lips slowly opening into an open mouthed expression.

"What is it, Permy?"

She glanced up at me, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "I thought you said the rumors weren't true, Mikan…"

Startled and thoroughly confused, I looked at Hotaru questionably but she just shrugged and the corners of her lips curved heavenward. She was smiling.

_What was the world coming to?_

I turned back to Sumire who was still staring at the blackberry, her eyebrows knitted and her knuckles turning white. "Permy, I just told you what happened. I hit Luna Koizumi in the face with a volleyball. No need to get all defensive on me."

She glared at me hard, her voice icy when she replied, "I wasn't talking about that, moron. I could give a damn about Luna Koizumi. What I was talking about is your relationship with Natsume."

"What?!" I shook my head, laughing. "There is no relationship with Hyuuga. Trust me."

"Yeah, well what do you have to say about _this_?"

She tossed the blackberry into my lap and I barely caught it in time to see the object to her obvious frustrations. Looking up at her, I was at a loss for words. "It's seriously not what you think, Sumire."

She crossed her arms. "Oh? And just what am I supposed to think?"

"I can explain, he's not – I'm not— we're not doing that, really. The angle is just making it look like that," I explained desperately. "It's the truth."

She melted into the chair and sighed tiredly. "I want to believe you, Mikan. I do—but—" she paused and looked at me guardedly. "You really don't like him? No way whatsoever?"

I took her hand and forced a smile, "I don't like him, Permy."

For some reason, that sentence didn't feel right on my lips.

"Good, then I believe you." She laughed suddenly, leaning back in her chair. "Figures, really. I heard he's never had a girlfriend before or has ever tried to court one. He's supposed to be one of those hard-to-get, mysteriously sexy guys that don't succumb to the opposite sex. Wakako even told me she heard he was gay."

"Wakako?"

"A friend of mine from my last Catholic school," Sumire waved it off. "She's good with gossip."

I smiled but it didn't feel right. The look of relief on Sumire's face made me feel bad and the way Hotaru's eyebrows rose in question to my answering reaction made a whoosh of regret sweep within my belly. I looked back down at the blackberry, the Dirty Dish column of the news site flashed in bold and just below it, there was a picture. A picture of us was staring back at me accusingly.

I flushed red as I looked at the way Natsume was bending his head to my ear and at this angle, it looked as though he was nibbling it or something. The caption below read, _"Has the crowned prince of Alice Academy finally found his crowned princess?"_

I groaned aloud and placed the blackberry back on the table. "This cannot be happening to me," I murmured, disbelieving.

"I'll say," Sumire snapped dryly. "That's supposed to be _me_ in that picture!"

"I'd gladly switch places with you, trust me."

Sumire looked like she wanted to say something else before she looked up and visibly brightened. The familiar scent of cologne met my smell receptors and I ducked my head, groaning once more. "Can't you leave me alone for one day, Hyuuga? It's because of you that my first day of school isn't going the way I want it to."

His face was solemn as he pulled me up by the arm and dragged me towards a parked motorcycle. A feeling of dread washed over me like a tidal wave. "Oh no, no, no, no, _no_. I'm not getting on that thing with you!" I pulled harder but his grasp was firm on my arm and I winced. There would definitely be a bruise there tomorrow morning. I gritted my teeth and glared at him. He looked angry.

"Let go of my arm, you're hurting me!"

"Shut up and get on," he drawled, his tone clipped as he jerked me towards the motorcycle. I crossed my arms and looked at him, seriously not believing that he'd actually_ think_ that I'd willingly go with him _anywhere_. I pursed my lips, "_No._"

His eyebrows rose and he sneered, proceeding to drag me to the shading of the forest a distance away, ignoring my attempts to disarm myself from his iron grasp. Once the shade of the trees covered us, he let go of my arm and pushed me roughly against the trunk of a nearby tree, his arms planting themselves firmly on either side of my face as he leaned down, a frown on his lips and his eyes burning.

"What the hell are you up to, Sakura?"

After the initial surprise subsided, I turned on him, my anger getting the best of me. "What the hell am _I_ up to? What the hell are _you _up to?" I spat, putting both hands on his chest and pushing him away. He barely moved, just a grunt of surprise but in a second, he was back and up in my face. "Did you plan this out!?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"If anyone planned a damn thing, it was you. I don't do the boyfriend thing and God knows how many girls want me." The arrogance of that sentence made me grit my teeth and restrain myself from punching him right in the kisser. Natsume frowned, not looking modest in the least or like he was trying to be cocky. He sighed and glared at me, as if he carried the burden of the world. "I have no plans in pursuing you. But you are female, and that alone makes me suspicious that you're just as insane as almost every female in this school."

I scoffed at him. "As much as I'd love to inflate your ego so that you'll explode and get erased off the face of the Earth, I don't like you and contrary to all of your beliefs, not every girl does," I sneered, turning my face away from his intense gaze.

He rolled his eyes, expression bland. "I don't see how you're any different from them."

I snapped my gaze back, glaring him in the eyes. "I, unlike them, don't want the attention that comes with you, okay? I think boys are stupid and hopeless. I don't give a damn how cute or charming a guy is because that's so _fake _nowadays. I wouldn't even _be _here if my mom wasn't away on tour," I ranted, my face probably red with rage. "I don't like you," I breathed icily. "There's a greater probability of me falling in love with a fictional character than there is of me falling in love with you—so there. Does that answer your damn question?!"

I narrowed my eyes at his wide smirk. "Perfectly," he replied and I noticed a strange glow in his eyes that made my breath hitch. A deep rumbling of laughter reached my ears and I was surprised to realize that he had just _chuckled. _Albeit, kind of evilly.

"But don't be so sure about your probabilities, Polka Dots," he smirked wickedly. His next words chilled me to the bone as he said in barely a whisper, "If I remember correctly from this morning, you were never really good at math."

His smirk still etched vividly on his lips, he pulled away, the warmth that emitted from his being extracted from me, and I found that I longed to have it back.

"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?"

He didn't respond except to raise his eyebrows condescendingly. And with that, he started away, tucking a hand into his pocket. I put a hand against the tree to stabilize myself and breathed hard. My mind was so hazy.

"Oh, you might want to button your shirt up, Polka Dots," he called without turning back, waving a hand in the air as his salute as he climbed onto his motorcycle. The faint sound of him revving the engine of his bike echoed in my mind as he sped off.

_Button … my shirt up …?_

I looked down in confusion and my eyes flew open, my body quaking with anger as I did up two more buttons of my shirt, cursing Natsume Hyuuga out of his mind for looking down at my chest.

I'd never look at polka dots the same again. Stupid bra—stupid pervert.

Someone was seriously out there to get me. I mean, all I wanted was to keep a low profile, attract minimum attention and get through the year until my mom came to collect me from this place but _no_—God had different plans.

_God,_ I asked silently as I walked back to my lunch table, _would killing Natsume Hyuuga be too much to ask from you?_

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	5. Harder to Breathe

**Disclaimer:** Sorry, way too cool to be mine so I don't own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say_

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_"Harder to Breathe" - **Maroon Five**_

**Chapter Five: Harder to Breathe**

"What was that all about?" Hotaru asked once I sat down at the table and buried my head into my hands.

Sumire frowned, "Yeah, you two looked awfully _cozy_ in my opinion." Her green eyes sharpened to slits and the hands that were laid flat against the table tops were clenched until veins appeared. I saw this, but I didn't really care because I was so _tired._

What kind of day was this anyway? First block included a freaky stare-fest from the whole class, Natsume Hyuuga and Jinno, being the sadistic arse that he was, kept finding lame excuses to pick on me when it was obvious that I didn't know the answer to his math questions.

Second block was the fateful Physical Education class that got me the number one spot on the Queen Bee Luna Koizumi's, hit list as well as on the chopping block of every Luna follower in the school, girls and guys alike.

At lunch, when I thought that nothing could get worse than it already had, I find out that not only have my plans of becoming invisible turned and bit me in the arse, but I was known school-wide because of that stupid article and that stupid photo that didn't even capture the right thing. I mean, who the heck would want to take random pictures of Natsume and me? Isn't there something better they should be doing with their lives? Well, judging by the looks from the girls in the school, they probably devoted their whole lives just for a chance to smell his feet.

No joke.

And the most bogus thing of all was that only half of the day had gone by and I was so damn tired; the sore ankle from Gym class didn't make the day any better either.

"For all that is good and holy, Natsume and I are _not_ cozy. We do not like each other; in fact, to say that I loathe him would be an understatement! He's a cocky, arrogant creep that just loves to piss me off by being a smart ass and of course, by even having the audacity to think that I'd actually stoop so low as to take a false picture of us to put in the school news site," I hissed from gritted teeth. All feelings of confusion and regret about what I had told Sumire earlier was thrown out the window when the damn Hyuuga had looked down my shirt.

Definitely no feelings for Hyuuga.

None whatsoever.

"He thought that you took the picture?" Hotaru asked with an eyebrow up. "That's impossible seeing as you're in the picture. Unless, of course you can be at two places at once, which is highly doubtful."

"Thanks for the obvious, Hotaru," I snorted, slumping against the back rest of the plastic chairs. "But tell that to Hyuuga who had a temporary lapse of thought because he practically slammed me against a tree and called me a fan girl."

I snorted, "Like hell I am."

Sumire sighed, "You know, getting slammed into a tree doesn't sound so bad if Natsume-kun did it. I mean, you have to admit, he's pretty dreamy."

_Did she know how pathetic she sounded?_

I gagged, "And that's all that he has going for him, looks. I bet he's a dumb ass jock without a trace or tremor of a brainwave within that inflated head of his. We already know that he's an arrogant creep that has nothing better to do with his life than to harass vulnerable, not to mention _injured_ people, what other trait could he possibly possess?!"

Hotaru rolled her eyes. "You're hardly injured, Mikan," she said, drinking some water and placing her blackberry back into her bag. "And you'd be surprised, Hyuuga has a lot more going for him than looks."

"Admit it, Natsume Hyuuga has super sexy,_ I-am-a-stud-muffin _looks," Sumire pointed out dreamily. She was practically glowing when she said, "I seriously can't get enough of those _arms._ They're so strong looking and not in that gross _I-lift-500-pound-weights-everyday _strong but the_ You-are-absolutely-safe-within-my-arms_ kind of strong."

She sighed again and laid her cheek upon her open palm. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I said, "Pull yourself together, Permy. He can't be that great. I mean, when you realize how NOT perfect he is, you'll just be disappointed. In my opinion, it's best to think the least of people and be surprised when they turn out better than you imagined than to have them on this pedestal and find out that they're slimy creeps. Trust me, I know."

She scoffed, "Like you'd actually know. You're a beautiful girl and all Mikan, but with your attitude and the way you dress, I find it hard to believe that you have experience." She smirked, "Truthfully, how many boyfriends have you had?"

I shrugged, "Zero."

"Exactly my point. You've had no experience with guys," Sumire replied. "I, on the other hand, have had quite a number of boyfriends and I've never been let down yet. I'll stick to my tactics and you stick to yours. We'll see who gets the guy first."

I looked at Hotaru desperately but she seemed to be enjoying our conversation too much for her own good. "Sumire, if you haven't been listening to me for the past _week, I do not want nor need a boyfriend. I do not have tactics, I have no experience and I really could care less._ You can get any boy you want and I won't care."

Sumire shook her head wryly and looked at me with a cool expression, almost knowing. "I have been listening to you, moron. I'm not deaf and you've been saying the same thing every single day." She leaned closer to me, her elbows on the table and her upper body hovering above the tabletop as she said in a light voice, "The truth is, I think you're kidding yourself."

"Oh? And why would that be?" I asked sarcastically.

She shrugged, "You always seem to hide behind your romantic stories and fictional novels when you really want a real guy to take the place of your perfect and might I add, _imaginary_ boyfriend. Don't even try to tell me that you don't have this perfect image of your perfect boy."

"Well, sure. I've never said anything to insinuate anything otherwise. I've already told you that I don't believe guys these days are true. They're all so hopeless that it just makes me want to die alone with 58 cats that rhyme, in some way, with Barry," I stretched my arms and rubbed my neck. "And if you think I'm kidding, I'm totally serious."

"If you always have this image of the perfect guy in your mind," Hotaru started, her velvet eyes looking intensely into mine as she tucked a thread of hair behind her ear, "You're going to let the person you're destined with to slip right through your fingers."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked with a frown.

"And when did the great Hotaru Imai believe in destiny and fate?" Sumire teased.

She shook her head and got to her feet. "Figure it out yourself. I have Chemistry class, I'll see the both of you in English Lit. last block," and with that, she walked away.

"That girl is way too mysterious for her own good," Sumire whined, folding her arms over her chest with a pout. She looked up at the sky and squinted, "I guess we should both get going, classes are going to start soon."

I nodded and got up, wincing when my ankle moved in the wrong direction. Heaving my backpack across my back, I followed Sumire back to the Academy doors, all the while thinking about what Hotaru had just said. She was a smart girl, maybe a little too laconic for my tastes but she made valid points. What if the right guy for me had already slipped between my fingers because I hadn't bothered to give him a chance? Had the fantasy of having Mr. Darcy or some other fictional character come to life blinded me from the simple truth that nobody, fictional or real, could compare to him?

"—Can you take that dumb look off your face?" Sumire's annoyed voice asked from beside me. Her hands were on her hips and I frowned, "Seriously, you looked like your dog died or something. Calm down in History and I'll see you in English, bye!"

"Do you believe in destiny?" I blurted out at her turned back, blushing at the stupid and random question. A moment of silence followed and she turned, her long, shiny dark green locks cascading down her back as she sent a sly smile my way. "I stopped believing in destiny a long time ago."

* * *

History class was boring.

The teacher was so dull and monotone that my eyes started drooping once he had opened his mouth and before they closed completely, I glanced around the classroom to find similar reactions to the class "discussion" that happened to include only one girl with thick, horn-rimmed glasses and of course, the teacher Noda-sensei.

"Psst, Sakura!"

I stiffened, my head that was resting on my crossed arms on the desktop barely moved to see if I had imagined someone calling my name. When nothing happened, I resumed my earlier position, my cheek pressed against my arms and my eyes closed once again. The faint drone of the teacher and student discussion about the tactics that the Vikings had used to chase bison and buffalo were muffled in the background as I tried to focus on the whistling of the trees outside and the cool breeze from the open window.

"Psst, Sa-ku-ra!!"

I lifted my head up in surprise and felt the impact of an object to my forehead; a small paper ball bounced off my face and onto the surface of my desk before rolling off the edge of the wooden surface. I snatched the ball off the ground, watching closely if the teacher had noticed.

He hadn't.

Hesitantly, I opened up the ball of paper and inside, messily scribbled in dark letters read: _The desk to your right._

I looked over to my right and was surprised to see a blond boy. No, not a blond boy, _the_ blond boy. The blond boy that had whipped a pineapple slice at Sumire that day at the food court. He had a silly smile on his face that reached his bright brown eyes and I narrowed my own at him. His smile faltered as he cocked his head to the side. He turned back to his notebook, scribbling furiously on the page before looking up at the teacher and slowly ripping it from his notebook.

The sound was like sirens to my ears and I wondered how it was even possible that I hadn't noticed him ripping the last note out. I must've been in one of my dazes because the blond boy chucked the paper at my head again and I resisted a scream of indignation as I lunged to get the paper ball before it rolled off the table.

I could hear his muffled laughs as I blushed and opened the note up:_ Why do you look so angry with me?_

I glanced at him and he actually looked concerned until he caught me staring and he pasted that familiar smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and fished out a pen from my bag before looking at his friendly smile once more. Putting pen to paper, I wrote:_ Maybe because you had the balls to throw a pineapple slice at my friend the first time I met you._

I threw it back over to him and not a second later, he threw it back. I looked at him, his eyes were up at the front of the classroom where Noda was looking at the class expectantly and I concluded that he must've asked us a question and no one had been paying attention.

When he had gone back to his "riveting" discussion with Sarihara-san (that was the name of the girl with the horn-rimmed glasses), I opened the paper ball to read: _Oh, lighten up. It was for fun! Besides, if I hadn't done it, one of the other guys would've gotten something even more disgusting to throw._

I frowned and wrote back:_ Why would you have to throw something at her anyway and couldn't you have found something less slimy and embarrassing?_

I threw it back and I heard him snort before the paper ball returned. This time, I didn't hesitate and just opened the note. _You saw her gawking at Natsume, didn't you? She was just asking to get hit by a pineapple. I mean, I know only too well how many girls like Natsume, it sucks that someone as pretty as her would like him too._

Stunned, I looked up to see his serious face. No longer was he wearing a silly, happy grin; he looked absolutely serious. _Why, is there something wrong with Natsume or something? Why is it a crime to like him? _I wrote, throwing it back his way.

When he threw his reply, I had to look around the paper to find it since our other messages were covering the page. In a corner, he wrote: _Nothing's wrong with liking Natsume, even I have to admit, he's cool and one of my best friends. It's just that he has every girl at his beck and call and every one of them KNOWS that he doesn't and won't return their affections. I just don't understand why they can't move on _… _Natsume just doesn't date girls. He doesn't like them that way. There's only one time he pays attention to a girl and it's not because he wants to do anything with her. Uh, yeah. Saying too much but Natsume's a good guy and all. He's not a playboy like that bastard Akimoto. He's just got... other things on his mind, more important than entertaining girls. He's always been that way. If Shouda thinks any different, then it's just a waste of her time.  
_

I nodded in understanding and threw the note in my backpack, fishing out a new piece of paper and writing: _I know what you're talking about. After that picture on the school's site, I've been catching death glares at all directions and what I find ironic is that the picture is the exact opposite to what I would ever want to do with Natsume. He's an arrogant, good for nothing creep. Sorry if degrading your best friend offends you._

Muffled laughs came from the desk beside me as he wrote and soon, the note came flying back. _You know what? You're funnier than I thought you'd be. I've wanted to talk to you since Gym class last block when you spiked the ball at Luna's face. I'm glad that I have this class with you. My name is Kokoro Yome, by the way. Just call me Koko._

I smiled, finally being able to put a name to the face. Then, I reread the part about Gym class and groaned. And just when I was starting to forget that incident too! _Oh lovely. Just when I was getting over the volleyball incident, you just HAD to bring it up. Let me just say now that I didn't intentionally hit her in the face, okay? Oh and my name is Mikan Sakura but just call me Mikan. Nice to meet you Koko._

He was taking longer than usual to answer so I looked out the window and imagine my surprise when I saw a blob on one of the branches of a distant Sakura tree and I don't know why or how I knew that it was Natsume Hyuuga, but I did.

_Why wasn't he in class, _I wondered. Not that I was concerned, really. Just slightly curious as to why a student wouldn't be in classes. Maybe he was skipping or something. I shook my head disapprovingly and turned as I felt the sharp jab to the sensitive skin on my forearms.

I yelped and quickly hid the ball of paper as Noda looked over, annoyance in his eyes when he was interrupted, before he made a show of walking my way.

Did Koko just jab me with a _pencil?_

"Ms. Sakura, I know that you are a new addition to our school but please refrain from disturbing my class," he said sternly as chuckles and giggles resounded around the room. He smiled at me and leaned down a bit before whispering, "Because I might have to read all of those notes between you and Yome-kun aloud to the class."

_He knew!?_

I nodded slowly and watched as he smiled a gentle and friendly smile. When he had left and gone back to the front of the class and when the last pairs of eyes left my face, I opened the note and read:_ You don't have to tell me what your name is, everyone knows_—

I groaned and instantly remembered that I was in class. So I grimaced instead.

—_because after your little stunt in Gym class, Koizumi has been yelling for the Gods to hear about what you did. Sure, she exaggerated a bit, saying that you nailed her 10 times in the head and broke her ankle before the match but that's Koizumi for you. Or it could've been because Natsume was there and she wanted to play the damsel in distress thing. _

_Natsume was pissed off about that article, man. And I'm pretty certain that you have the decency not to do something like that. And you shouldn't walk around campus alone or he'll come and "talk" to you. Either that or Luna and the Natsume fan girls will come after you; you don't know how protective they can be to the girls that hang around Natsume. You do know what you've gotten yourself into, don't you? Koizumi is the meanest girl you'll ever meet and I'm not joking either. She's the spawn of the devil himself, just - be careful. Seriously, you're the only girl that is actually cool here. You and Imai but Imai is kind of scary. You didn't hear it from me, ok?_

I would've smiled and possibly laughed if I wasn't so internally _terrified_. I mean, I know that he was trying to sound helpful and reassuring but I couldn't help but feel so hunted. And what was up with Koizumi? I mean, yeah it must've hurt to get hit with the volleyball and all but to lie and said that I broke her ankle before the match?

Come on! She was walking just fine with her three inch stilettos.

Natsume, I could handle. He was only a guy, after all. Luna, on the other hand, was definitely a problem. She looked fit enough to kill and her fans as well as Natsume's fans were looking mighty rabid around school today.

I was just about to write a reply when the bell rang, so I stuffed the note in my bag and turned to see Koko. "Hey!" I yelped, surprised at his sudden appearance.

"Hey there, stranger!" was his silly reply. That funny smile was on his face again and the breeze from outside caught his hair as he turned to walk out the door. "Are you coming or what, Slowpoke?"

I frowned as I caught up to him. "What class do you have next?" I asked.

He smiled and put his arm across my shoulders, pulling me into his chest as he laughed, "I have English with you, silly!"

"How'd you know that I have English? I didn't tell you, did I?"

He shrugged and almost blushed, "I heard you talking to my pineapple target about _destiny_ today." He laughed as I blushed and he led me throughout the school, all the while talking like he'd known me all of his life and I couldn't help but smile and think; this was definitely a guy that I could be friends with.

He was a little over half a foot taller than me, making him about 6'0 tall. His hair, just like the first time that I had seen him, was spiky and messy like he had just gotten out of bed and I could still see the traces of his gel or mousse or whatever that he used that morning. Koko had such a wonderful and calming smell that stuck to him and with his arm across my shoulders, I couldn't help but inhale the wonderful scent of pine and mint, a strange yet reassuring combination.

He was quite big, not muscular but lanky with a strong grip and chest. That permanent smile on his face was captivating and always so goofy that just by looking at him made you want to smile in return, which was always such a great trait. I couldn't help but think that he'd be a great friend to have.

He must've been thinking the same thing because he pulled me closer with a laugh and said, "You know what? We're going to good friends, I can tell!"

I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Yeah, I think so too."

* * *

"What the hell are you doing with him!?" Sumire all but shrieked and bounded over into my face with a scowl on hers.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

Koko was smiling with amusement as she pulled me to the back of the class where Hotaru was already sitting and pushed me onto a vacant desk. "What are you doing with him, Mikan?" she hissed in a whisper.

I shrugged and looked at Hotaru, "Hey, how was Chemistry class? I think I'm taking that next semester."

Sumire turned my chin back to face her and snapped, "Don't ignore me, Mikan. You know how much damage he's done to my reputation already so why are you hanging out with him? Does our friendship mean _nothing_ to you?"

I sighed. "Of course it means something to me, Sumire, come on! He's a really nice guy and aside from the pineapple to your face thing, he's been the nicest guy to talk to me since I came here."

"Don't you see what's happening here!?" she half-shrieked and half-snapped. "He's trying to ruin me—just because he knows a few things he _shouldn't_!"

I raised a brow at the last part and rolled my eyes, "Hardly. We spent the entire history class passing notes and he doesn't sound like the guy that you make him out to be."

"I'd never make out with him!"

"I didn't say you would."

She frowned and looked back at Koko and I followed her gaze. He looked up from the middle row in the "inner circle" and waved at us. I smiled and waved back. He sent a wink Sumire's way; she grimaced and glared at me. "See? I told you he wasn't that bad. Give him a chance Permy, he'll surprise you."

"I'm definitely not giving him a chance," she sniffed haughtily, jumping off the desk. "I'm interested in one boy and only one boy," she smiled slyly, winking at me. "And his name is Natsume Hyuuga."

She twirled around, her smooth hair bouncing with every step that she took and soon the inner circle dispersed for her and within the circle were the two people that I just didn't want to see.

Luna Koizumi and Natsume Hyuuga were in my English class.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Kill me now, please.

Koko laughed at my stricken face and I wondered internally if he had known that Natsume would be in our English class. It seemed that his whole gang was here and I secretly thanked God that my friends were here too. Even Ruka Nogi, Hotaru's boyfriend was here, not that he'd be on my side when his best friend was here but it was nice to see a familiar face.

"Aw, gross. Hyuuga's here," I said in a low voice for only Hotaru and Ruka to hear. Ruka laughed and got another chair to sit beside Hotaru as I glanced at Natsume again.

Luna was tugging on his arm while leaning low against his desk and with the low cut of her shirt, I couldn't help but think that Natsume had a pretty good view of her chest. Her long, blond hair was brushed over her shoulder before she leaned down one more time to say something to him, in which he returned with a one word answer.

She looked frustrated. He looked annoyed. The boys behind Natsume were gawking at her chest. Sumire was gawking at Natsume. I was looking at them as if they were crazy.

"Mikan."

"Yeah?" I asked when I heard Hotaru say my name. "Get Shouda back here, she's going to embarrass herself if she keeps looking at him like that."

I frowned at her and shook my head, chuckling. "Sorry Hotaru, I don't have a death wish. Why doesn't Ruka-pyon do it?" I turned to look at Ruka who was looking intently at Hotaru. "You wouldn't mind, would you Ruka-pyon?" I asked sweetly, trying to turn on the charm.

He looked over, probably surprised at my change in tone and shook his head. "Nah, I don't mind. Do you want me to, Hotaru?" he asked affectionately, blushing as he said her name.

He was smitten; how _sweet._

I smiled and looked at Hotaru but she seemed to be gouging my expression. "No," she answered Ruka. "I want her to do it. Stay here with me," she held his hand and he nodded his head, sending an apologetic look my way.

_Hotaru Imai, you manipulative arse!_

Who knew that Hotaru Imai could turn on the charm like that? Well, with her, anything was possible. "I'm sure Permy can handle herself, I mean, just look at her."

_"What did you just say to me!?"_

The three of us looked over in time to see Sumire lunge at Luna, pulling her down by the arms and giving her two hard slaps on either side of her face.

Luna shrieked and tried to kick her off but Sumire was invincible. Her claws were already out and Luna? Well Luna had her tail between her legs, managing only a couple of scratches on Sumire's arms.

"Oh my God," I whispered, turning to look at Hotaru with wide eyes. "Oh my God, Hotaru! What do we do?!"

She shrugged. Ruka was just as shocked as I was. "I told you to get her back here but you said she'd be okay on her own. I have to admit, I agree with you." She smiled and her eyes twinkled with amusement as she looked back at the ongoing brawl, "At this rate, Koizumi-san's face should be off in no time."

That was all I needed to hear before I ran, tripping over on a desk and bumping into a brown haired boy that yelled my name.

"Sorry!" I yelled, lunging into the inner circle.

I tugged at her arms, her hair was whipping around like mad and the chants around us were deafening. Even so, I yelled loud enough for her to hear, "Permy! Let her go, she's not worth it!"

Needless to say, Sumire ignored me and continued to give Luna a few more slaps to the face and a couple of unfair hair grabs. "Come on, Sumire. When I count to three, I want you to let go of her," I breathed slowly, still a strong grip on her arm. "One, two, three - Oh God! Just let her go!" I cried, pulling her arm heavily.

She shook me off and shrieked, "Let me go, Mikan! You don't know what the hell she just said, I'm going to kill her!"

"No!" I shook my head, leaping at her arms and pulling them back. "I'm not going to lose you yet, you idiot! If you continue, you're going to be hurting more than yourself, you're going to be hurting me!"

She ignored me.

"Don't Sumire," I whispered frantically into her ear. "I need you here with me if I'm going to make it. Please, stop. I need you here," I had to convince her. At this rate, she would be suspended in no time at all. "Sumire, if you get your arse suspended, I will personally kill you."

My threat wasn't as convincing as I thought it'd be.

I tried another tactic and let go of her arm. "You know what? Fine, kick her arse and get expelled but when you're at reform school or whatever, don't call me and tell me that you regret what you did because you know what else? Luna will have one hell of a chance winning Natsume over without you around to give her a run for her money."

That did it.

I caught her - hook, line and sinker.

She couldn't help a few more slaps for good measure but it only took me a few minutes with Koko's help, to wrestle Sumire away from Luna's flailing arms. Luna jumped up, her chipped and hot pink fingernail pointed in my direction as she shrieked, "Mikan Sakura, you _savage_!!"

_Me? She was calling me the savage?_ I would've lunged at her myself if I wasn't breathing so heavily.

She shook her head, crocodile tears making their way down her cheeks as she pointed at me and looked at the students in the English room who had all silenced upon the abrupt end to what they had wanted to be a full out catfight. "Did you all see that?" she asked shrilly, her high-pitched voice cutting through the air. "Did you see how Mikan Sakura called her pet to attack me?!"

_Way to turn on the drama, Luna,_ I wanted to say.

"Pet? I am a _pet_ to no one! You insolent little bi--!"

"Natsume-kun!! Oh, Natsume-kun, they attacked me like savages!" Luna cried and threw herself into his arms. "Please tell me you'll defend my honor! Please tell me that I didn't suffer for _nothing_!"

Natsume was unaffected, thank God. Well he'd better be unaffected because her acting was absolutely horrible. She probably never had to worry about girls like Sumire and me because no one had the guts to stand up to her. Not that I did. Everything I did that was "patriotic" to her was accidental.

The sound of applause from the front of the classroom sounded and I looked up in surprise when a handsome blonde man appeared. "Bravo, bravo!"

Students scurried to their desks but Sumire and I were rooted to the spot, and seeing as Koko was still holding onto Sumire's other arm, he was left standing as well.

The man's voice was enthusiastic when he said, "That was a great show you five put on!! Everyone, give them a round of applause!"

Hesitantly, the students that had watched the fight before them started clapping half-heartedly. "Wow, I loved the passion and the enthusiasm you all displayed!! Koizumi-chan, you might want to work on your acting. I loved your passion but the acting needs a lot of work when you're trying to sound like the damsel in distress. Koko-kun, your need and fire to pull away your lover was absolutely tear-jerking!" he wiped at an imaginary tear and then turned his gaze onto Sumire and me.

"You two!" he cried, engulfing us in hugs. "I can just tell that you two are new and yet you were able to get along so well with Luna-chan and Natsume-kun! That's fantastic!"

He pointed at Sumire and held her hands in his and said, "You, my dear - are a _star_!! I saw you leap, inhibited and reckless like the love in all of our hearts. You didn't think, you didn't care about the consequences and yet you dived into action, defending your honor and those of the ones that you loved!" He swooned with a hand on his forehead and sighed. "Beautiful, that - my dear - was breathtakingly beautiful."

She looked dazed and confused when he dropped her hands and came over to me, draping an arm over my shoulders and put his hand out in front of us like there was an imaginary screen before our very eyes. "You, dear child - have a gift. I can see the headlines of the play now," his hand moved like words in front of my eyes, "Passion, love and _deceitful_ regret! Alice Academy captures the dream!!"

He let me go, twirling around on the spot before bowing low, "You are a goddess. But forgive my manners when I ask, what is your name, fair maiden?"

I glanced frantically around the room and saw Hotaru and Ruka trying to hide their laughing faces. I glared at them, "Mikan Sakura, sir."

"Mikan Sakura," he cried, "the name of a _star_!!"

Abruptly, he turned around.

"Oh Natsume-kun!!" he scolded, walking towards the boy. "I know you play the role of the handsome, indifferent boy to perfection but can we change up your role this year?"

He clapped his hands and walked up to the front of the class. "Sit down everybody! Everybody, sit down!"

"Who the heck is this guy?" I whispered, taking a seat next to Hotaru as the blonde man continued to flail his arms around.

He answered me with an extra twinkle in his captivating purple eyes, "I, fair wo-maidens and gentlemaidens, am Narumi-sensei - your beautiful English teacher!!"

* * *

**This chapter was inspired by **Blades of Glory** that I do not own. **

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	6. Shirts and Skins

**Disclaimer:** Of course I own Gakue -_ smack! - _Just kidding!

* * *

_It's getting hot in here_

_So take off all of your clothes_

_I am getting so hot_

_I wanna take my clothes off._

_"__Hot in Here__" _—_**Nelly**_

**Chapter Six: Shirts and Skins****  
**

"I'm sorry, you're delusional—Thai food is better."

"Italian," he repeated resolutely.

I rolled my eyes. "Color? Mine's green."

"Red."

"Romantic Comedies?"

"Action or horror."

I glared at the overly smug boy in front of me and I swear, I was inches away from lunging over the desks that separated us so that I could slap that arrogant smirk off of his face. He was _testing_ me, trying to see how annoyed I could get before I snapped. I _knew_ that was what he was trying to do, and yet—no matter how hard I tried, he knew just what to say to make me want to rip that head off of his shoulders.

As if he read my mind, Natsume smirked and I felt blood rush to my cheeks that mirrored my red, hot fury.

_This guy was impossible!_

And our giddy, little English teacher was the one to blame. Don't get me wrong, the first half hour of class was fine and I was beginning to like Narumi-sensei a lot. He was so enthusiastic and _dramatic_—oh lord was he dramatic—as he explained what material we would be covering in the next four and a half months in his English class and needless to say, I couldn't wait to get started. There was novel study, journals, reading responses, short stories, _poetry_, the list just went on and on.

And he just kept on _smiling_ which would make _me _want to smile and everything was going great. Narumi-sensei and I—we had such a great connection, it was like he _knew_ that I loved literature and I knew that we were going to get along great this semester.

Until, of course—he decided to turn around and stab me in the back.

"_Pair up with somebody beside you and make a list of similarities that you both share! Movies, food, colors_—_share your deepest and darkest secrets... –evil cackle- Mwahaha!!"_

Okay, so he didn't say that last part.

"_I'll give you some time and after, each pair can come up and read out their list just so we can get to know each other better! I want us all to be one big, happy family once this semester is over!"_

Yeah, it wouldn't have been that bad if Hotaru hadn't paired up with Ruka and if Sumire hadn't found herself sitting beside Akimoto Hitoshi. And who was I beside you ask?

Yeah—Natsume Hyuuga.

I just didn't understand why he didn't choose to pair up with Luna. I mean, she was on his other side—why couldn't he just do me this one favor and leave me alone to be somebody else's partner?! He could've been a saint and spared me the unpleasant nightmares that were most definitely going to haunt me after our little session but _noooooo_! He had to be the damn sadistic bastard that he was and make my life a living hell.

Well, I don't really know why I'm so surprised. After all, it was _his_ fault that my school life was falling apart before it even began, right?

Damn him.

"Ten minutes left, everyone!" Narumi sang, skipping along the aisles of desks.

I sighed and turned back to look at my _partner _with what I hoped to be a wary, annoyed expression on my face. "Okay, Hyuuga. We've been at this _task_ for over twenty minutes already and we _still_ haven't found any similarities. Are you _seriously_ answering my questions or are you changing your opinion because you want to annoy the hell out of me?"

He rolled his eyes and drawled, "Once again, Sakura—why do you always think that everything is about you? I happened to be answering your questions truthfully—annoying you is just an added bonus."

He smirked.

I couldn't help but glare back.

"We have to find _something_ that we have in common! I mean, we can't just go to the front of the classroom and stand there like mutes while everyone else has long lists of God-knows-what! That's just pathetic. We can't have _nothing_ in common. We're not _that_ different."

I wrinkled my nose. _Actually, we were pretty different._

"I don't see why we can't," he muttered, interrupting my thoughts. "It's not a crime being different."

"Hyuuga, can you at least _try _to be cooperative?" I hissed angrily, fisting the fabric of my shirt. "Okay, I don't like you and you don't like me. Let's hurry up and get this over with so that we don't have to talk with one another anymore, okay? Now—how many brothers and sisters do you have?"

"I'm beginning to think that the only reason you want to do this _activity_ is because you are madly in love with me and you want to find ways to use my preferences and my _family_ against me."

My jaw dropped and my heart literally stopped beating as I watched a smirk make its way across his lips once more. His eyes were dancing with amusement. He was—the _nerve_!

"YOU—you have to - I swear— you are the - m-most despicable _guy _I have ever met! Ew," I shivered, trying to forget that horrendous accusation. As if I would ever like a guy like him! He was nothing—_nothing _like my dream guy. "I'm sorry, Hyuuga. I know you want that to be the case but under these circumstances and in this _lifetime_, that isn't going to happen—ever. I'm sorry if that disappoints you."

He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head, looking up at my face before laughing once more. I swear, I think I growled at him at some point but he didn't seem to be paying attention to me. Finally after his face composed back to the cool mask of indifference that I had become accustomed to, he turned back to me and smirked.

"One brother and sister."

"What?"

He rolled his eyes and the corners of his lips twitched. "I have one brother and a sister," he repeated slowly, as if I was a child. "I thought you wanted to finish this stupid thing."

His eyebrows rose and I nodded, thankful that he was finally going to be serious. "I'm an only child. What about books?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't read much."

That surprised me. "Really!? But you took that book out of the library the other… day," I blushed, remembering the afternoon the stupid picture was taken. Coincidentally, it was the same day that he'd followed me in the library and I shoved a book at his face. Ahh, I'd do anything to get another chance to shove something in his face. Preferably something larger and made of concrete.

"I'm taking my driving test soon, for cars. I've only ever driven a motorcycle," he shrugged again. He sighed and glared at me pointedly.

"What?"

"This is hopeless and you have impossibly bad taste." He leaned back in his seat and his eyes darkened with displeasure. "A stupid assignment from a stupid teacher," he said.

"Oh sure, _I'm _the one with bad tastes." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. I glared at him, "Maybe it's _you_ that has bad taste, Mr. I-love-horrific-action-movies!"

He frowned. "Better than _romantic comedies_," he snorted, glaring right back at me.

"Well, who the hell likes the color red anyway?! Green is _so_ much better!" I snapped in a hiss.

"_I like the colour red!! It reminds me of Natsume-sama's eyes! KYAAA_—_!"_

"_Me too!"_

"_OH NATSUME-SAMAAA!"_

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, I know why you like the color red now—it reminds you of yourself. Way to be a narcissistic bastard, Natsume."

Unaffected, "It keeps my youth fresh."

I snorted. "Uh huh, _right_."

He narrowed his eyes at the way I drew out the last word and I couldn't help but grin inwardly. Seeing him so annoyed with me brought a certain feeling of ecstasy in my veins. Was this the reason why he enjoyed bugging me so much? Well, if that was the case, maybe we did have something in common—not that I would point that out.

"We have nothing in common," he deadpanned, turning away. "There's no use in trying."

"Of course you have something in common!" Koko chirped loudly, slamming his hands on both of our desks. "I can think of one thing off the top of my head and I just got here!"

"Oh really," Natsume drawled, clearly disbelieving. "And what would that be?"

"Well," he blinked, grinning widely. "You're both breathing, aren't you?"

We looked at each other and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the look of satisfaction on Natsume's face. "We're not using that."

* * *

"—we both love pizza—"

"—without ham and pineapple—"

"—or olives—"

"—or anchovies—"

"—or pepperoni—"

"—or mushrooms."

"Basically," Koko grinned at the class, throwing an arm over Kitsuneme who looked _exactly_ like him and finished, "—we like pizza with only the crust—"

"—and the tomato sauce!"

"I can't believe I forgot about the tomato sauce," Koko nodded, hitting himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. He glanced at his partner and nodded again before looking back at the class, grinning. "We're done."

"Well, you boys were certainly productive! Great job!" Narumi looked down at his clipboard before looking up, "Natsume-kun and partner."

We both stood up and he leaned down near my ear to say, "I'm Natsume and you're _partner._" He snickered and I glared at him, because I was thinking about the exact same thing. That jerk.

We stood at the front of the class and I looked at all of the students—the girls were all glaring daggers at me or swooning over Natsume. Not that I cared or anything.

"Okay, so what do you both have in common?"

I looked over at him with a frown when he smirked, "We're both breathing."

Narumi quirked an eyebrow, an amused smile on his lips as the girl in the class swooned against each other, fanning themselves with their hands.

How embarassing. Only Natsume could walk away from a presentation like that unscathed. I, on the other hand could only trudge back, mortified.

* * *

"Imai and I are going grocery shopping before we watch the boys try out for soccer, do you want anything?"

I looked up from my homework and turned my head to see Sumire tapping her finger against the doorframe, an impatient look on her face. "Why are you guys going grocery shopping anyway?"

"We're not going to be eating out all the time and besides, we need to stock up on junk in case there are good movies on TV or if we're going to rent movies. School is like a never-ending sleepover until summer, Mikan. We get to watch movies, stay up late and talk and eat whatever we want."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What? I'm just telling you the truth. Now do you want something from the store or not?"

"A large pack of Quaker's peanut butter chocolate bars, please."

She shook her head with a laugh, "I'm not even going to ask."

-;-

"No seriously, you guys. I don't think we're allowed to be here," I whispered, nudging Sumire in the ribs. "This is probably _illegal_."

She snorted and shoved her own elbow in my ribs, "We're not doing anything _wrong_ and we're only on school grounds, what are they going to do—suspend us?"

A week had already gone by and here we were—pathetic. How else would someone describe three girls, crouching under a bunch of bleachers, ready to peer through the gap between the seats in order to watch the activities on the field?

Yeah—pathetic.

"Hotaru, do something! You're supposed to be the level-headed one out of all of us!" I turned to narrow my eyes at the indifferent look on her face as she leaned casually against the rails of the bleachers and shrugged her shoulders. "This is a once in a year opportunity and girls will be lining up to pay big just for a few shots. Who am I to decline their obvious need for photos of this... _event._"

I snorted, "Oh, c'mon. Who would be desperate enough to want to buy photos of guys trying out for soccer?"

Her eyebrow rose, "You'd be surprised."

"Shut up and watch!" Sumire snarled without taking her gaze off of the soccer field. "I didn't bring you guys along so that you could _distract_ me—I brought you guys along because I'm nice and I thought that you guys would be thanking me for this opportunity. Now shut up before I—_oh my_—"

She swooned and had to lean against one of the metal posts that were holding up the bleachers before taking a deep breath and whistling, "—Now that, my friends, is illegal."

Curious, I walked up to her, wrinkling my nose at the chewed up pieces of gum that were stuck on the bottom of the bleachers before leaning against the same rail and looking out towards the field. "I don't get it—all they're doing is running around the track…how is that illegal again?"

She turned around abruptly with her hands on her hips and all but hissed, "What, are you _crazy_? Don't you see their _muscles_!?"

I felt a brush of fabric against my arm before Hotaru stepped up beside me and leaned against the same rail that Sumire and I were leaning against. She sighed and shook her head, "Why aren't we watching _on_ the bleachers?"

"Yeah, down here is disgusting. Not only will you have a better view sitting out in the open, but you won't have to worry about one of those ABC gum thingies falling and getting stuck in your hair," I agreed.

Sumire wrinkled her nose, quickly glancing up and promptly gagging at the number of chewed gum pieces that were stuck to the bottom of the seats. "That is _so_ gross," she shivered, shaking her head. "But we can't just climb to the top of the bleachers and _watch_ them. The tryouts for teams are always closed off to all students that aren't trying out."

She stuck her nose in the air and sniffed, "I think they're just making an excuse so that us girls can't come watch. I mean - I don't know _why_ they think it's such a bad thing. It's not like we'd be distracting them or anything."

As if on cue, there was a cry of surprise that pierced the air and my head snapped to the left in time to see Luna and her sidekicks Kanako, Hinako and Éclair. A smirk made its way to my lips as I watched them being tugged away by the waterboy and the equipment managers. And this all happened under Natsume Hyuuga's instruction.

"Let me go, you lowlives!"

"Natsume-kun! THIS IS ALL A MISTAKE!"

I snorted and shook my head, watching as the other members trying out laughed, shaking their heads and holding onto their stomachs. A few of them came up to Natsume to punch him in the shoulder and jab at his already inflated head. Soon enough however, tryouts were back on and they started stretching their hamstrings, bending over to touch their toes - earning a delighted squeal from Sumire before she swooned and promptly pushed me over.

Glaring up at her from the ground, I fought the urge to push my leg out to trip her but saw all the railings around and didn't want to cause her permanent brain damage. Like it would make a difference when she was in close proximity to her _Natsume-sama_.

Oh well.

Hotaru's eyebrow rose as she glanced down at me on the ground and I thought she'd bend down to offer me a hand but she just snickered and turned back to watch the boys.

I snorted. _So much for being friends._

By the time I got up to my feet, Sumire had a hand over her mouth and was squealing with delight as softly as she could, which consequently made her sound like a strangled ostrich.

"Oh _lord_, thank you so much!" she clapped her hands and jumped up before leaning up and over the rail to peek her head out further. Hotaru snorted but she too was looking _way_ too close that was deemed appropriate which was slightly disorienting.

But then again, she had an excuse. Her boyfriend was trying out, after all. Sumire, on the other hand, was being just too creepy. She'd turn her head every which way just to sigh and squeal before looking at all the other boys trying out.

"This is so stupid," I mumbled, gathering my chocolate bars. "I'm leaving and I'm taking my peanut butter chocolate bars with me, so HA!"

"Okay, you guys, gather around," Persona yelled loudly, effectively stopping me in my tracks. "I'm going to be putting you guys in teams so shirts over there, skins over here."

"_Oh my gosh._ Mikan, you're going to stay here whether you like it or not—I know you're a little prude that has never seen a guy without his shirt on and I don't care, you are getting your head in this gutter or I'll shove your head in and make you watch," Sumire snarled, grabbing my wrist and shoving me beside her. She grabbed hold of my chin and pulled it over to where the boys were standing and she squealed with delight.

"This would _never_ happen at my Catholic school!" she cried.

I rolled my eyes, "Let go of me, Permy," I growled, shaking my head away from her hand and chewed on my chocolate bar. "Okay, okay! I'll stay, alright? I can't believe you said that you'd shove my head into the gutter. Aren't you supposed to say get your head **out** of the gutter?"

She rolled her eyes almost painfully and Hotaru snorted before snickering, "Shouda_ wants_ you to have dirty thoughts."

"That's right! Now watch as—_holy_ _chests and rippled muscles_—"

Gathered into two groups, all of the boys trying out for soccer had been divided and I found myself searching for Natsume. When I had pinpointed a boy with messy black hair whipping every which way by the wind, I observed all of his teammates and found Akimoto Hitoshi on his team as well as Koko and Kitsuneme. Ruka, on the other hand, was in the other group.

"Alright skins, prepare yourselves for the game. Shirts, go over to your side and talk strategy!" Persona shouted, going to the cage of soccer balls and setting up the field with cones.

I looked back toward Natsume's group in time to see them all grabbing hold of the hem of their shirts before pulling them fluidly off their bodies. _Wow..._

Sumire squealed again with delight before leaning up further to get an even closer look. "Amazing, their bodies are absolutely amazing…" she sighed. I darted her a glance before wrinkling my nose in disgust. "Watch it Permy, you're drooling."

"I bet you're wishing Ruka was on the Skin's team, eh Hotaru?" I asked playfully, nudging her in the ribs. She grunted something that sounded like, _I've seen him shirtless countless times_ before glancing once again at the field.

The boys got in their positions, the Shirts fanning themselves while the Skins grinned as the wind brushed their bodies with a gentle caress. Muscles rippled, skin covered in perspiration and wet hair stuck to damp skin like a wet glove as the boys ran around the field, kicking balls and doing whatever else soccer players did.

I really wasn't paying much attention to the game though. Sumire had fainted long after the scrimmage had started and it was just Hotaru and me, leaning on the rail to watch the boys kick around a rubber, black and white ball. Leg muscles rippled and chests gleamed with a sheen of sweat, I couldn't help but think that this was man at his most primal state. I mean, this sport was pretty barbaric. There was tripping, tackling, punching and of course, kicking. I'm pretty sure I saw some biting going on too, but when everything was said and done, I really couldn't be sure. Everyone was working so hard and a few of the boys had already collapsed in the sidelines, not tough enough to carry on with the scrimmage.

I didn't know what the score was, nor who was the best player because there were so many people that were doing so well. Ruka was one of them. He'd managed to score at least four times against the goalie on the opposition but Natsume—Natsume was a machine.

Trust me, I'd rather _die_ before complimenting him. God knows that his head is already fives times the normal size of a human beings because of his awful ego but wow. He was amazing. If watched from afar, I'd think that the sport was brutal and nothing short of a caveman game but watching _him_ closely, it made me appreciate the sport even more.

Unlike Sumire, who had simply been amazed by the rows of glistening chests—I was simply amazed by the gracefulness that he displayed. He almost made it all look effortless as he twisted his torso, rippling his muscles as he dodged with ease. It would've been wrong to say that he was only a cheetah—swift and powerful—but he was like a swan too—beautiful and graceful. He had to be both. His face was one of concentration and yet he looked so relaxed as if there was no place he'd rather be.

He just made it seem too damn easy for his own good. Like my eyes could zoom in on him, I could easily see the veins in his neck and the tendons in his legs working viciously as he weaved his way around the field with a practiced elegance and when my vision reverted back to its normal state and when I looked at the field as a whole, I couldn't help but notice that Natsume stuck out like a sore thumb.

He was just… so much more.

He seemed to be calculating every move with ease and he didn't just score (eight times) but he passed and gave others the chance to score and it was just—he was just— so much more than I thought.

And all too soon, it was over and all the boys soon made their way tiredly to circle the coach, an equally good-looking teacher with black hair and well—everything he was wearing was black actually. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was also wearing black eyeliner and black lipstick but Sumire had fervently told me that he got punched in the kisser and his lips were bruised.

Then again, she didn't have a theory as to why his eyes stood out so much. His black attire stood out among the group of boys, most of whom had opted to take off their sweat soaked shirts and I had to close my eyes when one of them had also opted to take off his shorts and boxers in order to streak across the field with loud cheers and jeers from fellow tryout-ees.

Maybe it was a good thing that Sumire was knocked out cold. She'd be shrieking like a banshee if she had the chance.

From beside me, Hotaru snickered and I found that I forgot she was even there. She was so quiet, it was scary. She turned to me with an indifferent expression on her face before walking over to Sumire's crumpled form in order to jab her in the ribs with the toe of her shoe. There was some mumbling and a few comments from Hotaru about her drooling and her hair being tangled in some pieces of gum but I didn't really pay attention.

I was too busy wondering why the hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end. I took a peek over my shoulder to see all of the boys already jogging off the field and slipping tiredly into the boy's changing room—a boy with black hair bringing up the rear. I shrugged it off and turned back to my two bickering friends as we slowly walked back to our dorm room.

* * *

When we had reached our dorm and when Sumire had stopped jabbering about the _hotness_ that she'd seen and whined about the hotness that she _hadn't _seen, we all decided that we'd do some homework before going out and trying one of the restaurants that we'd vowed to try out on my first day on campus. So by the time dinnertime had arrived, Permy had jammed me into some of her more elegant and smaller clothes because I was shorter and smaller than she was and we piled out the door and into the cool September air.

Apparently we weren't the only ones that had decided to go out and have dinner because there were groups of students milling around, pointing at the different shops that the food district of the school had to offer. We settled for a small Thai restaurant nestled in between an ice cream shop and another Thai restaurant and quickly took the last table near the corner. It wasn't as private as I hoped it'd be but all the tables tucked in the corner of the store had been taken by groups of boisterous boys, some of whom had been at the soccer tryouts.

"Anyway, as I was saying—we_ need_ to make sure that Narumi-sensei chooses Romeo and Juliet. Wouldn't it just be perfect if Natsume-kun and I were Romeo and Juliet?" she sighed, leaning back against the leather cushions of the bench before clasping her hands together with a sparkle in her eye. "I have a plan!"

I sipped the complementary water and quirked an eyebrow at her. "And…?"

"Well, Narumi-sensei already said that he'd be taking suggestions but that the final decision was his, right?" she smirked deviously.

Hotaru and I nodded our heads and Sumire grinned, "And we all know that you—Mikan—have easily whiddled your way into his all-too-dramatic heart, right?"

Hotaru nodded while I just frowned and shook my head. "Now Mikan, all you have to do is convince Narumi that you think Romeo and Juliet would have a bigger audience and that Shakespire is a historic… _thing_ in our English curriculum."

I rolled my eyes, "It's Shakespeare—not Shakespire, okay? Geez, for someone that really wants to do this play, you should've done some research on it, you loser."

She shrugged, brushing off the comment before saying, "Imai agrees with me, don't you Imai?"

Hotaru snorted and crossed her arms delicately onto the surface of our table. "I don't care. I'm not doing any acting either way. I'd rather die."

She looked absolutely serious and I couldn't help but snicker at her aloof expression. "Nicely said."

I turned back to Sumire who had started pouting. "I don't really think you have to worry about that. Narumi already said that he has two blocks of junior English Lit. that he's teaching this year so you have a chance of being in either of the plays."

"Of course, you can't be the lead in both but there is a chance that he'll pick you for one of the leads," Hotaru added with a slight nod of her head before she waved over one of the waiters.

Sumire smiled flirtatiously at the waiter as we ordered our food and by the time he'd left, I continued, "Besides, you heard him in class—he adores Shakespeare. Narumi-sensei will probably choose something from him for our English course."

She sighed dejectedly and shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah, I guess. I really want the star role—Koizumi _cannot_ get that role or I am _seriously_ going to kill something."

I snickered along with Hotaru. "Don't worry, Permy. You know that performance the day before in front of the class really put you on the top of his list. You heard him—Luna was a washed out drama queen that doesn't have a chance in the acting world and you were—what was it again, Hotaru?" I asked playfully.

Bored, she replied, "A star."

"Exactly," I nodded, "—he said you were the star and that Luna really had to work on her acting. What does that say to you?"

"I'm better than her, obviously," Sumire sniffed haughtily, obviously falling for our words. She twirled a pair of chopsticks in her hands as her eyes glazed over. I could practically see the cloud above her head playing a scene of Romeo and Juliet on the balcony, ready to declare their love for one another.

On cue, Sumire sighed.

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly, get a grip Permy."

"Shouda—"

Hotaru rarely talked, so initiating a conversation _willingly_ was a surprise and Sumire and I had no choice but to give her our full attention. "—You never did tell us what Luna said to you to make you want to scratch her face off."

I nodded my head as an image of Luna's arms and messy hair came to view. "Yeah, I was kind of put off by Narumi's constant babbling but what did she say anyway?"

Sumire's eyes hardened almost unnoticeably but Hotaru and I caught the change easily as she forced a smile on her face, "Nothing, nothing. I just—seeing her face just made me want to kill her, that's all."

"Well that's not creepy at all."

Hotaru just nodded in agreement.

-;-

After dinner, the three of us walked out of the restaurant and to the ice cream shop next door that sold a variety of different ice creams, sorbets, frozen yogurts and gelatos and the three of us quickly made our way to the **Häagen**-Dazs® section. And like every other time, I had a mini-election between Chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate peanut butter.

Chocolate peanut butter won by a sliver and I promised myself that next time, I'd get the cookie dough. Sumire just looked at my choice with a smirk before paying for our cones. We sat on a nearby bench to eat our ice cream as Sumire told us a _riveting _story about another recent encounter with Luna.

"—and when I saw her again, I was like _What do you want, cow?_ and she was like _Who are you calling a cow? At least I don't have __green_ _hair _and I was like_ Oh __no__ she didn't_ and then she did something to her face. I'm not sure what it was supposed to be because her eye was twitching and then her lip was twitching and before I knew it her lip _and_ her eye was twitching so I don't know, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I just started _laughing_ at her and Éclair, you know her right? That stupid blonde that has dedicated her life to becoming _just like Luna_? Yeah, her. Well she came up to me, lifted up a hand and was about to slap me whe—" distracted, Sumire furrowed her brow before smiling, "—Hey boys!"

I looked to the direction that she was staring at and couldn't help but jab her in the ribs again before hissing from the corner of my lips, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Remember the soccer!" she sing songed back quietly before jumping to her feet to run and latch herself to Natsume's arm. He rolled his eyes and inconspicuously tried to shake her off but Sumire just squealed with delight before asking, "Do you want to lick my ice cream cone, Natsume-kun?"

I snickered at the look of disgust on his face before I turned to look at Ruka who had smoothly taken a seat next to Hotaru, putting a hand around her waist and whispering a soft, "You look beautiful today, Hotaru."

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned against his side, promptly offering him her ice cream cone and after a look of surprise, he smiled and leaned over to have a taste.

_So cute...!_

"Oi Mikan!"

My head snapped up at the sight of Akimoto walking past with a group of his friends and I smiled a little before waving back. "Don't _Oi_ me, Akimoto," I grinned. "I want a proper hello."

An eyebrow rose and he smirked before walking up to my side and saying, "Hi there beautiful," in my ear and I shivered before the sound of _Aww, Mikan you didn't tell me! _from Sumire snapped me out of my reverie. I glared at her and then at Akimoto for saying it loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I didn't mean that kind of hello, you dork," I mumbled, glaring heatedly at his innocent laughter. He flashed a cool smile before faltering at the sight of Natsume, pasting a mocking smirk on his lips. "If it isn't Hyuuga Natsume—you've come to taint the air with your nasty presence, I see," he sneered, plunging his hands in his pockets.

"It was fine before you got here," Koko responded coolly.

I watched silently, wondering what the hell just happened. I mean, one moment I was laughing at Natsume and watching us all have a good time and now this? What was going on?

"We'll see, Hyuuga. We'll see once and for all who's better," Akimoto smirked once again before twirling his keys in a circle around his index finger. "You've always been all bark and no bite."

There was a snort and Koko barked a laugh before saying rather coldly, "I think you might've been dropped on the head at birth there, Akimoto. If you don't remember, Natsume's been beating you at every sport since freshman year and he's definitely getting the Captain position again so why don't you just walk away now with your tail in between your legs?"

"Before you don't have a tail at all," Natsume finished smoothly, managing to detach himself from Sumire's death grip. I held my breath as I looked back at Akimoto's forced smirk and I saw his eye twitching before he rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever. Come on, guys. This place just got nastier the longer we stayed."

"I agree," Ruka snorted.

He turned but not before saying, "Bye, Mikan-chan. I'll see you later. Hopefully by then, you'll have seen Hyuuga's true colours."

"Yeah, bye," I mumbled back as I looked into Natsume's eyes. His hands were clenched rather tightly and his knuckles were already turning white. Koko cursed silently under his breath before saying, "Well, he's a bastard." He tensed at the silence and rubbed a hand through his hair before sending out an awkward smile. "We should get going too, though. Bye Mikan, Imai… Seaweed."

He snickered and the boys silently followed. Ruka muttered a few words to Hotaru before kissing her on the cheek and following. I looked up to see Natsume still standing there with an indifferent look on his face as if he was looking for something in my eyes. I couldn't understand it though—he looked… disappointed.

I don't remember or know how it happened. One minute he was meters away and the next he was standing right in front of me, leaning down to whisper, "I trust you liked the show at soccer tryouts today… _Polka Dots_." Frozen, I could still feel his warm breath on my cheek. "You know, you could've just sat on the bleachers instead of standing under it—I wouldn't have minded _one bit._"

"But Luna—"

He pulled away before smoothing out his features and I could see black dots that swirled in his irises before he smirked and took a bite out of my ice cream cone, wrinkling his nose. "Peanut butter is disgusting," he muttered absentmindedly. Nevertheless, he leaned down to take another bite before smirking and walking away. He waved a hand in the air before drawling over his shoulder, "Later, Polka Dots."

He climbed onto his parked motorcycle as Koko and Ruka got into their cars, driving their buddies as they flew down the streets and yet, I remained open mouthed with shock at what had just happened.

Sumire was just as shocked as I was and Hotaru just sat there with the same aloof expression on her face.

"What the hell—"

"—was that?" Hotaru finished monotonously.

I looked over at a furious Sumire and slightly amused Hotaru and couldn't help but shake my head and look at the ice cream cone in my hands. "I—I…"

_What a waste of Haagen-Dazs_®_ ice cream, _I thought sullenly, throwing the ice cream cone in the nearest trash can. And I promptly froze because that look in his eye—I finally understood what that look in his eye meant.

Betrayal.

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	7. Unwell

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

_I'm not crazy_

_I'm just a little unwell,_

_I know right now_

_You can't tell._

_But stay a while and maybe then you'll see,_

_A different side of me._

"_Unwell"__ - __**Matchbox Twenty**_

**Chapter Seven: Unwell**

The sun was barely up. The faint glow of light lit up the blue skies, without a cloud in the sky. Just the feeling of the soft light warming up my cold arms and legs made a shiver of pleasure run through my veins as stretched my arms down to touch the tips of my feet.

Running had always been something that I wanted to get into. It'd been a fad at first because I loved the thought of staying healthy but then I'd forget or be too lazy to wake up early enough to go on a run and that trend would stick for a couple of months before I found myself where I was today—breathing in the lovely scent of morning. And yes, morning did have a unique scent all its own.

With my mP3, I swept out of the room, making sure not to wake up both of my dorm mates. I only knew too well that Hotaru pummeled anyone that disturbed her sleep after Sumire tried, one unfortunate morning and Sumire? Well, Sumire killed anyone that took a second of her beauty sleep away.

I've always thought that I was pretty good at running. Aside from the occasional tripping and face planting, I had great stamina and could run for a while without even realizing it. But then again, at times like these where I hadn't broken out the running shoes for a while, the burning and strains in my lungs made it clear that maybe I needed a little more practice.

Contrary to my earlier beliefs, not every place in the city had bad air and tainted skies. At the moment, no clouds were in sight and there were no sounds of traffic or city life at all. Instead, there were the faint chirps of birds in their homes and I couldn't help but feel my muscles relaxing. Running provided the time for me to think, and I planned to do a _whole _lot of thinking.

Like what the hell was that fiasco the other day?! And no, I am _not _exaggerating. Permy practically blew up and started abusing every person that passed us on our way back to the dorms. Honestly—if she thought there weren't hot guys looking, she'd be biting off heads faster than I did to those animal crackers in my room—picturing the animal crackers being Natsume's head, that is.

That overly big-headed jerk, what the hell is _wrong_ with him!? I'm beginning to think that he _likes _seeing me flustered! I'm fine with him hanging around when our friends are there but to keep making Permy want to rip my head off every time he comes by is starting to really grate at my nerves. Who does he think he is?! Geez! He has some _real _nerve taking a bite out of my freaking ice cream cone! If he wanted to have some ice cream, he could've bought some for himself, that rich bastard but _nooooo_!! He just had to take a bite—_no!_—_two_ bites out of my ice cream cone! It was _Haagen-Dazs_® for crying out loud…!

And what was up with that _look_? So Natsume doesn't have a nice relationship with Akimoto, so what?! Does it give him the right to harass me every chance he gets? Of course not! Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that the female population of this place reminded me every freaking day about his masculinity, I swear I would've mistook him as a female because of his massive mood swings. One moment he was all _You-have-befriended-my-arch-nemisis_ and the next he was_ You-shall-share-your-ice-cream-cone-with-me-even-though-I-like-it-not. _Smirk, smirk.

By God, if he thought for one secon—

"What the—" I skidded to a stop because I swear I heard somebody yell—I _swear. _Who would be around campus at a time like this? It was probably what? Half past six in the morning? I turned the volume of my mP3 down and pulled my earphones out of my ears before stuffing them in the pockets of my shorts.

I craned my neck to listen but there was nothing.

Even the _birds_ stopped chirping. I wouldn't be surprised if it was _me_ that yelled. I was just about to pull my earphones back on when I heard a loud crack like skin hitting skin and then a loud groan and a strangled scream and that was all that it took to make my legs pump faster than they had ever gone before as I charged blindly toward the scream. Because those sounds—that _scream_—didn't sound like something good.

I froze when I rounded the bend and I felt my stomach drop to my feet. My body was trembling with anger and I couldn't help the next word that fell from my lips—

"_You—!"_

Four faces whipped around to face me and my stomach dropped even further because the only thing I was aware of was the sound of _her_ sobbing.

"Get her! Get her you two!"

"Help me! Help!" There was a girl, a girl younger than me and she was being _touched_ by these—_cretins_. Honestly, I don't know what came over me because I've never taken any self-defense courses but when I saw _red, _I couldn't stop the punch I launched at the first guy that came up to me_._ I was _blinded_ by red and I don't know how I did it but I managed to kick one of the guys in a place where he'd rather not be kicked and happened to slip past the other one while the last one kept the girl pinned against the ground.

I was bristling, I was so angry and I_ swear _as I ran to the little girl, so help that bastard because I would've _killed_ him if I had the chance. Instead, I settled on calling him the dirtiest names in the book as I kicked him and ripped him off of the little girl, stumbling as I grabbed her little arm. "Please, help!" she sobbed urgently.

I whirled her away from them and hissed angrily. "_You bastards! How could you even _think _about doing that kind of thing to some defenseless little girl?! Honestly! _Y_ou shouldn't even _exist_ on this planet because you are an old, perverted bastard_—_once I get my hands on you, you will _wish_ that you weren't born because my foot will be so far up your arse, you will _never—_"_

I was faintly aware of the tugging on my shoulder but the words were spilling from my mouth faster than diarrhea and so help me—they were _touching_ her! A bright flash of light lit in front of my eyes and a shooting of pain ran from my shoulder and I whirled around to face the cute, little girl. "Let's go! We have to go!" she screamed.

"Wha—?"

The three guys were getting up. "Oh, " I murmured softly as she tugged on my sleeve, and it took my brain a moment to click with the information before I _actually_ understood what she was saying. "Oh… oh!"

And we took off running and the adrenaline was pumping in my veins as the loud yells and grunts of the bastards behind us rang in my ears. But that didn't matter because the little girl running beside me kept chanting, "I'm sorry—I'm so, _so_ sorry!"

"It doesn't matter! Just _run_!"

I didn't dare look over my shoulder. Loud footsteps echoing off of the ground and the sound of pounding feet made my head spin and I made sure that she was ahead of me the whole time. God knows I would never let her be another victim of what they were doing if I had the choice. They were—_goddamn!_ I can't _believe_—

She was lagging behind and my stomach twisted, "No! No—you can't stop now! Just a little further, c'mon! Just push yourself a little harder!"

She sobbed, "I can't—I c-can't!" She shook her head but kept running and finally, I looked behind us to see them closing in. And what I hated more than the fact that we were being chased was that our pursuers were all wrong. They weren't the ugly guys that I'd pictured like those guys in movies and in books. The bad guys always had zits and pimples on their faces, with oily or matted hair stuck to their foreheads and yellowing teeth—maybe a crooked nose or jaw but _these_ guys—they were _good-_looking and that just made me feel even more disgusted.

"Hey, _hey_! She's that Sakura girl—hurry up and get her shitheads!"

The girl sobbed and I just ran harder.

Books—they were deceptions. A world of unreality—a world of escape. A place that made girls like me believe that everything ended happily. Bad things never happened to good people and bad people always got their just desserts. Prince charmings flew in to save their damsels in distress and the princess always smiled beautifully without a care in the world the whole entire time. Everyone was supposed to be encouraging and optimistic. The glass was half-full and all that jazz. But in reality, that was—

Crap. That was what it was. And the current situation was just a prime example of that. _This_ wasn't something that girls smiled about. _This_ showed that bad things _do_ happen to good people. Bad people got away with everything and there sure as hell wasn't a prince charming ready to jump out of a corner to save our hides.

The glass was freakin' half-empty in our case because this was _real_—and that just made my stomach twist even tighter.

My throat burned from my earlier run and now, here I was running from _them_. I couldn't hold out much longer. I _knew_ I couldn't and the girl—the girl didn't look like she was in any better shape than I was.

We were goners.

"Hey—hey," I panted in a whisper. The girl sobbed and turned her navy blue eyes to mine with—what made my stomach drop with shame—hope and faith—she _trusted _me. "What's… what's your name?"

"Aoi."

No hesitation—just utmost trust.

I shook my head. She was much too young for this.

"Listen, Aoi—when I turn around, you better—and I don't want you to play the hero—I want you to run and _hide_. Don't hide somewhere in the open, somewhere that they'll have a hard time finding you, okay?" She shook her head. I clenched my fists tighter. "This is no time to play the _hero_, Aoi…! Just do as I say and _hide_, alright?!"

"Wh—What about you?" she whispered, panting hard. I swallowed and my mouth went dry before I narrowed my eyes. "I'll be fine. I may not look like much, but I'm pro at kung fu fighting. I'll whoop their arses."

_Liar_—_You're a horrible liar._

"O-Okay."

_Or not._

Up ahead, there was another corner of the school and by the time we rounded the bend, one of our pursuers was an armslength away. I didn't dare speed up or Aoi would be taken. I _knew_ she'd be taken. She lagged behind and I pushed her roughly ahead. "Now—now! _Hide!_ "

I skidded to a stop and whirled around and he looked surprised that I stopped. My chest was heaving with harsh, uneven breaths and I watched as he barreled forward and it took the simple kick of my leg to send him barreling through the air, landing with a loud curse into a heap on the ground. "You little—"

I didn't bother sticking around to hear anymore.

Cowardly, I knew. But I never claimed to be a courageous lion or anything. I wasn't some hero that knew pro moves and could kick ass with a snap of my fingers and without breaking a sweat. I was just a _girl_ that knew next to nothing about fighting or what to do when guys tried to take advantage of me. I was born in this puny, _minuscule_ village that didn't even know the definition of rape, much less knew what to do to fend off someone that was bent on doing it.

The only thing I knew was that I'd kill before I'd let someone else—much less a little girl—have to go through those horrors. Aoi didn't deserve that. Not saying that I did—but it was instinct, duty that I saved her. Call it my inner hero complex but it was the right thing to do. I could neve_r ever _live with myself if she got hurt. She was so innocent and pure… And so I ran—ran far from the spot where Aoi would be crouching. Ran from the spot I knew she'd be watching until she could flee when the coast was clear. And I could only hope that she'd get help before something happened to _me._

Not that something _was_ going to happen to me. Not if I could help it, that is.

There was a fork—two paths that I could take. One led to the "Northern Forest" and the other led to the parking lot. Hell no—I would _never_ go into the forest, that was just a death wish right there. Cars—cars were the way to go. I twisted my heels and sped closer to the parking lot, the round of another corner of the school—why the hell were there so many damn corners?!—and by the time I ran past, my head collided straight into solid fabric wall before I tumbled.

A groan of pain, the rustle of clothes and a loud curse and I rolled off, shaking off the stars that were flashing before my eyes. There were more of them. Damn! Getting ready to propel myself forward, I felt a hand grab my wrist and still winded from my running, I jerked away, "Don't touch me!"

Jumping to my feet, I instantly regretted it when my foot—still tender from the small sprain from playing volleyball—twitched and a jolt of pain shot up my leg. I whimpered and stabilized against the wall for support. "Hey, hey—you okay there?" His hand was on my shoulder and the other was gripping firmly on my forearm. I bit my lip and without even looking, I pulled back my arm and launched—

"OW! Damn—ow!"

"She got you bad, Tono," snickered a husky male voice, the sound of crunching feet coming closer. I closed my eyes, too tired to say anything and do more. Just—too, _too_ tired. "Who would've thought a small girl like her could have an arm like that?" The male voice continued.

Loud yells, the pounding of feet and my head jerked up in time for me to hear a loud crack in my neck. "Ew, that sounded gross, man. Sick, eh Tono?"

Loud pants and a groan, "Shut up, Tsubasa! I'm trying to remember to _breathe_ after that hit man. She hits _hard._"

"You—" I panted, resting my hands on my knees.

"She speaks! Wonder woman speaks!"

I looked up and glared at the two of them. "You _guys…_ are sick bastards! I swear if you guys touch me one more time, I swear to _God_ you will wish that you didn't because—"

"Where'd she go?!"

"Fat asses, I told you to follow her! Go, 'round the corner, she's there!"

My eyes widened and dread soon filled the emptiness in my stomach—I was _cornered_. Not to mention my legs were shaking like mad and in all honesty, I just wished that I was back in my yellow wall papered room in Nagoya, with Mr. Baa and all my stuffed animals. Damn—there was nowhere to run now, even if I _could_ run. At the moment, my knees were ready to buckle and I was trapped. Freakin' trapped.

"There!"

The three guys that started the chase were standing—more like looming in front of me with their chests heaving with their loud breaths and their faces red with sweat as dark patches of perspiration collected under their armpits and chests. Hair disheveled and eyes ablaze, all _five_ of them looked angry as hell and a five to one ratio didn't look good.

Not good at all.

"Were you three _chasing_ her?" I turned to see messy, black hair and furious frigid blue eyes—this tall boy with his clenched fists and slackened jaw, this boy…who was he to stand up for me?

"Like it's your business, ass!" sneered the biggest of the three.

"That seems like a yes to me, right Tono?"

I turned to see this _Tono _and I instantly regretted it. His cheek was turning an admirable shade of fuchsia melding almost into a darker shade of lavender and I felt bad admiring the reason my fist was _throbbing_ like mad._ Tono _didn't seem to notice it though because his purple eyes were hard—almost like the frigid ices of the Arctic icebergs and he all but swaggered toward the band of three. "Damn straight it was, Tsubasa."

"It's not like we were going to _touch_ her or anything!" one of them snarled defensively, one leg instinctively moving back.

My anger—which had dissipated along with my heavy breathing—peaked and red, once again, flashed before my eyes. "You have _guts_ to say that to me after what you did to that girl, you _bastards_! I could _kill_ you right now so slowly that you'd beg—"

"Shut up! If you weren't a girl—"

"What?" I hissed angrily, stepping forward—ignoring the jolt of pain that rippled through my leg muscles. "You'd hit me? Ha! Give it your best shot, buster! I'll even give you the first shot and you'd better hope that you knock me out cold because when I get up, your ass is mine!"

Arms wound around my waist and before I could whirl around and punch that person in the kisser— "Whoa, whoaa—you already hit me once, you've got to _calm _down and stand back. Your leg is hurt and Tsubasa and I can easily handle this—you just… stay put!" I glared at him and again, the image of the purpling bruise on his cheek made me nod helplessly.

He nodded, "Oh and _please_ don't hurt me anymore. This beautiful face can only take so much," he added as an afterthought.

I almost smiled.

* * *

_(Six minutes later…)_

"Wow, he's still going at it, eh?"

I was in awe. This guy that didn't even _know_ me was beating the crap out of the three perverts. It was three against one and they were already out cold and he was_ still _beating them. "Why isn't he stopping? They're already KO'ed," I turned beside me to look at Tono with curious eyes.

He shrugged. "Tsubasa and I both love girls—"

I glared at him.

"What? I'm just being honest!" he said defensively, holding up both hands in surrender. "We love girls but we never _ever_ force a girl to do anything. If anything, it's our unwritten rule that the girls come to _us_. Not that it's ever been a problem," he gestured at his face like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I couldn't help but agree—they were a handsome duo. Messy black hair, high cheekbones, strong jaw, straight nose and captivating eyes. Quite the lookers, they were.

"So when Tsubasa hears about guys taking _advantage _of girls, he goes ballistic," Tono explained. "He's gung ho about free women and man pride so he'll probably be beating the crap out of those three for maybe, ten more minutes? — Give or take," he shrugged.

He slung an arm over my shoulder and I quickly shrugged him off.

That didn't deter him.

"After all of this and we _still _haven't had a proper introduction—my name is Tonouchi Akira. You can go ahead and call me Tono-_sama,_" he smiled a charming smile and took my hand to place a small kiss on the back of it. "What's your name, Beautiful?"

I scooted a few feet away from him before sighing, "Though I'm grateful for all you've done for me—or rather, what Tsubasa-senpai is doing for me—I'd rather you didn't call me Beautiful or Lovely or anything like that."

His eyebrow rose and he chuckled musically, sending a shiver down my spine. "Ohh, so you're one of those modest, pretty girls, eh?" He chuckled once more, smiling a Cheshire smile. "—Tono _like_."

Before I could even comment at his statement (in the third person), his head snapped up and a smile broke across his face, "—Aoi-chan!"

"Thank God—" she cried, almost sobbing as she ran. "Thank _God_ you're okay!"

Tono furrowed his brow, "Why the hell wouldn't I be okay? Oh—are you talking about this bruise marring my handsome face? We-_llll_, Wonderwoman over here—that won't tell me her name, might I add—sucker punched me in the face and I really think I nee—"

"I wasn't talking about _you_, Tono-hentai," she all but snarled. "I'm talking about _her_, she _saved_ me!"

She launched herself into my arms and squealed with delight, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Oi, _oi… _Aoi, get off her—get off her, she sprained her ankle, dimwit."

She sprang away instantly. "Oh my gosh, I'm so, _so _sorry! First, I get you involved with those guys, then you sprain your ankle and then I smoosh it—I'm so sorry!" Aoi got up, dusted the dirt off my sweater and proceeded to dust the dirt off my legs, all the while chanting, "—sprained her ankle! Aoi, you idiot! — So sorry, I can't believe the luck! — Sprained her ankle because of you — wow…You have really, _really_ smooth legs — So sorry, I can't believe those guys, really! —"

Tono, who had gone to sulk in his little corner, instantly perked up, "Oh really? Well, I'll just have to have a feel and see for mysel — _smack! _— I was just kidding! For all the god's to hear, why am I the only one being slapped around here? Aoi, why don't you just slap your brother in the face over there! I already have a black eye, I'd rather not have an anthill on my head because of yo—"

"Brother? Whoaa, Tsubasa-senpai is your brother, Aoi?" I asked incredulously, ignoring and occasionally slapping Tono's hand that persistently tried to feel my legs.

She looked over her shoulder with a fond smile, "—Yup! But tell me, what's your name?! It may come as a surprise but I'd really like to know the name of the person that saved my life." She smiled charmingly and I noticed the adorable dimples in each of her cheeks.

_So cute!_

I rolled my eyes as she lifted me up to my feet and I limped slowly with her holding the brunt of my weight, "I didn't _save_ your life. I just happened to be running by at the time."

She rolled _her_ eyes and eyed me almost warily. I sighed, "Sakura—Mikan Sakura."

Tono wound an arm around my waist and looked over at Aoi, "You don't mean that do you? Did they come after you first?"

Aoi nodded solemnly before shining her bright, navy blues at me. "And it's thanks to Mikan-sama that I got away safely! You should've seen her, she kicked one of them _in the air_ and then practically threw another one across the field—it was absolutely _amazing_." She squealed and clung to my arm even tighter and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"—She's exaggerating."

Tono just smirked and looked over his shoulder, "Oi…! Tsubasa…! Put in a couple more minutes—it turns out your sister was their initial victim!" Tsubasa turned around, eyes narrowed at the sight of his sister and resumed his earlier practice—beating the crap out of the unconscious three.

I bit my lip. "I'm kind of worried. He's taking this a little far, don't you think?"

* * *

"My ankle doesn't hurt, you guys. I'm perfectly capable of walking on my own, thank you very much."

Tono-senpai (yes, even though he hit on me, I still considered him a senpai) had decided to put some ice on his black eye and that left Aoi and her brother, Tsubasa-senpai—supporting me as we made our way to my dorm. Even though I _did _persistently tell them I was capable by myself, Aoi here decided that she'd rather see me there herself than risk someone attacking a "_vulnerable woman_"_. _I told her that it wouldn't happen and she just shook her head and muttered something that sounded like "_they'll jump you!_ "

_Uh huh…_

"Nonsense, Mikan-sama! The least I can do is escort you to your room! Besides, knowing you for the little time I've gotten to know you, you're _never_ going to tell me your dorm number and I'll have to go through all of my contacts and make daddy make some phone calls and pull some strings to get your address so that I can deliver all of the—" she stopped herself and peered suspiciously at me from the corner of her eyes. Clearing her throat, "—all of the _stuff_ to your room!"

She giggled giddily and poked her brother in the ribs who was conveniently on my other side, my arm across the length of his shoulders. "Ne, Tsubasa-nii—you know what Mikan Sakura this is, _don't_ you?"

He rolled his eyes playfully, drawling, "I don't keep up with the gossip around this place, why don't you just tell me?"

She winked and said almost conspiratorially, "She's _the_ Mikan Sakura. Daughter of Yuka Sakura, my feminist _hero_ and rumour has it that she's dating our _dear_ Natsume-nii. Can you believe it?!"

Tsubasa's eyebrow rose and he smirked down at me viciously, "Oh, is that so? — Natsume's got taste, I'll admit," he laughed. "Well, maybe my brother isn't the gay that I thought he was, after all."

I laughed. "You guys can't always believe everything you hear," I said pointedly, "—Natsume and I are hardly dating and we're not even friends—acquaintances, more like."

Aoi hummed her disappointment as we neared my building. "Well, I guess Brother really _is_ gay. Did you know that he's never dated a girl? — Not ever!"

I froze and Aoi stopped her humming, "Mikan-sama, what's wrong?"

"Oh, no. Oh no, no, no, no, noo…!" I turned around to look at them both. "You're not related to Natsume Hyuuga, are you?! That arrogant, superficial, ice cream stealing, evil eye glaring, pain in the arse annoying bastard?!"

Aoi tried to stifle a laugh and Tsubasa merely smirked with suppressed delight. "That arrogant, superficial, ice cream stealing, evil eye glaring, pain in the ass annoying bastard—did I get it all?—Yeah, he's definitely my little brother. Hyuuga Tsubasa—" Tsubasa introduced playfully.

"Aoi Hyuuga!" Aoi chirped, holding me up. I was glad too because I was staggering with this new information. I couldn't _believe _that jerk was related to these…_BUBBLY people! _Natsume Hyuuga was _not_ bubbly and if he was, I'd kill him. My mind was still trying to wrap around that fact and I felt a major migraine bubbling at the surface. I shook my head.

"We're here," I choked weakly.

They both laughed at my expression and several knocks later, the door was thrown open and Hotaru was gazing at me through emotionless eyes. "You look like a train wreck."

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, something _every _girl wants to hear in the morning. Thanks for the ego-booster there, Hotaru," I snapped sardonically, hobbling to the couch. Aoi squealed and launched herself at my room mate. "Hotaru-sama! I haven't seen you in soo long! And now that you're Mikan-sama's room mate, let's hope I'll be seeing you_ both_ more often!"

She turned to me and bowed low at the waist, her waterfall of luscious black hair tumbled down along with her as she cried, "Thank you for saving me, Mikan-sama! I will deliver a formal thanks sometime this week! I've got school now so I have to go but thank you, thank you, _thank you_!" She righted herself and sent a charming smile my way before giving me another quick hug. With a chaste kiss on the cheek and a wave, she was gone.

Tsubasa lingered in the doorway, speaking in low whispers with a frowning Hotaru before he looked at me with the same charming smile as his sister. "I won't give you an ear full like that idiot but thanks—you know, for saving her and all. Expect a thanks from the whole Hyuuga family."

He nodded before I could say anything and left without another word.

Hotaru closed the door and sighed, sitting primly on the edge of the same couch as me as she rolled her fingers at her temple. Trying to massage away a headache, I guessed. She appeared to be deep in thought and I wasn't in a rush to answer her questions anyway, so I lay back against the surface of the couch and rested my eyes, thinking about what just happened and I couldn't _believe_ what had just happened. I don't know _how_ Aoi could just prance around a minute ago when something _atrocious_ could have happened to her … Was this a daily occurrence in the city or something? If it was, book me a flight to a rural area in San Francisco and I was there.

All of that running and screaming and _thinking_—or maybe not the thinking—really tired me out and once the initial adrenaline rush had left my body, I felt exhausted—practically boneless. I swear, if somebody poked me right now, I'd jiggle like jelly an—

"What were you _thinking?_"

I winced at the cold edge to her voice and squeezed my eyes tighter. "About what? About going on a run or about stalling those guys, huh? You can't tell me that I was wrong on either accounts, you know. It's not like I _knew_ that having a morning jog in the city would come to this and as for those guys—well that's pretty much self-explanatory."

She sighed and I felt her slump against the seat with a quiet groan. "How could you be so _stupid_?! Everyone knows you're supposed to bring a cell phone with you _every_ time you go out in the city. Especially alone! You're so _stupid_…!"

_Good advice…too late, though._

"Oh wow, well gee thanks for telling me that about two hours ago," I drawled sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I glared at the ceiling.

She sighed. "I'm not saying that it was wrong of you to go sweating outdoors because you saved _her_ but it would've been so much _easier_ if you had just brought your cell phone so that you could _call_ someone for help. Even though you're an idiot, I'd still be there if you needed me, you know," she said in a flat, uncaring voice.

"Thanks."

"Next time you want to jog or whatever you were doing, _tell_ me. I'll get someone to go with you."

"Like who—Sumire?" I snorted.

Before she could answer me, I asked a question of my own, "Why does Aoi call you Hotaru-sama? How do you know them so well?"

She shrugged her shoulders, emotionless velvet eyes looked deep within my own before she sighed. Running a tired hand through her hair, her voice monotone, "I'm her cousin."

I jolted upright and looked at her disbelieving. "What?! You mean—you're _cousins_?!"

"That's what I said, stupid."

"That means—that means you're—HOLY WATER AND SCOTTISH CHEESE—THAT MEANS—!"

There was a thump and a loud shriek before Sumire tore out of her room. Her long, dark green hair crackling with electricity as she sprinted over before pointing a chipped fingernail at the both of us, her eyes flaring when she snarled, "What the hell is up with you two?! And why the hell is Mikan covered in dirt?"

Ignoring her, Hotaru grunted, "Yes."

I gaped in shock. "Yes? Is that all you can say—_yes?!_"

Sumire grabbed my legs and tried to tug them off the coffee table, muttering something that sounded like, "We _eat_ there!"

I shrugged her away and grabbed Hotaru's shoulder, ignoring her look of distaste before I all but yelled, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE NATSUME HYUUGA'S COUSIN?!"

There was a loud thump.

Sumire passed out cold.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I just want you guys to take note that Mikan is _not _some super hero. She doesn't have super strength, she cannot kick ass, she doesn't know kung fu and she isn't brave and she isn't going to delude herself into being this perfect being. News flash: _In this story, don't expect Mikan to be perfect_**.** Let's be a little realistic here, shall we?

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	8. Not Myself

**Disclaimer:** Let's _pretend_ that I do own Gakuen Alice. Maybe if we pretend for long enough, it'll actually happen. —Sniffle— But I do own Kanako, Hinako, Éclair, Akimoto and those volleyball girls in Chapter Four!

**A/N: **Brace yourselves! Long chapter ahead!

* * *

_Would you want me when I'm not myself?  
_

_Wait it out while I am someone else?  
_

_And I, in time, will come around I always do for you _

_Suppose I said you're my saving grace?_

"_Not Myself" - **John Mayer**_

**Chapter Eight: Not Myself**

"You were Natsume-sama's cousin this WHOLE time?" Sumire all but shrieked, flailing her arms and punching pillows. "—You could have _set_ us up this WHOLE time!?"

Hotaru looked at her blandly, unwavering velvet eyes settled firmly on the loud green-haired beauty. Her lips were set into a thin line and her large eyes framed with mysterious black eyelashes twitched just the slightest to show her obvious irritation with the girl, but Sumire ignored it. Instead, Sumire settled her disbelief by pacing around the living room with wide eyes and a hand stroking her chin. "How the hell did I miss this? I know _everything _about the Hyuuga family—_everything_! How did I _not _know that the Imais were related to the Hyuugas? I don't believe it—you lie woman!" Sumire shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at Hotaru.

Hotaru rolled her eyes, "I don't have to explain anything to you. And stop with the barbarian talk."

"Permy, honestly," I sighed, already showered and dressed for school, "—why would Hotaru _want _to be Natsume's cousin? What would be her motive by lying about that?"

"Why not? Did you just ask, why _not_?!" she shrieked. She promptly walked up to me and lightly slapped my ankle, making my eyes sting with tears, "OW!"

"—I'll tell you why! The Hyuugas are the richest, most beautiful, most well known family in _Asia_! Why would you _not _want to be related to the Hyuugas? I would love to be related to the Hyuugas!"

I wrinkled my nose with disgust, rubbing my poor, swollen ankle and glared at Sumire but no matter how hard I worked my eye muscles, she still wasn't exploding off the face of the planet. "I thought you said you wanted to marry him? Now you say you want to be related to him?!" I gagged, "—That's incest, dear."

Hotaru smirked and Sumire just shrieked with disbelief.

* * *

"I hate that they keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat—those sick, perverted creeps," I mumbled harshly, limping alongside Hotaru and Permy. Honestly, it was like it was the first time that they'd seen a person limping or something! People limp all the time, dammit! What's so special about _me_ limping. And the _whispers_—they were the most annoying things I've ever heard of in my life! Stupid, twittering fools!

Eyes were boring into the back of my head and fingers pointed in my direction. I could hear Sumire growling at the lack of attention that she was getting but I didn't understand what _she _was complaining about. Tons of girls came up to us, pointing and laughing and making rather rude remarks but the look on Sumire's face and the look that _wasn't _on Hotaru's face made them all back away.

I could say that I didn't care about the _Ha! Looks like you got what you deserved, bitch! _and _Who did that to you? They should get an award!_ but really, who was I kidding? I was a _human_. I wasn't going to delude myself into believing that I didn't care about the things that they said. This was just another reason why I didn't like the city and high school for that matter—these people were downright _vicious_.

It had been sort of a surprise to see Ruka and Kitsuneme leaning against the wall outside of our dorms when we walked out—or in my case, limped. When asked about their appearance, Ruka said that he wanted to walk Hotaru to class and Kitsuneme said that he liked walking and we happened to have appeared when he had been _innocently_ strolling about. Ha! Lamest excuse on Earth! Someone sent them and I couldn't think of anybody that would do that. Or any reason _why _someone would do that. Kitsuneme didn't even _know _me. Don't ask how I knew that they were sent here on a mission. Call it my female intuition suddenly kicking in. Especially when they kept sneaking, worried or curious glances at me and snarled at anybody that called out rude remarks. Oh, and then there was the fact that Kitsuneme _said_ that someone had sent him on a mission . . . the idiot.

I shook my head and looked to my right to see Kitsuneme quickly turn his head, a hand to his hair and an innocent whistle from his lips. Uh huh. _Righhhtt._

Oh well, they could do whatever they wanted. It was a free world after all and their presence was a nice change. I could feel the pressure in my chest lessening the more we spoke. Kitsuneme had actually offered to take my backpack for me, which I thought was nice. It was great to be able to joke around and I thought it was awesome to have a little fun with all of the action that had happened earlier this morning.

We were all laughing when four people blockaded our path.

"What the _hell _do you want!?" Sumire snarled loudly, stomping one foot on the ground, cutting off all train of thought. I looked to my front and my stomach literally fell to my feet. If I thought this morning was nerve-wracking and scary, _this_ was a whole lot scarier.

Kanako, Hinako, Éclair and Luna.

This day just wouldn't stop getting better, huh?

"Well _that's _not a very nice greeting, Shouda-_san_," Luna sneered, crossing overly tanned arms. Red high heels, white mini skirt, hot pink tube top with a bathing suit bikini top underneath, tied up and around her neck. Three gold rings on each hand, silver bangles around her wrists and white sunglasses atop her head of sun-kissed blonde hair. She even had a _huge_ black purse with weird _G_'s and question marks spattered on it and her skin was evenly dark beige. It was pretty obvious that she spent too much time in the tanning booths.

I watched as she glanced at my leg, a huge smile gracing her lips and I instantly cursed myself for propping it up to alleviate the pressure. I scowled at her.

"Oh! Sakura, what a _shame_. It looks like you won't be playing volleyball in Gym class today, huh?" she asked haughtily, pushing one of her hips out. "I guess that's a good thing because if you didn't work out so much, you might actually look _good_. Even with your . . . hand me downs, are they?"

All four of them cackled, flipping back their hair and fanning themselves with their hands. In Luna's case, she had a page-girl that fanned _for _her. I know, sounds unreal eh? Well, believe it. I wouldn't lie about these things, there'd be no point and most importantly, I _despise_ it when females stoop so low. It's disgusting, really. Suck ups and users—it just makes me sick.

"Yeah, you said it Luna," chorused Kanako and Hinako.

"I think she looks _hot_," Kitsuneme chirped, shrugging my backpack further onto his shoulders. He flashed me a naughty grin and winked playfully and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

That idiot.

"Oh—well isn't that just soooo _sweet_. You've got your _friends_ saying that you're pretty. In high school language, that means that they _pity_ you," Luna drawled, looking at her nails.

"Yeah," Éclair put in. "—And you know, the only reason Natsume-sama tolerates you is because he feels so _bad _for you. Maybe it's because he's never seen a girl so ugly and _not_ pretty!"

Hotaru muttered something that sounded like, "—One more word and I will kill somebody." But I wasn't quite sure because Ruka smirked and took her hand. She didn't say any more.

Sumire sighed and shook her head as if she was talking to a child. "You know, if you actually had a _brain _and didn't follow this bitch around like a lost puppy, people would like you more. And besides—" she stopped and smirked evilly, looking at her own nails, "—I doubt Natsume-sama pities _us_. You four are the ones that he has to ward off with a stick. We heard about your _arrest_ from the soccer grounds the other week. Sources say that you were led _kicking and screaming_ from the field under his watch—by the equipment boys, no less."

Luna blushed almost prettily before she pointed a long, manicured finger into Sumire's chest to which she slapped away with a snarl. Undaunted, Luna hissed scathingly, "Your sources are _wrong_. We were nowhere _near _the soccer tryouts." She smirked, "But I heard you were. Imai's selling pictures of them, aren't you Imai? Kept a few for yourself to hide under your pillow for those lonely, _lonely_ nights, huh?"

She turned to smile prettily at Ruka, touching his shoulder. "You know, Ruka-kun. It's not too late to leave her and come back to the better side. The four of us will welcome you back with _open_ arms."

His expression cool and his voice even, Ruka replied by snaking his arm around Hotaru and pulling her close, "—The better side? I'm sure you've got all of this turned around. And the last place I'd want to be is where you are."

She leaned back almost like she got slapped and I could see Permy openly trying to hide her snickers behind her hand. Instead, Luna brushed her hair away from her face, as the other three straightened out their clothes and pulled their purses higher onto their arms and shoulders. "Well, that's not very nice is it, Ruka-kun? No matter, I'm sure she's just got you under a temporary charm and you'll drop her faster than last year's Chanel glasses."

She waved off his attempt to retort and instead, narrowed her eyes back to me and I squared my shoulders, glaring right back. "You know what, Luna? You really have some _guts,_ you know that? Who do you think you are? You are _unbelievable_. I don't know _what _the heck is wrong with this school and_ what _the other girls see in you but what you do makes me sick to my stomach and if you think you can ju—"

"Girls like you truly are pathetic, you know," Luna cut in, turning up her nose. "—Girls like you that wear no branded clothes, that dirty her mother's name and money, that has a dead father and that has no place in this world have a specific category in this school. Girls that are self-righteous and are so damn trustworthy that they're _blind_. This isn't something from a book, Sakura," Luna sneered, gesturing at my large backpack. "This isn't some fairytale where the good girls have a happy ending. This is reality, sweetie. Reality is an ugly place for someone so innocent. Don't think you can trust just anyone in this school, Sakura. It's a dog eat dog world and only those on top make it out alive. You, sweetie. You're not going to make it in this school. You're right at the bottom. You can even go and have a guess at what that category is at the bottom of the food chain. Go on_—guess_. Here's a little hint—you're lower than sewer water._"_

Angry tears stung the back of my eyes as I glared at her as hard as I could. And if I had some type of power to blow her off the face of the planet by glaring enough, I would have done it because she just _pissed_ me off to no end. I don't give a damn about the fact that my clothes don't meet her standards or what she thinks of me as a person but the way she mentioned my _father _just made hating her so much easier. Anna and Nonoko were right that first time I saw her—Luna was a ruthless bitch. She didn't deserve second chances.

Luna pasted a fake sympathetic look on her face before putting a hand to the side of her mouth to whisper, "—You're scum, darling. Right next to the pathetic little nerds and those that commit suicid—"

Sumire lunged and from out of nowhere, _Koko_ and Kitsuneme grabbed both of her arms and kept her back. Luna seemed undaunted, she didn't even _try _to take a step back. Instead, she laughed openly. "Keep your dog on a leash, Sakura."

I was bristling, I was so angry. I hated her even more than the bastards that had tried to get Aoi this morning. She was just as bad as them and I was so _furious_ that she had the _guts _to go so far in our little fight to stoop so low as to diss me by using my dead dad. That's the type of person she was—she was the type of her person that kicked somebody when they were already down.

To be expected from her, of course.

She sneered and turned away, ushering her posse with her, swaying her hips and winking at some guys that were walking by and I couldn't take it anymore.

"They have a category for you too, you know," I hissed quietly, glaring at the back of her head as she stopped. "They have a category for girls that flaunt around school, hiking up their skirts and acting stupid. Girls that spend their lives devoted to looking at the mirror and cooing at themselves when in reality, that's not what they actually want to do. Girls that have frenemies but never any friends_. _Girls that would do anything to get the guy by wearing clothes that practically aren't there in the first place just so that they can stay on top of what? The food chain? You are one of the people that act one way in public and another way behind closed doors— you're unreal. Someone full of nothing but lies," I breathed deeply. "—You wanna take a guess at what it is?"

Sumire cut in before anything else could be said, "—Disgusting little whores."

Luna bristled and I swear I heard a quiet shriek from one of her friends but I truly didn't know. My ears were ringing and my heart was beating like crazy. It was beating so hard, in fact, that my ribs started to ache and I was scared that my heart would explode out of my chest. And it wasn't until Luna harrumphed and walked away, did my heart gradually slow down.

Hotaru's eyebrow rose and she looked down at me with an unreadable expression and I couldn't help but shrink at her gaze. "I didn't mean disgusting little whores, Permy. I was about to call her a fake."

Sumire shrugged out of Koko and Kitsuneme's hold and sent them glares, "Mikan, God! You're too nice for your own good. Fake? Come on—that's elementary school! You have to bring out the big guns in high school and start using the 'W' word. Plus, your description just _screamed_ whore and you know it."

"Well, I didn't _mean_ for it to sound like that. I meant to call her a fake from the beginning," I wrung my hands and glared at the ground. "Nobody is born into the world acting like that. She _chooses_ to be like that and it just makes me feel sorry for her."

Koko grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, "Now _that_ was tense. I've never seen Luna told like that before. She'll be moody for the_ whole _day." He snickered and started walking, "—I can't _wait_ to see what happens in English!"

I groaned and from my right, I heard Ruka ask, "Were you actually watching us during soccer tryouts?"

Hotaru snorted and glared at him. "Of course we were."

"Did you actually take pictures?"

"Of course," she said calmly as if this was a regular occurrence, "—I have cameras installed everywhere. There's no scene I _don't_ capture."

"You scare me sometimes, Hotaru," Ruka admitted after a slight pause. She lifted an eyebrow before glancing at the hand on her waist pointedly and Ruka stuttered an apology before extracting his hand away from her waist, instantly flushing red.

Sumire and Koko—where did he come from?—were bickering. Mainly Permy shouting and Koko retorting with two word answers as they walked and all of a sudden, a wave of nausea hit me. I didn't feel well at all. I just didn't feel the need to go to classes today. I was drained from everything that had happened: the running, the yelling and the punching this morning. The limping, the anger and the 'conversation' with Luna. All of it just exhausted me.

"Hey, Kitsuneme, I think I'm just going to take my bag and take the morning off." I rubbed my eyes and my head pounded within the confines of my skull and it felt like it'd explode if I went to Math and Gym.

"You can't leave," Permy shrieked, blockading the path with her hands on her hips and a fierce expression on her face. "You can't! You can't just have this fight with Luna and _not_ come to class. That's just _admitting_ that she won and I'll be damned before she wins anything if we're in it!" She stomped as if that proved her point and I just didn't have the strength to argue with her.

"We're not competing with Luna in anything, alright? I'm exhausted, angry and I just want to spend some time alone or I'll explode!"

"Oh wah, wah Mikan. I'm playing the smallest violin for you right now," she snapped sarcastically, putting her fingers together and pretending she was playing a small violin. "—Honestly, my heart is just _wrenching_ for you but you have to face it and grow up—this is _high school_. Get used to it."

"She's right," Hotaru replied evenly, piercing velvet eyes watching me. "—You can't just run away because of this. From the looks of it, this won't be the last time Luna comes itching for a fight, you know."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not stupid. I knew exactly what I'd gotten myself into when I accidentally hit her in Gym class. She's just the type of person that believes in the phrase, _it's either you're with us or against us_. And right now, there's no room for questioning that I'm against her."

I looked at them all pointedly, "—And I'm _not_ running away. I'm just taking a break. I think I deserve at least _that_ much after all that's happened today."

"You can't miss English!" Permy protested heatedly.

Koko nodded and a bright smirk lit his face, "Yeah, it's going to be one hell of a class and I'm sure you won't want to miss it. Plus, History isn't any fun without you."

He pouted.

Again, I rolled my eyes and took my backpack from Kitsuneme. "I didn't say that I'd be missing afternoon classes, you dolts. If you listened hard enough, I clearly stated that I'd be missing morning classes. Math with Jinno is hell with Hyuuga already and Gym is pointless when there's no way I can move much with this leg. I didn't say _anything_ about skipping English and I don't have any intention on missing it for the world."

They all smirked in unison, the boys high fiving as Hotaru and Sumire shared identical grins. And even I had trouble keeping the smile off my face.

* * *

_( Quite some time later . . . )_

Clouds were a curious thing.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that they were kind of cute . . . being all fluffy and whatnot. They varied from blinding whites to dreary greys but it didn't matter what colour they were because they didn't take crap from anybody. They moved at their own speed, comfortably drifting along the blue skies painting scruffy pictures in the sky.

Too bad it was caused by pollution.

I closed my eyes just as the clouds uncovered the sun, bit by bit and reveled in the warm feeling that engulfed my face. I knew I looked out of place, laying on the school's soccer field with my arms and legs thrown every which way but I pushed the thought away. Everyone was in class and the few moments of peaceful silence were very much welcomed.

A shadow blocked the sunlight covering my face and before I could even open my eyes, a gruff voice from above snapped, "—What the hell are you doing?"

It was a deep, husky voice like rolling thunder that sent a shiver down my spine. And if there wasn't that hint of annoyance and cool indifference, I would've been thrown off by the sexiness of it. Then again, there was hesitance and snark in his voice, too.

Definitely Natsume.

I rolled my eyes underneath my eyelids and didn't bother shuffling to my feet in embarrassment. I didn't really care about what he thought of me. Our relationship was complicated that way. Then again, we didn't really have much of a relationship to begin with. I remembered what I'd told Aoi and Tsubasa this morning—we were just acquaintances, nothing more. I knew, after the few seconds that passed, that he was probably wondering if I'd gotten heat stroke while under the sun by the irritation that practically rolled off his warmth like electricity.

"I was appreciating the beauty of nature until you ruined the picture," I supplied blandly, knowing that my voice betrayed my obvious amusement. "What do you want, Hyuuga?"

He ignored me and the rustle of his clothes alerted me of his movement. "Why weren't you in class," he shot back coolly.

"I'm pleasantly surprised you'd like to know, Natsume. You've never seemed to be the type that would harp about going to classes, you know." I sighed blissfully when he'd moved away and the sun, once again, warmed my face.

"Are you sick?"

I tried not to show my surprise and confusion, hoping that my voice sounded even. "Not that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?"

To my annoyance, he didn't skip a beat before saying, "—it was either that or PMS so I guess you're being visited by Aunt Flo, huh?" There was a hint of playfulness in his voice but I was too busy snapping my eyes open, bolting up and blushing crimson to really care. Stupid, cheeky bastard. "You're impossible! Why do you always end up making those snide remarks?!"

He wasn't facing me, but turned away and I was infinitely aware of two things as I glared at him. Two things. The first was that he had a notebook under his arm and a manga in the back pocket of his pants. The second was that he was a good five or six inches taller than me, had a slight tan and had one hell of a profile.

Jerk.

"You know, if you decided one day to leave those snarky remarks in the closet, I'd think that you'd actually be a pretty decent guy. But as it is, you are a hopeless, arrogant, moronic, chauvinistic pig!" I huffed, stomping my foot and ignoring the electric shock that followed up my leg.

He turned his head and I was instantly rooted to the spot at the _smirk_ on his face. He was _smirking _at me! And oddly enough, I wondered why I was surprised. His right eyebrow was quirked as the look of amusement flitted across his face but he quickly sobered up, the mask taking its rightful place. Cool and relaxed though his body was still tense as could be, he shot a bored glance my way. "Here are the notes that you missed in class," he threw over the notebook and it immediately fell open to well kept notes written in elegant script. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I was shocked beyond repair as I flipped through the notebook. There were five pages of notes. _Five!_

He took five pages of notes for me?

"T-That—" I cleared my throat and looked up at his cool expression in surprise. "That was really kind of you, Natsume. Totally unnecessary, but kind. You really shouldn't have gone through all of the trouble."

He nodded his head and a smirk spread across his face that I didn't understand. He turned around and started away before he stopped and called over his shoulder, "—I actually paid someone else to do it."

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help the smile from spreading across my face. "I didn't need to know that, you know."

"I can't let you go around school telling everyone about this," he shrugged with a wry grin on his face. "Are you coming or what?"

"Ohh, I see. So it's all about your precious bad boy reputation, huh?" I sneered, pulling my backpack off the ground to sling over my arm and brushing the grass from my clothes. "I bet if the girls heard you did this, they'd start bowing down and confessing their love for you." I laughed and rolled my eyes at the frown on his face. "Not that they don't do that anyways. I'm just saying, if you're worried about your fans leaving you, this wouldn't do the trick, so _relax_."

As I started walking, hoping that it didn't look like I was limping, by his side, I glanced over in time to see a dark scowl on Natsume's face. His face held an expression that looked like he'd just inhaled something putrid and I couldn't help but snicker. "Akimoto is the bastard that worries about that. I don't give a damn about - " I swear he shuddered at this point before _growling _one word. " F_ans_."

His growl just made me laugh harder.

"Mood swings," he muttered darkly, sending a glare that screamed DEATH, right at me.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "Oh, if you were in my shoes, I'm sure you'd laugh too."

His eyes darkened even more, if possible. What? Was the idea of me having fanboys that impossible?

I shook my head and assumed he had other things on his mind so instead of asking about the expression on his face, I looked around as I moved my backpack further on my shoulder. "Umm . . . hey Natsume? Where are we? I don't recognize this area of the school . . . "

When he didn't answer, I took a peek from the corner of my eyes and noted the look of displeasure on his face. What the heck? What was _wrong_ with him? From the back of my mind, I felt the faint whine from my stomach and the image of a cheeseburger instantly popped up, followed by a huge _Reese_ cup. I guess he noticed me still staring because all of a sudden, he stiffened and glared at me over his shoulder, "Since we're both skipping class, we might as well get something to eat," he replied smoothly, raking a hand through his silky, black hair. "Fine with you?"

I blinked. Again, what the heck is _wrong_ with him!? There had to be some kind of catch to this. He'd probably eat a load of food and end up _going to the bathroom_ so that I'd be the one stuck with the cheque. That arse. I narrowed my eyes at the back of his head and inconspicuously patted my pockets to make sure my wallet was there. The square bulge in the pockets of my jeans sent a wave of relief through me.

He had another thing coming, that much was for sure.

"Yup, it's fine with me," I chirped. I hoped the wicked grin that I was trying to suppress didn't look too creepy. But by the time he turned his head to look at me, I could tell by the blank look on his face that he suspected something.

Damn.

"I suppose you have a place in mind, hm?" I asked and with his affirmative nod, we walked right into a —

Burger joint.

McDonald's to be exact.

Oh.

Well that changed things.

He smirked viciously and held the door open. "You didn't think we'd go out to some fancy ass place, did you?" he asked bluntly. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile on my face from spreading. "Actually, I've been thinking about a huge, juicy cheeseburger all day," I smirked back as I stepped into the fast food joint.

The wave of heavenly french fries hit my nose full throttle and I almost fainted from the lovely smell. Who cares about that Super Size Me video in health class! This place was heavenly, if only once in a while!

"Stop drooling and order something, Polka."

I glared condescendingly at the aloof expression on Natsume's face and stepped up to the vacant spot to order a Double Cheeseburger meal and moved aside for the jerk. He ordered_ two_ Double Cheeseburgers (emphasizing the two, of course), a large fries and a large soft drink, smirking at me _again a_nd I was tempted to order _three_ burgers just to see what he'd do but I didn't want to buy what I knew I couldn't finish.

"Your total is 14.89, sir. Would you like some ketchup and sweet and sour sauce with your order?" I smiled at the girl that didn't look even a bit interested in Natsume and before he could answer, I whipped my head to the door and yelled, "Whoa, look Natsume! There's a huge dead chicken in the garbage!"

"Hn."

He didn't look the least bit interested as he reached for his wallet from his thick, black leather jacket and I bit my lip before stepping in front of him, quickly taking my wallet out of my pocket and swiping the total on my mom's card. I smirked victoriously and grabbed my tray before walking to an open table by the window, plopping down on the chair.

"What the hell was that?" he growled, slamming his tray down on the table. His eyes were blazing as he practically ripped off his leather jacket and threw it on the chair next to him. I shamelessly let my gaze linger on the newly exposed, smooth flesh of his arms. Sumire's delighted face immediately popped into my mind.

I cleared my throat and popped a fry into my mouth. "Nothing. In fact, I don't even know what you're talking about, Natsume."

He narrowed his eyes, hurriedly unwrapping a burger and taking a huge bite. It didn't even look like he was chewing the thing. He just kepting biting and swallowing, biting and swallowing—looking pissed, of course.

And oddly enough, I was mesmerized.

"Stop looking at me."

"Right, sorry."

I shook my head and took a lazy bite out of my burger, looking out the window, taking note of the lack of students wandering around campus. The more I thought about it, I was glad. Having lunch with Natsume Hyuuga would only add fuel to the gossip in this school. Speaking of which, from the corner of my eye, I glanced furtively at the guy and couldn't keep the smile off my face.

He looked _miserable_. Maybe not pathetically miserable but definitely down in the dumps and I didn't know why I felt so _good_.

"What's up with the sore face, Hyuuga?" I quirked an eyebrow nonchalantly and took another bite out of my burger, almost choking when he glared at me.

"Why do you do that all the time?" he growled darkly, narrowing his eyes and leaning back, taking a swig out of his straw.

I frowned, "—Do what?"

He rolled his eyes and pointed a fry at me, "That thing where your lips move and sounds come out."

I narrowed my eyes and chucked a fry, almost hitting him in the eye if he hadn't tilted his head to the side. He smirked wickedly before I kicked him from underneath the table, "_Hyuuga . . . _"

"_That. _That's what I'm talking about. One moment you call me Hyuuga and the next, it's Natsume. Just stick to one of them. It gets annoying when you switch on and off like that," he glowered.

"Do I care that it's annoying for you?" I asked sharply, taking a slurp from my Pepsi. "—because I find it annoying that you call me _Polka _which has no reference whatsoever with my actual name," I gave him a pointed glare before throwing a fry into my mouth. "Besides, what's so bad about calling you by your name?"

"Hn," he shrugged smoothly. "Do what you want," he murmured. _He didn't even answer the question._

I didn't bother hiding the triumphant grin on my face as I took a huge swig from my drink before throwing back all of the fries into my awaiting mouth, relishing the wonderful taste. Once again, I almost choked when I noticed Natsume's unwavering gaze on me. I didn't know how to decipher the look in his eyes. He looked almost angry and disgusted with himself.

I was just about to make a snide remark about it when he cut me off.

"—Thanks . . . for this morning," he managed to choke out, turning his head to look out the window with his lips pressed into a firm line. He looked almost _distraught_ but by the time I managed to blink in surprise, his cool, indifferent expression was camouflaging it with perfection. If it weren't for the fist clenched tight on the table, tight enough to get his knuckles to whiten, I would've been fooled into thinking that he didn't have troubles saying those four words at all. As it was, however, I smiled.

Ahh! So that's why he looked so disgusted. He was figuring out how to say _thanks._

I laughed inwardly, _How interesting._

I cleared my throat, my eyes focused on the designs of the drink as I fingered the napkin on my tray, "It's just a good thing she's safe."

Abruptly, he pushed his chair back with an audible squeak and grabbed his leather jacket. "Are you done yet? Third period will end in a few minutes and English will start soon," he said impatiently, completely avoiding eye contact. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Just four words could make him so _flustered_. I was suddenly glad that I wasn't the only one getting flustered around here.

"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming!"

He turned to leave but I grabbed his arm to stop him which only made him glower darkly. "Hey! You're supposed to throw your garbage away, you jerk!"

He rolled his eyes. "The workers get paid to clean up around here. Who am I to do their job?"

I glared but he was unmoving and unaffected.

"Fine!" I hissed, picking up both of our trays in each hand and walking to the garbage. Since I had no hands to pull down the lever, I glared at him pointedly with which he returned with ease. In any case, with a scowl on his face, Natsume reluctantly walked over and pulled the lever down so hard, I was surprised the lever didn't break in his hands.

I ran/limped with my backpack as fast as I could to get away from the furious, madman behind me.

* * *

"I'll say this one last time. Get on the bike."

"And I'll say this one more time—**No**!" I snapped back, ignoring the murderous look on his face, crossing my arms.

He cracked his knuckles. "Get on the frickin' bike, Polka."

"I thought you said you were saying it for the last time—"

"—Sakura!"

I put both of my hands up in a truce and fought the smile off of my face, freezing at the sight of his icy glare. "Don't bite my head off, jerk!"

"Get on the damn bike," he snapped back, ripping my backpack from my hands and stuffing it into the compartment at the back of his bike. "And don't be a smart ass about it."

"I'd prefer it if you'd call me wise crack, not smart ass."

He sighed and looked like he was thinking about whether or not to wring my neck. "I'm not going to crash my motorcycle just to kill you," he said dryly, with a hand in his pocket.

"Oh really? By the way you were practically _snarling_ at me, it gave me the opposite impression," I sneered with a roll of my eyes at the glint of malice in his. "Besides, I want to walk and that's what I'm going to do!"

He shrugged and drawled, "It's your head. Narumi has a . . . _special _way to punish those that are late." He shuddered almost unnoticeably and turned his steely eyes on me. "One last chance. Are you getting on or not?"

_What kind of punishment could Narumi possibly give?_

A vision of a pink dress with lace and frills popped into mind and instantly, a shiver ran up my spine. Narumi wasn't _that_ mean. Sure, he liked dressing up every class and skipped around all day but he wouldn't do something like _that_, would he? I narrowed my eyes at the death contraption that was Natsume's motorcycle and my mouth immediately went dry. Narumi's punishment was _not_ worth my life. I was NOT going to get on that, no matter what.

"I'm _walking_," I repeated.

. . . _No matter what._

He shrugged with a nonchalant rise of his eyebrow and got onto his motorcycle, kicking it to life. A soft purr replaced the loud gunning that I was expecting. Okay, sure. So he looked cool on the bike—that didn't mean that it was anymore safe than holding a time bomb with a randomized time. I nodded to myself and started walking.

It didn't look too far. I could see the building just fine, actually. There was probably a block to walk, a huge field and a parking lot to walk through. No big deal. I could make that in . . . damn, I had eight minutes. With this foot. And that cramp. No problem, I was still okay. No sweat.

Speed walking was the answer. So what if grannies did that? It didn't make me a gra—

The pressure against my stomach knocked the breath out of me and the rough brush against the back of my knees knocked me off of my feet. The world spun and a whoosh of air in my belly made me feel like I was flying. I closed my eyes, letting a squeak of surprise escape from my lips until my butt hit something hard and the words, "Don't move" were whispered into my ear from a deep, husky male voice.

And before I knew it, I was being pushed roughly into Natsume's body from the strong winds as we propelled forward and I couldn't help clutching desperately onto his leather jacket and pleading something that sounded like, "Don't you dare jump off and leave me on this thing!"

I could feel the rumble of laughter that reverberated from his body, through his jacket and into my fingertips and when I looked up, he was smirking down at me with gorgeous red eyes. "Keep your damn eyes on the road!" I shrieked, tightening my grip on his jacket. I tried some breathing exercises to slow down my racing heart but by the way I was draped over the bike with both of my legs to one side, I couldn't help envisioning unpleasant ways that I could fall off the thing.

I inhaled deeply, fisting his jacket with ardour. "When I get off this thing, I'm going to throw a whole bunch of dead chickens at you, buster!" I yelled, burying myself into his jacket. His chest shook with silent laughs and I pounded a fist against his chest. He smelled delicious—something musky that was distinctly masculine and almost addictive. He took a sharp turn and I instantly rammed against one of his arms that were caging me on the bike and to my embarrassment, a keening, pathetic cry of fear was torn from my lips as I pushed myself as far away from his body as possible without releasing the death grip I had on his jacket.

I was distinctly aware of how much I was trembling and the fact that he was _laughing_ at me. "If I lose my shoes because of this, you are a dead man," I growled angrily.

"Didn't I say that I wasn't going to kill you on this?" his voice rumbled from his chest and into the pads of my fingers, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

My eyes were watering from the blurring scenery and the pounding wind brushed viciously against my eyes. Closing them, acutely aware that I was completely vulnerable, I felt the breeze whip my hair from its ponytail and I frowned, "Vaguely. That doesn't mean that I trust you!"

"Lighten up, Sakura. Enjoy the speed and adrenaline for once in your life," he drawled lazily and with a flick of his wrist, the purr of his motorcycle gunned and the speed quickened. I smashed my eyelids down harder.

"Oh God," I moaned, "—I'm on a motorcycle with a madman."

He laughed and I hid the smile from his view. "Look," he murmured.

I panicked, "No! You're just going to pretend to run us into a ditch just so I'll scream!"

I could almost see him rolling his eyes, "Stupid, we're here."

I scrambled to get my hands off of his jacket, which proved to be quite difficult since my fingers seemed to be glued to the soft leather, and bounded to me feet, resisting the urge to bow down to the ground and kiss the parking lot cement. "Thank God!" I breathed, glaring at him from his perch on his bike. He kicked down the kickstand and dismounted, pulling my backpack from the back compartment and extracting a lone binder.

"I could sue you for harassment or abduction, you know," I thought I should point out, lifting my chin up to look him dead in the eye. His eyebrow rose and he stuffed a hand into his pocket.

"Are you _threatening _me?" he asked smoothly, walking toward the school.

"I'm _informing_ you never to do that _ever_ again! Who knows how long you've been driving on that thing for! Given the fact that we can't even begin to drive until we hit fifteen, you haven't been driving for more than a year, tops!"

"Seven months. And if I pass, I'll be able to start driving a car after my birthday in November," he drawled, walking ahead and looking around. After a pause, he darted a boyish grin over his shoulder and drawled, "Besides . . . you liked it."

I froze mid-step and anger flashed before my eyes. "How the hell do you know what I like?! Of course I didn't like it! Being kidnapped against my will isn't my idea of fun, you know!"

He rolled his eyes. "You have a funny way of showing that when you're clinging onto me like a koala and pressing yourself against me," he replied smoothly, a handsome smirk on his face. An eyebrow rose and ruby eyes flashed, "Am I wrong?"

"Oh, well I don't _know_," I screeched sarcastically, throwing up my hands. "If somebody picks you up from behind and throws you onto a motorcycle, I think holding on for dear life while the madman exceeds all speeding limits and pulls deathly turns is the logical thing to do!"

Our classroom was near and I stepped in front of him to glare and probe his hard chest with a finger. "And I'd appreciate it if you would stop thinking that everything I do has a motive! I don't _like _you, Natsume. I don't think I ever will and you know what? I know for a fact that you don't like me either! So stop trying to get me all flustered. I know it's some form of your sick amusement but I won't stand for it!" I breathed angrily, looking at him dead in the eyes. "If you want to be friends, then fine! We'll be friends but don't think for one second that I'm doing anything to get to you because I'm not that kind of girl, Natsume. If you're looking for that type of girl, Luna's just on the other side of the door!"

I huffed and wrenched the door of the classroom open and abruptly, the ruckus stopped as if the world had just gone mute. Heads turned to the blonde girl in the middle of the room and small whispers started to circulate. I darted a quick glance at Hotaru who quickly shook her head, then to Sumire who made a circular motion with her hands, pointing to the door. I wondered if she was going insane. Instead, I cocked my head to the side and saw Permy slap a hand to her forehead, a look of utter misery flashed before her eyes.

I could almost make out the _What the hell is wrong with you!?_ expression on her face as she once again, made a motion for me to turn around and look at the door.

As fast as the classroom had silenced, chaos ensued even faster. Shouts of incomprehensible questions and rambunctious declarations flew through the air and I realized why. Narumi had stepped out of the room and at the moment, the classroom was being ruled by the students. From the corner of my eyes, Sumire had shrunk low in her seat. Koko and Ruka looked like someone had just punched them in the gut and Hotaru—she could've actually been the one to deliver the blows. Her expression was blank and flawless as always but her eyes spelled murder.

Someone clapped their hands and I darted my gaze to the middle crowd where Kanako and Hinako had their hands together. The class instantly silenced.

Luna cleared her throat and smiled charmingly in our direction. "So it seems the lesbian has the guts to come to class after all," she sneered in her sugary sweet voice. Luna tossed her waterfall of blonde hair over her shoulder and adjusted her sunglasses over her eyes. "There's been this nasty, nasty rumour in school about you, darling. It seems your secret is out, huh?"

I blinked in surprise and looked up at Natsume. "Hey, Natsume? Aren't you going to do something? Luna's calling you a lesbian, you know . . . "

A couple of laughs erupted and I frowned, asking him with my eyes what the heck was going on. He looked down at me, bored and gave me a pointed look. "I'm talking to you, Sakura!" Luna shrieked, straightening up and running to hug Natsume. "Oh, Natsume-kun! You know I'd _never_ do that to you and I _know_ you're not gay! You're way too hot for that!"

I frowned and turned to her. "Why are you calling _me_ a lesbian?"

She winked at Natsume, grabbing his arm and turned to send a sugary, sympathetic smile at me. "Oh, I thought you were _smart_. You know . . . you and Shouda should really watch where you guys kiss in public. There are eyes _everywhere_ in this place!"

There was a flurry of whispers and disgusted looks shot in my direction and I shrank back, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. "That's not true! Sumire and I are _not_ lesbians! We're friends and God knows that she drools at every boy that walks by!"

"Yeah!" Sumire called loudly, glaring at anybody that dared to declare otherwise.

"Oh, you two!" Luna batted her eyelashes. "There's no need to be _ashamed_. Profess your love for one another already! It'd be a shame to have to hide what you feel when you're in public. Go on . . . _kiss _and tell the world about it_. _It's high time you came out of that closet of yours."

I couldn't believe my ears. The word _kiss _was being chanted over and over by Kanako and Hinako and in a matter of seconds, the classroom was bellowing loudly. Arms were pushing me and Sumire toward each other and Hotaru watched helplessly—at least I was hoping she was _trying_ to help, at least— from the back of the class.

I didn't dare touch her and likewise, she didn't make any moves. Of course, leave it to Luna to tower us with a victorious sneer on her face before whispering, "Kiss her."

"Luna, you've got this all wrong and you know this rumour isn't true! Why are you feeding more fuel to the flames?!" I hissed angrily, fighting the urge to slap that pretty, cruel smile off her face. She leaned closer toward my ear and a sinister chuckle escaped from her parted lips. "I do it because I _can_, sweetie," she giggled quietly so that Sumire and I could hear. "And because you _humiliated_ me today. Just take this as step one of my revenge, darling. I told you not to cross me—I warned you but that didn't keep you from interfering with my _life_. Now if you apologize to me in public, move or stay away from my Natsume, I might just feel inclined to spare you further social suicide, hm?"

She smiled cruelly with a hint of false sympathy. "Or would you rather continue your _I-am-super-girl_ act and deal . . . ?"

I trembled angrily and glared at her with so much force that even _she_ had to take a small step back. "This rumour is a lie, Luna! And you _know _it," I hissed rapidly, clenching and unclenching my hands. She leaned for forward a little bit, almost unnoticeably and spoke words meant only for our ears.

"Of course I know, silly," she whispered, pulling back slightly to stand beside her posse of friends. "—I'm the one that started it, after all."

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	9. Out of My Head

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice. I don't own the dot. I don't own the author. Honey, I don't own squat. Except for the strange things that happen in this story and my OC's including Luna's avid followers, the volleyball girls and Akimoto Hitoshi.

**Disclaimer again: **I don't own the Beauty and the Beast dialogue. Nor do I own the Romeo and Juliet dialogue. I borrowed them from internet sites. :) Merci beaucoup!

* * *

_I must be out of my head,_

_It must be something I said,_

_So come on I'll waste my life._

_You think I'm out of my head,_

_But I'm romantically dead_

_So come on I'll waste my life on you. _

_"Out Of My Head" — **Mobile**_

**Chapter Nine: Out Of My Head**

"Take your seats everyone! English Literature is awai-_tingggg_!!" sang the tell tale voice of our wondrous English teacher. I whipped my head around to stare at him incredulously and he finally seemed to notice the electricity in the room because he had a puzzled expression on his face. "Eh? Have you all been practicing your lines without me?!"

The silence broke and quiet murmurs drifted among the students. I exhaled the breath that I hadn't even noticed I was holding. From beside me, Sumire bristled angrily and stomped her way over to her desk, promptly dropping onto her chair. The crowd in the middle of the classroom slowly dispersed and I quickly turned to make my way to my own seat.

"Lesbo!"

"Freak!"

And from the back of my mind, I couldn't help but suppress the blinding anger that surfaced whenever I remembered the smug look on Luna's face. The whispered remarks shouldn't have hurt the way they did because I knew it wasn't true. I guess it just hurt to know that these people would believe anything that came out of Luna's mouth. They were judging Sumire and me right now when we'd done nothing wrong.

I've never been much of a vengeful girl but after this, Luna couldn't possibly believe she could start a rumor like that and get away with it. There had to be some way I could dispel the rumor and bring her down a peg.

_There had to be._

Narumi clapped his hands together and spread them wide and I couldn't help but notice the ridiculous outfit he had on. He was wearing a gold fitted outfit that included tights, a silk blouse with lace and a rimmed hat with a feather protruding from the side. There were dainty green elf shoes on his feet, bangles around his wrists and even a makeshift sword in his belt. I couldn't help but laugh, even in my situation; he was truly a sight to behold.

"I hope you've been testing those vocal cords people because today is our auditions day!" he shouted giddily.

The silence broke with several loud yells.

"What?! No!"

"Why is it so soon!?"

"You have_ got_ to be _kidding _me!"

"Well, it's obvious that Ruka's going to get the male lead again, anyway. Why bother trying!?"

"Luna's a shoe-in for the leading female role, right? Like last year and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that a—"

I felt a sharp jab in my ribs and turned to see Sumire's fierce expression. "We are not going to let Koizumi get the lead. Back me up on this, Mikan! Imai is _so_ not going to try out. That look on her face says it all—"

True to her word, Hotaru's arms were crossed and she had a murderous expression on her face. It was clear that she was not going to move an inch and whoever tried to make her do something that she didn't want to wouldn't be able to show their faces in public. I turned back to look at Sumire who instantly turned on the puppy dog eyes and on cue, the glittering halo appeared above her head.

That didn't faze me.

"I don't feel comfortable doing anything in front of large groups of people. Especially _them_," I nodded to the rest of the class. "—They're _rabid_ and it's like one wrong move, they'll pounce and bite my head off!"

Sumire rolled her eyes, took both of my hands and held them in a death grip. "Of course they will! Luna is the frickin' queen here and they'll eat up anything she says! If she gets this role, she'll be even stronger! Don't you understand that?" she huffed, angrily tearing her hands away to run them through her hair. "But if she _loses,_ we're well on our way to taking her to her social grave."

Sumire flipped her hair and glared at the back of Luna's bleach blonde head. "You're the literary queen here, Mikan—so work your magic! I wouldn't be surprised if you memorized every classic story on Earth!"

That wasn't entirely true. I was about to retort when Narumi clapped his hands again, looking mighty aggravated before putting a hand on his hip. "Now, now children," he chastised with twinkling purple eyes. He walked the length of the classroom making sure everyone was quiet before smiling almost wickedly, "—Let's behave and use the _spirit ball_, shall we?"

I turned to look at Hotaru - who was glaring daggers at Narumi - with confusion but she didn't seem to notice. She was too busy eyeing what Narumi had just taken from his desk.

It looked to be a squishy ball with blue and green patterns and a wave of nausea hit me. I watched as Narumi smiled widely at the thing before holding it up for the class to see. "For those that don't know what this is, it's the **spirit ball**. When we do our group discussions, only the person holding the spirit ball is allowed to talk. See? So raise your hands if you have something you want to say and pass the spirit ball around until all the questions are answered, okay?"

All hands raised except Hotaru's, Natsume's and mine. The ball sailed over heads and landed in Ruka's hands. He looked a bit surprised but quickly shook his head and settled his determined blue eyes on our teacher. "I think I'd like to take a break from this year's English program. Instead of acting, I'd like to help out behind the scenes, if that's okay . . . "

And for the first time ever, I saw a scowl marring Narumi's usually handsome face. The ball sailed back into his hands and he sighed, "—Ruka-kun, I was counting on you being the lead role of one of my plays! I'm doing two this year and I need your experience! You can't back down on me now!"

Ruka looked solemn as he fiddled with the ball. "I think it'd be fair to give somebody else a shot at the leading role," he explained calmly. "I'm sure the audience is a little tired of seeing me anyway." He smiled warmly and my heart instantly melted. Shouts of denial and assurances echoed around the classroom and Ruka flushed before throwing the ball back at Narumi who instantly chastised the class.

"What did I say about the spirit ball, everyone?" he asked playfully, twirling the ball in his hands.

The class silenced.

"Well?" he asked, looking at us expectantly.

"That only the person with the spirit ball may speak," we chorused in unison.

Narumi tsked and nipped his finger. "Then why are you talking? I'm holding the spirit ball, after all!" His eyes brightened after the rhyme before he pressed his lips into a thin line, suffocating the ball between his hands. "—Ruka-kun, you've put me in quite a hard spot." Narumi sighed dramatically and put a finger to his chin in mock thought. "—Alright. But it's only because you've been in my service for three years so your request is reasonable." His eyes hardened and all traces of playfulness was erased from his expression. "However, the rest of you won't be so lucky. You won't weasel yourselves away from me this year!"

I waited for the evil, boisterous laughter to rip through the air but Narumi only smiled and threw the ball back in the circle. Questions like what kind of plays did he choose for the two he'd be directing and how many lines they would have to read in the auditions were asked and the ball flew back and forth between teacher and students.

Even Natsume reluctantly took the ball, squeezing it so tight that I could make out a bit of the stuffing coming out before he gritted out, "I'm not doing it. I have school teams to lead and games to win."

He whipped the ball at Narumi who caught it with ease, pouting at the hole that Natsume had made. "Oh Natsume-kun! You know that won't work on me! You did just fine last year!"

"We're going for the championships this year and I won't divide my time between stupid rehearsals and my practices." He scoffed and pushed his chair out further in order to slump against the back. "Stupid, annoying teacher."

"Natsume," Ruka chided calmly, shooting him an appeasing look. Natsume's eyebrows softened slightly but the aggravated look on his face was still apparent as he glared at Narumi's amused expression.

My temper flared at his disrespect but Narumi's response made a smile light on my face. "Then quit your position. It's as simple as that, Natsume-kun because I won't back down if I choose you to be in my play." He winked playfully with a sparkle in his eyes before twirling, taking a giant leap in order to fold his legs onto the surface of one of the empty desks. "And you can bet that I will—!"

"He can't quit the soccer or swimming teams! Natsume practically _is _the team! Our asses will be kicked out of the tournament faster than free Botox in the super market!!" Heads whipped around to raise an eyebrow at Koko's comment and he flushed guiltily. "—What!? I heard it on TV once!"

Narumi shrugged, undaunted. "That's hardly my problem, Koko-kun! And may I remind you of the importance of the spirit ball?" Koko shook his head vigorously and slumped in his seat, sending Natsume a sympathetic expression in which Natsume ignored, unruffled. "Enough questions! We'll start with the Disney Classic, **The Beauty and the Beast**! Girls, get ready to line up in front of the class and I will tell you what lines are to be read!"

Tortured groans echoed throughout the classroom.

* * *

"This is impossible! How do you expect us to read Belle's dialogue when nobody is reading off the Beast's?!" whined Luna, throwing the script on the ground. She stomped on it for good measure and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her child's tantrum. "Narumi-senseiiii!! Get a boy to read Beast's lines and get him _fast_!"

Narumi pursed his lips and propped his feet up on his desk, crossing them at the ankles. He narrowed his eyes at Luna who glared back indignantly and waved off her comment. "_True _stars are able to work with what's given to them, darling. You didn't hear Sumire-chan complaining did you?"

Sumire positively glowed after that comment and stuck her tongue out at the back of Luna's head.

I grinned.

"Ruka-kun? Would you?" Narumi sighed dramatically, with a hand to his forehead. He waved him to the front and after light protests, Ruka dragged himself to the front of the class and took the script that was offered to him, trying in vain to ignore Luna's squeal of delight.

Luna stood close to him, brushing her fingers against his arm, all while trying to read the lines from the script, which definitely proved difficult. "Who's there? Who _are_ you? Why have you taken my dear feather from me, oh hot _sexy_ Beast?!" she giggled and twirled a lock of gold between her fingers.

I could see Ruka trying hard not to flinch away from her and Hotaru's darkening aura permeating from her corner of the room.

Narumi tapped his leg with a rolled up script and cleared his throat. "Luna dear, you skipped two lines. I thought you were having troubles because there was no Beast. Maybe it's best that Ruka isn't reading," Narumi suggested cheerily. "And please don't change the words. They're in front of you for a reason, girl!"

She promptly ignored him and nudged Ruka. He rolled his eyes. "I am the master of this castle!" he called convincingly, his deep blue eyes fierce with passion. Luna clutched onto his arm and moved the script an arms length away before crying, "But B-Beast! I've come for my feather. Please let him out. Can't you see he's sack?"

Giggles traveled around the room and Luna sent a sharp look over her shoulder which instantly silenced the class. She cleared her throat and curtseyed, sneering sweetly, "I did perfectly, if I do say so myself!"

Sumire crossed her arms and snorted. "It's _father_ not _feather_ and what the hell is _'he's_ _sack'_? — It's supposed to be, _'he's sick'! _How in the world you became the lead for the last few years is beyond me," Sumire scoffed, crossing her arms.

I laughed and nudged Hotaru in the arm which she returned with an ardent smile. I could tell Narumi was trying to mask his laughs behind a series of hacking coughs.

"Next girl, read after the Beast calls Belle to dinner, please!!"

Every girl went up in front of the class to read off lines from **The Beauty and the Beast** and after forty-five minutes of that, switched to reading lines from **Romeo and Juliet**, a play that Narumi had been dying to direct since he'd started teaching, four years ago. It seemed that the girls did a fine job of reading off Belle's lines but when it came to Shakespearean jargon, they encountered many difficulties.

I know it might seem childish of me to snicker when Kanako ignored all of the extra "iths" and "ays" and when Hinako screeched her lines out from between her teeth; but I did. Sure, I wasn't proud of it but when I was in the moment, it just looked so funny. I laughed especially when they winked and flounced around the room at the male audience. Even shy Nobara scoffed quietly from behind me.

Oh well. Karma was a bitch and I was no exception to this rule.

When I limped my way to the front of the class, tripping over Luna's foot which had been _conveniently _blocking my path, I held the script between shaking fingers, trying not to look at the male audience. It was tough—no doubt about it. I stumbled over Belle's lines at the beginning, slowly getting a hang of it around the middle and by the end, I couldn't even hear what was going on in the classroom. I just had to look at Narumi's face and read off the lines and the rest of the **Beauty **auditions ended. There was, however, a few jeers at my stuttering and respectful claps from the others. Sumire couldn't help but mention that I could've done _"an ass-load better!"_

Nobara and Nonoko did surprisingly well when their shy natures were taken into account. Anna was fantastic with Belle's lines and Hotaru had no chance in hell of getting a part, which I knew pleased her. When I asked if she was concerned about her English grade, she merely shrugged and said Ruka had gotten her a leave from the acting and that she'd be helping backstage while he helped direct.

_Manipulative arse._

Halfway through the **Juliet **auditions, however, Narumi pulled a stupid idea from his arse and completely _killed _me. He'd decided that in order to make the auditions easier and faster, he'd have alternating auditions. As in a boy audition that flows to the girl auditions or vice versa.

Many seemed reassured by this, though. I couldn't wait for them to be over.

"Tobita-kun, start with _It was_ and end at_ stay or die_, please! Nobara-chan will come in afterward with _Yon light_ to _not to be gone!_" Narumi instructed, going back to his seat in the front row of the class. He pointed a ruler at the pair, singing, "Annnnddd _action_!" before slamming the ruler on his desk. Yuu, who I met briefly in Math, jumped and adjusted his glasses, nervously moistening his lips.

_I-It was the l-lark, the herald o-of the morn,  
No nightingale: look, l-lo-love, what envious streaksss  
Do l-lace the sever-ring clouds in y-yonder east:  
Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day  
S-stands tiptoe on the m-misty mountain tops.  
I must be gone and live, or stay and d-die._

Yuu inhaled deeply before smiling shyly at his feet. His cheeks were inflamed and he looked extremely relieved that his auditions were over.

Nobara didn't look too hot.

From where I stood off to the side of the class, I could see the page between Nobara's fingers shaking as she held it, prepping herself. She cleared her throat quietly and spoke in a voice so softly that I barely made out a sound coming from her lips. Faintly, I caught pieces of her speech and when she looked up from the script with her cheeks bright pink, I whistled and clapped my hands as loud as I could, elbowing both Sumire and Hotaru, who reluctantly did the same.

Nobara flushed back behind me and smiled shyly. My heart was beating crazily within my chest and I hesitantly walked up to the front when my name was called, only slightly reassured when Koko was the one that would be auditioning with me. He grinned widely, his trademark Cheshire smile and winked playfully before nudging my arm. "Don't worry, Mikan-chan! You'll do great, just follow my lead!" he whispered. "Same lines," he grinned. "Ready?"

He linked his arm with mine and started boisterously,

_It was the lark, the herald of the morn,  
No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks!_

He took my hand, looked me in the eye and continued reading his lines as if he'd had them memorized and I couldn't help but notice that his eyes were the most beautiful shade of hazel that I'd ever seen. The mix of green and brown were totally separate and from the back of my mind, I was reminded of caramel apples. Koko smiled widely and winked again, turning back to the audience. I made the mistake of looking up too.

Even though there were only forty kids in our English class, I couldn't help but see a sea of faces. Everyone was looking at us. Everyone! I felt my knees buckle as my eyes flitted around the room, settling briefly on Ruka's gentle smile before he turned to whisper something to Natsume and then to Sumire's eyes filled with shock. Inwardly, I smiled at her expression. Koko jabbed me gently in the ribs and I looked back at him in surprise, realizing that in a few seconds, I'd have to go after his amazing performance.

_. . . . misty mountain tops.  
I must be gone and live, or stay and die!_

And I panicked.

The audience clapped briefly and immediately looked to me. As if on cue, my hands started to shake. "C'mon, Mikan! You can do it," Koko urged quietly, taking a hold of my free hand. I nodded and looked at my classmates, instantly locking eyes with Natsume's fierce expression. I couldn't help but be captivated by his melting gaze and even though he was seated at the furthest seat from the front of the class, I could easily make out the ruby of his irises and the flawless planes of his face. And before I knew it, my lines were flying out of my mouth without any direction from my brain.

_Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I:  
It is some meteor that the sun exhales,  
To be to thee this night a torch-bearer,  
And light thee on thy way to Mantua:  
Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not to be gone._

I exhaled a breath of air and panicked again, breathing quickly from my lips and breaking the intense staring contest with Natsume, eyes wide and my knees ready to give out. I was faintly aware of Koko's hand leading me stumbling back to my seat and Hotaru's concerned eyes; but I didn't dwell on it for a second.

_What was that?! _I have never, ever_—what happened!?_ It was like my body was working without any control from my brain and it happened after looking at him! It was his entire fault!

Freakin' Hyuuga controlled my mind!

I moaned, resting my head against the cool surface of my desk before breathing deeply, the ringing in my ears fading. Background sounds of the classroom slowly filtered into my ears, starting with a soothing buzz into familiar lines. Ones I recognized to be the ones that Koko and I had just read.

I mentally cursed myself.

That was the worst presentation in the world! Of course Koko did bloody fantastic but that only made me look even worse! Who knew pairing up with Koko for auditions would make me feel so bad!?

"You're pale," Hotaru snickered and I grimaced.

When the bell rang, I couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

* * *

I moaned softly, burying my face into the throw pillow on the couch.

"Mikan, give it a rest already! You did fine, alright?! Hotaru, tell her she did fine," Sumire grumbled, throwing some popcorn into her mouth.

Hotaru glared.

Keeping her eyes firmly on the television screen, she threw a pillow and hit Sumire square in the face, "Don't tell me what to do, Shouda. And shut up. I'm trying to watch this damn movie."

I hugged the fluffy blue pillow to my chest and sighed, fiddling with my braided pig tails. "Okay, okay! I'll be quiet about it, okay?! I'm just saying now that my presentation had to be the worst one yet!" Sumire looked like she was about to retort but I put my hands up, "Okay, I'm done! It's over and I'll never have to worry about it again!"

I inhaled deeply, ignoring Jack Sparrow as he dangled above a fire and willed my heart to stop hammering in my chest as I relived the terrible memory.

Sumire straightened up and brushed the hair away from her eyes. "Okay, wait! Before we drop the subject, I'd like to point out that the worst presentation was Éclair's! My ears are _still _ringing from her high pitched shrieks!" I laughed when she clapped both hands over her ears and pretended to faint dramatically against the blankets that we'd pulled onto the couches, with her tongue dangling from the side of her mouth. I didn't miss the smile that flashed momentarily across Hotaru's lips. Then again, it could've been caused by Johnny Depp's supreme acting skills.

Delighted by our response, Sumire bolted upright and smirked. "Mochu didn't do very well with Romeo's lines, either. I mean, no offence or anything but he sounded all caveman and nothing Romeo!" she cleared her voice and started doing a very impressive imitation of Mochu's performance and I giggled, pulling my arm back to launch a pillow at her head.

"Okay, okay! Mission accomplished! I feel better, okay?" I laughed again at her expression and stuffed a handful of popcorn in my mouth.

"By the way, how did Hyuuga do?" I asked nonchalantly, propping myself up on the beanie chair.

As predicted, Sumire's eyes glazed over and she cooed, "—He was sooo good! I mean, he could've done better for Romeo's part since he sounded all bored and stuff but when he said,_ "To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss"," _Sumire swooned and fell against the backrest with a sigh before bolting back up. "—I died! You choose one heck of a time to have one of your panic attacks, nerd! I bet even _you_ would melt!"

I glowered at her. "Nerd refers to someone that is insanely, super duper smart! I'm not super smart—"

"—You read so many damn books though!" she cut in, pointing an accusing finger in my direction. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue to stop the torrent of names I wanted to call her.

"Then you're referring to _bookworm _not nerd or geek! Besides that, what'd you think about Koko's performance, huh? I mean, if I wasn't such a bad partner, our presentation would've been flawless but by himself, Koko was amazing, eh?"

She frowned and narrowed her eyes at the bed covers. "He was alright. Better than I expected—" she admitted, albeit reluctantly. She looked up and smirked, eyes gleaming when she roared, "—but nothing compares to Natsume-sama!"

I groaned at her excitement.

"Don't talk to her anymore, Mikan. If she thinks too much in one day, she might get a brain hemorrhage," Hotaru commented blandly, never breaking eye contact with the television.

"Hey!" Sumire shrieked indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I _hate_ that! I'm not some brainless bimbo, you know!"

I giggled and turned back to watch the movie anyway, barely making out Hotaru's quiet murmur of, "—Could've fooled me . . ."

* * *

Friday came faster than I could've thought possible after such a long week. News traveled quickly about Sumire and me being _"lesbians" _which I still denied heatedly. Then again, that wasn't the only news circulating around school that included me. Saving Aoi and the expulsion of three soccer players which resulted in another soccer tryout for the guys was being discussed every time I spared an ear in school. Not that I cared about that last one but it was a hot topic in the girls' change rooms about how their poor _Natsume-sama_ would have to endure another tryout that would only waste his precious time.

Whatever.

The main reason I was so pissed off was because I still hadn't found a way of dispelling the stupid lesbian rumor and each passing day led to Luna's enlarged head. I couldn't stand that. The good thing was that my leg had healed insanely fast and I could even run without feeling so much as a twitch of pain.

"Oi, Mikan-chan! O-_iiiiii_!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my head in time to see both Tsubasa-senpai and Aoi slowing to a jog and I stopped to let them catch up. "Good morning, you two!" I smiled, introducing them to Sumire, who took one look at Tsubasa and instantly latched onto his arm. "So you're Natsume-sama's brother, no? I was wondering if you cou—"

"Onee-sama! I heard they posted up Narumi's cast for his English plays! Are you going to check them out?! I heard this rumor that you made it!" Aoi squealed delightedly, tugging on my arm and leading me quickly toward the building. "C'mon, let's check it out together!"

Hotaru pressed a finger to her temple and cursed under her breath, not bothering to try to catch up. "She's probably going to be a garbage can, anyway," she grumbled and I couldn't help the cry of protest that bubbled from my lips.

"C'mon! You're not going to be a garbage can! Tsubasa-nii, tell her she's not going to be a garbage can!" Aoi demanded after examining my frown.

Tsubasa chuckled, sending a charming smile to Sumire who squealed with delight. Once placated, Tsubasa sent a wink in my direction, "Don't worry, Mikan-chan. You're too kawaii to be a trash can."

And even though I knew they were just trying to make me feel better, I couldn't help but brightening a bit. What was up with these Hyuuga siblings trying to butter me up!?

Suddenly, Aoi's hand pulled me to a stop and I almost tripped if it hadn't been for Tsubasa's firm grip on my arm.

_"Akimoto-san."_

I glanced up instantly and saw the brown haired boy with a friendly smile on his face. I was about to say hi when Aoi's small hands tightened around my fingers, shaking with an intensity that confused me.

Akimoto stopped and gave a lopsided grin. "Aww, why are you calling me by my last name, Aoi-chan? We're friends, aren't we?" he asked with his hands in his pockets. I tilted my head to the side and regarded the whole scene in confusion. He flashed a friendly grin my way.

"We're not friends anymore," Aoi snapped, her voice wavering slightly. "We'll never, ever be friends."

He frowned a bit, mirroring what was bound to be a frown on my face and then, brightened. "Well, I wanted to come over and say _hi_. I was wondering, Mikan-chan, if I could walk you to class? I know you're probably wondering if you made the plays or not," he asked smoothly, offering a hand to escort me. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

I was just about to ask what was going on but a body cut in front of me.

"No."

_What?!_

I looked up at Tsubasa in confusion and Aoi's grip on my hand shook even more. I turned my head in alarm and saw her bottom lip quivering. "Hey, Aoi what's—"

"I'm sure Mikan can make that decision by herself," Akimoto chided playfully, stepping around Tsubasa's towering body. "Do you want to, Mikan-chan?"

"Don't go near her," Tsubasa snapped, stepping up close so that Akimoto had to look up to look him in the eye. "_We _are walking her to class so bug off, Akimoto, befor—"

"What's going on?" a deep voice cut in sternly. I whipped around to gaze at Natsume who had come to a stop right beside his sister, a bland expression on his face. He looked at Akimoto with hardened eyes and narrowed his gaze at the boy's unwavering smile. "What do you want from my family?" he growled deeply, irritated.

I stiffened at the threat in his voice and shivered. Normally, I loved it when Natsume sounded irritated but this kind of irritation—it was _freaky_. What happened to make the Hyuugas so hostile towards Akimoto? I mean, he seemed to be a nice enough guy. Something big must've happened between them, though, if Tsubasa's fists were clenched so tight that he was drawing blood, Aoi was shaking and Natsume was . . . _irritatingly_ calm.

Akimoto laughed, breaking me out of my reverie and put a hand through his hair. "What is up with you Hyuugas thinking that I'm up to something?!" he sighed with exasperation. He shot an apologetic look at me before looking at Natsume with a bored expression. "I don't want something from your family. I want Mikan and that's all. And she's not yours yet so don't even try that card with me, Hyuuga."

"Shut _up_," Tsubasa snarled angrily, advancing with a primal scowl on his face. "She's with my family and you'd better back off, you puny little bastard befor—"

"_Tsubasa_," Natsume drawled, effectively cutting him off. He glared at Akimoto and in his usual, smooth voice, he replied, "Go away, Akimoto. She's with us, today."

Akimoto rolled his eyes, "Then give her to me."

"You know we won't," Natsume replied calmly, pocketing his hands. "You probably didn't hear me when I said that _we have her for the day_."

I rolled my eyes, "You guys can stop talking as if I'm not here." I scoffed and glared at them all, "I'm not sure you guys have noticed but the **she **and the **her** you're talking about is here and she doesn't like it when you guys make her sound like some sort of _pet_! I'm not a domestic animal, you know!"

They blinked at me and then turned back to each other.

"Stay away from her," Aoi spat. "She's way out of your league."

Unruffled, Akimoto shifted his stance and rolled his neck. "And you would know all about who's in my league, wouldn't you, Aoi-_chan_?"

Tsubasa lunged but Natsume pulled him back. Ignoring the alarmed look on Akimoto's face, he pulled him off to the side and shoved him none too gently away before speaking in low whispers. From in front of me, Tsubasa swore loudly, "Man, I _hate_ him!"

"What did he do, exactly?" I asked, highly curious. "I mean, he doesn't seem dangerous or anything. He's always been really nice to me . . ."

It was Aoi who answered me in a tight voice. "You don't know what he's truly like, Mikan-sama. He's . . . not who you think he is . . . Trust me."

I wrinkled my nose in confusion but her bubbly voice interrupted anything I was about to say as she tugged me forward, "—Let's see what part you got, Mikan-sama! We have to hurry before classes start!"

She dragged me through the school doors and I looked around for any signs of Sumire and Hotaru but they were nowhere in sight. Instead, my company consisted of the Hyuuga siblings, including Natsume who had caught up easily with thinned lips and a dark scowl on his face. I briefly wondered what the hell happened between him and Akimoto but the magnificent stares that were being directed at me because of my company, quickly erased all other thoughts.

I flushed with the whispered murmurs that were echoing through the halls.

"Hurry, Mikan-sama!" Aoi chirped delightedly, dragging me over to the crowded bulletin board outside my classroom. "Awww, I can't see a thing! Tsubasa-nii, Natsume-nii, can you see anything? I can't see anything at _all_!"

Upon hearing the Hyuuga sibling names, the heads looking up at the bulletin board whipped around and immediately, they whispered, trying to move out of the Hyuugas' way. If I hadn't thought it weird, I would've laughed at the looks of adoration on their faces.

_Priceless_.

"Thank you!" Aoi called swiftly, bowing a bit before rushing up to the bulletin board, I watched as her eyes scanned it with at an astonishing pace before she grinned, "Natsume-nii-_chan_ landed a lead role!" she singsonged with a childish giggle, giving her brother a sound hug.

I laughed and glanced up at the bulletin board, smiling at Aoi's delighted face.

**The Beauty and the Beast **

**Cast**

Belle - Sumire Shouda

Beast - Natsume Hyuuga

I stopped there with a wide grin on my face. Twirling around, I clasped my hands behind my back and smiled at Natsume's bland expression. "Natsume, you're the Beast!" I chortled, patting his cheek sympathetically. "What a fitting title for you, Natsume. Doesn't everyone just _love_ to be called a Beast?"

I couldn't help but repeat, _"The Beast!"_ before laughing again at his expression of disgust. "That gay teacher is _dead_," he muttered softly, ignoring my obvious delight at his predicament.

I was about to turn around and check the rest of the list when I saw Natsume's expression change from one of loathing to one of confusion. "What—_you?!_ You're—" he turned his head to glare at me and then, at the door of our English class. "That puny, little bastard!" he growled darkly. "He's purposely trying to screw the hell out of me!"

I was about to laugh until Aoi's voice cut me off. "Oh, Mikan-sama! You got a part! You got a part, too!"

_What?!_

I whipped around chanting negatives in my head, all the while scanning the Beauty and the Beast cast list before moving onto Romeo and Juliet's.

**Romeo and Juliet**

**Cast**

Romeo Montague - Kokoro Yome

Juliet Capulet - Mikan Sakura

Nurse (Capulet's) - Lu—

Whoa—wait!

Backtrack!

Juliet . . . **Mikan Sakura.**

_Mikan . . . Sakura?_

_Sakura . . . Sakura . . . Sakura . . ._

I swallowed but my mouth was dry.

_Mikan Sakura?!_

"Oh, no," I murmured, glaring at the name. But no matter how hard I glared, it wouldn't change, _dammit_! Change, change, _change_!

"Wow, you're Juliet, Mikan-sama! I knew you wouldn't be a garbage can!"

I shook my head, "He made a mistake. This has to be a mistake! Oh, no, no, no, no, _no_!" I growled, pounding my fist against the wall. "I refuse to believe I'm Juliet!"

I turned to glare at Natsume, only to find that he was already glaring at me. I poked a finger at his chest and narrowed my eyes, "This is all your fault!" I accused; only to find that he had just accused me of the same thing.

_What!?_

* * *

**To get things straight in case I offended somebody last chapter, I'm not a homophobe and I have nothing against gays and lesbians. If you knew me, you'd have known that I've always wanted to befriend a gay guy. They always sound awesome! :)**

* * *

**Q. Why didn't you put Mikan and Natsume together as the leads of ONE play?**

_A. I find it much more interesting to keep them apart. Besides that, I've always planned for them to be apart in these two plays and I've been thinking about what you readers would expect and changed the outcome. It's best to be different, no?_

**Q. What's Mikan going to do about the lesbian rumor? Why didn't Natsume just kiss her in front of the class and get rid of it?**

_A. That is not Natsume's character. Mikan would beat him up if he made a move on her and this is Mikan's battle to fight. Not everyone can fight for her. Besides that, I'm not planning for the kiss to be so early. When the time is right, the kiss will be magnificent. The lesbian rumor will be resolved in due time. XP_

**Q. Don't you think you should've written more auditions instead of just four? Why wasn't there anything of interest during the auditions?**

_A. It would take wayyy too much time and besides, it'd be so repetitive and boring, you'd be in tears. As for the interest, it may not have been interesting, but there were some . . . things you might want to be aware of. Can't tell you what but it'll come in later chapters. A little foreshadowing, if you will._

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	10. The Best Deceptions

**Disclaimer: **My Hopeless Romantic does not own Gakuen Alice. She does, however, enjoy putting the characters through hell and back.

* * *

_I heard about your regrets_

_I heard that you were feeling sorry_

_I heard from someone that you wish you could_

_Set things right between us_

_I guess I should have heard of that from you_

_Well don't you see, don't you see_

_That the charade is over_

_And all the "Best Deceptions" and the "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you._

_"The Best Deceptions" — **Dashboard Confessional**_

**Chapter Ten: The Best Deceptions**

Narumi was gone by the time Natsume and I burst through the doors to English class. It turned out that he'd anticipated the group of hormonally charged teenagers coming in to yell at him because he'd called in a substitute who was, at the moment, cowering in one corner of the room, pretending to water Narumi's cactus when in reality, he seemed to be crying.

Not only did Natsume curse and sweep from the room, but he had the nerve to glare at me with surprisingly hateful eyes. It didn't make things better when I remembered that Aoi and Tsubasa had invited me to dinner at the Hyuuga household for tonight. I could only wonder how the middle Hyuuga child would treat me when we'd have hours to spend in each other's company.

I tried forgetting all about the dinner and focused on the school day at hand, but nothing truly interesting was happening. There was, however, the fact that Sumire was flaunting her lead role to anybody that would listen and Luna kept swearing she'd see to it that Belle would be _her_ role by the end of the day.

The confident declaration from bright red lips made a shiver of uneasiness pass through my spine.

"What could _she_ honestly do to get _my_ role?" Sumire scoffed loudly as we walked to the cafeteria. "Her daddy and mummy aren't going to sue the school for something like the lead in a play, will they?"

I shrugged, "Who knows? She _did_ really want that role and rich people always use their status to get what they want, right?"

"Oh please," Sumire rolled her eyes, lining up behind the queue of the cafeteria line, "She may be one of the richest girls in school and her dad may own the biggest furniture empire in Asia and Europe, maybe even North America, but that does _not_ mean the school is going to give her _my_ role!"

She flashed me a pointed look, waiting for my agreement but I kept my eyes on the steaming cafeteria food. I thought about what she'd said and couldn't help but blanch at the thought. There was a nagging thought at the back of my head that made me wonder if Luna had gotten the last few lead roles because her parents had bought her way through the school district. I glanced at Sumire as she stepped up to order and studied her face, glowing with happiness. What would she look like if Luna _had_ somehow found a way to get her part?

She turned with a frown on her face, wrinkling her nose, "Oh, ew!" she squeezed her eyes shut, "Do not get the onion rings. I just saw the lunch lady sneeze on it! My _God_, that's disgusting!" she wrinkled her nose, craning her neck to take a closer look despite how disgusting she thought it was.

I didn't even want to picture how crushed she'd look.

We took our trays to a table that Hotaru was already sitting at and settled down, Sumire instantly digging into her lunch consisting of a creamy pasta mixture, a soda and a box full of fries. "Weren't you on a diet?" Hotaru pointed out blandly, putting some light butter on her crab roll and taking a small bite.

Sumire looked up, slightly annoyed and merely brushed her hair over her shoulder before rolling her eyes, "Who cares about the diet? I'll eat whatever I want to and everyone else, be damned!"

I laughed.

Hotaru merely took another bite. Meanwhile, her eyes were set on Sumire with a look that was almost inquisitive. And for some reason, I felt uneasy.

Trying not to dwell on my negative thoughts, I took a bite of my sandwich and relaxed against the hard backing of the plastic cafeteria chairs. "So, do you two have plans for the weekend?" I asked, looking at them expectantly.

Hotaru shrugged her shoulders and dabbed the corners of her mouth with a napkin before she looked at me. "My brother came home for his exam break abroad," she muttered sourly, taking an almost vicious bite of her crab roll, "I'm going home for the weekend in order to see him before he goes back to America."

"Well _I_ have it much worse!" Sumire scowled, munching on a handful of fries before throwing her napkin on the table. "My mother's in town and I'm expected to come to all of her business dinners concerning some major clients or some other snobby rich people." Sumire scoffed under her breath and muttered something probably vulgar before eating another fry.

"What type of business does your mom run?" I asked, stealing some fries from her greasy box. "Must be something awful if you're moping about it."

She wrinkled her nose and almost hissed the word, "_Beauty_."

I frowned.

"Enticing Industries run by Aiki Shouda specializes in make-up, hair and spa treatments with several large resorts across Asia and a couple of individuals stores. Last I heard, they were expanding to North America," Hotaru recited with dull eyes. She nodded almost imperceptibly and continued with her lunch, polishing off all of her crab rolls and starting on a small bowl of won ton soup.

I gawked at her, wondering how she knew so much about Sumire's family but then did a double take. The way she looked surprised me and I squinted my eyes, really looking at her and noted her fragile figure for the first time. I guess the first time I met her, I was too busy being curious about the things that she said and the feeling that everyone was after me to notice her physically other than her hair and eyes. Now that I really looked though, she was unusually pale and skinny. Not skin and bones skinny where her cheeks were sunken and her eyes looked disgustingly zombie-like, but skinny enough for me to feel like I should be getting her to eat more. She had an almost unnatural dull look to her eyes with dark circles underneath.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped, her eyes never leaving the swirl of soup that her spoon made. "Don't think that I can't see you analyzing me, idiot."

I shrugged, a little bit of heat creeping up my cheeks.

"And you weren't even trying to hide it either," Sumire tutted in disappointment, sipping the last of her soda. "I mean, try to make it casual, at least."

I cleared my throat, "So I was wondering, why don't you like going with your mom to her business dinners? I mean, they're talking about **beauty** here - that's your forte, isn't it? I thought you'd be _ecstatic_ to go to things like that."

She rolled her eyes and made a show of rummaging through her purse, abruptly changing the subject. "I was thinking we could go to a movie or something tonight. You know, since it's Friday and we won't be seeing each other at all this weekend. There's this new romantic comedy out called 'The Secret t-"

"Sumire, stop and answer the question."

I watched as she looked increasingly flustered, shaking her bag with a force that made the contents within clang around. She took a moment to push her hair back away from her face, then continued her search. I met Hotaru's bland gaze and I quirked an eyebrow at her, in which she returned with a shrug.

"Okay, Permy," I leaned forward. "Can you please just calm down for a second, put your purse on the table and look at us? You're starting to freak me out. You know, it's just a simple question and if you don't want to talk about it, then just say so instead of ignoring us."

She looked up and her eyes flashed from me to Hotaru and back before she all but snarled, "Then let's not talk about it. If you both are so bent on personally _attacking_ me today, then I'm out of here!"

She shrugged her bag onto her shoulder, the screech of her chair signalling her departure.

I closed my eyes, rubbing my eyelids, "_What_ just happened?"

"She got mad," Hotaru informed simply, with a roll of her eyes, "... stupid."

I couldn't help a laugh. "Yeah, well thanks for the obvious." I got up and pushed my chair away before gathering up our garbage and walking the short distance to deposit it all in the trash. Hotaru had followed with silent steps and we started the walk towards the exit. "So, what do you think is going on with her?"

She didn't respond immediately, her lips thinned in the makings of a frown. "Making assumptions doesn't make the truth any clearer," she replied softly, turning her head to look in the direction Sumire had gone. "For now, we'll wait, watch and wonder."

"Waiting has never been my strongest virtue and let me tell you, the curiosity is going to _kill_ me," I grumbled. She snorted and I could imagine her eyes rolling but I didn't mind. I was thinking about some possible reasons Permy could hate her mother's dinner companions but nothing came up that wasn't a big deal. It was a bit mind-boggling once I really refl--

"Do you know her?"

I blinked at the interruption, "Who?"

"The girl that's coming towards us, moron," Hotaru snapped, a strong edge of irritation to her voice. I looked around a bit too vigorously because Hotaru slammed her elbow into my forearm and hissed, "Can you _make_ it more obvious?"

"Um, hello? Mikan Sakura?"

I broke the glare I was aiming at Hotaru to look to my left where a cute redhead stood, clearly a few inches shorter than me. She had a curious look on her face and her analyzing green eyes made a shiver run down my spine. Instantly defensive, I crossed my arms, "Yes? What if I am?"

She blinked in surprise, "Sorry about this, but my friends about four o'clock in my direction dared me to go ask you - and pretty please don't be offended but - you aren't really a lesbian are you?"

I quirked a brow in surprise and she flushed instantly, her gaze shooting to the ground, "I'm so sorry!" She looked up and frowned, "There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian and all. They were just wondering and you know, I'm new so it's hard to make friends and you know, I'm afraid that they'll think I'm a wuss if--"

I laughed and she blushed, turning her head away to look back at her friends which I instantly spotted whipping their heads around in hopes of making it seem like they weren't looking in the first place. "You know, if you're being pressured to ask me this question because you're afraid you'll lose your new friends, doesn't there seem to be a problem here?" I asked, watching as she paled a bit. "Well, since this means so much to you, let me ask you this: do you know Natsume Hyuuga?"

Confused, the girl tentatively nodded.

I tried to think quickly.

Flopping down in one of the plastic chairs to buy time, I tipped my head back to look out the skylight. "Well you see, the truth is - I was very much in love with Sumire," there was a collective gasp that almost made me smirk if it weren't for the churning of bile rising from my stomach. Instead, I gazed at the uncomfortable girl before me and put a hand on my forehead, "But it ended last month when I found her cheating on me for that stupid Hyuuga. In fact, in the hours following our breakup I'd discovered both Natsume and his brother, Tsubasa making out behind a bush."

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Hotaru's lips slightly parted in surprise and the vicinity around us in a silent uproar. "It would've been traumatizing, if not for Koko's quick arrival, coming to join them to have a most comfortable threesome (roar of indignation). When I told Sumire about what happened, she stomped out of our dorm and went to kick Hyuuga in the grapes only to find that his _grandfather_ was already in the midst of finishi--"

"STOP! That is NOT true and you know that, you liar!" Kanako screeched, unaccompanied by Luna or Eclair. Instead, Hinako stood by the girl with her hands on her hips and a reddened face. "Sakura, you two-bit lying monster! How could you say something so _degrading_ about Natsume-kun!? He would never have a threesome with his brother, that's just _wrong_!"

Hinako nodded her head emphatically and narrowed her blue eyes, "And I know Luna's rumour was bad and all but what you said is so, _so_, _so_ much worse!"

I shrugged my shoulders as nonchalantly as possible and smirked at Hotaru. To the kids in the cafeteria, I smiled. "Well, now you know how _I_ felt when Luna started that rumour about me, right? Let me just say this once and for all: Sumire and I are _just_ friends, we are both straighter than unbendable rulers and this rumour is just some sort of sick joke to people that are bored with their lame lives," there was a loud murmur from the crowd and I jumped from my chair to Hotaru's side. Putting a hand up in salute, I couldn't keep the grin off my face, "Have a _great_ lunch!"

I smiled at the redhead whose lips cracked into a smile, "That was so cool! Nice meeting you, Mikan-san!"

And before I could answer, she was running back to her friends with a huge grin on her face. "Well, that was a productive lunch," I commented lightly, almost skipping beside Hotaru.

She turned to look at me curiously and a second passed before she nodded, "For an idiot, that was a well-devised plan. Could've used some thought and more tact but it was rather effective," she commented, mostly to herself. "Then again, you'll have to deal with Hyuuga when he gets wind of what you said but I doubt much will be done in terms of physical harm. Possibly some psychological damage to your cerebral cortex-"

By then, she'd totally lost me, but I didn't mind. Nor did I care about what Natsume would do when he heard because for the past week, I'd been conjuring up ways to show that all the rumours were lies from Luna, herself. Now that _that_ was all done, almost everyone in that cafeteria heard what Hinako - _or was it Kanako?_ - said and it'd be insane if they didn't get those brain cells working! Who could deny the words right from one of the Queen Bee's lackeys? My mind swirled with delirious contentment. Luna had made that rumour and by the time the school day ended, I was hoping; everyone would know the truth.

"Hey, skinnies," drawled an arrogant, feminine voice.

I turned around and my eyes met deep pink irises belonging to a girl wearing loose, dark washed jeans, clunky black boots, a worn out brown jacket and dark eye make-up. She arched one perfectly sculpted eyebrow and cracked her jaw to the left, "Never pegged you for the gutsy type."

I didn't know how to answer or to hide my surprise because I was captivated. She was _beautiful_.

She rolled her eyes, "Huh, I never pegged you for the stupid mute, either."

I shook my head and laughed, "Well you took me by surprise. You know, you have this scary beautiful thing?"

She arched an eyebrow, "You sure you're not a lesbian?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes, "No, I'm not a lesbian. God, how many times do I have to _say_ that?" I sighed dramatically. I opened one eye to gouge her reaction, only to see that she was grinning.

"I was just kidding, skinnies. The name's Misaki, by the way. Misaki Harada. We've heard a lot of things from you and for one, you've got Rui here mighty interested from the get-go," she informed, pointing a thumb over her shoulder at a boy - _or was it a girl? -_ with long dirty blonde hair and purple eyes. I gulped at - probably a **his** - intense stare and when I closed my eyes, I could only see his striking features.

I was interrupted by Misaki's laugh. "Oh, I guess I should've mentioned that he's not interested in you _that_ way." She chuckled, the other members at her lunch table sharing her glee. "Wanna explain, Rui? She might just throw herself on you if you don't make it quick," Misaki advised with another laugh.

Rui's lips seemed to thin a bit before he rolled his eyes, "Referring to your earlier tirade," he drawled in a deep, male voice, "I am what you would call, a _very_ **bendable** straw."

Hotaru and I snorted to hide our laughter and I met his gaze with a smile, "I have no problems with that."

He arched a brow and smirked before turning his gaze away to look at Hotaru and I immediately jumped in to inform, "My name is Mikan Sakura and this is my friend Hotaru Imai."

There was a sharp intake of breath and I quickly turned back to look at a navy haired boy with dark grey eyes whose jaw was slightly ajar. "... She looks like "Cool Blue Sky", doesn't she?" he asked, his cheeks turning pink and his breaths quickened. "Holy hell, it's Cool Blue Sky!"

Rui's lips thinned and he rolled his eyes. "Hayate, don't tell me you're still watching that television show. I told you it was bad for you and now you're seeing illusions. Not every girl is your "Cool Blue Sky", you know," he drawled in annoyance.

Hayate gulped and started rummaging through his bag, murmuring _no, no, no_. "See! Here, look at this and try to tell me she doesn't look like my Cool Blue Sky! Ha!"

Rui caught the magazine easily and skimmed the page with bored eyes, lifting them to scrutinize Hotaru. He sighed and massaged his temples with one hand and threw the magazine at Misaki who instantly guffawed, "Whoa, she does! She does look like Cool Blue Sky!"

"See?!" Hayate murmured in awe, slipping off the table to draw closer. "I can't believe she's in front of my very eyes ... She's so close, I could touch her, feel her silky hair between my fingers and feel those delectable lips on mi--"

I struggled to keep my laugh from bursting out of me as I watched Hotaru's gaze sharpen into slits. "Don't hold your breath," she drawled coldly, without moving an inch even when Hayate pressed his face closer, peering at her ears and circling her like a predator.

"She even _sounds_ like Cool Blue Sky!"

Misaki must've detected Hotaru's murderous aura because she clapped her hands, "Hayate, last I heard, she's going out with Nogi. You know, that incredibly adorable bi-shounen with the bunny?"

Hayate's face darkened immediately and he whirled around to glare at me, "Is that _true_?!"

I frowned into his grey eyes, "Uh yeah?"

"Damn that bastard!" he growled, pounding a fist into his open palm, falling onto one of the plastic chairs. "That sick, animal-loving bastard bagged _my_ Cool Blue Sky?! Got her when _I_ wanted her, the pig!"

He bolted to his feet and declared, "I challenge him to a duel! For Cool Blue Sky's affections!"

"Her name's Hotaru, actually," I pressed, watching as Hotaru's face darkened even more.

"Hey," Misaki piped in, nodding her head in Hotaru's direction. "You should probably leave or something. When Hayate's hyped up, he gets insane-crazy."

Without another word, she was out the door and I waved to the group before following. From behind me though, I couldn't help a laugh when Hayate continued: "Do you think I can take the kid? I mean, he doesn't look too big and he may be a soccer player but I've always thought that a violinist was better equipped in battle because we have good lungs. Right?"

Needless to say, I liked them.

* * *

"Mikan-chan!"

I stopped in the middle of the hall and was roughly pushed to the wall by passersby as students streamed past in order to get out of school. I looked around to locate the voice but no familiar or friendly faces greeted me. The last bell had rung signalling our freedom and everyone was pushing and shoving to take advantage of the weekend, but that didn't keep me from wondering who'd called my name and why.

Scanning the crowd one last time, I hooked my backpack further onto my shoulder and shouldered my way back into the crowd leading to the front entrance of the school, ignoring the strong mixture of body odour, hair spray and a mix of cologne and perfume.

When I finally stepped onto the front steps of the school, I took a deep breath of the cool air and smiled, watching as everybody chatted and talked animately about their plans for the weekend and for the first time since I'd arrived, I was reminded of my old school. Even though I still got dubious looks from spectators around the school, for the most part, I was being treated as a human and it felt unusually _good_. I still wasn't used to the fact that people were actually interacting with me so when a few girls from my classes came up to me and started chatting like they hadn't treated me like a pariah for the last week, I couldn't help but be suspicious about their motives and maybe just a little rude to anyone that tried to get too close.

I don't think that'll ever change. The suspicion, that is.

"Mikan-chan!"

I blinked from my thoughts and looked up into the eyes of molten gray framed with dark black eyelashes. "Nobara, hey!" I grinned, walking up to the blushing girl with Aoi at her side. She brushed her array of messy bangs from her face before smiling a small smile.

"Um - I-I-" she bit her bottom lip and looked to the ground, pausing, "-Cong-gratulations - J-Juliet and the p-play ..." she murmured, blushing darkly, sinking her incisors into the skin of her lip again.

I laughed nervously and ran a hand through my hair, cringing, "Yeah, well I'd appreciate if you didn't bring that up until AFTER the weekend, when or if it sinks in better. Maybe if I can get my hands on Narumi's _neck_-"

She laughed loudly and instantly stopped, looking almost horrified at her unusually loud outburst.

I blinked. "Wow, you should laugh more often, Nobara," I commented in awe, patting her arm, "It lights up your face, you know."

"Yeah! Mikan-nee is totally right!" Aoi pressed, nudging Nobara in the side with her elbow. Nobara's blush deepened even more and I laughed before turning to Aoi who was insistently tugging on my sleeve.

"We are going to have _so_ much fun at dinner tonight!" she exclaimed with her hands clasped in front of her, a sigh breaking from her lips. Her eyes darkened with mischief, "I heard what you said about my brothers today," she winked conspiratorially, laughing. "You are _so_ in trouble! But don't worry!" she reassured at my nervous laugh, _"I'll protect you!"_

That didn't reassure me but truthfully, I tried to picture the Hyuuga boys' expressions but they didn't unnerve me in the least. Instead I nudged Aoi in the arm, "How about you come to my dorm and we hang out for a bit and go to dinner together, afterward?"

Her face paled and she let out a nervous laugh, backing away slowly while saying, "No, no. I can't! I always have -um- prior commitments after school until five, three times a week," she explained, raising three fingers to accompany her explanation, "so I can't today!" She seemed a bit sad, then thoughtful before she brightened exponentially, "But I'll see you at seven when we have dinner! Natsume-nii or Tsubasa-nii will pick you up!"

I wrinkled my nose, "Why would they have to pick me up?"

"Why?" Aoi frowned, "-to bring you to our house, of course! Since you can't drive and it'd be _awful_ if we made you walk! No, no - my brothers don't mind picking you up!" She opened her mouth to continue but looked past me and her smile turned into a full blown grin, "Oh, here's my ride now!"

"Oi," a voice interrupted rather rudely.

A chill ran up my back and my spine immediately tensed, alarms ringing in my head as I slowly turned around to face emotionless, red eyes. He walked with slow, long strides and a lazy gait, one hand tucked into his pocket and the other holding a rolled up manga before stopping in front of Nobara, murmuring something in her ear to which she flushed and nodded quickly. I barely caught her small voice answering in quiet whispers until he nodded curtly. He gestured to Aoi and walked away without so much as a glance in my direction. Truth be told, his reaction, or rather, lack thereof was a bit disappointing and definitely unexpected.

I expected angry words, a red face, hateful eyes, lips tight in a frown and maybe even a threat or physical harm.

What I got was silence, a blank expression, dull eyes: nothing.

* * *

  
I woke up to muffled raps on the door and when I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but blurs. I guess I shouldn't have tried to grope my way around my room to the door with impaired vision because it caused several trips and the purpling of my big toe after being stubbed a number of times before I wobbled my way out the door, blinking my vision back to normalcy.

The knocks on the door only grew louder.

"I'm coming!" I croaked, trying to mask the irritation from my voice. The knocks continued and I had to contain a shriek before wrenching the door open and coming face to face with two Hyuuga brothers.

"What took you so long, kiddo!?" Tsubasa chirped, waltzing through the doors and flopping onto the couch. "We were waiting out there for _hours_!"

I blinked blearily, barely registering the fact that two males had just taken refuge on my couch and were proceeding to surf the channels on my tv. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for a stupid girl to get ready for dinner," Natsume drawled from the couch, picking up one of my romance novels and starting to peruse through the book with a mocking eyebrow arched. He stopped every once and a while, his eyebrow raising a little more before he would scoff, repeating the process all over again. It would've made me laugh once upon a time if not for the fact that I was just a little annoyed. I looked at the clock.

"If you expect me to get ready, you should remove yourself from my room so I can - oh, I dunno - _change_?" I snapped, tapping my foot on the ground with the door open as an invitation for them to go into the living room.

Natsume glanced up for a second and said blandly, "I'd rather stay."

I groaned and flopped to the ground, looking up at Tsubasa with a pout. "Tsubasa-senpai, could you please get your smart-ass little brother out of my room?"

Without turning his gaze away from the television set, he answered, "I dunno. I wouldn't want anybody to think that Natsume and I are doing something _naughty_ in your hallway, do I?"

I swallowed and looked away from Natsume's gaze, which he'd redirected from the book in his hands to me. Did they have to make me feel _guilty_? It's not like they couldn't handle the situation easily anyway.

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, lifting my eyes up to glare right on back into Natsume's eyes.

I dished out my sharpest, iciest glare.

His eyes didn't waver one bit.

His bland gaze seemed to dare me to move my eyes away.

I've always been just a little stubborn.

The contest seemed to have lasted for hours but when I blinked, a little lightheaded and breathless, the time blinking on my alarm clock showed that it'd hardly lasted a minute. I could feel my face grow warm and thank God I turned away before my face turned full-blown tomato red. I huffed, glaring at the middle Hyuuga boy before walking once more to my closet, throwing the doors open.

"What am I supposed to wear to dinner?" I hissed over my shoulder. When neither boy answered, I twisted my head around to glare at the back of their heads. "The faster you tell me how formal this dinner is, the faster I can get dressed and out of here."

"Wear what you usually wear," Natsume answered in a bored mumble, once again perusing through my romance novel. "The dinner is for you. It's not like they're going to care about what you wear."

I shrugged, seeing the sense and grabbed a yellow sweater and my only pair of fitted jeans, resisting the urge to glare at the both of them before locking the bathroom door behind me and turning the tap on in order to muffle the sound of me changing. When the last button was in place and the zipper zipped, I ran a brush through my hair and gathered the whole thing up into a messy bun, pinning the loose ends with bobby pins and whatever else that could help the messy bed hair that I'd successfully achieved. Only when I was slightly satisfied, I threw the doors open and grabbed a pair of shoes.

"Let's go, boys!"

Tsubasa jumped, a bit startled by my outburst and I laughed at the look of confusion on his face. He looked back to the TV with a longing expression, his eyes glued to the soccer ball being kicked around and the score at a tie. "But - But -"

"We're going to be late," Natsume drawled, already standing with his hands in his pockets. "Let's get his over with."

I tugged Tsubasa away from the TV, leading him by the elbow out the door as he continued to twist his head to watch the game. It wasn't until Natsume flicked the game off did Tsubasa exhale an exasperated sigh. "He had the ball and there were twenty-two more minutes in the last half of the game!" he whimpered sulkily, hanging his head. "Fine, let's go. Natsume can drive."

I stilled instantly. "Are you serious?! He doesn't even have his permit for cars and all three of us can't fit on his motorcycle!"

Tsubasa laughed and started to pat my arm but I batted it away. "That is _illegal_!"

Begrudgingly, Tsubasa frowned and shot Natsume a withering glare. "You're much safer with Natsume driving. He's better than I am," he sulked.

I didn't waver. "I want you to drive, Tsubasa-senpai. Driving without a license is a crime and I _trust_ you more!"

Tsubasa grinned widely but frowned once again. "I've been in three car accidents in the past two months and I've been pulled over for speeding two times more than that," he informed with an unapologetic smile on his face. He looked past my shoulder and tossed the car keys over, "I'm not going to be the reason you don't make it to the dinner. Natsume, _you're_ driving."

"How about I walk?"

Natsume had an obnoxious smirk on his face and was already leading me out the door, pushing me into the halls as Tsubasa locked the door after us. A blue sports car was waiting outside and I didn't even bat an eyelash when Tsubasa opened the door with a flourish, mocking a bow before opening his own door. Natsume crawled into the driver's seat and started the engine. Instantly, some rock metal song came on to what I recognized to be Linkin Park or My Chemical Romance.

"This song is _awesome_!" Tsubasa bobbed his head, cranking up the music and pressing the windows down. From the backseat, I could see Natsume's eyes narrow in the rearview mirror.

"This is why you keep getting into accidents," Natsume drawled with a roll of his eyes, turning the music down before backing out of the parking spot. He shifted the stick and expertly peeled out of the lot, charging out of the campus and onto the open streets, rushing onto the highway.

"And you're going to get us in an accident if you keep driving at this speed, you insane moron!"

Tsubasa was singing off-key with his head bobbing in and out of the open window and Natsume looked into the rearview mirror in order to smirk at me with his eyes. "I'm not going to kill you," he said, as if it was obvious. "Or at least not in a car."

"Is that a threat?" I challenged, lifting my chin.

"Take it however you want to take it," he answered simply. "Just as long as you don't make another one of those ridiculous scenarios where my reputation is being shot to hell."

I rolled my eyes with a nervous laugh and playfully slapped him in the shoulder, the car jerking to the right before Natsume turned back into the right lane, glaring from the mirror. "I might not be trying to kill you but it seems like you sure as hell want to die in this car."

"Oops?"

Tsubasa hadn't stopped singing but presently, he'd put on a pair of earphones, the slightest hint of music still leaking out of the mini speakers.

"You're not actually angry about that, are you, Natsume?" I asked, looking out the windows and twiddling the drawstrings of my sweater with my fingers. I bit my lip, not really expecting his answer. After all, he hadn't even spared me a second glance after school.

I sighed, watching as the scenery passed with flashes of gray, "If you guys were going to be mad, I wouldn't have said it, you know. I only said it because I thought it wouldn't affect you. I mean, who in their right mind is actually going to believe that you and Tsubasa like having -_um_- _adventures_ together?"

He growled softly and the sound almost made me laugh.

"Honestly, Natsume. Tsubasa-senpai and Tono-senpai have different girlfriends every weekend and you - _well, okay_ - I can't prove a case for you but I find it almost impossible for you to be gay."

"Oh, that makes _everything_ better," he grumbled sarcastically, making a few turns.

I shrugged nonchalantly, "Has anyone actually gone up to you and asked? Have you seen anybody whisper or laugh at you or even glare at you after this? Frankly, I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, Natsume. You're probably the most popular guy in our grade. No one's going to listen to something _I_ say. I'm just the new girl, after all. It was just dumb luck that one of Luna's lackeys spilled or else it would've been all for nothing."

"No one has to believe it," Natsume pointed out, "They like to have a laugh and I don't like being the butt of everyone's jokes."

One eyebrow rose, "Let me guess. The people who laughed are your friends. The only people I can picture making fun of you is Koko, Ruka and Aoi."

His eyes narrowed darkly and his lips thinned to a small line. "You should watch out for, Akimoto," he warned instead, lifting his eyes to meet mine in the rearview mirror.

"Where the _heck_ did that come from?!" I said, trying to hide my confusion.

His eyes were back surveying the road and I frowned at his evasion. "Well, I for one, think that Akimoto-_kun_ is awesome. I mean, he's friendly, athletic, smart and he doesn't call me funny names and doesn't look at my bra-" An eyebrow rose "-Or if he does, he doesn't bring it up every time I see him. He's fun to talk to and no matter how many times everyone says something bad about him, he's still confident and friendly and cool."

His eyes narrowed and we would've been met with an awkward silence if not for Tsubasa's continuous off-key singing- _In the end, it doesn't even MATTER! Doesn't matt-!  
_Tsubasa was right. It didn't matter what they said about Akimoto. I wasn't going to stay away from him until I got some kind of proof that he was as bad as everybody -or at least the Hyuugas- were saying about him. It just wasn't fair. For him or for me.

After a few minutes more of silence, I looked away from the window, my anger dissipating into a calmer, more controlled level. "So what? Did Akimoto make fun of you, or what?"

No answer.

I might have imagined the tightening of leather that could've only come from the leather of the steering wheel under his white-knuckled hands. "No one actually believes you're gay, Natsume. And if Akimoto did poke fun at you, it couldn't have compared to what you said to Sumire and me."

I was referring to his constant offhanded teasing and I could tell from the way his eyes loosened that he still thought it was funny. What a weirdo.

"So, are we cool?" I asked, leaning my head back to rest against the headrest. I trained my eyes onto the rearview mirror but Natsume didn't bother looking up. Instead, he turned onto a gravel road and the car bumped along as a large house came into view.

"Well, aren't _you_ the talkative one," I commented sardonically, gouging his reaction.

No changes. He didn't even twitch to acknowledge me.

"So I was talking to Per- I mean Sumire the other day and she's _ecstatic_ that you're the Beast (he bristled)." I tried to keep the smile off my face, "If someone asked me, I'd say that you two would be an _awesome_ pair for the play! Aren't you excited to be acting opposite her?"

He frowned but didn't say a word.

At least I was getting _some_ kind of response!

I bit the skin of my cheek and closed my eyes, peeking just a bit to see his reaction. "She's a really good actor and she's shy (he snorted). And to add to it, she's an amazing friend, easy to talk to and she's beautiful! You're lucky you got the part, Natsume. You couldn't ask for a better partner than that!"

He didn't move other than to steer through the winding gravel road. As an afterthought, I leaned closer to him and sang, "Plus ... I think she liiiikes you!"

Nothing.

"Geez, Natsume. Sometimes you really make me wonder what it is about girls that you don't like. I mean, they're practically falling at your feet and here you are strangely aloof and ignoring all of them! Why don't you get a girlfriend or go on a date or something?" I breathed. I huffed against the back seat and looked out the window once again, watching as the large black and white home loomed closer. I rolled my eyes at Tsubasa's head bobbing and closed my eyes, not surprised when I didn't get an answer.

Honestly! I just don't understand why anybody, least of all why more than three quarters of the female population, could ever fall for someone as unsociable, arrogant and disgustingly rude as Natsume is. Was it just because of his looks? Because _that, _I could understand but other than looks, the apparent brain and the obvious athleticism, I couldn't think of anything deeper than what was painfully shallow.

My hands grew hot as I gripped the handle of the door tighter. He was just so -ugh- _infuriating_! His lack of responses made me go _crazy_ and the way he acted as if he was better than everyone else made me want to circle his neck and _squeeze_. Sure, it was kind of graphic but this guy deserved it!

"I don't-"

My eyes flashed darkly toward the rearview mirror and it took me a second to realize that it was Natsume talking.

"What? You don't _what_, Natsume?" I snapped, folding my arms across my chest and glaring vehemently at his eyes focused on the road.

He didn't answer immediately. He stopped the car in front of the stone steps of his enormous home and took the keys out of the engine, his eyes watching the valet and butler rushing to the car.

"I won't date just any girl," he replied in a low voice, his eyes flashed to hold mine in the rearview mirror. "I'm waiting for the right girl to come along."

He blinked and with that, he jerked Tsubasa's earphones out of his ears and got out of the car, striding toward the house and tossing the keys to the valet. I blinked in surprise and watched as Tsubasa did the same before turning back to look at Natsume's retreating figure. The valet opened my door with a bow. Tsubasa slapped the butler's back in a friendly manner and laughed loudly after a comment. I didn't even seem to register the valet taking my hand and leading me out of the car.

The valet seemed to be saying something to me, gesturing to the butler, "-and he'll take you to the dining room to make sure that you don't get lost. Do you understand, miss?"

I blinked when Natsume disappeared through the large wooden doors and frowned, "No, I don't," I muttered softly, "Because everytime I think I understand him, he says something stupid and loses me all over again..."

* * *

**Hehe, sorry? My author's notes will be in my profile from now on, everytime I update a chapter or something so that it doesn't clog my chapters all the time so if you want to know what's happening, that's where you should be going. =)**

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_

**_Q. Where in the world did Rui and Hayate come from!?_**

_A. Rui and Hayate aren't my characters, they are from Gakuen Alice and they are HILARIOUS Dangerous Ability types. I think they first appear when Natsume is looking for Aoi in the high school department, Youichi turns like... 13 or something and wow, it's hilarious. Check out chapters 60 and 61. In the manga, Hayate is actually head over heels for Hotaru because she looks like the protagonist of his favorite TV show. He frequently calls her "Cool Blue Sky" and I just think that's insane-funny! _

_Rui is very interested in bishounen, ie. cute boys and he's the one that gave Tsubasa the star tattoo on his cheek. He looks very much like a girl in the manga but in my story, let's just say he looks like a boy with very feminine features, he's gay and awesome, kay?_

**_Q. Why did Mikan say those things about the Hyuuga boys?_**

_A. She didn't actually think that anybody would believe it because it was so damn far fetched and she's certain that no one does believe it. That, and she thought that since the boys were so popular and cool, they'd be able to handle it better than Sumire and herself. She does feel bad but still doesn't understand why Natsume is making a big deal about it when she can't picture anybody coming up to him and asking if he's gay unless it was Koko, Aoi or Ruka._

**_Q. What's up with Sumire's pretty little tantrum?_**

_A. That's for me to know and for you to find out. _

**_Q. Seriously, what did Akimoto do?_**

_A. You'll find out in future chapters and just to let you know, none of your guesses were right. It kind of surprised me to find out that you all, or at least most of you, thought that it was because Akimoto raped Aoi or dumped her or something. Though I can sort of see your train of thought, that's not what I have in mind for our brown-haired buddy. Oh, and I'd like to add that Akimoto is VERY popular. His popularity rivals Natsume's because he actually interacts with people whereas Natsume brushes everyone off who aren't his friends._

**_Q. Why should we review your damn story when you took two freakin' months to update?_**

_A. Because I'm really sorry and I made the chapter extra long? =)_

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_My Hopeless Romantic_


	11. Can't Take It

**Disclaimer: **My Hopeless Romantic does not own Gakuen Alice.

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**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIDNIGHTTAIYOU!_**

* * *

_You speak to me_

_I know this will be temporary_

_You ask to leave,_

_but I can tell you that I've had enough_

_I can't take it_

_This welcome is gone and_

_I've waited long enough to make it_

_"Can't Take It" — **The All American Rejects**_

**Chapter Eleven: Can't Take It**

It took only four steps, three seconds, two blinks and a frown for me to realize that the Hyuugas were blowing this _"Hero"_ dinner _way_ out of proportion. Instead of what I'd imagined to be a dinner with Aoi's parents and brothers, there must've been an extra twenty or thirty friends, or whoever, who seemed to have the preposterous idea that they'd be staying for dinner, too.

Maybe Aoi misunderstood and the dinner was supposed to be scheduled for _next_ Friday.

That sounded about right to me, at least.

I was aware of the unnatural silence within the household and couldn't help cringing when I heard the low, long whistle from behind me and Tsubasa's dry comment that followed: "Oh, mother of Pearl's steel knickers, what was she _thinking_?"

The silent house seemed to flicker with recognition and delight; several voices speaking at once:

"Tsubasa and Natsume are here! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Now that is really something, isn't it Otanashi? Usually it's one or the other; never both."

"Tsubasa! Hey, it's been a long month, son!"

"I wonder how raspberries would taste if they were dipped in honey and mustard…"

Tsubasa chuckled uncertainly and I shared a look of confusion with him before he shrugged, rubbing his neck with a barely hidden grimace on his face. His eyebrows rose in an apologetic gesture and mouthed a_ "Sorry!"_ in my direction. I froze and bit my lip when the voices stopped abruptly.

It was nothing like the movies where I turned my head in slow motion and saw the looks of surprise and then delight flicker across the few faces I could actually see. Their gazes weren't friendly and nor were they very hostile. They weren't warm, nor were they very inviting.

The silence was almost painful and I swear I could hear Tsubasa's heartbeat from beside me.

My throat went dry upon seeing the number of eyes that immediately honed onto me with their speculative glances. Some were narrowed, others were bored but others still, were merely looking for the sake of looking at _something_. It made me feel like a freak on exhibition.

It took me five awkward handshakes, four offhand compliments about my sweater, three whispers: '_She's not family.' 'Why's she here?' 'Unless, Aunt Miki popped out another one while we weren't looking_…'_,_ two nervous mothers chuckling and another awkward step back before I fully understood the gravity of this strange moment.

This had to be some kind of family gathering and I had no idea why I'd be invited to something as … _personal_ as this.

There were people everywhere. In front of me and behind, to both sides and clustered into doorways and some even shifting on the stairs. Actually, there was only one person on the stairs with a shoulder in view but that meant a person was there, nonetheless.

Though many expressions displayed their open curiosity to my presence, the majority of the group had weary, almost impassive miens on their faces. It wasn't their slight variations of cool detachment that surprised me the most or the startlingly vivid eye colors that ranged from blues and grays to purples and reds; but the obvious way they stood, clustered and poised with tension and discomfort.

And despite the fact that I was an outsider looking into the Hyuuga family household for the first time, I had an intuitive feeling that it wasn't just my presence that made them so uncomfortable.

The silence was startled by a confident albeit shrill voice.

"Oh, dear. What _awful_ clothes to be wearing to dinner. Must all city girls wear such … _rugged_ clothing? " clucked the voice from somewhere to my right. There was a round of stiff nods and withdrawn chuckles before I turned to the voice and smiled weakly at an elderly woman whose hair had grayed, whose face sported wrinkles around her eyes and cheeks and whose skin looked incredibly sallow and flimsy. The old woman was being supported by two young boys who held her arms, looking bored and anxious to be released from their job.

It wasn't until I zoned back to the present did I realize that the house was silent once again. I blinked when the nudge from a woman to my left prompted me to speak. "Umm… I…"

"Are you illiterate or mute, young lady?" the shrill voice grated irritably. She surprised me by wrenching her arms roughly away from the hands holding onto her, mostly because she looked to be such an old lady. The boy to her right immediately shoved a cane in her hands and the woman shrank against the piece of impeccably strong wood before narrowing her eyes on me, once again. "When I speak to you, I expect straight answers."

I frowned, noticing most of the older men had wandered back to another room and some whispered, unimpassioned laughter following them. Most of the ladies, however, stayed back along with Tsubasa. There was another nudge to my forearm before the young woman to my left whispered, "Speak to Grandmother."

I inhaled deeply before turning my gaze back to Grandmother, trying not to cringe at her openly hostile expression. "I'm very much literate and far from mute, ma'am," I answered, trying to keep my expression even.

She turned her head to the side to look at somebody before snorting a retort which turned into a rough cough. Two women rubbed her back in slow circles and I heard somebody sigh, _"Oh, Grandmother…"_

Grandmother straightened suddenly, cheeks pale and with her gravelly voice, her eyes scrutinized me before her eyebrows rose with distaste, "And how do you explain your attire at our monthly dinner, young lady? This is a sacred family event. Surely you know that Hyuugas don't tend to riffraff."

_Riffraff_?

I sucked in a breath of surprise before I clamped my lips shut, willing the snarky remark on the tip of my tongue to settle down to my belly. The underlying spell of anger wouldn't go down without a fight, I knew, but I tried rather weakly to suppress it. Trash—she had just called me _trash_. I was barely able to keep my confusion in check, furrowing my eyebrows to wonder… Trash? Just because I was wearing a sweater and jeans to dinner, this old lady was calling me _trash_? It was unbelievable!

There was a shuffle of feet from behind me and I didn't turn my gaze until I heard Tsubasa speaking, "Grandmother, it's really not her fault. We didn't know tha-"

"Silence, Tsubasa son-of-Hyuuga," she interrupted sharply, tapping her cane twice on the ground. "You will not speak unless spoken to or at least not with your Grandmother, you won't."

He sighed and with another rustle of fabric, he muttered, "Yes, Grandmother."

Containing myself, I straightened a little when Grandmother immediately turned her gaze on me and prompted an answer with another, "_Well_?"

I straightened up and met her bold gaze. Picking my words carefully, I clenched my jaw and said, "I can assure you, Mrs. Hyuuga, that I had no idea there would be such a large gathering for dinner. I was given the _impression_," I stressed, seeing Aoi appear at the base of the stairs wearing a little black dress, "—that it would be a small dinner for five. Imagine my pleasant surprise seeing the whole Hyuuga clan (there was a gruff scoff at the word clan) here, too."

The old lady harrumphed and a commotion in the background caught my attention.

Aoi was paler than usual and once she'd seen that my attention was on her, she started making intricate gestures in the air behind her grandmother's back, jumping slightly on one foot and shaking her head. She passed a hand past her neck and lolled her head to the side and I didn't know what the _heck_ she was trying to say. She proceeded to do a vomiting motion before turning to look at the person on the stairs with an earnest expression on her face. I frowned and turned back to the old lady, squaring my shoulders, "I'm sorry if this may sound rude but I've never eaten dinner wearing fancy dresses at candlelight or making my hair look like _that_ for one night. To be honest, it sounds a little pointless to me."

There was a soft mutter from somewhere behind me and I sighed, wringing my hands and looking to the white ceiling for a few seconds before looking back at Grandmother.

"We Hyuugas like to look our best at every given time," she informed tartly, holding onto the cane, one hand on top of the other. "That includes dinner."

"If it's just a dinner with family, why in the world would you have to make such an effort to dress formally when it's supposed to be with _family_? Dinner with my family consists of Chinese on Fridays in our pajamas on the couch with the tube on—because I thought…" I pressed my lips together and tried to phrase the thoughts in my head more politely but the look on the old lady's face made my heart increase in speed, "-I mean, aren't you supposed to be at your most comfortable at family dinners?"

I could feel the heat on my face and cursed my momentary loss of thought. Nobody moved except for Aoi jumping lightly on the tips of her feet and the disappearance of the shoulder from the staircase.

I looked at Grandmother, the head of the household, (I presumed) expectantly but her dark blue eyes never wavered and for an old lady, she was composed and standing elegantly for somebody leaning against a cane. Her lips never twitched but stayed in their straight line, pursed and thinned. Even her eyebrows, that a moment before were raised with inquiry, remained still against her pale, starchy white skin. A pale tongue wet her dry lips before a smirk lit her face, just the slightest.

She lowered her eyelashes and in a sickeningly sweet voice, she said, "Get out."

The atmosphere seemed to thrum like a heart beat but all remained deathly silent. I had to blink a few times to get over the initial shock and when I did, I turned to leave the deafening silence of the Hyuuga household behind. But before I closed the door completely behind me, I stopped. Resisting the urge to say something more, I told myself that comments were unnecessary and closed the door with a solid click of the lock.

Though, no matter how hard I tried or confused I was, I couldn't shake the fleeting disappointment when no one tried to stop me from walking out the door.

* * *

I wouldn't say that I was angry at the old Hyuuga woman for her abrupt command but nor could I say that I was happy with her decision. To be perfectly honest, I was surprised—so surprised, in fact, that I could feel the shock deep within my bones.

I stood uncertainly on the stairs in front of the large doors before the feeling of embarrassment slowly trickled into my mind and, taking note of the sun's slow rotation and the fact that its departure was a few minutes away, I looked around the Hyuuga property in front of me before starting the slow walk to only God knew where.

The red bricked road that wound from the roundabout driveway encircled a quaint garden with a bird bath to both sides and a large fountain in the middle in the shape of a Phoenix, but I stared without seeing as I walked by it all.

Was it strange that I felt a bit relieved when the flickering thought of not having to sit through what would have been an awkward dinner ran past my mind? The thought of having dinner with just the Hyuuga parents already made me reluctant but with the majority of the Hyuuga clan? It _definitely_ wasn't a part of my plans.

Then again, being told to just "_Get_ _out_" of somebody's house was more than a little bruise on my already depleting ego. Saying those things may have been rude and probably uncalled for, but I couldn't shake the peculiar feeling that the atmosphere in their home seemed just a little too tense to be normal. It may be none of my business but my short time in their house made me infinitely conscious of the fact that something just didn't seem… right.

And then there was a whole different, nagging feeling at the back of my mind: a feeling that made me wonder why I even _cared_. What the Hyuugas did on their own time and turf didn't even involve me.

So why then, did I feel so curious?

A burst of chilly air blew past my face, the light brush of my messily tied hair against the sensitive skin of my neck sent shivers down my spine. I pulled the zipper of my sweater up before stuffing my hands deep into the pockets and slowly dragged my feet down the driveway. Even with my thoughts, I realized that I hadn't even made it quarter of the way down the Hyuuga driveway. The gravel road just a few meters away reminded me of the long walk ahead.

Briefly, I thought of asking for a drive back to the dorms but as quickly as it had come, the thought vanished. My cheeks burned with embarrassment at the thought of walking back to the house I'd just been booted out of and asking for a ride back to my dorms like a dog with its tail between its legs. I had more dignity than that but it didn't stop me from imagining some sort of miracle ride back.

I sighed and wrinkled my nose at the distance, kicking at a patch of rocks to ease my growing agitation. "Oh, what did you get yourself into, Mikan? What in the _world_ were you thinking? If you'd just slept and ignored the knocks on your door, you wouldn't be in this mess. Better yet, if you hadn't given Aoi the stupid idea that you'd go to the dinner in the first place, you wouldn't have to walk all the way back to your dorm. Oh no, if you had just said "No!" and ignored those puppy dog eyes and that sickeningly sweet voice, you'd be finishing 'Lock and Key' under a pile of blankets with a cup of hot chocolate but no, no… life doesn't work that way for you, does it? You just _love_ putting yourself into these situations, don't you? You are probably the most idiotic, submissive pushovers the world has ever known and a—_whoa_! Whoa, no!"

I froze on the spot.

Dog.

A huge, ginormous—no—_gigormous_ dog was loping its way toward me. The messy coat of dark chocolate, almost black fur didn't mask the obviously large paws and claws. Ears alert, tongue dangling from open jaws and a row of sharp, jugular ripping teeth were distinctly lined up into two rows of flesh ripping precision. A chill of fear paralyzed my spine as my eyes zeroed onto the easy movement of his legs, especially the ripple of pure strength that came from the open dexterity of the animal's hind legs. It was probably only five meters away before I glimpsed the large, dark irises of the dogs' eyes flashing—insanely enough—what seemed to be a look of haughtiness.

It was a low, keening growl from deep down the dog's throat that made my legs quiver and my brain snap back to reality. It was sauntering closer, its head moving back and forth when I squeaked pathetically, "Stop! Halt!… S-Stay!"

It cocked its head to the side, making an attempt to follow my orders before he—there was valid evidence (down there) from my standpoint that made it obvious that the dog was a male—jerked back up, picking up speed; feinting to the left before pouncing from a powerful push of its hind legs.

I didn't remember how far he jumped or what lay around me because by then, I'd screamed and closed my eyes, the vague memory of covering my face with both hands so that the dog wouldn't rip out my eyes seemed like a fleeting skip of a nightmare. The dark weight of the animal pushed me heavily on the chest and a ripping growl seemed to split my ears. My heart stopped and the breath escaped my lips when my back hit the ground. A vision of nothing but blackness was the only thing I could see before I felt my ears throbbing and bouts of flashing white lights dancing behind my closed lids. I groaned in pain.

My head throbbed and felt unusually light.

There seemed to be a large pressure against my chest.

I couldn't be sure if I was breathing or not.

And then, I wondered why I suddenly felt so warm.

Vaguely, like it was miles away, I could hear the keening howl of the dog before I felt the pressure on my chest lessening and the heaviness of my eyelids prevented me from snapping them open after hearing my own, wild gasp. I could feel my eyelashes fluttering against my cheekbones just the slightest—hell, I was _commanding_ myself to open my eyes—but I couldn't see _anything_. I was blinking but I couldn't _see_ anything! Had the dog somehow ripped my eyes open without me feeling it? Somehow I doubted that actually happened. Though the dog looked rabid enough, my head hadn't hurt _that_ badly.

I tried to move my arms and twitch my fingers when the dog started growling again, nudging my arm roughly. I blinked some more. Whimpering, I blinked again rapidly, trying to dispel the rapid lightness in my head. I couldn't even _think_. My head felt like a thick puddle of molasses and the dog kept _growling_ at me! What'd it want to do? Try to beat me when I was already down? C'mon!

I stopped trying to blink my vision back and focused on slowly easing my breathing. The dog whimpered and howled again, nudging me in the leg. I jiggled it a bit.

"No—go away," I groaned, rolling my head to the side when I felt the ultra hot dog breath on my face. A searing hot tongue licked the length of my neck before I sputtered onto my elbows with a nauseating jolt. I blinked, surprised at the blurs of slow vision that centered on the dark form of the dog. He licked my hand and I tried to blindly move backwards. "No! Shoo, doggy! Shoo!"

The dog's barks made bouts of white lights flash before my eyes and I groaned, putting my head into the palms of my hands, trying to will the dark headache that was literally blinding me. "Go away, please," I groaned when I felt the hot tongue burning against the back of my hand. "No, stop. You know… this is all y-your fault, right?"

I turned my head in the general direction I figured the dog to be and before I could say another word, dog breath and tongue fanned the length of my cheek and I yelped, sitting on my butt, instantly having to rest one cheek against my folded knees. "Yeah, this is your fault. If you hadn't mauled me with your paws I wouldn't have this _gigormous_ migraine."

He barked and nudged me roughly in the shoulder, tipping me toward the ground before I stopped the fall with the palm of my hand. "Hey, cut it out!"

Low growls that reminded me of the one that sent me toppling to the ground made my eyes open with surprising speed. Big brown eyes looked at my face, black tail swishing with delight. "You're a silly dog, you know."

He snarled, long incisors gleaming before another low growl escaped its throat and I sighed before resting my cheek once again on my kneecaps, keeping my eyes trained on him. It seemed a little smaller than I'd imagined in the heat of the moment and couldn't have been taller than my hips. His fur coat was a shiny black that gleamed proudly under the sun's last dying rays and the playful whip of his tail told me that he hadn't intended to harm me.

Or at least I hoped not.

He put both paws on my shoes before sinking his teeth into the denim of my jeans (and slightly into my skin) and started wiggling his head back and forth, trying to pull me to my feet. "Hey! No, what are you doing?"

He let go and barked, growling when I didn't get to my feet. Sighing and willing the slight throb of my ears to subside, I put a hand on the ground and wearily got up, tottering so much that I had to put a hand on the dog's head to steady myself. He nudged me so hard at the back of my knee; it almost made me topple to the ground all over again. "Ouch! No, stop!"

He nudged me again, tail continuing to wag about as he barked and pushed his nose into my thighs, spurring me forward until I was stumbling up the gravel road. "Stop pushing me! No!"

I looked back at him, struggling to breathe and keeping my legs moving as he barked at my heels. He was chasing me back to the _freakin'_ house. This was beyond embarrassing. I halted but another nudge made me stumble over one of the stones lining the garden but I caught myself before fixing an icy glare at the dog's innocent expression. "I know you did that on purpose," I growled in a low voice, trying to convince myself that I wasn't talking to a dog. "Now stop playing and leave me _alone_!"

He shrunk back with a whimper and then snarled anew, digging a claw into the ground before doing the left and right feinting that reminded me of a football player. Cold sweat made me shiver, "No, bad boy! Bad dog!"

With a bark, he nudged me harder than any nudge before it and I cursed at my blindness; I should've been taking note of my surroundings when a crazy dog was at my heels. With a yelp, a cold blanket enveloped my mind and the next moment, I was aware of the shrill wail of an alarm and that I was dripping wet.

Twilight approached.

From under dripping wet bangs, I flicked my head to the side in order to dislodge the water that had instantly flowed into my ears and sputtered a cough. The dog yipped with delight and ran back and forth in front of me, seemingly pleased in having pushed me into the fountain. Yes, the beautiful fountain that I'd ogled without seeing earlier had just aided in this devil-dog's antics.

The wail of the alarm made my ears ring and it was only when the alarm abruptly stopped, did I look up at the shrill gasp from afar. The giant front doors were open wide and while I did expect somebody to come and investigate the reason as to why the alarms had rung, I didn't expect a line of _guard dogs_ to come prancing from the side of the house.

Everything just seemed to love me today. Why else would I be subjected to the sweet torture and embarrassment that came with the elderly Hyuuga woman hobbling out onto the top of the stairs to stare at me from afar? I jumped up from the fountain and flicked my hair out of my eyes once more before I fidgeted with the edge of my sweater, trying to wring out the water.

"Mikan, are you okay! Nee-chan!"

I breathed an annoyed sigh when the dog started his insistent nudges and arrogant growls and I heard Aoi gasp an, _Oh my!_ when I turned up, dripping on their stairs with the dog still pushing me forward: into the house. "Can… _ouch_! … somebody get this _dog_ off my leg please?" I groaned, stumbling after another push. "He won't cut it out!"

He circled my legs and barked, low and long and I looked up at Aoi with a plea for her to help me. She turned and looked at her Grandmother and I, too, looked at her, wondering if she'd called on the dog to perform this charade in order to embarrass me even further.

"Grandmother, can't she stay? Even Senshi-kun wants her to stay! And you know he doesn't like anybody excep—"

"Enough."

My eyebrow twitched at the calm command and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes when family members parted in order for Grandmother to see Natsume's figure leaning casually against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

I was infinitely aware of the water dripping off of my face and the uncomfortable grate of my wet clothes that came with being soaked to the bone. But even more so, I was aware that Natsume had just pulled on dress pants paired off with a dark blue dress shirt and a fitted black suit vest.

I watched as he fixed his gaze on his Grandmother, breaking the silence to say impassively, "Dinner is getting cold."

Upon the slow mutters of agreement, I heard Aoi's positive exclamation from behind me and wondered what _that_ was supposed to mean.

Hobbling steadily with her cane, Grandmother shot me a look of disdain before heading off in Natsume's direction and I heard her low, displeased command, "I want to _chat_ with you, son." She hooked her arm through Natsume's and the both of them disappeared into a side door before the chatter of the grown ups faded as they went to what I assumed to be the dining room.

"Oh my gosh, Mikan-sama!" Aoi exclaimed, taking a hold of my freezing wet hands and peering, earnest and apologetically, into my eyes. "I didn't know that our monthly dinner was today! Honest! Mum said to invite you over this Friday and I guess it slipped her mind, too."

And for once, I was glad that the Hyuugas were rich.

They had new, unused underwear.

* * *

I was currently seated in between a young girl in her late teens and a boy about a year or two older than me at the dinner table. To say that I was uncomfortable was an understatement. Every brush of the boy's arm made me want to shrink away and every mutter from the girl to my other side made me want to melt into a puddle of nothingness. The only good thing was, the friendliest face in the room was sitting right across from me: Aoi's.

I felt ridiculous.

Not only was I intruding on a family dinner when I wasn't even part of the Hyuuga family, but I was wearing a nice dark blue dress and flats when I'd explicitly told Grandmother earlier that I'd never dressed up for a family dinner in my life.

Mrs. Hyuuga, Aoi's mother, had immediately taken me to Aoi's room in order to shove me into the bathroom, leaving me to take the fastest shower in my life, while she laid out clothes for me to wear for dinner, saying just how _wonderful_ they'd look on me. It wasn't because I was a tomboy or ashamed of being a girl that I didn't like to wear pretty dresses and fancy skirts. It wasn't even because I was poor; my mom was a notable author and my dad had been a freelance artist in which the Prime Minister of France had even taken a liking to, though it had all been a hush-hush matter. Embarrassingly enough, it was because I was uncomfortable with how _drafty_ it could be when wearing skirts and dresses. Which was the reason I'd given to Aoi's mother who had laughed with sympathy before handing me a pair of Aoi's spandex shorts.

It was better than nothing.

"I wonder what color a carrot would be if it grew from within a rose's petals… blue… I'd expect… or perhaps maroon… What do you think, Mikan Sakura-san?"

I turned to the girl beside me who'd introduced herself in somewhat of a daze as Otanashi, and watched as she shook her mane of silver hair before staring dreamily at the different pots of flowers that surrounded the room. Without waiting for an answer, she started muttering some more, "What… will they taste like, I wonder…"

"O'nashi," murmured the boy from my other side, "Keep your thoughts to yourself."

Without giving the indication that she'd heard him, Otanashi closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, blinking. "It seems… like Grandmother and Natsume-san have finished with their discussion. Dinner …" she mumbled, folding her hands serenely in her lap, "—should be served in three minutes." She paused briefly, clicking her tongue lightly, two times before muttering, "I wonder… why Grandmother seems so …_weary_."

I stiffened, suddenly extremely uncomfortable when I swept the room with my eyes and noted that Grandmother and Natsume were still nowhere to be seen. "Otanashi-san, I'm confused. How could you possibly know—"

"She has the freakish ability to predict the very near future," drawled the boy to my side. He had windswept black hair and startlingly clear gray eyes and a permanent scowl on his face. His slouched form against the chair and his turned up nose gave me the impression that he wasn't very sociable and when he didn't continue or add anything to his comment, I pursed my lips.

"Is she usually right?"

His eyes rolled lazily to glance in my direction, annoyed. Then he turned away without replying with an answer. I frowned.

"She's never been wrong, Mikan-nee," Aoi answered in his stead. I looked over and she rolled her eyes, glancing at the brooding boy to my side before saying, "Seiji-kun likes to keep to himself an—"

The light chatter in the room quickly died down as Natsume appeared, towing Grandmother easily to her chair at the head of the table. Natsume took the seat to Grandmother's left and Tsubasa took her other side.

True to Otanashi's word, the lines on Grandmother's face had deepened and from my place about seven seats away from her, I could feel the strain of her posture and the slight rouge of her cheeks. Glancing quickly to Natsume, he seemed to be as unaffected as always, nodding his head at one of his uncles' comments and replying quietly in return as the servers brought out a round of plates with steaming hot food.

Wine flowed like water and I gawked, watching as Aoi and Natsume drank underage. In fact, almost everybody, safe for the six children under seven or eight years old were drinking wine and I fought the reprimand back down my throat by biting the inside of my cheek, managing to ask for a glass of soda, instead. It was hard to pretend to not see the inquisitive stares that my request brought but I managed, barely swallowing the fish and the spicily garnished vegetables.

Aoi spoke animatedly, Otanashi murmured as if she was in a dream and Seiji slouched even further into his seat, refilling his wine glass several times in less than an hour. Tsubasa was trying to hide his boredom, quickly pulling his elbow off the table after a sharp rebuke and Natsume was listening without a change of facial expression to his uncle and mother about something that I couldn't have heard if I tried.

The clink of the wineglass repeatedly sounded and I looked up from my almost untouched plate to see Grandmother putting the wineglass down. She cleared her throat and Seiji muttered an oath before he too sat up and listened. I froze when she looked at me with something akin to a sneer.

"It has come to my attention that our … _guest_ here was invited under the most special of circumstances," she announced, looking swiftly around the table, settling momentarily on me before she regarded the rest of the family. "It seems we have a hero in our midst," she paused again. Then with an almost innocent edge to her voice, "—but I find it hard to believe that the young lady over there was truly capable of saving young Aoi from three teenage boys who _must_ have been far stronger than she."

"She did!"

There were exclamations of surprise and Aoi's expression was a mixture of pride and confusion, her gaze trained on her Grandmother and I wondered what she'd say to what Aoi had just exclaimed. I swallowed weakly and laid down the chopsticks, taking a sip of the carbonated drink before folding my hands in my lap, smiling decrepitly at curious stares.

"Doesn't anybody else find it strange that the young lady was there _right_ when young Aoi needed her? From what I've been told, it was very early in the morning and most… _girls_… her age would rather be sleeping or doing whatever young ladies do nowadays instead of wandering the school grounds at five in the morning," she said succinctly, seemingly puzzled.

"She'd been jogging that morning, Grandmother," Tsubasa answered with a hint of exasperation. "And she probably heard Aoi's cries for help."

"Oh, but if this is a hero's story, might we hear the story from the hero herself?" Grandmother declared fluidly, clasping her hands together and playing the perfect role of the attentive listener. "I know I, for one, would love to hear the riveting tale of a young teenage girl. Unless of course, there isn't anything riveting about it."

Seiji cursed, taking a long swig of his wine before grumbling, "Why'd you have to come? I swear, if this dinner extends 'til midnight, I'm going to throttle somebody."

"Grandmother, I can assure you that Mikan-nee had only the best intentions! That's just the kind of person she is, Grandmother, really," Aoi voiced clearly, clutching her napkin in a deathly grip. "I can't help but feel uncomfortable at the thought that you expect she had motives far more complex for _saving_ me."

Aoi pursed her lips and I watched as Grandmother took a sip of her wine. "Young Aoi, I hope you're not accusing me of something that isn't true. Dear, is it wrong for an old woman to be curious?"

Aoi turned her gaze to the tablecloth and muttered, "My apologies, Grandmother. I was merely displaying my open opinion about Mikan-chan. She went out of her way to—"

"Could there be a possibility that young Aoi hadn't needed to be saved in the first place?" Grandmother pondered aloud. "It's even possible that the young lady had sent the three herself. So many possibilities…"

"I would never associate myself with people with moral issues," I hissed darkly. "I didn't _know_ the three boys and _yes_, they were stronger than me, which goes to show how I sprained my ankle afterwards, trying to run away because I was so frea—" I bit my lip and inhaled deeply, rephrasing, "so _terrified_ at the time."

"Why were you awake so early in the morning? Surely you couldn't have come upon the scene by _coincidence_…" Grandmother commented dryly.

I clenched my fist and settled my unwavering glare at the old woman. "I woke up and couldn't sleep. It'd been some time since I'd run and since I've been longing to get active, I started that day with an early morning run. As for your question about the probability of me stumbling upon the scene, I can't be sure. I was—_am_—the new girl in school and going out for a run outside of school grounds didn't seem like a good idea to me."

She snorted, muttering distinctly loud enough for the room to hear, "Oh, she just _happened_ to decide to jog on that _exact same day. _Coincidences, coincidences." Then, she paused in her questioning, leaving me to catch my breath but the determined expression on the old lady's face prevented me from looking anywhere else but at her. I still couldn't believe I was being questioned for saving Aoi. Was this normal and I was just overreacting? Or was I just imagining the fact and _feeling_ that Grandmother was looking for a reason to hate me?

An elbow jostled me gently and I blinked, turning to look at Seiji until he interrupted with a whisper, "No, stay there. Keep looking at her. But this time, pay attention," he mumbled quietly. "She'll start questioning you when you least expect it."

With a quick nod of my head, I focused on Grandmother and realized that she'd taken her seat and that the lines of her forehead were knitted with concentration. It wasn't until I reached for my soda did she ask, "Why?"

With the rim of the glass a hairs breath from my lips, I lowered it, confused, "Why, ma'am?"

"Why did you save her?"

I blinked with surprise, even more confused and I heard Aoi mutter darkly, "What the _hell_ kind of question is that?"

The house was filled with rustles of fabric and the atmosphere made the sensitive hairs on my arms stand up. I didn't quite know how to answer the question. Did she want to know why I'd run in to help? Or did she want to know why I'd chosen the course of action that I'd taken? Or was she even wondering why I'd bothered to help Aoi, specifically? It was all just too confusing.

"It really is just a simple question," Grandmother tutted wearily, mocking my thoughts to the point of freakiness.

Seiji muttered, "Every second leads to midnight," before he took a swig of his wine again.

"Mikan-nee, just say whatever's on your mind," Aoi urged in a tight voice. She'd left her food long ago and the tablecloth was no longer in her furious grasp. Instead, she sat, poised with tension and an uncharacteristic frown on her face. The dim lighting seemed to mask the emotion in her eyes.

When I looked back at Grandmother, I couldn't help but dislike the power that she seemed to have over the family. It was like they were all scared to speak for risk of being punished and it was disconcerting that the longer I stayed here, the further the family was breaking apart. Unless this was normal dinner conversation, which I highly doubted. I felt the urge to laugh: I _definitely_ wouldn't be invited back over. Not that I'd accept if I was. This was _way_ too much trouble and even if the drama in books seemed to be appealing, it was different to the drama in reality. Way different.

My throat was dry but I licked my lips, looking at Grandmother with conviction. I could feel my fingers shaking as I clasped them together. Was I shaking from anger or anxiety? It didn't matter. Because my heart was pounding loudly in my ears and my skin felt hot, almost prickly with emotion.

I narrowed my eyes and trying not to hiss, I said, "It was the right thing to do, in my opinion. If somebody is in danger, I can't be expected to just hide behind a tree and watch it happen! Nor could I ever turn my back and pretend to have seen nothing. That's even worse than doing whatever they were going to do, myself! As for why I ran in to intervene instead of getting help, I can't be sure. At the heat of the moment, my brain works without me and does whatever the hell it wants to. I may not be much, maybe just a common city girl or whatever you feel like believing, but I'm not some kind of demented person that expects you to bow down to my actions or to thank me. I wouldn't have even given it a second thought if we all just went on with our lives and pretended the incident never happened because I'm sure if I'd stayed in and slept like some of the other girls, as you mentioned earlier, somebody else would've done the exact same thing that I'd done. If you pictured the scenario in your own mind, you'd realize that it was the obvious course of action instead of implying that I did it for some other reasons!"

My hands shook and there was a pressure against the back of my eyes that made them sting and taking a deep breath, I looked away from Grandmother's deep blue eyes and, surprised at the clarity in my voice, I said quietly, "I think it's time for me to leave. Thank you for the dinner."

And I ran out of the dining room, ignoring the draft that immediately went up the dress and thanked the maid for bringing my clean, freshly dried clothes. When I was out the door and breathing the cool air, I pulled on my sweater and pulled on my jeans under the dress until the only thing that was in the bag was a t-shirt, my underclothes and shoes.

Horrified that there were tears in my eyes, I wiped them away with the back of my hand and didn't look twice at the large house behind me or the long road ahead; I just walked. It wasn't until I heard the purr of what could only be Natsume's motorcycle did I groan, stopping to turn and see him riding up. He slid the viser of his helmet up to reveal his startlingly clear eyes and said, "I'll drive you back."

And I nodded without a thought, pulling on the helmet he offered and throwing my leg over the motorcycle. Winding my hands around his stomach, I leaned my cheek against his back and cried all of the frustration and all of the confusion out of me as he drove down the driveway and into the night time traffic.

* * *

We walked into _House of Meat_, a burger place, Natsume told me, gathering stares that made me shift with unease. I understood how we would have garnered a lot of stares, since Natsume was still dressed in his dinner clothes and I was wearing a beautiful dress over a pair of jeans and under a vibrant yellow sweater but I wondered why they kept staring after the initial glance.

"Maybe we should just go, Natsume. We just had dinner and now we're eating again. This is so silly," I mumbled, waiting in line beside him.

He didn't turn his head but shrugged, "You didn't eat anything at dinner."

"Because I wasn't hungry."

The wonderful smell of chicken made my mouth water and I suddenly became aware of the black hole that was my stomach. So maybe I was just a little hungry. That didn't mean that I couldn't scrounge for some food when I got back to my room. I voiced out my thoughts and Natsume snorted, peering at me with annoyed eyes. "You paid for me last time and I won't let it happen again," he muttered darkly shifting forward in the line. After a pause and reluctance, he turned his gaze away from my direction and added, "It was a long night. I'm starving, too."

And that was that.

We took our meals in paper bags and put them at the back of the motorcycle before Natsume drove us back to Alice Academy, parking in front of my dorm so that I could get out. It was only when I was halfway to the dorm entrance with my bag of clothes and food in hand did my stomach drop to my feet and a flush of embarrassment coloured my face.

"Um, Natsume?"

He shifted, his foot dropping back to the ground before he took a hand off one of the handles and muttered, annoyed, "What?"

I shuffled my feet and looked up, biting my lip. "I didn't bring my keycard with me."

He stiffened and snapped his gaze up to my face before kicking the stand of his motorcycle down. "Imai and Shouda?"

"They're gone 'til Sunday."

He paused, then kicked his kickstand back up before twisting his body to open up the compartment in the back to get the helmet. "You'll sleep on the couch."

* * *

"You can sleep in my room, Mikan!" Koko exclaimed, immediately offering once I'd told Ruka and Koko my situation. Natsume had dropped his bag of food on the coffee table in front of the TV and headed to what was probably his room to change. Koko had been wearing his plaid pajama pants and no shirt when I'd stepped into their dorm room, as was Ruka, and I'd immediately averted my gaze so that they could scramble to get their clothes on. Or at least, Ruka did. He'd muttered something that sounded like "Only Hotaru should see me without a shirt on…"

"I don't think that's a great idea," Ruka announced, coming out from his room with a grey shirt on and a blush on his cheeks. "Koko's bed probably has chips and chocolate smears and all of the other food that he brings in there covering his bed." He looked at me with an apologetic smile on his face and said, "I'm sure you wouldn't want to sleep on _that_."

I laughed, "… No, guys! I'm totally fine with the couch! I'm just embarrassed that I'm intruding and making all of you guys so uncomfortable," I replied, plopping down on the couch. "Besides," I said, gesturing, "-there's a TV in here and I've got my food. What more could a girl ask for?"

Koko grinned and the crackling of the chip bag caught my attention before he plucked a chip from off the table, his chewing and crunching the only thing slightly comprehensible before he gurgled with his mouth still full, "Who says we're uncomfortable? We love you!"

Something flew out of his mouth.

I laughed and slapped him on the arm before grabbing a chicken strip and taking a bite. "You guys are so weird," I added, looking at their welcoming grins. "But thanks. This is only for tonight, I can promise you that. Sumire's going to come over tomorrow afternoon to open the door for me."

Ruka scratched his head and made room for the bunny that jumped onto his lap. "Don't the dorm keepers hold an extra keycard for the dorms?"

I opened my mouth to answer when a voice interrupted, "If I know my cousin, she probably got all of the copies and stashed them in her room," Natsume drawled, heading to the couch across from me, reaching to get his bag. "Besides, the lights were all turned off. The bastards probably turned in for the night."

"They aren't bastards, Natsume," I scolded, drinking from a can of pop that Ruka had offered to me. "It's past eleven. I would've gone to sleep too."

He rolled his eyes and took a bite of his burger. Koko yawned and rested his head on the couch's backrest, almost immediately falling asleep.

"So I take it dinner didn't go as smoothly as you planned?" Ruka asked, petting the bunny. "It's strange to find you eating right after dinner."

Natsume leaned back and rested an arm on the armrest. "Grandmother was there," he supplied simply and Ruka winced, glancing at me with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, well Grandmother didn't like me much either," Ruka tried to console. "Then again, she had good reason. She got hives after shaking my hand."

I gaped at him, open mouthed, "Hives?"

"She's allergic to animal fur," Natsume explained, crumpling up his garbage and aiming at the garbage near the door. He squinted a bit before relaxing his arm and launching the bag into the trash. It went in without touching the rim. "You watched the soccer game, didn't you?" he asked and before I could get out, there was a heated debate about how bad _that_ player played and how much _this_ team creamed them. I had to escape.

I crumpled up my garbage and aimed, throwing the garbage in the direction of the trash can. I missed by a mile and I heard Ruka chuckle after Natsume's dry comment, "Perfect aim as always."

"There are some new toothbrushes in the bathroom, Mikan-san," Ruka called after me. I smiled at him thankfully before making my way to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth, leaving the boys to talk. Five minutes later, there was a knock on the bathroom door and I opened it to find Ruka holding a pile of clothes. "Natsume had a pair of Aoi's shorts and there's a t-shirt there for you," he said as an explanation, holding the clothes out to me. "I know the couch isn't that comfortable but sleep well, okay?"

"Thanks!" I smiled. He turned to walk away but stopped once I called his name. I bit my lip and wondered how to ask him without sounding like an idiot but seeing Ruka just _standing_ there, waiting for me to say something, made me lose my nerve. I blurted out the first thing on my mind, "Natsume doesn't talk much, does he?"

Blinking, Ruka scratched his chin, "He does talk. Or at least to Koko and me, he does. It's just… to others… sometimes, he can't find the right words or doesn't want to bother himself to reply. And sometimes—" Ruka laughed, walking closer to say a little lower, "…sometimes, he just doesn't say anything so that nothing will change. Natsume… he doesn't like change. Hates it, actually. He'd rather have a few close friends than bothering to hang out and make new friends." He smiled wistfully and grinned, embarrassed. "I find myself lucky to be best friends with him."

My eyebrows rose with that but I smiled. "I think… you just gave me a lot to think about," I grinned. "Thanks!"

If Ruka wanted to know why I'd asked, he didn't express it. Instead, he turned and bade me good night and I couldn't help chirping, "Good night, Ruka-pyon!"

He paused, smiling over his shoulder and I closed the door to pull on the clothes.

By the time I'd left the bathroom with a pair of the smallest shorts in the world (Aoi was too stinkin' small for her… _my_… own good) and a large navy blue t-shirt, my hair in a neat plait, Koko's body had been removed from the couch and Ruka had taken refuge in his room. The lights had been turned off and the only source of light came from the flickering of the TV displaying the replays of the soccer game and Natsume's still form on one of the couches.

I stopped in my tracks.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, looking down on him from behind the couch. He looked up, the lights flickering on the planes of his face made his features seem ethereal.

"The TV is on and I'm watching it. Take a wild guess," he replied sardonically, turning back to look at the TV.

I frowned and called him a jerk under my breath, sticking my tongue out at him when he wasn't looking. Walking around the couch, I saw that a blanket and pillow were stacked in a pile on the couch adjacent to the one that Natsume was lying on and smiled, shoving the pillow in the groove where the armrest met the cushion and fluffed up the blanket before settling in. "I meant…why aren't you watching TV in your room?" I whispered, once the curiosity was too much. "Or going to sleep for that matter? It's … _past_ midnight already…"

He didn't answer for a long time and I could feel my eyelids droop, the soothing noises from the TV seemed far away. "I don't—"

I blinked blearily and turned in order to see a blob that could only be Natsume's dark head. "You don't what, Natsume?"

He hesitated and then blew out a bottled up breath, "I don't… sleep… easily."

"Oh," I yawned, blinking to keep me awake. It was futile and I ended up pulling the covers of the blanket up to my chin. "Have you tried to put on some -_yawn_- some classical music?"

He grunted and put the volume of the TV louder and I frowned at his rude reply to my suggestion. There was a long silence between us and I couldn't shake the uncomfortable ball of consternation within my stomach. I bit my lip.

"Natsume?"

"Hn."

I fidgeted and sighed, "I'm … sorry… for bringing you up…" I was suddenly wide awake and squirming nervously under my covers. His stony silence spoke of both his attention and his patience and I blurted out, "I know it was awful of me and I really wasn't thinking at the time but I realize that making up that ridiculous story about you was wrong and stupid, no matter _how_ fake it sounds and thinking about how I involved an innocent bystander into this… _thing_ between Luna and Sumire and me, it was horrible and saying it makes me think I'm just as bad as Luna!"

I couldn't stop now, I was having a serious case of verbal diarrhea and just like rumour had it, I. Just. Couldn't. Stop. "Natsume, listen. I can't imagine how much you were teased about what I said and my excuses and reasons for saying it weren't good enough and it—I guess I might've been so desperate to get rid of those nasty rumours about Sumire and me, I didn't think about how it would make you and your brother feel. It was partially because I was mad that you blamed me for getting the role of the 'Beast' in the play and how you're always so _rude_ and I know it doesn't make much of a difference and I know this won't really make you feel any better but when I found out that you were feeling down about it, it kind of made me feel better to know that I wasn't the only one dealing with the embarrassment since Sumire is so good at masking her troubles, everybody kinda forgot she was a part of Luna's rumour and treated her normally compared to how they treat—_treated_ me. I-I—What I'm trying to say is, I really am sorry, Natsume… I'm sorry."

There was silence.

Nothing. There was only the low drone of the TV and my heated skin that bristled with embarrassment. To say… all of _that_ took a great deal of effort on my part and apologizing to _him_ of all people was harder than anybody would ever know. I inhaled, breathing deeply, and exhaled, waiting for his reply but once it felt like ten minutes had passed and my embarrassment had partially receded, I propped myself onto my elbows and peered closer at the figure on the couch diagonal from mine.

"… Natsume…?"

I inched my blanket down and tiptoed to where he lay and my jaw slackened with rage.

He was sleeping!

_Only…_ I leaned in closer and watched his chest underneath the blankets fall and swell. Straightening slightly, I frowned and sat on the coffee table, startling once I heard the crackle of some kind of bag… The chip bag! Koko would _die_. My heart in my throat, I peered over at Natsume and felt the shiver of fear and relief that he hadn't moved a muscle.

His breathing wasn't very even or audible for that matter and the majority of his face was hidden since he was lying on his side but I remembered… didn't he just say that he didn't sleep easily? I was sure he did, unless I dreamed about him, which wasn't very likely. I leaned in once more and with the adrenaline still pumping in my veins, I noticed even the slightest twitch in his body when I'd come no more than half a foot away from him.

He was awake… that much was for certain.

_Wait_… he was awake!

Stumbling backward, fumbling slightly so that I didn't jostle the table, I sank back onto my couch. _He was awake_… So why hadn't he said anything? I'd spent the good part of five minutes pouring my conscience out there for him and all he had the nerve to do was _pretend _to_ sleep_? Hell no! The guy couldn't possibly have the gall to _ignore_ me when I'd just changed my mind about him being a heartless creep!

_Unless…_

I silently slinked over to his side once more and peered as close as I dared. He was definitely awake, there was no doubt about it. I crawled back under the covers, livid. Was it too much to ask that he listen to my apology? Was it too hard for him to be serious, _just this once_? Was it too hard for him to accept that it took a lot of effort and guts to spill out my soul for him like that?

I stared furiously at the moving soccer players and wondered why he couldn't just come out and say something. Then again, Natsume wasn't much of a talker anyway. And just remembering how much he'd struggled to say _"Thank you" _the other time we ate burgers made my anger edge just the slightest. It was still there, the hell it'd be gone after one memory but I no longer wanted to jump up, punch him and flee from the room.

I… oh…

_Oh!_

I jumped up and launched myself to my knees, crawling—_one last time_—to look at him and once I was satisfied, I snuggled into my covers with a broad grin on my face. I could be wrong but hell, if Ruka knew anything about his best friend…

The thought made a smile dart onto my lips.

Thinking about what Ruka had said about Natsume's fear of change and his struggle to express himself made my heart light with amusement.

_Natsume_… the more I thought about it, the broader the smile on my face. _He knows. _He just didn't want to bother to say anything in case it changed where we stood with each other and for that, I was glad. At least he knew I was sorry. Tomorrow… We'll see what'll happen tomorrow.

I smiled.

Maybe he wasn't as beastly as I thought he was. Maybe…

_Maybe he was alright, after all._

* * *

**I didn't know we had to disclaim songs so let me say now: All the songs that are featured at the beginning of every chapter are not mine. **

**Vote on the poll in my profile, please! It's important (to me)! Thanks guys! Your honesty, patience and support still mind-boggle me. Sometimes I think your responses are a figment of my imagination. It's surreal! Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	12. Don't Speak, Liar

**Disclaimer: **My Hopeless Romantic does not own Gakuen Alice. She doesn't think that she could ever have written something so good, especially the latest chapters concerning Mikan's parents. Tachibana Higuchi is the lucky creator.

* * *

_So when I come back  
__I won't say a word  
__I know, I've said this before  
__Don't speak, liar _

_No we won't talk  
__We won't say a word  
__I know, you've heard this before  
__Don't speak, liar _

_"Don't Speak, Liar" — **We the Kings**_

**Chapter Twelve: Don't Speak, Liar**

I was startled awake to the muffled song, "I'm in Love with a Stripper" and some kind of repetitive knocking that sounded suspiciously like a woodpecker.

Taking a second to blink, I realized that I had pulled the blanket over my head and the lack of air was suffocating me. Stretching with a groan, I shrugged the cover off and surveyed the disorganized coffee table, the flickering of the TV and then, to the couch beside mine.

It was empty.

Not that I was surprised at all.

Kicking off the covers, I threw my feet over the side of the couch and stretched again, my head still light with dreams which included Otanashi-san singing about birds morphing into cucumbers and Granny Hyuuga clapping with her cane at the black dog that had my head in its jaws…

_I'm in love with a stripper …_

"Koko, get your phone!" Ruka hollered from the kitchen.

I blinked at the heavy thump and I looked toward the sound before Koko staggered out of his room, his hair sticking up every which way and his dreary, copper eyes slowly darting from left to right. He yawned loudly before dragging his feet to one of the side tables, lifting the vibrating phone off the table before answering with a tired grunt.

His eyes shot open, "Seaweed?"

I laughed as a stupid smile lit his face and he ran a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes, "I _know _that—" he smirked, walking over to flop back-first onto the couch cushions, "—but Seaweed suits you."

There was a sharp voice muffled over Koko's cell and I shook my head before walking toward the kitchen, filling a glass of tap water halfway before taking a much needed swig.

"Good morning, Mikan-san," Ruka greeted warmly, a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked towards the living room when Koko bust a gut laughing and shook his head, asking, "How'd you sleep last night?"

I answered with a tired smile and a yawn before sitting on a chair, leaning my head against the cool wood. "I think you mean to ask how I slept this _morning_."

His face fell and he frowned, "You were uncomfortable? I _knew_ Natsume should've given up his bed for you."

I laughed, lifting my head off of the table and smiled, "No, no—I wasn't uncomfortable. More like I was carrying a one-sided conversation with Natsume this morning until I found out he'd been _pretending_ to sleep."

I rolled my eyes with a wry smile at Ruka's startled expression.

"Pretending to sleep?" Ruka blinked in disbelief. "Why would he pretend to sleep?"

I shrugged and looked pointedly at Ruka, "I spent about five minutes ranting about how sorry I was for involving him and Tsubasa-senpai in that fake rumor the other day as well as practically pouring my pathetically sorry conscience out there for him and when he didn't answer, I looked over at him and he was pretending to sleep—the bastard."

At the mention of my story about the love affair between the two Hyuuga brothers, Ruka's lips widened into a grin and he leaned back with his hands behind his head. "That _was_ a funny story," Ruka laughed, looking into this mug of coffee. Then he frowned, "He could've actually been sleeping though, Mikan-san. It was late, after all."

I raised my eyebrows at him and wondered if he was trying to cover for Natsume. I mean, being Natsume's best friend would mean that Ruka knew only too well that Natsume had sleeping problems. If he knew that, Ruka probably wouldn't have said what he'd just said so offhandedly unless he knew that I was right.

Resting my head in my open palms, elbows on the table, I looked into his eyes intensely and his eyes widened before he quickly averted them and cleared his throat. Dismissively, I explained, "Natsume told me that he didn't sleep very easily," my voice almost uncaring, "—and to add to that, Natsume sucks at pretending to sleep. His eyelashes were fluttering, his breathing was uneven and when I leaned particularly close to him, he'd twitch or shudder or frown. He was definitely _not_ sleeping."

"He told you that he didn't sleep easily?" Ruka asked, crossing his arms and leaning forward in his chair. "He didn't tell me that for _months_ after I met him. Then again," Ruka mumbled more to himself, "It was at a sleepover when we were younger and when Usagi and I found him watching TV at three in the morning, he told me. He wasn't very happy about it, though."

I pondered over what Ruka had said and felt a tingle in my stomach at the thought of Natsume trusting me when he didn't even know me. It was strange, yes but flattering. Standing up to search for some food, I explained over my shoulder, "I figured the only reason why he pretended to be asleep in the first place was because he didn't know what to say after my apology. Does that sound about right?"

I laughed when I found some graham crackers wedged in between a bag of jelly beans and fruit cups and turned back to look at Ruka. He was pouring himself another cup of coffee with a frown on his face, when he saw me looking at him. Smiling distractedly, he sat down once more before saying, "Natsume may not be much of a talker but pretending to sleep is a little off for him. I can hardly believe it," he muttered, swirling his coffee. "I guess I'll talk to him about it later."

I sputtered and grasped the back of the chair stiffly. "No, Ruka-pyon—it's fine. Between Natsume and me, I think it's better to leave that whole discuss—"

"Good morning!" Koko chirped, sliding into the kitchen to flop gracefully onto one of the chairs. He made a mad grab for Ruka's coffee and took a swig before gagging, managing to swallow the whole thing with a disgusted look on his face. Shoving the cup across the table to an amused Ruka, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and licked his lips to get the fresh taste of coffee off.

Propping his chin onto the palm of his hand, Koko grinned, singing, "Aside from Ruka's nasty coffee, how wonderful is this morning?!" He bolted to his feet and yanked a jug of milk from the fridge. "The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming and the sun is shining like gold!"

I raised a brow. "Yeah, if most of the birds hadn't already started their flight south for the winter and if the flowers weren't all dying or wilting from the cold of the fall," I snorted, biting into a graham cracker and sharing a look of amusement with Ruka.

"Ah, but you didn't have anything to say about the sun, did you now?" Koko grinned, plucking a graham cracker from the bag and waving it around in the air, "To us!"

I flicked a graham cracker across the table to Ruka and picked one for myself, "Cheers!"

"You're toasting with graham crackers," deadpanned a dry, male voice. We all turned simultaneously to see Natsume leaning against the doorway with a bag of food in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

"Food!" Koko yelped, jumping to his feet and yanking the bag from Natsume's hand. "Thanks, man! I was starving!"

Natsume rolled his eyes and looked over at me. I waved a graham cracker at him, before greeting, "Morning, delivery boy."

He didn't bother to reply and only gave the slightest incline of his head to acknowledge me. He leaned against the counter by Ruka and I realized that I'd taken the seat that was rightfully his. There were only three chairs and I was the only one that didn't belong. Standing up, I put my cup in the sink and looked at Koko who was devouring a muffin with an intensity that astounded me. Clearing my throat, he looked up and I asked, "What did Sumire say when she called you, Koko?"

"Oh yeah!" Koko muttered, hurrying to swallow the mouthful of muffin. "She's coming over to pick you up in—" he leaned over to glance at the clock in the living room and chirped, "—ten minutes! She said something about 'being in lots of trouble' but I think it might've been meant for me because I told her she looked like a forest." He grinned unapologetically and once again focused on the muffin.

"You're not supposed to tell the girl you like that she looks like a forest," Ruka admonished wisely, leaning his elbows on the table.

"I don't like her!" Koko replied with a laugh, downing some of his milk. "I just like bugging her! Have you seen her face when she gets mad?" he chortled, snickering like a school boy, "Hilarious!"

"You bug the girl that you like," Ruka pointed out smugly. "Don't you find it funny that you get the greatest satisfaction from bugging Shouda-san the most?"

I jumped onto the counter with the graham crackers as Natsume took over the seat I'd just vacated. He draped his arm over the back of the chair and said, "Just because he bugs her, doesn't mean he likes her."

"See, Natsume agrees with me! Five!" Koko raised an arm. Begrudgingly, Natsume high fived him. I bit my lip to hide my laugh.

Grinning, Koko darted his glance over to me and said, "What do you think, Mikan?"

They all looked at me and I swung me legs, pretending to be seriously thinking and said, "Ruka's right. Boys always bug the girl they like the most."

Ruka smiled smugly and Koko raised his voice in indignation, "We have to convert her!" Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Koko clasped his hands seriously above the tabletop and from under his eyelashes, said, "Now, Mikan—we have evidence that proves that _we_ are right. Boys will be boys and boys like having fun. Making fun of girls and bugging girls is a form of our entertainment. It'd be stupid to say that we _like_ the girls that we bug. It's just not done." He finished with a nod and an expression that was matter-of-fact and looked eagerly to see what I'd say next.

I raised an eyebrow and bent my body forward to look at him closer, "So you're saying that since you're a boy, everything can be blamed on the fact that you like having fun?"

He blinked. Then, with a wide grin, started nodding emphatically, "That's right."

"That's stupid," I argued, laughing with disbelief. "Girls aren't objects and you're making it sound like that's what we are."

Jaw dropped, Koko exclaimed, "No, I didn't!"

Raising an eyebrow, I asked, "Koko, do you like playing video games?"

He blinked, a bit confused before nodding, "Yeah, only when I'm playing against Ruka or Natsume though. I always lose when I play Kitsuneme. Ruka and Natsume suck, though, so it's fun," he grinned.

"So you're saying video games are one of those sources of your entertainment?" I asked, biting my lip to stifle the laugh that his expression caused.

"Oh, _I_ know where you're going with this," Koko groaned, rubbing his head with one of his hands. "Natsume, help me out! You're on my team, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Natsume. Help him out," I taunted. "I would _love_ to hear what you've got to say about it."

He leaned back in his chair and met my gaze unabashed. His ruby eyes darkened with challenge and a slow smirk fell across his lips before he said, "Girls make themselves seem like objects. It's not our fault that we're agreeing with what they want us to think."

"Are you serious?" I cried with disbelief, crumpling a graham cracker in my fist. "Are you _serious_? I can't believe you just said that! Give me one good example where we make that impression!"

Looking encouraged by my bout of anger, Natsume's lips broke into a boyish grin, "Girls practically throw themselves at guys when they're desperate enough."

Koko laughed and put his hands up to catch our attention, "You've heard them! They even _say _'Take me' or 'Choose me, Natsume!'" He turned to flash a smug Cheshire smile in my direction before saying, "It's true, Mikan. Girls throw themselves at guys and _make_ themselves sound like they're objects. It's not _our_ fault."

I flushed with embarrassment and caught the smug arrogance that lit up Natsume's face. Just as I was about to shove a valid point across the table, there were heavy, insistent knocks on the door and Koko bounded to his feet, yelling, "I'll get it!"

Snapping my head back in Natsume's direction, I narrowed my eyes and leered, "We'll finish this next time, Natsume and by then, I'll have so many things to say, it'll make your head spin."

"Don't let me stop you," he smirked coolly. His smirk widened when my disbelief escalated and tucking his hands into his pockets, he walked into the living room so that I could settle my anger.

Ruka, who had been silent during our whole discussion, sent an impish almost apologetic smile my way and said, "I'm not much of a partner when it comes to these girls vs. boys discussions," he confessed, laughing when I threw a broken corner of a graham cracker in the air, catching it in my mouth.

I waved off his comment and tied off the bag, putting the crackers back into the cupboard. Commenting on the fact that I should get ready to leave; I left the room with my thoughts and couldn't help but seethe at how our discussion had concluded. It was so unfair! I didn't have much experience with guys and for Natsume to bring up the fact that girls kept throwing themselves at _him_, made me realize that I couldn't win our little debate unless I had some back-up. As for Ruka, for him to back up _my_ argument would be weird _and _hard for him. I needed Sumire and Hotaru for this. Sumire had her boy experience and Hotaru had her never-ending sources and intellect. They wouldn't stand a chance against the three of us.

I walked out of the kitchen with my thoughts and cracked my neck when I heard Sumire yelling, "There you are!" She stomped over to me and grabbed my arm, "Hurry up and get your stuff! I don't have much time before Mother realizes that I'm gone. Hurry!"

She looked frazzled and angry, even though her hair was immaculately done and clothes were matched to perfection. Sumire had a way about her movement that made people want to move to make room for her. She commanded the room with her mood and at the moment, she was looking _really_ irritated. She didn't even spare a glance at Natsume who was watching from the couch with a bland expression on his face.

There must be something wrong with her.

If Natsume was in a fifty meter radius of her, Sumire would start ranting and raving and patting her hair down and _everything_ but right now; she did none of those things. With her tight hold on my arm, there was no way of escape and without even a chance to _blink_; I was already out the door with nothing but shorts and a t-shirt on.

"Can I get my stuff and my shoes on at least?" I scowled dryly. "Just give me a second, okay? I'll be back in five seconds flat!"

She growled but let go of my arm and I quickly grabbed my bag of clothes, jumped into my jeans and threw on my shoes, skidding to a stop in front of her. Thanking them over my shoulder, I let myself be tugged along by Sumire. As we headed down the stairs, I knew something was wrong when I tripped and all she did was tug me up even harder and started practically dragging me without any cooperation from my legs.

Wrenching my arm away from her claws, I stepped away from her and crossed my arms. She didn't turn around. Instead, she dropped both hands to her sides and exhaled loudly. "You're mad at me," I said with narrowed eyes, challenging her to say otherwise.

She whirled around, green curls crackling with electricity as she took a step toward me and sneered, "Oh, you _think_? You _think_ I'm just mad at you? I'm not mad, Sakura—I am downright fucking _furious_ with you!"

My initial surprise turned to anger and I immediately rounded on her. "Why? What did I do to you this time or are you still mad about Hotaru and me asking you those questions yesterday? Or are you mad that I got Luna's disciples to confess that those rumors about us being lesbians were false? Or maybe you're mad that I was your excuse to get away from the mother that you seemed to _loathe_ the last time we spoke?"

Sumire laughed humorlessly and pushed her jaw off to one side to glare at me from under dark black eyelashes. "Are those honestly the only things you can think of that could get me absolutely _furious_, Mikan? If not, then you don't know me at all."

I stared at her with disbelief, leaning against the wall with arms crossed over my chest and snapped back, "Well, I guess I don't know you at all. So please, _your highness_, why don't you enlighten me a little?"

She laughed, looking up at the ceiling with disbelief and both eyebrows rose when she looked at me. "You haven't let up with the innocent act, have you? Well, I'm done thinking I have a friend that will tell me the truth. You _know_ that I like Natsume and yet, you didn't bother to tell me that you were going to have dinner with his family yesterday. Do you know how it _feels_ to find out from Koko that my _friend_ and the guy that I _really_ like have been going out together behind my back?" she snarled, eyes sparking with fury.

Skin tingling with heat; I turned away from her penetrating gaze to the mortar between the bricks of the wall or anything else. I just couldn't look at her face. Sumire may not look like she cared much for other people and her indifference and lack of concern for others but herself were the only things that many people saw about her. But I knew different. Even if I'd only known her for a few short weeks, I'd come to discover that though she went to school with a haughty smirk on her face and arrogance that lit up the room, at home, she threw tantrums and sulked and treated Hotaru and me in a way that could only be described as affectionate.

And if there was one thing I knew for sure about Sumire, it was that she'd had troubles trusting people for some time. Or at least, if Hotaru's information was anything to go by, she'd had unpleasant past experiences.

* * *

_Two weeks ago_

I jolted awake after hearing the tinkling crash of porcelain or glass and quickly ducked out the door of my room. My hurry toward the raised voices and shrieks led me to the living room where both Hotaru and Sumire stood facing each other.

They were both breathing hard and Hotaru's usually pale cheeks were a slight red, tinged with anger.

"I _saw_ you!" Sumire hissed into Hotaru's face.

Her voice, louder but still monotone, answered coolly, "What could you possibly have in your room that I'd want?"

"Oh, wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

"You're acting ridiculous, Shouda," Hotaru remarked, rolling her eyes with exasperation.

I winced, instantly noting Sumire's shift from suspicious to downright furious disposition. She chuckled dryly and shook her head with disbelief and narrowed her eyes into sharpened slits. "I specifically told you that no one—absolutely _no one—_is _ever_ allowed in my room and you decide that you can defy all the rules?!"

She dropped her voice when Hotaru didn't reply and snarled, "_Mind your own business, Imai." _She whirled around and stalked away, calling over her shoulder in nothing more than a dangerous whisper, "And stay the hell away from my stuff."

She passed me with an indifferent glance and brushed her shoulder roughly against mine before closing her room door with the hollow click of the lock. I froze after the cold touch of her arm and after some hesitation, I walked into the living room and found Hotaru in the same position: standing erect and breathing shallowly.

She didn't bother to acknowledge that I'd come into the room. Instead, she let herself fall roughly onto the couch behind her and ran a hand through her short head of black hair. I glimpsed a broken vase on the ground with water and shards of glass littering the ground near her feet.

"What happened?"

Hotaru looked up with a glare and pinched the bridge of her nose with exasperation. "She left her purse and shoes in the kitchen," Hotaru supplied monotonously.

I nodded with understanding and sat down in front of her.

Hotaru was a neat freak. The only reason our dorm room was so clean was the simple fact that if something was out of order, Hotaru would put it back in its rightful place. She found some sort of undeniable pleasure when coming back home to find the place exactly the way she'd left it.

Once, I'd left my back pack and books on the coffee table with a newly bought milkshake and cookies and left to go to the bathroom and when I got out, my books and bag were on my desk in my room and the milkshake and cookies in the garbage. Hotaru was washing her hands in the sink with her lips set in a thin line which I'd come to learn was the way she expressed her satisfaction.

I could only guess that she'd gone into Sumire's room in order to deposit her purse and shoes.

"Did you tell her why?" I asked.

She didn't answer for a moment and then, she shook her head. "When she's angry, she doesn't listen," Hotaru commented knowingly, annoyance marring her tone.

"I'm sure she just needs to calm down a bit, that's all."

Hotaru flicked her gaze over and lazily rolled her eyes. Opening her mouth, Hotaru hissed, "She needs to calm down her temper and suspicion, that's what."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked in the direction of Sumire's room. "Well, everyone needs there privacy. She may be going overboard with the suspicion, though. I wonder why…"

"The Shouda household doesn't have the cleanest reputation, Mikan," Hotaru divulged quietly. "Don't be surprised to hear something happened in her family to make her suspicious."

I slumped in my seat and frowned, "I don't like what you're implying, Hotaru. We shouldn't make up conclusions unless we know for sure—"

Hotaru cut me short with a roll of her eyes. "I don't say things without support. Imais have their ways," she smirked, getting to her feet and aligning the coffee table correctly. "You, on the other hand, have to find out for yourself. I'm sure she'll tell you sooner or later. My bet is on the latter."

She brushed her hands together and then, looking at the shards of glass on the ground, her eyes twitched but she closed them and breathed deeply, before saying, "Get a broom and clean that up."

* * *

Sumire laughed, "Yeah, I thought so. Mikan Sakura's life is all rainbows and roses, after all!"

The effort to hold my tongue was in vain because the fire within me reared back and snapped, "The only reason I didn't tell you was because I knew you'd take it the wrong way! You want the story so badly, Sumire? Well, here it is," I snarled. "After I found Aoi that day, she invited me for dinner at the Hyuuga home and I couldn't refuse. I got kicked out of the house, chased by a dog and accused by an old lady all night and came back and found out that I forgot my keys and cell phone inside our room. Natsume offered and I had nowhere else to go. What could I do? So I went and called you. What more do you want to know?! Does this _satisfy_ your curiosity?!"

Without skipping a beat, "I can't even _look _you in the face! What makes you think I can trust you?!" Sumire hissed dangerously, crossing her arms over her chest.

I felt my stomach drop like I'd just been slapped in the face and I stared at her disbelieving. "Well I'm telling you the truth," I said in a low voice. "It's up to you to trust me or not."

"And I'm choosing not to trust you," she sniffed disdainfully.

"Fine," I hissed.

"Fine!"

And with that, she stomped away.

I looked after her until she walked out of sight and couldn't help but seethe. The urge to punch the wall was suppressed but the shriek of frustration didn't go down the same way. I kicked the small plastic bag of my things against the wall and fell, pressing my head into my hands and leaning my back against the cool, brick wall.

I froze when three pairs of feet came into view from the corner of my eyes and I whipped my gaze around to glare at the three people I didn't want to see. "How long have you been standing there?!" I hissed in a low voice.

Koko shifted uneasily and shook his head, "I'm going to go for a walk."

He followed Sumire's trail.

I didn't even bother to look back at Natsume and Ruka. I just continued to watch Koko's retreating figure, even after he disappeared from sight. My head throbbed like somebody was repeatedly hitting my head with a sledgehammer and I put my head between my legs, trying to pretend two boys weren't looking at me anymore.

"Are you—"

"Fine, Ruka," I cut in sharply, lifting my head to send him a weak smile. "But I think I'm going to go and clear my head."

I staggered to my feet and grabbed the neglected bag on the ground before waving a hand in the air, "See you later."

* * *

I walked for some time, only dimly remembering the fact that I was carrying a bag of my undergarments. It didn't register in my head that I had been walking aimlessly for some time. Nor did I particularly care. I was too focused on the fact that things were spiraling out of control.

Sumire's accusations and the guilt that I felt made me nauseous and though I'd told her the truth about the dinner and how it'd come to be, I felt horrible for leaving out one, tiny detail: the other reason I didn't tell her about the dinner was because I didn't want her to be there.

It sounded horrible, yes. I'd run it over in my head a few times and couldn't help feeling disgusted with myself but I had to know, had to _see_, who exactly Natsume was without the presence of friends and public.

I'd turned the scenario in my mind several times and in my imagination, if I'd told Sumire about the dinner, she'd pressure me into inviting her along and knowing Aoi and her Hyuuga courtesy, I knew she wouldn't say no if I'd asked. Was it wrong for me to want to see things for myself? Was it wrong to want to keep this _one_ thing away from them?

_You're a liar…_

I knew that already. Things were just getting a little too complicated for my tas—I stopped abruptly and could feel a dull ache in my chest.

"Oh… you," I said dully, watching as Natsume looked up from his comic book. "Why do I always run into you when I want to see you the least?"

One eyebrow rose to display his lack of commitment in the conversation and I shrugged one side of my shoulder to display mine. Intending to leave him with his riveting read, I rounded the trunk of the tree and promptly froze at two familiar raised voices close by.

"Stop following me, Koko!"

"Who says I'm following? I'm merely walking the same way you are."

I cursed, peeking around the tree to see Sumire's advancing figure and Koko's trailing after her. They were quite a ways away and I immediately turned around, walking away from the comfort of the trees' shadows in order to make a break for it. I ran back, knowing I wouldn't be able to make it out of the area without being caught.

"If all you're doing is taking a walk; why don't you go down that route and leave me the hell alone?!"

"This route compliments my mood."

I couldn't stomach another awkward encounter with _her_. I was running out of options and at the corner of my eyes, I could see Natsume eyeing me with something akin to amusement. His eyebrows were raised in a way to show his blatant pleasure in my dire situation and I couldn't help but growl at the smirk on his face.

"Stop looking like you're enjoying this!" I hissed quietly, peeking to see where the two of them had gone. "What are we going to do?!"

I could hear the mirth in his voice when he said, "We?"

"Yes 'we'," I repeated harshly, turning to look at him with disbelief. "Do you honestly want to be caught here together after the fight this morning?"

"Why would that bother me?" Natsume shot back, flipping a page of his manga with disinterest.

"Do you _want_ to be in the middle of a _very _awkward conversation?" I retorted, shaking my head and clearing my muddled thoughts. "It doesn't matter. If you want to stay down here, then fine. Just—can you give me a boost to that branch?"

I heard him mutter something that involved _'talk about awkward'_ but couldn't catch the rest of his speech because the voices distinguished themselves once more:

"Then _I'll _go a different route and you can keep to this one!"

"You know what? I think I've changed my mind. I think I'll take that route, too. The sun shines brighter over there."

"There _is _no sun over there! Just a bunch of trees!"

"Trees are nice_…_"

I whirled around to find Natsume standing behind me with an indifferent look on his face. Gone, were the mirth in his eyebrows and the amusement in his eyes. I pointed around the tree, whispering, "What are we going to do?!"

He looked up into the foliage of the trees and I felt mutant butterflies rampaging inside my belly. Whether it was his close proximity or the fact that Sumire and Koko were so _close_; I didn't know.

Wordlessly, with a roll of his eyes, Natsume clasped his hands together into a foothold and crouched down a bit and I immediately put my hands on his shoulders. I looked him in the eye, a tacit plea to be careful with me and he gave a quick bob of his head as understanding.

Using his shoulders as leverage, I placed my foot in the foothold he made and with his help, managed to grab a hold of the closest branch and lift myself up. When I was securely on the branch, I reached up and continued to climb until I was a good four branches up the tree and covered in the foliage.

My heart was pounding like I'd run in a marathon and I could feel my skin, especially covering my cheeks, tingling with heat. Meaning to thank him, I leaned over to look at the ground, only to find that Natsume had started climbing the tree himself.

"What are you—"

He shot me a severe look before looking pointedly at the ground where, if I craned my neck a bit, I could see Sumire and Koko had stopped. When he'd settled down beside me, I asked quietly, "How'd you get up all by yourself?"

He rolled his eyes but didn't answer and I was suddenly glad that he didn't because Sumire and Koko, after their long glaring contest, had started yelling again.

I pressed myself against the tree trunk and listened.

"—se in liking me. I like someone else, okay? And you know who it is. So stop following me and making your interest so obvious!"

I could hear Koko's faint laugh and I grabbed a hold of the branch I was sitting on with one hand to lean closer.

"He doesn't like you, Sumire. I think he's made it perfectly clear, too. So why do _you_ keep following _him_?"

I glared at Natsume when he muttered a low _'thank God'_, but froze when Sumire stomped into view, right below us. She hadn't changed clothes from this morning but kept the same enraged aura. I watched as Koko caught her arm and she whirled around to push him roughly in the chest.

"How _dare_ you!" she hissed.

"What?" Koko scoffed darkly, putting a hand into his pocket. "How could I turn your own words against you? Simple; but it's much more effective when even _you _know it makes sense."

I reeled back in shock when Sumire's slap echoed into my ears. Natsume looked a little less surprised but couldn't help but look down with anger in his eyes and I understood how he was feeling. Sumire had bitch-slapped Koko in the face!

I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought, especially when Sumire's surprisingly cold voice hissed, "I don't know _who_ you think you are, Yome, but don't meddle into affairs you could never understand. _Stay __away__ from me_. Or you'll see hatred like you've _never_ seen it before."

Koko laughed softly and turned his gaze away from her and I barely suppressed the gasp when I saw the angry, red mark on the side of his face. "I'm just _shaking_ with fear," he muttered dryly, making a gesture like he was rolling his eyes. "You really need to get over yourself, Sumire."

"Don't _call_ me anything but Shouda, Yome," she snarled, taking a step closer. "Better yet, don't mention me. Don't ask about me. Don't look at me. Don't smell me. Don't even listen to gossip about me. Don't listen to my voice in class. Just stay the hell away!"

"You're saying that as if I've done it before," Koko pointed out sardonically.

"_Don't_ provoke me," she said through clenched teeth. "—and just do as I say."

"Why should I listen to you when your mother works for my family?" Koko murmured softly.

"Oh, you just _love_ to rub that in my face, don't you?!"

Koko sighed and took a step back. "Listen, I'm not trying to make you angry. All I wanted to do was calm you down a bit. You looked like you needed some company."

"Yeah?" she hissed. "Well, don't hold your breath. The day I seek _your _company is the day hell freezes over."

He took two steps closer to her until they were practically nose to nose and I watched as Sumire's body stiffened. She didn't move back though. It was probably her pride that kept her in place and I leaned closer in order to hear Koko's low words.

"I'll just lace up my ice skates and see you down there."

I watched as he took the back of her head and kissed her, and in my surprise, I felt my stomach drop to my feet when my hand left the branch; my body started falling forward. An arm shot out and remained like a steel seatbelt against my waist and another pressed against my mouth to suppress the scream I hadn't known was building. I shook my head and took a hold of Natsume's arm, scooting myself closer to the trunk of the tree.

The broken whisper of _'you asshole'_ made me look down once again in time to see Koko slump to the base of the tree with his head in between his knees and Sumire's figure running away.

I lowered Natsume's hand from my mouth and only then, noticed the scratches of blood and dirt on the palm of my hand after clutching the branch. Natsume pulled his arms away from me and made a move to jump from the tree when I put a hand on his arm to stop him. Shooting me a confused, albeit annoyed glance, I gestured with my head to the base of the tree and his eyes softened. Without a word, he nodded slightly but I didn't bother moving my hand and Natsume didn't seem to mind.

By the trunk of the tree, Koko remained, punching the ground with his frustration.

Natsume settled back and we waited in silence for Koko to up and leave.

It didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

**Koko-Sumire is quite possibly the best couple in Gakuen Alice, ever and this chapter is dedicated solely to them. ****Merry early Christmas! You know**_… _**a wonderful Christmas present would be to review **_… =) _**That wasn't as subtle as I thought it was. **

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	13. The Pretender

**Disclaimer: **MHR could never own Gakuen Alice to save her life. Unless Tachibana Higuchi wished to hand it over as a b-day present which is highly doubted.

* * *

_I'm the voice inside your head you refuse to hear_

_I'm the face that you have to face, mirrorin' your stare_

_I'm what's left, I'm what's right, I'm the enemy_

_I'm the hand that'll take you down, bring you to your knees_

_So who are you? Yeah, who are you?_

_Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend…_

_"The Pretender" - **Foo Fighters**_

**Chapter Thirteen: The Pretender**

I stood in front of the set of windows by my dresser and stared out, watching blearily as the sun made its arrival just at the horizon. Usually I didn't drink coffee; I was more of a juice kind of girl, actually. But I found that after the horrible Saturday that I'd had, coffee seemed to be my best companion.

After the fight that I had with Sumire and witnessing the scene with Koko, the weekend passed quietly and without many interactions. I'd come back to our room to find the door unlocked and an empty cup of Starbucks' **Grande Tazo® Chai Latte, **which I knew to be Sumire's favorite, sitting innocently on the coffee table. Our dorm area was quiet though and after a thorough inspection of the place, I realized that no one was home.

I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my stomach when I realized: even if she was mad at me, Sumire had gone through the trouble to make sure I'd be able to get inside without my keycard. I remember lying awake and waiting to hear the door to our dorm open once more but it'd be a couple hours before that happened.

When Hotaru came back late Sunday night, and if she noticed the tension between us or the silence of our home, she hid her surprise behind her usual mask of indifference. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd found out from Ruka or some of her other 'reliable' sources.

I exhaled softly and took a small sip of the steaming cup of caffeine, blinking at the sight of blonde hair. It was _extremely_ blonde with an incredible likeness to a cascade of gold and for some reason, I found myself remembering Luna Koizumi. The lack of gossip surrounding her this weekend made me slightly suspicious. I wonder what she–

"Mikan."

I perked up and looked over my shoulder to see Hotaru standing by the door looking like her usual self. She opened the door wider and I felt abnormally comfortable under her intense gaze. "Yes?"

"You're never up this early," she pointed out in her monotonous drawl. "Something's wrong with you."

I sipped my coffee thoughtfully and watched her over the rim of my cup. "And you know _what _is wrong with me already, I suppose."

She shrugged but didn't bother to say otherwise. Instead, she picked up the novel that lay on my bedside table and raised her eyebrows at the cover of the book. "'Love on the Lifts,'" Hotaru read with a sneer in her voice. Looking up, she stated with slight disbelief, "You actually read things like this."

"Yes, I read things like that," I grated irritably. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"It's fake," Hotaru smirked, throwing the book onto my bed like it was garbage. "You're crazy to read stories like this."

"How in the world does that make me crazy?"

A small smirk grazed her lips before she spoke softly, "You'll end up being an ignorant fool."

"Ignorance is bliss."

"No—" Hotaru shook her head, "Ignorance is temporary."

I bit my lip and cocked an eyebrow at her before taking another sip of coffee, buying some time to think her words through. She thought I was ignorant for reading romance novels, yet she was the girl with the perfect prince charming.

"Just because I like a good romance novel, doesn't mean I'm ignorant," I pointed out, flopping onto my beanie bag chair and brushing annoying bangs away from my face. I leaned back on both hands and looked at her expectantly.

Hotaru narrowed her eyes. "What good is reading romance novels when you can have a reallife experience?"

"Oh c'mon, Hotaru," I snorted, folding my arms across my chest, "—you should know that nice guys are hard to find. And besides," I added, fiddling with the seams of the chair, "—I'm too lazy to make the effort."

"That's not true," Hotaru drawled as if she was talking to a naïve child. "You keep saying nice guys are hard to find but it's only because you have some sick delusion of the perfect guy you want. Don't you think that's shallow, Mikan…? You'll never truly know them until you give them a chance.

"Who knows?" Hotaru continued flatly, a fleeting flash in her dark eyes, "—With the way you're going, he's already passed you by."

I narrowed my eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, Hotaru's eyes moved to the window and murmured, "There is more than what meets the eye." Her eyes turned and I shifted under her impenetrable gaze, the deep purple of her irises made something in my stomach shudder as if she was looking right through me. Finally, she sighed, frowning, "—happy endings don't come in a flash. There's a journey."

I froze uncertainly and tried to think things through but I couldn't seem to get past the dread of premonition from my mind at Hotaru's first few words.

—_With the way you're going, he's already passed you by… _

"Your cup," Hotaru said blandly, getting to her feet.

I blinked and noticed with a start that my hands were shaking and the coffee within the cup had already splashed onto the sensitive skin of my hand, the skin turning an angry red. Abruptly, the cup was peeled away from my fingers and placed on the side table, Hotaru's expressionless gaze unwavering as she tugged me out of the room.

"Come. Ruka's paying for breakfast."

* * *

I fiddled with the napkin on the table before meeting Ruka's shy gaze with a smile, "Thanks again for breakfast, Ruka-pyon."

"Oh, it's no p-problem, Mikan-san!" Ruka blushed, looking quickly at the tabletop. I quirked an eyebrow at this in Hotaru's direction in which she shrugged and continued to butter her muffin with delicate swipes of her wrist.

"Where's Hyuuga?" Hotaru asked dryly, her question directed to Ruka. "Off cloud gazing or is he still reading those impossible comics he loves so much?"

Ruka's blue eyes scrutinized his girlfriend in amusement before he admonished, "He's not _that _lazy, Hotaru. And he's your cousin for God's sake; you can call him by his name, at least."

"You didn't answer the question."

Ruka sighed and took a sip of his drink and I watched with mirth as he ruffled his hair with irritation, his lips thinning. "You know he has swim practice in the morning," Ruka answered finally, crumpling up his napkin and pushing the remains of his pancakes around with a fork.

A steely glare fixed itself upon Hotaru's face before she stopped her hand an inch away from taking a bite of her muffin and sighed softly. "Alright, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ruka bit out curtly, placing his utensils on the table with a sharp jerk of his wrist.

"Fine," she shrugged, not the least interested. She made to reach for her muffin again before Ruka put his hand out and took her hand, weighing it thoughtfully in his. A small, victorious smirk made its way across Hotaru's lips before she forced it back upon Ruka's contemplative sigh.

I tried my best to shrink away and camouflage myself with the potted plant behind me. This seemed like too much of an… awkward situation.

"Kitsuneme told me that a 'Hayate Matsudaira' has been claiming to be your boyfriend," Ruka finished lamely, his eyes downcast with a blush across his cheeks.

Hotaru's eyes darkened at the name once again before clenching her fists into her lap, glaring at her boyfriend across the table. "_This _is what you're worried about?"

Ruka stiffened and he lifted his gentle blue eyes from the table. From the way his shoulders seemed to slump just the slightest, it didn't seem as though he could string two words together. When Hotaru's even gaze of mockery didn't waver, he leaned back resignedly. "Well, what did you think? If some guy starts saying that _you're _his girlfriend, of course I'd start f-feeling … confused," he muttered, looking away with embarrassment and–_was that frustration?_–on his face.

The corner of her lips tugged upward, not yet smiling but not quite a thin line of annoyance. I watched the humor in her eyes as she leaned forward, clasping her hands together delicately atop the table, pushing her plate away in the process, the wry almost-smile still on her face. "You're jealous."

The mirth in her voice didn't fall upon deaf ears.

Ruka's confused expression fell away in an instant and he turned back, speechless. The dark blush on his cheeks in contrast to the light tan of his natural skin color stood out among the lightness of his eyes and hair and a dark chuckle left Hotaru's lips.

"You're _enjoying_ this," Ruka gaped, blush _slowly _ebbing away. "I can't believe you're enjoying this!"

"So?" Hotaru's eyes displayed her open amusement.

"Is that all you can say?" Ruka asked in disbelief. "I was … I was actually _worried_! And now you're _laughing _at me when some guy _obviously _likes you…"

Hotaru placed her chin upon her clasped hands, elbows erect on the table and the small twitch of her lips still taking permanent residence on her face. "What are you going to do about it?"

Ruka sighed and ran his hand through his golden locks of hair. "I heard he wants to duel me. Or something…"

"Last I heard, he wasn't actually serious," Hotaru mused. "But things change. What will you do, Nogi?"

"You really _are _enjoying this too much, Hotaru," he commented with a smile on his face. "I'll try to talk him out of it but if Kitsuneme is right, this guy won't take 'no' for an answer. In that case, we'll just have to … duel, I guess."

Hotaru snorted and rolled her eyes. "Though watching you 'duel' would probably be laughable, that won't be necessary," Hotaru commented lightly, the moment passing as she picked up her neglected muffin. "He's just some guy, Nogi."

"He may be some guy," Ruka muttered softly, "—but so am I. Who knows? Maybe I _will_ have to duel him."

"If Hotaru's taken an interest in you, you're obviously not just _some guy_." I clapped a hand over my mouth and bit my lip at Ruka's deep blush and Hotaru's bland gaze. Apparently they'd forgotten I was even there. "Um … I'm sorry. I didn't… mean to interrupt."

Hotaru waved her hand as if to brush off my comment and continued to eat her muffin and Ruka sent over an apologetic gaze. I shrugged and leaned over myself. "So… how'd you guys get together anyway? I mean, Hotaru told me it was her first year here. How'd you guys ever …" A light bulb moment went off in my head and my jaw dropped just the slightest. "Did Natsume … hook you up?"

Ruka's blue eyes widened and his jaw slackened before he laughed. Hotaru's usually bland expression seemed to brighten as well. "Oh no, no, no," Ruka laughed between words. "I first met Hotaru at a dinner with Koko."

"Really?" I frowned, trying to picture Koko, Ruka and Hotaru having dinner together.

"Koko's parents tend to have many company dinners and Koko invites me along sometimes. He gets bored easily," Ruka supplied with a fond smile on his face.

He darted a glance over the table to Hotaru. "My parents were meeting up with Yome's parents at the time," she said as a way of explanation, clasping her hands together in her lap. "The Yome's have the most diverse company in the East. In the past half decade, they've been expanding at an alarming rate, adding dozens of different branches to their already large empire and are currently the wealthiest family in Asia," Hotaru informed in a monotonous voice, seemingly pleased with the amount of information she'd divulged.

"Wow, are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. "I would have never thought that Koko was the son of such a wealthy family. He seems so … down-to-earth."

Ruka chuckled and nodded with a quick bob of his head. "Yeah, Koko's a goof. He's not one to flaunt his status. Many people don't believe or don't know his family is the wealthiest in Japan."

I leaned my chin on the palm of my hand and thought about this. So Koko's parents owned a large company… one that Sumire's mother worked under. I tried to put the pieces together. Did that mean she'd known him long before she'd come to school or was this a recent thing?

An image of Koko's defeated form at the base of the tree made my heart lurch with sympathy. The little information that I'd managed to gather just wasn't enough and if I wanted to know more … I looked over at Hotaru, her eyes already on me with a knowing expression on her face.

Note to self: Must corner Hotaru after school.

* * *

Our class order switched around this week and I found myself sitting in Math class before lunch, twiddling the pencil between my fingers and trying to look at Natsume from the corner of my eyes without actually _making _it look like I was looking at him.

Jinno was making it especially easy because, though he'd been stubborn enough to go to work while he was sick with a bad cough, it meant that after fifteen minutes of note-taking, his voice had given up and he'd opted to write down the pages and the questions we had for homework, leaving a little over an hour for us to work on it in class.

Glancing over at him, I could barely see the lump of a figure sitting slumped over the desk, his forehead resting on crossed arms. Biting my lip, I looked back down at the textbook and tried my hand once again at the fourth question of the assignment.

There were numbers, letters, _Greek _letters and graphs all jumbled one on top of the other and I leaned back again to free myself from the growing ache in my head. Instead, I took to looking over at Natsume again and watched as his writing hand flew fluidly across his notebook, his eyes darting back and forth from textbook to lined paper.

Watching him made something … strange stir within my stomach. I blamed it on the fact that I'd spent what felt like five hours in a tree with him, waiting for Koko to leave so that we could sneak away, unnoticed. That, however, didn't happen and we'd been sitting on the branch for a little more than an hour, which is _really _damn long if you're sitting on a rough, hard surface.

The thing that unnerved me the most was, though we hadn't said no more than ten words to each other in that time, the silence was … comfortable. I would've thought it'd be awkward, sitting up there with him, trying to ignore the odd punch to the ground from Koko who, thank God, never thought to look up at the sky like I always found myself doing.

About fifteen minutes through the wait, I felt Natsume shift a bit and he promptly let go of my hand, which I totally forgot he'd been holding until the lovely warmth on my hand met chilly air. I blushed and looked up, only to find Natsume had turned _his _head away.

And for some reason, his reaction made me smile.

"What?"

I jerked in surprise and realized with mortification that I'd been openly staring at Natsume who had an indescribable expression on his face. His eyes, however, showed his blatant amusement and I forced myself not to blush hotly in return. "Did you say something?" I asked questionably and as innocently as I could.

He smirked softly and leaned lazily against his chair, dropping his pencil roughly on his notebook. "You were looking at me," he pointed out blandly, his eyes daring me to deny it.

"Oh, get over yourself, Natsume," I snorted, rolling my eyes. "I wasn't _looking _at you. I was looking out the window."

A bemused look passed across his face before he pulled it behind his cool mask and murmured, "Funny. I could've sworn 'out the window' meant something other than my face." He shrugged smoothly, "I guess I was wrong."

I frowned and tried not to pout by looking ahead to the front of the class, folding my arms. "You know, you always make me feel like an idiot," I mumbled, refusing to look at him.

I heard a soft scoff but nothing more until a light brush of wind on my arm made a shiver run down my spine. I turned to see him sitting with an elbow on his desk, facing my direction with a bored expression on his face. "What are you staring at?" I whispered darkly. "Why don't you stare at your fan-girls?"

His eyes darkened and he draped his arm over the back of his chair. "Let me get one thing straight, Polka Dots: I don't care about fan-girls or girls in general. That card is getting old, even for you," he scowled.

I waved off his comment and looked around the classroom, wondering why his fan-girls were so tame today. They weren't looking at him or even talking about him, which was strange upon itself and when I looked back at him, Natsume was still staring moodily in front of him, the scowl still on his lips.

I leaned over toward him and nudged him in the shoulder, "Seriously, Natsume. What'd you do to your fan-girls?"

He frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"They're so… quiet today," I murmured softly. I watched the incredulous look on his face and quickly amended, "What I mean is, they aren't… throwing themselves at you today. It's… scary."

He grunted a 'hn?' which I took as a question. "You know, it's not everyday when a group of girls doesn't come up to you in class and professes their undying love for you," I laughed lightly.

He set his lips into a thin line and tucked one hand into his pocket, "They're troublesome."

"Maybe," I agreed distractedly, looking around the room once more at the flushed faces of girls and their gossip. "Still, they seem _really_ excited about something and I'm curious as to what it is. Must be something huge," I muttered softly.

"Why do you even want to know?" Natsume asked, bored, as if it was a waste of his time. "It's probably something that doesn't have anything to do with you anyway."

"True," I frowned, looking into his eyes. "I think being stuck here is making me go crazy. I need some kind of brain stimulation before I go mad and gossip will give me something to laugh at."

An eyebrow rose in speculation and he sighed, turning away to wave over one of his friends. "What are they talking about?" he gestured to the group of girls with his head.

The boy, one I'd never seen before, looked over and laughed, "Supposedly there's some new kid—a guy—that looks almost like you and Luna's been showing him the ropes. You're losing your number one fan there, Natsume."

A burst of laughter left me and I sent Natsume a taunting look to which he returned with a dark scowl. The boy looked pleased and continued, "He came Sunday night and Luna's pretty much been flaunting him around like she's gotten a new chew-toy. Poor guy. If you had a heart, Natsume, you'd save the kid by actually, I dunno, _smiling_ in Luna's direction so she'll come back to you."

"You're pushing it, Hoshino," Natsume growled darkly and the boy immediately put his hands up in surrender, backing up to his desk. He sent a friendly smile in my direction before he resumed the conversation with his other friends.

I leaned my head against the palm of my hand and smiled at Natsume, who looked to be containing a look of disgust. "You can't say that you _wouldn't _want to know that," I said casually. "You're free, Natsume! With this guy posing as a Natsume lookalike, you're pretty much off the hook with your fans. You should be happy, not looking like a kicked puppy."

He grunted and I rolled my eyes, clasping my hands together and propping my chin on the knuckles. "I say we celebrate! You and me—I'll buy you lunch."

He rolled his neck, raising an eyebrow in my direction, "Weren't you going around trying to ignore me? Not that it worked but the effort was amusing."

He smirked and I didn't let it ruffle me. "I've realized the error of my ways and even though a wall _had _seemed like better company than yours, after spending an hour with you in a tree, I don't think you're all that bad."

"Charming, as always," Natsume muttered sardonically, rolling his eyes. "I've told you before; I won't let you pay for me again."

I couldn't help but smile and say, "And I've told _you _before, Natsume, that I won't allow you to pay for me. Besides, don't take it so seriously. It's not like this is a date or anything."

"Hn," his face was devoid of emotion and I wondered briefly what I said wrong.

I shook my head and furrowed my eyebrows, making sure to look him in the eye. "This is just a lunch between almost-friends, right?"

He frowned and looked like he was about to say something when the lunch bell rang and Jinno started in surprise, yelling about the homework that was due for next class. I quickly gathered my books, pencil and calculator into my bag and looked up to see Natsume standing by my desk. He shifted just a bit uncomfortable and his expression was unreadable but when he saw me looking he smirked softly, "Let's go."

* * *

"Are you okay with cafeteria food, Natsume?"

He shrugged, "Do what you want."

I let out a breath of annoyance and resisted the urge to trip him in the hallway. "Look, I'm trying to be nice, okay? You can play along, you know."

"Who says I want to be nice?" he shot back with a smirk. He carried his lone binder in one hand at his side with the other hand tucked into his pocket and I couldn't help but gaze at his slow, easy gait toward the cafeteria. Natsume didn't walk—he ambled or strolled and I had to take two steps to make up one of his long strides. It didn't even look like he noticed my difficulty keeping pace with him and I didn't bother exerting myself when I'd never make it to his side anyway. The thought was slightly disconcerting.

Instead, I allowed myself the chance to watch him from the sidelines, even though I was merely two steps behind, as per usual. Natsume was all pale skin and aristocratic features, topped with high cheekbones, the strong jaw and bone straight nose. But in contrast to the paleness of his skin, the darkness of his black hair and the harsh ruby-like eyes surrounded by dark, long eyelashes made his features striking.

His steps were light and each step was a strike of confidence. The casual move of his shoulders in rhythm with his steps spoke of a coil of potential power. Begrudgingly, I admitted, Natsume looked like he could take on the world with his handsome boyish looks and the confidence that exuded from his very pores.

But at the back of my mind, I knew there was something more that wasn't as smooth as the rest of him. He had some demons, too.

I blinked when we walked into the cafeteria and I caught a glimpse of Misaki and Rui at the table that I'd seen them at on Friday. Misaki caught me looking and put a hand up in a friendly salute and I waved before noticing that Hayate wasn't there.

"You know them?" Natsume's voice interrupted my inspection of the cafeteria.

"Yeah," I murmured distractedly. "Why?"

He paused. "The blonde likes my brother and my brother likes the pink one," he explained monotonously, scrutinizing the group with a small glare. "They're troublesome."

"Rui-senpai likes your brother?!"

He grunted as an answer before he pulled out a vibrating cell from his pocket. I turned away to give him privacy, "Ruka. Go ahead… I don't care… yeah… yeah… do what you want… later."

"You really are very talkative, aren't you?" I teased, watching as he raised a brow and shrugged, uncommitted. "Point taken," I said with a smile. "Okay, take a seat. I'll surprise you and you'd better eat whatever I buy or else!"

He stood uncertainly and I rolled my eyes before taking his arm and dragging him towards the nearest empty table, pushing him lightly into a chair. "Don't move," I told him sternly.

I made my way to the line-up and got two trays before waiting as the line moved slowly. From the corner of my eyes, I watched Natsume sit awkwardly by himself, laughing only when the odd girl would take a seat next to him, only to have them scurrying away in the next second. I sincerely wanted to know what he'd said to the girl to make her run that fast.

"Hey, did you hear about the new boy?!"

"Only about a million times! I heard he has sexy black hair like Natsume-sama's and beautiful blue eyes! Too bad Luna-sama's called him or else I'd _definitely _try my hand. At least with him, I might have a chance. I'm _tired _of loving Natsume-sama from afar. He doesn't _do _anything!"

There was a light giggle, then, "Natsume-sama said 'thank you' to me the other day!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah! Well—okay, no. But it was close! Ruka-sama dumped his soda on Natsume-sama's shoe and I gave him my favorite handkerchief and… h-he grunted at me!"

"You mean the brown and blue plaid handkerchief, Yumi? I saw one that looked like it on the park bench near the basketball court!"

"Uh… n-no. I've got a new favorite handkerchief. It's purple and red plaid patterned. I'm sure Natsume-sama will give it back to me."

"Whatever you say, Yumi. I think I'd rather have the new boy, though. Natsume-sama is too… cold. He doesn't _talk _to anyone."

"That's not true! … Why are you looking at me lik—okay, fine! He doesn't. He really should take a page from Akimoto-sama's book and go on dates with us! "

I rolled my eyes and quickly moved up the line, grabbing what I wanted and what I thought Natsume might want. After paying, I carefully balanced both trays and looked behind me to the two chattering girls who eyed both of my trays with slight shock and disgust but I shook it off and started toward Natsume, who was looking off in some random corner.

"Eat up, Italian-boy," I called lightly, placing the tray down in front of him with a large smile on my face. He looked down blankly at the lasagna, fries and soda and I frowned, fidgeting a little when he hadn't bothered to touch it. "Wait, you _do _like Italian food, don't you? I remember you saying that Italian was your favorite …"

"You actually remember that?" Natsume's eyebrow rose in slight surprise. "I told you that weeks ago."

"What can I say," I shrugged, embarrassed and realized I was still standing up. Quickly taking a seat, I tapped my temple knowingly, "Don't underestimate the power of my great memory."

He snorted softly and poked the lasagna around a bit before murmuring, "Why are you doing this?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a bite of my California roll after dipping it in some soy sauce.

"This," he gestured toward the table with his head. "It's not… you."

"Oh, really?" I replied sharply, inwardly wincing at my own harsh tone. "How would _you_ know?" He didn't answer and I took a sip of juice before I leaned back and watched him poke his food around. "Just because I wasn't too fond of you before, doesn't mean I can't warm up to you. I—" I looked away, slightly embarrassed and bit my lip. "I judged you too quickly, Natsume. I can't say that I know you at all right now, but after Friday at your house and then …" _our talk and the tree, _I wanted to say, I bit my tongue and rearranged my thoughts, "… afterward, I've decided that maybe you aren't the obnoxious, arrogant, smart ass that I thought you were."

He didn't reply after a moment and I bit my lip, unable to gouge his reaction when it was so well hidden under his mask of indifference. Finally, I heard him sigh, "Always showering me with compliments." Then, he took a bite of the lasagna.

I couldn't stop the laugh and the smile from spreading across my face.

"Mind if I sit here?" came the low baritone of a male's voice.

I looked up in surprise and my heart immediately started beating faster when I glimpsed clear, icy blue eyes. Natsume's voice cut me out of my reverie when he bit out, "No."

Reigning in my surprise, I shot Natsume a dark look and gestured to the chair beside Natsume. "No, go ahead. We don't mind at all."

He smiled, showing a set of blinding white teeth before taking a seat, "Thanks. I'm new here (Natsume muttered something that sounded like 'Obviously, you little prick'). My name's Kaoru Nendo." He offered a hand to Natsume who begrudgingly shook it and then, offered it to me.

I smiled. "It's nice to meet you. How's your first day been?"

I couldn't help but admire the fierce blue of his eyes before he replied, "Alright. Just like any normal day at a new school, I suppose. Everyone's been pretty nice and the girls here are pretty … forceful."

I laughed at that and heard Natsume snort before he continued eating. "Yeah, I suppose they are, aren't they, Natsume?"

He shot me a look of annoyance but Kaoru cut in, "So you're Natsume Hyuuga," he sounded like he'd solved a puzzle. "I guess I should've known since you have the trademark red eyes. Luna-san talks … _a lot_ about you."

"I bet she does," Natsume bit out dryly, drinking up his soda.

I leaned onto my elbows, "So Nendo-san, what else has Koizumi said to you?"

"Please, call me Kaoru." Comfortably, Kaoru leaned over and plucked one of Natsume's fries to which Natsume sent him a murderous glare and pushed the remaining box away from him. "She wasn't much of a guide, Luna-san, but she _did _tell me about the people here. What teachers are pushovers and the groups. The people in charge and who I'd better stay away from and all that stuff."

I perked up slightly and leaned back in my chair, thinking. "Who'd she say you'd better stay away from?"

"My, aren't you curious?" Kaoru smiled, taking a sip of my drink. I didn't mind—I was done but I didn't miss the aggravated look on Natsume's face.

I shrugged, "One of those peevish qualities I inherited from my mother, I suppose," I murmured with a smile.

He shrugged nonchalantly, picking up the box of fries that Natsume had deserted, proceeding to eat them lethargically, eyes calculating as he looked at me. I shifted under his gaze, curious. "Well, she told me to stay away from that group over by the corner because they were 'freaks'. No elaboration. She merely pointed out the people that we walked by and told me if they were weird or not. Um, some kid named Mochu," he rattled off a few more names and I frowned when Sumire and I made the list.

Kaoru leaned back against the chair and noticed my interest, "What is it?"

I laughed lightly and looked at the sky. No doubt I had an odd smile on my face. I looked over at Natsume who looked bored and I sent him a mischievous smile in which he frowned at.

I smiled at Kaoru and propped my chin up in the palm of my hand. "Oh, just curious: what did she say about Sumire Shouda and Mikan Sakura?"

Kaoru frowned a bit, thinking and the sun reflected in just the right angle to give me a good view of his profile which, I admitted, was terribly handsome. "I forgot what she said about Sumire Shouda. Luna-san gave me the impression that she is clingy and annoying. Luna-san said that if I spoke to her, she'd be tagging along with me for the rest of the year."

I bit down the urge to roam the school and slap Luna in the face but instead, nodded with a forced smile on my lips.

"Mikan Sakura, huh?" he ate a fry thoughtfully, running a hand through his black hair and smiling wryly, "Well, I'm sure you know this as well as I do. Luna-san said she was a back-stabbing bitch who sucked up to the teachers and ratted all of her friends to save her own ass," Kaoru laughed. "She said a lot of things, actually. This girl sounds like a real piece of work. Apparently, she goes after anything that has a Y chromosome and—"

"Shut the hell up," Natsume growled darkly, eyeing Kaoru with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine.

I kicked Natsume from under the table and he barely acknowledged that he'd felt anything. Kaoru, on the other hand, looked appalled and confused. I glared at Natsume, "Just ignore him, Kaoru-san. He's always like this. His charm, if you will."

Kaoru relaxed but the raised eyebrow remained. Sighing wistfully, he pouted in Natsume's direction, "Aw, for a hot guy, Natsume-kun, your manners aren't very attractive. And to think I came all the way over to see if you were interested."

Natsume's eyes flew open in alarm before he narrowed them dangerously and hissed, "You are _pushing _it, Nendo. _Don't _mess with me."

Kaoru waved him off with an innocent smile, "Chill out, Natsume-kun. I guess you're not my type after all, though your stature and frame are rather impressive."

I couldn't help the laugh that erupted from my throat and I put a hand on Natsume's arm when he tried to rise from his seat. From the dark glower on his face, I didn't think letting him go would make for a pretty sight.

"You're _gay_," Natsume muttered when he'd calmed down.

Kaoru nodded with a wide smile on his face, crossing his arms behind his head. "Wow, seeing your face was just _priceless_. Choosing to tell you two about it first was a good decision on _my _part," he chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you trust us with this," I smiled softly, letting go of Natsume's arm when I realized he wasn't going to fly off the handle.

Kaoru shrugged. "It's not a matter of trust," he replied vaguely, drinking the whole of my juice. "It's more that I'm … comfortable around you two. Oh," he replied as an afterthought, turning to face Natsume who stiffened, "—I didn't actually think you were gay."

Natsume glared and I laughed at his reaction, "Oh, c'mon Natsume. I told you nobody could possibly think you were gay!"

Kaoru shook his head, "Well, I don't know about the others but I have this built-in gaydar that goes off when I'm around a gay man or woman. And speaking of which, I'm getting a strong surge of gay over in that corner." He looked over his shoulder and I looked over to find Misaki's group, fooling around and laughing.

"You're probably talking about Rui-senpai. He's a good two years older than us, though," I replied with a fond smile when I glimpsed Hayate jumping into the scene to wave his arms about.

"Rui… senpai, huh?" a dark smile made its way across his lips. "Now _that_'s a sexy name."

I laughed, slapping Kaoru's arm playfully to which he clutched in mock pain before a bright smile lit up his face. The smile still remaining in his eyes, Kaoru pointed a fry in my direction, "Speaking of sexy names, what's yours? I didn't catch it."

"That's because I didn't throw it," I laughed. Sending a smirk in Natsume's direction to which he replied with a small smirk of his own, I turned back to Kaoru who was rummaging through the box of fries and replied, "The name's Mikan Sakura."

The box and its contents fell to the ground and Kaoru Nendo was at a loss for words.

_Nice._

* * *

**I'm proud to say that I managed to reply to ALL of the reviews for last chapter since it was winter break. But if I don't end up replying to your reviews later on, it's not because I didn't read it, because I read and appreciate _all _of your reviews but it's because time is scarce and I'm either working on the next chapter or fighting the battles of life. XD**

**In reply to a PM that I got a few days ago: **The reason I don't reply to anonymous reviews when emails are attached is because I had an embarrassing situation where I made the mistake of replying to the review and found out that the reviewer had given a fake email. What a conundrum. The email reply back to mine wasn't very flattering and I'd rather not have a repeat of that.

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	14. We Might As Well Be Strangers

**Disclaimer:** MHR does not own Gakuen Alice. However if Tachibana-sama were to fork it over for her birthday, she'd have no objections. :)

**Dedicated to: **FearandLoathingILV for the inspiration and Windigo for the sweetest review ever! Crimson Memories for the AWESOME fanvid to this story which can be found on my profile and to all of my reviewers, you guys rock my stinky, pinstriped socks!

* * *

_I don't know your face no more_

_It's just a place I'm looking for_

_We might as well be strangers in another town_

_We might as well be living in a different world…_

_"__We Might As Well Be Strangers__" - __**Keane**_

**Chapter Fourteen: We Might As Well Be Strangers**

Kaoru's blue eyes widened like saucers and I had to bite the inside of my cheek in order to keep a neutral expression on my face. His lips parted as if he'd wanted to say something several times before he sputtered, "You… you can't be! You're actually… _nice_!"

I shrugged, smiling wryly, "Everybody's opinions are different."

A strange expression came over his face before Kaoru narrowed his eyes and muttered, "What a _bitch_. You're not lying, are you?" He looked down at the tabletop, frowning to himself, "She can't be lying, and she didn't try to jump me. Not even once…"

I looked up, startled when Natsume's leg accidentally jostled against mine and I quickly pulled my legs back ignoring the smirk that had slowly come upon his lips. _Jerk_…

Faintly, Kaoru continued muttering to himself, and I took to looking around the cafeteria, wondering where Sumire had gone. I hadn't so much as seen a hair of her green hair all day and that was strange upon itself. Then again, the fight we'd had hadn't put her in a good mood since.

"If you think anymore, you'll get a brain hemorrhage," Natsume muttered bluntly, eyeing Kaoru with a smirk on his face. "Not that I'd have a problem with that," he said as an afterthought.

"Will you look at that," I muttered. I could feel the smile on my lips when Natsume narrowed his eyes. I shrugged nonchalantly at his penetrating gaze, "Hotaru said the _exact_ same thing. You two are a lot alike!"

"We are nothing alike," he growled.

"Oh, you're alike alright," I laughed at the look of slight disgust on his face, "Oh c'mon, Natsume. Hotaru is awesome!"

He looked like he was about to retort when his face cleared and a small tug of his lips heavenward made something stir within my stomach. I wasn't going to lie and say I wasn't confused at the sudden change of facial expression. One moment, he looked like he was about to bite my head off and the next, he was almost-kind-of smiling. I was unnerved, to say the least.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged blandly, the moment seeming to have come and passed in a second but his shoulders seemed less stiff and the vein that seemed to want to pop from his neck receded to give the clean, smooth complexion that he'd had before. And suddenly it dawned on me. _I'd just indirectly called him awesome_.

He saw me, I suppose, looking ready to burst a blood vessel at my realization and to add fuel to the fire, he added, "I knew you'd fall for me sooner or later."

_Smart ass._

Seriously, Natsume is bipolar. I really don't understand how he goes from being sullen and almost mysterious, to being bold and arrogant. I remember him wanting _nothing_ to do with me two days ago and now, it seemed like he was actually _enjoying_ my company! That or Kaoru's and for some reason, I doubted Natsume had forgiven the boy for pulling the _"I'm gay, I kind of hoped you were, too", _deal.

"Keep dreaming, Natsume," I rolled my eyes, "—that fantasy isn't going to happen anytime soon," I crossed my arms, daring him to say otherwise.

"But you didn't say that it wouldn't happen," Natsume smirked, leaning against the hard surface of the chair. One of his infuriating eyebrows were raised and I was infinitely aware of the dark crimson of his eyes in sharp contrast to his otherwise pale complexion.

"I_…" _I sent him a glare, "Jerk."

I bit my lip, huffing silently at the victorious gleam in his eye and I snapped my gaze away from his before I submitted myself to the unexplainable urge that wanted to throw me over the table and slap the look off his face. He was so _confusing_, I could've sworn he looked too pleased with himself.

Instead I looked back at Kaoru whose blue eyes didn't seem so confused anymore and his expression seemed to be one of intense interest. I frowned slightly, "What is it?"

Blinking rapidly, Kaoru's startled expression relaxed and he grinned like a Cheshire cat, saying airily, "Just admiring the sexual tension that the two of you are diffusing into the air. Then again, I can understand why someone would want to jump her. She has that breakable I-want-to-protect-her kind of charm, doesn't she? I know of a friend that would _love_ to meet you, Mikan-chan!"

I don't quite remember what happened because the next second seemed almost like a blur. Vaguely, I remembered the silence and I couldn't even _begin_ to understand how I'd managed to throw myself at Natsume who'd started to twist his fist into Kaoru's button-up shirt. I swear, I'd like to point out now that if it weren't for me, Natsume would be thrown into the slammer with all of the swearing and the murderous intent that was _thick_ like a bubble of gas around him.

"She's a _girl_," he hissed in a low voice, "Don't talk to her like that."

"You just make me _quiver, _Natsume_-kun." _There was a wide grin on Kaoru's face and he didn't seem at all aware of the disturbing death glares that seemed to be coming non-stop in his direction. That or he didn't care.

I squeezed in the middle and shoved the two of them apart, planting a hand firmly on both of their chests. Or was it 'planting a hand on their _firm _chests'? I hid the dark blush and opted to glower at Natsume as he glared over my shoulder. Faintly, I could hear Kaoru chuckle under his breath and I couldn't _believe_ that these two were being so _stupid._ I mean, Natsume was getting _way_ too worked up and Kaoru was obviously just kidding so I just didn't get what all this commotion was about.

So it didn't take me long to abandon the anger that was focused on the two of those idiots and peer anxiously out the large windows of the cafeteria where Aoi was frantically trying to get out of Akimoto's grasp. My reaction was something I became strangely proud of.

What I normally would have done was yell bloody murder and tell Akimoto to back the hell off, causing an almighty scene.

What I ended up doing was shoving Natsume away from Kaoru and running out the door and toward the scuffling pair. Briefly I wondered why there were two blondes off to the side, pale and immensely sick-looking. But in a second, that was out of my mind and I was storming towards the struggling duo.

"Let go of her, Akimoto!" I hissed in warning once I was a few feet away from them. I could feel my lungs burning up and my heart pounding out of my chest because I was so _angry_. What was he doing with her arm like that? What business did he have practically _attacking_ her all of a sudden?

Akimoto's head came up sharply and his eyes widened a bit before he rolled his eyes, holding his arm up, "I think what you mean to say is that Aoi-chan should let go of _me_," he drawled sardonically, wriggling away from her grasp.

Aoi had her fingers wrapped around his arms frantically but didn't bother to acknowledge my arrival. She didn't budge, her eyes ablaze with fury and her grip, if anything, tightened if Akimoto's wince was anything to go by.

Stopping abruptly, I regarded the scene, incapable of understanding.

"Aoi, what are you _doing_?"

She didn't bother tearing her eyes off of him but merely snarled, "Can you just _stay _out of this? This has nothing to do with you!"

Well, if that wasn't just a slap in the face. It shouldn't have hurt that much but she was so _sweet_ and I know it sounds bad but I thought she held me in higher esteem than that. Still partially stung by the comment, I frowned and said, "Let him go, Aoi."

"Yeah, _Aoi_," he mocked, his voice downright condescending, "—why don't you let me go and we can forget this ever happened, hm?"

"_You dirty little sneak! If you think I'm just going to let you go after all of this time, you've got anoth—!"_

"Aoi," a stern voice from behind me muttered.

His voice annoyed the hell out of me. I didn't know whether it was because the voice belonged to _him_ or because he managed to walk toward the scene without me noticing but I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his monosyllabic command.

"Hyuuga," Akimoto straightened up, eyes closed as though he was exasperated.

"Akimoto," Natsume replied smoothly, slowly advancing and taking Aoi's arm. She held fast and I watched from behind them, helplessly wondering just what the heck was going on. He said a few low words that made Akimoto's lips loosen into a smile and Aoi drop his arm, clenching her fists at both sides. I watched as Akimoto rubbed his arm gingerly. "Let the girls go," Natsume ordered calmly, allowing Aoi to put her hand in his.

"What?" Akimoto sneered, "—you can't hold onto your own so you're going after mine? Sorry, Hyuuga but they're hooked. They're too far gone now."

Confused and not liking in the least that the three of them seemed to be speaking in another language, I took a step closer wondering why those familiar words seemed so different when strung together.

Akimoto said one more thing and Natsume's back stiffened before he glanced back furiously, his eyes displaying angry fire before he stepped forward and grabbed Akimoto by the collar of his shirt, exchanging small murmurs of what could only be threats.

And I had a horrible feeling this had something to do with me.

Both boys seemed to be glowering at each other before Akimoto put his hands up and backed away and I was startled when I glimpsed Natsume looking over his shoulder once more before he pulled Aoi away under heavy protests and walked the other way. I looked between both males and watched as Akimoto waved cheerfully at me before taking out his cell phone and dialing rapidly, walking towards both blondes. Natsume and Aoi, on the other hand, made a quick beeline toward the school.

And me?

I was left behind wondering just what the heck happened.

* * *

"One more time, my star! I know you can shine brighter than _that_!"

English.

It had always been my favorite subject. The lessons were simple and transitioned easily from one to the next. The flow of words, the deep, underlying meanings and the breathtaking imagery were among my favorite reasons I'd loved reading books as a child.

If they weren't going to be re-enacted by me, of course.

"I told you I'd make a better lead than Mikan-san," Luna whispered, laughing silently in the background and I rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but think it was true. She was used to the spotlight and the crowds. I didn't mind it, of course, but acting just wasn't my thing. I tended to be a social retard in situations like this.

"Nonsense," Narumi chirped airily, walking up and taking me by the shoulders. He held me at arms length, peering curiously within my eyes enough to make me shiver and said, "You can do this! The wonders of teenage love are already within you!"

I sighed softly, biting my lip. I wondered how crushed he'd feel if I let him down. "I'm no good at this, Narumi-sensei," I met his gaze determinedly and lowered my voice a few octaves to speak without being heard from the others, "I don't know what you saw in me before but I think maybe you should reconsider Juliet's role. I'm not the … star that you think I am."

Narumi sighed dreamily, slightly disappointed. Suddenly, his bright velvet eyes brightened even more and he turned to the class to tell them to practice their own lines. Taking me by the shoulders and leading me out of the circle, Narumi flopped into his chair and gazed at me pensively. Finally, he smiled and said, "When you read before, I was captured. Only a star can do that."

"I don't know, Narumi-sensei." I shuffled my feet but couldn't look away from his eyes, "I think you mistook the star when in reality, it was just the flicker of a match."

A wry smile made its way on Narumi's handsome face and he took both of my hands firmly, "Stars don't just sputter and die out overnight, Mikan-chan. And yes," he grinned, "—what I saw in you is definitely a star. Stars glow and they sparkle but it takes a _long_ time for them to disappear and even then, all they've done is relocated. You're just like a star, Mikan. You just need to grow a little more before you're bright enough to take the sky."

I blinked.

How are you supposed to say 'no' to that?

_Nobody_ can say 'no' to that. There was something about the fact that he was smiling that hopeful little smile and the way I was holding his pinky with my whole fist like I used to do with my dad. It could've been something to do with the fact that he had such _faith_ in me. He saw something that _I_ obviously couldn't and just the thought of somebody putting so much expectation and belief into something that I couldn't fathom made it even harder to refuse. That and his rather large violet eyes were too darn hard to deny.

If only mom could see me now, she'd go _crazy_.

Our English class had been split up into two factions, the 'Beauty and the Beast' crew and the 'Romeo and Juliet' crew. Narumi-sensei was going to take time to direct us both as to what would be expected of us and all of those things. He'd even gone through the trouble to make a schedule about afterschool rehearsals before the play and booked a trip to the theatre in Okinawa to watch a presentation of 'Romeo and Juliet'.

The 'Beauty and the Beast', however, wasn't going to be shown in theatres so the cast would be meeting in the drama room of the school in order to watch old movies and theatre productions of the play. To say the schedule was hectic was one thing. We'd continue our English units in class and be expected to come to our separate rehearsals three to four times a week after school. Briefly, I wondered how Natsume would juggle it all since soccer games were starting in two weeks and the first swim meet was supposed to be held tomorrow. Then again, I'd heard he'd done things like these before. Events that made him have to juggle several after school activities, I mean. It was a wonder how he could keep his grades up so high.

"Ready to go, Mikan-chan?"

I blinked up and was momentarily blinded by golden blonde hair, then nodded with a sigh. Koko smiled a small smile and handed me my script, "Don't you look excited," he snickered.

"What about you?" I pointed out, huffing, "—you seem to be enjoying yourself _entirely_."

"Why not?" he was still grinning, "—this isn't too bad. I'd rather be doing this than getting scolded by mom."

"Your mom? Why would your mom scold you? If you're at school, you're at school. What would she have to say about that?"

Koko's grin never wavered and he shrugged nonchalantly, peering at the other group, no doubt looking for Sumire. "My mom thinks I waste time in school," he said with a small snort. "The family company will be my responsibility, after all!" he exclaimed with mock enthusiasm. "You're a smart girl, what would you do if your parents expected you to come back home after school to learn the ropes?"

I bit my lip, looking into Koko's knowing brown eyes, "The same thing as you. Find an excuse to _stay _at school, I suppose."

"Exactly!" he pounded a fist into his open palm, a bright grin of satisfaction on his face. "I knew you'd understand!"

"So," I asked slowly, watching as Narumi paraded around our group, making displays of how the characters were supposed to be played, "—do you actually like soccer and swimming and… _this_. Or are you just doing it so that you don't have to go back?"

"Of course I like it!" he exclaimed, mock astonished that I'd say such a thing. "Never did like soccer much until I met Ruka and Natsume though. Those two have been playing since we were kids."

"No wonder they're so good…"

He pursed his lips pensively and even when serious, his expression made him look like he was putting on an act, "They were good alright. When we were ten, Natsume pissed off a couple of seniors by making an impossible shot they'd been practicing for days and they ended up calling an informal game, minimal rules, five seniors against five elementary kids." A large reminiscent smirk lit up his face when he asked wryly, "Guess who won?"

I looked over to Natsume's group and carefully pinpointed Natsume sitting beside Ruka, looking not at all interested in what Ruka was telling the group. He was looking out the window, shoulders slightly slumped back against the back of his chair and black messy hair swaying from the wind coming from the open window.

"You guys, I'm betting," I smiled a small smile.

"You bet," Koko beamed, "We started off pretty bad but when one of the seniors took out Ruka, I've never seen Natsume play the way he did." I watched as Koko turned to look at Natsume and he said slowly, "You know those questions, 'if you were an animal, what would you be?'," he asked in a low voice, "—Natsume would be a cat. You wouldn't understand unless you saw him playing soccer that day but Natsume, he will take someone _down_ if they hurt his friends."

A silence came over the both of us and I paid little attention to the rest of the goings-on within the class. With Koko and I talking like we had, it'd given some sort of indication that we'd been practicing when in truth, we'd been doing no such thing. I didn't care though. I found it much more interesting learning more about Natsume. He never spoke much and what little things he did say were overshadowed by his actions. Even now, just watching him after what Koko had said, I could remember little instances that he'd stepped in. Especially in Akimoto's case…

"Can I ask you something, Koko?"

"Besides that, yes," Koko flopped down into a chair with a cheeky grin on his face. He leaned an elbow on the desk surface and blinked, "Shoot."

Fiddling with the cuffs of my sleeves, I took the seat across from him, "What did Akimoto do to the Hyuugas?"

The grin strained slightly, "What are you talking about?"

"C'mon Koko, I'm not completely stupid," I rolled my eyes. "Every time Akimoto comes up, one of them goes berserk, excluding Natsume but even then, he turns into this… eerily calm Natsume that freaks the brunette out of me," I murmured in a whisper so that we weren't overheard. Koko pursed his lips, brown eyes no longer bright, the trademark of his goofy nature. I sighed, motioning for him to follow me. We settled down into the far corner of the classroom where we could see everybody in the classroom and I looked at him expectantly.

"Mikan, I don't know…"

"I _know_ there's something going on," I clenched my fists. "Today… today at lunch, I saw Aoi and Akimoto outside and she was holding his arm and looking so _angry_. Then Natsume came over and it was like they were talking another language and when it was over, all of them just left, just like that," I snapped my fingers for effect.

Koko fiddled with his fingers, unable to meet my eyes and it was so obvious that he _knew_ something. He _knew. _

"You…" he ruffled his hair in frustration, keeping his eyes on the ground, "—you wouldn't want to know, Mikan. Things like this were meant to be buried. If anything, the only people that would be capable of telling you exactly…_what_ you're talking about is…" he gritted his teeth and sent me an apologetic look. "Listen, it's best we drop the subject, ok?"

I fixed my lips to protest but the look of concentration on his face was hard to refuse. He was having troubles keeping the secret to himself, I could tell, but something deep inside me wasn't sure I wanted to know what was going on. It was true, none of this was any of my business. My father had told me countless times that I always managed to dig myself into holes that were always a hassle to get out of, no matter how introverted I was at my old school but here, it was different. Everything was different here. The rules didn't apply.

My father was a very smart man, though he never _did _have an interest in academics. His talents and passions were directed to the arts and with a couple of light pencil strokes and a smear of paint on his cheek, my mom had fallen in love. Or at least, that's how she liked to start off the story. To be honest, he was the one that I came to when I had problems, either with school or with life and if I could guess right, my mother did the same. Now with him gone and my mom roaming the world God knows where, I missed him now more than ever.

"Mikan-chan?"

I blinked, looking away from my clasped hands up to meet a pair of clear grey eyes, "Nobara, hey!"

"Narumi-sensei wants… all of us to go back to the circle…" she fiddled with her fingers and bit her lip.

"Okay, thanks Nobara!" I smiled, getting to my feet. I reassured Koko with a smile that the subject was dropped and his face immediately brightened with relief and he bounded to the group, punching Natsume playfully before taking a seat to his left. I watched a scowl make its way across Natsume's face. He lifted his head up and for a second, our eyes met.

He broke away a few moments later and I tried to tell myself the butterflies in my stomach had nothing to do with it.

* * *

The bell rang and everyone piled out of the classroom and I found myself being pulled along with them, the river of students pushing me along the current. Managing to flatten myself against the wall, I waited and quickly caught up to Hotaru and the boys. It was a good thing too, because walking, the other students gave them a wide berth and I found there weren't claws in my sweater and the frequent shove into my back.

"I need to talk to you, Hotaru."

She raised an eyebrow but nodded resignedly, pulling away from the group. I caught a glimpse of all the boys waiting, "Wait, you're not supposed to be going somewhere, are you? I can wait until you get back to our room and ask you then, if that's okay."

"Ruka can wait," she replied, violet eyes boring into mine.

"Um, actually Ruka and Hotaru are in a real hurry, Mikan!" Koko piped in, cheerfully shoving the Imai over to her boyfriend.

Hotaru's eyes narrowed dangerously, "You just _touched _m—"

"How about I walk with you?" Koko cut her off, coming over to take my arm. "Natsume, you can come too if you like."

Suspicious, Natsume shrugged, eyeing me warily before casting Koko a warning glance, "Where are you taking her?"

"Here and there," Koko replied vaguely, "We're just going to talk."

He raised an eyebrow and once again, stared at him pointedly, "I can catch up later."

"Okay!" Koko called over his shoulder, steering me to the front doors. "I hope you don't mind, Mikan but I really need to talk to you."

"No, I don't mind. What is it?"

He walked quickly towards a nearby bench and patted the spot beside him, a frown on his face. Before I could even take a step toward the seat, he asked suddenly, "Have you spoken to Sumire lately?"

I stilled immediately and hiked the straps of my backpack more securely, "Not since our fight…"

"Could you talk to her? See how she's doing?" Koko asked hopefully, stretching out his legs and looking towards the girls dorm, frowning. "I… I did something really stupid to her and now she's… well, she's really mad. I kind of hoped she'd be in school today so I could apologize but she wasn't so… I dunno."

"What… _kind _of stupid thing did you do?" I asked, knowing full well.

A faint blush stretched the length of his cheeks before he groaned, "I kissed her! How could I have been so _stupid_?" He put his head in his hands and leaned his elbows on his knees, briefly rubbing his cheek and continuing to look at the ground with renewed interest. "I've screwed up _everything._"

"Why would that make you stupid?" I asked cautiously, taking a seat beside him. "Besides, you don't regret it, do you?"

"No! Well, I don't know," Koko exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "It wasn't supposed to _happen _like that! I had it all planned out because you know, girls like all of that romantic stuff and it's not like I don't know what she likes but to do it when she was _angry_ with me… ugh—I'm such an idiot!"

"Koko…"

He turned around, partially straddling the bench in order to meet my gaze with his hazelnut eyes. "I _know_, Sumire. It may not look like we get along but I've known her for a long time. We were such good friends when we were little. Then she got a boyfriend and everything changed. She went to a Catholic school and I went here and the only time we actually… _talked_ was when her mom brought her to work…" He ran a hand down his face and smiled an apologetic smile. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"I think I can… _kind of _understand a little better," I replied helpfully.

He paused and for a moment, we didn't break the silence until he whispered, "Am I stupid… to like a girl that's idolizing my best friend…?"

I dropped my bag to the ground and pressed the palms of my hand onto the cool, hard surface of the cement bench, leaning back against my hands. Koko slumped against the backrest and I bit my lip, rearranging my thoughts in order to answer him properly. "I don't think you're stupid, no. Truthfully, you're right. Sumire _is _idolizing Natsume but idolizing someone is far different than loving them, right?"

"You're bringing my hopes up, you know…" Koko pointed out after a minute, half grinning and half pensive. "Still, sometimes I don't think…well of course she's worth it but sometimes she makes me feel like… all of this… the things that I do… it's all for nothing."

I didn't say anything and I don't think he was expecting me to. Koko, when he spoke, it had more to do with getting something off of his chest than really asking for advice. He had his own agenda and right now, it just looked like he was confused on whether or not he'd proceed with his plans or not. _Ha! So much for not liking her, Koko…_

"…Do you think I could… come over?"

"To my dorm?" I asked, getting over the initial surprise.

He shrugged, "I want to talk to her. Or at least… get to see her."

I peered at him curiously. With his dirty mess of dark blonde hair and soft eyes, his easy grin and the large dose of humor, it was a wonder why Sumire was being so stubborn. It was so obvious he cared…

"Okay."

An appreciative smile crossed Koko's lips before he took both of my hands, "Thanks… for listening, Mikan. That was just what I needed."

"What are friends for?" I smiled, punching him playfully in the arm. "C'mon, let's go."

Koko looked over his shoulder and pushed me back down on the bench, "Actually, Mikan. I'll go ahead and walk over. I don't mind waiting a bit."

"What are you talking about?"

_"Polka Dots."_

I groaned softly and looked over my shoulder, glimpsing Natsume shuffling behind the bench. He raised a sardonic eyebrow before taking a seat, "Aren't you welcoming," he drawled lightly, draping an arm across the back of the bench.

"It's not that I don't want you here, Natsume. I just don't like not understanding things and with you, nothing ever makes sense."

A pleased smirk seemed to make its way onto Natsume's lips before his gaze turned pensive. I waited, looking ahead at the forest of trees and the far buildings nearby.

"Where's Aoi?"

"She has somewhere to go after school," he murmured distractedly.

After a long period of silence, I looked over to see him looking at me intently and I recoiled, surprised. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I'm sure it's you that wants to talk to _me _about something," he spoke nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow. Crimson eyes immediately narrowed a bit before he bit out, "Koko told me you were asking about Aoi and _him_."

_Koko, that sly bastard—!_

I lifted my chin, unashamed, "So what if I did. I think it's really unfair for you to tell me to stay away from Akimoto all the time when you won't give a good reason why. And then I see _Aoi_—Aoi of all people!—fighting with him and all _you _do is come in and whisper some things and it's all over!"

"It doesn't concern you," he shot back, irritated.

"If it doesn't concern me, why do you feel the need to remind me to stay away from him? Obviously he's done something awful to you guys or _something_ or else you wouldn't care what I do!"

His eyes flashed momentarily before his jaw slackened and he exhaled, turning away from me. "You should just trust me on this. He's bad news."

"Trust you?!" I laughed. "You want me to _trust _you? And why should I do something like that? I barely know you!"

His eyes darkened immediately and I resisted the urge to swallow hard at the intimidating aura that he'd suddenly put up. If I didn't know any better, he looked like he wanted to sock me in the face. "Can't you just _listen _for once?! What do you have to lose by staying away from him?!" he growled, fixing his lips into a thin line of irritation. "Look, let me ask you this, what do I have to gain from keeping you away from him?"

I thought for a fraction of a second before saying through clenched teeth, "Nothing."

"Then we understand each other," he stood up, sticking a hand into his pocket. He made to walk away but I stuck out a hand and stopped him.

"Then tell me one thing, Natsume," I looked determinedly in his eyes. Threads of my bangs slid into view and I quickly pushed it away, ignoring his look of distraction. "I don't need your vague answers and your little riddles, I want a straight answer. If you're not gaining anything from informing me, then why are you even bothering to warn me about Akimoto?"

He blinked, his eyes widening a fraction before he looked away, "You don't need to know that either."

"That's not a straight answer!"

His moment of brief… emotion, if you'd call it that, seemed to pass and he turned to glare with annoyed ruby eyes. Knitted black eyebrows and a frame of impossibly long, black eyelashes enhanced his look of displeasure, "A straight answer? Akimoto has his own hidden agendas. He's not what he pretends to be."

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms, "What part of no 'vague answers and little riddles' did you not understand, Natsume?"

He rolled his eyes, "To me, that's not vague."

I stomped my foot, thoroughly exasperated before I glared at him, hard. "You're impossible to understand!" I growled sharply. My anger only peaked when a small smirk made its way onto his face.

"Good, let's keep it that way."

I blinked at his retreating figure, my thoughts the usual muddled mess whenever he opened his _damn_ mouth. Biting my lip and resisting the white hot flare of anger in my stomach—oh, to hell with it.

"I SAID NO VAGUE ANSWERS AND RIDDLES!"

Huffing angrily, I ripped my bag off the ground and stormed over to my dorm where Koko was waiting, whistling merrily… almost innocent. He gave a small wave and threw a friendly arm over my shoulder before I elbowed him in the gut, "You traitor."

"Oh, c'mon Mikan! Don't be like that!"

I glared at him pointedly and he made a show of zipping up his lips and throwing away an invisible key. "You sold me out to Natsume," I deadpanned simply, "Couldn't it just have been kept between us?"

"But it's his business! This is his _family_ we're talking about! I can't just—"

"Of course you could've! You just didn't have to _say _anything!"

"Easier said than done," he grumbled, his voice laden with sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes, taking the keycard from my bag and swiping it, before opening the door.

Promptly, I froze.

Sumire was standing in the middle of the room, looking her usual done up self, every swipe of mascara and every wrinkle of her clothes ironed to perfection. Except for one thing…

"—I'm really bad at keeping secrets so when you start _telling _me…" Koko trailed off, stumbling slightly and only managed to stay on his feet by grabbing the door handle in an iron steel grip. His eyes widened a fraction and my mouth was agape.

"Sumire…" I breathed slowly.

In a hard, quiet voice, Koko managed, "What the _hell _did you do to your _hair_?!"

Indeed, her hair was no longer a glossy, forest green but a deep, jet _black_.

* * *

**I want to thank **_everybody _**for nominating this story and me, in general for that matter, at Corvus corone's GARC awards! Even if I don't win, just knowing that you guys took the time to read and that you thought it was good enough to **_be _**nominated is enough to keep me happy for a dozen lifetimes! Thank you, you guys! If I could share a basket of cupcakes and fries with the lot of you, I'd do it in a second! :) Oh, and I think one of the best reasons for these GARC awards is to go and **_read _**the nominated stories. I, myself, have already bookmarked less than a dozen stories and when Spring Break comes, you can bet that I'll be reading. :)**

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My Hopeless Romantic


	15. Everybody's Changing

**Disclaimer:** MHR does not own Gakuen Alice. However if Tachibana-sama were to fork it over for her birthday, she'd have no objections. :) You bet, T-sama. It's on the third!  
**Dedicated to: **Soumyee for being the only one to guess right about Akimoto!  


* * *

_So little time _

_Try to understand that I'm _

_Trying to make a move just to stay in the game _

_I try to stay awake and remember my name _

_But everybody's changing _

_And I don't feel the same. _

_Oh, everybody's changing _

_And I don't feel the same…_

_"Everybody's Changing" - **Keane**_

**Chapter Fifteen: Everybody's Changing**

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

Koko's eyes darkened considerably before he managed to let go of the door handle and take a step closer to her, his eyes never leaving the darkness of her hair. Sumire, who seemed infinitesimally pleased with herself, narrowed her eyes at the boy and immediately put her hands on her hips.

"Why did you do that to your _hair_?" Koko exclaimed with disbelief. "I can't—you … it's _black_."

Sumire rolled her eyes as if his stupidity was painful and snorted, "Way to state the obvious. Don't change the damn subject." Her eyes narrowed at me and she hissed, "Oh what, so you've decided to string him along, too huh? Trying to shove the fact that you're snagging all of the guys into my face?"

It was _my _turn to narrow my eyes and I stepped forward, swinging my bag into the corner of the living room, glaring, "In fact, _no_. If you weren't being so absolutely stubborn and ignorant, you'd finally _see _what's been staring you in the face for the whole time we've been here!"

I looked at Koko pointedly who still seemed transfixed on Sumire's head of black hair. It was a dark shade, glossy, and tumbling down the length of her back, stopping just two inches below the middle of her torso. Sumire rolled her eyes when he mumbled, "… hair—it's _black_… not green but _black."_

"The only thing that's been staring _me_ in the face," Sumire snarled angrily, clenching a fist into the fabric of the couch, "—is the fact that my _'friend'_ has been _lying_ to me!"

"Can you just get _over _it, Sumire?" I breathed hotly, resisting the urge to come up to her and shake her by the shoulders. "Let me just _talk _to you, at least!"

She lowered her voice and her eyes darkened, narrowed to slits, "You _lied _to me."

I snapped my mouth close, unwilling to let my emotions go out of control until Koko, apparently out of his stupor at last, piped in, "Technically, she didn't _lie _to you. She just didn't tell you the whole story."

"You're not _helping_, Koko," I snapped angrily and he put his hands up in surrender before flopping down on the couch and scrutinizing Sumire's hair, once again, with a critical eye.

"Look, you didn't ask, ok? I'm sorry if you expect me to tell you every event that happens, has happened or _will_ happen in my life but I didn't know and I didn't realize that that's what a friendship with you entails." My speech, which had started out apologetic and quiet turned sarcastic in a second and I didn't bat an eyelash when Sumire's eyes sharpened.

"Friendship? And I thought _I _was a retard in the friends department," Sumire scoffed acidly. "When you have a friend, you're supposed to expect that they're going to tell you the truth. When you have a friend who _knows _you like this guy, your _friend _isn't supposed to go after him. She's supposed to help out that friend to get the guy to like her back. Friends aren't supposed to go behind another friend's back," Sumire breathed through clenched teeth, her arms literally shaking. "—friends are supposed to share things like this. A friend is somebody that a girl can depend on. I don't know what _you _think a friend is but that's a friend to me and you are _not _a friend. Not anymore."

Her shoulders shook and she brushed her black hair from her face, composing herself. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but shake my head. "A friend? _I'm _not a friend? Open your _damn _eyes, Sumire! I've been trying to be a friend to you the first day we met!" I walked up to her until we were a mere foot away, "—so I didn't tell you I was having dinner at the Hyuugas' place, so what? You want honesty, Sumire? You think a friend should be telling her friends things about their everyday lives? To be _honest," _I murmured, a bit out of breath, "—I'm sick of you. You're being a _hypocrite_! Honesty? Truth? What about your family, huh? What about your mom and whatever else you didn't want to talk about? I asked you as a friend because I was worried and I wanted to _know _you. I'm sorry if _that _was too much to ask but a friend to me should know things about her friends. I never even wanted to be just a _friend_, I wanted to be your best friend. I want to be someone you can tell secrets to and trust that I won't tell anyone. I wanted to be somebody that doesn't just know the obvious things like you're a fashion fiend. I want to be able to know those stupid little things about you and be able to write an embarrassing biography and… I—"

I flushed hotly and I heard Koko whistle low under his breath, "An embarrassing biography, where do you _get _these things?"

"I read it somewhere," I muttered in embarrassment. Struggling whether or not to look at Sumire's reaction, I hesitantly lifted my head up to find her green eyes unusually bright…_wet…_

"Listen, I'm not just spouting random things," I rubbed my arm awkwardly, "—my dad used to tell me the things he did with his friends, especially his best friends. How he called his best friend's mom "Mom" and his grandfather "Gramps" and how they ended up in jail together and it's…" I huffed silently. "It sounded nice, okay? I'm trying to make an effort. Just… just _talk_ to me_._ _Trust _me."

"I can't," she choked, looking away. "I just can't."

"Why not?" I winced at the pleading in my voice, "What have you got to lose by trusting me?"

_Anyone else for that matter…_

She looked up, her green eyes teary when she whispered, _"_Everything."

* * *

I left the both of them behind because Sumire had locked herself in her room and Koko was busy sitting outside the door, trying to talk to her. I had the faint suspicion that she'd fled in order to cry, if the brightness of her eyes was anything to go by.

I felt the faint stirring in my heart and I bit my lip, trying to ease the slight ache. _Sumire_… I knew I was never really mad at her. Just frustrated, really. And now, I knew she needed friends more than ever. I still didn't understand what she was going through. I still didn't understand why she had such a hard time trusting me. But I understood well enough that when she was ready, I'd be there for her to talk to. That was what a real friend, wasn't it? Wasn't a friend somebody that was always there when the friend needed them the most?

I jerked slightly when my butt started vibrating and blinking rapidly, I had the sense to fish out the cell phone in my pocket, vaguely registering the fact that it was Hotaru calling.

"_Five minutes and I'll be there,"_ her faint, monotonous voice flowed into the receiver.

"Be there?" I questioned, "Oh, Hotaru… I'm not in our rooms. I'm kind of walking aimlessly while Sumire and Koko work it out in there. "

"_Yome's in our dorm room,"_ I could practically _see _her narrowing her eyes. _"Get him out of there."_

"I can't. Can't we just let them work it out amongst themselves?" I asked, looking around and spotting a bench nearby. Taking a seat, I shifted the phone to my left hand and stuffed the right into my pocket, "What did you want to talk about? Are you heading over there right now?"

I heard her exhale slowly before she spoke, _"Ruka was going to drive me over,"_ she answered coolly. _"You wanted to talk."_

Startled, I remembered easily and burst out, "Oh right! But we don't have to talk about it in there. How about we meet somewhere? Preferably a quiet place because I wanted to talk about Aoi and Akimoto, you know? To know what's up with them, I mean."

There was a long pause before she said blandly, _"That's what you wanted to talk about?"_

"Well, yeah," I fiddled with the frayed ends of my jeans. "That's ok, right?"

"_I'll be there in three minutes."_

"I'm sitting on a bench over—"

"_I know where you are." _Click.

I breathed slowly, looking at the small cell phone screen and after a slow moment, I flipped it shut, waiting and wondering how Hotaru knew. I could feel a small area at the back of my head begin to throb and I pulled my legs up, resting my chin on top of the kneecaps.

Was this it? Was I finally going to find out about what happened? The thought of finally understanding everything made my stomach drop to my feet and I stood up, checking my phone before I started pacing. It was getting dark while it was only about five at night. It was October and already the nights were getting longer.

A beam of light flashed in my eyes before a heard the deep purr of a car. I looked up in time to see a motorcycle whizzing by and I identified two figures immediately before it whizzed by toward the school and out of sight. Was that Natsume's motorcycle? It was hard to tell, especially in the dark, but I hadn't heard of anybody that drove a motorcycle here. Then again, I didn't really know many people in the first place…

But if it was Natsume… I wondered who was with him. It was obviously a girl, if the long hair was any indication and at the back of my mind, I wondered if he'd thrown her over the death contraption, too.

"Mikan."

I hadn't even noticed the car lights of Ruka's car when he stopped by the curb until Hotaru had called out my name. He came over to the side, opening her door and she didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact, simply walking over to stand before me.

"Mikan-san," Ruka said in greeting. I nodded to him and quickly turned my gaze back to Hotaru to look at her questionably.

"Hotaru… uh—"

She interrupted with a quick jerk of her hand and sat primly on the spot beside me. "Ruka already knows." Her eyes darkened slightly. "You wanted to talk about Akimoto," Hotaru deadpanned. "As you've probably heard, he's dangerous."

"Yeah," I said gruffly, "—and that's where the explanation ends. 'You'd better stay away from him, he's got a hidden agenda' and the ever popular 'stay away from Akimoto'. I mean, sure it's nice to know but why, why,_ why_."

"Tell me, first," Hotaru said after a pause, "Why are you so interested? I think you'll find it easier to know less."

"It's just like what you said this morning, Hotaru," I griped honestly, "—Ignorance isn't bliss, it's just temporary. Even if it was going to be easier for me _not _to know, how long do you honestly think I'll be hidden from the truth before it comes back to bite me?" I tapped my feet in an unsteady rhythm before continuing, "I think it'd be easier for me to find out now opposed to finding out later."

There was a moment's pause before a voice behind me said, "Touché."

I whipped around in surprise and saw Aoi's grim face, Natsume's not so far behind, and when I looked behind them even more closely, I could see the faint outline of the motorcycle.

_So it _was_ him…_

"You guys…" I murmured in surprise.

I tried to ignore Natsume's look of absolute fury and turned to see Aoi, close to tears. Her long hair was braided off to one side, leaving a long plait that hung over her left shoulder, her ruby eyes solemn and her skin, almost shimmering of porcelain.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Mikan-chan," she whispered desolately, rubbing her arms as if she was uncomfortable. "And I'm so sorry for being so mean this morning. I—I…it's hard to talk about. I'm still… learning…"

"You don't have to tell her," Natsume bit out sharply, stepping in front of his sister. He glared at me in the eyes and growled, "She doesn't have to tell you anything."

"I didn't say she had to," I shot back, annoyed with his interruption. "What's your _problem_? She can tell me whatever she wants to tell me and she doesn't have to have your permission to do it!"

His eyes sharpened dangerously and he stepped up closer, "I'm doing what I think is best for her," he bit out, "And I don't need you to approve of what I do. To be honest, my only problem is you and your inability to keep to yourself."

"I'm _nosy_ now?" I asked in a low, dangerous voice. "_This _is none of my business?" I laughed and it felt humorless even to my ears before I stepped up to him and snarled, "Then explain to me why I feel like this has something to do with me!"

He glowered intensely before he pulled me by the wrist and I yelped, looking at Hotaru uncertainly, "What the—what are you doing?!"

"Natsume, don't do anything rash," Ruka stepped in, grabbing Natsume's wrist and looking him in the eye. Natsume glared and after a moment's pause and a sigh, Ruka dropped his hand and Natsume pulled me away.

"When I _talk_ to you," he snarled, "I'd rather not have my sister hear me _cursing_."

"Do you think I'm _scared _of you?" I scoffed as he pushed me away from his sister, who was calling out for him to stop, "And stop pulling me! I'm more than capable of walking by myself!"

His hand dropped as if he'd been stung and he grimaced with disgust like he'd touched something revolting. It almost made me smile. "Listen, I _told _you already, just leave it alone. The more you pry, the more trouble it'll stir and that's the last thing my sister needs right now," he growled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I wouldn't have to pry if someone would just tell me the truth," I pointed out and I swallowed when his eyes flashed dangerously. I stopped abruptly and crossed my arms, "This is as far as I go."

He paused and seemed to be fighting something inside him before he rubbed a hand through his hair, "I'm asking you as a… as a _friend_, not to talk about this anymore," he said with difficulty. "The fact is, this _barely _has anything to do with you and I can stop things from losing control. I can stop _him._"

"And I suppose you're talking about Akimoto, right?" I kicked some leaves. "I mean, it's not that I don't trust you, Natsume. I've been staying away like you asked and he hasn't really been talking to me either but to be honest, it's kind of freaking me out…"

"What?" he asked startled, "Why?"

I shrugged, suddenly self conscious and crossed my arms, "I really… don't like not knowing things—" at this, Natsume scoffed and I fixed him with a steady glare before continuing, "It's not only curiosity but if he's as dangerous as you say he is, then… I dunno, I guess I want to know what he's capable of. I don't like not having choices, Natsume. And by not letting me know what exactly he's done to you guys, it feels like I'm not being allowed to make my own decisions. Especially when you're cornering me into a decision."

He groaned softly, which peaked my curiosity before he gritted out, "You're so—" he sighed loudly, "—never mind."

I let it go, oddly enough and stuffed both hands into my sweater, feeling Natsume's dark gaze on my back. Usually, it would've made me feel uncomfortable but thinking about his brotherly care for his sister and how he seemed to… _care_ about me too, made something in my stomach stir. And on the other hand, it made me want to laugh, too.

"You're not going to change your mind, are you?" he asked softly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I looked up, realizing with a blush that he'd moved much closer and that his eyes were literally _freezing_ me to my spot. At the back of my mind, I thanked God for the darkness of the night and the rest of my brain froze along with my legs when I caught his dark eyes.

They weren't red, or at least, not in the dark. They were deep maroon, almost black and without the aid of dim street lights nearby, I wouldn't have been able to recognize him. Instead of his usual sharp jaw and eyes, Natsume looked tired… exhausted, actually and I bit my lip, hating the way he was looking at me.

"You're tired," I felt the need to point out, stepping closer.

He stiffened, "I'm fine."

"No."

I saw his eyebrows furrow slightly, looking startled, "What? I'm fine."

"No, I mean I'm not going to change my mind," I said, looking closely at his face. If possible, he looked even more tired and his eyes darted away and back to my face before he sighed.

"You have to use your head, Polka Dots," he said resignedly, eyes looking intensely into mine. "You have to realize that once you know, you can't go back. This could… this will change _everything_. Don't you _get _that? You should just stay away while you have the chance. Just _think _for a second before you make up your mind. You're going to regret it."

"I won't," I cringed at my quick response. "I mean, I've made my decision and it's not going to change. I'd rather know… what's going on than be ignorant."

"You're going to _hate _it," he spat darkly, his voice bitter. "Look, whatever you're thinking, it's not all it's cracked up to be. This isn't some kind of book filled with rainbows and butterflies," he said firmly.

"I never said it was going to be and I never thought it _would _be," I answered, equally firm. "I'm taking my chance, Natsume. This is my choice and whether or not you like my decision, this is what I'm going with."

His jaw slackened and he growled something low under his breath, like a string of curses before he turned abruptly and headed back to the group. Hurrying to catch up, I caught his arm and swallowed when he flashed a furious glare, "I'm sorry, ok?" I clenched a fist. "I'm sorry this isn't what you want."

His eyes flashed or it could've been a trick of the shadows but I could've sworn his eyes softened before he pried my fingers off of his jacket. "This doesn't have anything to do with what I want," he replied stiffly, distracted, "This is about you making the biggest mistake of your life."

He held my eyes for a long moment before he broke away and headed back again. I stood there for a second before getting my bearings and following, unable to stop thinking that we _weren't _just talking about Aoi and Akimoto and that the feel of his hands _didn't _send a spark through my body.

* * *

I couldn't look at any of them in the eyes when I'd made it back to the group. The thoughts in my head were swirling at breakneck speed and my heart was beating at an unhealthy rhythm in my chest. For a second, I couldn't help but thank the heavens that darkness had fallen rapidly and it was impossible to see my conflicting emotions. No doubt they were displayed all over my face.

Or at least, from what my father used to tell me.

And since my thoughts were pretty much jumbled and ricocheting off every surface of my brain, I wasn't too pleased to hear Aoi's small suggestion, "How about we go to a café or something? I hate talking when I can't _see _anybody!"

"No," Natsume's gruff voice answered in a low, menacing voice, "My dorm. Who knows who'll be listening in some damn café."

There was a shuffle and I felt a hand grab my wrist, Hotaru's calm voice saying, "Come with me. Ruka will drive us over."

I was just stepping into the backseat of Ruka's car when my ears picked up the sound of Natsume's motorcycle engine being gunned and soon, a beam of light and the soft sound of rolling thunder passed us, heading in the direction of the dorms.

The silence in the car was short-lived when Ruka's sigh reverberated through the air, "So I guess the secret's out, huh?"

"It wouldn't need to be if she'd just accepted our word and left the matter alone," Hotaru returned coolly and my patience ran thin when she added, "Idiot."

"Can you not talk about me as if I'm not sitting behind you?" I muttered angrily, crossing my arms. "Why is it that I want to know _one _thing and everyone's biting my head off?!"

Ruka looked back briefly and I didn't catch the look on his face before he spoke, "We're not mad, Mikan-san. Really." He shot a warning look at Hotaru when she snorted. "It's just that the past really is just that, the past and some of us would rather it stayed that way. Akimoto… after what happened, he kept to himself and left us alone but since you came along…"

"Will we ever get past the '_what-Akimoto-did' _part?" I bit out, impatience marring my tone. My curiosity peaked when he'd said that Akimoto had started making his presence known to the Hyuugas again upon my arrival but I stored that at the back of my mind for future use.

Ruka flinched slightly, "I'm sorry. It's not my place to talk to you about it." His eyes met mine in the rearview mirror, "We're almost there."

We lapsed back into an awkward silence; the tension from Hotaru seemed to be leaking from her very pores. Surprisingly enough, once I'd gotten so close to knowing the truth, I didn't feel the least bit nervous, or anything really. Until, of course, Ruka parked, opening the door and going around the front to open up Hotaru's. My hand was on the verge of opening my own when Hotaru's voice stopped me.

"I wonder… when you find out," she looked back briefly, eyes dark and flashing, "… what will you do?"

Her voice lingered and I froze, eyes unable to break away from hers, wondering at the back of my mind what was taking Ruka so damn long to open her door. My throat constricted painfully before I managed, "Whatever my heart tells me to."

A second passed before I heard the click of the lock and Ruka's voice, "Did you _lock _me out, Hotaru?"

She got out of the car and I could've sworn she told him to shut up but I was too numb to listen carefully; because Natsume was standing stiffly beside his motorcycle with a blank expression on his face.

His face turned to meet mine before he jerked in the direction of the rooms, "Let's get this over with."

* * *

Aoi sent me a smile that I suppose was meant to break the ice. It would've worked if her brother hadn't managed to catch my attention and direct a stony, pointed glare in return. We all sat in a circle around the coffee table, Aoi and Natsume on one couch, Hotaru and Ruka on another. I was sitting on the ground directly in front of the table.

Seconds ticked by and Ruka cleared his throat, rubbing his neck uncomfortably, "I'm just – uh – going to get a glass of water. Anybody want?"

I nodded and he walked to the kitchen. The silence was driving me crazy.

"Soo…"

"For God's—" Hotaru slapped her hands to cup her knees before snapping, "If this is going to be said, we might as well get this over with as quickly as possible."

Natsume jerked his head in agreement and I muttered, "The Band-Aid response," under my breath. Aoi laughed weakly, looking down at overturned palms. She muttered something really quickly before lifting her head, lips strained.

"The beginning then," she started, looking right through me. "We'll start at the beginning when I was fourteen."

I straightened, propping my hands on the table and nodding for her to continue. With a deep inhale, she said, "At fourteen, I just graduated from middle school and like my other friends, I was excited for high school. The boys were supposed to be cool," she smiled bitterly. "We were so excited to get boyfriends! Middle school boys were so juvenile. They threw food, laughed when they farted, and pants-ed each other in Gym class. That _really _wasn't the kind of boys we wanted to be with."

She stopped fiddling with her hands and looked up with anxious eyes, "You know what I'm talking about, don't you Mikan?"

_No Mikan-sama, I noticed._

Forcing down the flush, I nodded, "I know."

She beamed briefly, "I wanted somebody romantic! The guy that would buy me lunch and kiss me when I was sad—" Natsume scowled darkly with fists, I noticed, white with anger. "—who'd open the doors for me, and call me those really cute names." She looked down at her hands, opening and closing her fists. "I wanted that _one _perfect guy that would stay with me forever; the one that _I'd _want to stay with. Forever, you know? Lots of girls my age dream about that and I was no different." She looked up with teary eyes and whispered, "That's where _he _came in."

I looked over at Hotaru, who was sitting ramrod straight on the couch, so out of place. She'd been looking at Aoi as she spoke but at my gaze, her eyes shifted and her eyebrows rose as if to say _'this is what you wanted, wasn't it? Happy now?'_

"You've _seen _him, Mikan! He was so _handsome_. If you could just picture me, at the age of fourteen, being so _stupid_, you would've seen his perfect windswept brown hair and bluish-green eyes that could stare right into my soul."

The back of my neck tingled and I looked over to find Natsume's gaze on me. Unforgiving red eyes gleamed from my seat on the ground and I swallowed thickly.

"To think, the first time I met him, I tripped on my face," she laughed nostalgically. "He pulled me up, towering over and once he fixed those eyes on me, I was swept. He handed me his handkerchief and said, 'Keep it. You'll never know. Maybe sometime soon, I'll be falling over for you, too.'"

"Bastard," Natsume snarled under his breath. Aoi laughed lightly, taking his hand and patting the back like a mother.

She continued as if she hadn't been interrupted, talking as if it'd become a lot easier. "I ran back to my friends and told them the whole story and they were so _jealous_, it actually made me feel kind of special. I kept that handkerchief for _weeks_ afterward, waiting for him to come back for it." She looked up and I broke my gaze away from Natsume's in order to see her fierce expression, "And he did.

"He walked over to where my friends and I sat for lunch and took a seat beside me, just leaning his chin on his hand and looking at me. My friends were so embarrassing! They actually started _giggling _and he just smiled and said something like '_Hey, do you want to go somewhere with me afterschool?' _And after that, I was hooked. On our first date, he brought me to **'The Heat', **you know that little coffee shop outside of Alice Academy?" She shook her head, continuing without an answer, "All of his friends were there. It was the 'cool' spot and suddenly, just like that (she snapped her fingers) I was in. And it felt _good. _Everything was going so great," she fiddled with Natsume's finger. "I should've known it was too good to be true."

She laughed ruefully, "I mean, is there actually a guy out there that will pay for _every _lunch? Buy his girlfriend something expensive every week? Open her door and catch her when she falls or carries her books to school for her?" Ruka flushed and Aoi immediately waved her hand, "Except Ruka-kun, of course. He's just _every _girl's dream man."

Ruka cleared his throat uncomfortably, noticing Natsume's darkening glare. I took a quick swig of water.

"That's what I mean, though!" she cried, throwing up her hands. "Hitosh—Akimoto _did_ that for me! He had every aspect of _perfect_ and he hit it to the Q. So I guess—I guess I was willing to do anything in order to keep him. I _did _do anything, anything he asked for actually."

She breathed out heavily, looking down at her hands once more, "And a little part of that _'anything'_ involved going to heavy high school parties and drinking with his friends." She shrugged one shoulder, letting it drop listlessly, "It wasn't too bad. I actually had fun. Nothing _too _fun!" she assured Natsume with a humorless grin. She sobered up and continued her fiddling, "It was at one of those parties where I saw something I shouldn't have.

"Well, dancing isn't too fun without your boyfriend, right? So I went looking around for him in his friends' rooms in the house, the one that was throwing the party. I remember thinking it was strange for him not to be in plain view. Akimoto, he's one of those guys that like to be in the spotlight. He hungers for it, craves for it." She shrugged again, "I understood."

"I found him talking to some older guy and to tell you the truth, I don't remember all of the details." She flushed a little bit, looking at her brother quickly before muttering, "I was kind of drunk." Natsume scowled once more and Aoi quickly continued, "But I wasn't stupid. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that Akimoto wasn't swapping money for drugs. And at the time, I didn't believe I was stupid enough to believe he wouldn't hurt me." She looked up, eyes hardened when she spat, "He was selling drugs to unsuspecting girls."

The glass in my hand shattered and Hotaru immediately stood, walking over to take the shards of glass away from my hands as Ruka scampered to the kitchen for towels or napkins. I was still a little too shocked to process the fact that pieces of glass were embedded in my hand and that the water dripping into the cuts were actually stinging.

I laughed, slightly embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable. I just couldn't _believe_ this was happening. Akimoto, a drug dealer? It almost seemed impossible. I heard of things like this happening but to somebody so _close_. Was I supposed to be one of his victims? Was his interest that very first day only because he thought I'd be a willing client? I shivered, "Well, it's a good thing he didn't try anything on you, huh?"

Hotaru's hand stilled and I looked up, alarmed, "He _didn't_ right?! You—you didn't… did you?"

"I did."

And my world promptly shattered.

* * *

Natsume had to shove me out of the dorm, insisting that a walk would do the both of us some good. I walked stiffly out the door as he held my arm, a handful of paper towels shoved into his pocket in case the ones I was holding with my bleeding hand got soaked.

"How can you act so _calm_ all the damn time?!" I hissed nastily, refusing to look at him. "How could—how can you just go on with everyday life without _strangling _him? How can you walk up to every fight and calmly ask him to stop when you know _damn _well that he got your sister—_your sister—_to do drugs!?"

A harsh laugh erupted from his throat, "You think I'm just lying back while my sister is going to a therapist because of that bastard?" he whispered roughly. "Don't think so less of me, Sakura. If there's one thing that I can agree with Imai about, it's finding a way out without getting your hands dirty."

We stopped by his motorcycle but I quickened my steps in order to stand against the wall of his dorm building. He followed soon after and we lapsed back into silence. My thoughts were going a mile a minute and I had a hard time pinning the easy-to-smile Akimoto to be a cold, hard dealer. The image just _didn't _fit.

"What are you doing?" I whispered harshly.

"What?"

I threw up my hands, turning to face him with a glare, "I asked what the hell you're doing?!" I lowered my voice into a whisper, "I'm helping."

"No," he replied immediately, "You're not going to be doing anything. You've done enough."

I stepped closer, clenching my fists, "I'm helping. How could you possibly think that I would just lay back and wait as you and Hotaru work for a way to get Akimoto to pay? He's probably going around right this minute, shoving his drugs on—" I clapped a hand over my mouth and choked, "Oh my _God._ Was he—oh God."

I whirled around, feeling tingles of anger shoot up my arms. Grabbing his jacket with one hand, I hissed, "This morning—those girls that looked so _sick_… were they…"

His eyes narrowed slightly and I could feel the warm spurts of his breath on my neck as he nodded almost imperceptibly.

"How on Earth could you just _walk away _from them when you _knew _damn well that they were doing drugs because of him? You—I…" I tore my gaze away from his ruby eyes and glared at the wall behind his head, "We could've stopped him. We could've prevented him from taking them to God knows where…"

He was quiet for a long moment and I chanced a look at him; my heart clenched at his heartbreaking expression. He blinked twice before covering up his moment of vulnerability, hissing, "Don't you think I _know _that?" his voice was like a slap in the face. "Don't you think I know that the longer he's out there, the more people are getting high off of his lies? Don't you think I know that I could've done a lot of things to save my own _sister_ from that bastard?" He cursed fluently under his breath and I caught the fierce look in his eyes before he said softly, "I _know_. I get told enough and you'd think that they'd know…" He paused, rephrasing, "I'm working on it, alright? We can't pin anything on him until we get some valid evidence and since my sister and my _parents _for that matter, don't want us to do a _damn_ thing, I've got to make sure we can get something on him without giving any indication that Aoi has done anything. That's why it's taking so long but I'm _trying. _God knows I'm trying to fix this."

My stomach flopped and I couldn't help but blink, "We?"

He stiffened and promptly scowled, "Look… it's best if you just stayed out of it. I wouldn't even have Imai help if she wasn't so damn—" he broke off with an awkward shrug. "This is my sister. This is my family. Why do you care so much?"

I froze, biting my lip. "I don't know." With a shrug and a moment's hesitation, I breathed deeply, "I don't know what's _happening_ anymore."

I was startled by the humorless, bitter laugh that suddenly escaped him, "I told you, didn't I? I told you to use your head and _think _before you chose to throw yourself in this. You don't have to help and you don't have to stay with us. You can still get out of here as long as you keep your mouth shut." He paused momentarily, looking quickly from my eyes and back to a spot behind me before drawling blandly, "Maybe this choice will be one that you won't regret."

I stopped, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn't even _look _at him. How could he let that happen? How could he just walk away from those girls when he knew damn well that they were doing drugs under Akimoto's persuasion?

And then it made me sick because I knew it wasn't his fault. They were the ones that willingly went with Akimoto. It was Aoi's decision to do drugs for Akimoto's affections. This was none of Natsume's fault but why couldn't I—why couldn't I find the urge to forgive him?

"You're crying."

Instinctively, my hand rose to touch my cheek and I was surprised to feel them slick with tears. Hastily, I wiped them off as best I could, "Stupid allergies."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

He shifted slightly, reluctant, "Why are you doing this? Why are you so—" He looked at me with an unreadable expression before he asked softly, "Why do you _care_?"

I clenched my hands into fists and hissed when my nails dug through the blood-soaked paper towels and into my cuts. Immediately, he was holding on my wrist, peeling back the bloodied layer and handing over some clean ones from his pockets. I grabbed them, folding it to tie sloppily around my palm and it was with a sigh that Natsume threw the used napkins in the garbage, grabbed my hand and tied it for me.

I didn't notice until then that I was shaking like a leaf on a windy day. I couldn't even sputter out a thanks without fear it'd become a jumbled mess of words so instead, I nodded lightly, looking up at him.

He looked the same. His face was all hard planes. He had thin lips, and dark, defined eyebrows and a ring of eyelashes that surrounded his eyes. The same handsome boy, but somehow, I could see him differently.

I could see the constant stress in his eyebrows. His insistent displeasure was marked by the hard shape of his jaw. Every feature on his face showed something else that bothered him. His eyes were the worst. They flashed with guilt. How he wished he could've protected his sister better and how everything that seemed to go wrong was his fault.

_He's almost sixteen… just a child_, my brain reminded.

And it bothered me that at the moment, he looked far older than he was supposed to be.

Natsume muttered something really fast and I blinked, realizing I'd been staring him in the eyes for a while. And I didn't know what came over me. One second I was looking at him, wondering what exactly was behind the mystery that was Natsume Hyuuga, and the next minute, I'd leaned in to kiss him.

There was fire running through my veins. I didn't know what I was expecting to be perfectly honest but the explosion of sensations was _not _it. His lips were surprisingly soft and dry, not like my first kiss that felt as if I was kissing a dog. They were pliant and willing and I shivered, pretty sure I wasn't imagining the fuel of electricity that shot from my lips to my toes.

Did he feel that too or was that just me? I didn't have time to think about it because my heart felt like it was crawling up my throat and _God_, why were there so many _explosions_ going on?

Soft, soft. I could have cared less that my hand was tingling madly as I reached to clutch the flap of his jacket. I could care less that I was shaking or that there were so many emotions coursing through my veins that made it hard for me to breathe.

Colors. Colors from bright greens to shattering reds were flashing behind my closed eyes and it took all I could not to just—just…

His lips, slow, moved against mine and I was surprised I didn't notice that he wasn't responding to me the entire time. Now—now that I could _feel _his lips gently stroking mine, all of the colors I saw before flashed again and became more vivid than the last. I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine like a spasm. His warm breath fanned the length of my neck, the soft flutter of his eyelashes brushed my cheeks and I didn't even bother to wince when I let out a pathetic sigh and my heart fluttered along with it.

He paused for a fraction of a second and I almost wanted to cry because I didn't know what I was _feeling._ It was like everything was happening at once and I couldn't even _think. _My head span like it was nobody's business and the hand he put on my neck scorched my skin until all I could feel was that _one _hand and the way he was tilting his head to kiss me made my stomach drop to my feet.

Gentle, so gentle. Everything was so damn _soft_ and…

I had to breathe.

Badly.

I lifted my lips away from his and only then did I notice that his other hand was lightly grazing my back.

Wow… my second kiss… _wow._

_Kiss_.

My eyes flew open in shock and I glimpsed his small frown as his eyelashes fluttered open. His expression of confusion made my heart beat rapidly in my chest and… Oh God, I practically _jumped _him.

"I—Oh God, did we actually… oh no, I can't believe…"

I looked around frantically and I could hear the blood in my ears pounding, making my vision hazy and my coordination worse. I stepped away from him, ripping my hand away from his jacket and breaking away from his hands, ignoring the look of utter confusion on his face. I couldn't stop thinking about the reason my lips were _tingling_.

"What are you doin—"

I looked up and caught the gaze of his intense ruby eyes before my face flushed and I sputtered, "I'm sorry."

And then, I ran because it seemed like the only thing I _could_ do.

* * *

**A/N:** _This is my longest chapter yet and I would've split it in half but then you wouldn't have been able to know what Akimoto did and I think somebody would've felt the need to kill me. _Thanks for all of your words of encouragement_, you guys! And the voting period (I just found out the other day) at Corvus corone's GARC Awards has just started so vote for your faves!_

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	16. Kill the Messenger

**Disclaimer:** MHR does not own Gakuen Alice.  
**Dedicated to:** sora skyller, WindigoUnseen, windlady, pockybandits89, aznprincessx65, helplessly lovestruck, crimsoneyes44 (XD), Crimson Memories, Alexxis T. Swan, Stardrop55, **fanficgirl8** and xOJewelzOx who gave me wonderful (LONG) critiques, yelled at me to whip my butt into shape, gave me wonderful suggestions, PMed me the sweetest messages of encouragement or helped me through my tough time. Thank you so much, guys. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me.

Also, _**Happy birthday, Janet**__ (christened IndigoGrapefruit)._ Here you are, as promised. :)

Please enjoy.

* * *

_I'm gonna send a little rain to pour down on you_

_Rain that makes the flowers bloom_

_Rain to leave you all alone_

_That keeps eyelashes falling_

_And wishes washed away_

_Kill the messenger  
_

_I swear it's not me__…_

_"Kill the Messenger__" - **Jack's Mannequin  
**_

**  
Chapter Sixteen: Kill the Messenger**

What was I_ thinking_?!

I kissed him—_kissed_ him! And to be perfectly honest, what made matters worse was I practically _jumped_ on him. Instantly, a shiver ran down the entire length of my back and I couldn't help the shudder that wracked my whole body from the tips of my hair to the nails of my toes. What would he think of me now? I was a freak lunatic! I told him time and time again how pathetic it was for his fangirls to constantly throw themselves at him with no sense of self preservation and look what I've resorted to! That _one _display of stupidity would brand me as a hypocrite forever.

I could feel my arms still heating up, my heart still pounding, my ears still ringing and my lips still tingling. Almost as if it was reflexive, my hand went up to brush lightly against my bottom lip and it took me a moment to realize my fingers were shaking. I could hear my own ragged breathing echoing from the deserted corridors and the sound made another convulsion of shivers hit my spine full throttle.

Why, why, _why_ did I kiss him for?!

There was nothing, _nothing _the least bit romantic happening for me to have the urge to kiss him. He wasn't looking at me with tender eyes. He hadn't been leaning in to kiss me. He hadn't made a romantic, soul-crumbling declaration of love to me and nor did he do anything the least bit sweet to show any indication that he thought of me as something more than a friend. _This _was where things didn't add up. Everything was serious. We were talking about a drug dealer for God's sake! I just… I don't understand what possessed me to kiss him.

_You like him._

My eyes snapped open and the thought was enough to make me stumble to my knees. I blinked blindly, only slightly accustomed to the darkness and sucked in a tight, uneven breath of surprise. Where the hell did that come from? _You like him_. Another shiver shook my body and I stared at my hands accusingly, as if I could blame all of my actions before this point on the two innocent appendages.

Did I like him?

…

…

…

The answer came almost immediately.

_Of course._

That didn't necessarily mean I _liked _him though, did it? It just meant I didn't hate him.

"You don't kiss every person you don't hate," I murmured softly, bracing my arms against the wall and lifting myself from the ground. My mind was swirling with startling thoughts and revelations, which didn't help the way my temples had been throbbing earlier. Was life supposed to be this complicated? Akimoto was a drug dealer. Aoi went to a therapist everyday after school because she used to _use_. Natsume was…well, Natsume was just being way too different from the Natsume I'd always imagined he was. Koko was in love with Sumire and Sumire was in love with _Natsume_, the guy I just kissed and—urgh! I couldn't wrap my mind around the staggering thoughts.

And once again, like it had been doing for the last few minutes, my thoughts returned to the one question that plagued me the most. _Why did I kiss him?_

I let out a slow, shallow breath and started slowly down the hall of my dorm building. My fingers were making a trail against the cold walls and my eyes trained wearily into the darkness. The path to my room seemed different in the dark and briefly, I wondered why the lights weren't on. Patting the pockets of my jeans, I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the prominent, rectangular shape within the pocket. Almost immediately, it vibrated.

Fumbling for the phone, I quickly flipped it open and responded, "Hello?"

"_Where are you?" _came Hotaru's harsh reply. _"Why didn't you come back with Natsume? He came in a second ago and went straight into his room." _She paused for a fraction of a second before asking sharply, "_What happened?"_

I rubbed my face with one hand and sighed, eyes searching the passing doors for the number of my room. The rest of my brain focused on the fact that I _just _kissed Natsume fives minutes ago and here was Hotaru, already asking me to relive it. A girl really couldn't get a break around here.

"Why do you assume something happened?" I returned instead, leaning against the closest wall. "I was tired, so I went home."

"_Liar," _she replied offhandedly with an all-knowing tone. _"I know him better than he knows himself and I've never seen him looking the way he did a moment ago."_

My interest peaked and I straightened almost immediately, tearing the phone away from my ear to look at it suspiciously. He looked different? Was that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? Oh God, he probably went to throw up in his bathroom. I groaned internally. Why did my first _good _kiss have to be with a guy that has probably had _way _more expericence than I'd like and who probably thought I was as bad as my _actual _first kiss? Better yet, why did my first good kiss have to be with Natsume period?

Okay, so I'd been wrong about him at the beginning but any sane person with half a brain would've thought he was an arrogant, pig-headed, son-of-a-fart who never took anyone seriously and thought he was better than everyone else. Half of that statement is probably true. His arrogance is almost astounding at times and he really doesn't take anybody seriously unless you're one of his good friends (which, aha, I'm not). But then again, he wasn't all that bad. If one looked over his arrogance and his overall cold-ass being, one would be surprised to discover he was strangely modest, unnaturally observant and disgustingly faithful and helpful. He couldn't just be known as a genius in the school, the soccer captain of the senior's team and the best freestyle swimmer this school has ever seen, either. He also had to be known for being one of the most handsome boys in our grade, probably the whole school now that I thought about it.

Damn.

_"Mikan?"_

I snapped out of my thoughts and quickly put the phone back to my ear, muttering an apology before asking, "Why? What was so different about him?"

There was a pause at the other end of the line before she murmured, _"He looked like somebody died."_

Instantly, I felt my stomach drop to my feet. He looked like somebody just _died_? I could barely suppress my groan of disappointment. I kissed him and he goes around looking like somebody died—how is that in the least bit flattering? I didn't think it was _that _bad. Then again, the girl who'd only had one other kiss previously was talking, not the guy that probably had girls lining up for his kisses. Still, it couldn't possibly have been so bad for him to look like somebody _died_, could it?

_So what if you liked it? Granted, you were the one that jumped him…_

"_Excuse me?"_ I could practically hear the frown in her voice. _"You growled at me," _was her incredulous murmur of surprise.

Startled, I blinked curiously at my cell, "What, no! …Did I?"

"_Yes, you did. Now where are you? You'd think even somebody stupid like you would've learned that going out so late at night alone is dangerous after what happened just a few weeks ago to Aoi," _Hotaru reprimanded sharply.

I laughed, feeling warmer. It probably had something to do with the fact that she sounded so protective of me but I found it difficult to keep the grin off my face. "Don't worry about it, Hotaru. I'm almost at our dorm room right now. I'll see you in a bit when you get home."

"_Keep talking until you get to the door. I'm not stupid enough to hang up with you still roaming like a blind bat in a building you probably haven't memorized,"_ she returned dryly, a hint of annoyance marring her tone. _"Keep talking."_

I rolled my eyes, "Aren't you being just a little paranoid, Hotaru?" Still, I pushed myself off of the wall and continued my way to my room. She was right, talking to her while making the journey _did _make me feel safer.

"_There isn't anything paranoid about it," _her voice was bland. _"It's smart. But I suppose you wouldn't be familiar with the word. Besides, Ruka can just imagine you doing something incredibly stupid in the span of seven seconds."_ Vaguely, from Hotaru's end of the line, I could hear a small murmur of "_leave me out of it, Hotaru". _I shook my head and fished out the keycard from my pocket before smirking into the phone.

"Well, I'm at the door Hotaru, so you can rest assured, I've made it. We'll talk about the fact you called me stupid just now when you come back." She grunted a vague response before hanging up and I exhaled loudly before sticking the card into the slot. Before I even fully opened the door, I could hear Sumire's voice and was immediately assaulted by my earlier thoughts.

_Sumire was infatuated with Natsume…and I had just kissed him. _What kind of friend was I? Keeping the Hyuuga dinner from her was one thing. Kissing the guy she liked? That was a whole other category altogether. The feeling of unease in my stomach instantly got weightier and I felt large ball lodge itself in my throat. What was I going to do now?

"Face it. I'm not the girl you think I am, Yome," Sumire bit out sharply. "Get over it!"

Koko's rueful chuckle followed after. Instantly on the defensive, I pulled myself into the room and slid the latch of the door quietly into place before lurking through the living room and peering around the corner into the hallway. Koko was sitting, leaning against Sumire's door with a dark scowl on his face. He seemed so intent on his discussion that he didn't even see my head around the corner. Instead, he settled to respond to Sumire with a loud scoff, "Obviously! The girl I knew years ago wasn't as stuck-up as you are now!"

"I've _always_ been like this!" was her immediate response. "You've just been too blind to see it!"

"I've been blind?" he chuckled humorlessly. "We might have been only eight years old but I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine the fact that you were the only one that bothered with my attitude when we were younger."

There was a heavy, minute pause before something hefty thumped against the ground and Sumire growled, "I have _no _idea what you're talking about."

I watched as he looked at the door incredulously before throwing up his hands. I could even imagine him rolling his eyes before he persisted, "Ever the actor, huh, Sumire? I don't know _when _you started acting like a wounded drama queen but could you just drop the act? It's you and me. I _know_ you. You can stop pretending now."

There was a muffled groan and a moment of silence before Sumire's voice drifted through the door crack harshly, "Stop pretending that you know anything about me, Koko. So we knew each other when we were little, so what? People change. It's the way of life. We grow up and go our separate ways. This isn't some kind of fairytale where we are little sweethearts at birth and grow apart only to find solace in each other as teenagers or adults. We're not eve—"

"Do you even know what you're saying?!" Koko interrupted sharply. "You're making it sound like I'm in love with you or something. Is it wrong for me to want to be friends with a girl that I've known for eight years?"

"Yes, it's wrong! Especially when I see you for the first time in several years and how do you react? You threw a slab of _pineapple_ at me, if you don't recall! You threw it at me in front of all of those people! In front of _him._"

I picked up the light groan that made its way out of his lips before he muttered darkly, "It was a _joke_, Sumire. I didn't even hit you in the face! I got you on the arm and if you don't remember, you threw something _way_ worse than a slice of pineapple at me when we first met."

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

Another incredulous silence passed on Koko's part before he broke the silence. "You threw a ratty rubber boot filled with water in my face," he deadpanned, crossing his legs. "And do you remember _why_ you threw that at me?"

She made a noise that sounded like a grunt before Koko ran a hand through his hair with a small smile on his face. "You wouldn't smile," her small voice replied. "You didn't play and you didn't want to talk to me." She paused, her silence thoughtful. "You were so stupid when we were little."

Thoughtfully, he glanced up at the ceiling. "I knew you'd remember," he returned smugly, leaning against the palms that lay flat against the ground. His eyes trailed from the ceiling to the wall across from him before a lazy grin spread across his face and I couldn't help the slow smile that made its way onto mine. "Besides that, you always ran around the whole building looking for me so that you could drag me off to some new, secret hangout…"

"Why are you bringing this up?" Sumire's voice grated irritably, interrupting his reminiscent words. "If you want to be friends, then fine, we'll be friends. I don't see what the past has to do with anything right now." There was a muffled thump and similar, lighter sounds on the floor before the doorknob jiggled and Sumire's mussed head of black hair emerged. "We're friends, but that's it Koko."

I could practically _hear _the frown in his voice when he muttered, "You sound like you're only agreeing to be friends to make me go away."

I thought she'd toss him a bone and deny the accusation. I thought his words would've affected her in some way. Apparently I thought wrong. Especially when she returned coolly, "There's definitely that." She placed a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side, gesturing for him to get to his feet and with a grunt of mock fatigue, he wobbled into her figure with a laugh. Sumire shrieked and slapped him in the arm in retaliation before the both of them started moving.

…

_Fantasic_.

Flattening myself against the wall, I looked around the living room to find a safe spot to hide, listening to their footsteps in the meantime. The back of my eyes ached and my temples were throbbing, barely processing anything the two of them had said. The added stress of getting caught was quickly weighing down on my shoulders.

"—onest, I still don't understand why you dyed your hair… what's the point?" Koko's voice drifted closer.

Vaguely, I heard Sumire's reply, "It doesn't have anything to do with you, Koko. Just drop the damn subject," before my eyes alighted on the couch. Making little to no sound (or at least, attempting not to), I sprinted over to the couch, shifted it a little further from the wall and sucked in a breath in order to squeeze myself into the crack.

I was infinitely aware of the dust swirling in the air, the cobweb in the corner and how utterly claustrophobic I was feeling. As if on cue, I felt my throat constricting in fear. I honestly hoped I wouldn't start hyperventilating before they left…

"You didn't do it for Natsume, did you?" Koko prompted with an edge of irritation. "It's not that you don't look good with black hair," he assured her. "I'm just saying that dying your hair so drastically to impress some guy is stupid, even for you."

Sumire's muffled retort was briefly cut off by the scrape of wood against wood but I managed to glean, "—hink I'd dye my hair for some _guy_? What do you take me for, some insane plebian?!" Koko sputtered but Sumire interrupted him abruptly, "And don't think I didn't catch you calling me stupid either."

"You're being defensive again," Koko remarked easily, a hint of irritation barely concealed under his good-natured teasing.

Abruptly, the door was jarred open and a silence fell upon the group before Hotaru's voice rang clear, "Get out, Yome."

"Aw, don't be that way Hotaru! How long have you known me for?" Koko complained accompanied by the sound of pattering feet and the rustle of clothes. "Oh, oh. The Imai death-glare," Koko teased, his voice displaying his obvious amusement. "What am I going to do with myself? Oh—whoa! Okay, okay! I know when I'm not wanted…" Sumire snorted a laugh and as if relishing her amusement, he added, "Feel free to object, Hotaru… I know you want me." Pause. "No? Oh shi—OW!"

"Yome? Yeah, get out," Hotaru sneered callously. Koko grumbled, there was a shuffle of feet, Sumire sighed and Hotaru griped, "Where is that idiot? She came back about a half hour ago."

A dark pause later and Sumire's eerily calm voice murmured, "A half hour ago, huh…?"

_Damn._

My nose twitched and I could tell I had about a second before I let loose one of those incredibly loud sneezes.

_Double damn._

* * *

The first thing I realized when I stepped out of Sumire's car was the number of people milling around the foreign school. Finding a parking spot was already bad enough, as far as I could tell from the amount of traffic coming into the school and the honk of a car's horn every five seconds, but the masses of people in groups and the insanely long line moving into the gym was like thick molasses.

We weren't going to get _anywhere _near the bleachers at this rate.

"Why are we here again?" I muttered darkly, my eyes moving away from the crowd to settle on Sumire's tall form.

She stepped out of the car, tapped the roof of the car twice and watched as it sped away before adjusting her sunglasses on her head of black hair. Raising a brow, green eyes annoyed, Sumire sighed, "We're watching the swimming tournament. It's Natsume's first of the season." She linked her arm through mine and dragged me forward, "Besides, don't you already know that? I thought you guys were friends with the amount of time you spend together."

I shuffled, struggling to keep up with her long strides. Dread pooled within my stomach and the _very _early breakfast Sumire had practically forced down my throat felt like it wanted to make another appearance. She was bringing me to a swimming event, Natsume's swimming event to be precise. Oh the cruelties of life, how thy mock me! What would I do if he happened to see me?!

"Well actually…" I started cautiously, glancing at her face, "We're friends but we're not _great _friends. I don't think he'll be very glad to see me."

She snorted, "Oh, stop. Though I hate to say it, he likes you more than he likes me at the moment, even if it's just as a friend. And according to my sources, Natsume doesn't like a lot of people except Koko, Imai, Ruka-kun and Kitsu. If he's taken a slight friend-liking to you, then you should be flattered. _I know I'd be…" _she muttered the last bit under her breath.

After Sumire had finished yelling at me for eavesdropping on Koko and her conversation the night before, Hotaru crossed her arms, looked at Sumire and with her one word command, "Spill," had Sumire talking.

She obviously didn't want to and the edge of annoyance in her voice was prominent but I appreciated the effort nonetheless.

"Look, I have issues, okay?" she griped with a start, looking anywhere but in our eyes. "I don't like having to trust anybody, least of all the people that seem to be my friends one moment and act differently in the next. And I know that it was stupid and irrational of me to want to know where you were and why you didn't tell me about that dinner but to be honest, I don't even care anymore."

At this point, she turned slowly, hands clasped in her lap and eyes slowly lifting before meeting mine and said, "I'll tell you point blank that yes, I still like Natsume. Yes, so far it's because he's handsome and cool but I'm not _that _shallow. I can see something beyond that exterior and the mystery is what's keeping me interested." She shrugged, unashamed, "I haven't given up on him and I can tell you like him, too."

I opened my mouth to protest before she rolled her eyes, cutting off anything I'd been about to say with a sharp, "Oh, don't give me that. It's written all over your face, especially in your eyes. Whatever, I don't really care. He doesn't want to give anybody a chance and I can see that." She stretched her arms above her head and proceeded to look at her nails critically, "It sucks but I think that as long as nobody's succeeded in making a move on him, I still have a chance."

The kiss flashed before my eyes and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "What about Koko?"

She raised a brow. "What about him?" Sumire ran a hand through her thick black locks before leaning back on the table, her palms flat on the surface. "Well, it's not like you don't have an idea of what happened, since you overheard lots of it."

I ducked my head, flushing with embarrassment before she waved away the sentiment. "Koko and I have known each other since we were eight. My mom works for his parents under the beauty and makeup branch of their empire and is the second-in-command next to some snot-faced bimbo in that department." She got up and shoved my legs over the edge before jumping onto the couch, laying her head on the armrest and propping her feet into my lap.

"When my mom was hired by them, I would get driven to their company building after school and have to hang out in that stuffy little room reserved for those kids that had working parents." She winced noticeably before griping, "Let's just say I was the oldest kid there. Koko was always somewhere in the building and I knew at once that he'd be some fun the first time I saw him, so I got him to go outside to the pond out back to play."

She smiled suddenly, dazzlingly bright, before smirking, "That's when I threw the boot at him. He was seriously different the first time we met. He was always frowning and cold and looking down on the other kids." She rolled her eyes, "Talk about needing a life, right? But he was the only one my age and the other kids always drooled or whined so he was better than nothing. Plus, as time passed, he loosened up." She shrugged once again, green eyes looking into mine but her gaze seemingly far away before continuing, "Sometimes I don't know what he would've done without me."

A moment passed before she grinned, throwing her legs over the edge and standing up, stretching like a cat. "Anyway, my mom worked, I'd hang out with him and we became almost like best friends." She started ticking off her fingers, "I was put into this all Catholic girls private school and my mom started transferring to Europe and Australia to start up the beauty branches for the Yome's. I never had to stay in the company building for more than ten minutes after that. I got a best friend and a boyfriend and—" she shrugged, "—I just didn't have much time for him after that. Sure, he's cute and all, but Koko… we can't be compared to one another. We're too different, have nothing in common," she sighed airily, bored of the subject of conversation, "-the works."

"Opposites attract," Hotaru's soft voice piped in, dark purple eyes already analyzing. "I think Nogi and I are a testament to that."

"And who knows, Sumire," I said tersely, rooting her to the spot with one of my sternest glares. "You and Koko could have far more in common than you think. You just have to give him a chance to prove himself."

Sumire yawned, eyes bored. "Yeah, well… after a few years a part, we'll see how things go. Koko and I are starting off as friends. Nothing more and nothing less," she murmured sleepily. She raised a tired brow in a challenge before a yawn broke across her face. "It's late and we've got somewhere to go tomorrow so I'm going to get some much needed beauty sleep." She turned around, waving behind her, "Good night, ladies."

"Good night, Sumire," I returned, eyeing her retreating form.

She stopped suddenly and half-turned her body, "Mikan?"

"Yeah?"

"Just for the record, I'm sorry for being pissy before." And without waiting for my response, she'd bustled into her room and locked the door.

So now here we are, on the brink of being past acquaintances and closer to being good friends. Or at least, that's what I was hoping. It was really hard to tell with Sumire but the night before, she actually sounded genuinely sorry for accusing me for everything. Plus, she'd taken the time to describe some bits of her past… maybe there was hope for our budding friendship, yet.

"Well, I think we could hardly call each other friends, Sumire," I said dryly, weaving in between the people in their groups toward the swimming gym. "Natsume and I have come to some kind of… understanding, you could say. We've learned to tolerate each other."

"Uh huh," Sumire replied skeptically, "You're friends and you like it. Don't even lie to me. Why are you so nervous anyway? In about half an hour, we're going to be seeing Natsume and the swim team with nothing but swimming trunks on." A wolfish grin coursed across her lips before she sunk her incisors into her bottom lip and giggled, "I'm excited!"

And she was. She was so excited, in fact, that she'd dressed in her beach apparel, a two piece bikini underneath her spring yellow halter top and a pair of bleach white shorts. On her feet was a thick pair of wedges that made her legs go on forever and standing next to her in my jeans and t-shirt made me feel like a sad imitation. Oh well, it was mid-October and while she pretended not to shiver every once and a while, I was warm. Plus, I knew the zip-up sweater I'd thrown into my messenger bag would be put to good use, if her shivering was anything to go by. Shaking my head, I looked at the arm that was tucked snugly into hers and thought of how far we'd come. She'd gone to tolerating me, to thanking me, to joking with me, to sticking up for me, to accusing me, to hating me and finally, here we were, forgiving and growing. It was enough to make a small smile alight on my face.

"Excuse me, we have reserved seats," Sumire's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"You have reserved seats," a voice stated in a condescending way. "Now how'd you manage that?"

I blinked, turning to face Luna and her three friends, standing with their done up dos and their runway ready outfits. They were actually wearing the same clothes as Sumire, if not more revealing and all of them had their trademark bleach white smiles on their faces.

_Pretty_, I mused. Even I could admit that they were exceptionally pretty.

"So it's Sakura and Shouda," Luna leered, resting a hand on her curvy waist.

"It's a free world, Koizumi," Sumire rolled her eyes, letting my arm drop and folding hers over her chest defensively. "We have as much right to be here as you do."

Hinako laughed, hefting her purse higher on her shoulder. "What I find surprising is why you'd show up here when you know fair and well that we'd be here."

"How is that surprising?" I asked curiously, quirking an eyebrow at her. "You don't think we're scared of you, do you?"

There was a minute pause before Éclair broke in, "I don't think you've fully realized who you're messing with, Sakura. You may have managed to get rid of the rumors because of their loose mouths," Éclair snarled, pointing at Hinako and Kanako, "—but that was just the beginning."

"And you, Shouda," Luna drawled lazily, flicking a wave of blonde over her shoulder. "I've submitted a complaint to the head of the English department about your performance as Beauty." Her smile became razor sharp when she trailed off dismissively, "The people on the board are _very _good friends of my parents and well…" She blinked wide, clear blue eyes, "I wouldn't be surprised to see your role being mine by Wednesday morning."

I saw red.

"Is that all you're good at?" I whispered in a low voice. "Is that the way you spend all of your free time? Trying to make everybody miserable?"

Luna snorted offhandedly, "I'm docile when things go my way and with the way you and Shouda have been milling around, there will be hell to pay while I'm here." Her blue eyes swept across my face critically before sneering, "Things were _perfect_ before the two of you came. The food chain was being maintained and everything was the way it was supposed to be. This," she gestured to the area between us, "—is me trying to right the balance back to its former perfection. There's _nothing _wrong with that."

"Nice speech," I said dryly, blowing brown bangs away from my face. "But if you call spreading false rumors about me, using your status to take a girl's role that you couldn't fill if you tried and putting down every female within a fifty meter radius because you aren't happy with yourself _right_, then yes—there _is_ something wrong with that."

"If you'll excuse us," Sumire replied sharply, looking at me with vibrant green eyes, "—our seats are waiting inside."

We didn't make it five steps before Luna's dark reply met our ears, "If you think you can become the heroine and change things, you've severely underestimated me."

I rolled my eyes, "And if you think you can rattle us with that threat, you've severely underestimated _us_." I met Sumire's eyes once more and we weaved our way through the crowd, the voices of the dozens of students there rang in my ears and it took me a second to realize that while we'd had our confrontation with Luna, the world had kept going without us… It was funny. With Luna, it felt like time stopped to accommodate her; her confidence was that strong.

"She has nerve," Sumire growled darkly, wincing, "I hope Koko still saved our seats. My feet are killing me."

"Did I hear my name being called?" Koko's boisterous voice split the air. He was standing by the back doors with a wide grin on his face. His messy, dirty blonde hair was barely maintained and the smell of chlorine was roiling off of his body in waves when we'd managed to make it to his side.

"Hey Doc," he nudged a tall blonde boy with glasses, helping to man the entrance, "—these girls are with me."

"Of course, K-Koko-san," he stuttered, looking up to hand us a pair of blue paper bracelets. "Enjoy yourselves and remember to put any garbage in the garbage cans sitting by the ends of the bleachers, please Shouda-san, Sakura-san."

I blinked, "You know who we are?"

He flushed a deep red and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I… um—I'm in your History class, Sakura-san. Yuu Tobita, sophomore class president."

"Really?" I grinned, offering him my hand to shake. "Then it's a pleasure meeting you, Iincho!" He sputtered something incoherent and I managed another wide grin at his slightly disbelieving gaze. "I guess I'll see you Wednesday in class!"

He nodded imperceptibly before helping the person behind us and we made our way into the gym, the smell of chlorine instantly making its way into my noise. The initial sting faded and my eyes swept across the bleachers, onto the glimmering surface of the water before settling on the swimmers doing their stretches by the far edge of the pool.

"I got you guys some pretty good seats at our group's bleachers," Koko chirped easily, ruffling up the back of his hair. "One of you has to pretend to be my girlfriend though but I think that's a small price to pay for the view you're getting. You'll be able to see _everything_."

"That can be Sumire's job. She's a far better actor than I am," I smirked, dodging her death glare and winking at Koko's wide grin. "Where are the seats, mon capitain?"

A whistle was blown and Koko swore darkly, eyes darting around the gym before he unconsciously took Sumire's hands and shook them, "Okay, I have to get going or coach is going to kill me. Ask Mochu or someone from our school and you'll be able to find your seats. And um… yeah, I have to go."

He dropped her hands, waving a hand in the air as a goodbye before darting across the floor to the other side where Alice Academy's swim team, wearing their varsity jackets and all, were converged in a circle. I located the signature head of black hair and pale skin before I heard Sumire uttering a low oath, muttering, "C'mon. Let's go find our seats," and by the time my legs started their way after her, I looked up to find Natsume's head looking up in my direction.

…

I stumbled.

I looked up at a snicker and into bored teal eyes and grey hair. Momentarily stunned at the achingly adorable face of a small boy, I only managed to blink back to reality when a sarcastic comment from above stated, "Don't look at her, Youichi," I recognized Kitsuneme's voice. "She'll eat you."

The vibrant sea foam green eyes turned to look blandly at the boy beside him and in an adorable, childish voice, he said blandly, "I'm eight, not stupid."

Kitsuneme extended a hand down at me before replying, "Liar, you're seven."

"Seven and three quarters," the boy named Youichi corrected blandly, turning his head to look around. "Where's the hag?" He looked down again, as if just remembering I was on the floor before saying, "Well, the prettier one."

I scowled and took Kitsuneme's hand, dragging myself to my feet. "And hello to you too, little boy. Aren't you the regular, lady charmer," I grumbled, relishing the fact that I towered the kid by at least seven inches.

"I'm not a little boy," he drawled, matter-of-fact. "I'm Youichi Ibaragi, almost eight years old."

I raised a brow over his head and looked at Kitsuneme with a curious grin on my face. _Nobara's little brother? _I mouthed. Kitsuneme nodded with a grin of his own and shrugged. "The kid is Natsume's number one fan and insisted on coming to his first swimming game."

"I'm not his number one fan," Youichi said darkly, "I'm Natsume-senpai's apprentice."

"Natsume-senpai?" I snickered and couldn't help but pat him on the head. "You are way too cute for your own good, Youichi Ibaragi."

He grimaced and walked away, looking into the bleachers, muttering something like, "Hag," under his breath.

Kitsuneme chuckled. "Don't mind the kid, he's taken after Natsume with that attitude of his."

I shrugged, looking after the short little boy with his navy blue shorts and black jacket with a messy tie thrown around his neck. "I don't know… I don't really mind the kid. He'll be a heartbreaker when he grows up."

"Just like his senpai," Kitsuneme agreed, rolling his shoulders, "That asshole." He looked over to the other side of the swimming lanes and located Natsume's lithe form, still dressed in his swimming trunks and the varsity jacket, sitting in one of the chairs while the younger swimmers stretched out their limbs and rolled their necks. "Anyway," Kitsuneme turned, piercing me with deep brown eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be in your seat? It's going to start real soon. You don't want to miss the seats Koko managed to get you."

"Yeah, if I ever manage to find it," I grumbled, looking around for Sumire. "It wouldn't be very hard if Sumire had her green hair but after she dyed it, I can't seem to find her as easily."

"Here, I'll show you," Kitsuneme offered, turning me by the shoulder. "Youichi can fend for himself for a bit. He's a big kid, after all." He smiled handsomely before weaving through the crowds and for a second, I thought I lost him before he grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. "Wouldn't want you to get lost," he explained sheepishly, pulling me up the bleachers. "Hurry up."

"Mik-_an_," sang a husky male voice, "Fancy seeing you here, stranger!"

I blinked, surprised to see Kaoru's smiling face sitting with Sumire up on the bleachers.

"Hey, Kaoru-san," I sputtered, offering him a smile. "What are you doing here?"

He shot me a pointed, almost wounded look and said, unabashed, "Let's see. A team of boys with swimming trunks and no shirts on getting wet in a pool with other boys," he grinned wolfishly, raising an eyebrow. "You do the math."

"Alright, alright," I said, holding in a dark laugh, putting my hands up in surrender. "I see your reasons."

"And yours," he murmured, "—is seeing our darling Natsume-kun, I presume?"

I scowled and Sumire laughed, punching Kaoru in the arm, "It is pretty damn obvious, Mikan. No matter what you think."

I turned away from them, a dark flush probably painting my cheeks. "Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about," I growled, facing the pool. There was a shuffle to my left and I turned to see Kitsuneme with a slight frown on his face.

Seeing my eyes on him, he let a small grin grace his boyish features before he muttered, "Well, the events are starting soon. Natsume's on the freestyle team, the team medley race and the individual medley which all really start after all of the other races so you might as well get something to eat before then."

I shrugged and settled in my seat. "Nah, I'm good."

The events passed quickly and our team was pretty damn good. If not for a few losses by a couple of juniors, our team was in the lead by a small margin. With the team medley left, I craned my neck to watch the four boys converged in front of one lane while the other school's boys were converged at another lane a few lanes away. Behind me, both Sumire and Kaoru were hitting it off, talking about what things they wanted in a guy and I let my gaze wander to the two heads of grey hair, one anxiously sitting in his seat, craning his small neck to look on.

"The team medley race will be starting shortly. Teams, get ready," announced the commentator. "On your mark… get set… go!"

The whistle was blown and Koko went sailing into the water in a head dive, diving so deep in fact, that he ended up surfacing well after the other swimmer had, gaining a good second before he started his strokes. The booing started when he touched the end wall, flipping underwater to push his feet off of the wall and spinning back in the direction he'd come. To counter the other teams' negative feedback to our gains, I stood up and started cheering for Alice Academy, lifting Sumire up by her elbow, urging her to cheer along with me.

Cheers went up among Alice Academy's meagerly gathered supporters when Koko made one last, powerful stroke, touching the wall for Hoshino Hoshio to start his butterfly cycle and an eruption of noise from the home supporters shook the walls of the gym when their swimmer dived headlong into the water.

With a slow start, Hoshino made quick work of the first half of the lap and flipped to continue the last half. From the corner of my eye, a flash of red flickered in my peripheral vision and I turned in time to see Natsume taking off his red varsity jacket, throwing it on an empty chair by our bags.

He ran a hand through his black hair before shaking his limbs lazily, causing the water to flicker over his washboard abs.

I swallowed thickly.

Another eruption of cheers from our side exploded followed by the home teams' explosion of supporters, and I redirected my gaze from Natsume's figure to our third swimmer, a senior with dark navy hair. The home team was gaining quickly and my stomach dropped when the small gap that had separated our teams closed. They both flipped off of the wall at the same time and a wave of cheers from the other team scoured the place before my eyes fell upon Natsume once again.

This time, however, he stood languidly by the edge of the pool, shaking off his arms every once in a while before he put them together, eyes trained sharply on the water. Another wave of cheers from the other side alerted me of their swimmer hitting the wall and our belated cheers had me watching Natsume's lithe form leaping off of the edge, his body bending into an arch and his hands, clasped above his head hit the water at about a sixty degree angle.

He surfaced about five seconds later, having hit so deep that he'd gained the seconds lost by the senior in the last lap. He was a mere flash of pale skin within the chlorine filled water and the small flickers of moments I'd been able to keep up, I could see the pulsing of his muscles as he pushed his arms into their powerful, confident strokes. Natsume made freestyle look effortless. He had the grace of a swan, his arms fully extended and the expert, almost languid strokes of his arms in the water barely made much of a ripple compared to the other swimmer in the water.

His pace was insane and he had the speed of a cheetah. One moment he was parallel in the water and the next, he'd flipped, pushing off of the wall and headed in the other direction for the last half lap of the race. Pale skin in contrast to the stray locks of black hair tucked into the swim cap captured my gaze and I was barely aware of the fact that Kitsuneme was shaking me by the shoulders.

"Mikan? Hey, yo… uh—Mikan?"

I blinked, disappointed when I managed to tear my gaze away from Natsume's effortless form into curious brown eyes directly in front of mine, "Uh, yes?"

"Misaki-sensei told me to tell you that Jinno's waiting for you by the entrance doors. He says he's got something to tell you."

I frowned, fighting the protest down my throat when the people around us suddenly burst into loud cheers. Food was thrown, people were on their feet and hugs were going around in flashes and I fought down the disappointment for missing Natsume's last, final stroke. Swallowing my disappointment, I nodded and thanked him, making my way along with almost everybody on our side of the bleachers to congratulate the team. Instead of converging in the happy circle of supporters and the team, however, I craned my neck to look at the door where Jinno was standing wearing his regular brown jacket, tie and black slacks, looking impatient.

It finally hit me how strange it was to see a teacher outside of school and wondered what was so important for him to have to find me off school grounds. What was so important that he couldn't have waited for tomorrow when I'd see him in class?

"Ms. Sakura," he said curtly when he recognized me. "I'm aware this is a strange time to be speaking to you but Mr. Yukihara, the principal of our school, has made it clear that you should be notified of this as soon as possible."

I frowned, looking past the frown lines and the stern look on his face to process his words. "Jinno-sensei… what's going on?"

"It's about your mom," he said without skipping a beat.

My stomach dropped to my feet and I frowned again, "What's wrong? What _about_ my mom?"

"She's missing."

* * *

**A/N: **Other than the fact that I've been plagiarized (_important notes in my profile_), I've been busy at school which partially explains my late update but I can assure you that it won't take me a month to write the next chapter. I've got my ideas already planned out for the rest of the story. It's just going to be about the amount of time I'll be getting after school, tutoring and homework. But I'm trying my best, all things considered and can probably safely assume that **The Bookworm and the Beast** won't reach more than thirty chapters. I'm aiming for twenty-five so be patient, ok? :)

Again, thank you so much for all of the wonderful encouragement and the patient acceptance in your reviews and PMs. I really do appreciate it. Especially those that are long and are filled with suggestions, helpful pointers and good-natured guesses. :)

Oh, and for all of you lucky Filis - have a great summer vacation while I drown under my textbooks!

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	17. Waiting

**Disclaimer:** MHR does not own Gakuen Alice. All rights reserved to Tachibana Higuchi.

_**Dedicated to:**_ _crimsoneyes44_ (because your review was practically longer than the whole chapter, moron. Every time I write a HotaruRuka scene, it reminds me of you), _Kara Nightingale (for the second longest complete with questions, comments and compliments, you're right about almost everything) and of course, Midnight Taiyou because you hold this really special spot in my very tiny heart (That kinda rhymed, if you squint). :D_

_Also, illutiamist, NaughtyAngel12 and IndigoGrapefruit for cheering me on about the plagiarizing.  
_

Thanks guys!

* * *

_A coma might feel better than this._

_Attempting to discover where to begin,_

_You're weighed down, you're full of something_

_Of sickness and desertion._

_You're weighed down and you're full of something,_

_You're underneath it all__…_

_"Waiting__" - **City and Colour  
**_

**  
Chapter Seventeen: Waiting  
**

"She's missing," I deadpanned, looking into Jinno's eyes. My thoughts, once going a mile a minute, now seemed to screech to a halt. Vaguely I could feel my mouth opening and closing but I couldn't _say_ anything. Surprise and confusion seemed to be mixed to its ultimate degree.

I could feel my arms turn cold and the blood in my veins felt like it'd frozen. "My mom is missing," I repeated hollowly.

I blinked but couldn't seem to focus on a specific feature on Jinno's worn face. Time seemed to stop and it was like I was watching this all happen to somebody else because things like this… they just didn't _happen_ in real life. And I definitely never thought this kind of thing would happen to me. Perhaps this was why I couldn't seem to believe the two, short words that had come from Jinno's mouth.

"Yes, Ms. Sakura," Jinno's gravelly voice replied, "Your mother is missing somewhere in North America." He pushed his glasses up his nose and tapped his finger against his forearm in thought. "Yukihara-sama got a call from her agent a few hours ago saying she left a note and his number to call. You're supposed to meet him in his office first thing tomorrow morning to talk about it."

My mind was spinning. What was really up with my mom? It sure didn't sound like she was kidnapped if she was able to write the _principal_ a message… Had she thought about me when she did this? When was she planning to come back? Had she even bothered to write me a note or send me an email? Honestly, what was going _on_?!

But the one question my thoughts returned to was simple: _Where was mom now?_

I blinked to find Jinno shaking my shoulder lightly, frown lines immediately appearing between his eyebrows and the expanse of his forehead. When I finally came out of my reverie, Jinno's lips had thinned into an almost nonexistent line before he pulled back and scowled.

"Ms. Sakura, I'll have to ask you to hold yourself together," he growled sternly, looking relieved when I managed to offer him what I suppose was a grimace of distaste.

He'd opened his mouth to continue chastising me but I cut him off. "Did she say something about me? Did she leave me a message? Is she alright, at least? What the heck is going on, Jinno-sensei? Wha—I don't get this at all!"

"Which is perfectly understandable," Jinno appeased. "But your questions can only be answered by the principal. I have no rights to what was written to him but you'll find out exactly what's going on tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning," I deadpanned in disbelief. "You're expecting me to be _sane _for a dozen or more hours after telling me my own _mother _is missing."

"I'm asking you to, not expecting you to," Jinno reiterated, running a hand through his thinning brownish-grey hair. "Be patient, Ms. Sakura. Yukihara-sama is trying to make the necessary arrangements before seeing you tomorrow. If he was free today, he'd get to you right away. As for this moment in time, he's in the process of dealing with some complications."

I shook my head, "What I don't understand is why this has to do with Principal-sama. This has everything to do with me and nothing to do with him, so why is it that he knows more about this than I do?"

Jinno sent me a strange look but before I could dwell on it any further, he squared his shoulders and said stiffly, "I know this isn't something you want to hear, Ms. Sakura but bear with this information until tomorrow morning." He nodded sharply as a dismissal before setting his tie and turning. "Good day."

_Good day_. The man comes in and tells me my mother is missing, only to leave with a preposterous, _"Good day."_ How the heck does that _work_?!

My mind was still reeling when Kaoru caught my arm and tried to twirl me around, before dipping me clumsily. "Well, the boys have won and we're going out to celebrate at some kind of fatty pizza joint," he announced with a grin on his face, "You in?"

I sputtered and had to hold onto the lapels of his jacket in order to fight down the urge to vomit as he pulled me out of the dip and onto my feet once again. Breathing with difficulty, I looked up into his clear blue eyes and instantly felt him stiffen. "Are you okay, Mikan? You're looking peaky," he murmured curiously, taking my chin in his palm and tipping my head toward the light. He made an affirmative sound and let go with a "Yup, definitely looking peaky" before he squinted into my eyes and poked me in the forehead. "What did you do to yourself _now_?"

I swallowed thickly. "I… uh—no. I'm not sure… I—"

I breathed in shakily. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I fought the urge to double over and instead, was infinitely aware of the feeling of bile coming up my esophagus. The foreign taste of something bitter and sour mixed together made me grip Kaoru's jacket even tighter.

"Mikan, snap out of it and tell me what's wrong," Kaoru shook me slightly, upsetting my stomach even further. "You're really starting to freak me out and – oh… you're turning green."

I ripped my fingers off of his jacket and turned away. I was feeling sick, like there were two entities in my stomach at war… and something had to give. I turned around quickly, eyes darting from greens to blacks and beiges to reds, making my vision cloud and my ears ring.

Kaoru's voice close to my ear muttered loudly, "Oh, you're going to puke, aren't you?" I could practically _feel _him wrinkling his nose when he muttered, "That's just dandy."

I closed my eyes, feeling a hand closing over my forearm before I was stumbling, being tugged in an unknown direction. Voices melded together and the light grey shadows behind my closed eyes were making my stomach spin even faster. I wasn't going to last very long… I could feel it.

"Vomit," commanded Natsume's rough, tired voice. My stomach didn't hesitate to obey. The stupid traitor…

I could taste the putrid tang of sour bile on my teeth and my tongue felt disgustingly dry when I'd finished emptying my stomach. My eyes refused to open however until I felt something cold being pushed into my hand and another one worded command. "Drink."

Blinking blearily, my hazy vision cleared to show the water bottle enclosed in my fist. My fingers undid the lid and I was spitting up more vomit and washing out the taste of bile once more without any indication from my brain. My skin was still heated and a flush of gooseflesh rose on my skin before my head started aching once more. I was vaguely aware of the tunneling of voices around me and the way flashes of lights burst from behind my eyelids.

I groaned, slumping against the wall, feeling suddenly exhausted. My stomach felt absurdly hungry but just the thought of taking in more food after that session made my stomach twist in knots. I probably wouldn't be able to stomach anything, anyway.

"That was kinda gross," Kaoru commented lightly from somewhere in front of me. "I feel sorry for the unfortunate somebody that has to take _that _away…"

I opened my eyes to glare at him, only to come face-to-face with dark ruby eyes. Natsume's features were set in their normal, indifferent expression and I swallowed thickly, almost immediately regretting it when I tasted the remnants of the bile coating my tongue. Raising a brow, Natsume tapped the water bottle again and I brought the bottle to my lips almost immediately.

"What the heck happened, Mikan? You were fine when the game ended," Sumire pointed out needlessly.

My eyes darted immediately to Natsume's and I immediately looked down when I caught his dark, intense gaze. "Nothing," I replied firmly, "I've just been off lately."

I bit my lip, unsure of what else to do. There was a dark grumble from above and I looked up once again a bit startled at the expression of quiet confusion on his face. The blank expression that immediately covered it took me off-guard and Natsume blinked darkly, his eyes narrowed. "You're covered in sweat," he said in a low monotonous voice.

I bit my lip, already feeling the heated blush on my cheeks.

Too caught up at the sight of his pale lips and working every last nerve to resist the urge to brush my hand against my own, I focused my eyes on Koko who seemed dark with worry.

Clearing my throat, trying to create an air of nonchalance, I smiled as bright as my facial muscles would allow and chirped, "I'm fine," I reassured with a nervous laugh. "It's probably something I ate. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to scarf down Permy's breakfast too…! Really everyone, I'm A-okay!"

Natsume seemed to pause with a dubious look of clear disbelief etched vaguely on his face before he raised a brow. The look in his eyes were condescending, almost like he didn't care that I'd just barfed up my stomach and when he stood up and turned his back on me, I felt myself shiver with the cold. I didn't know what was going through his mind. He didn't … _seem _as curious as I thought he might be. Did he… _always _get jumped by girls, kissed and then shrug it off the day later without explanation? God… Knowing that only _one _of us was going out of their minds over the whole kiss thing _sucked._ I was _not _okay with this.

_Damn._

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and frowned.

Why did I even care? Shouldn't I be happy that he wasn't pressing me about the issue? Besides, I knew he didn't like change. So… why did I feel so _disappointed_?

God, I'd just been told my own mother is missing in a whole other continent with an ocean or two separating us and all I can worry about is some stupid, mindless kiss that I jumped on a guy that I may or may not like very much. Were my priorities jacked up or what?

I took another swig of the water bottle before swallowing, pushing myself up against the wall in order to sway myself out the door along with the rest of them. I thought I had gotten out of it unscathed when my elbow was tugged back roughly and Sumire's piercing green eyes froze my legs. "Mikan, what's going on?"

"Why do you think there's something going on?" I asked quickly, heart pounding.

Sumire rolled her eyes, looking bored, "I know we've only known each other for a month and a half but it's obvious that something's going on with you. You were absolutely fine before you went to see Jinno and yes, I know you saw Jinno. Kitsu has a big mouth and lots of people were wondering where you were." She blinked, looking at me sternly with eyes framed with a blanket of black eyelashes. "Now spill, what did he tell you that's got your stomach in knots?"

"There is nothing wrong with my stomach, thanks," I returned sardonically, moving us towards the doors. "Now where is Koko when you need him?"

"Don't give me that, Mikan. Seriously," Sumire ground out. "If you think you can pull that sorry excuse for a reason in my face, you don't know me at all. And there is something seriously wrong with your stomach if it has you throwing up all over the place."

She wrinkled her nose with disdain and shuffled in her bag for a pack of Tic Tacs. "Here, you're going to need these." She growled when I didn't make a move to take them and instead, ripped my hand from my pocket and shoved the pack in my hand, closing my fingers over the package, "You need them. I can still smell the strong whiff of puke on you."

"Oh, gee thanks, Permy," I rolled my eyes, downing the rest of the water bottle before popping a Tic Tac in my mouth. "I mean it, thanks. The smell of mint isn't making my stomach churn as much as it was before."

Sumire shrugged, turning her head away in nonchalance. "I wouldn't want to go to a pizza place with a bunch of ripped, six-packed guys with you smelling like a—for a lack of a better word—barf bag," she said idly, twirling a lock of black hair. "Besides, now that I've managed to woo you with Tic Tacs, you're going to tell me what exactly is going on, yeah?"

"Uh, no," I replied with a quirked eyebrow. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are. C'mon, it might even make your stomach feel better if you take all of this off your chest." She glimpsed down at me, actually bending at the hip to look into my eyes. "The color's come back to your cheeks." She placed the back of her hand against my forehead before looking thoughtful. "You're not too hot either. Must be feeling better, huh?"

I blinked. "Uh yeah, I am. I _told _you," I groused blithely. "And if you think you can weasel anything out of me, you _won't_."

"You know I'll end up wheedling it out of you eventually, right?" she replied offhandedly, twisting her hair into a clean knot. "You might as well get it over with so that I can sulk along with you or tell you how stupid you are. Either works with me," she grinned cheekily.

When I didn't answer or seem to have heard her speak, Sumire slapped me playfully on the arm before raising a brow. "You trust me, don't you?"

_Ah, the trust card._

_Boy_, she was good.

I pursed my lips, trying hard not to glare at her from behind my eyelashes. I rolled my eyes at the dark, mischievous snicker that escaped her lips and the look of triumph on her face. Trust Sumire to take what I said and throw it back in my face.

I bit my lip, analyzing her bright curiosity. Thinking about it again made my chest feel tight with worry, but I didn't cry. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Dad used to always say how ugly girls looked when they cried and how his little girl looked so beautiful with a smile on her face… Besides, I'd cried so much when he died that I promised not to cry anymore because I still had Mom and I knew deep inside that Dad loved our family too much to have abruptly left us alone. He'd watch out for us. I knew he would.

Vaguely I wondered, how did he feel, seeing our family crumble from above?

I heard a muttered curse and realized only seconds later that it had just come from me. "My mom's missing."

Sumire recoiled in shock. "What?"

I couldn't repeat myself. Instead, I dropped to my feet and sat on the grass of… somewhere. I really couldn't care.

"_Missing_? What do you mean she's _missing_?" Sumire repeated, alarmed. She sobered up and lowered her head at the dark glare that I aimed at her and said in a whisper, "I mean, I knew she'd be touring North America with her book so …'_missing'_?"

"Missing, as in I don't know where she is. Missing, as in she won't have any idea what I'm going through. Missing, as in I'm not going to see her for a while and that dark, stupid worry in my chest that aches so _much _because I don't know how she is or what she's doing and I _need _her but she won't know _now _will she?" I winced at the pathetic, panicked tone my voice had taken on. "Look," I lowered my voice, making sure no one was in hearing distance. "I don't know all of the details but apparently the Principal got a call from my mom's agent telling _him_ all about it. Apparently I'm supposed to wait until tomorrow morning to find out what the heck is going on. All _I _know," I said tersely, ignoring the look of curious concern in her eyes, "—is that my mom wasn't kidnapped." A wry, humorless laugh escaped my lips. "She had the time to write the Principal a personal _love _letter after all… _what would Dad say_… she didn't even _bother _emailing _me _first… the Principal, my _God…_"

"Okay, wait. _Stop_." Sumire stepped back, a look of soft understanding on her face. "Look, just slow down and calm it," Sumire replied patiently. She bit her lip, reached for my hand and squeezed it softly. "C'mon. Let's go get some pizza. We'll talk about this with Imai tonight, okay? I think it might be best that you hear it tomorrow anyway…"

I blinked.

That was unexpected.

Grabbing my hand back, I looked at her pointedly as if seeing her for the first time. "That's it? That's all you have to say?" I asked angrily. "I tell you that my mom's gone _missing_ and all you've got to say about it is, _'Calm down, you should wait for tomorrow?' _No comments like '_who does that Principal think he is?! Let's go to his office right now, break down his door and choke the truth out of him!' _Or even an '_I'm sure you've got it all wrong!'_" I scowled at her expression of indignation before huffing and stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Turning around, I started walking in the direction the swimmers had gone and shook my head in disbelief. "Whatever. Apparently I thought you'd care enough to be as angry as I am but I guess things weren't as good as I thought they were between us."

Moodswings, I know. But dammit, I had a good reason to be!

I'd gone several steps before her hard voice stopped me in my tracks. "Mikan," she growled from behind, her tone saturated with exasperation, "Stop."

In the heat of the moment, I whirled around to face her with anger practically roiling off of my body. "What now?"

Her green eyes flashed with anger before she snapped, "You're hurt and you're angry and you're taking it all out on me." She raised a brow and cocked her head slightly to the side, "Do you honestly think I deserve the brunt of your anger?"

I scowled darkly and bit my lip, turning away to look at anywhere but her face. "Fine," I started in a neutral voice. "I'm sorry."

The apology sounded false even to my ears but she nodded and took it all in stride. "You're forgiven," she replied without skipping a beat. She caught up quickly, folding her arms across her chest. Standing side by side, not looking at each other, her voice shook, "I know we've just become friends but trust me when I say, I know how you feel. I guess it's just good to remember, it was never your fault."

Balancing on the balls of her feet for a moment, Sumire stuffed her hands into her short shorts and muttered, "Let's get going."

I watched her back as she started forwards before my brain seemed to find its normal track once again. And just as fast as it'd come, my thoughts were on the run and I had to drag myself up and brace myself before starting after them.

* * *

When the both of us arrived to the pizza place, it was to be hit with a strong aroma of garlic and tomato sauce. The place was packed with people but the atmosphere was great. Being crammed into a room with a bunch of people, chairs and tables didn't seem to be as bad as I would've thought if I still lived back home with mum and dad.

Dad, who had passed away not even a year before and mum, who had decided to run off without me. The two people that I'd grown up with, learnt from and depended on were gone now. And if the two people I'd always identified myself with were gone … what did that make me?

_Alone._

But then again, that wasn't very true either. I was standing in a crowded pizza place with friends, wasn't I?

_Then again, you can be surrounded by hoards of people and still be alone._

Ah, how I used to love those clichés. In books they were all fine and dandy but when they were all being jumbled together? I was _so _not okay with it.

My fists clenched in my jacket pockets. I wasn't the painter's daughter anymore. I couldn't even be called that famous author's daughter. Was this what I'd become? A nobody? Who was I now?

_Mikan Sakura, of course._

…

…

Yeah, but who was that exactly…?

"Mikan? Helloooooo! Oh, there you are," Kitsuneme grinned boyishly, shoving the hand he'd been waving in front of my face back into his pocket. "Now that you're back from whatever planet you went to, how about you stop holding up traffic and follow me to our table?"

Without waiting for an answer, he'd walked behind me and started pushing me by the shoulders to a table where the swimmers had congregated. "Kitsu…! Just, wait a second I'm not…"

And then he was there, standing tall and defiant and sinfully handsome as always. Really, did he _have _to show how loyal and caring and _guh_ he was the night before? I would have _one _less thing to worry about without that dark, neutral expression on his face. He blinked easily and before anything more could be said, he'd clenched his jaw and ordered, "You're sitting by me."

I heard Kitsuneme grumble.

Natsume kept his red eyes on me, gesturing with his head to the large booth behind him. I looked at the table tucked in the corner to see Sumire's face fall in disappointment. "Damn," she whispered heatedly, watching as Natsume spoke to Kitsuneme without getting into the booth. "I planned it out _perfectly _and he _still _manages to foil my plans!" She scowled, pretty pink lips pulled into a snarl, "Damn, he's smart. Do you see how he's not coming in to sit beside you just yet but he's _barring _the entrance so that nobody else can sit beside you?" Sumire huffed indignantly, "Sly, sly _bastard_."

I ignored the flutter in my belly and tried to focus on what she'd just said. "For a girl that likes him so much, I can't believe you just called him a bastard."

Sumire shot me a dark look before rolling her eyes, "Oh c'mon. I spend my time thinking up these spectacularly romantic moments between us and _every single damn time, _I'm foiled." She crossed her arms and sneered crustily, "To think he had the nerve to call you to sit beside me, that handsome bastard."

I couldn't help it. The laugh burst out of me before I could contain it and I looked at her grinning face before dissolving into another bout of giggles. "Wow," I muttered breathless, "—you are such a drama queen."

Sumire lifted her chin up and snapped, "Unashamed, too." The grin on her face contradicted her snappy response and I shook my head.

Looking past her, I nodded to her side, "What's with the empty seat beside you?"

Her eyes darkened and a scowl of annoyance marred her features before she flipped a wave of black hair over her shoulder and muttered, "Koko called it," she shrugged, looking at the seat beside her in distaste. "I don't know how the hell he's going to get back to claim it though." Seeing my grin, she snapped, "Wipe that off your face, Mikan. Don't think I didn't try to get Kaoru to move to sit beside me," she huffed, glaring at the boy across from us. "That bastard didn't want to 'miss out on hanging with the boys'."

A roar of laughter erupted on the other side and Kaoru grinned, winking at us before turning back to the boys on either side of him to say something else. He'd draped an arm casually against the back rest of the booth's cushiony chair and I could see his hands twitching to throw over a shoulder. He said something else to warrant another bout of laughter before he made to slap the boy's arm to his left, letting his hand linger far longer than necessary.

Sumire snorted beside me, "No tactics at all," she murmured sullenly. "I swear, the next time I get him alone, his ass is mine."

"Who's ass?"

Koko's head poked out from under the table and he scrambled up and into his seat with a large grin on his face. His clothes were wrinkled and smattered with shoe prints on both arms and legs but the grin didn't waver. Instead, he brought one of the cups of coke to his flushed cheeks and waved, "Hey Mikan, feeling better?"

For a moment, surrounded by these people, I'd forgotten what had distressed—_hate _using that word to describe me—me in the first place.

Sighing, I nodded and felt something warm brush against my arm on my left. Before I could prepare myself, Natsume's voice caught my ears, "Did you settle everything?"

I froze, butterflies immediately fluttering within my stomach… until, of course, Koko answered, "Yeah, they're cool with it," he shrugged. "My parents can pay for the tab, it's not like they don't have enough of it."

Mechanically, I turned beside me and met Natsume's profile. The butterflies that had been flying around my stomach intensified and I shot my gaze to the table to hide any embarrassing expressions from his view.

"The next one's mine then," Natsume returned coolly.

Koko shrugged and his head popped up, exclaiming, "PIZZA!"

Platters of pizza hit the table and arms and legs reached to grab the slices. I waited, inwardly scowling at the fact that I hadn't washed my hands and didn't have the nerve to ask the six others that had filed in after Natsume and Natsume himself to move out of the way for me to get out. Instead, I sat with my hands clasped in my lap wondering how many germs I'd come into contact with since this morning and if eating after emptying my stomach so suddenly was a good idea.

Two more male servers reached our table and I looked hungrily at the pizza, steaming with gooey cheese and delicious pepperoni…

"Here," a slice of pizza was all but shoved into my face.

I blinked at the pizza slice posed on the napkin in front of me being held out by Natsume and took in the neutral expression on his face. He rolled his eyes, annoyance flitting onto his features briefly before he pointed out, "I won't be doing this all day."

I scowled, but took the slice nonetheless. "I didn't ask you to get one for me anyways," I bit out tartly, taking a bite of the pizza. "Besides, who said I was hungry in the first place? I could be here to congratulate you guys, you know."

"But you're not. You're eating."

"Only because you shoved it in my face," I returned coolly, polishing off the slice. I looked on the table for another, my stomach unimpressed after being emptied so abruptly an hour before. The closest pan was two seats to my left and to get another slice, I'd have to reach over Natsume…

The thought made me green.

"Could you—"

"No," Natsume cut in suddenly, eyes displaying his clear amusement. "You didn't seem too happy when I did it the first time," he drawled boyishly, eyes with more mirth than I'd ever seen. "So to keep both of us satisfied, I won't."

"You are such a smart ass," I said dryly, eyeing the cheese slice with wanton need. I wasn't going to ask him again though, even if my stomach was heatedly rebuking me for it. Instead, I took to glaring at him as hard as I could while he reached over and took the slice I'd been obviously eyeing. With a smirk, he brought the slice to his lips and bit into it.

My stomach cried at the sight.

"Natsume, you—"

"Oh for God's sake," muttered Sumire from my other side, grabbing from the uneaten pile of pizza slices on Koko's plate. "There, now eat up."

I looked at her face, flushed with what, I didn't know but I took the slice and bit it, wondering briefly why something seemed to change between us.

…

_Again._

* * *

Slowly, one after the other, our booth emptied. Scraps of crust, thrown pepperoni and pineapple bits littered the table and my stomach was filled to the brim.

It was unnerving, the conversation that I'd had with Natsume. But maybe not in the sense that I'd thought it'd be. The whole time we'd been talking, I'd been anticipating the dark question about the kiss. I'd been waiting for it to come from his lips between talk about swimming and soccer and school and that new up-and-moving singer with the weird hair—but it didn't.

I'd been ready to flee at the mere _thought_ of talking about it because it was on _my _mind, how could it not be on _his_!? But he didn't ask about it. A part of me was glad he didn't because I still didn't know the answer to that question, and the other, larger part of me was (inexplicably) crestfallen because that must mean he just didn't like it or care much for it or something along those lines, right?

So as I waited, all jittery and hungry and confused… Natsume had been typical Natsume.

He was curt when Sumire spoke to him, sardonic when Koko spoke to him, arrogant and rude when Kaoru talked to him and to everyone else, he was pretty much monotonous or unimpressed.

Except with me. He pretty much gave me the full treatment: curt, sarcastic, arrogant, rude and unimpressed.

By the end of it, I wanted to throw a pan at his face.

Too bad, I was such a bleeding coward.

Sumire wrenched the door open and sighed. I walked in after her, watching as Ruka sprung away from Hotaru with amusement. With a smirk and a languid lick of her lips, Hotaru turned her eyes over to us and raised an eyebrow.

"You're late."

"Not that Ruka-kun seemed to mind," Sumire winked conspiratorially, laughing when his face reddened. "You lovebirds have fun while I wallow in self-pity… alone… in my room…" She puffed out her chest melodramatically and headed out of the living room, but let loose a sharp laugh when she'd rounded the corner.

Ruka scowled softly, taking Hotaru's hand and rubbing slow circles in her palm. "How'd the game go, Mikan-san?"

"Ruka-pyon," I rolled my eyes, "Mikan-san? C'mon, that sounds stupid. Mikan, Mikan. That's my name."

"It can't be worse than you calling him 'Ruka-pyon'," Hotaru snorted, tapping a finger against his hand. She turned her head to look at him, amethyst eyes doing her worst before she murmured blandly, "Ruka, it's late. Go home."

A boyish grin lit up his face before he turned toward me, winked and turned back to say, "But Hotaru… my home is wherever you are…"

She threw him off after punching him soundly in the arm. Dark velvet eyes flashed when she said coldly, "Never Nogi, and I mean _never_ say that to me again or you'll realize in the morning that you're no longer a man." Her eyes narrowed when Ruka chuckled. "I mean it, Nogi."

He put his hands up in surrender before chuckling once again. "Okay, okay," he sighed playfully, making a show of pulling her into his arms. Kissing her soundly on the cheek and then on the lips, he grinned wolfishly, "At least, not in front of the others."

"Never," Hotaru told him firmly. "Alone or not." Her eyes glanced over at me and I wanted to shrink back into the wall instead of being an audience to their moment but Ruka, who'd always been so shy and well… _blushing_ around Hotaru, couldn't look more amused.

"Nogi, go away," Hotaru rolled her eyes.

"I love you, too," he replied lightly, kissing her on the forehead.

Hotaru grumbled and sat back down on the couch, watching as he put on his jacket and headed toward the door. "See you later, _Mikan_." He emphasized my name. "Hotaru," he paused, another cheeky grin making its way onto his face, "I'll call you later."

When the door closed, I raised a brow at Hotaru. "So what'd you do to make him so happy?"

Her eyes rose listlessly to mine before she replied bluntly, "I told him I loved him for the first time."

* * *

"How do you deal with horrible situations? Have you ever felt as though the wrong things were happening to you?" I asked when Hotaru turned the light on in the kitchen and stepped foot into the room. "Have you ever imagined things going one way all your life and having them thrown totally off track?"

Hotaru blinked, her black bangs pulled back with a white butterfly clip (she would never wear it in public but she'd sworn Sumire and I to secrecy when we burst into her room in the middle of the night one time and caught the accessory in her hair) and short hair recently blow dried to sway in small ripples. I caught the jump in her jaw before she parted pale lips, quirked an eyebrow and asked blandly, "Why were you sitting in the dark?"

I groaned and let my head fall onto my folded arms. "Did you _not _catch a word I just asked?" I grumbled, tilting my face up to catch a glimpse of her pajamas.

She walked slowly into the room and leaned against the counter before asking, "Why all the questions?"

"Later, later," I muttered, leaning back in the chair and waving the question off dismissively. "Just give me your take on what I just asked." She blinked, unaffected and I shook my head, adding quickly, "Please?"

Rolling her eyes, Hotaru turned her head to look at something in the living room and I fidgeted as I waited for her answer. My fingers darted from the hem of my shirt to the neglected fashion magazine's front page to the puddle of water on the surface of the table before I caught Hotaru's soft sigh. My eyes snapped up to meet murky, violet eyes and it was with a pause that she answered later, "Yes. I suppose you could say I have."

She said nothing more and I restrained the urge to groan before I waved her to continue. "C'mon, you can't just spend ten minutes thinking about the question, answer it and not elaborate!" I pouted, sullenly scraping patterns into the cover of Sumire's magazine. "What happened?"

"We," Hotaru started monotonously, eyes looking vague as she drew circles into the counter, "—are just like a pair of key riddles. We start off in one piece and many try to figure us out. They pick and they prod and wheedle until the two keys finally come apart." She paused, glancing up with pearly eyes and shrugged. "It should be easy to put them back together once they're pulled apart but it's not. If anything, it's even harder, especially because they're not quite whole anymore."

She paused, looking at my face.

Have you ever had a friend that made you feel like the world's biggest moron? Well, at the moment, Hotaru was definitely fitting the role.

I didn't get it. It was probably apparent because Hotaru sighed and clasped her hands together. "What I'm trying to say is 'you can expect things to happen as much as you want but not everything is going to work out the way you'd have wanted it to'. When something drastic happens to us, we're changed to the point where we just can't go back to the people we were before."

I blinked.

With a listless grumble, Hotaru heaved herself onto the counter and raised a brow in my direction. "You didn't ask for it, but I'll give you an example." She paused as if collecting her thoughts before continuing, "Even if it's hard to believe, I had a dream to become just like my mother. Confident and successful, respected and revered. That dream led me throughout my elementary years and the beginning of freshman year—"

"You're already confident, successful, respected and all that," I interrupted sharply, swinging my legs.

"Be that as it may, my mother exceeded all expectations," Hotaru returned, displeased she'd been cut off. "As I was saying, my mother was cold and resourceful. She could persuade among the best and with the divorce, she'd only improved in her abilities. Just watching her in front of a crowd was amazing." Hotaru paused with nostalgia. "That's what I wanted to be."

She shrugged. "So I worked for it. I excelled in school, came up with resources in my own ways and managed to give off the feel of malicious control to perfection. But then Nogi came along, with his naivety and his trust and—God, he was such an _idiot_ at times—after that, things just spiraled out of control."

"But you love him."

"At fourteen, I didn't," Hotaru returned blandly. "He was problematic and nosy, innocent and honest. I didn't trust him one bit."

"If you thought he was so honest, why wouldn't you trust him?"

"Did you not pay attention when we watched _Pirates of the Caribbean_?" Hotaru griped impatiently, the question immediately causing me to laugh. "Jack Sparrow says, "It's the honest ones you've got to watch out for because you never know what they've got up their sleeves."" She leaned back with a rueful smirk to her lips, "And it's true."

I raised a brow but Hotaru didn't pause. "I don't trust easily. I don't feel the need to open up to strangers who seem as shallow as water on a plate. With that said, you can imagine my reluctance to having _him _near and so persistently insistent." Hotaru folded her arms with a dark grumble before rolling her eyes. "But Nogi doesn't give up easily and no matter how thick I'd built up my walls, he seemed to be having a damn easy time tearing them down again. I never understood why and no matter how many questions were asked, I never got answers that I liked but…" Hotaru paused, thoughtful, "—it depends on you. I pushed, kicked and fought it all the way and I still ended up failing but to me, the prospect of failing this _one _thing doesn't scare me."

Violet eyes flashed to meet mine and the corners of her eyes were mocking, "I won't get into the dramatics but to get to the point, you learn to roll with it when things don't go the way you want it to. I may hate clichés but this one is true _"Everything happens for a reason"_ and I firmly believe that whatever it is that life has thrown at you, you'll learn how to take it all in stride." She crossed her ankles and leaned up against the cupboards, raising another one of her eyebrows in her trademark smirk. "So? What happened?"

I scowled.

"What? I answered your questions, gave you advice and now it's your turn to spill."

I pouted sullenly and glared at her. "You didn't say what I wanted to hear…" I grumbled. "It was more or less the same advice that Sumire gave me but in a less cryptic and dramatic way." Hotaru looked smug but lifted her chin in an act of unmoving defiance.

Sighing, I retold her everything I'd told Sumire, pausing only to allow Sumire to come in and when I was through, Hotaru had quieted and Sumire had started tapping her fingernails against the table in a morbid rhythm.

When I looked back at Hotaru, she looked like she had a knowing gleam to her eyes, but that wasn't unusual. It was best not to question her when she had that gleam, I had come to discover.

I leaned back against the chair and melted, drained from the day's events and tired of… of _everything_. The confusion, the surprise, the stress and the guilt, it was all bearing down on my shoulders and I couldn't _bear _it any longer.

* * *

"You won't be alone. We'll be here for you."

"No one died, Sumire. You're making me nauseous."

She slapped me in the shoulder with a dark grumble but I barely felt it. We were on our way to the Principal's office after I'd passed out at the table the night before and my stomach had been in tight knots the moment I'd woken up. Hotaru hadn't said a word since we'd left other than to point out that I was going to step on a pile of dog crap.

Too bad she'd said it just as I'd stepped in it. I swear, she could've pointed it out earlier but when asked, all she did was smirk and walk ahead. Thank God Sumire carried an extra pair of shoes in her purse.

"The thing that I still can't figure out," Sumire's voice interrupted the silence, "—is why in the world your mother would bother to contact the principal. I mean, if she was going to stop her work and start, I don't know, sight-seeing or something, why bother tell you when you're being cared for at the school with money on your card and everything to last you till the end of the year?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "How would I know? You know everything I do."

"Yeah but when I think about it," Sumire persisted. "You said you didn't have any relatives here, right? I guess your mom was right to tell the person that's responsible for you what's happened to her. Still, something at the back of my head doesn't feel right…"

I hated to think about it but everything Sumire said was something I'd wondered about myself. I had no relatives here and if I did, well something told me they weren't very close to my parents if they hadn't bothered to show up for my father's funeral. Something just wasn't adding up and—

"We're here."

I didn't remember the secretary ushering us in or anything about how we got there but the next thing I knew, the three of us were sitting down in front of the principal. I was stunned at how handsome… familiar he looked. The dark blonde hair on his head was wavy and grew just past his ears. His eyes were an unsettling, deep molten grey that stirred something hollow in the pit of my stomach. They were framed with a set of thick eyelashes and topped off with dark, defined eyebrows. The straight nose, the strong jaw, the familiar tightening of his thin but long mouth…

"Who are you…?"

Sumire snorted. "He's the principal, stupid."

One of his dark eyebrows rose and I flushed under his curious, penetrating gaze. It was a gaze so intense that once my eyes met his, I was frozen, locked under his trance. He looked at me in a way that reminded me of… of…

I couldn't bear to think about him.

"We'll start with introductions then." He tore his eyes from mine and settled them on either Sumire or Hotaru, I wasn't sure who was sitting where. All I could do was try to get my brain working again, try to get my breath back because his eyes and his _voice_… something wasn't _right_ with this man.

"I'm Principal Yukihara, I'm the principal of our school," his voice was tight. "I've already had the pleasure of meeting you, Ms. Imai. Your brother was a gift to our school and I'm sorry to have had to let him go the year he graduated." His smile was kind but why did it make my heart _ache _so bad?

"And Ms. Shouda, I'm certain we've never been properly introduced. Forgive me but Mr. Yome loves to mention you whenever he finds himself in my office."

Sumire flushed with mortification before she pasted a chilling fake smile on her lips. "Oh, no _problem_ Principal Yukihara. I hope you'll find that I'd never _dream _of strangling our _dear, dear_ Mr. Yome…" She cleared her throat and muttered, "—but yes, Sumire Shouda."

Then his eyes were on mine and I froze once more.

"And Mikan Sakura," his voice was still strained, "—at last we meet."

A chill ran down the length of my spine.

He folded his hands together atop his desk and looked at me, eyes running down the length of my face as the light from the window behind him cast the principal in a golden glow. My heart beat quickened.

"Straight to the point, let's talk about your mother." His hand reached for a folder on his desk which he opened with haste and I was stunned at the jerky movements of his hands. "I received an impromptu call from her the other day and I'm not sure what Mr. Jinno told you but I hope he didn't scare you too bad. Your mother has been through some… tribulations for the past while and has decided to cancel her book tour in favor of some relaxation time, I presume. Whereabouts, I've yet to be told but she is still in North America. Whether she decides to take her trip to Europe then back to Asia, I do not know. Your mother was very insistent in not telling me the details. What I _have _been told is that you have enough money on your card to sustain you for the amount of time she'll be gone and that she is safe and healthy. She's not… proud of not being able to tell you this herself but once again, I'll stress that she's been through some tough issues that she hasn't been able to overcome and wonders if you'd allow her to work them out—"

"That _coward._"

The principal paused, eyes wide open in surprise. "I'm sorry?"

"She_ 'wonders if I'd allow her to work them out'_? Oh that's just _rich_ when she's already gone and run off! Why bother ask when she's already skipped out without my say?"

"Mikan—"

The principal cut Sumire off. "That… wasn't what she said, exactly. I don't remember her words to the T but I was trying to make it polite—"

"I'm sorry Principal Yukihara but you can't make my mother _abandoning_ me sound 'polite'. There are no two ways about it. And who are you to try to do that anyway? Why'd she tell _you_ of all people? I'm not trying to be disrespectful, sir. I'm trying to understand. Why _you_?"

"I'm your guardian now, Mikan."

It felt like the wind was being squeezed out of my lungs. He wasn't going to say it, why wasn't he going to say it?!

"And who gave you that right?! _Who let you decide_!?"

"Your mother."

"_Why?!_"

The principal sucked in a tight breath, his hands still shuffling the files within his folder in an act of nervousness and somehow I _knew_, I knew it before the words came out of his mouth—

"I'm your uncle. Your father was my brother."

—but knowing didn't make the impact any less lenient.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hello. Um, I'm aware that it's been a rather long time and I have a perfect excuse for—'kay no, just shoot me.

I read over your reviews again this morning (_THANKYOU! I'd like you guys to know that I feel like a bastard for the slow post) _and some people are a bit confused about some things, most of which have been answered in chapters posted a long time ago. Since this is the case, I'm currently trying to compile a series of FAQ questions that'll be answered in the next chapter's A/N so if you have questions, feel free to ask in your reviews in the next day or two (again, depends) and I'll answer to the best of my ability without giving the whole story away.

_chris3169512_ and _aegyo_- You're right about Kitsuneme. :)

Yay! Kazu Yukihara! I have a [strong] inexplicable love for him!

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	18. Stay With You

**Disclaimer**: Gakuen Alice just ain't mine.  
**Dedicated**** to**: _Those crazy readers of mine. Thank you. :) Oh, Jenn (MidnightTaiyou) for being my 1700th reviewer. :D  
_

* * *

_I'll stay with you._

_The walls will fall before we do._

_So take my hand now, we'll run forever,_

_I can feel the storm inside you._

_I'll stay with you._

_"Stay With You"__ - **Goo Goo Dolls**_

**Chapter 18: Stay With You**

My ears were ringing, _still_ ringing from the meeting with the Principal that had immediately gone south the moment those two facts had been voiced from his lips. The thing is, I'd known, at the back of my mind, that there was something just too familiar about the way he looked and the way he moved.

The question of 'how' struck me for a second before I figured…

I'd seen it all before.

My father had the same OCD behavior the principal – no, my _uncle_ – seemed to have. When they were nervous, their hands had to have something to do, which usually resulted in the sharp, hasty tap of their fingers. When they had something difficult to say, there was a noticeable strain in their voices. What probably tipped me off at the end was in the way my uncle had had that searching look on his face after seeing me… I'd _known _that the resemblance couldn't have been just coincidence.

Then why did it hurt so bad… being told what I'd already guessed?

But God, at least I didn't cry… _that _would've been horrifying to me and dad, both.

Muffled sounds of movement echoed from within the kitchen to my room. I opened my eyes with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling, colored in a painful plain white, as I listened to the faint sounds of dinner being made.

I hadn't bothered going to class after the meeting with the Principal. What was the point when I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything anyway? All it would get me was a detention from Mr. Jinno when I couldn't get a question right, homework I wouldn't understand from History, and English could do without me for a class. Gym was self-explanatory; Luna and her little posse of friends would only serve to irritate me further and what was the point in stressing over petty high school clique fights when my _personal_ life was spiraling out of control?

To think I had an _uncle_ this whole entire time… and so close to me, too…

Two short knocks on the door broke my eyes from their comfortable glare toward the ceiling and I rolled sluggishly on my bed until my back was facing the door.

Sumire's voice, irritated with just a sliver of concern, barked through the door, "You didn't eat breakfast and you didn't eat lunch – _that I know of_ – so could you please get your butt out of there for five minutes to get some dinner before you hole yourself in your room again?"

I sighed.

Sumire and Hotaru had gone to class while I'd decided to be MIA for the day and when they'd come back, all I'd been hearing were muffled murmurs, light footfalls and the occasional clatter and curse. They left me alone for the most part, which I was thankful for. I might've been a bleeding coward for not going out but my mind was already spiraling with questions that made me question my sanity. Why would I want to subject them to my foul mood swings and subject _myself _to their sympathy?

But now…

"I mean it Mikan, don't make me barge in there and slap you awake."

… _so much for sympathy._

With a grumble (from my stomach), I rolled off the bed and walked sluggishly to the door. I could still feel the stiff, folded piece of paper in my jeans as I walked, but I tried to put the matter at the back of my mind. When I walked through the doorway, Sumire seemed surprised to have gotten me out so easily. She shouldn't have been, though. She should've known that I was a sucker for anything that would satisfy my stomach.

"It's about time you came out. I really didn't want to have to call one of the guys to rip your door off its hinges to get you, you prat." She harrumphed and I heard the click of her shoes as she followed after me, muttering all the way.

I grunted and walked to the kitchen, heading straight toward the pot of strained pasta in the sink.

I heard the cautious footstep from off to the left, but didn't pay any mind. It was Hotaru, that's all. Surprising, because I could've sworn she'd wanted to eat dinner with Ruka. Then again, I wouldn't put it past her to cancel because of… well the thing that happened this morning.

Asdjkfjsldrwiusakdfnsnj—

Ugh, I didn't even want to think about it.

I served a large helping of pasta onto one of the awaiting plates and turned to reach for the ladle within the pot of tomato sauce.

—And almost dropped my plate.

Natsume—not Hotaru—was standing by the counters, so out of place amongst the light color scheme of the kitchen and the household appliances. My eyes didn't linger on him for long before I remembered to look away, but with the quick glance, Natsume was wearing his customary dark washed jeans and leather jacket. He looked the same as he'd always had. It was Natsume, just Natsume.

The same Natsume I'd been trying to _not _think about for the past… day and three quarters.

What was he _doing _here? And who the hell had let him into the room?

"_I_ did."

Startled, the plate in my hands jumped once again and I turned to glare at Sumire's stolid expression. She was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, her arms crossed and eyes curious. Her voice was smooth when she explained, "He was looking for you."

I glared at her again.

She uncrossed her arms and looked in Natsume's direction before raising her eyebrows. "Well, I'll give you two some privacy but if it takes you too long to say what you want to say, Natsume-kun, then I'm coming in and booting you out so that we can all have a proper dinner." She blinked, thoughtful. "Unless you'd like to stay, then we'd love to accommodate you."

I didn't know why it happened and I didn't _like _that I felt it, but hearing Sumire emphasizing the word '_love'_ and following it with such a suggestive request… I didn't like the feeling of my stomach dropping to my feet or the way my eyes instantly narrowed in her direction. I didn't like it, not at all.

I knew what it was. It wasn't a very difficult feeling to explain.

_Jealousy_.

The thought of why _I _was feeling jealous at the moment was beyond me. I should be indifferent to him and his presence after everything I'd learnt this morning. My priorities were _seriously _jacked up if I was feeling jealous about my own _roommate _when my family is in shambles, when I've been _lied _to by my own parents about something so… so… _important_, so _crucial_ to who I _am_ and when there was just so much else I should be thinking about. Not to mention the fact that my mother was off gallivanting in North America on her spontaneous whims…

If anything, the only reason I should be jealous is that Natsume has both of his parents by his side…

Angry, I glared at him when Sumire left and crossed my arms. "Well? To what do I owe this visit, Natsume?"

He shifted, tilting his head in such a way that I couldn't make out the shadows that covered the planes of his face. "You kissed me the other day," he looked at me carefully. "I want to know why."

And just liked that, I couldn't breathe.

To think I'd thought he'd be indifferent about it like he was to _all_ things, like he was all day yesterday when we were out for pizza and when I vomited and oh god… of course he had the _perfect _timing to catch me where I couldn't escape.

My first instinct was to lie to him. I wanted to pretend I didn't know what the heck he was talking about. I wanted to avoid this whole thing, avoid the awkwardness of the atmosphere around us and the way I couldn't even _look _him in the _eye _anymore because it'd just be so much easier that way. But ever since coming to Alice Academy, nothing had been as easy as it was before. So what made this any different? Why be lenient _now_?

I sighed, thinking about how unfair life was, and how I ought to be fair to him. Besides… wouldn't I want to know the same thing if our roles were reversed? Wouldn't I be beating myself over the head and panicking about the kiss too?

Not that he was panicking about anything. His expression, as it was, looked like he'd been carved out of smooth glass. It was so unfair, how completely unaffected he looked. Because, you know, looking at a boy you randomly kissed when you're about to confess that you might like him when he's wearing such a _welcoming, _uncaring expression just serves to _boost _one's confidence and all.

I didn't want to think about it. I _liked _him, the stupid punk that was Natsume Hyuuga. There were no two ways around it. How else could I explain the fact that I'd practically _jumped _the man in the middle of the night?

"You can't like me."

His voice startled me for only a second before my temper flared to life. I would've shouted at him, told him how he couldn't tell me what the heck I could and couldn't do but… his voice was quiet and all kinds of dark and strained. Like he was saying something that he didn't want to.

"Who says I do?" I all but snarled back, practically throwing the plate of unsauced spaghetti on the counter to clench my hands into fists. "And to be honest, why do you even care, it's not like it's never happened to you before!"

I pressed my lips together and watched him carefully. He'd reacted by throwing me a dark glare and rolling his eyes. "You kissed me," he said bluntly, "—and the only logical explanation is that you…" He paused, "-_like_ me in some way or another. I don't think you're like Koizumi," he raised a brow, " Unless you _do _make it a point to kiss guys you don't like."

Did that mean Luna had already kissed him befor—_no_, shut up! Don't think about that!

I thought I saw something dark pass over his face, but I was too busy sputtering and feeling the blush rise in my cheeks to pay it any mind. He _knew_. He knew before I could even _say _anything. Did that mean it was obvious that I liked him? The embarrassment only numbed me and I slumped against the wall, sliding until I thumped lightly on the ground. Avoiding his eyes, I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself protectively.

"It's not like I _want _to like you," I muttered through my arms. "I don't even _know _if I really like you at all because I could've sworn it was only weeks ago that I couldn't _stand _you." I tried to shut my mouth the way my eyes were pressed closed but there was an ache in my body that wouldn't let me stop. And then there was that strange, looming shadow beneath my eyelids and a dark strain at the back of my throat that kept me honest. "And I know it's not the right time for this but I don't like this new… _jealousy _thing that jumps out of me when somebody comes up to you and I don't like thinking about you when there are other things I should be thinking about like my mom and how _she's _gone but it's just you and I don't know how, but when you're here with me, I find myself getting defensive and confused and sometimes I just _hate _you for it—"

I felt something brush my arm. I instantly stopped rambling and lifted my head up to see Natsume sitting down beside me with one of his legs bent and the other straight out, his head leaned back and resting against the wall we were leaning on. He didn't look at me. Instead he stared straight ahead at the adjoining living room and repeated softly, "You can't like me."

Something inside me was torn between wanting to slap him and wanting to hunker down and wallow in self-pity. Telling a guy (albeit in a roundabout way) that you think you like him and having him tell you that you _can't _or rather _shouldn't_ kind of sucked man.

Thanks for slapping me in the face, Natsume.

"Don't give me that look," I could feel the frown in his voice. "It's bad enough that you managed to find out about Aoi and a bit about my messed up family. You don't need to see anymore."

_He _was talking about messed up families? I almost snorted with disbelief. Wait until he got to know _mine. _Then he'd know _all_ about messed up.

I couldn't help myself. I scoffed at his reason. "Honestly? I don't know why you keep giving me this speech when you should know by now that I won't judge you. I'm not like that, Natsume."

"You don't even know me," he cut in sharply. "In the span of what? A month and a half, you manage to find out Aoi's secret, which I've been trying to keep blown over, you've met my _grandmother_ and practically my whole family and the relatives that know you _like _you." He breathed out in frustration and fisted a hand into his hair. "You're involved with that bastard, Akimoto, and if all of that's happened in a short amount of time, what else do you think is going to happen if you like me enough to want to be with me? You've only gotten a taste of my freak family and I don't want to involve you in any more of them."

I turned away from him and looked into the living room, ignoring the overwhelming aura of the figure beside me. I was too _pissed _to even _see _straight. "I've said this time and time again and _still, _I guess it hasn't managed to penetrate that enormously _thick _skull of yours. Natsume, _not everything is about you_. I met Akimoto before I met you! I met Aoi _before _I knew she was your sister and your _brother _for that matter. I'm sorry if you think I did all of that so that I could get to know you but the fact of the matter is that I _didn't._" I crossed my arms angrily. "And you're making it seem like I'm saying I _love _you or something. What's all of this sacrifice and protection stuff about when nothing's even serious? And even if it did get serious, it's not like things like this haven't been overcome before. All you sound like is a whiny child."

"You're wrong." His voice was hard. A minute went by before he breathed out harshly. "Akimoto went after you that day because of me."

I rolled my eyes. "Arrogance is unbecoming on you, Natsume."

"I don't _care _whether or not you think it's unbecoming if you take me _seriously_ for once!" I was startled by his outburst but he sobered up quickly, stretching his arms out to rest on his knees. His hands were clenched into tight fists, the knuckles were white with strain. He blew out a breath of dark air. "Look, obviously you haven't realized it, but Akimoto…he and I hate each other."

"No," I cut in. "I figured that out easily enough."

I could practically _feel _his skin crackling with anger and electricity after my comment. "The second time I met you, you were eating lunch with Ruka and left the table in a hurry," Natsume recounted, drumming the fingers of his left hand on his knee. "I saw Akimoto following you out and then, saw you _climbing into his car_. Don't you see it now?"

"So let me get this straight," I leaned my head against the wall. "You think, just because I was hanging out with you and your friends for less than five minutes, that Akimoto wanted to follow me and use me as his next victim just to _spite _you?" I didn't try to hide the disbelief from my voice. That was so _stupid. _Obviously Natsume had a complex with everything being about _him._

He mumbled something that I couldn't quite hear.

"What was that?"

Natsume ran a hand through his hair and repeated, "You don't believe me."

"Yeah, I don't."

There was a minute silence filled with Natsume's unrelenting frustration before he managed through clenched teeth, "Do you remember _anything _about the first time we met?"

I thought back before shrugging. "You said something about 'not biting hard', Koko threw a pineapple at Sumire and I remember lots of people laughing." I turned to look at him to see if I'd said anything that he'd expected me to.

Natsume looked frustrated to no end. "That's it? That's all you remember?" He paused for a nanosecond. "What about the people there? Did you notice who I was talking to?"

I sent him a flat look. "Natsume, there were _tons _of people there and my roommate got a pineapple thrown at her face and ran off. Do you honestly think I'd have the presence of mind to memorize everybody you were talking to? Not a stalker, remember?" I pointed at myself.

He rolled his eyes and rubbed at his temple. "So you weren't there when I won the argument against Akimoto, were you?"

I frowned, "Argument? I fail to see how that explains anything, Natsume. Honestly, I think you're over-thinking this a _little _too much. Akimoto couldn't have targeted me as a victim just like that." I snapped my fingers. "He's not _that _smart. Besides, I still don't think he'd go that far just to piss you off. I mean, we weren't even that close. The only way he'd manage to piss you off is if I was close to you, right?" He looked ready to argue when I stilled him with a glare. "But that's not the point. The point is, _you _think me being involved with you will only put me in further danger or something _else _troublesome when I don't even _care_. To be honest with you, I doubt anything can get worse than what's been going on in the last two days. And before you say something else, I'm not a baby. I am perfectly capable of dealing with my own problems and taking care of myself and if something _did _end up happening to the both of us, it's not like we couldn't make it through. I know that sounds cliché, but that's what I believe."

I breathed out shakily and crossed my arms over my knees. He didn't say anything for a long time and I felt the heat on my skin still humming with adrenaline before he hissed.

"You're so _disgustingly _naïve and _annoying_," he finally grated out angrily. "This isn't a _joke_."

He got up furiously and paced around the kitchen, eyes flashing red. "You don't even understand how naïve your stupid Snow White fantasies or _these _novels' trashy (he picked up one of my favorite Sophie Kinsella novels from the microwave) endings are!" He slammed the book on the counter and cursed darkly under his breath at the 'eep!' that left my lips. "The plot of our lives isn't about some ultimate romance. At least it isn't for me. I don't have time for mindless things like that. You're not taking any of this seriously because you have your mind set on all of this romance junk, it's almost pathetic!"

He breathed out heavily and pressed both hands against the counter, leaning his forehead against the cupboard. In a low, soft voice, he continued, "I have too many responsibilities to put first, goals to achieve and things to settle and I won't put you first. I won't make you happy."

I fought the hurt off my face rather easily before answering, "I'm not asking you to." To think he thought I was some lovesick fool… I mean, to a certain degree, I was rather hyped up on romance but… it wasn't the only thing I thought about. It kind of… disappointed me that he jumped to that conclusion so easily…

I watched as he closed his eyes warily. "And _why _is it that every time we get onto the topic of something remotely serious, you start bringing up my naivety and books?" I rolled my eyes. "So what if I'm a sucker for romance novels and happy endings? It's not like I don't expect things to go south at times. And it's not like I fantasize about rainbows and butterflies everyday." I breathed sharply, trying to regulate my temper. "God," I shook my head, "—just because I have a couple of novels in my room, everyone thinks I'm a mindless moron that has to have the perfect happily ever after or I'll crumble and die."

He snorted softly, managing to make it sound anything but barbaric. "You're not funny," he commented dryly.

"I'm not trying to be."

His jaw clenched and he opened his eyes to look over at me; I was struck with the fact that his eyes looked more onyx than red. What startled me the most, however, was the small, almost irritated smile on his lips, like he was trying to remain angry but was failing rather miserably. Was this the first time I'd seen it? His smile, I mean. It probably was, since everything else was a smirk, a sneer or some other condescending, I-am-greater-than-thou expression on his face. So damn-it-all, when I saw it, I could feel the heat of another blush on my cheeks.

"We…" he paused, thoughtful. "You want us to be…" His eyebrows furrowed as if he could smell something terrible or tasted something bitter and then, he settled on looking at me to finish his sentence. I frowned. Natsume Hyuuga, at a loss for words?

"We'll be friends," I finished resolutely. "Okay?"

He looked like he wanted to say something, disagree and say he wanted something more (or maybe that was my romantic fantasy talking) but he smirked and shook his head. With a long-suffering sigh, he groused blithely, "Do what you want."

That actually made me smile.

He turned his face away from me and I almost couldn't believe the way the back of his neck was turning a light pink.

Was he… blushing?

Before I could think about it any longer, he turned back to face me with a frown. He gestured with his head to the stove. "You should eat." He pushed himself up onto the counter and raised a brow at the startled look on my face. "Shouda said you missed breakfast and lunch."

Before I could say another word, my stomach rumbled in protest and I snorted at its traitorous bellow. "Okay, wait a sec. I'm going to call Permy to eat with us." I stopped. "You _are _going to eat, aren't you?" I looked at him curiously.

"Who made this?" he asked instead, moving to look into the tomato sauce.

"Permy did," I answered, finding great amusement in the way his upper lip curled in distaste. "Don't worry, she's a great cook compared to _me_."

"I don't even _want _to know how bad you are," he muttered caustically, spooning some sauce onto my forgotten plate. "You don't have to look for Shouda. I heard her leave earlier."

I wrinkled my nose. "She _left_? I thought she said she'd boot you out and have dinner with me…"

"You sound like you wanted her to," he scoffed, rolling his eyes at my sheepish grin. He forked some spaghetti, rolling it against the spoon before lifting it to his lips. "It's cold."

"It _was _warm." I made my way to get more pasta. "And shut up, cold spaghetti _owns _warm spaghetti."

He blinked, pausing and looking thoughtful for a moment. Then, "I like cold spaghetti." He ducked his head, eating a spoonful, ignoring the glee on my face. I couldn't help it, he was so _cute_ man! Especially since the back of his neck was turning pink…

"So…" I twirled some spaghetti around my fork, oddly content. "It's almost Halloween. Is there anything going on here? Back at my old place, the town would hold this fair where they sold the _best _treats. Oh! Have you heard of Howalons? Some people started calling them Fluff Puffs but I like calling them Howalons better. They always sell _lots _of the stuff around Halloween but if you want to get them during some other time of the year, they're _really _hard to find. Trust me." I sulked a little. "I've tried. That's why I always make a point to buy _tons _of the stuff to last me throughout the year. Too bad I ran out by February… so I'm planning on buying _triple _as much this time. Oh, and there was a haunted house that I heard was rather good, too, only I never went because…" I paused, suddenly thoughtful. "Well, I never really had many good friends back there. Of course I had my school friends but they weren't the kind of friends I'd want to bring home, you know? They were only in and out of my life so I never—"

"You talk a lot," Natsume deadpanned, twisting another forkful of spaghetti. He raised a brow, pointedly cutting me off before answering, "There's a festival held at the Tokyo square every year." He paused and gestured over his shoulder, "The school holds a dance and sells some stuff everyday a week before to raise money."

"And you buy whatever they're selling because you have school spirit, don't you Captain Hyuuga?" I teased, getting up to get us some drinks. "Do you go to any of them?"

"I don't like the sweets they sell," he answered defiantly, holding his hand out for the glass of water when I tried handing him the orange juice. "And Imai always holds her birthday party on the 30th."

"Birthday party?" I blinked. "No way! Hotaru didn't say _anything _about her birthday! How am I supposed to buy her a gift when—wait a second. When's her birthday anyway?"

"The 25th," Natsume finished his plate. "Don't bother getting her a gift. She has everything."

"I'm her _friend, _Natsume," I scoffed, pointing my fork in his direction. "Friends are allowed getting their friends a gift." I looked at his empty plate and looked pointedly in his eyes. "Get yourself some more cold pasta. It's not like there's anybody here to eat it anyway." I narrowed my eyes when he didn't move. "And don't even pretend you're full. You practically ate a whole pizza the other day."

He ignored me. "If you want to get her something so bad, just prepare some crab roe for her with a side of money. She'd like that," he scoffed with the edge of a sneer in his voice.

"That's it? I want to get her something that she can keep, and that she can look at and say, "hey, I remember for my 16th birthday, Mikan Sakura gave me that"." I hadn't noticed, but I was already setting down another plateful of spaghetti in front of him.

_Lazy ass._

"Trust me, money will do that for her."

I rolled my eyes. "She already _has _loads of money."

Natsume shrugged, knowing far too well that I was right. "Plus, my dad used to tell me that, even though it looks like somebody has everything, you should get them something anyway, just to show that you're thinking about them." I paused, then snorted at the bland gaze that Natsume directed my way. "Okay, okay, that was a lie. But he _did _say that even though there's no special occasion, it's nice to get somebody something so that they know you're thinking about them. I figured it was kind of the same thing." I grinned nostalgically. "It was when I asked him why he bought my mom flowers when it wasn't even her birthday." I raised my eyebrows at him, trying not to pay any mind to how my heart immediately sunk when I thought about Dad. "Cute, huh?"

"Fairytale circumstances," Natsume muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Cliché and sappy," he added, "Not cute."

I rolled my eyes, a little offended. "Don't be such a poop, Natsume. It's sweet." I restrained the urge to laugh at the incredulous way his eyes widened before continuing, "My dad was awesome with that kind of thing. He got me a charm bracelet when I was eight and he always added one charm on it every year for Valentine's Day because I used to tell him I felt left out when he gave my mom a present."

I laughed wistfully, rubbing at my wrist in remembrance.

"So where is it?"

My hands stilled and I forcefully put a smile on my face. "Well, I was scared of losing it after he died, so I keep it in this wooden jewelry box that he made for me. It's actually really nice, considering my dad _sucks _at anything that involves construction and home-fixing. He tried fixing the leak at our kitchen sink once and forgot to turn off the water first and ended up getting mauled in the face by a huge blast of water." I laughed affectionately, "—the idiot."

I could feel Natsume's gaze on me, but I didn't look at him. I didn't want him to see how much I still missed my dad even though a year has almost passed. It was just… the morning conversation had me thinking about him far more than usual and when I think about him too much, I start getting angsty and emo and want to write angsty and emo poetry. I changed the subject away from me, "What about your dad? Your parents?"

Instead of answering, Natsume said, "You still miss him. It's not a bad thing, you know."

My eyes settled on my hands. "Yeah, I know."

There was a pause before he continued, "What about your mom?"

I almost got whiplash from snapping my head up so fast. "What about my mom?" I asked, feigning nonchalance. He raised a brow in question and poked his fork in my direction. "And what kind of a reaction is that?"

I growled moodily and stabbed a fork at my plate. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mom but sometimes, she can be so _selfish_. I don't get her at all."

Natsume was silent, either not knowing what to say or prompting me to continue. I didn't know which but, to be honest, I didn't really care.

Because I was already telling him about it.

"So this is what happened…"

* * *

_(Earlier that morning…)_

Hotaru had barely calmed me down before the Principal started talking again.

"I didn't want you to find out this way but under the circumstances, it was necessary that you find out sooner than I'd hoped."

I didn't want to hear him. The urge to cover both ears with my hands was so strong and the emotions running through my body were so thick, I had to close my eyes and force another bout of nausea from my throat.

Questions I'd asked myself came back to me like a freight train and the answers I'd been made to swallow sent a white hot bolt of anger through my body.

How could they just _lie _to me like that?

I always thought they'd been so honest with me with everything. Mom had told me when I was seven how sick Ji-chan had been. At eight, she'd told me that he'd died. Dad had told me that my old dog had gotten run over by a truck and that it was _not _my fault even if I did leave the backdoor open. He'd also told me that he had no brothers and sisters. I'd learned very early that Santa Claus existed only in our hearts and that it'd been my _parents_ that had left both presents during Christmas and money under my pillow.

I wanted to believe that the man in front of me was lying but what would he gain from all of it? And how could I possibly deny the almost _identical_ features expressed on his and my father's faces?

"Why?" I gritted out between clenched teeth. "Then _why _weren't you at my father's funeral?"

Yukihara paused from whatever he'd been saying, the expression on his face very much akin to a deer in headlights.

"Why haven't I heard of you? Why did my father tell me that he had no brothers and sisters? Are you the _only _one?" I shot the words at him.

From my left, Hotaru's voice murmured, "Leave him some time to answer before you launch off another question."

Sumire rounded on her. "Are you _serious_!? Imai, this is the uncle she's never _heard _about! She can ask as many goddamn questions she wants!" Sumire screeched heatedly. "You know what's wrong with this situation? The fact that you lived _so _close to Mikan and how you never even felt the need to come visit her. Ever! I mean, didn't you have to meet Yuka in order to enroll her in the first place? How in the hells could you _not_ know she was attending your school and not introduce yourself? You coward!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index and forefinger. "I can explain."

"Then _explain_ to me," I hissed through gritted teeth, "—why you didn't come to my father's funeral and why I've never heard or _met _you before."

From beside me, Sumire leaned forward in her seat, Hotaru remained in hers and the principal shifted. I couldn't keep my eyes away from him for long. He looked so much like my dad, it was unnerving. The resemblance was uncanny; I could've mistaken him as my dad's _twin_—

"Our history is… complicated," he began. "I take it your father tried to hide it from you but again, under the circumstances, you've got a right to know." He fidgeted once again, his eyes not quite looking into mine. "You should know, first, that I've… always wanted to meet you."

The hand that Hotaru secured onto my thigh caught the snort that had been quickly surfacing.

"I know you don't believe that but I did," he said calmly, folding his hands atop the desk. "You see, if there was one thing Izumi and I shared, it was our interfering father. And yes, your grandfather is still alive. I wish I could say the same about your grandmother," the principal, no – my _uncle_ – replied, after I opened my mouth to ask. "My father likes to have things go his way and well, Izumi shares the same trait. When their desires clashed, Izumi liked to make certain that he got his way. He only rarely ever won against our father. For one matter, the most important one, I'd like to think, Izumi won out, though. And when he did, father wasn't pleased. All contact with Izumi had been cut off and I'd tried, for a while, to get a hold of him, but my father has a greater influence than I ever could." His expression turned grave. "This made searches for Izumi rather difficult. Eventually, I stopped looking. I figured the old man would get over Izumi's betrayal sooner or later. Turns out, the old coot was more stubborn than I thought."

I saw red. "Betrayal? What betrayal? My dad would _never _betray anyone, especially family!" I couldn't control it. My father? A traitor? I didn't bother hiding the snort of dismissal. He called himself my dad's _brother _when in truth, he didn't know a _thing…_

I raised my brows at him, but he hadn't reacted or moved an inch from his seat. Instead, he said patiently, "I understand the fact that this is all very perplexing for you (perplexing my _ass_, I knew what was up), but our history is long and since you're very new to our… relationship, it'll take a while to explain. I'd appreciate it if we could finish before you ask your questions."

I couldn't help it. I growled at him.

"You mentioned earlier that Izumi never mentioned siblings or grandparents, right?" I nodded. "Well, the reason for that can be explained by the … complexities of the Yukihara family." I wanted to wave my arms to hurry this all along because he wasn't explaining _anything_. All he'd brought up so far was how 'difficult' and 'complicated' and 'complex' everything was. Well it sure wasn't getting any _less _complex if he didn't explain anything, did it?

"The Yukihara family is an old one, with old aristocrats and philosophers and crafty company CEOs and high-end country club owners. It all sounds stupid when I put it like this, but my father, your grandpa Yukihara, likes keeping the name high and mighty. He likes having us be the talk of the city, have our name be respected and revered and envied. He wanted his sons to hold the Yukihara name like he did. He wanted his sons to act like their classy, wealthy father. I held up the position perfectly and for the most part, Izumi did as well.

"You don't know this," he stated casually, "—but I am quite a few years older than Izumi. Twelve years, to be exact. By the time he was hitting his prime, I was getting out of mine. My father took his time to mold me, to dig the Yukihara beliefs into me. He made me into the perfect son. But… that was only until Izumi hit the age of fifteen."

He smiled nostalgically, but it only held a small part of the shine that my father's smile had. "You should know this as well as I do, but Izumi had quite the charm. My father had always paid me more attention than him, because at the time, I was the successful son that needed the teachings of the high class. He wanted me to get a wife, too. Preferably the daughter of the biggest company around at the time so that our companies could expand with each other's influence.

"So while I was being hoisted around the country, Izumi had free reign to do as he pleased, the way I never could. He went to shabby, home-owned restaurants and played video games with his friends. I even heard he had some kind of gang, but they were harmless especially because Izumi was leader. He did whatever tricks you did with motorcycles and went wherever he wanted with it. It wasn't rare to come home to find nicks and bruises on his face and nasty scars up and down his legs," he sounded wistful. "He never did learn to slow down…"

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows. My father? A fast driver? He had always driven at a snails pace whenever I was in the car…

"But I married to the Shinkawa daughter when I turned twenty-seven, effectively tying both of our companies together and then, it was your father's turn." He chuckled lightly, "He actually _did _take the world by storm."

And despite the fact that I was _trying _to hate this man, I could feel the frown on my face sinking into a sad almost-smile. Damn, this was _so _my dad.

"At fifteen, he had more charisma and charm and wit than some men triple his age. Though he wasn't the _brightest_ of the Yukiharas, Izumi definitely had more suitors than the rest of us. It probably had something to do with his goofy smiles and smart comments. Or maybe it had to do with the slate grey Yukihara eyes and the fact that he stood taller than all of the living men in my family, a fact, I can assure you, he loved rubbing in my face."

The wan smile rested on his face as he continued, "But I'm certain the one thing that separated him from us the most was how much he just… cared. Oh, he was polite and gentlemanly like the rest of us, but he loved like no one I have ever seen. He could tame the most obstinate child, persuade and manipulate with the ease of a snake. He was… _cool_. He could've easily wooed the Okada girl off her feet, the girl that my father had picked out solely for him, if he wanted to. Come to think of it…" my uncle murmured, "—without even meaning to, I think he did. But…" he looked up then, with a sad smile on his face, "—Izumi only had eyes for her. The girl with the big hazely green eyes, Yuka Azumi."

He paused. "That was what I had known her as. Izumi had only let me meet her a handful of times and I never could," he threw an apologetic look in my direction, "—understand just what he found so enchanting about her (I couldn't help but feel very insulted by this). She was just an ordinary girl with large, dreamlike eyes, shy as a newborn kitten and as pale as porcelain. According to him, Yuka was fun. Yuka was bright. Yuka was _hilarious_. Yuka made him feel things. Yuka was strong. Yuka was honest. Before long, he sounded desperate, "I've got to have her" and "I love Yuka" and "She's _everything_". But for my father, that just wasn't enough. For my father, you can't just walk out of the Yukihara family."

He closed his eyes, his lips thinned into a line. "But Izumi was the first. He'd been subjected to the Okada girl's company and she just 'wasn't right' for him. If anything, that made my father even angrier. Did it matter that she wasn't perfect? You weren't supposed to not marry her because she's not right, you're supposed to marry her because that's what matters to the family. When Izumi refused, my father threatened to disown him and when he ran away to marry Yuka on his own, he _was_. I suppose that's why he adopted the 'Sakura' last name. That was my mother's maiden name, you see. Though the Sakuras don't have a big name like the Yukiharas, they are known for their military weapon's empire.

"As you can probably tell, I wasn't well informed with his matters after he left to marry Yuka." He sighed. "But there you have it. Whatever else happened, I can only guess at. Though Izumi _did _have a strong liking to our company's business – we mass manufacture cars – his talents _were _refined to the arts and I…I learnt of his paintings just recently. There are several that actually hang in my father's study, though it was _my _uncle that told me about them, not the old man. I was happy to hear it. That just means he was _one _happy man when he left the family."

"Why do you say that?" I asked in a whisper.

He smiled kindly, "For one, he married the girl of his dreams. Second, he had a job that had no rules and regulations, which let him do what he wanted. Izumi never cared much for rules, as you can see…" He chuckled, low and deep. "And last," Uncle paused, searching my eyes, "—he had a beautiful daughter. Figures his love for tangerines would leave him to name his first daughter after it."

There was a long-suffering silence with Sumire shifting just the slightest, and it wasn't until she moved that I realized her hand was on my thigh, just as Hotaru's was as well.

"When did you… find out about my father's death?" I asked after a while, clasping and unclasping my hands in my lap. "And you still didn't answer my earliest question. Why weren't you there at my father's funeral?"

A pained expression made its way onto his face before the area around his eyes tightened once more. "Two months after he died," he replied in a strained, soft voice. "Your grandfather had me out of the country on an errand for our company when he died and I wasn't notified about it until I'd come back."

"But he knew about it, didn't he? My grandfather?" I asked sullenly, feeling the back of my throat itch. "I just don't _get _it! His son _dies _and he doesn't have the decency to come to the funeral? Or tell you about it? Did he tell you everything then? I bet not, because he sounds like a stubborn _fool_! God, why is my family so messed up?!"

His voice was but a croak, "I'm sorry."

"Did you know?" I asked in a softer voice. "Did he tell you where I lived after my dad died?"

After hesitating, he replied, "Yes."

"Then why didn't you come? Why didn't you come for us then?" I felt like crying now.

He didn't answer for the longest time and I looked away from his familiar grey eyes, feeling the back of my eyes burn. "What right did I have to come?" He replied quietly. "I haven't been a part of your life _ever_ whether in words or in person. What could I have said? What could I have done?"

"You could've _told _me!" I was yelling now. "You could've told me the truth! Do you know how many people have _lied _to me now? It _sucks_."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry," he returned softly. "Your mother—"

I stopped, midway out of my seat and my stomach dropped to my feet again. I'd forgotten all about my mother. Well, this just made _everything _better, didn't it?

"Your mother came to me one day. I don't know how she managed to know where to look, but she came to the school and asked me to take you from her for a time. She would be touring, she said. My wife reads her books, they're quite … opinionated, though I don't quite understand how she was able to write them when Izumi was her husband." He took a letter from his desk drawer and slid it across the table, "I don't know how you two handled it after Izumi died, but your mother just couldn't take it anymore. She wrote this to me, and I will gladly handle anything that you require in a guardian. She just needs a break from everything, to get past this episode in her life, if you can understand."

I didn't, but I figured he'd surmised that when I stood up and left.

-;-

_I know we aren't well acquainted with each other, but you were – are – the only one that remotely approved of Izumi's actions. I no longer have any relatives and you were the only one I could turn to. _

_Izumi died. _

_Can you believe it? _

_Him. _

_He died. _

_I can't even wrap my mind around it. _

_I think of him a lot and sometimes, I just forget that Mikan is even there. Mikan – she's your niece. I'm sure you've never heard of her. I haven't been responsible for a while. Hell, I'm not even in the right state of mind right now. I can bet my life on the fact that she's probably having more fun and being better taken care of at your school than she ever was with me. _

_So I'll ask you one thing, will you take her?_

_I don't plan to leave for long and I can pay for all of her expenses._

_Please._

_-Yuka_

-;-

I didn't look at him, even as I heard the telltale signs of him folding the letter back on itself. I didn't know why I showed it to him. Hell, I didn't even know why I _told _that to him. There was just something about Natsume that made me trust him, trust him to understand that if he thought his family was screwed up, he obviously wasn't the only one.

And I missed him, my dad. I could never tell my mother because earlier, when I had, she just broke down and cried and I did everything that I could. I held her and told her it was okay and eventually, she would stop but…

But what about _me_?

Sometimes I wanted to cry and talk about it and cry some more but with my mom, it was just _impossible _to feel sorry for myself when I felt so sorry for her. She'd loved him a hell of a lot, it was almost nauseating to see them together but I'd always been glad that they were like that. Together. So when he died…

She lost it.

This was just a testament to the fact that life just _sucked_.

"Shit," I heard him curse. For a second, that surprised me, I'd almost forgotten he was there.

But then, I felt them. I didn't know I was crying until I felt them, tears dribbling from my chin onto the hands that were clasped tightly in my lap. It was embarrassing, how much I was crying. I didn't sob or wail or anything because I knew how awkward it would make him feel. Instead, I let the tears slowly slide down my face and pulled my knees up and covered my eyes with my hands. And I thought about him, and how he used to look at me with that concerned, disapproving expression on his face, saying, _Mikan, you look better with a smile on your face._

And when he said that, I would stop immediately because who wanted to be ugly anyway? It was that charm of his again. Kazu said himself that my dad was as manipulative as a snake and persuasive, too.

But I couldn't _stop _this time.

He wasn't here, after all…

So I cried.

Natsume didn't wipe my tears away and he didn't say that everything was going to be okay.

But he wrapped one strong arm around my shoulders and let me cry.

That… that was enough.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

When I planned the chapter, it was _supposed_ to be called "Here is Gone" from the Goo Goo Dolls, but when I finished writing the chapter, I figured "Stay With You" by the same band suited it more.

**Question answered.**

**Why is Natsume a playboy? [IMPORTANT TO READ!!]  
**

Um, he's not. This has been bugging me for quite some time because many have been given the impression that Natsume is a playboy and he's not, or at least, that's not what I intended him to be. I've been told that the beginning of the story gave off that impression and I'm sorry you guys were disillusioned into thinking that. To get this straight, Natsume isn't a playboy. The reason as to why he paid attention to Mikan at the beginning wasn't because she was pretty or whatnot, it was because **Akimoto** started paying attention to her. If you remember, the first time Mikan met Natsume, it was when Sumire, Hotaru and her went to get some stuff to eat and everybody was crowding around their table. Akimoto and Natsume both get a first glimpse at her then.

The second time they meet, Mikan is eating lunch with Hotaru, Sumire and Ruka and then Natsume comes up and she rushes to the library to get away from him, where she meets Akimoto, who drives her to the library. I THOUGHT it was kinda obvious, but no one questioned why Natsume appeared to be following her. To put it simply, he saw Mikan getting into Akimoto's car. Is this starting to make some sense? Akimoto drugged up his sister. Natsume doesn't want that happening to every girl, much less his cousin's roommate.

This is the point where Natsume has been paying her more attention, which readers have thought was because he was interested in her. I let this belief go on, in hopes that it'd clear up later on when he **clearly **starts behaving more seriously and maturely but it's only helped make everyone more confused. He's been watching out for her, but he didn't like her **in that way** for the first ten chapters (ish). Sure, he teased her, but I'm sure most of us out there have friends of the opposite gender that don't like us in that way that tease us mercilessly. I think the point where he realized she was more than someone to look out for was on Chapter 13 and only strengthened in this chapter [18].

I hope this clears up a thing or two and I'll start revising chapters to make this a little more clear.

OH! I forgot to thank **lalalaniebug** for correcting me about the swimming thing. I really appreciate it and I'll fix it once the story is done.

If there are anymore questions to clear up, please state them in your reviews and I'll get to them immediately.

* * *

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	19. Watch the Sky

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice and trust, it's probably a good thing. :)  
**  
Dedication: **_The readers_. :) Because I know it took me a long time and you guys were really (_greatatpretendingtobe!) _patient. ;) and IndigoGrapeFruit for being my 1800th reviewer! Geez guys, this is un_real_. :D

**Note: **For some reason, I posted this last night but by this morning, I got reviews and PMs telling me that the chapter would only show a blank page with Gateway Error on it so I ended up taking the chapter down, going to school and posting it after I came home. HOPEFULLY it works for everyone now. I'm sorry for the confusion. I'm confused myself. :S

-;-

_And I've been up for days, I finally lost my mind and then I lost my way._

_I'm blistered but I'm better and I'm home._

_And I will crawl, there's things that aren't worth giving up, I know._

_But I won't let this get me, I will fight._

_You live the life you're given with the storms outside, _

_Some days all I do is watch the sky._

_"Watch the Sky" - **Something Corporate**_

**Chapter 19: Watch the Sky**

It had been two nights.

Two nights since I'd cried.

Two nights since I'd told Natsume.

Two nights since I'd found out about my uncle, about my grandfather, about my _parents_.

And two nights since I'd found out just how messed up my life was.

It had been two nights, and I _still _couldn't get those things out of my mind. If I was being honest with myself, though, I could say it felt… _better_ after having told Natsume about it all. Even though I'd been feeling like someone from _up there _was having a hell of a good time making me go through all of these trials for the past few weeks, the load on my shoulders had lessened, somewhat.

Maybe I was just happy I wouldn't have to fight against Natsume anymore. The confusion of mixed feelings, the stress of having to avoid him and my denial were just a couple of things I didn't have to worry about now that I'd told him straight up and thrown it right into the open.

I liked him.

I _liked _Natsume.

For some reason, saying it now didn't scare me as much as it did three days ago. I felt like I could _shout _it, if I wanted to. Obviously I didn't feel like it right now but after that night two nights ago, liking him was just… easy. I'm surprised it took me so long to realize just how human he was.

To be honest, I didn't remember much from that night. The one memory that _had _been able to survive was the one where I managed to get snot and tears all over my hands and having Natsume see it all. And… that Natsume ended up staying with me the whole time. It was embarrassing, now that I thought about it. I didn't remember if I'd ended up crying all over _him _at one point, but even if I did, he didn't say a word. All he did was sit there, with a stiff arm around my shoulders, and let me do whatever I needed.

He'd stayed for a while, or at least, long enough for Sumire and Hotaru to get home, take one look at me and kick him out. He'd practically run for the door, but not before swiping at the stream of tears collecting at my chin and patting me on the head. He didn't say it'd be okay. He didn't say things would get better from here. He didn't say much, actually.

Then again, I never expected him to.

One thing I could expect from Natsume was to be a man of little words. He talked big and arrogant when things weren't serious, but when they were, he wasn't going to lie and tell me things I wanted to hear. With Natsume, I could trust him to be honest.

I think I might appreciate his honesty the most.

Still, the thought of him sitting there with me, letting me _finally _let everything out and not asking any questions (because God _knew_ I'd probably blow a blood vessel if he did), made me trust him. It made me feel like I could have said anything in that moment and he wouldn't have judged me.

I may have confessed that I liked him to his face, only to have him totally shoot me down, but the one thing that relieved me the most was the fact that even though things could have gone awkward and he could've been a coward and run off…

…he didn't.

Natsume stayed.

And he listened and he was there when I needed him to be and if anything, I was glad that he was there for me, as a friend.

Which was probably why I'd taken to looking at him, pretending to be absorbed in listening to my Ipod and reading. He, on the other hand, was looking out the window, not really paying attention to how Luna was trying to help him practice his lines by reading out Sumire's.

_Sumire…_

Speaking of which, she'd left our dorm before I'd even woken up and hadn't bothered going to school. Briefly, I wondered why. Though Luna had boldly stated how she'd 'persuaded' the board of trustees to give her the lead female role in the "Beauty and the Beast", her influence hadn't worked. She remained _Juliet's nurse_ in _"_Romeo and Juliet_"_ and judging by the way Koko flounced in and practically snarled at her for thinking she could take Sumire's role, I thought there was a very large chance _Koko's _influence had saved Sumire her part.

Not that she really knew, I don't think.

If anything, we were dancing.

We were standing on thin ice as it was and everybody seemed to be dancing around each other, afraid to say or do something to crack the fragile surface. I knew how Koko felt. I could practically _feel _my guilt eating me up every minute I didn't tell Sumire and Hotaru about my… confession. Like Koko, I guess, I really didn't want to be the one that made us drown in deep water.

Things were already complicated as it was.

I really didn't want to be one of those girls who kept making everything worse and worse—

"Koizumi, stop."

Recognizing Natsume's blunt tone, I blinked to see Luna with her arms crossed over Natsume's desk and a one hundred watt smile on her face. "Stop what, Natsume?"

He turned away from the window and shot her a 'don't-act-like-you're-stupid' glare. Her smile didn't waver. On the contrary, she looked delighted to see she'd finally gotten his attention. She leaned closer until there was only about a foot of distance between their faces and, after catching me looking, sent me a victorious smirk.

Damn her for being so pretty.

Not going to lie but jealousy was _eating _at me from the inside out. Though I'm not a very violent person by nature, I found it startlingly difficult to quell the urge to stomp over, yank him by the arm and possibly drop kick Luna down the stairs.

Liking someone _sucked_, especially when that person didn't like you back an—

Natsume's tone was firm. "Stop looking at me. Stop talking to me. Stop pretending you even want to help me," Natsume drawled coolly. "It would be in your best interests to stop this obsession you have for me and get lost. Find someone else to bother."

I snorted and hid behind my book, but even _then _I could feel the dark glare she directed in my direction. Looking over the cover, I could see her beginning to whisper something to him. Curiosity getting the best of me, I lowered the volume of my Ipod to zero and listened.

"—believe you. Do you realize what you're saying?"

The bland look on his face told her that _yes_, he _did _realize what he was saying.

She huffed and tried again.

I hid behind my book.

"Give me a reason. Why? Why don't you like me? I've never _done _anything to you! I… just… why?"

There was a long, long pause as everyone in the class continued doing what they were doing. Either doing the assignment Narumi had assigned us, practicing their lines, whatever… they were all _completely _unaware this exchange was occurring. I felt kind of bad, like I shouldn't be eavesdropping but…

…okay, so I had no legitimate reason to be eavesdropping—

Natsume's voice broke into my thoughts. "You've never done anything to change."

"I shouldn't _have _to change!" Luna hissed, almost as if she were hurt. "You should like me as I am! Everybody else likes me the way I am (I was too focused on the conversation to laugh), why don't you?"

I could hear him sigh softly. "I'm not like most of the guys here, Koizumi. I'm not going to like someone for their looks."

There was a pause, before she asked, "So you admit I'm pretty?" She sounded more arrogant than hopeful.

He didn't answer. Instead, he returned, "You're not a nice person."

She huffed again. "But I'm nice to _you_. You should feel special that I don't treat anybody as nice as I treat you," she almost sounded offended. "It's not even because you're handsome. Well, that's got something to do with it. But you're smart and you're athletic and mysterious and like… perfect. I know I'm not perfect but I'm almost there, I'm so close to you, I could touch you if I wanted to. Don't you think we might have something _worthy _of trying for, at least? Don't you think we could be amazing together?" She sounded almost desperate at this moment and I never thought I'd see the day Luna Koizumi _begged _someone. It was a hard pill to swallow but… maybe she really _did _care about Natsume. Maybe she wasn't actually just in it for the popularity and the shallowness like I'd originally thought.

Maybe she was in it for love.

I craned my neck just the slightest because I couldn't hear a _thing _they were talking about. Had I missed something?

"Don't you think we match, even just a little?"

"No… We don't."

And I know I have no reason to feel sorry for her but even though she was rude and mean and mocked my friends and used to make me shiver every time someone mentioned her name, she sounded like she genuinely liked him. Something like that I could empathize with. Hearing her small, almost insecure voice asking him to explain to her made me believe she might be human after all.

"Why _not_," she said, almost angrily. "We're both smart and popular and pretty and rich—"

"Those things have nothing to do with me," Natsume cut her off firmly. "If you want me to be honest, I'll be honest. I don't like you. I don't think I could _ever _like you, with the way you're going. Some may think your looks are enough to hide your ugly personality but that's not going to cut it for me. At the rate you're going, I doubt we could ever be… whatever you desperately want us to be. I even find the very idea of being _friends _with you hard. So if you honestly think I'm the type of person to care about you being pretty enough to match me, or to care about your popularity and whatever other superficial little thing you think we have in common, then you're even more of a plebian than I originally thought."

The coldness of his remarks made a shiver go down my spine.

And when the bell rang, I was so intent on listening, the book hiding me flew out of my hands when I jumped.

I gathered my books and things in silence and threw them in my bag in time to hear one last, lingering comment.

"You're going to regret saying that."

* * *

After rehearsal in the theatre, Koko, Ruka, Hotaru and I left for Burger King. It was only a quarter after five and already, the sun was setting. I wondered, briefly, how on Earth the soccer team would be able to see _anything _at practice in an hour or two.

"Ugh, rehearsal is getting _so _old," Koko whined. "I'm tired of having to memorize lines and going to practice after dinner and waking up _early _for swim practice and my grades are dropping—" He groaned and kicked the school door open. It swung open, hit the rail with a _bang!_ and swung back to a close. "I never have time for anything else anymore and oh God—Mum is going to _kill _me if I don't pass all of my classes this semester! I swear people say time flies when you're having fun but _HOMEWORK IS NOT FUN._ _THE STRESS IS KILLING ME, I DON'T KNOW HOW NATSUME DOES IT BUT HE'S A DAMN ROBOT ANYWAY SO MUM, YOU SHOULDN'T COMPARE ME TO HIM—_"

"Nogi," Hotaru grumbled lowly, effectively cutting him off.

Ruka turned with a wry smile on his face, took Hotaru's bag and clasped their hands together. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with him too," Ruka said. He turned to shoot Koko a wry grin. "Koko, shut up. Natsume and I will make sure you don't fail… again."

Koko visibly brightened before swinging his backpack onto his shoulder and jumping down the last four steps entirely, landing melodramatically onto one knee. "Tut, I have lost myself. I am not here! This is not Romeo, he is some other where!"

Hotaru scoffed, raising a hand to push back her bangs. Her violet eyes narrowed dangerously before she murmured in a low voice, "You are _not _going to recite "Romeo and Juliet" lines outside of this theatre, do you understand me? It's bad enough I have to suffer through rehearsals of both English plays after school everyday. I am _not _going to be forced to listen as you mouth off random lines that—"

She was promptly ignored when Ruka began filling in for Benvolio's lines with a boyish, playful grin on his lips. I didn't miss the extra squeeze he gave her hand though or the way she rolled her eyes almost affectionately.

Koko was walking backwards now, one hand on his chest, acting much like Narumi in class. It was almost funny, his nature at the moment, outside of theatre walls. It was, however, hard to deny just how _good _he was at acting. He had the emotion down easily and when it came to the playful scenes of the play, it was almost like watching Leonardo in the movie, only _better_. He was so… natural_._

To quote Narumi-sensei, Koko practically _lived _the words, could breathe them in his sleep and could say it all backwards with how well he rehearses when on stage. At first, I'd been intimidated when I'd been facing him, reading off my lines while he looked me in the face, the script forgotten in his hands as he recited them _perfectly_. Now, I was glad to have such a strong partner to learn from. If anything, if it wasn't for Koko's encouraging nature and tips on acting, and even the random one-on-one practices at lunch, I wouldn't have been able to remember _half _of my lines.

"—makes huge waste, for beauty starved with severity cuts beauty off from all posterity." Koko sighed almost wistfully, turning around and walking in the right direction. He clenched his fists to his sides. "She is too fair, too wise… wisely too fair, to merit bliss by making me despair. She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow, do I live dead that live to tell it now." His voice trailed off solemnly and I couldn't help but swallow with difficulty.

He was _really _good.

I didn't even know what to _say _because for some reason, a harsh, tense silence had fallen upon us and… well… to be honest, I couldn't really understand the look of whimsical resignation on his face.

Finally, Ruka muttered softly, "Be ruled by me, forget to think of her."

Koko laughed bitterly, throwing an almost wounded look over his shoulder. "O, teach me how to forget to _think_."

I smiled, ignoring the dark scowl on Hotaru's face.

"By giving liberty upon thine eyes; examine other beauties," Ruka suggested, making Hotaru scoff in the process. Ruka sent her a grin before looking at Koko who merely pasted a quick, strained smile on his lips. A short moment passed but I _knew _Koko hadn't forgotten his lines. After all, this was the first scene he'd had memorized. When the silence started to stretch and just when I was about to make a fool of myself by saying them for him, Koko replied in a low voice,

"Oh yeah, because I haven't tried _that _before."

But that wasn't the line.

Koko was walking up ahead, and, not wanting to ask aloud in case he heard, I sent Ruka a curious glance. When he saw, he only lifted his shoulders in a shrug and mouthed a word. Just one word.

…

…

Shouda.

_-;-_

Burger King was bustling with Alice students everywhere. It was a pretty big fast food joint, probably expanding because of the influx of students coming in between classes and after school for a quick bite to eat. When we arrived, it took a good ten minutes to buy our meals and find the table tucked away in the back of the joint where Natsume sat, listening to Kitsuneme with Sumire tinkering with her Blackberry by the side.

Koko almost bounced to claim the seat next to her.

She barely blinked to acknowledge him, and only stuffed her phone back into her purse to say stiffly, "What the hell took you so long? I texted you a million times!"

"Me?" I pointed at myself.

"Yes, you," Sumire rolled her eyes, running a hand through her mane of thick black hair. "Do you _not _check your phone at all?"

I fished the offending phone from my pocket and held it up, black screen and all. "Sorry, it was off." I turned it on and punched in the code before the picture of my dad popped up as my background picture.

My heart kind of softened when I looked at it.

**9 unread messages from Sumire Shouda**

Ha, oops.

Before I could comment, Sumire cleared her throat. "So I've heard something funny and I wanted to ask because I'm _certain _one of you will know the truth."

My heart beat raced. My stomach almost immediately plummeted and I couldn't help but think that she'd found out about my confession to Natsume from somebody else. I was feeling sick just _thinking _about the wounded looks and the guilt that would intensify if she'd found out from anybody but me. I knew how she felt about trusting people and I knew how she would see this.

She would think I'd betrayed her, and to be honest, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

I stole a quick glance at Natsume who raised a questioning eyebrow. My heart was pounding in my ears and I almost deflated when I turned back to look at Sumire, and caught Hotaru's curious gaze on me. Her eyes bore into mine and I quickly looked away to swallow.

That girl was far too observant for her own good.

Sumire swallowed whatever was in her mouth before asking, "Is it true the plays will be performed two weeks before Christmas?"

Before the question had even left her lips, I could feel myself almost collapse with relief.

Natsume, who was sitting between Kitsuneme and Ruka, reached over to my plate for a fry. My reflexes weren't fast enough to catch his wrist before he popped the fry into his mouth. Inwardly, I seethed. He _knew _French fries were my soft spot. It didn't matter if I liked him or not, there was _no _way he'd be able to get away unscathed the next time 'round. _Why I outta_—he looked up with amusement in his eyes and I shielded my tray, bringing my fries closer to me.

"Creep," I hissed at him.

He smirked and something about his expression challenged me.

I huffed.

"Narumi told the class they'd be performed two weeks after New Years," Natsume drawled suddenly, looking at Sumire.

Hotaru shrugged. "He decided to change it. I overheard him say he didn't want the play too close to February or we'd be too distracted by the play to study for finals."

"I can't say I blame him," Ruka nodded thoughtfully, putting his arm out to stop a fry headed in Hotaru's direction. Hotaru pulled down his arm and glared heatedly in Koko's direction. The fry Koko had in between his thumb and forefinger stilled before he settled meekly in his seat and threw Hotaru a sheepish smile.

"Sorry… bad aim on my part."

Ruka continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "He's been keeping me busy every day after school until six watching all of your rehearsals and managing some things that will be going on behind the scenes and well… with that and soccer practice, I've been getting behind in school…" His hand came up to rub the back of his neck and he barely caught the can of pop sailing through the air.

"Wha—oh… uh… thanks Koko."

Hotaru looked like she wanted to smack him with a potted plant.

Koko grinned sheepishly. "You looked like you needed it."

"Why don't you tell him straight up that you need time to do school work?" Natsume leaned back in his seat and looked at Ruka. "He can't make you do anything."

"He's not _making _me do anything," Ruka reassured quickly. "It's just… you know how I am. When someone asks me to do something…"

"You suck it up and do it," Hotaru cut in smoothly, smirking at the way his ears reddened. "Really Nogi, asking for a day off isn't so hard."

Without even seeming to notice what she said, Ruka tossed the lettuce away from his burger before taking a bite. "Now that I think about it, I'll just work after dinner and get all of my work done then," Ruka shrugged. "It's no big deal. Besides, he doesn't give me any homework, really. When I think about it, I can work around soccer and school if I didn't slack off after dinner."

"Everyone slacks off after dinner!" Koko gasped, mock astonished. "Are you skipping out on male bonding time…? Blasphemy!"

"Male bonding time?" Kitsuneme perked up. "Why haven't I heard about this? Koko, what the hell? You always used to invite me to male bonding time!"

I felt the atmosphere around us shift and the three roommates glanced at each other before Koko lightened up and cracked a grin. "My bad, bud. You can come tomorrow night." Kitsuneme visibly cheered up before going to the table over to see some friends and causing loud, rambunctious laughter.

I frowned. "So… you guys have male bonding after dinner everyday? What does male bonding entail?"

"Oh no," Koko put his hands up and shook his head. "We call it 'male' bonding for a _reason, _Mikan. You know I love you and you _know_ I love hanging _out _with you but this is where the line is _drawn, _friend. Between after dinner and whenever Natsume feels like it, it's _male _time." He laughed at the expression of distaste on my face before leaning into the table and stage whispering. "Why, Mikan-_chan_? Did you want to come over and hang out with us?" He leaned back with a handsome, boyish grin on his face before saying arrogantly, "Well, let's be honest. You're really only in it for me, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, of _course_. I only dream of you every night and every second I'm in your presence, I'm restraining myself from jumping all over you," I said in a neutral voice. I took a bite from my burger and jumped when I felt Natsume's arm settle on the back of my chair and it was only then that I realized he'd moved over when Kitsuneme had left. I turned to him in alarm and narrowed my eyes at the blank expression on his face. "What do you want?"

He blinked and nodded toward my tray. "I'm still hungry."

Instantly, I stiffened and inched my tray further away from him. I narrowed my eyes at the look of determination on his face.

I couldn't help it, I hissed at him. "Don't even _think _about it. Go buy yourself something else to eat, rich boy. _My _food."

Ruka snickered and Koko grinned before reaching over the table to join in on the fun. "Why don't you _share, _Mikan-chaaaan?" My stomach plummeted when he actually _grabbed _the _whole _box and chugged down the rest of my fries like they were nothing.

And then, I was _filled _with inexplicable rage.

Red.

_Everywhere_.

"Mikan," said Hotaru with amusement. "Calm down."

_Calm down? _I opened my mouth, closed it, opened it and then closed it again. I sat back in my seat and sulked. "You guys are _so _mean. You guys are _rich_! Go buy your own food!"

"Nah," Koko sucked the salt off his finger with a _pop!_ "It's much more fun teasing you. Right Permy?"

I pouted and looked at Sumire to see her already looking at me with a neutral expression on her face. "Yeah. _Loads_ of fun." She blinked and then looked down (with what I _thought _might be guilt in her eyes) before she settled her gaze on Hotaru and asked, "So your birthday's in a week. What were you planning?"

My gaze flew to Hotaru. "HEY! You told Permy and you didn't tell _me_? Why?"

"Because she's not making a big deal about it," Hotaru replied without skipping a beat. "And neither am I, frankly. If it weren't for my parents, I wouldn't even _have _a party. It's a waste of money."

"Money," I scoffed. "Like you need to care about _that_. So… what are you planning?"

Hotaru blinked, taking her time to pat her lips with a handkerchief she extracted from her pocket before folding it together and placing it on the table. "It's on a Monday this year. Since my parents will probably be planning to do something on the 30th again, I'll probably just rent the penthouse suite at Tokyo Plaza and have you there."

Koko, who had been in the middle of telling Ruka something, jerked his head up and choked on his drink. "You're going to a hotel with Ruka?"

"What?" Ruka looked startled. "You're taking me to a hotel?" Ruka asked curiously, taking a sip out of Hotaru's Diet Sprite. She sent him a dark scowl before rolling her eyes. "Like I'd be stupid enough to do something like _that_," she returned listlessly. "We're sixteen, Nogi. I'm not going to have sex with you at sixteen with my roommates in the room."

"Your roommates?" Ruka looked confused. There was even a faint tinge of pink on his cheekbones when he continued in a whisper, "Sex?"

There was a faint silence before Sumire broke it with a snort and I followed with a loud guffaw. Before we knew it, the whole table was in tears of laughter. Natsume was even smirking, punching a blushing Ruka in the shoulder and Hotaru looked to be having a difficult time swallowing a smirk of her own.

"Smooth, Ruka," said Natsume.

"Sh—shut up." He turned back to look at his girlfriend, with the tips of his ears slowly turning to their normal color, before asking, "What were you saying about a hotel?"

Hotaru rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter. You're not invited."

"What? Why?"

"Because."

Ruka looked like he wanted to ask 'because _why_?' but Hotaru looked at him firmly and he settled into his seat with a sigh before taking her hand. "Just the two of you," Hotaru directed her gazes at Sumire and me. "We'll have a—"

"—girls night out?" Sumire cut in.

"—sentimental gathering?" I piped in. Sumire winked at me when Hotaru sighed with annoyance, then froze and promptly looked away.

I _really _didn't know what was up with her.

Hotaru's lips thinned. "Something like that."

Sumire leaned back in her seat with a satisfied look on her face. _"Excellent."_

For some reason, that sent a shiver down my spine.

Koko yawned loudly, flopping one of his arms none too subtly onto Sumire's shoulders. "Geez, I'm beat. It's been a long day." Sumire glared at his arm, but made no move to shove it off. Instead she twisted her body around and flicked his Adam's apple. She smirked when he choked. "You're an idiot," she remarked easily.

He merely rubbed his neck and grinned.

"Speaking of long days," Ruka muttered, glancing at his phone, "—we're going to be late for soccer practice if we don't get out of here." He looked over to Natsume and raised a brow. "And you were supposed to be at the field ten minutes ago. Persona's going to have your ass."

Natsume shifted and shrugged his shoulders. "Persona's always been a slave driver anyway. If anything, Persona doesn't care about what I do as long as we win our games." Even with that said, he got up from his chair, his hand brushed against my shoulder blade for the faintest of seconds, and pocketed his hands. "Let's go."

We headed to the exit with me in the lead until someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I was startled to see Sumire's irked expression in my face. "Mikan, wait," she muttered lowly. She nodded to the side and glared, "Look."

I looked and swallowed when I saw Akimoto and Luna sitting together at a table. They were smiling (rather mischievously) at Natsume and Ruka who, I only noticed, had stopped and were wearing neutral expressions on their faces.

"What's going on?" I asked when I'd walked back.

"Oh, Mikan-chan's here too? Did you all just come together?" Akimoto asked, with a slightly wounded expression on his face. "Why wasn't I invited?" He turned and settled his startling sea foam eyes in my direction. "Mikan, I thought we were friends."

"Friends," I murmured blandly, trying to fight the urge to not walk up to the table and shove the glass of pop down his throat so that he crapped glass for the rest of his life. "I wouldn't go so far as to say we're friends. I barely even _know _you."

A wide grin settled on his lips before he leaned forward onto the table. "Well, you _could _get to know me… if you really wanted to…"

"She doesn't," Natsume returned stiffly, stepping a little in front of me.

Luna narrowed her eyes and tapped her (green) fingernails on the table. "Why ever not, Natsume-_kun_? Why don't you let Sakura-san answer for herself? Hitoshi-kun's quite a catch, after all. He even gives _you _a run for your money in that department. He could be Sakura's perfect match."

I frowned.

"Except he's a total man-whore." I turned to blink wide eyes at Hotaru who, for the most part, usually kept quiet and watched as things proceeded, liking it better to remain in the background to glean information before striking without actually being a part of things. Hearing her say that almost unhinged my jaw.

Akimoto and Luna both shifted their gazes to Hotaru, and Ruka took her hand, probably by reflex. "Imai-san," Akimoto inclined his head politely. "If I remember correctly, your birthday is quickly approaching? I hope to receive another invite to your memorable birthday bash this year."

Hotaru snorted and her gaze was cold. "Not likely."

Without looking ruffled and without skipping a beat, Akimoto clasped his hands together. "What a shame. I was rather looking forward to it," Akimoto replied smoothly, shifting his gaze back to me. I felt Natsume move before I saw him inch his body closer to hide me a little better from Akimoto's view. Clearly amused, Akimoto looked up at Natsume and said, "Do you mind? You're blocking my view."

Natsume's voice was hard. "Look at somebody else."

"You want me to look at you?" Akimoto blinked innocently before letting a smirk grace his features. "I'm sorry, Hyuuga. I'm not into Y chromosomes. If you're interested, though, Luna tells me that new Nendo kid would probably be interested."

Luna giggled lowly and I never thought I'd say (or think) it, but I preferred her arrogant cackles to one of _those. _Her low giggle was so… I didn't even know how to describe it. It sounded like trouble. I swallowed when Natsume's body heat instantly sharpened. Even the back of his neck was starting to turn pink again. "Clever," Natsume drawled monotonously. "But I'm not the one who dates a bunch of bimbos to cover up the fact that I'm actually more bendy than straight."

Akimoto colored and from behind me, Koko grunted his approval.

"Funny," Akimoto riposted, "—says the jealous _virgin_."

Holy frick.

I could practically _feel _Natsume rolling his eyes, even though his neck was still pink from either anger or embarrassment. "Would you get over yourself?" Ruka snapped in a furious voice. "Honestly, it sounds as if you're obsessed with Natsume or something. For once, get _over _yourself. If anybody's jealous here, it's _you._"

"What do I need to be jealous of _him _for?" Akimoto questioned, already sounding bored. "I'm everything he is, except everyone likes me better," he commented without a trace of modesty, unabashed and unashamed. He turned his gaze over to me and his eyes visibly brightened. "What do you think, Mikan? Don't you think _I'm _the coolest?"

"You've got to admit," Luna piped in coolly, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger, "Hitoshi's got the good looks, the money, the smarts, the popularity, the athletics _and_ the personality. Hell, he's polite, he's even _nice _and he doesn't turn a girl down because she won't _change_," she directed this squarely at Natsume. "If you ask me, Hitoshi's _definitely _the better catch. He's the whole package."

"Then maybe you should marry him and have a bunch of devil babies," Sumire threw in caustically. She wrinkled her nose and playfully gagged. "Actually, scratch that. The idea of either of you reproducing makes me worry about the next generation. I'd probably be rolling around in my grave if I find out you've spread your herpes around the world."

Luna colored but Akimoto put a restraining hand on her arm and settled against his seat with a sigh. "You never _did _answer the question, Mikan."

Luna and him both pinned their blue eyes on me and I shifted, my blood pumping loudly in my ears. Whether it was because I was angry or nervous, I really didn't know. I _was _really pissed that they had those shit-eating expressions on their faces though.

"Sakura?" Luna drawled. "I'm assuming we can take your silence as confirmation?"

"Do you even know what that word _means_?" Hotaru grumbled.

Before Luna could interrupt, I moved up from behind Natsume and looked square into Akimoto's eyes. He looked rather pleased but I erased any thoughts about why before I frowned. "Well since you're so certain you're the coolest guy in Alice Academy, I really don't think I can take that away from you," I said truthfully. "So sure, you're the coolest guy in school."

I could hear Sumire and Koko protest in the background but I paid no mind. To be honest, if I said I thought Yuu Tobita was cooler than him, he'd probably blow a blood vessel and then deny it because his head was so disgustingly large. He could manage to convince himself of anything, I thought, as long as it made him happy.

"Hah," Akimoto smirked, looking in Natsume's direction with that shit-eating expression on his face. "Wiiiiiin."

"I'm not _done_," I clenched my jaw, waiting until his eyes settled back on me with bored resignation. "You may be the 'coolest', though I'd say it was more self-proclaimed than anything. You'd probably go around deluding yourself by saying you were the coolest anyway, so sure, think what you want. You and Natsume have always been complete opposites anyway. But," I dragged out the word when Akimoto looked ready to object, "—if you're the 'coolest'… Natsume is _definitely _the hottest. And that is _not _self-proclaimed."

Akimoto narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth but after a second, thought better of it and closed it. Luna, on the other hand, clapped her hands slowly. "Mhm, Sakura. I have to admit. I didn't see that coming. Not at all. You've always seemed to deviate away from Natsume but here you are, protecting him. How _sweet_." She leaned her chin onto the knuckles of her fist, elbows upright on the table, before she carried on, "But I feel the need to remind you, though you might not take an interest to what I'm saying. It's a warning from the 'enemy', of course, but I'd hate to be the one to say, "I told you so" when all of this ends." Her smirk was bright. "If you thought I was serious before, the truth is, I was merely playing." Her lips curved into a cruel, albeit pretty, smile. "The real game starts _now_."

-;-

"Didn't you think that was a little creepy?"

Natsume grunted but chose not to answer and I settled with sighing and lying down next to him in the grass. He'd called after soccer practice almost two hours after the confrontation to have all of us meet in his dorm to talk about Aoi. Begrudgingly, with a lot of "no's" and "absolutely nots" and "do you think this is a joke?s", Sumire was allowed to be brought along and filled in with the details.

If she hadn't really liked him before, she pretty much _hated _Akimoto now. I couldn't really say I blamed her. Even though he'd been so nice to me earlier, it was hard to see him the same way when he'd done those… those _things._

We'd all sat around in the living room with our heads together, trying to devise a way to get him to spill the beans. Our plan, at the moment, was nothing but a vague idea, at best, but we were getting _somewhere_ and even though Natsume looked ready to walk out every ten minutes, I think he appreciated the fact that we were willing to help.

As if we'd let him do all of the work alone. Pfft, sometimes that boy really needed to have a little faith in us.

"Do you think it'll work, Natsume?"

He sighed, turning his gaze away from the stars before sending me a look I really couldn't make out in the dark. It was probably a neutral look like always, anyway. "I don't know, Polka Dots," he murmured sarcastically. "It's not like I can see the future or anything."

I scowled at him, even though he probably couldn't see it. "But do you have a good feeling or a bad feeling about it?"

He turned back to gaze at the sky, a soft, pensive silence between us. It was a minute before he answered in a dark voice, "With those two, it's always a bad feeling."

I was _really _tempted to ask, _do you have a bad feeling when it's me_?, but I didn't think he'd appreciate that, especially when we were like this. It would probably be stupid to ruin any chances I had of a friendship with him after confessing all of a sudden, anyway. Instead, I settled with saying, "Well _I _think all we need to do is fix a few kinks in our plan before it's flawless. He won't know what hit him."

"Nothing," he broke in slowly, "—is flawless."

I sat up and glared down at him, ignoring just how quickly my heart sped up when the moon was hitting the planes of his face this way. "You're being unusually pessimistic today, Natsume."

"I'm always pessimistic," he shot back easily, no amusement or anger betraying his tone. "You just haven't been around long enough to witness it."

I was about to say something along the lines of: '_Oh yeah? Well I'll throw you over a cliff and show you pessimism' _but then the whole world fucking stopped.

I could _feel _my cheeks start to flush hotly and my stomach start twisting with nerves. He… his hand was—"It's fine. Let's not worry about tomorrow just yet."

I could only nod dumbly before lying back down beside him with his _hand _freakin' clasping _mine_. I bet he could hear the rapid race of my heart because, if I was being perfectly honest with myself, it was pounding so hard in my chest, my ribs were actually beginning to _throb._

There was a pause and I tried coming up with a suitable explanation for all of this… this _hand-holding. _It was… it felt better than _kissing _him. What was this supposed to mean and—it was just then that I noticed his arm and his entire _body _was as stiff as a board. My hand was slack in his, his grip wasn't firm but it wasn't quite lax, and it was _obvious _he didn't want to hold my hand. He was just so… uncomfortable.

"You know," he started off in his low baritone. "When I found out about it, I went insane…I went off on my bike even though I barely knew how it worked and disappeared for days before calling my parents. But…" he paused and after a moment of indecision thick in the air, he moved his free hand and pointed at the sky, "—at night, it always got better."

"Why?" I swallowed, ignoring my heart once more.

He didn't answer for a moment, his hand hadn't relaxed, but remained stiff in my hand and briefly, I wondered why he'd taken it in the first place, when it felt like he didn't even want to. It didn't make my heart slow down by any fraction, even if his body was stiff and uncomfortable. He'd taken it at his own accord. I wouldn't cheapen the act with my unanswered doubts.

Instead, I prompted him again and he breathed out an uneven breath before answering, "Because the most pressing time of the day is over and, all there's left to do, all there was ever left to do was to lie down, like this, and watch the sky."

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I didn't know what he was expecting. His hand hadn't loosened up and if anything, seemed to tense even more. I sighed and wrapped my fingers more tightly into our awkward fist. "I think… I think I can understand that."

We watched the sky in silence but our hands never loosened and he never relaxed. As I watched the sky and felt him beside me, I couldn't help but think I actually _did _understand the appeal of watching the sky when night fell and it was only the stars and you and the vastness of the sky. It made me feel small and insignificant but there was just something about it… It reminded me of my medium sized cottage in my small village and the wraparound porch with the swing that I sat on to watch the stars at night. It reminded me of the forest around my house with the pretty flowers and canopies of leaves and trees.

It reminded me of a time that was less… complicated. It reminded me of dad… it reminded me of silly summer memories when I used to run without a specific place in mind and—

"There's this place," Natsume broke into my thoughts, his voice gruff and so _softsoftsoft_, "—near my house that I liked going to. It was always quiet and even though the forest was dark, apart from having to run past trees through the forest for a good ten minutes, the sky sort of… opened up and there," he paused—and I didn't know why but I was holding my breath and my chest was starting to hurt—before he finished, "—that was my favorite spot."

I let out the breath I was holding and stared intently at the sky, wondering, _did we look at the same sky, you and me, with you at your favorite spot and me on my swing back home?_

I smiled at the sky and tightened my fingers against his.

"It sounds peaceful," I murmured truthfully. "It reminds me of the kind of place, I'd go to."

And with that, his whole body relaxed.

—It reminded me of home_._

* * *

**Writer's Note:**

Err, don't shoot me?

Okay, kasjdfkajsajdfkasdljf, I'm so sorry for the _really, really _horrible uneven and unreliable updates. I'll blame it on school because that's always a legitimate excuse but in reality, late updates can probably always be blamed on Heartbroken Confession, Romantically Loveless, Midnight Taiyou and IndigoGrapefruit. They end up taking all of my time when I actually have time to write. :) Seriously, send them hate-PM. They know it's coming. :)

Thank you, also, to everyone who reviewed my other stories and constantly told me to update TBATB. I have to admit, it was so hard to find motivation to write the rest of TBATB and while I was trying to get my muse back, I ended up posting drabbles and oneshots. I'm almost surprised at how many I managed to post in the last month but there you go. The influx of reviews constantly makes my day, so thank you.

If you guys have any questions, sneak them into your reviews and I'll try to answer them in the next chapter or make a FAQ section again.

Tell me what you thought of the chapter!

Thank you and goodnight,

_My Hopeless Romantic_


	20. How Far We've Come

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice.  
**  
Dedication: **To my readers. Today marks my third year on GAFFN and I'm very thankful for all of the words of support I've gotten since my start here. Thank you.

-;-

_Waking up at the start of the end of the world,  
But it's feeling just like every other morning before,  
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,  
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour  
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye  
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?  
I believe the world is burning to the ground  
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
Let's see how far we've come_

_"How Far We've Come" - **Matchbox Twenty**_

**Chapter 20. How Far We've Come**

"Koko, if you try to shove me in the back _one more time_, I'm going to kick you off a cliff until you land in Zimbabwe without several of your appendages." I elbowed him in the side when he only smiled innocently. "I'm serious."

He held up his hands in a truce but I couldn't help another growl from ripping itself from my throat, causing him to grin widely and pat my head. "Oh, she's trying to be vicious!" Koko cooed, coming up beside me to mess up my hair and press a kiss to where my forehead met my scalp. "Isn't that just _adorable_?"

He laughed and headed towards the kitchen with the fattest, most satisfied smile on his face. I shot him a dark look and glared at the boy walking ahead of me. "Are you going to let him get away with that?" I whined with a pout, dropping my jacket onto their couch and flopping down with a huff. "The least you could do is kick him in the family jewels and show 'im who's boss," I sighed, "—that'll teach that condescending, little creep."

Natsume only paused, slightly, in his trip to the mini kitchen to raise his eyebrow at me, look to Koko, who was walking into the living room with a soda in his hand, and raise his hand to whack the kid in the back of the head.

Koko yelped.

I snickered at the wide-eyed look on Koko's face.

With a pout, Koko dropped down in the recliner adjacent to me, watching carefully as Natsume disappeared into his room. When the distant sound of a door closing reached our ears, Koko leaned forward quickly. "So you're the one wearing the pants in this relationship, huh? I never thought Natsume would be the type to sit back and take orders like that from a girl but who knows what kind of dominatrix crap he's been letting you get away with." I gaped at him, but Koko merely leaned back to stare at the ceiling, contemplative. Before I could fix my lips to set him straight, he continued, "Then again, he might've been like that all along. I mean, Tsubasa's been drilling the idea of him being gay in my head for the past few years and I was starting to think it was true…" his eyes bore pointedly into mine, "—until I come back from walking Sumire to your room and see the both of you _star _gazing. Boy, _I've _never been so shocked in my life! I mean, Natsume's pretty stubborn and he has _the_ biggest stick up his ass, so how you managed to look past that and _still _want him is beyond me. Plus, he's never been interested in a girl before and for him to be watching the stars with you just proves to me he might not be as romantically challenged as I thought he was."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the heat coming up my cheeks. "You have _really_ got it all wrong. It wasn't what it looked like. Honestly, we're just friends."

"Friends that _hold hands_," Koko snorted, his expression completely disbelieving. "Yeah, don't think I didn't see that love action, you goober. Natsume does not just hold hands with any girl. He does not watch the stars with just any girl. In fact, he has never done anything with any other girl before _you_ and I really do think the day you kiss, you'll be his very, berry, dearest first—" he puckered his lips and smacked the air, "—kiss."

I couldn't help it.

I blushed.

And then felt completely ridiculous.

"Goober? And seriously, Koko, if you don't watch your mouth, Natsume'll hear you and I swear the kid might just wet himself if he heard the rumors coming out of your loud mouth." He shrugged and reached for the remote to turn on the TV, all the while humming an obnoxious tune, clearly stating he didn't care. "We're not dating, I promise," I repeated. And then, because I was curious and couldn't _not _know the truth, I leaned forward and whispered, "About his first kiss, you _can't _tell me he's never kissed anybody before."

At that, Koko grinned wickedly. "Does Natsume _look _like the type to kiss and tell? If he has, I'd have no idea." Koko leaned forward, brushing the side of his nose cheekily. "But Natsume has never given a girl the light of day and he is _definitely _not the type to get swayed by a girl he doesn't like. I mean, what are the chances he'd let some random girl he doesn't like jump and kiss him?"

An image of me doing just that flashed behind my eyes.

I scowled and turned away, but before I could come up with a suitable rebuttal, Natsume had returned wearing a pair of sweats and a ratty T-shirt, the expression on his face completely neutral. "You know your stupid voice travels to my room, Koko."

His voice was nonchalant, but I knew him better than that.

Koko's face drained of blood. "Oh shit."

"Yeah. _Run_," Natsume said in a deadly calm voice.

Without needing to be told twice, Koko jumped up from his chair, feigned to the right, then to the left and promptly opted to jump over the recliner. This would have been a great move if he hadn't managed to get his foot caught onto the back and hadn't landed in a heap on the ground with a groan. I watched as Natsume instantly moved behind the couch, hauled his best friend up by the scruff of his neck and shoved the kid in his room, not before giving him a sound, swift whack upside the head.

The door slammed and Natsume, a scowl on his face and a faint pink tint on his cheeks, headed over and slumped down in front of the TV. I looked at him with fascination and briefly wondered how the hell he didn't have dark bags under his eyes after catching small hours of sleep when I slept like I'd died and I still had them.

It was just so unfair that he looked so pretty.

His sigh of exasperation pulled me out of my thoughts when he muttered tonelessly, "What is it." Belatedly, he turned his head in my direction with an expectant look on his face. I noticed he had a frown on his lips and that he looked distinctly… uncomfortable.

"How much of that did you hear?"

He shifted slightly in his seat and ran a hand through his hair. "Everything after he said you wore the pants in our relationship." His eyes travelled to mine. I didn't really know what to think. Did we have a relationship? A part of me wanted to say, heck yeah! The other part looked at how uncomfortable and anxious he looked under his mask of indifference and sniffed.

_There was no relationship to speak of. _

Dammit.

He sighed and turned to face me entirely. "Look, Koko's an idiot. You can just forget about what he said. I," he paused for a second, red eyes looking away in embarrassment, "—I wasn't thinking back there. You can forget it ever happened."

Forget it ever happened? Forget that he flippin' took my _hand _and told me all of those things? Oh, _heck _no. There was no way I'd ever be able to forget that. It may not be a big deal to anybody but me, but to be honest, knowing how Natsume is and how he's like, the idea of holding my hand was a huge leap of faith for him. As for me, holding his hand felt _good_.

It was even kind of tingling still…

Arranging the words carefully in my head, I pulled the throw onto my lap and hugged it. I'd need all of the comfort I could get.

"No, _you _look, Natsume. We've talked about this before and, as much as I'd like to forget about the day I cried all over you, you can believe me when I say I won't judge you or jump on you (again) or anything. We're friends. I," I frowned, the word 'friend' just not feeling right on my tongue, "—you can tell me anything. Just trust me, the way I trust you."

"It's not that I don't trust you," Natsume leaned back in his seat. "I don't want you getting the wrong idea. That's all."

_Oh_.

Ouch.

For a second, I planned for the nonchalance. You know, the whole, what the heck are you talking about? Puh-lease, the world doesn't revolve around you, you cocky creep. But the plan was immediately shot down when I remembered, I _did _confess to him in my own, clumsy way. So obviously _that _wouldn't fly very convincingly.

Really. What do you say to the boy you like when he says he doesn't want you to think he cares for you? Aha. Yeah. You don't.

I realized, after a long moment, that I hadn't answered him and he didn't really look like he wanted a response. Just as I was about to fix my thoughts into words, Koko moved around in his room and asked loudly, "Can I come out?"

In unison, the both of us shouted, "No."

We could hear some shuffling in his room, an "Aw, man!", and then silence. For a moment, we just looked at each other in amusement.

I laughed.

Natsume's lips even tugged upward a bit.

Things settled and a moment passed as I pretended to be interested in the TV show when Natsume asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I turned to look at him steadily. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged and I tried to look away from his intense scrutiny in vain. "You seem…" He stopped and ran a hand down his face. "Never mind."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "C'mon. Really, Natsume? Did you not just hear my whole speech about you telling me things?"

He scowled at me. "I don't usually talk to girls like this," he said flatly and unembarrassed. "It's a first."

I turned it over in my head and immediately accepted it. I mean, it makes a girl feel kind of special when a boy inadvertently admits he's comfortable around her, right? I couldn't help the silly grin that slowly made its way onto my face.

"Speaking of firsts," I started lightly, scooting over so that I was closer to the armrest, "—Koko got me thinking about something."

Natsume groaned. "He's an idiot. When you've known him for a while, you learn to ignore whatever he says."

I waved his comment away. "He _did _mention something interesting earlier about your first kiss." For some reason, I got _way _too happy when his jaw twitched and even though he scowled, I could tell he was really embarrassed about it. "Is it true? You've never had your first kiss before?"

"We aren't talking about this," he said stiffly.

"So you haven't!"

His expression darkened and something changed around us. "Well, technically that's not true anymore, is it," he looked at me pointedly, an eyebrow posed for a challenge and a neutral set to his lips.

I sputtered. I couldn't help it. I wasn't really counting on him being so direct. Seeing him flustered and uncomfortable earlier (or as flustered as Natsume _could _be), made me a little too confident and I just… I didn't expect to be put in _this _situation.

"I-I… I guess not? Are you really telling me I stole your first kiss?" One part of me was utterly horrified. The other part of me was delighted. Horrified because I attacked him and stole his virgin lips like a common pervert. Delighted because he was, I don't know… it sounded funny to describe Natsume to be _pure _but for some reason, the idea of him never being kissed before just seemed so far-fetched to be true.

It made me feel funny, realizing I was his first.

He scowled again before turning resolutely away and my heart jumped in my chest.

He was so _cute_.

"You're so annoying," he muttered aimlessly, staring at the TV.

"Uh huh," I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "But I know you don't mind."

He didn't deny it.

-;-

When Natsume's motorcycle jerked to a stop, I practically jumped off the stupid contraption and threw his helmet back into his lap.

He merely raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Smirk all you want," I huffed, not waiting for him to get off and follow me.

Instead I headed toward one of the largest homes in Nagoya where one of my father's oldest colleague and friend resided. He hadn't been as popular a painter as my father, but my father had always told me, "That old man is far better a painter than I could ever be. He may not get the type of buyers I do, but nobody quite understands the mind of a true genius. I'd be lucky to turn out as mad and truly prodigal as your Old Man Miya."

After much thought about Hotaru and her upcoming birthday, I'd been wracking my brain, trying to figure out just what I should do for her. She already had so much money. She had the world at her fingertips; everybody was at her beck and call, really, and I stood by the idea of getting her something sentimental.

Natsume had merely scoffed when I'd brought it up, saying, "Are we talking about the same person? My cousin, the one with a complete lack of emotion? I think you've forgotten just who and how she is."

"You're completely missing the point, Natsume," I'd rolled my eyes at him.

It took three days of thinking and a phone call to make the arrangements. Following that, it took four different pictures sent by post, a long phone call describing my relationship with Hotaru and a week for me to get the call to pick it up. Needless to say, I was really excited.

It took one summer dress, one phone call, a three and a half hour ride on Natsume's motorcycle and the door to Mr. Miyazawa's for the present to lie, wrapped imperfectly in brown parcel paper, in my hands.

"To warn you," Old Miya interrupted, his voice soft and crackly with age, "—you only gave me five days and a couple of photos to work with, and you _know _portraits aren't my best." He paused when Natsume shifted in his seat, then turned back to me. "I'm glad you're wearing the summer dress," he smiled, spidery lines immediately appearing around his eyes. "Your father would've loved it."

I smiled and looked towards Natsume who was busy looking at the wrapped package sitting snugly in my hands. I started to think he was trying to burn the wrapping off with his eyes, they were so intense. "Yes, well, I never did make it a point to wear dresses." I grinned when I thought of the stories my mother had told me. "Dad always freaked out when I wore skirts and dresses and now I'm just too used to not wearing them."

I shook my head and tightened my grip on the painting before Old Miya's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Well, your father always said the boys would be all over you if you wore those silly things." He paused and looked at Natsume. "Then again, it doesn't look like you've been doing too badly in that department, with or without the dresses."

The blush already on my face intensified when Old Miya raised an eyebrow at Natsume and asked, "Is she a heartbreaker over there, son?"

I groaned, "Old man, _no_. You've got it totally—"

"Yes, sir."

I snapped my gaze over to him, but Natsume's gaze was locked firmly on Miya's. He even had one of those annoying, knowing smirks on his face.

The old man's face split into a grin before he leaned forward with his elbows on his knobby knees and said, "Then I hope you're beating them off with a stick. Y'see, if Izumi was here, he'd be ripping out their tongues and feeding it back to them piece by piece. You're lucky Izumi isn't comin' after you, boy, or he'd have you strung up by your tonsils the second you _looked _at her."

Natsume seemed to turn this over in his head for a second before he shrugged and eased his elbows onto his own knees. "I'd rather take the chance and have Mikan have her father than make it easy for me and have her have to do without him."

There was a pause where I looked down and tried to get my bearings.

_He called me Mikan…_

Old Miya recovered before any of us did and leaned back in his chair. Pointing his cane into Natsume's face, he shook his head and chuckled. "I like you, boy."

I fought the urge to groan. "Oh God, you guys are trying to kill me. I'd better run before you guys embarrass me any further." I lifted up the painting and smiled, "Thank you so much for this, old man. You don't know just how much I appreciate this, especially since it's so last minute."

The old man merely shook his head and looked at me, eyes glazed with age and once black hair turning a light shade of gray. Both hands were resting on his cane and frail, wrinkly arms with thick blue veins were enveloped in his loose button-up shirt which were rolled up to his elbows. The lines of his face, so achingly familiar, reminded me of a time not so long ago when father was still alive and when I'd been so happy with my family.

I missed those days—

"C'mere, you." Old Miya was smiling. "Give this old man a hug. He hasn't seen his little sunshine from down the road for months!" He held out his arms and without much reluctance, I deposited the painting in Natsume's arms and headed over to squeeze the old man.

"Thank you. I'll come to visit more often," I promised.

Miya nodded. "Good, good. And you, son? You're coming to visit, right, boy?"

I looked over Miya's head and smiled apologetically when Natsume shrugged and muttered lowly, "If you'd like me to."

"Of course I do!" the old man exclaimed, "As long as you don't try to steal my wife. I saw the way she looked at you when you came through the door, but then again, I see the way you look at my sunshine." Before the both of us could react to his words, the old man smiled and continued, "Come down when the fancy strikes, the both of you! For while I'm still breathing, you're always welcome!"

-;-

An hour through the drive back to Tokyo with the painting tucked carefully into the motorcycle's seat compartment, I stopped looking at the scenery rushing by and instead, placed my chin on Natsume's shoulder and thought of the exchange that had just taken place at old man Miya's.

The thought of the old man being so completely obvious about Natsume and me… it just made me want to bash my head against the concrete sidewalks or crawl into a bear cave and never come out. What was _with _everyone trying to make it so awkward? First it was Koko, then the old man. Who knows. The next thing I know, Hotaru, Sumire and Akimoto are going to team up and insist on it too.

I exhaled quietly and tightened my arms around Natsume's waist when he made a quick turn at one of the intersections. His chest rumbled a little bit, but other than that, he was quiet. I nudged him softly with my helmet once, then twice when he made no move to speak, and with a sigh, he muttered gruffly, "You know distracting the driver isn't a smart idea, right?"

Ignoring him, I rested my chin on his shoulder once more and murmured, "Your stomach just growled. We should stop and get you some sustenance."

"I'm fine."

"You're hungry." I pointed out again. "You didn't even eat breakfast did you?"

He was silent a moment. "You didn't tell me about this trip until the last minute and by then, you looked like you were going to cry if you didn't get the gift and back to Tokyo in time for Imai's little slumber party. I didn't have time to."

I pretended to look at the nonexistent watch on my wrist before I panicked and grabbed him around the stomach once more. Laughing nervously, I said, "Well, we have plenty of time now. Why don't we go to the next gas station and I'll treat you to a slice of pizza or something? It's better than fainting on your motorcycle and you know, killing the both of us."

"You're exaggerating," he deadpanned, slowing to a stop at a red light. "I'm a great driver."

"Yeah, tell that to the nerves in my stomach, Natsume." But then again, to be honest, those nerves were there for a completely different reason. Still slightly concerned but now, more than just a little annoyed, I drummed my fingers on his stomach before saying, "Okay, um… I have to go to the bathroom?"

He paused before half turning his head. "Are you just saying that so that we'll stop at a gas station or do you really have to go?"

"I have to go!"

Seven minutes later, we were both munching on a box of Pocky, a bag of chips, a drink for him and a sub divided between us.

-;-

By the time Natsume dropped me off in front of Tokyo Plaza with the painting and my clothes in a duffel bag, Hotaru was already eating chips and watching the big flat screen in her room while two servers or sous-chefs brought dishes of appetizers and snacks into the room.

The room was immaculate, or at least, the living room was. It was warm and spacious, filled with classy furniture in color schemes of creams, browns and blues. The suite doors opened up into the living room where the sofas were placed in a circle around the coffee table in front of the flat screen, and the fire, which explained the warmth, was already roaring within the fireplace.

Just off to the side of the sofas was a mini bar where drinks were all lined up with champagne and shot glasses placed meticulously on the counter. I thought it was slightly strange the hotel provided us liquor when we were four years under the drinking age, but it wasn't surprising some teenagers were drinking.

"You're early," Hotaru said, barely looking up from the TV. "Help yourself to some food. Don't touch the crab roe."

I snorted and dropped my bag on the floor before placing my wrapped gift neatly to the side. "What a gracious host you are," I deadpanned, picking up a piece of uiro and stuffing it into my mouth. I sat down across from Hotaru and looked at her carefully. "So who else is invited? And nice pajamas."

"Shut up," she said stiffly. "My mother insisted. As for the guests, it's just you, Shouda and my cousin and a family friend. Nobody else could possibly hope to garner an invitation. Oh," she looked up at the ceiling, seeming like she'd just remembered something, "I suppose I should invite Aoi as well."

I raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was a given when you said you'd invited your cousin."

"My cousin Yura. You met her at the Hyuuga family dinner, I heard," Hotaru said offhandedly. "I also invited Nobara, who's in your gym class. The Hyuugas and the Ibaragis used to be neighbors once upon a time when their manor was getting renovated, so when the manor was finished, the majority of them moved back and the property by the Hyuugas was bought off by some other family."

I whistled low. "The Hyuugas sound like a force to be reckoned with."

Hotaru snorted. "The Hyuugas are nothing without the Imais." Without elaborating, she called one of the servers to bring in some more crab roe before fishing out her blackberry and calling Aoi. Meanwhile, Sumire walked into the room with a completely flummoxed expression on her face, and I didn't understand why until Yura walked in behind her, commenting on the fireflies in the room.

"Okay, _who _are you?" Sumire burst out in a near shout.

Yura seemed not to hear her and instead, turned to me. "Oh…" her voice was misty. "Mikan Sakura-san… you are involved with the fall of humankind. You must be very careful."

From behind her, Sumire was making elaborate motions with her hands that clearly indicated she thought Yura Otanashi was absolutely crazy. I didn't exactly blame her, especially when she'd moved over to the rug and started muttering while tracing patterns into the carpet. Her grey hair had been tied neatly into a pony tail, draping over her shoulder in a glossy tumble of silver and warmth and she was sporting a tank top and a pair of plaid sweatpants.

"Who is she? Seriously," Sumire said, sliding up to me in her navy silk night dress and depositing her huge night bag by the door. "I was walking into the hotel and all of a sudden she started asking me how my mother was and just… saying _stuff _that she shouldn't know. It's really creepy, Mikan. I mean, seriously."

"That's Hotaru and Natsume's cousin, Yura Otanashi."

Sumire raised one incredulous eyebrow, looked back at Yura who had started crawling to the fireplace and looked back with an expression clearly stating she really didn't understand. She shook her head and walked towards the food. "Weird family."

"I heard that," Hotaru said monotonously from her seat on the couch. "Shouda, if you touch the crab roe, there _will _be hell to pay. Yura, don't touch the fire with your fingers. Mikan," she paused and looked up at me before shrugging, "—don't stand there looking like an idiot. Sit down."

I shrugged and sat, watching as Sumire gorged on pastries. "So, what does one do during sleepovers?" I asked no one in particular. I'd never been to a sleepover. There was the whole thing with my friends not being well… the kind of friends who invited you to sleep over or the kinds of friends _I _wanted to sleep over. I'd never been that interested and they'd only been school friends.

So I felt like, for some reason, I was at a disadvantage.

Sumire choked on her dango and looked at me with wide eyes. "You've never been to a sleepover before? Wow…" she whistled, throwing back the rest of the dango she'd picked up and sliding over in her seat. "I went to an all-girls Catholic school for _years _and had a sleepover every weekend! Oh man, Mikan. You're totally missing out."

"You're exaggerating," Hotaru said in a tone that told me she was rolling her eyes. She glanced at her watch and sighed. "Nobara is coming at eight and picking up Aoi on the way." She looked up, velvet eyes were wide and dark, such a contrast against her neutral expression. Then, barely moving her lips, Hotaru said, "So, where are my gifts?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed and shook my head before heading over to pluck the wrapped canvas by my bag on the floor. "Here," I handed it over to her. "This is mine."

Sumire grumbled and pulled a carefully wrapped box from her bag and plunked it smoothly on top of my gift. She looked up, looking irritated, but the small smile on her lips said otherwise. "This is for you. Happy birthday, Imai."

Hotaru took the box into her hands and looked at it for what seemed like a minute before she exhaled quietly and undid the ribbon. She carefully lifted up the lid and I blinked twice to fight off the glare of the jewelry.

"It's a pair of earrings. Fourteen karats of white gold drop earrings with your birth stone in the drops," Sumire explained nonchalantly, picking at one of the taiyaki on her plate and avoiding eyes. "And there's a matching necklace there that's eighteen karats. Since it's your birthday and opal is your birthstone, it seemed kind of fitting."

Hotaru fingered the hole in her ears before replacing the earrings back into the box and putting the lid back on top of it. She looked at Sumire, looking like she didn't really know what to say before she told one of the servers to get Sumire a plate of some of her special crab roe.

Sumire looked up and they caught each other's eyes. Hotaru sent her a small (_smallsmallsmall_) smile and then lifted up my gift. It was wrapped in black wrapping paper with yellow stars dotting the black. Natsume had looked all over his dorm for it and found the stuff in Ruka's room. I hoped, inwardly, that she didn't recognize it.

She raised her eyebrow at me before tearing it off and I was practically on the edge of my seat, trying to gouge her reaction. But she merely tore off the paper and leaned the painting against her thighs without her expression ever changing. Instantly, my heart dropped into my stomach.

"What is it?" Sumire chewed, looking disinterestedly over to Hotaru. "You're awfully quiet, Imai. Is it that bad?" She walked over to look over Hotaru's shoulder before her jaw slackened.

I didn't know what to say.

Did she not like it? I thought she'd like it. It was a very well drawn painting and well, aw, screw it.

"How did you…" Sumire only shook her head and bent closer, looking at the painting. "Mikan, this is so beautiful."

I blinked, eyes wide. "What? Really?"

She nodded and was pointing out the elements to Hotaru as if she couldn't see them. "It's us. Imai, you're standing over us, like a protector. You're always watching our backs and standing up for us. You're so confident and proud, like you always are. I'm sitting, obviously, holding Mikan's hand because I'm such a baby and I'm always so immature and blow things out of proportion. I'm the most childish of all of us, so I'm the one that's cross-legged on the ground. And Mikan, she's in the middle, sitting and holding the both of us together. Our link, I guess. We've never really gotten along, have we, Imai? I just… it's perfect. I love it."

After a long pause, Hotaru snorted. "You love it? You're saying it as if it's yours, Shouda."

Sumire looked at her incredulously, rolled her eyes before she huffed, "Oh my God, Imai. We are right in the midst of like… a beautiful sisterly moment and you just have to go around and say something like that. God, no wonder I can't stand you."

"Do I look like I care?"

Sumire groaned and looked at me pleadingly. "Can you _believe _her?! Seriously! Imai, I swear to God, I am two seconds from screaming at you!"

"Thank you," Hotaru said, continuing to look at the painting, ignoring her. She waved one of the servers over and gave him instructions to put her gifts away for the night before she turned to us with a small smile on her lips. "Yura, get over here."

Otanashi, who'd been sitting benignly on one of the sofas around the coffee table, perked to attention and blinked at her cousin. "Hotaru… happy birthday. It is six days 'til November."

"… right. Well, before we start, I wanted to get something off my chest," Sumire declared. She shifted in her seat and finally turned toward me with a frown on her lips. "Okay, I've never really done this before so don't make fun of me. I swear, if you do, I will personally rip out your teeth and feed it to a bird."

I blinked. "Uhm, what?"

"Never mind. Listen," Sumire said, turning her face away slightly. "I know we've been over this before but I just want to say, I'm over it. I know I can be such a whiny, spoiled brat when I don't get my way and I know you like Natsume and I guess I was just… in the way and I've realized now. I was never going to get Natsume in the start. I was so…" she exhaled sharply and shrugged, looking up to briefly catch my eye, "—I was so focused on the idea of being Natsume's girlfriend that I didn't really realize just how much I don't…_like _him that way. I mean, he's always so freakin' moody and shit, it _totally _wouldn't work. I mean, if I'm constantly moody and he's constantly moody, it'd only be a matter of time before I snapped and murdered him."

I opened my mouth to say something, to disagree with what she was saying, but Sumire just lifted a finger. "Wait, just let me finish. I swear, if I don't say this now, I'm never _ever _going to say it. I might as well get this off my chest while I'm sharing after that stupid _painting _you got for Imai and—" she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for being such a spoiled, immature and horrible friend. I hate to think that you liked Natsume the whole time and didn't want to tell us because I was always in the process of gushing about him and shit. He's hot, hands down, but I guess… I guess I really didn't open my eyes until Koko told me Natsume just wasn't into me."

I was distinctly aware of my heart pounding in my chest and the relief washing over me. I thought she was going to slap me in the face. I thought she was going to… for the lack of a better expression, blow things out of proportion, accuse me of being a bad friend and then cutting off all ties with me. But… Sumire, she thought _she _was the one being a bad friend when in reality, _I _was the one keeping secrets.

Vaguely, I could hear Hotaru eating.

"So yeah. I'm sorry," she said simply. "If you want to go out with Natsume, then you have my blessing. Not that you need my blessing or anything, but you strike me as the type of person that's stupid enough to care about that kind of thing. So there you go."

And then she reached for a pastry and stuffed it into her mouth, avoiding eye contact and brushing her hair out of her eyes like she hadn't just apologized and—

I hugged her. "No, Permy, _I'm _sorry. I knew you liked Natsume in the first place and if you think you're the bad friend, _I'm _the one that's been keeping a secret from you guys. I may have…uhm—"

"Kissed him? Trust us, Mikan," Hotaru snorted, violet eyes boring into mine. "We know."

"What?"

For the first time, Sumire turned her head to look at me with a wry grin on her face. "Seriously, Mikan. I knew you kissed him like… three days ago when he was over at our place and you'd just found out the principal was your uncle. It's not very smart to like… confess your love to him and stuff when I'm in the house, you know. You guys were practically yelling at each other and I could hear you guys in my _room. _When I found out you kissed him and well… liked him, I was just… not pleased with the fact that not only does Natsume like you too, but the only thing keeping you from being happy is one) your family being _kinda _messed up and two) me. So, there you go. I know when it's time to grow up and step back." She turned to Hotaru with her black hair swaying down her shoulder. She raised a brow, "What I want to know is how _Imai _knows."

Hotaru merely looked back at her blandly. "Do you really have to ask that question?"

I shook my head. "I meant to tell you guys. I really did. It's just… I didn't know how you'd react and I guess, when it boils down to it, I was just too cowardly. I mean," I looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. "I spent two months saying how I'd never like Natsume and how he annoyed me and how I thought boys were stupid and the next thing you know, I—I _like _him. That just doesn't make sense to me."

"Not everything has to make sense, necessarily," Hotaru said calmly. She picked at invisible lint on her pajamas, frowned down at them and then continued, "—I'm an inventor. I thrive in my Advanced Placement Physics and Calculus classes and I'm self-learning Techtronics from Alice University across the city. I used to be a rationalist, but when Nogi came along," she shrugged. "It doesn't make sense, but it's there and it's real."

"You're right it doesn't make sense," Sumire snorted, throwing her legs over the arm of the couch and resting her head in my lap. "I mean, he's this sweet, smart, completely normal and amazing guy and then there's you, a cool, calculating, I-have-my-eye-on-you-but-I'm-not-even-looking sort of girl and well, I really don't know where the chemistry is. The more I think about it, I think you might've blackmailed him into being your boyfriend." She turned her head slightly and grinned at me. "No offense, Imai."

"None taken," she drawled, "—the point is, you should just go with it. Stop over-thinking about every single thing and thinking about everybody else and be selfish for once. Do something for yourself. Do the things that make _you _happy. You're never going to be happy when you're just doing what other people want you to. Maybe at the moment, sure. It's nice to do things for people—"

"Like you'd know," Sumire coughed.

"—_but,_" Hotaru continued, seemingly unperturbed, "—in the long run, while everyone else is happy, you'll just be sitting there wondering where everything went wrong."

She paused for a minute, letting it all sink in and I wondered about what she said. Did I really do things just to make everyone happy? I didn't think so. I did things for myself. I hadn't told Sumire about the Hyuuga dinner, didn't I? I confessed to Natsume for myself, hadn't I?

"—It seems Aoi and Nobara will be arriving very soon," Yura muttered in her wispy voice. "They have news. About the 31st."

"There's the school dance on Halloween," Sumire perked up, flipping her hair over her shoulder, eyes shining. "Are either of you dressing up? Are either of you _going_?"

I shrugged and turned the idea over my head. "I've never been a big fan of dances. I've always been the one handing out the candy during Halloween."

"Nogi wants me to go," Hotaru muttered begrudgingly. Her eyebrows were knitted in such a distasteful expression that I couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter at the expression. "He seems to think walking around in ridiculous outfits will be a romantic experience."

The door flew open and Aoi burst into the room with her face a pale, pale peach. "You will _not _believe who had the guts to walk up to me today after therapy," she hissed sharply, flopping down in her jeans and throwing her black hair roughly into a ponytail. "That stupid jerk who deserves to have a fork stabbed into his eye!"

"Akimoto?" I ventured a guess. She nodded sharply and the first thought that came to mind was the fact that Natsume would probably _freak _if he heard. "What'd he say to you? Geez, is he stupid? He's just asking for a death wish!"

Nobara closed the doors to the suite and sat down next to Aoi with a wary expression on her face. She nodded at me as a greeting and tried to send a small smile my way, but I could tell she was probably confused about what was happening. Had she been around, still neighbors with them when this happened to Aoi, I wondered.

"Aoi," Hotaru said sharply. "Tell us what he said to you."

She paused and exhaled roughly. "He said he knew what we were doing and that we'd never succeed. He said we should stop trying because he was already done and then…"

"Then?" Sumire urged.

Aoi looked over to me, crimson eyes conflicted and guilty. "Then he said he wanted to talk to you, Mikan. He said he wanted to talk to you alone."

There was a moment of silence before Hotaru turned to me abruptly. "You are _not _going to talk to him," Hotaru said firmly. "Don't even try to play that stupid hero complex I know you have. This is serious. _He's _serious. Promise you won't go to him and talk to him alone."

I didn't answer for a while, thinking, until Hotaru all but growled the question once more. "I won't. It's just… don't you think that's a little weird? Why would he want to talk to me? I think I've made it pretty clear whose side I'm on in this. I mean, yesterday I pretty much told him he was the scum beneath my shoe."

"Obviously he doesn't _get _it," Sumire rolled her eyes, sitting on the ground near the fireplace and leaning on her palms. "To be honest, I always thought he kind of had a thing for you, even before this whole," she waved her hand in Aoi, Hotaru and Yura's general direction, "—family thing."

"He was only ever interested because of Hyuuga," Hotaru said confidently.

"Don't be too sure, Imai," Sumire said lightly. "Guys are mysterious creatures. Their logic never really makes sense."

"Either way, I'll call Nogi and see if we can make sense of this."

-;-

Before we had even processed that he was heaving and panting in the doorway of the suite, Ruka had half-roared, half-exclaimed, "Where is he?! What happened?!"

Natsume nudged him to the side to walk in before Koko, still grinning with his hands behind his back, peeked in from over Natsume's shoulder and looked around the suite. I swear I thought I heard him whistling before the conversation between Ruka and himself resumed.

"I can't believe he was here, waiting for you like that! Are you guys hurt? You guys all _look _fine but God knows I should know better than anybody than to believe girls actually _show _emotion now. He didn't touch you, did he, Hotaru? If he did, I don't know what I'll do! Wait, _shit_. I forgot to lock the door, oh that doesn't matt—"

I hadn't even noticed Natsume had crossed the threshold and was walking toward me until I felt the couch sink down to my right and the smell that was so distinctly Natsume, soap and something woodsy, wafting in my face.

My head snapped up to look at him. "H-hi."

_So smooth, Mikan._

He looked at me, frowning, before he leaned in slightly and asked, "You okay? Imai didn't tell Ruka much, other than _him_ being here."

"I didn't even see him. It was Aoi. He came and approached Aoi outside when her therapy finished."

I watched his face carefully and could see the muscles in his jaw tightening as his eyes sought his sister's from beside me. I swear, I could see his eyes darkening and the warmth of his body double. "Natsume." He didn't answer, but his dark aura skyrocketed until I put my hand on his chin and turned his face to mine. "We're fine. Here." I shifted closer to him and patted the spot between Aoi and me. "Maybe then you won't have to communicate telepathically."

He rolled his eyes, as if saying _Har har_ before taking the proffered seat and settling for murmuring quietly to his sister. I watched him for a bit, taking in the dark wash of his jeans, the predictable leather jacket and the back of his soft black hair. Something within my chest warmed with him. There was just something about him that brought a fire to my chest.

I tamped that idea down the moment I caught Sumire's eye from across the coffee table and saw the growing grin on her face.

"—The point is," Hotaru growled, shaking Ruka off her arm and looking at Natsume, "—it's dangerous to be alone. Aoi was at _therapy _when he approached her and Mikan," her eyes slid carefully to me before looking back at Natsume, "—well, now we know he wants to get her alone too. I think it'd be best if we all have our cell phones on us at all times. Even during class."

"Trust me, I never _don't _have my phone on," Sumire snorted, pulling her phone out of her pockets and holding it up as proof. "See?"

"Obviously I wasn't talking to you," Hotaru said rudely, nodding her head in my direction. "This one's the one I'm worried about. I'll look after her. Natsume, you'll look after your sister. Yome, you take Shouda and Nogi…" she paused, then looked at her boyfriend and shrugged. "Nobody really wants you, so you can do whatever you want."

He made a noise that was half indignant, half resigned, before he grinned and held her hand. "I know you don't mean that."

Before Hotaru could act out on the snarl on her lips, I leaned my elbows on my knees and said thoughtfully, "You can't follow me everywhere, Hotaru. That'd be ridiculous, as well as impossible. You have classes of your own."

She had this look that said _so what_ but replied, "Kitsuneme. How many classes do you have with Kitsuneme?"

"I don't know. English?"

"And Math," Natsume said softly. "But I'll walk her to both. Kitsuneme doesn't even know."

"You're looking after your sister," Hotaru argued in a tone that said it was final. "You know that you won't trust anyone to do anything unless you're doing it yourself so you look after Aoi and I'll get somebody to go with Mikan. Kitsuneme doesn't _have _to know what's going on. He likes Mikan enough to do it, no questions asked."

"Maybe that's the point," Koko snickered under his breath, and I felt Natsume shift in his seat.

"Natsume, you have class and I'm on a whole other division than you," Aoi piped in from my left. "That means, while I'm on the left side of the school, you're on the right. You're going to be late to all of your classes!"

He grunted in his throat and rubbed his temple. "It's fine. It's not like I'm not usually late to classes anyway." He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling before he continued, "Look, who has study hall this semester?"

Nobara and Sumire both chorused affirmatives. Sumire said she had one before English and Nobara said she had one before Gym every morning. Natsume blinked at her before looking like he was restraining a groan. "Ibaragi, do you even—"

"I've heard of what happened to Aoi, yes. From mother," she answered smoothly. "I didn't know it was still… well, it's been a year so I didn't think it was…"

"It is," Natsume answered brusquely, "—he's trying to ruin us. Listen, here's what's going to happen. Aoi and Polka are our main concern. Whoever has a spare will walk Aoi to and from class and I'll take care of any other time nobody's free." He turned to Aoi and grabbed her wrist, "You're going to have your phone on at all times. You call somebody right when you're done and keep talking to them until you get to your next class. I don't care if you have your other friends with you. I don't care if you feel stupid, just do it. Better yet, _I'll _call you before and after classes and you're going to be in class and ready to go when I come to pick you up."

"You," he said turning to me. "The same goes to you. Imai will walk you to your first class, I'll walk you after Math and English—"

"I have History with her!" Koko piped in nonchalantly. "I don't mind walking Mikan to English."

"And I have Gym with her second," Nobara added.

"Then it's settled," Natsume was looking at us as a whole. "Nobody goes anywhere unless one of us knows. If something happens, _call _somebody. I might be overreacting but if Koizumi and Akimoto are in this together, who knows what's going to happen."

"I hate to say it," Hotaru said in a low voice, velvet eyes staring into the fireplace, "—but with Akimoto and Koizumi together, their forces are almost just as strong as the Hyuuga family's extended."

The room was quiet with Hotaru's final words and I didn't know where to look, didn't really know what to do. So much for having a celebration. With Akimoto lurking around with help from Luna now, I could only wonder what was going to happen once the weekend ended and we had classes once more. Everything was such a mess.

_Happy birthday, Hotaru_._ I bet you weren't expecting Akimoto to ruin your party plans, huh?_

My eyes snapped open and I whirled around to face the only person in the room that had been quiet up to this point. Without thinking, I grabbed Natsume's hand and squeezed, "Yura… what were you saying about the fall of humankind?"

Misty gray eyes looked from the carpet and the ghost of a smile touched her lips. "You speak of the source of autumn, Mikan-san. His name betrays his motives. You must be one with humanity. You must know humanity in order to destroy it. That is the fall of humankind."

-;-

"You think your cousin's crazy."

I closed the sliding door to the balcony and crossed my arms, watching as Natsume half turned his head to look at me with narrowed eyes. He sighed and I took that as an invitation to stand beside him. "Your cousin isn't crazy. She knows her stuff," I said nonchalantly, bumping my shoulder with his. "Seiji and Aoi seemed to think so."

"She was talking about the fall of humankind," Natsume snorted derisively. "Look me in the face and tell me you actually believe you're a part of something as big as that."

I looked him in the face, raised one eyebrow and smirked, "I believe her." I looked out over the city and crossed my arms over the railing, eyeing the bright lights and breathing in the city air that still tingled in my nose. "And you know why, too. You just don't want to believe it."

He half-grunted, half-hummed. "Believe what?"

"I know you're not stupid, Natsume," I rolled my eyes. "You know what his name means. You know what Yura was referring to in there. And you know she can, in some weird way, predict the future. If she says I have to befriend Akimoto in order to beat him, then that's the way it's going to be."

"You are _not _going to be friends with him. I forbid you."

I'm sure Natsume knew that was the wrong thing to say the moment the words were out of his mouth because he tensed the moment I whirled my head around and rounded on him. "Excuse me? You _forbid _me? And who the hell made _you _my father?"

He scowled and looked like he was going to say something _both _of us were going to regret before he turned resolutely away, making a low noise from the back of his throat. "It's a bad idea. We know he wants you and now you just want to play right into his hand? If you do, I think you're an idiot."

"Like you didn't think I was an idiot before."

"It's a bad idea," he said softly. "Just listen to me for once. You've never listened to me before but just trust me." He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and said again, "Trust me."

I paused, then glared at him. "You're _mean_."

"Mean or not, if it works then I'm using it." He smirked at me, eyes faintly amused before his lips settled into a frown once more. "Fine. Then promise me this, if you plan to do something stupid, and we'll judge if it's stupid with my opinion, then you'll call me, one of us, and tell us something. You…" he exhaled sharply and tightened his jaw, "—you're the type of person that leaps first."

"Gee thanks." I watched as he continued to look at me with his unrelenting red eyes.

I scowled at him. "_Fine. _I promise already. Geez."

His expression was satisfied when he turned away from me and looked back over the railing, a small tint of a smile to his lips. I sighed and looked out at the city as the sky darkened even further until stars, barely visible through clouds and pollution, glimmered in the sky.

"Mhm, this reminds me of rice cakes," I hummed, smiling. "My mom used to make my dad and me rice cakes when we camped out in the backyard to watch the stars. It was great."

Natsume sort of just stiffened and I looked over with a frown. "What?"

"I heard about your mother and uncle."

"Yeah?" I cleared my throat and turned away from him, slightly troubled. "Weird family, huh? To think, I'm related to the Principal. It's insane what life's become in a few short months. One month, my mother leaves. The next, I discover I have an uncle and who knows what'll happen by the end of this month. Apparently something's bound to happen Halloween night or at Hotaru's birthday bash. Oh, did you know I'm a Yukihira now? I didn't even know who they _were_ and now it's just—"

"Mikan."

My head snapped up and his eyes were dark and he was _soso _tall and the faint push and pull of his breath on my cheeks made me want to close my eyes. With my train of thought, it was only a second later that my eyes dropped to his lips when he said, "You're rambling."

Swallowing, I laughed nervously and turned away, confused. "Yeah, that tends to happen a lot. You learn to ignore me."

I froze when his hand, warm and a bit rough, rested on the back of my neck. My skin sang and my body hummed and I looked at him with wide eyes wondering, what was he _doing_? Almost a full day ago at around this time, he'd told me blatantly that he only viewed me as a friend and now he was just… he was _touching _me.

Not that I was complaining, really. His touch was warm and soft and I wanted to just relax and bask in it. Life was just so confusing with my parents and my uncles and my friends, but for the past two days with Natsume, just the both of us by ourselves, it felt like the world was just shut out and I could _breathe _again.

He was so warm.

I kept my eyes on his face and watched his eyes darken with half worry and half confusion. "You okay?"

The low timbre to his voice made me shiver. "You're cold," his voice was quiet. I shrugged at his comment and in an action that was more than a little hesitant, he drew me closer and hugged me loosely, giving me enough room to move away if I wanted, but tight enough to share that indeterminate warmth that was always, always with him.

I took the small step left between us and hugged him close, pressing my face against his chest and listening to the rumble of his heart against my ear. If I didn't know better, I would've thought I could feel his heart rate speeding up.

I breathed him in and sighed softly.

"Natsume," he shifted and seemed to relax the moment after, and pressed a soft, soft kiss to the top of my head and I said the only thing that I could think of,

"—thank you."

_

* * *

Sorry for the wait. I promised to post this for some people today and well, if there are any errors, I'll edit them later.  
Thanks again for supporting me for three whole years. I'll be more eloquent next time when I can actually _think _clearly.  
Sorry again for the wait. You can look for updates on my profile._


	21. There's Something About You

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi who likes to make little children suffer. Guh.  
**  
Dedication: **My Readers. :) Because everyday, I'm surprised to get a review from you to tell me you're still interested in my writing, despite my horrible updating skills. It's summer, so I don't know if you'll believe me this time, but I'll update faster? Haha. Yeah, I'm lame. Sorry! D: Get ready for a long chapter. Almost 10K words, people.

* * *

_There's something about you_  
_That tears me inside out whenever you're around._  
_And there's something about you_  
_That makes me fly_  
_You're a heart attack, just the kind I like_  
_There's something about your kiss_  
_haunting and strange._  
_That makes me feel so good_  
_I get a feeling, you get a feeling, we got a feeling_  
_Like we're alive._

_"There's Something About You" - **The New Radicals**_

**Chapter 21. There's Something About You**

The room cleared out quickly with the noise following slowly in its wake.

Chairs screeched noisily and feet pattered, off-beat, like an untrained group of hand drummers was passing through the room. At the back of my mind, I could recognize the muted voices of the few stragglers left in the theatre, but I wasn't focusing enough to listen to what exactly they were talking about.

I was too busy restraining my foot from tapping on the ground while Mr. Narumi whistled to the beat of _You Keep Me Holding On._

I know this probably seems necessary but that doesn't make it feel any less ridiculous. We're in high school! Things are being blown _way _out of proportion and well, to be honest, I guess I don't really believe this is happening. I could've sworn a few months ago these dramas only happened in books and movies but apparently, rumors about these city kids being bad influences might be true after all.

"Oh, don't frown, Juliet!"

_Ah, Mr. Narumi._

I tried to force a smile.

He swooped down by my feet to pick up one of the forgotten scripts on the ground and sent me a bright smile, looking over my frowning face as he did so. "Hey, now! Don't give me that! I know you better than to believe that kind of smile! How are you holding up, my star? It was terrible that Romeo couldn't show up for rehearsal but I think our Paris did a wonderful job stepping in." He gave me a knowing grin. "Didn't you think, Juliet?"

_Ugh, Paris. _That only reminded me too quickly about the rehearsal where Akimoto was made to play Romeo, just for today. He liked to exaggerate his 'lingering' touches whenever we did a scene together. I laughed slightly when I glimpsed his inquiring expression, "I suppose you could say it's a matter of perception."

"Ah, but he did well! There was passion! Desire! Raw, lasting _energy_! In fact, he might have to be an understudy!" He clapped his hands together excitedly.

I could feel the blood drain from my face.

When the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, I knew Akimoto had heard it. "Do you really think that's a good idea?" I smiled at him weakly. "I mean, who's going to be Paris if it's not him? I mean… personally, I think he'd make a much better Paris."

"Heavens no!" Narumi shook his head emphatically, already clasping his hands before him and looking at the ceiling, "I can see it now. Paris only has a dozen lines, some other student could easily take the role from his hands! Hitoshi, come over here!"

I could feel him before I saw him. He radiated this smug aura like thick waves of nausea. "Yes, Mr. Narumi, sir?"

_Sir. _

I think I might have thrown up a bit in my mouth. He damn well knew what he'd been called over for and he was being such a kiss-up it was making me sick.

"How do you feel about being the understudy for Romeo?" Narumi had a smile in his voice.

"I'd be delighted, sir. Especially if I can act opposite the lovely Mikan Sakura." Unbidden, my head jerked upwards, eyes wide, and he smiled at me. His blue eyes were so pretty. He oozed charm like natural sweat.

I scowled and looked away.

"Well, then that's settled," Narumi clapped his hands, doing a quick half twirl to pick up some more scripts left on the ground. "Hurry up, kids. Theatre is closing up soon!"

"Okay, thank you for the work," Akimoto called, watching closely as Narumi started cleaning up on the other side of the room. When Narumi was out of sight, he turned to me like a hawk.

I expected the worst.

"So I'd like to apologize."

My eyes snapped to his face and I blinked, startled. "Excuse me?"

He stuck his hands in his pocket and shrugged, staring down almost shyly. "I don't know. I realized, only too late, that I was being a jerk to you that day at BK and that's not the kind of impression I wanted to leave you with. Plus, my…reaction at Hotaru's birthday was anything but suave and I'd hate for you to judge me by the things you've heard from all of that. It's just… I have a problem with Hyuuga. And I didn't like it that you were with him."

What the _heck?_

Whatever I was expecting, I was _definitely _not expecting that.

"Y-yeah, you were being a jerk." _Smooth._

"And I want to make it up to you," he said, smoothly sitting down in the seat beside me. "Really, I do. It's just… I like you, Mikan. I really do. And sometimes I can't stop my mouth from saying things before my brain thinks it through. I," he sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair, "—I'm hoping I haven't messed up so bad that you really don't want to try to be friends."

He smiled, almost hesitantly, from underneath his eyelashes and I couldn't help but wonder, was he serious? Why was he being so nice? There was too much of a difference between the Akimoto Hitoshi that had been at Burger King a week ago and the Akimoto Hitoshi that was here now. He almost looked… remorseful, earnest.

But with everything I've heard and the things I've seen, I couldn't help the siren immediately going off in my head. But he was being _nice. _He reminded me of the boys at home who smiled shyly and opened doors for me. He was more good-looking than the norm, but… it was so hard to believe a boy like him, who looked so earnest and friendly, could do the things that I'd heard.

I tried to smile. "What about Luna?"

"Luna?" he asked, shrugging, "What do you want to know?"

"Why were you with her? Why was she talking to you? _What _was she talking to you about and why…" I shrugged. "Just, why?"

He leaned back in his seat and looked up at the ceiling. "What can I say? Luna's my friend, I won't lie about that and to be honest, we were talking about you. She was telling me she didn't like you and that you hit her on the back of the head with a volleyball and—"

I cut him off. "She has to _quit _that! Seriously, it was just an accident! It's not like I'm out to get her or anything!"

Akimoto was grinning, amused. "—which is why I told her I liked you. That didn't go well with her. Apparently she thinks you're out to get Hyuuga."

I think I blushed and I thought I saw his eyes darken. "I'll be honest with you," he started, turning his body towards me, "I have a problem with Hyuuga. I'm sure you're already aware. There's just something about him that grates on my every nerve and I won't pretend that he and I are buddies because the bottom line is, we're not. Which is probably what you witnessed that day I was with Luna. And at Hotaru's birthday party. We're both a little frustrated because she likes Hyuuga and Hyuuga and I seem to like you and you…"

He paused, carefully, and studied my face almost thoughtfully. "Well, you're a hard person to read. I rather like that, I do. It _can _be frustrating at times though." He grinned, "Like now."

This time I _knew _I blushed. "Uh, I'm sorry?"

He laughed. "Don't be. Listen, if you're not doing anything tomorrow, I'd like to make it up to you." It was probably the alarm on my face because he put up his hands and hurried, "—as friends, of course. We'll hang out as friends, do something fun. We could watch a movie."

Before I could answer, somebody cleared their throat by the door.

"Ready?"

I knew who it was before I bolted up from my seat and grabbed my bag from off the floor. I lifted my eyes and immediately caught Natsume's. His red eyes seemed to sear into mine before I tore them away to look over at Akimoto, who had risen from his seat as well. I tugged my bag over my shoulder. "Uh, rain check."

"Sure," he returned nonchalantly, already looking past me to Natsume.

_We had to get out of there._

Before I could so much as sort out my jumbled thoughts, my heart joined into the mix and almost jumped out of my chest. I think I might have jumped a little bit when Natsume draped one of his arms around my shoulders. When he spoke, I could feel it rumble from his chest into my shoulder. "Just because you're not playing today, doesn't mean you're not supposed to be there."

Akimoto raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure Persona can do without me for a few minutes." I could feel the heat of his stare on Natsume's arm and I fought the urge to shift. Instead I looked just below his eye. "You, on the other hand, should have been at the warm-up fifteen minutes ago. Don't tell me where I have to be and I won't do the same, Hyuuga."

Natsume tensed a beat before he nudged me slightly to turn me around. "Let's go," he said in a low voice. His arm was almost uncomfortably warm around me and I knew without even looking that the both of them were having one final staring contest.

In the end, I had to pinch the skin of his wrist to get him out of the theatre.

We didn't speak the entire way out until we were halfway to the parking lot. He slipped his arm from my shoulder abruptly. "What was that?"

I tried not to frown at him or narrow my eyes, but the minute he'd spoken, my eyes were rooted onto his and the death glare came easily. "That, _dear_ Natsume, was the result of you being late."

He looked almost incredulous, but mostly, he looked furious. "I was a little late so you started talking to _him_?"

"_No_, I'm not some kind of attention whore, thanks," I said, scowling. "But what did you expect? You know Luna and him are in the same play as me. You _knew _that Koko was going to be gone all day because of that doctor's thing his mom signed him out for and both Hotaru and Ruka thought you were going to come get me so they both got out of rehearsal early because Ruka had to warm up. So when _he_ walks up to me and starts talking to me, what am I supposed to do?"

I breathed in sharply and watched as his features lost some of its anger. Without a word, he tucked his hands into his pockets and started, once again, heading to his motorcycle. I waited a beat before following. "I still think this is ridiculous. I'm _not _some baby you guys need to look after." I point out, not bothering to look at him.

Natsume made a low noise from the back of his throat.

Wordlessly, I stuffed my bag into the compartment under the seat and stuffed my script on top before closing it. I turned around only to find him watching me with one of the helmets in his hands. His face was all smooth, except for the pucker of skin knitted above his eyebrows. He lost his frown the second I turned around. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he pushed my hair out of my face and slid the helmet on top.

My heart raced.

"I'm…" he paused and swallowed.

Despite my heart galumphing in my chest, the snarky side in me muttered, _You're what? Sorry? Stupid? Oh, I know, Natsume._

When he looked back up and caught my eye, I could see just how much effort it took him to say what he ended up saying.

"I trust you."

Without another word, he shoved his helmet onto his head and sat astride the bike. He all but shoved his key into the ignition and knowing that he refused to look at me and follow up with words, I climbed in after him with a shake of my head.

-;-

By the time we parked in at Seika High, Natsume was almost a half hour late for his soccer warm-up and the bleachers outside were almost all full. Not knowing where else to sit, I moved up the steps and carefully slid into a seat somewhere in the centre. The front and back rows had filled up first, from the looks of things, and I couldn't find Hotaru, Sumire, Nobara and Aoi anywhere.

I know it's probably bad, but I couldn't help but feel relieved that I could have time for myself for once instead of having somebody constantly looking over my shoulder to see if I was fine. I mean, Akimoto says he wants to see me _once _and everybody starts going crazy. The sooner we got to the bottom of this, the sooner we can all lead normal lives. Or at least, that's what I'm hoping.

From around me, I could hear the masses of people talking and I could only vaguely make out words and fragments of conversation. Everything else was a buzz, which explains why I probably didn't notice Natsume making his way up into the bleachers with his uniform on until he tapped me on the shoulder. I almost got whiplash when my eyes snapped up from my hands.

"What's going on?"

"Where were you?" His lips tugged up into a small smirk. He must have heard something because he looked behind him for two beats before dropping the smirk and leaning down to my ear. "Never mind. Why are you sitting there by yourself? It's not safe to be alone."

"We're at a soccer game, Natsume," I roll my eyes, only slightly pleased at the concern in his voice. "What's the worse that can happen? Your _friend_ is going to be on the team bench and I'm not worried about Luna, to be honest. Let me just… have some alone time with myself." I watched him closely and had to swallow because he looked pretty damn good in uniform. "I'll be fine," I manage thickly, searching for his eyes. "I'll still be here when you're done."

He didn't look happy, that much I could tell. But somebody from below was calling his name and he looked frustrated. He never tore his eyes away from me. Finally, he exhaled roughly. "I'll come back during intermission. If somebody approaches you, call Imai. And…"

I looked up at him curiously, urging him to finish.

"Just…make sure you're safe," he said finally, "I will kill you with my bare hands if you do something stupid," he warned, unclenching his fists and tightening his jaw. I told him that I wouldn't and that I was a big girl who could take care of herself. He merely cocked an eyebrow, sighed, looked at me once more with something discernible in his eyes, and then he began the slow jog down the bleachers.

I watched him for two beats before noticing just how many females looked after his retreating figure. I really couldn't blame them. He really was a beautiful man…boy? I shook my head and wondered briefly where Aoi was sitting or if she had gone to therapy like her brother had advised. Thinking quickly, I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and turned it on.

**To: Aoi Hyuuga  
From: You**

Hey, where are you?

-;-

Before I could even send the little bugger, my phone started vibrating and I fumbled with the keys before reading the incoming text.

**To: You  
From: Kaoru Nendo**

I'M SITTING ALONE. WHERE ARE YOUUUU? D=

-;-

It took three more texts both ways for me to find him in the crowd, waving his hands in the air like some maniac with a boyish grin on his face. I shook my head and made my over, apologizing to the people along the way. When I'd finally reached him, I plopped into the seat beside him with a great exhale. "I don't understand why you'd want to sit way up here."

"What are you talking about? The view is _great _up here! Trust me, you can see _everything._" He motioned with his head towards the field and I still stood by the fact that you could barely even tell who was who from how far up we were. When I told him this, Kaoru merely shook his head consolingly. "Who _cares _who it is? You can see everybody on the field! As long as we can ogle the parts we want, who cares what's going on?"

"You're only here for the guys, aren't you?"

He sent me a look. "Please tell me you're not here for something ridiculous like moral support. I will _shoot_ you if you are."

"I'm here because I'm being babysat," I rolled my eyes. He continued looking at me and I smiled sheepishly. "And because of moral support?"

His blue eyes widened exaggeratedly. "What kind of girl _are _you? Where's Sumire?" He looked around as if on a search before settling on me once more. "Why are you here by yourself anyway?"

"I couldn't find Hotaru or Sumire when I got here so I decided to sit by myself. There's far too much drama in this school as it is. I just needed a little time to myself," I explained, realizing just how lame that sounded when I had finished. I looked down at my hands and tugged on my jeans, listening to the noises around me and the smell of wet grass in the air.

Kaoru nudged me in the shoulder with his. "No, what _you _need is some Kaoru-time. Go ahead and tell me what's wrong, sweetie. You know I won't laugh at you." I sent him a look and he grinned. "Not unless it's really stupid."

"Oh gee," I muttered, pausing when the soccer game started and Natsume was off like a shot. "Have you heard much about Akimoto Hitoshi? I know you've only been here for almost a month but he's not exactly the quietest person around and he's pretty popula—"

Kaoru cut me off when he put his palm up and closed his eyes as if he were in pain. "Please, _please_ tell me you don't like him because you have a perfectly devoted guy who wants to be there for you and I will _not _feel guilty for slapping you if you say you're not interested in him."

I felt my jaw drop and an unwanted blush start to stain my cheeks. I would never get used to his bluntness. Of that, I was certain. "What are you _talking _about?"

Kaoru opened first one eye and then the other. Then he pressed his fingers together and licked his lips. "How do I say this without being harsh…? Mikan, YOU LIKE NATSUME. Okay? I'm sorry, it doesn't take a genius to see it. And Natsume isn't exactly the most subtle guy in the world. He tries to be, but he's not. I don't know what the hell is up with all of this sick-ass foreplay but I hope you're not going to be the stupid clichéd bint who doesn't think the guy she likes is interested in her so she goes after some other guy because he's easier and openly displays his interest and—" he fake-gagged. "I would hate you if that were the case. Tell me it's not."

I blinked at him. "It's not! It's definitely not!" I all but shouted, turning away from the expression of curious disbelief on his face. Or did I? I was pretty sure I didn't. He was cute, that much was certain, but I hadn't thought of Akimoto in that way since I found out about him persuading Aoi to buy drugs from him. I shook my head again, "Or at least I don't think so? No, I'm pretty sure I don't. That's just weird."

"Good." He rooted inside his jacket pocket before fishing out a granola bar. While he ripped open the wrapper, he asked, "So why do you care about Akimoto?"

"I don't _care _about him. It's just…he _did _sort of ask me out today and from all of the things I've heard about him lately, it's hard to really know what's what. That's all."

Whatever Kaoru had been meaning to say was cut off when everybody from around us jumped up with a cheer of _GO Alice! _I whipped my head around in time to see our boys jumping on a blond I took to be Ruka and slapping Natsume on the back. I knew it was Natsume. I don't know how. From where I was sitting, I couldn't make out any of their faces and I sure didn't know what Natsume's number was. Was it weird that I was so certain about it? I didn't know. But I couldn't help the smile I could feel on my lips, because despite everything that was going on and the fact that he was always so serious, Natsume looked like he was having fun. Just his body language told me so.

"Oh God, you are so in love with him."

That snapped me out of my thoughts.

Kaoru had the biggest grin I'd ever seen on his face and I could feel a protest ready on my lips and the telltale blush on my face. "Don't even try to deny it! I can see it all over your face!"

"That," I said firmly, trying to fight the color off my face, "—is beside the point! The point is you haven't answered my question: what's your opinion on Akimoto?"

"My opinion," Kaoru finished off his snack and reached over to subtly stuff the wrapper in some kid's hoodie, "—is that he's not right for you, at all. And I don't say that only because I know you like some other bloke. I say that because he's an inconsiderate homophobe who just makes me want to grind the heel of my shoes in his face."

I blinked at the utter innocence and nonchalance in his voice. Where did _that _come from? I recovered just enough to say, "Can I ask _why _you want to maim him?"

He shrugged, "There's something not right with the kid. I don't know much about him other than the fact that he's 'friendly' and 'so hot' and 'smart' but…" Kaoru looked over, icy blue eyes serious, "There's something very _off _with him. I can't put my finger on it but it _is_ there. I can just feel it."

I swallowed. "Well, that's not cryptic at all," I muttered, turning my gaze back to the field. "So you've never talked to him before? And you still want to crush your shoe into his face?"

I could feel him roll his eyes without even looking at him. "If you must know, I've spoken to him briefly and he didn't take too lightly to my orientation, if you will. Besides, I was at the dance, too, you know. And he's an idiot." In a lighter tone, he continued, "That and he has the face you can't help but want to mar, don't you think?"

I turned to look at him incredulously and he flashed me one of his wolfish grins before nodding back to the field. "Enough talk about that little creep. You've had enough Kaoru time for one day. We've been sitting here with a field of two dozen sweaty, _fit _boys running around and we haven't even been looking at them! And you say you're here for moral support!" He scoffed.

"Uhm, Natsume's moral support, not yours, Kaoru, you dork."

There was another wave of a cheer when five bodies piled up on each other at one end of the field. Kaoru merely grinned, leaned back with his elbows propped up on the seats behind us and with a slow, growing smirk on his face. "Now _this _is what I'm talking about."

-;-

By the time the game had ended, Hotaru and Sumire had joined us on the bleachers and everybody else was making their way down the bleachers, going home after the end of a victorious match. Kaoru and Sumire were speaking animatedly about the soccer game—but not _about _the soccer game—Hotaru was checking her phone and I was busy watching the field as the team players circled the coach for one last talk.

It was strange.

As much as I tried to rid it from my mind, I couldn't help but think that when I _wasn't _with Natsume, I felt like a normal teenage girl. It was when he was around that I was reminded of all of the trouble that I'd been involved in after meeting him. To be fair, he'd warned me about it. I suppose I hadn't really taken him seriously until I'd learned about Aoi, but… when I'd told him I was ready for anything, I hadn't meant _this._

I could handle Grandmother Hyuuga and the entire Hyuuga clan but this? This was ridiculous. This seemed like something straight out of a bad movie. I still couldn't really wrap my mind around the changes since I'd changed high schools and the changes in my family ever since my father died. I'd gone from having two parents to having none. It really _had _been a memorable end of the year. To think, only two months have passed sinc—

"_You've got to be kidding me._"

I whipped my head around to eye the typically silent girl beside me who was now positively _choking _her phone in her hands. Her expression remained neutral and to an outsider looking in, Hotaru was looking very much how she usually did. But I could see the way her lips seemed to tighten around her mouth and the grip she had on her phone. Hotaru Imai was gonna blow.

_Run for flippin' cover._

I met Sumire's eyes from Hotaru's other side but before we could ask our roommate what the heck was going on, Hotaru was already on her feet and was stalking down the bleachers with the air of a woman set on a mission. I looked at Kaoru and Sumire before following, surprising myself by _not _tripping and falling the way down the stairs. By the time we had caught up with the madwoman, I noticed most of the soccer players still on the field, Persona-sensei and… a tall blonde hanging like a barnacle off Ruka's torso.

"Nogi," Hotaru said calmly, her arms at her sides and nonchalance in her voice. The look she sent her boyfriend was chilling. I watched as she moved her gaze from Ruka to the girl. Her voice dropped a pitch. "Piyo."

"Hotaru, it's not what you think!"

Hotaru didn't chuckle or well, do _anything. _Everybody seemed to hold their breath until 'Piyo' seemed to come back to life. "Hi, Hotaru! It's been a while since I've seen you!" she said cheerfully. _Very _cheerfully. She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and batted black eyes in our direction. "Ruka-kun, you were _so _good today! Your first goal was _amazing_! Let's go get some ice cream! My treat!"

Ruka tried to extract the girl who seemed to have a surprisingly strong grip on his waist and chuckled nervously, looking from one girl to the other until he said softly, "Piyo, we've been over this already. Hotaru's my girlfriend and this kind of behavior from you is absolutely—"

A loud scream of '_Noooo' _stopped Ruka mid-sentence and the girl seemed to latch onto him even more firmly, shaking her head under his arm like an errant child hoping for surrender. "I want _you!_ I've always wanted you! You're my Prince Charming, you're the only want I've ever wanted! Why do you like Hotaru?" she cried aloud, earning curious glances from the rest of the soccer players, even the ones from the opposing team. "Rukaaaaaaaa-kun! I rarely get to see you! Hotaru-chan, won't mind if we go on _one _date right Hotaru?"

Was she serious? I couldn't really tell. The girl's black eyes were glistening with unshed tears and her grip on Ruka didn't seem like it was going to go lax anytime soon. I felt a surge of incredulity roll up the length of my spine and I didn't have to look around to see that most of the group felt the same way. This girl was ridiculous.

_She was asking Ruka's girlfriend if she could go on a date with him. _

I shook my head wondering what the heck these city kids were on.

"Piyo, listen," Ruka pushed her arms away, stepping away from her in the process. "We're not going to do this again, okay? You're being completely irrational. I'm not the guy you think I am." He stepped forward and took one of Hotaru's hands, but she pulled it back. Not deterred in the least, Ruka put his arm around her waist, "Hotaru's the one I want. I'll be glad to spend time with you as a friend but if you like me as something more than that and if you're willing to put Hotaru's feelings on the line because of it, then I'm sorry to say we won't be able to hang out after this. I'm telling you this for the last time, Piyo. Do you understand?"

She shook her head, tears positively glittering in her eyes. "You're the only one that understands me! I never want us to separate! I thought you felt the same!"

I must have been really focused on the conversation happening between my roommate, her boyfriend and the random girl because I didn't notice Natsume was by my side until he gently touched my hand. I looked up quickly, feeling the tingling sensation in my hand travel right to my toes.

"Natsume."

He looked at the group around us before meeting my eyes once more. "Trust me," he said quietly, "—you don't want to be here right now. Come with me. I'll take you somewhere."

I nodded without thinking and vaguely, I was aware of Hotaru speaking up and Piyo's wailing. Sumire and Kaoru smirked knowingly, both whispering after us and I merely shook my head. They were both such idiots sometimes.

Natsume waited patiently until I turned around and without thinking, I boldly slipped my hand into his. I regretted it about half a minute later. What the hell had possessed me to do that? I thought it might have to do with that display with Hotaru and Ruka, or maybe all of that talk from Kaoru earlier, or maybe, if I really stopped denying it, I'd wanted to do it ever since I'd realized I _liked _him. Either way, I thought it might be weird if I suddenly pulled away and surprisingly, Natsume didn't seem to mind.

If anything, though he hadn't responded initially to my touch, his fingers had curved, just the slightest, in the smallest of squeezes. My heart wanted to soar out of my chest at this. When had we developed to _this _level? I really had to stop over thinking things and start enjoying the moment.

We'd reached the school in a matter of minutes and he half-turned and let go of my hand. "I just have to change," he said as a way of explaining.

"Okay," I laughed softly, watching closely as he put his hand on the doorknob almost roughly. From where I was standing, I could see his grip on the handle was almost enough to make it crumble. His knuckles were white. I was in the midst of rocking on my heels when I watched him abandon the door altogether and stride over.

What was he doing?

My heart started beating quickly and I was faintly aware of him taking my hand in his, warm and rough, before he pulled me into him and his lips caught mine in what was probably the softest kiss I've ever experienced. Which probably wasn't saying much but that was beside the point.

I couldn't think clearly. All I could think about was how soft his lips were and how right this felt. The arms he wrapped around my waist felt like they would burn me and the growing feeling in my chest, so large and bright, made me think if we kept this up, my lungs would deflate with how much room my heart was taking.

He was so beautiful.

I blinked twice when he pulled away abruptly. It was a rough jerk that stunned me, but his arms were still around my waist and when I opened my eyes, I saw red. It took a moment for my eyes to settle, but when they did, Natsume was looking away with a faint pink tint to his cheek and I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up in my throat.

"What was that for?" I could hear the pleased tint in my voice. I didn't know why I wasn't freaking out. Natsume had just kissed me out of nowhere and I was _calm_. What the hell? "Natsume?" It took me another moment to realize both of my hands were on his chest. And that he still hadn't changed.

_Mhhm, soccer uniform._

After a pause, he sighed and dropped his arms. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking," his voice was hoarse. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at me from beneath his eyelashes. When he caught my eye, he looked away and made his way back toward the change room door. "Just…stay there."

I laughed and told him I would.

My mind rewound, played back and paused several times before I realized I probably looked like an idiot, grinning like one at least. Instead, I tried to content myself in picturing him wearing his soccer uniform when he scored the winning goal. It probably wasn't a good thing because when I thought of that, I remembered just how stupid I must have looked tripping over the row in front of me when I'd debuted my signature 'happy dance'.

The crowd hadn't been pleased.

Sumire, Kaoru and Hotaru pretended they didn't know me.

_Jerks. _

The sound of the door opening made me turn around with a smile, but it dropped the moment I realized it wasn't Natsume. It was Akimoto. He waved and stopped in front of me. "Hey stranger! I'm surprised to see you here."

"I'm—" my voice broke off. He was making me nervous and confused. Hoping to make a point, I smiled and pointed to the door he'd just come from. "I'm actually just waiting for Natsume. He'll be right out, you see."

His lips twisted into a frown. "Right, I saw him in there. So, like I was saying before, we should hang out some time. I'm having a party at my house in two weeks, November 29th to be exact, and I was wondering if you'd like to come? I don't know how you feel about alcohol, but my parents are fine with having it at our house and lots of people from school will be invited. It'll be fun to let loose a little before the Christmas break." He inhaled a quick breath and looked at me through eyes the color of aquamarine. "So, what do you say? Will you come?"

I didn't think it was a good idea. I told him so, "Plus, the last time you had alcohol, you weren't exactly my favorite person."

Akimoto had the decency to blush a little bit. "I've apologized to Hotaru about that but she doesn't seem willing to forgive me. It was an honest mistake." He bit the inside of his cheek and I was instantly reminded of a schoolboy being chastised by a teacher. "Really. I, myself, was appalled with my behavior on the day of Hotaru's annual birthday bash."

I bit my lip. "I'll think about it."

His grin was infectious. "That's all I'm asking! Just make sure you tell me by the end of the week, alright? I have to make preparations to accommodate the amount of guests coming and if you are, I want to make it extra extravagant." He smiled brightly. "That, and my parents want to know how many friends I'll be having over this time."

The door opened up again and Natsume appeared. My breath got stuck in my throat when I saw him wearing his customary dark wash jeans and leather jacket. His sports bag was slung over one shoulder. When he saw the both of us, he didn't pause in his strides. Instead he blinked at me and turned his gaze on Akimoto. "Weren't you just leaving," Natsume asked coolly, stopping at my side.

"I was actually just having a very pleasant conversation with Mikan," Akimoto said cheerfully, tucking his hands in his pockets. "But I've got to be on my way. Mikan, remember what I said, ok? Just… think about it. I'll see you later." As if debating in his head, he nodded at Natsume. "Hyuuga."

Then he turned without another word.

I looked at Natsume to gauge his reaction but he was still looking off in the direction Akimoto had disappeared to. Hoping to distract him from what had just happened, I nudged him in the arm and smiled when he looked down at me, albeit, in annoyance. "So, we're going to your house?"

He sighed like he was talking to an errant child. I was immediately annoyed. _Hey! _You _kissed _me! Not the other way around! Well, not counting the first time. He put his hand at the small of my back and nudged me to start walking before he answered, "Yes. After what happened last time you were at my house, I wonder why you're so excited about it now. Didn't you have enough of the Hyuuga family for a lifetime?"

I walked purposefully toward his motorcycle and stopped in front of it before I raised an eyebrow. "I'm still with you, aren't I?"

He stopped to look at me closely before shaking his head. The corner of his lips tugged upward just a touch in an almost-grin. "Yeah, I guess you are."

-;-

Needless to say, by the time we pulled up into Natsume's massive driveway, I was feeling butterflies from the last time I'd been here. I didn't make a good impression, that much was for certain, and knowing that Grandmother Hyuuga still resided here actually made me feel a bit nauseous. The only upside from the last time I'd been here was the fact that instead of a huge Hyuuga gathering, there was only Natsume's immediate family and his grandmother at the house. And from what I'd seen, the house was huge. Bumping into Grandmother Hyuuga wasn't going to be very likely.

I turned to wait for Hotaru, Ruka and Aoi to ride up in Ruka's car when Natsume brushed his hand against my pinky to catch my attention. Immediately I turned around to face him. He looked like he was surprised with his actions as well and despite turning his head away, I could see the back of his neck reddening just the slightest.

The image made me grin. "Natsume? Are you okay?"

"Fine," he didn't turn to look at me. "I'm going to get my soccer stuff from Ruka."

I put my hand on his arm to stop him from leaving and frowned at him. "You're not mad Akimoto was talking to me while I was waiting for you… are you?" His red eyes seemed distracted before they turned back to meet mine and I waited anxiously when his eyes darkened.

"You've got to stop that," he murmured quietly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Stop biting your lip. I might kiss you again."

My mouth opened in surprise as I released my bottom lip. He breathed in sharply before making his way over to Ruka's car that had just parked directly behind his motorcycle. My mind reeled as I followed Hotaru into the Hyuuga household, wondering why my stomach was filling up with mutant bats to add to the raging butterflies.

We ended up on the second floor in a cozy living room with a grand piano in one corner and a number of sofas placed in a semi circle by the opposite wall for those who would like to listen. By the sofas, there was a coffee table made with a dark wood I couldn't place facing a large picture window over looking the gardens outside.

It was beautiful.

Hotaru immediately took a seat, throwing in an order to go along with the long list of food and drink Aoi was instructing one of the servers to get. Servers or maids? I didn't know. What was the difference anyway? This place was far too out of my league.

"Mikan-sama, I'm so glad you decided to come over! Ever since the last time you came here, I was afraid you'd never want to come ever again! Maybe if tonight goes well, I'll ask mum if you can sleepover for a weekend," Aoi said emphatically, almost looking like she wanted to clap her hands with excitement. "Christmas is coming up! Maybe we could get you to come before Christmas!"

I swallowed nervously. "Aoi, how many times have I told you to call me Mikan without the honorifics? And that would be… fine. But we'll see, ok?" I snuck a glance at Natsume, wondering how he felt about Aoi inviting me over to his house like this, out of the blue.

He was talking to Ruka as he sat on the piano bench, and as if feeling my eyes on him, his eyes met mine. He frowned. The reaction made me blink a little in confusion.

By the time Sumire and Koko had arrived, beverages were flowing and all of us were sitting around the table. Talk quickly moved to Akimoto, how he'd crashed Hotaru's birthday bash and what had happened at the Halloween dance a week prior.

"It's simple," Hotaru muttered, drinking her tea demurely while Ruka kept his arm securely around her. It seems they managed to solve the whole 'Piyo' problem. "He is like a cockroach that just won't die. I hate him." She bit off a piece of her dango almost savagely.

"You've got to admit though," Koko piped in, "—something like that has never happened at one of your bashes before. It was actually pretty funny. _I _sure didn't expect him to come waltzing in with Luna on his arm like he owned the place but there he was, waddling in with his tuxedo on and that punk ass grin on his face and _KERSPLAT!_ Right on the ground! That was definitely _one _way to liven up a party!"

"You only liked it so much because Nonoko ended up vomiting on him at the beginning of the party," Sumire said dryly, picking at her nails. "And did you see Luna's dress? I looked better, of course, though her shoes were pretty incredible."

"I hate him." Hotaru's voice asserted sullenly.

"But it was so _funny_! He kinda just belly flopped on the ground like a fish!" Koko leaned back into the seat and rubbed at the tears in his eyes. "Every time I picture it in my head, I want to burst out laughing. I never would have thought Kitsuneme had it in him!"

"Too bad it didn't happen in the middle of the ballroom," Sumire drawled. "Now _that _would've been something."

They were talking about Hotaru's birthday bash her parents had held on the 30th. I'd borrowed one of Sumire's dresses and we'd all arrived at Hotaru's house when scores of people had begun to arrive. It had been a messy ordeal but Natsume had managed to pull me away from the entrance and into the ballroom through one of his 'shortcuts' and I'd been standing near one of the tables situated by the walls when Akimoto had waltzed in with his date on his arm and with a breath doused with heavy liquor.

To make a long story short, he'd quickly made a beeline over to where I was standing with the usual crew. While Luna gave off an air of elegance, Akimoto had begun to make a fool out of himself by spouting nonsense about Natsume. I remembered him saying Natsume would never live up to his father and that he was a mistake and other things along the same tangent. Then he'd gone on to say I could do better and that when I was done with Natsume, he didn't mind having sloppy seconds.

While making his outstanding exit, Kitsuneme had stuck out a foot and Akimoto had gone down.

Hard.

Not too long afterward, Nonoko had puked on him. It was all very much accidental too, which was why Koko couldn't help laughing about it.

The rest, as they say, was history.

Except it really wasn't.

The next day, at the school dance, while he had two girls under his arm, all three of them had managed to 'fall' into the school pool. What they were doing by the pool when the dance was being held in the school's massive garden, nobody really knew. Somebody passing by had witnessed it and from experience, word seemed to travel fast. It didn't help that more than a dozen people witnessed three individuals, drenched, waiting for rides at the front of the school. The dance had gone well, despite the hiccup. I heard it had really been something, with the bonfire in the middle and the flowers in bloom despite the weather quickly cooling, but having spent the day watching movies with Natsume in his dorm room instead of going to the dance, I hadn't been able to have a front row seat to the spectacle. Nor did I want to.

"He's having a party in two weeks," Hotaru piped in after a moment, thoughtfully picking lint off of her skirt. "Not that I've been invited from the Prince himself. I suppose he's still sore I didn't invite him to my birthday party. Stupid boy," she murmured with a chuckle, plucking a pastry from the platter on the table. "When will he learn you don't just 'forget' to invite an Imai?"

"Well," I watched Sumire roll her eyes, "—if we don't end up getting invited, I say we all just crash the party. It'll be returning the favor, if you will. We should bring the entire Math club with us. Now _that _would be something!"

Koko smiled dreamily. "I knew there was a reason I liked you so much."

She didn't even look at him when she shoved him off the couch and onto the floor. Koko's squawk of indignation was drowned out by the Ruka and me laughing. Koko sat up on the ground, scratched his head and grinned like an idiot before he hoisted himself up and plopped right back into his previous seat. He even draped his arm none too subtly behind Sumire's seat. I didn't miss the dark look she sent him, but she didn't do anything afterwards and I shook my head at what a strange couple they were.

Natsume and Aoi were talking quietly so I turned to Hotaru and shrugged. "I was actually invited by him today, if that helps. Did you guys actually want to go? I didn't know you'd be interested in one of his parties."

"Mikan!" Koko whirled around in his seat, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, but _are you kidding me_? You know I love you but sometimes you can be such an idiot!"

My jaw dropped. "Like you should be talking!"

Koko waved off my incredulous statement. "The whole point in the _Take Akimoto Down Plan_ is to show everybody just who he really is. He's a trafficker, Mikan," he raised a hand, palm up. "He's having a party," he raised the other. He moved them up and down. "Tell me you understand what I'm getting at!"

"Yeah, yeah," I sincerely hoped he never moved like that again. "Just never do that dance ever again."

"What worries me is the fact that he's invited Mikan. Only Mikan," Hotaru murmured quietly. "And as for your little speech there, Yome, if he's invited Mikan along, do you really think he's stupid enough to get to his usual antics with the drugs? He's stupid, but he's not _that _stupid. The only reason he was able to fool so many girls and be able to cover up his tracks was because he tends to _think things through_, which is more than I can say about you."

"Hey!" Koko squawked, before pouting sullenly. "Or _maybe _he invited only Mikan along so that he can _give her drugs_!"

"I'd like to think I'm smarter than that," I said dryly, pulling at my ponytail and throwing it into a messy bun. "Besides, I agree with Hotaru—"

"Hey!"

"—Akimoto seems much smarter than to think I won't suspect him the whole night, if I did end up wanting to go. And I hope you guys think I'm smart enough not to take anything he gives me."

I picked at one of the cream filled pastries and waited for somebody to say something. Even Koko was usually quiet and Natsume… Natsume had been staring out the window at his perch on the piano bench ever since we started this conversation. The sun was setting and I wondered, briefly, what was so interesting out there that he couldn't seem to be bothered to take his eyes off of it.

"He likes her."

I had barely seen his lips move but those three words made a chill run down my spine and gooseflesh dot the skin of my arms. Everybody but Sumire was quiet. "I _told _you, Imai!"

"It's because she's affiliated with the Hyuuga family," Hotaru grumbled, leaning back into Ruka's arm. "But pray tell, Hyuuga. What have you seen?"

Natsume sighed and half-turned in his seat in order to address the whole room. "I was late picking her up today at her rehearsal but when I arrived, I overheard him." I could feel the heat of Sumire's stare on me and despite knowing what he was talking about, I found my body heat rising. Natsume had heard all of that? Why wasn't he looking at me? What happened to the whole 'honesty' thing anyway? He really had some explaining to do. "He likes her. I have no doubt."

Hotaru turned her piercing gaze on me and I stiffened. "Why didn't you tell us this in the beginning, Stupid?" It was a rhetorical question, I knew. She ran a hand through her short hair and muttered, "Well, this just makes it even more complicated, doesn't it? If Akimoto _likes _her, then he's not going to put her through the drug scene. If anything, that makes our case even worse. How are we supposed to catch him in the act when he's always going to be _watching _his act?"

Ruka whispered a couple of words in her ear before she sighed, leaned against his arm and closed her eyes. I watched them for a moment before turning my eyes back to Natsume who immediately looked away.

I frowned. Then before I could say anything, Natsume said quietly, "I knew getting her in this would make things more complicated."

A flash of indignation spiked through my vision and all I could see was Natsume. _He was such an idiot_! "Well, I'm _sorry_ for making your life difficult, Natsume! Because, you know, I was totally _throwing_ myself at him, right? Because I really just _asked _for all of this, right? Do you really think I'm _trying _to slow down all of your plans? I'm not! I'm trying to help!"

"But you're not," Hotaru opened her eyes to look at me. "If anything, you're making things even worse. We had a _plan _before. Now it's going right down the drain. All of those months of work, gone. Thanks for that, Mikan." She turned her head away and despite my anger still working in my veins, I wasn't blind to the fact that a tear had managed to escape her eyes.

Ruka looked alarmed.

I couldn't believe this. Did they think I was _trying _to complicate things? I mean, I admit, if I wasn't here, they wouldn't have to think babysitting me was a priority but to blame me for _everything? _Wasn't that a bit much? Was I really that useless? Was I really that much of a burden? And to think, the whole time all I'd been wanting to do was _help _them!

"Back to the drawing board," Koko muttered.

_Koko_.

That was the nail in the coffin.

This was unbelievable.

I rose to my feet with anger so hot in my veins, I thought I could hear the sizzle of steam coming out of my pores. I looked at one face to the next until I reached Natsume's and the lack of expression on his face almost broke my heart. I'd probably feel it later, but at the moment, I was too angry to even think that I happened to like him.

Maybe if somebody punched him in the face and he got a shiner, maybe then I'd be less attracted to him. I tore my eyes away from him before walking to the door. "Thanks a lot guys." I wanted to shout it, I really did. But the only thing that came out was a soft murmur. I wanted to curse my feeble voice to the next century.

Natsume's voice stopped me as I yanked the door open. "Let me drive you."

I ripped my hand away from the doorknob and turned so fast, my vision blurred. "You can just forget _that_," I hissed, like a cat ready to attack, "Perhaps I'll call _Akimoto _to come pick me up! That sounds like something I would do, right?" I shot a glance at Koko and inhaled slightly. "And you might want to watch out for Akimoto, Koko. While you were away today, Akimoto was named your understudy. Or maybe you should watch out for me," I laughed. "Because apparently I'd _want _him to play Romeo, right?"

And without looking back, I left.

_Unbelievable._

_

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_

_Please don't hate me. I have good intentions, I promise. _:) _But I DO hope you were paying attention this chapter. Seriously. OH, HAPPY BELATED CANADA DAY!_

_Review if you liked? _


	22. Let the Flames Begin

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi who is bloody brilliant. In some ways.**  
**

**Dedication: **This chapter is for those readers, new and old, who continue to have faith in me (AND MY PROMISES) despite past failures with updating. To all of the skeptics who thought I'd take another three months to update (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), I'm glad I proved you wrong! :D Thanks for supporting me guys. I can _feel _it from your reviews.

**Author's Note: **Holy jeebus. I was _definitely _not expecting all of those reviews from the last chapter. I thought the longer it took me to update, the more readers would abandon the story. I'm glad it wasn't the case. So I replied to a few reviews but I kept finding myself going back to writing the next chapter instead. I'll try to get to the rest of your reviews but I'm really trying to finish _TBATB _before the summer ends because if I don't, you're all going to be in for a long wait for chapters once school starts up again and I hate to disappoint. That aside, the next chapter is _definitely _going to take more than a week to finish. I'll aim for two. :) Happy reading! I hope you're sitting somewhere comfortable because this chapter is a little different than the rest in format because three songs run the length of the chapter and because it's more than 10K flippin' words long. ;)

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**Chapter 22. Let the Flames Begin**

-;-

_Will your system be alright_  
_When you dream of home tonight?_  
_There is no message we're receiving_  
_Let me know is your heart still beating?_  
Human – **The Killers**

-;-

I'm not trying to play the victim and I'm not trying to make this all about me. It's about Aoi, I know it is and I know walking out must have been a cowardly move on my part. But who gave them the right to throw all of the blame on me? Ever since the beginning, I felt like I was trying to help people that just didn't want it.

Like Sumire.

I just wanted her to open up some more. I still knew nothing about her parents, why she wouldn't let herself trust anybody or anything about her. I didn't know why she wouldn't give Koko a chance to prove her wrong. I didn't know why she even decided to switch from an all-girls Catholic school to Alice Academy. Was it wrong to want to know her, to want to see who she really was?

And Natsume.

I didn't even want to _start _with Natsume. At the beginning, I didn't even want anything to do with him. I just wanted to know what had everybody so tense. I wanted answers. Was that so wrong? Didn't I deserve that much, especially when, from what everybody kept telling me, Akimoto wanted something to do with me and that he was dangerous? Didn't I have the right to know, then? And then I just wanted to help Aoi in some way, because what were my priorities if I'd learnt about what had happened to her and I did _nothing?_ What would my father say if I'd done something like that? He'd be disappointed, I knew. And that wasn't the type of person I was. So I tried to help. I just didn't understand why I was being blamed for things I couldn't even control.

I inhaled a shaky breath and tried to calm down my racing heart, reminding myself they probably didn't mean what they'd said.

"_I knew getting her in this would make things more complicated."_

They were just frustrated, that was all. Everybody said things they didn't mean when they were frustrated. How could I condemn them for that? Thinking back, I _was_ a burden, wasn't I? Instead of helping, I was doing nothing but making things more complicated. Natsume had been right, but that didn't make the pill any easier to swallow. I just wanted to help. I hated being the damsel in distress and despite loving to read the scenarios in books, I'd never liked the role. And it seemed the more I thought about it, the more I kept reminding myself I kept being saved.

I hated being saved.

"_If anything, you're making things even worse.  
All of those months of work, gone. Thanks for that, Mikan."_

Was it so much to ask to want to feel wanted?

To make matters worse, I really didn't know where I was going in Natsume's house. The place was so damn big. I knew we were on the second level, but which way had we gone from the entrance? This was the last thing I needed, to be lost.

_Way to make a grand exit only to find you can't find your way out of the place, you loser._

I shook my head, reined in the shriek of frustration ready to tumble from my lips and descended one of the stairways I thought I remembered using. Key word: _thought_. At this rate, I was going to die getting lost in this place and the cops would find me in ten years as a skeleton clinging to the banisters. C.O.D.? Hunger.

I was so pathetic.

"You're not supposed to be here," a deep voice, tinged with annoyance, muttered from behind me.

I half-squeaked, half-screamed as I turned around, putting a hand to my heart as I tried to calm the damn thing when I saw that it was just Seiji. He waited for a reaction, but I was too busy being shocked to answer. He still had his messy black hair, windswept, and eyes that were shadowed in the hallway. He looked so much like Natsume, I almost had a double take.

Nervously, I tucked my hair behind my ear and tried to smile. "Hi Seiji, I'm actually on my way out. Do you mind showing me the way?"

He scoffed, as if commenting on my lack of direction, before he narrowed his eyes. "Who did you come here with? What the hell are you doing in the dungeon, anyway?" While he asked, he walked toward me, somehow managing to slouch the way over with that familiar, permanent scowl on his face. "When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer," he added firmly, stopping before me.

"You know, when you said that, I was reminded of Grandmother Hyuuga," I blurted out, wincing when his features seemed to darken. "Err, not that you're…"

I hadn't noticed before, because the last and first time I'd met him, he'd been sitting the whole time, but he was so much taller than me, it was downright intimidating. I think he might have heard me swallow nervously. I tried to change the subject. "I came with Natsume, Hotaru, Aoi and our other friends. We got into an argument and I left trying to find the front door and," I gestured to the hallway of the 'dungeon' and tried to smile again, "—looks like I didn't find it."

"Looks like it," he deadpanned, tucking his hands in his pocket and nodding to the direction I'd come. "I'll show you out. Do you have a ride back to your house?"

_Oh God_.

I wanted to smack my head up against the wall, but Seiji already thought I was a maniac and going through with my thoughts was only going to reinforce his suspicions. I tried to find a suitable response. "I'll just call a cab to take me back to school," I was surprised with how fast I could think on my feet. "And thank you for showing me out."

"You're annoying."

"Yes, so I've heard," I said evenly. Surprisingly, I wasn't even bothered by this. It was probably because I was so used to Natsume saying it to me. Or maybe it was because I'd just been told how much of a burden I was. Either way, I had more important things to worry about and Seiji, well, he wasn't one of them.

We walked in silence until we reached the front doors and I thanked him again, profusely, before taking out my cell phone and asking the operator for the numbers for a local cab company. Before she could so much as reply, Seiji had taken my phone and flipped it shut with a neutral expression on my face.

He didn't react much when I shouted, "Hey!"

Instead he commented lightly, "You have a really loud voice."

"Maybe it's because you're being a pain in my ass!"

He blinked, looking extremely surprised, and I was too strung out on emotions to really be embarrassed by my sudden outburst. I _was _surprised, though, when he turned his head away and chuckled. _Chuckled. _What the heck was the world coming to when Hyuugas _chuckled?_ My God.

_He was actually kind of cute when he laughed like that._

He composed himself quickly, however, but had a small smile on his face. "I was not expecting that," he murmured, clearing his throat and looking at me curiously. "You're a strange girl, you know that?"

I could feel exasperation flowing in my veins. "Yes, I'm a strange girl that would appreciate getting my phone back, thank you," I offered him my hand, waiting for him to deposit my cell phone into my palm. "You can get back to doing whatever you were doing before I so rudely interrupted."

"I was doing nothing of great importance," Seiji muttered, opening the door and ushering me out. "And it would seem that you were in luck. Instead of having to wait for a cab to come and pick you up and having to pay the fare, it just so happens I'm heading out to pick up Grandmother's medicine. I'll ask the driver to drop you off."

After getting over the initial surprise, I shook my head. "No, it's fine. I really need some time alone anyway."

"I insist," his voice was low. I turned to look at him curiously, but his expression was even and when he saw me looking, he put his hand on the small of my back to usher me to what I'd later see was the garage. I thought about refusing, but he murmured in what I thought was a teasing way, "I'm trying to decrease my global footprint," and I just couldn't resist.

As the car, sleek and black, rounded the house and headed back down the driveway, I peeked from the corner of my eyes and spied my companion, sitting with one arm draped against the side of the door and his leg crossed. Immediately, I thought, _that's a stupid way to sit if there was a car accident_, but instead of voicing it out loud, I merely exaggerated my movements as I clicked my seatbelt on.

He was watching me and I jiggled the seatbelt before looking at him pointedly. He shook his head, a wry set to his lips before he followed suit. As if remembering the dinner I'd had with all of the Hyuugas, Seiji shifted in his seat until he was slouching and propped his head up with a hand under his chin.

I cleared my throat. "So, you're getting medicine for Grandmother, huh? What's that about?"

He laughed wryly. "Grandmother is not well. She is certainly not the youngest Hyuuga in the family and I'm certain you have heard that, the older one gets, the greater the likelihood their health fails them." He shrugged, grey eyes looking past me to my window. "She is eighty-seven. Though she likes to believe she is stronger than an ordinary lady, she hasn't been holding out very well for months." At the look on my face, he laughed drily, "I suppose that front she put up last month had you convinced."

My mind raced. "Well, _yeah_. I didn't think she was eighty-seven, that's for sure! She had so much…" I wracked my brain for the words but was coming up short. "She still seemed very… aggressive, and she was still walking just fine! What's wrong with her exactly?"

He exhaled, low and smooth. "Nothing is _wrong _with her. She's just getting old. Her heart isn't as good as it used to be but she's a Hyuuga and she eats right." He paused and looked at me carefully. "She's outlived a great number of others that have gone on before her. But if you want specifics, you could just ask Natsume. He's Grandmother's favorite."

"Why?"

Seiji inhaled quickly. "He's from the direct branch of Hyuugas whereas the others are merely relatives. He's pure." He laughed lowly, "—you could say."

Instantly, I was brought back to the Hyuuga dinner when Natsume and his grandmother had gone into a separate room to have a 'chat'. But Natsume was Grandmother's favorite? Something just didn't fit right. "So what about Tsubasa-senpai? I mean, in traditional families, usually the eldest son is the favorite, right?" As an afterthought, I straightened in my seat and added, "And what's so much better about the Hyuugas than the Imais?"

Seiji chuckled and uncrossed his legs. "When I offered you a ride back to your school, I wasn't expecting something similar to the Spanish Inquisition." I started to apologize but he continued smoothly, "The Hyuugas are a powerful family. Their empire stretches across the entirety of the globe and it is the Hyuuga family name that started it all. The Hyuugas are an old name, dipped in old money and constantly bringing in more. Grandmother is a Hyuuga, the oldest of the bunch now. She's been brought up to favor the purest of our line. The Imais and the like are nothing more than second branches who will always be second best to the Hyuugas."

"That's a little pompous."

He shrugged. "We've been taught about our roles within the Hyuuga family since we were old enough to understand and have come to accept it," he explained simply as he brushed off his trousers and then flicked open the compartment under his seat. He pulled out a water bottle. "Would you like one?"

I blinked, distracted, "No, thank you."

He brought the bottle to his lips and drank quickly. "In addition to that, Natsume's father was Grandmother's eldest child and only son. While she managed to have several children after him, they were all women and as you know, women do not carry the Hyuuga name. That makes Natsume's family the purest of all of the present Hyuuga. As for Natsume being the favorite, I don't really know the answer to that question."

I felt the drop of disappointment in my stomach and scrambled to find out _something _from Natsume's past. When I thought about it, I knew _nothing _about Natsume other than what was happening with Aoi. I needed _something_. "I'm sure you have an idea…?"

Seiji was momentarily distracted when the driver cleared his throat and informed us quickly that we were five minutes from Alice Academy. I tried not to show just how anxious I wanted Seiji to answer.

He turned back to face me and eyed me curiously. "Though I have no basis to say this, you asked for my opinion, so I shall give it with all of the bias that comes with your rather loaded question." I snorted at his arrogance, but he merely continued, "Tsubasa has never been much of an heir. You've met him, I've heard. I'm sure you can tell he doesn't care very much about representing the Hyuuga family to the best of his ability. He has been caught in several fights, he has a name amongst the women around Japan and his presence in the Academy went unnoticed by teachers, academically speaking." His lips turned up into what I was quickly understanding as the 'Hyuuga smirk' before he finished, "Natsume is the perfect son. His grades are amongst the top of his class. He captains the swimming, soccer and what I know to be track when the time comes. He has never once been seen with a female interest. He attends charities and other organized events on behalf of the Hyuuga family and his actions have always been considered charming when mentioned in the media. I'll say it again, Natsume is the perfect son. It makes sense for Grandmother to love him so and more often than not, Natsume can get his way with Grandmother. He knows his influence, if you haven't put the pieces together from our last family dinner."

I breathed out shakily, trying to process it all. I could understand it, I supposed. I even recalled the first real argument I had with Natsume about our picture being on that news site. Natsume had gotten so angry when they'd posted that picture of us and with Seiji saying Natsume had never been like that with any girl before, the logic just clicked. Natsume had been able to dissolve my second confrontation with Grandmother with a word and had managed to persuade her to let me stay for dinner with a mere chat. I even remembered how the whole family had given him a wide berth once he'd arrived. Even though the logic made sense, something still bothered me. "Why is Grandmother so superficial?" I said in a whisper, barely noticing that we'd arrived at the school. "I mean, why would she favor Natsume so much because of what he does to the Hyuuga name?"

Seiji shrugged and I was surprised when he patted my knee gently. "That was just speculation," Seiji reminded me softly. "But there's a lot to the Hyuuga family that can't be understood. Don't worry too much about it."

"Yeah…" I shook my head, smiling slightly as I unbuckled my seatbelt. "Well, thanks for the ride and for answering my questions." I stepped out of the car, turning to peek back in. "I know I can be annoyingly curious and persistent sometimes."

"You like him," Seiji shrugged, "It's understandable."

I scowled and shut the door in his grinning face.

He didn't have to remind me. I was fully aware I liked a stupid, awkward, tactless, arrogant boy who thought I was nothing more than a burden he liked to kiss.

_Sweet._

-;-

_N-Now that that don't kill me_  
_Can only make me stronger._  
_I need you to hurry up now_  
_'Cause I can't wait much longer._  
Stronger – **Kanye West**

-;-

Though it may have been considered – or okay, though it _was – _cowardly and immature not to speak to them after what happened at Natsume's, I was stubborn. What was I supposed to do? Apologize for wrecking their plans? I'd already done that back at his house and it wasn't like _they _were too bothered by it either.

Sumire and Hotaru had walked right into our room while I was watching TV and completely bypassed me on the couch to head to the kitchen or their rooms. The tension was a bit much and while the hairs on my arm were standing on end the closer they passed by the couch, my stomach roiled with uneasy nerves. I really never expected this to happen to us. Sumire and I were just beginning to patch up our differences and Hotaru had always been so understanding and objective in her opinions. To find that I'd finally broken _everything _between us…it really was unbelievable.

It had been a good full day without speaking to them. Sumire wouldn't make eye contact and Hotaru was always gone from the apartment dorm before I woke up or left. They were both in their rooms now, though, and just knowing that was enough to distract me. Sitting on the couch, trying to pay attention to some useless soap opera wasn't distracting me enough and after steeling myself, I lurched away from the couch and walked over to Hotaru's door. I knocked a few times before I heard a tired sigh and a _come in._

I inhaled quickly, opened the door and stepped inside.

She had little earbuds in as she listened to music, but when I walked in, she pulled them out, half-turned in her swivel chair and settled her neutral velvet eyes on me. I pulled my hand away from the doorknob and twisted both of my hands behind my back. "Hey," I said softly, peeking up at her from underneath my eyelashes. "Can I talk to you?"

Her gaze was unnerving. I felt like a bug underneath a microscope when she looked at me. Finally, though, she sighed and gestured to her bed. "What is it?"

"Is the plan really completely ruined because of me?" I asked, feeling the heat rushing in my veins with shame. "I mean, I didn't mean to wreck things and I'm sorry if I did. But I'll do anything to help! I really want to help Aoi. She didn't deserve what he did to her and nobody else deserves it either. I want to help put him away, if that's what it takes."

Hotaru inhaled softly and tapped her pen against her thigh. I couldn't tell what was going on in her head and truthfully, her unchanging expression made it difficult to see whether or not she was still disappointed in me. What she said next bothered me far more than it should have.

"You shouldn't bother yourself with these concerns anymore, Mikan," she said bluntly, crossing her right leg over her left. "I'm sure Aoi appreciates that you want to help and we all know that Akimoto deserves nothing more than to rot in a controlled environment, but we Hyuugas will handle the situation accordingly. You may go back to handling your own affairs." She raised her eyebrows before turning back to resume whatever work she'd been doing before I'd interrupted. I could only stand there with my mouth open, stunned. Her next words made the marrow in my bones drain. "Your mother is still missing, isn't she?"

My mind was drawing a blank. My mouth opened and closed trying to say something, _anything. _Finally, I ended up blurting out, "My uncle is handling things."

"Have you spoken to him after that first time you found out?"

I closed my eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning. _What was she saying? _I grabbed at her comforter with a fist and exhaled quickly. "Yes. I mean – yes! No! _No_, I haven't. There were other things—"

Hotaru didn't turn around in her seat, but cut me off easily. "Well, now those other things are no longer your concern. You should worry about your own family and I'll worry about mine. Besides," her voice seemed to quiet before strengthening once again, "—you're the female lead in next month's play. You've only got three weeks left before show time and with that brain of yours, I'm sure you've got a lot of work left to do."

I didn't answer for the longest time. Instead, I watched lifelessly as Hotaru continued writing fluidly across the book open on her desk. I laughed hollowly, "Yeah… I guess you're right."

Eventually, I got to my feet and headed toward the door with my mind still spinning with thoughts that weren't quite so clear. Through the haze, Hotaru said in a monotone, "Apparently there are letters for you at the post office. The lady wouldn't give them to me though."

I nodded but remembering Hotaru wasn't exactly _looking _at me, I cleared my throat, "Thank you." She hummed and I took it as my cue to leave. As I closed the door, I heard a shuffle from my left and my head snapped up just in time for me to see Sumire's black hair disappearing around the corner and the soft snap of her door as the knob twisted back into place.

My heart twisted.

I didn't know how long I stood out there in the hallway, but I figured they wouldn't want to have dinner with me anytime soon. I had to have dinner. I hadn't been able to stomach much at breakfast or lunch and I wasn't stupid enough to think not eating would be fine.

Sighing softly, I pushed myself up from the wall, grabbed my phone and wallet from the table in the living room and quietly slipped out of the apartment. I tried texting Kaoru to see if he was up for dinner, but he was already having dinner with his parents. Anybody else I was remotely close to were involved with what had happened at Natsume's house and I didn't think I wanted to see any of them after hearing what Hotaru had said. Kitsuneme and Nobara could have worked, but I didn't want to give Kitsuneme any ideas and Nobara, well… she just reminded me too much of what was going on with Natsume. To add to that, she would probably ask where the others were and I still didn't want to talk about it.

"_You should worry about your own family and I'll worry about mine."_

And yet _Sumire _and _Koko _were allowed to help out? I just didn't understand where all of this was coming from. We were _fine. _We were getting places with the previous plan! And then all of a sudden, Akimoto taking an interest in me was screwing everything up? I just didn't… I really didn't understand how that _worked. _

"Hi, I'm here to pick up my post?" I asked the lady manning the front. She was a middle-aged lady with brown hair and kind brown eyes. She looked like a mother, with a kind smile on her face with little wrinkles around her eyes. I tried to smile back.

"And what's your name, sweetie? Did you bring your school card with you?"

"Mikan Sakura," I said quickly, fishing my wallet out from my pocket. I grimaced at my school picture and reluctantly handed it over, watching as she looked from the picture to my face twice before handing it back.

"Alrighty, here you go," she handed me a thick stack. "You haven't been checking your mail for a while, have you?" She chuckled.

I smiled and agreed with her before waving goodbye. I stuffed my picture back into my wallet and stuffed my wallet back into my hoodie before riffling through the pile. _Principal, Dorm expenses, Unknown, Azumi Yuka._

I blinked at that last one before I tripped over to one of the benches just outside of the apartment complex and ripped open the thick package from my mother. It was a worn brown envelope and I greedily stuck my hand into it to pull out the contents. Several papers fluttered to the ground but I didn't care very much. I could only look in surprise at the wooden picture frame with a picture of my mother, who was smiling sadly back at the camera.

Her hair was still a luscious dark brown, her skin was still abominably pale and her eyes were still the color of hazel, with more green than brown. And she still looked so sad. Her eyes looked hollow and her smile didn't reach her eyes. Instead, there was something so melancholic about the area around her lips and eyes. Her smile did nothing to me. She was beautiful, she looked the same, but there was something so very wrong about how my mother looked. I suppose I must've gotten used to her expressions when we still lived together, but the distance for the last two months seemed to have done the trick. My mother was still beautiful, that much was true, but her expression was so haunting, all I could see behind my eyelids were my mother's eyes.

When my mother had dropped me off at Alice Academy, I'd said she was blind, that sometimes I felt like she didn't even know I was there. But perhaps she wasn't the only one. I mean…she'd looked like this for _months _after my father passed away, and yet it took me two months to get my head out of my ass long enough to realize I kept thinking about myself rather than realize my mother was this… _depressed. _

I inhaled sharply and gathered up the loose pieces of paper that I had dropped on ground, trying to erase her expression from my mind. Instead, I sorted out the three pieces of paper and put them in order before I began to read:

_Mikan,_

_I don't know where to start, baby, but I know I owe you so much. I owe you for leaving, for being a coward, for a lot of things. But what I know you want is an explanation. I hope you'll be able to understand a little from this._

_I never wanted to lie to you and sweetie, when I first told you I was going on tour, that was what I really thought I was going to do. I never intended to leave you to go on this…selfish trip. I hope you believe that. If you don't, I could hardly blame you. I've never been much of a mother, have I? Especially after Izumi. He was always the one who took to parenting better than I did. I know you loved hi—_love_ him. I don't know if you can understand or not, because you've always been so strong, but I couldn't _be there _for you, be strong for you, like you deserved. _

_I feel so lost without him._

_I know what you must think._

_I abandoned you. I'm good for nothing. I left you in the moment you needed me the most._

_Mikan, for that, I'm so, so sorry. As I sit writing this letter, I wish I could take it back. I wish I could fly back to Tokyo and pick you up to take you with me. But I can't. I don't know if you can understand or not, but…if I came back, I'd still feel the same. Don't you see? Everyday that I saw you coming home from school with one of your books in your hands, I felt like I was suffocating, like I couldn't do anything for you. I tried to cook for you but everything became a mess. I tried to help you with your homework, but I only ended up watching you breeze through your studies. I tried to talk to you about whatever you were reading, but I could never get the words out of my mouth. I tried, Mikan, I tried so hard, but I realized I couldn't give you anything you needed if my head and heart weren't in it 100 percent. _

_It seems so selfish. I didn't put you first. I don't know what I was thinking but the little pieces in my mind seem to be able to pull some logic from it. I couldn't give you anything you needed. Izumi had always been so much better at judging what was wrong. He was just…amazing like that. But I'm sure you know that. And back home, when you came home, it was like… it was like… Mikan, it was like a reminder of your father and how everything was going to go down the drain once everything was left to me. _

_I can tell what you're thinking, or at least, I can tell what I'd be thinking in your place. Everything has been going down the drain ever since dad passed, huh? And it's not getting any better while I'm away. I need to find myself, Mikan. I see now that I've always relied too heavily on Izumi. He took care of you. He cooked. He painted. He was the joy in our lives. He was larger than life. When he left, I felt like nothing. _

_Sweetie, I love you. I hope that my leaving hasn't made you doubt it and I know this letter might seem to suggest otherwise but I love you so much, my heart aches for you. I could never give you anything you needed after Izumi, except my love. If you have doubted it, I've failed so much more as a parent than I'd thought. You're a brilliant girl. You're so strong. Your father would rant and rave to anybody who'd listen about how proud he was to be your father and when we'd lie awake at night, he could talk about you endlessly. He knew you in a way that I didn't. I hope that, when I _do _come back, we'll be able to have that kind of relationship. We've always differed so much in opinion, haven't we? Your will and strength after your father died…it might seem strange but I found it intimidating. _

_When I'm not dreaming about how things could have been different, I think of you._

_Mikan, you are the most important person in my life now. I know I've done a poor job of showing it, but I'm hoping everything will fit together in my head soon. I've made a few friends during my travels and I have been going to a few meetings of, what is called, the _Hana Hime Organization_. It is comprised of women, only, and their opinion about men. You must be rolling your eyes at the moment, but it really does help. I'm never going to forget your father, and like I told you before, I will never marry another man. Ever. Your father was my other half. Nobody can take his place. That being said, don't freak out with what I tell you next. Remember, he was the only one. He _is _the only one. No one else. _

_So I met a man named Shiki at Hana Hime. You're probably wondering why he was there when women are only allowed. Shiki is the founder's nephew. It seems he has been helping more than talking with the other women. He isn't a doctor, nor is he anything more than a friend, but he is quite frank with his opinions. It was he who suggested I write you this letter. It was he who told me I was an idiot. I don't know what else to say, other than that you need not worry about me. I'm in good hands and it's up to me to figure things out. _

_I trust that you're in good hands as well. I called Kazu sometime last week and well, you found out about him, huh? I don't know him very well, but Izumi has always told me that he'd trust all of our lives to his brother and I couldn't think of anybody else that could take care of you while I was gone on tour. He told me… you're Juliet and starring in a play? I'm so proud of you, sweetie. And you know, don't you, that your father would be the proudest father in the world if he'd known?_

_I love you so much, Mikan._

_I've given my number to Kazu, so give me a ring if you ever need to talk. I'll try my very best to start being the mother you deserve and you can bet that I'll be sitting front row at your play in a few weeks. Maybe then we'll have the long conversation you so rightly deserve. I hope you can bear with this for now. I'll see you soon, honey._

_Then it'll just be us against the world. _

_Love,  
Mom_

I must've read that letter six or seven times. Each time, I would blink away tears and cuss before another confused thought ran rampant in my head. Then I'd read the letter again trying to make some more sense of it. The only thing I could glean from her was the fact that she was so… insecure. And had some strange delusion that I needed something more when I didn't. The only thing I really needed was _her. _We needed each other. Didn't she understand that?

_Oh, Mom. Was seeing me everyday really that hard for you?_

Fighting the instinct to read the letter, yet again, I pulled the Principal's letter from the bottom of the pile and ripped it open. He apologized about a few things he had no business apologizing for and hoped we could have dinner someday soon to talk about a few things and get to know each other. He'd ended the letter saying he wanted to get to know his niece and that if I needed anything, _"…anything, you should know that I'll always be here for you, alright? Not because your mother asked me to, but because you're family and if I've learned anything about family, it's that you don't leave anyone behind." _

Maybe Hotaru was right. Maybe I _did _need to mind my own damn business and take care of my family. God knows my family was just as messed up as Natsume's…

Brushing the last of my tears away, I bypassed the letter about my dorm expenses entirely and ripped open the letter with the blank front. It didn't say who sent it but only where it should be sent. I should have been more wary, I suppose, but with that loaded letter from my mother and the Principal, well, I didn't think anything could surprise me more.

I was wrong.

_Sakura,_

_If you're reading this, not writing my name on the cover was a smart thing after all. I won't beat around the bush, so to speak, so let's get down to the meat of the business. We need to talk. Soon. Call me if you want to set something up. The number is listed down below._

_Luna Koizumi_

What business did she have with me? She said we _needed _to talk but as far as I was concerned, she'd never tried to speak two words with me that wasn't a complete insult to me, my friends, or my family. I stuck the letter into my pocket, gathered up my mother's package and the Principal's letter before heading back to the apartment.

She really had some nerve. After threatening me, judging me and mocking me, she wanted to _talk? _What on earth did we have to talk about? From the looks of things, she'd been right to assume I wouldn't have looked twice at the letter had she included her name on the front. My mind was already filled with thoughts about my mother. I really didn't need to think about Luna drama to go along with every other school related problems I was having.

I pressed my lips together once I'd closed the door to my room and placed mom's picture frame gingerly on my bedside table next to the one with us as a family. All of the other letters I shoved into the drawer. I all but fell onto my bed and fished Luna's letter from my pocket.

It was sent three days ago.

Should I give her the chance to talk or not? I _was _a little curious as to what she had in mind and to be honest, what if she wanted to clear the air? God knows I'd never done anything to harm her… well, other than that one volleyball to the face, but I hadn't done that on _purpose. _Maybe hashing things out with her wouldn't be so bad. What could possibly happen if _I _was calling all of the shots? She sent a message to me and was _requesting _we talk. If I gave her the where and when, what could possibly go wrong?

Plus, according to Hotaru and the rest of the gang, I wasn't going to be involved in their problems any longer, right? What was stopping me from doing whatever the hell I wanted without having to tell them where I was going and have somebody tailing me to keep me out of trouble?

In the end, my stomach made the decision for me. It growled, loud and long.

I rolled my eyes, fished my cell from my pocket and punched in her number with confident strokes. She answered at the second ring. _"Luna, speaking," _she sang.

"You said you wanted to talk," I murmured into the phone without preamble. "Dinner in twenty minutes at McDonalds on Moegi street. Don't bring your friends and I won't bring mine."

"_Done," _her answer was quick and annoyed, _"Anything _else, _Your Highness?"_

"Yes," I could feel her sarcasm oozing from the phone and called it with a bitchy nonchalance I didn't know I had. "Don't be late."

-;-

_I give it all my oxygen_  
_So let the flames begin,_  
_So let the flames begin._

_This is how we'll dance when_  
_When they try to take us down._  
_This is what will be, oh glory._  
Let the Flames Begin – **Paramore**

-;-

Luna was sitting in one of McDonald's booths in a far corner of the joint with her large purse—I couldn't name if my life depended on it—resting beside her. She was wearing a sleek black dress with a light, white cardigan over top and strappy, silver shoes on her dainty feet. Her blond hair was pin straight, flowing over her shoulders like a waterfall of gold. She was pretty and looked ready to take a ballroom.

She looked ridiculous sitting in McDonalds.

The look of relief on her face when she saw me almost surprised me.

"McDonalds?" she sneered, her voice so condescending, I was surprised I'd expected anything else. She watched me like a hawk as I sat down, her voice positively dripping with venom. "I should've known you'd choose a place like this."

"Really?" I decided to humor her.

"It's cheap and low-class. The only people that come to McDonalds want something fast and easy. It's no wonder you'd like a place like this," she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You're exactly the same. This is such a waste of my time."

I think I should have been angry by this, which was probably why I was surprised at how much I just didn't _care _about her mocking comments and immature jabs anymore. I had so many more important things to worry about, like my friends and family, to really care about how much she wanted to hurt and put me down.

"Your opinion about me really doesn't bother me," I said truthfully, folding my hands on the table, watching as her eyes narrowed. "To be honest, every time you try to mock me and put me down, the more I begin to believe you're just insecure about yourself. It really confuses me, though, that you'd waste your time trying to come up with all of these insults when you claim to have so many other important things to do. Like shopping, I presume?"

She looked ready to argue, but I stood up and immediately, she visibly paled. That confused me. "Hold that thought," I grabbed my wallet from my pocket, "I need to grab some food. I'm starving. Did you want me to order something for you?"

She looked almost offended. "Um, _no_."

"Your loss," I shrugged, heading over to the counter and ordering a large fries and ten piece nugget meal. By the time I came back, Luna was tapping her foot on the ground with an impatient look on her face. I offered her some of my nuggets, not the fries, but she refused them. "So, if you went through all of the trouble to send me a letter and sit at McDonalds to make fun of me, you're severely deranged. But go ahead if it will make you sleep better at night."

Her blue eyes seemed wary and annoyed. "You know, you're different now. Calmer. A little more confident. Or callous. I don't know, but I'm not sure I like it." That, if anything, made me smile and she rolled her eyes at me before toying with the ends of her blond hair. "Okay, straight to business then. I'm here to make you a proposal you can't refuse."

"Or that you _hope _I don't refuse."

She scowled. "Will you be interrupting all night or can I speak?" I stuffed a fry in my mouth. She took that as a sign to continue. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't like you. Don't get me wrong or anything, I don't _hate _you. I just don't like you. If you weren't after the guy I wanted, I'd probably even want to be friends with you. You're the kind of girl I'd want as my best friend."

My jaw almost dislocated with how fast it dropped.

Luna grimaced. "Chew and swallow, please. I don't fancy see-food." _That _almost made me smile. Her expression remained neutral and straight to the point. "Let me make one thing clear tonight, Sakura. Whatever happens here, _stays _here. That best friend comment? It was a slip of the tongue. I don't want to have to tell you twice."

"Okay…but why?" I dipped a nugget into the sweet and sour sauce tub. "I mean, I can't even _begin _to picture why you'd want me to be your best friend."

She rolled her gaze heavenward as if praying to the Gods. "_It was a slip of the tongue," _she ground out irritably. I only raised an eyebrow. She scowled. "Hypothetically speaking," she stressed, "—if I were to want you as a best friend, it'd be because…I don't know…you don't seem to want anything from me. You're annoying. You don't sugarcoat. You're honest, I guess, which is more than I can say for my other friends." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Wipe that smug grin off your face. In another world, in another time, but never in this lifetime. I'm sure you know that better than I do."

I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. Instead, I offered her the nuggets again and reluctantly – _very _reluctantly – she reached for a fry. _A fry. _I reminded myself we were in a screwed-up truce at the moment. Besides, she wrinkled her nose and swallowed loudly. She would _not _be wanting more any time soon. _Score._

"The proposal?" I prompted, waving a fry in her direction.

She visibly leaned away from the fry before folding her hands on the table, then thought better of it and tucked her hands into her lap. "Natsume. I'll take Natsume from your hands and I'll leave all of your friends alone. I'll even get Hitoshi to leave you guys alone, if that's what it takes."

The fry stopped halfway into my mouth. I looked at her carefully. "I honestly don't know if you're kidding or not."

"I'm not," Luna huffed, twisting her lips. She actually looked a little desperate. "Fine, what do you want? I won't go so far as to say that I'd do anything, but I will do what is in my power to have him. I need him."

I eyed her warily. "For what, may I ask?"

She frowned, instantly on the defensive. "That's really none of your business, Sakura. I don't have to explain myself to you."

I raised an eyebrow. Luna leaned back once more, unmoving. She really was ridiculous. "The way I see it," I wiped my hands with a napkin, "—you _do _have to explain to me. You obviously don't love him. If it was as easy as that, you would've just said so but your response and _reaction _to my easy question was that it was none of my business which leads me to believe it's something a little more complicated. What do you need from Natsume that you've stooped so low as to ask it from me, somebody you believe is cheap and low-class?"

Her lips twisted again in a sneer fit enough to send a shiver down my spine. I tried not to show her just how intimidating she was. "You really _have _become annoying," she muttered. "Look, Sakura. I could lie but I'm sure you'd appreciate honesty more and I'm not ashamed about my feelings. I like Natsume. What's there not to like about him? I may not love him, but that can come later. Essentially, Natsume is a vital figure in tomorrow's society. My…" she exhaled quickly and frowned, "—my mother has her eyes set on him and she wants me to be the future Mrs. Hyuuga. Don't give me that look. I am _not _to be pitied. You're from the boonies. You don't know how society works. I'll tell you again, I _like _Natsume. It's not like I'm going to be losing anything from pursuing and marrying him." She scowled at me, throwing her arms up before crossing them furiously, "—stop _looking _at me like that."

I backed away from the table and put my hands up in surrender, processing her words quickly. "I don't even know how I'm looking at you! Geez!"

"You have that big-eyed, I-wish-you-didn't-have-to-suffer-so kind of look," Luna half snarled, half hissed. "Look, keep an open mind, ok? I'm sure your parents have nurtured and told you that happily-ever-afters and soul mates actually exist but reality and fairytales are two _very_ different things. Don't judge me."

I tapped my fingers against my knee thoughtfully. "So let me get this straight. Basically, you want Natsume because your _mother _wants Natsume?"

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "My mother is _not _like that."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean. Your mother thinks he'd be good for status or business or _whatever_ so she wants you to nab him by the throat and marry him despite not even loving him?"

"Like I said, love could come later and even if it didn't come later, this isn't a fairytale. You're looking at me like I'm a peasant again. I'm trying really hard to be patient with you, Sakura, but I'm starting to think you're being thick on purpose. Just accept the deal already and we'll both be on our way."

Ignoring her, I leaned back in my seat. "So your mother wants you to marry Natsume, I get that. Kinda. What does your father believe?"

"I don't think he knows," Luna said offhandedly. "Honestly, what do you want? Money? A job at my father's company? A house? I'm sure my mother would have no problem providing you with any of it."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Seriously, Luna, you really have to get this into your _thick _skull: _I'm not poor. _How many times do I have to say it for you to believe it?"

"When you act like it?" She shrugged, her voice sounded uninterested. "To be honest, Sakura, your mother is a writer and your father is a painter. Both professions don't exactly rake in much compared to empires and companies. Plus, I've never heard of the Sakuras. My mother has heard very slight things about your mother but nothing groundbreaking. Honestly? Nobody knew you were alive until you popped out of nowhere at the beginning of the school year wearing your jeans and those ratty sweaters you seem to like so muc—"

"—Hoodies."

She waved her hand in the air like I was a fly she wanted to swat. "—whatever. What I'm trying to say is, you don't exactly exude much class. Kanako even thought you were a scholarship student," Luna sniffed, looking at my uneaten nuggets. "Plus, you eat at McDonalds when there are perfectly good restaurants a few blocks from the Academy. Compare yourself with Shouda and Imai and _then _tell me you don't get it."

I clenched my jaw in disbelief. "Okay! I'm finished with the put-down-Mikan campaign, so onto bigger matters," I said sarcastically, really not believing she was arrogant enough to really judge me on such materialistic matters. "How would you stop Akimoto from bugging us? I mean, he's his own person. From the looks of things, his grudge against Natsume is serious enough that even _you _wouldn't be able to get him to stop. What do you have on him that could possibly render him incapable of…interfering with us anymore?"

She sighed in a way that told me her patience was running thin. "Hitoshi isn't as complicated as you'd like to believe. He doesn't do things for the sake of spite, he does these things because he _can _and it's _fun. _I've known Hitoshi since middle school. You could say we were alike in many ways except I'm a bitch up front and he's a prick behind your back." She spread her hands on the table and looked at her nails thoughtfully. "To be honest, he said he liked you not too long ago. I couldn't tell whether he _liked _you or if it was his way of saying he wanted to ruin your life. That's what happened to Natsume, anyway. It's hard to tell with him."

I couldn't keep the wry smile off my face. She was kind of funny when she was being honest, I thought. "I like how you completely bypass the question."

Her eyes snapped from her nails to my eyes and she looked at me like I was dirt under her shoe. "I was _getting _there. You know what they say about patience and all," she said airily. She put her nails away and clasped her hands atop the table. "Like I said, Hitoshi's a good friend of mine. He knows my mother and how she is. As long as I ask, he'll put away the claws and find some other chew toy to play with. It's really not that difficult to understand."

"He'd be willing to do that for you, just like that?" I wasn't convinced. Akimoto seemed a bit more resilient than that and to be honest, he seemed to have a little too much fun playing around with Natsume. I severely doubted he'd give all of that up because Luna Koizumi asked him to, friend or no friend. I told her so.

"I would have thought you'd have a little more faith than that," Luna noted with an edge of venom in her voice.

I laughed humorlessly. "Faith or not, the whole thing is void. You're asking me to hand Natsume over to you but he was never mine to begin with. He's his own person. He can do whatever the hell he wants and it wouldn't matter what I thought in the least." I swirled a fry into the tub of S&S sauce thoughtfully. "Besides, aren't you confident enough about your feminine wiles to charm him by yourself? I don't see how I pose a problem in your plans, as unethical as they are. You want to trap Natsume into a loveless marriage because your mom likes how you look with the Hyuuga last name. Look me in the eye and tell me that's what you've always wanted."

"When will you get it, Sakura, I _do _want it for my own reasons. I don't have to receive your blessing because in all honesty, your opinion means very little to me." Luna flexed her fingers, all the while keeping her gaze on mine. "And I find it funny that _you _are trying to taunt _me. _But I'll humor you, as you've been humoring me; I have never doubted my abilities before, but your density is far too unbelievable. Natsume is as much yours as you are his. It would be foolish of you to say otherwise. I've heard all of the blond jokes and I know what they say about me behind my back but I'm not as stupid as everybody believes. My 'feminine wiles' truly mean nothing when it comes to Natsume. It's never meant anything to Natsume and I don't think it ever will. Even before you came along, it wasn't like he responded much to my advances." She twisted her lips in a humorless smile. "But Natsume is part of our system, he's always been part of the system. He knows exactly how it works with us and I'm willing to bet the Hyuuga family wouldn't be opposed to a direct connection with the Koizumi clan."

"Because of your furniture?"

She reddened a bit before she replied in a clipped tone, "Not that I have to prove anything to you, but we also own a chain of department stores around Asia and North America. Don't judge me, Sakura."

"Only if you don't judge me." She clenched her jaw tight as I chewed thoughtfully on a fry. It really was a wonder about these rich families and their expectations. I thought Uncle Kazu had told me enough about the way things worked and even Seiji had shed a little light on the whole ordeal but Luna? She really did take the cake.

I had enough with all of this.

I lifted my eyes to meet hers. "Thank you."

Luna blinked suspiciously before all but barking, "For what?"

"For making the decision for me," I smiled. I leaned forward and lowered my voice. "You've been saying it throughout our whole conversation; that I have faith and that I have a skewed sense of reality. I won't argue with you because you probably wouldn't believe me anyway. You're still stuck in a time where you're better than everyone else, where I'm poor and childish and naïve and where the world will spin whenever you tell it to. I'm not going to lecture you. I'm not your mother—_obviously—_but if there's anything I've learned from this conversation, it's that you're not that bad. You deserve something more than to have your mother expect all of this crap from you. You deserve to live your life the way _you _want to live it. You deserve to marry a guy that will love you. Ugh, I know this sounds lame so stop looking at me like that." I exhaled slowly and tried to piece my thoughts together. "You told me love could come later, that you could always learn to love Natsume. I'm not going to question that. But you…you said it yourself, Natsume would never love you back. Don't you think you deserve at least that? Somebody to love you?"

Luna rolled her eyes and reached for her bag, propping it at the crook of her elbow. "You know, I almost find your idealism endearing if it wasn't so nauseating." She stood up and looked down with her crystal blue eyes. "You can just say it, you know, that you want Natsume all to yourself. Everybody's selfish. It's nice to see that the saint carries a trident too."

I clenched my fists together. "I like Natsume, that's true. I'm done swimming in that river in Egypt. But my feelings are still the same. Despite knowing we've never really gotten along, ever, I still wouldn't want to see you disappear off the face of the Earth or hear that you've managed to marry the man of your mother's dreams, only to live a life of…I don't know… loneliness and despair. I wouldn't wish that on my enemy."

"So I'm your enemy, am I?"

I thought about it for a second. "Well, no. Not really. But you're certainly one of the antagonists in the story," I offered, watching as she patted down her hair and straightened her dress. I didn't want her to be my enemy. I hoped she knew that. "You're not that bad," I said, watching as she raised an eyebrow sardonically.

"Well, that's a first," Luna sneered, putting a hand on her hip impatiently. "Look, you could have saved me the trouble from the very start and told me you weren't interested instead of drawing the whole damn thing out. 'No' would have sufficed. I should have known trying to be civil would just be a fucking waste of my time." Her eyes narrowed to slits and I knew immediately that whatever truce we were under was now yesterday's news. The hostile aura was back. "I offered you a truce, Sakura, and you refused. I hope you remember that and recall this conversation when everything comes crashing to an end. I've told you once before and I'll tell you one more time, if you really think you're going to change the balance of things, you really don't know me at all. I won't give up without a fight and Hitoshi's going to be right there with me." She chuckled so low, it sounded almost sinister. "You said I wasn't 'that bad'. Well, Sakura, it looks like you're even more of an idiot than I thought. You and your friends have always been just a little soft. We'll see how you fare when the going gets tough. If Hitoshi and I are alike in any way, it's our ambition. We'll stop at nothing to get what we want." She stepped out of the booth and offered her hand, before she thought better of it and smirked instead. "Let the better woman win."

_How quickly things reverted back to how they used to be. _

I shook my head. "Lets. Give it your best shot. I won't give up either," I said softly, standing up so that we were eye to eye.

"You asked for it," she smirked cruelly. She hitched her purse more securely on her elbow and set her blue eyes back on mine. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Bring on the flames, Princess," she leered before turning on her heel and walking out the door without a backward glance.

I let out a tight breath and shook my head again. "Let the flames begin."

* * *

_I know I kinda left the guys out of this chapter but it was already getting flippin' long and well, everything in this chapter weaves together with what's to come in TBATB 23. That said, I hope I answered a few of your questions from previous chapters. I purposefully didn't answer them in your review replies because I was planning this. If you have any questions, include them in your reviews! Oh, and instead of 25 chapters like I'd estimated, it's going to be 26, which I have a problem with. I don't know why. 26 isn't a prime or odd number, nor is it divisible by three so there really shouldn't be anything wrong with it but I don't know. Maybe my brain's a little fried from writing this chapter like a madman. _D:

_Review if you liked?_


	23. Stockholm Syndrome

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi who is bloody brilliant. In some ways (chapter 142), for example.**  
**

**Dedication: **This chapter is dedicated to those who have reminded me _non-stop _about my only incomplete story. People like:

Blue Aidelle, **crimsoneyes44, **Sapphire Encrusted Locket, **Fuyumi-chan, **Polkadots24, **J. So Elroy, **Ldelavalliere, **Pandapple.s2, **DesperateAngel01, **WindigoUnseen, **Noeyy, **KiwiFrube-x, **iamaninjahearmerawr, **JoiZ. D, **bickeringgibberish, **Indigograpefruit, **nannychu412

And of course, to the reviewers of last chapter, like:

Easily Written, **The Heartfelt Sarcastic, **Midnight Taiyou, **crimsoneyes44, **Fallen Jewels, **.-RINGY rina-., **Youichiix33, **FallenRaindrops**, xDoubleU, **Air** **High**, Mew-Sakura, **MyResOLuTion**, KiwiFrube-x, **iamaninjahearmerawr**, lin, **Indigograpefruit**, crimsonknight XDZ, **Kathya**, MarineLullaby, **anitsirhc**, clueless624, **JoiZ**. **D**, lin, **RisuBento**, freefallingup**, J. So Elroy,** my-silver-lining, **kinomotosakura123**, Lydiacatfish, **Veronica**, Miss Mingxi, **mikanella**-**chan**, Paige Cruz, **shana**.**rose**., Iris petals, **Ldelavalliere**, Stardrop55, **stars**-**dream18**, fallenangel320, **CrimsonFantasy15**, j0nsbdaniansRock1, **Polkadots24**, CrazyQuills, **IAmTheBattleMaiden**, Greentulip, **Blissful** **Delight**, dyingbreed003, **chini**, xXxCat-OtakuxXx, **huyutfsakura**, LaughxSmile, **yuuki36**, SeraphMia, **FairoNeko**, GawkingFish, **xxliyoraxx**, sonamy4eva22, **foxtrotelly**, Little Cute Girl, **LaDy** **CoUnteRpart** **of** **NaTsume**, Nymphorii, **hana**-**pink**, XsujuXforeverX, **Erilin**-**chan**, nightrain12345, **Heartless Lonely Kairi**, kaitLEN 3, **BrokenFacades**, chainedheart999, **Shitamu**, ItsOnMars, **daa3fan**, Pursuer of Happyness, **OYYES123**, Waiting Fan, **Redenzione**, pwenie, **Prose Vanity**, ghie, **Luck Will Turn**, hiddenchronicles, **NaTsUmIkAn** **RoMaNcE**, Joi, **IrisCherieHathaway**, kitty says meow, **One** **Heartbeat**, mangalover, **skylar93**, Moon Castic, **akadabra**-**kaching**, Whispering Loudmouth, **sweetsmartiesandniblets**, Starlight Curse, **HarunaNiwa073**, HelloThia, **mikanxnatsumexorange**, meant4ivashkov, **Bolajv**, -BlueRaven35-, **Livlive13**, Iceyicecream, **HappyHam**, Silent Bird Song, **unluckypancake**, Sparkles585, **reeyan** **echizen**, OYYES123, **anne**, m-channn, **Layla's Lancaster**, icily-COOL, **Miharu Endou**, chibi-inu, **broken**-**paige**, im awesome so bite me, **Ack**, R. BARMA (sorry, FFN is weird), **fishqueenfel**, HarunaNiwa073, **ahmygosh**

**Author's Note: **Way more reviews than I thought I'd get. But yes, this was a long time coming and I'm super sorry, but on the plus side, LONG ASS CHAPTER! Get comfy and enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 23. Stockholm Syndrome**

_I'm so lost_;  
_ I'm barely here_.  
_ I wish I could explain myself_  
_ But words escape me_.

_ It's too late _  
_ To save me_.  
_ You're too late_.  
_ You're too late.  
_Stockholm Syndrome - **Blink 182  
**

I was lonely.

I suppose I could understand why my parents were so alarmed when my "book" phase turned out not being a book phase after all. Though my father loved that I wasn't getting any attention from boys, my mother had always worried about the lack of friends I'd bring home. She knew I got along just fine with my classmates and she knew I went out occasionally to movies, but the amount of time I spent at home bothered her a lot.

I always thought she wondered how I could have been so different from her.

From what I knew about her, my mother had a group of tight knit friends who got her into trouble and watched her back. She had her fair share of enemies… at least, that's what my father had said. Otherwise, he'd get a faraway look to his eyes when he told me she was the most beautiful person he'd ever met and that he felt sorry for the poor dolts who used to cause her trouble.

They never knew her like he did, and he thanked God for that.

Quite often, my mother tried to get me out of the house to socialize. I never understood why she thought I'd needed it. I liked being alone with my books and my backyard. It was quiet and familiar. Why did I need classmates who didn't share the same interests that I did? Why would I bother with people that pretended to like the things I liked?

I didn't think I'd find anybody that I would mind hanging out with.

I didn't think I'd understand the feeling of loneliness my mother always thought I felt.

But I could feel it now and I could feel it hard.

Once I'd gotten a taste of having friends like Sumire and Koko and Hotaru, it just wasn't the same anymore. I couldn't go back to being all right with being by myself. I'd tried. God knows I'd tried, but books could no longer hold me. They couldn't replace the feeling in my chest that seemed to bloom when Hotaru shuffled into the kitchen or Sumire flipped through channels on TV.

Now I knew what I was missing.

-;-

_Oh no, I see,  
I spun a web and it's tangled up with me.  
And I lost my head,  
I thought of all the stupid things I said._

_Oh no, what's this?_  
_A spider web and I'm caught in the middle._  
_So I turned and run._  
_The thought of all the stupid things I've done._  
Trouble - **Coldplay**

I moved through the next few days in a haze of school, library, homework and sleep.

I even found it hard to remember to eat and it didn't help that wherever I went, I felt as if I had a target attached to my back. Eyes were on me with curiosity and hostility. I would walk past Luna's lunch table on some days to hear laughter and jeers aimed at my back. I hadn't been used to it at first; the things they said were harsh. There were comments about my parents: my flighty mother and my impractical father. They mocked my comfy sweat pants. They picked at anything they could.

I couldn't get anything right.

But with the enemies and the bystanders, there came others that seemed to like me.

Anna and Nonoko always joined me in our Gym class and boys from History, like Hoshio Hoshino paved a path for me through the corridors after he'd seen me get nudged a few times more than usual.

And as always, there was Natsume.

He was always silent but present.

Though he didn't walk me to every class, for some reason, I felt like I could always feel him watching over me. It was strange and comforting all at once and I couldn't help but wish he hadn't said the things he'd said, wish that things weren't so strained between us… and I wished I could spend so much more time with him than the walk to classes and back to my dorm.

It felt impersonal.

_Cold._

Like a duty borne to a knight from his master.

Where had we gone wrong?

"All right there, kid?" A voice pried me from my thoughts.

"Yup, I'm all right," I said softly.

I smiled quickly, shoved a cracker into my mouth and turned away from the look of consternation in Misaki's eyes. Before she could say much else, Hayate broke off his argument with Rui and looked at me with wide eyes. "Is it true? That Hotaru-chan carries a gun around with her?"

I frowned. "You mean those guns that shoot out plastic balls? …Yeah, that's true. Most of the time."

Rui groaned and Hayate positively beamed. "She's _Cool Blue Sky. _She has to be _Cool Blue Sky. _She looks exactly like her! She's the one for me! She has to be the one! Mikan, please set me up with her! I don't—she's so beautiful and I want her! She's perfect!"

"She has a boyfriend, you idiot," Misaki rolled her eyes. "You know… the cute blond that walks her to class everyday? She wouldn't spare you a second glance when she's got him around and it doesn't help that you can barely say three words to her without shoving your fist into your mouth and blushing like a tomato. Or when you're saying something that makes her want to punch you in the throat."

Her logic was lost on Hayate, though, as he flipped through his comic and muttered excitedly to himself.

Rui sighed, "He's persistent. You've got to give him that. Who knows about this Imai girl? She may not be able to stop herself from becoming charmed by his naivety. Girls tend to fall for persistence, don't they? And if anything, she might just go out with him to stop him from pining after her for the rest of the year."

Misaki scoffed with mirth in her throat. "Doubt it. Imai's default mode is Ruthless Bitch. Who knows how much dirt she has on the people in this school. Hell, I bet she could have _me _on a leash and wouldn't think twice about doing it. She's selfish enough to put her own happiness above all others and her pride is big enough to take up an entire building." Misaki shrugged and examined her nails. "You've got to her respect her for that, at least. I know I do. You've got to have a handle on yourself to be able to do that."

I looked up to find Misaki looking at me pointedly before going back to examining her nails. I waited two beats before looking back down to my lunch and pushing the rice around my plate.

"Well, sometimes you have to swallow your pride in order to make things right. There are more important things than pride."

My head snapped up in time to see Kaoru unleash his disarming smile… in Rui's direction.

Then my gaze moved to Sumire.

Other than the half-hearted requests for dinner and the offhand comments about my mail, Sumire hadn't said ten words to me after what happened at Natsume's. I could see she wanted to sometimes, when I saw her lounging on the couch, but the look in her eyes would pass and she'd turn back to the TV without acknowledging I was there and it wasn't like I made any moves to talk to her either.

For one, I didn't want to talk to someone who didn't seem to want me to. And two, I didn't want to face the expression she'd have if I tried. Call it pride. Blame it on my stubbornness or miscommunication. Say whatever you will. We didn't talk.

But here she was.

Here. In front of me, shuffling her feet and biting her lip after two weeks.

I think I might have stopped breathing for a second. We looked at each other for another moment before I swallowed. "Hey," my voice was soft.

She bit the inside of her cheek before she tilted her head toward the table behind her and murmured, "Hey, do you…do you think we could talk?"

-;-

We settled into the hard, plastic cafeteria chairs and I watched as Sumire straightened out her skirt, took a napkin from her purse and brushed off the excess crumbs that littered her side of the table. Her restless shuffling occupied the next minute before I couldn't stand it any longer. She wouldn't look at me and this nervous act wasn't doing either of us any good.

"So," I started abruptly, watching as her hands stopped and her gaze slowly moved to meet mine. "What did you want to talk about?"

She frowned, "You really don't beat around the bush, do you?"

I cleared my throat. "Well we could talk about the weather for ten minutes but it's us…just you and me. Who are we kidding? I don't like to make things more awkward than they have to be and I know all you want to do is get this out of the way and put behind us. I'll start." I closed my eyes and inhaled. "I'm sorry. For a lot of things. I'm sorry for sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I'm sorry for being presumptuous. I'm sorry for making things even more difficult for you guys. I…I never meant to make things more complicated. All I wanted to do is help Aoi and I realize I may have compromised whatever you guys had planned. I'm sorry for that, even though I don't really understand it. If helping Aoi means I should keep out of the plan or keep away from talking about it with you guys, then that's all right. I can handle that. I just…does that mean I can't hang out with you too? Because I miss that, you know. You guys."

I tried to say something more, but I couldn't find the words to express them. _I'm sorry it came to this, I'm sorry we've been so distant, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

"Mikan," she sounded annoyed. "You're so stupid."

I opened my eyes at that.

Sumire was sitting with her hands under the table and her black hair pulled to the side. Her tanned skin looked almost pale in the afternoon light and her green eyes glinted with liquid. My jaw almost dropped. _Was she crying?_

Her voice was venomous. "I hate you. Don't you ever apologize for something you couldn't help. I don't understand what the fuck went down because I honestly don't even know what the plan even _was_, but from what I could understand, they were blaming you because Akimoto likes you. The only thing you have to be guilty for is being…I don't know…charming enough to attract him. Is that something you can help? Fuck no. That's the same as killing an elephant because it was standing beside a murderer. What the heck did the elephant do?"

I didn't say anything.

She barely paused. "Exactly. Nothing. That's what I came here to say. I wouldn't even know anything about a plan if you hadn't brought me into it and frankly, I still don't know what's going on and they aren't about to tell me. Even Koko refuses to give me any details and though I understand that, sure, their lives are a little harder now because Akimoto likes you or whatever, that doesn't give them a reasonable excuse to treat you like this. I know what it's like to be treated this way and it's not fair…really… So no, you can't be sorry for anything… but…but I'm sorry. For leaving you alone with this disgusting crowd of leeches to tear at you. You're a good person, Mikan. Don't you ever take the blame for something you had no control over. I will rip out your tongue otherwise."

I couldn't understand what it was, but I felt the warmest pressure in my chest when she finished. She'd told me that she hated me, she threatened to rip my tongue out, but nobody…nobody had ever stood up for me the way Sumire just did and I had never had a friend that felt so strongly.

_Sumire is my friend_.

Up until now, I couldn't remember ever having a friend like her. People always jump right in and talk about being friends after the first moment they meet and within a month's time, they're enemies or distant acquaintances. I always thought Sumire was my friend after the first few weeks of knowing her, but it wasn't until this moment that I actually felt it.

_Sumire is my friend._

"Good God, are you crying?"

I snorted a laugh before swiping at my eyes. "Sumire… thank you."

She looked at me softly like she knew exactly what I was thanking her for and closed her eyes. "Yes," she said. And just the way she said it, it felt like she was thanking me for being the same.

After a moment, she cleared her throat. "Your friends have been looking at me as if I've magically grown a chameleon on my nose."

I laughed and looked over my shoulder to see Anna, Nonoko and shy Nobara standing a distance away, looking as if they'd been waiting for us to finish talking. At my glance, they grinned and strode over. Anna and Nonoko came with bouncing hair and Nobara shuffled quietly behind them.

I grinned, "What's going on, guys?"

"Hitoshi-kun's party, that's what!" Anna exclaimed with a bounce in her step. "We both got invites today, see?"

Both Nonoko and Anna seemed to pull the invites from some magical spot behind their backs and handed them to both Sumire and me to scrutinize. They were beautifully crafted, made out of thick golden paper. It was a three-fold card with black letters.

The front of the card read:

**Akimoto Hitoshi**

"_**The Gold Rush"**_

You know what they say:  
_Eat, drink and be merry._

The second fold of the card had a large black and white photo of the handsome host pointing obnoxiously at the camera:

I choose _you:_

**Anna Umenomiya **

The last fold of the card had the elegantly scripted address and the specifics of the event two days from today, November 29th.

I smiled wryly. "It actually looks kind of cool. Have fun guys!" I handed the card back to Anna and glimpsed the frown she shared with her counterpart. "What's wrong?"

Anna twisted her hands together nervously. "It's just that we kind of thought you'd already gotten an invite. We weren't trying to show off. Promise!"

"It's kind of funny… we thought Akimoto-kun would have definitely invited you first," Nonoko said apologetically, pulling at the hem of her shirt. "Everybody's saying he likes you. A lot. But you really didn't get an invite? It just…doesn't make sense."

I couldn't help flashing a look at Sumire and shrugging, "He invited me two weeks ago but he never gave me an invite." They looked guilty, I could tell. "It's okay, I'm not offended or anything."

Anna bit her lip and rocked back and forth on her feet before her eyes alighted on something behind me. "Maybe we can fix this!" she exclaimed excitedly before she called out to Akimoto. I turned quickly, immediately finding Akimoto's eyes and watched with a sinking heart as he moved his way over with a delighted smirk on his face.

"Hello ladies, what may I do for you?" His voice was all smooth lines and sexy undertones before his eyes found the golden invites on the table and his smile turned icy. He looked up at Anna and Nonoko and lowered his voice. "I thought I told you two not to spread the invites around." His eyes flashed to mine, aquamarine on brown, before his smile warmed again. "I just don't want anybody to feel left out. I'm sure you ladies understand. I can't possibly invite everybody in school."

"We just…thought you would have invited Mikan," Anna murmured timidly, as if she were addressing a hungry lion. "We're so sorry, Akimoto-kun."

He waved her off and glanced between Sumire and me with a grin still on his face. "It's no problem. You two weren't interested in going, were you?" His eyes turned to mine and for some reason, even though his smile was completely warm, I felt like he didn't want me going anyway. "I remember inviting you earlier, Mikan, but you never said whether or not you wanted to go. I just assumed you didn't…I don't think Hyuuga would be too happy with you hanging out with me."

I snorted. It wasn't like Natsume wanted anything to do with me anymore anyway.

I looked toward Sumire who set her jaw and raised an eyebrow at me before turning her full green-eyed charm on the boy before us. "We'd love to go, actually."

"Permy!" I hissed horrified. "If you want to go so bad, don't pull me into it too!"

She rolled her green eyes and examined her nails swiftly. "Look, you're down in the dumps because Natsume's whole gang has been giving you the cold shoulder and you said it yourself: this could be fun! You need to loosen up and have some fun. With the shit that you've been through, you're going to have a midlife crisis by the time you're twenty." She lifted her eyes and caught mine and I could see she really was trying to lift up my spirits. "Trust me," she smiled softly, "—I'll make it fun."

She looked up and nudged Akimoto with her elbow. "I'm sure he wants you to loosen up too. How about it? It's just a harmless house party. What do you have to be afraid of?"

I felt two hands on my shoulders and looked behind me to see Anna and Nonoko's encouraging smiles. Sighing, I looked up at Akimoto, who still had the boyish grin on his face, and bit my lip. "Is the offer still open? You won't mind?"

"Not at all!" His voice was enthusiastic as he clapped his hands together. His smile looked too bright but he broke the eye contact before I could really make sure and waved a group of his boys over. The one he addressed had dirty blond hair cut close to his skull and eyes dark as coal. He was holding a handful of invites with a black pen at the ready. He looked at me for a second before his eyes focused on Akimoto and his hands began writing fluidly.

"Mikan Sakura and Sumire Shouda," Akimoto said fluidly, sending a grin my way. His eyes looked past me before he added, "Nobara Ibaragi, Misaki Harada, Rui Amane, Hayate Matsudaira and…" he paused for a long moment before exhaling stiffly, "Kaoru Nendo." He pressed his lips together before his friend passed him the finished invites and he extended them to us graciously with a warm smile. "I really hope you guys can come. It'll be fun."

He looked around when the last of them were handed out and then looked at me expectantly. "The party is invite only, so make sure you bring your invites to the party and a photo ID with your name on it or you won't be allowed in. All right?"

I nodded and smiled at him in thanks.

He grinned before he sighed with faux annoyance. "Well I've got some more invites to hand out so I'll see you sometime around school or just at my party. Have a great day, guys," he tapped the surface of the table. He turned, but as an afterthought he grabbed the pen from the blond boy and strode over to grab my hand and scrawled his number on my palm. His grin was bright and boyish. "Just in case you have any questions."

I snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Okay…thanks again for the invite."

"Anything for you, beautiful," he winked and then waved goodbye.

There was quiet at our table for a long moment before Kaoru grumbled indignantly, "Did you see the way he wrinkled his nose when he invited me? What a petty bitchstick. I don't even _want _to go to this." He tossed the golden invite back on the table and crossed his arms, barely containing his smile when the table erupted with laughter.

"It could be fun," Rui said with a shrug. "I've never been invited to one of the prick's parties before. It'll be good entertainment to see him embarrass himself."

"I agree!" Kaoru looked at Rui with poorly concealed interest before he swiped the invite off the table and muttered, "I might just go after all_…_"

While Misaki and Rui argued about the merits of attending one of the "stuck-up bitch's party', Sumire lowered her voice and murmured, "He didn't look too happy about that. Did you notice?"

"Yeah," I frowned. "It was weird. He invited me warmly enough the other week but today he sounded like he'd rather swallow ten forks."

"He seemed happy about it to me," Anna said thoughtfully. "He even gave you his number! If that doesn't show that he's interested in you, I don't know what does! If you ask me, he really wants you to come. You're a lucky girl, Mikan," she smiles slyly, "—he's very handsome!"

_Not as handsome as Natsume…_

I smiled at her and silently rejoiced when the bell rang for class.

-;-

_Sometimes I wish I was brave.  
I wish I was stronger.  
I wish I could feel no pain._

_Cause I feel so mad,  
I feel so angry.  
I feel so callous.  
So lost, confused again._

_Let's start over.  
Let's start over._  
I Feel So – **Box Car Racer**

I grinned back at Koko in History when he smiled over, but the rest of the period was devoted to a test and I finished just before the bell rang. Koko waited for me by my desk. To be polite, I asked, "How are you?"

"Good!" he grinned, helping me with my books. He looked up into my eyes and his grin faltered. I was about to ask what was wrong before he brushed the back of his finger against the underside of my right eye. "You look tired, Mikan." He pressed his lips into a line before his lips tugged upward into a hopeful smile. "It'll all be over soon."

I exhaled sharply and blinked at him sadly. "Promise?"

"I promise," his grin was full blown. The bell rang signaling the beginning of the last class of the day and we both looked up quickly. "We're late, let's go!"

By the time we skidded into English, almost everybody was in class except Narumi-sensei and Sumire was busy arguing with Natsume in the corner. As if he felt me somehow, Natsume's neck stiffened and his head snapped toward the doorway and red eyes narrowed on mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat and couldn't help but feel like I did something incredibly wrong. He stalked over to me and took me by the wrist before dragging me back out the door, not before I caught the large smirk on Akimoto's face.

The door snapped shut before he pressed me against it and punched it softly, right beside my head. I whimpered before I caught his wild eyes. He bent his head, then, and gritted out in a low, pained voice, "What are you _doing_, Polka Dots?"

I couldn't stop my words from being petulant like a child's. "So you're talking to me now?"

He lifted his head slowly and glared at me with smoldering red eyes. "Don't be such a fucking…" he looked away.

"Finish that sentence. I dare you," I set my jaw, feeling a white pulse of anger course through my body.

His eyes almost looked pleading when he looked at me next. "I'm trying to protect you but you're making that really fucking hard when you're walking right into the hands of…of _him_." I opened my mouth to speak but he growled. "Don't. If you open that smart mouth one more time, I think I'm going to blow a fucking fuse. You're so _infuriating_."

He looked away before resting his head on my shoulder and I closed my eyes, taking in the warmth of his body against mine and the small, warm breaths of his ragged breathing against my skin. Quietly, in that pained voice of his, he asked, "Do you like him?"

I blinked and felt a new surge of anger pump in my veins. "What?"

Natsume lifted his head then and looked at me with a soft, determined look in his eyes. "Do you like him?"

"Natsume," I said softly, shaking my head. "I think you know that answer as well as I do."

"I need to hear you say it."

How could he not know how I felt about him? Did I really have to embarrass myself further for him to get it?

There was a slight pressure against my bottom lip and I didn't realize I was biting it until Natsume's thumb gently tugged it away. I exhaled shakily and closed my eyes. "I like you, Natsume, not him. I don't know how many times I have to tell you before you decide to believe me. But I'm not going to stand by while you ignore me for days. Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

"I'm trying to protect you," he murmured like a lost child. "I don't know how to do both."

"You're supposed to keep me with you," I reached to turn his face so his eyes could meet mine. "It doesn't feel right when you're here but you're pretending I'm not."

"No canoodling in front of my class!" Narumi singsonged, flouncing down the hallway in another ridiculous outfit. "That can wait for after class, hmm?" He winked and we both moved out of the way so that he could enter class with a flourish.

A scowl fixed itself onto Natsume's face. "Fucking pedo." He ran a hand through his hair before stuffing his fists into his jeans. His eyes were narrowed and he looked completely pissed. His shoulders were hunched, wired to a point like he was poised to lash out at the smallest catalyst and his jaw was coiled with tension. I brushed my fingers against his jawline and leaned up on my toes to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

Then I turned and walked into class without a backward glance.

I could feel eyes on me, but I sat at the desk closest to the door and didn't look at Natsume when he entered the classroom with slow strides. Narumi didn't waste time to divide the class into our separate groups and usher the _Beauty and the Beast _members toward the school amphitheater. I grabbed my script and rolled it up before walking slowly toward Koko.

His brown eyes searched mine before he shrugged and said, "I trust you to take care of yourself, Mikan. So be careful, ok? You know I'm on your side."

No more words were shared as Narumi split us off into pairs and instructed us to run through separate scenes without help from our scripts, but my thoughts were invaded by Natsume. Always just Natsume.

-;-

When class ended, I grabbed my bag and bolted out of class. I knew that if I took my time, Natsume would find me and though he'd had time to cool down after the initial shock of finding out, hell would hit me once he'd gained composure. Koko had merely smiled knowingly and told me to go through the front doors.

He seemed to be waiting for me, though, leaning against the wall by the front steps.

I swallowed and pretended I didn't see him, but he fell into step beside me as easily as a tiger would to a gazelle. I looked at him briefly before facing forward and squaring my jaw. "I don't want to argue with you, Natsume."

"Then promise me you won't go."

"No." I waited for his explosion but it didn't come. I glanced at him with narrowed eyes and hissed, "Don't think your silent treatment is going to make me bow down to you. I've dealt with your silent treatment for almost two weeks now. I can't believe you'd even think about playing the wounded victim."

He kept it up for another five minutes before sighing, "I don't want to fight about this either."

"Then let it go. It's just a house party, Natsume. You guys said it yourself: if he likes me so much, he's not going to try to hurt me and Sumire and I just want to have a little fun. It's harmless fun," I explained patiently, opening the door to my apartment and letting him in. I went into the kitchen and prepared two glasses of water before handing him one.

"Harmless isn't the appropriate adjective to describe him," Natsume snapped. "He invited you twelve days ago and you only decide to go _now_ after I started ignoring you? That's so fucking petty, Polka Dots. I thought you were different."

My cheeks flooded with blood like he'd just slapped me in the face. I could almost feel my hair crackling with heated electricity. "You are such a cocky _shit_! Is your default mode 'Arrogant Bastard'? Because I remember you being like this the first two months I knew you but I know you're not like this so stop acting all high and mighty and _fake_! How many times do I have to tell you: the world doesn't revolve around you, you attention-fucking-_whore_!" I clenched my fists together and stopped him before he could open his mouth. "I'm not one of your petty little fangirls. You knew that during our first meeting so don't start kidding yourself. I'm not going to this party because I'm trying to get back at you for ignoring me. I'm going because I want to have fun. Didn't you say you wanted that? For me to have a normal high school life? Well here it is, Natsume."

I didn't realize I was panting until my ragged breaths reached my ear.

Natsume placed his glass of water on the counter so that he could clench his fists and pace the kitchen. "You can't have a normal high school life here! Someone like you doesn't belong here! You're so…you're just so fucking naïve. He's unpredictable and he would do anything to hurt me. When we said he wouldn't hurt you, it was just speculation. Do you really think we know him well enough to predict his every move?"

I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. "He's only ever been nice to me…maybe this whole beef you have with him is just something that goes with your history. I may not be the best judge of character, but I can take care of myself. I kicked the shit out of those guys when they were after your sister, remember?"

"With my brother and Tono's help," Natsume hissed. I could feel his ire go through the roof. He stalked over until he was standing right in front of me. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. He was so tall…I felt like a dwarf standing so close to him. Softly, angrily, he murmured, "You think you're some tough guy but your head barely grazes my shoulder. You can't be more than 5'4." His hands pulled my arms apart and he pushed me up against the wall with ease and captured both wrists with both of his hands. His eyes blazed liquid fire. "You're just a fucking girl. Do you really think you can fight back against a guy?" His hands stroked my wrists and he tapped a finger against the bones, "I could break your wrist as easily as snapping a twig in two."

I shifted to try to fit a leg in between his legs to knee him in the crotch but his body crowded into mine and he pushed _my _legs apart until my legs were immobilized. I could feel the heat inching up my face…from anger or because he was standing so close to me, I wasn't certain. His voice was low and razor sharp, "Nice try, but any guy would be able to avoid that move by stepping on both of your feet. Did you see how easily I did this? You're defenseless within two minutes. How the fuck am I supposed to let you go to that party?"

"I could head butt the shit out of you," I hissed.

I could have grinned when he moved his head back instinctively but I was still too furious.

Natsume frowned and muttered solemnly, "I know how to prevent that too, but I'm not going to do it."

"Why not?" I challenged him, narrowing my eyes at his.

"I don't want to scare you."

I rolled my eyes and tried to wrench my wrists away from his hands, to no avail. My eyes flashed back up to his. His eyelashes were so long, framing his eyes like mysterious spider webs and his lips were so close. I swallowed. "You don't scare me. Go ahead. _Try_. I can handle it."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before loosening his grip on my wrists. "I'll walk you through it." Slowly, he pushed my wrists together. "Your attacker will throw your wrists together and pin them with one hand." He trapped them, holding it loose enough to prevent bruises but firm enough to show me he could easily keep me from moving them. His eyes didn't move from mine. "Then he'll move his free arm to hold you down by your forehead…" he moved his forearm and barely brushed my forehead with his arm, but didn't leave it there. Instead, he trailed the back of his fingers against my cheekbone to the line of my neck. "But oftentimes, he'll go for your neck, curling his hand over your throat so that any movement from you will only choke you."

I swallowed thickly.

He released me and stepped back, letting his fingers drift across my waist before he parted entirely. Frowning, he crossed his arms. "Still think you can beat the shit out of any guy that has a brain? Akimoto may look all smiles, but he's not stupid. Don't kid yourself, Polka Dots. You're so small…fragile. A strong wind could blow you over and one shove could crack your skull open."

I sagged against the wall and tried to calm my breathing.

Natsume lifted the glass of water to his lips and drank slowly, watching me from over the edge with his furious red eyes before he tipped the whole thing back and placed the empty glass on the counter.

"That proves nothing."

His eyes narrowed to slits. "Don't be daft. I made my entire point just now. Do you want me to present my case again?"

I clenched my jaw and headed into the living room without answering, but halfway there, Natsume grabbed my wrist and my legs grinded to a halt. I wrenched my arm away with a huff, "What do you want from me, Natsume? Honestly."

He let go and clenched his fists a couple of times before he stuffed his fists into his pockets. The turn of his head toward the doorway told me he wasn't going to answer. I laughed scathingly and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well here's some honesty for a change…you wanted to know what I thought about that presentation of yours? The only thing that whole display did was make me want to make out with you."

His eyes widened and I pursed my lips at his surprise. "You can't honestly be that surprised when you were practically pressed up against me indecentl—"

"Don't mind me," sang Sumire from the doorway, kicking her boots off with a wry look on her face. "Continue with this scintillating conversation and let me just find this _very _interesting article I just found in the Tokyo Times, shall I?"

Natsume's eyes darkened immediately and his voice was low and possibly threatening. "Shouda, don't." His eyes flickered to mine briefly before he addressed her once more. "Not now."

Sumire laughed condescendingly and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're such an arrogant, selfish playboy," she hissed, tapping the palm of her hand with a rolled up newspaper. "You think you can go around bending all of the rules just because you're Natsume fucking Hyuuga? Well think again. Not on my watch, you don't."

I paled, looking between green eyes and red. "What's going on here?" Sumire wouldn't talk like this to Natsume unless something really messed up happened. I'm scared to think what. I swallowed and looked at Natsume once more but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Do you want to tell her or should I?" Sumire demanded hotly, taking two steps closer into the room.

A long moment passed before I wordlessly asked for the newspaper and Sumire unrolled it into my hands. Steeling myself, I bypassed the front page and flicked through the paper before I stopped at page seven. There was a picture of Luna and Natsume on the cover in black and white. Luna had her hands hooked through one of Natsume's arms and the both of them stood looking like movie stars. Luna's smile was brilliant and white while Natsume looked handsome as always. Behind them stood Natsume's mother and Luna's father, I guessed.

The heading read: _Two Empires in the Hands of Two Heirs_

_After a slow start launch in America from the Koizumi furniture empire,  
they have enlisted the help of the Hyuugas.  
The Hyuugas are notorious for turning everything they touch to gold  
so this collaboration between two prominent brands is sure to be a success.  
With the Hyuuga influence already booming in North America, as well as Europe and Asia,  
it will only be a matter of time before the Koizumis hit their stride.  
Consequently, both heirs to the vast empires are expected to lead the operation  
by heading to America __with their parents to take the reins of the  
family business early _at the end of the school year—that's right,  
these young adults are still merely high school students.  
"I have no doubts that Natsume is ready for this step," said Michi Hyuuga,  
the oldest Hyuuga clan member. "He's a very smart boy, just like his father."  
Natsume Hyuuga was not available for commentary, but the Koizumi heir was.  
"I'm very excited to take this step with Natsume," Luna said brightly.  
"We go to the same school and we're very good friends. It's like doing  
that school project again. Remember, Natsume? The one we got an A+ on?"  
The world will see a lot more from this devastating duo, that much is certain.  
A romance perhaps?  
"Oh, I don't know," Luna smiled shyly. "But you never know."

I rolled the newspaper up slowly and swallowed a tight breath of jealousy. "When were you going to tell me?" I asked softly, looking at Natsume. I felt betrayed, wounded, like somebody had just grabbed me by the throat and slammed my head against the wall until the breath was knocked out of me. "I know this doesn't mean you like her but if you're going to be on my back about fraternizing with the enemy, then you shouldn't be such a hypocrite."

Natsume's eyes flashed before he adopted one of his bland expressions from when I first met him. "This isn't by choice. It's not like I asked for this. You, on the other hand, willingly put yourself in harm's way by agreeing to go to his stupid fucking party—" He stopped abruptly and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Forget it. I don't want to waste my breath when you're bent on being so fucking stubborn and stupid. Call me when you've grown up."

His eyes still blazed molten lava but his shoulders were set obstinately as he turned and walked to the door. I fought against two kinds of anger until he'd pulled the door open. "Wait," I called, barely containing my ire. I dropped the newspaper onto the ground and riffled through my book bag before pulling out a carefully wrapped gift. Standing up, I tossed it carelessly in his direction and couldn't help the bitterness from lacing my words. "Happy birthday, Natsume."

-;-

_Stranded in this spooky town,  
Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down.  
This floor is crackling cold, she took my heart, I think she took my soul.  
With the moon I run far from the carnage of the fiery sun._

_Driven by the strangle of vein showing no mercy, I do it again._  
_Open up your eye. You keep on crying, baby, I'll bleed you dry._  
_Skies they blink at me; I see a storm bubbling up from the sea._  
Closer – **Kings of Leon**

"Don't let him make you feel guilty for going, Mikan," Sumire snapped, not looking up from her perusal of dresses. "It's not a crime to go to a party and if it's as fun as I've heard it is, then we deserve it. I know you've gone through enough shit to last the school year, so sit back and let me pick the perfect dress for you. We _will _have fun. Hyuuga shit be damned!"

I fiddled with the strap of my bag and watched as she pulled out a bright yellow dress. "I don't know. Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

She placed the dress back on the rack and turned to me with her hands on her hips. "And why not? Akimoto's not stupid enough to try anything when you've practically got your own guard there to protect you so what's the big deal? You know they're just overreacting. As long as you don't go anywhere dark and seedy, you'll be fine. I'll be with you the whole time and if he tries anything, I'll kick the living shit out of him so what are you afraid of?"

I laughed and shook my head at her words before wincing at her green gaze. "I don't really do parties."

She snorted in disbelief. "More like you've never been to one to know. I can see right through you, Mikan."

I shrugged and followed her around the shop while she pressed dress after dress to see what suited me. "By the way, thanks for looking out for me. I've never…never really had a friend that would do that for me before."

"It's fine," Sumire replied stiffly, pushing her black hair away from her face. "I know what it's like to be an only child. Imai and Natsume both have brothers and sisters to look after them. We outcasts need to have each other's backs, hm?" She tossed a small grin over her shoulder and shoved a black dress into my arms. "Try that one on."

I frowned at her and obediently went into one of the dressing rooms. "I vaguely remember hearing you had a brother though."

There was a wry scoff. "I do, but I never talk to him anymore. My parents divorced when I was six and my brother was twelve at the time. He lives with my dad in some obscure part of Japan and my mother got custody over me. She figured it made sense, you know, since she's in the beauty industry and I'm a girl. She figured it'd be easy to get me to follow in her footsteps. Never could please the bitch though," her voice was bitter.

I pulled the zipper at the back of my dress up and murmured, "You really shouldn't call your mother that."

"There's no point lying about it. Koko could tell you the same thing. She's a superficial jerk that thinks the world revolves around her. She's so focused on getting the spotlight that she doesn't even remember she has a kid to take care of and when one of her secretaries reminds her I'm alive, she'll buy me a nice dress, take me out for dinner with some colleagues and pretend I'm the perfect daughter; and if I'm lucky to have dinner with her alone, she'll grill me about how much I eat or some other petty shit. I hate her."

"No wonder you were so excited about that dinner with your mom a while back," I commented lightly, pulling back the curtain.

She looked at me critically from her perch on one of the waiting chairs and shook her head. "That looks terrible. Try this one on." I hugged the blue against my chest and pulled the curtain shut once more in time to hear her sigh. "Yeah, mom always manages to make me feel like the scum between her toes. I used any excuse I could to get out of hanging out with her and she never tried to call my bullshit. It's not like she wanted to hang out with me either."

"Are you sure?"

"It's pretty fucking obvious. I used to have to hang out at the company building by myself until I met Koko and she never spared me a second glance, never came to have lunch with me or saw me during breaks like the other moms or dads. Being in that building every day after school was torture until I met my ex-boyfriend and didn't have a reason to go there anymore." She paused. "I've told you this part already."

I opened the curtain and she scrutinized me again before shaking her head. "It's too bad you're too small to fit some of my dresses. I've got some really cute ones that you'd look good in if you were a few inches taller and a little more patted around the waist," Sumire commented wistfully. "Change out of that and we'll go somewhere else."

"So what happened?" I asked once we'd left the store. "You got a boyfriend and you just stopped being friends with Koko? Just like that?"

Sumire winced and looked away. "Let's just say I was a little too serious about him. He was my first real boyfriend; I wanted to do my best to keep from having to go back to mom."

I hummed in understanding. "So basically you were one of those girls that completely devote their lives to their boyfriends and forget old friends?"

She glared at me for my honesty. "Your honesty is _so _refreshing." She smirked at my laugh and steered us toward another boutique before finishing, "I drifted away from my best friend and the other girls thought I was a snobby little punk who thought she was better than everyone else. At an all girls' school…well, it got bad. But I moved here. It's a boarding school, so I don't have to see my mom all the time and I could start new with no strings attached and no past to haunt me. I figured I needed that." She shrugged and flipped her long black hair over her shoulder. "It worked, too, until Koko came along."

"I guess he kind of represents everything you were trying to leave behind," I ventured cautiously.

"Yeah, hence the hair color change," she grinned, fingering a lock playfully. "I probably went too far with Natsume though," she mused thoughtfully, flipping quickly through a rack of dresses. She looked up and met my eyes. "He reminded me of my ex…I didn't want you to end up like me. You know…without friends." She ducked to another rack of dresses before she pulled one up and held it out speculatively. "How about this one? It looks like it could suit you."

I rolled my eyes and reached out for it, loving the color but hating the thought of trying on another dress. She snorted at the expression on my face. "Don't be such a bookworm and become Beauty for one night," Sumire whined, pushing me by the shoulders into the change rooms.

"All right, all right, don't push," I muttered, humoring her. I doubt she'd been able to do this shopping thing with a friend for some time now and the time I spent with Sumire was definitely putting things into perspective. Maybe this party wasn't such a bad idea after all. I snorted at that and moved to pull the curtain shut until Sumire stopped me.

"Hey Mikan?" I turned around to look at her to see that her green eyes were almost shy. "Don't tell anyone else, ok?"

-;-

"How does my hair look?" Sumire fluffed up her hair and smoothed down her dress.

Kaoru parked his car on the side of the long, long driveway, tucked his keys into his pants and turned around to gaze at her. One hand rested on his chin as his eyes raked over her form. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was checking her out with insane interest, but Kaoru merely nodded and snapped his finger. "Hot, baby. Let's go! A party isn't a party until Kaoru Nendo arrives. I can't keep my people waiting. Another riot might break out."

I snorted and fiddled with the edge of the invite, glad I wasn't made to wear high heels like Sumire. The already tall girl towered over me now in heels so tall, she put more than half a foot between our heights. At the back of my mind, I registered Sumire and Kaoru's banter before the butterflies in my stomach returned full force and I tried to control the fierce pounding in my chest.

When we reached the entrance to Akimoto's house, four bouncers barred the door and held their hands out to check the validity of our invitations. Voices all around me quickly scattered my thoughts and I looked around to see a bunch of familiar students lined up behind us waiting to get in. Even from outside, I could hear the rumble of music vibrate through the air and up my feet and once the bouncers took our invites, the air seemed to compress the further we moved into the house.

"This is what all the hype was about?" I yelled three times before Sumire could catch my words. The music was ear splitting to the point where the person right beside you couldn't hear what the hell you were saying. It was obnoxious. The place was packed from the hallway to the large living space and the lights were dim. I could feel myself breaking out into a sweat with the amount of body heat being given off here. We made it to where the large surround system was hooked up with a huge flat screen TV displaying music videos that seemed silenced with the techno beats blasting from the speakers.

I felt a hand grab my wrist before I was being pulled between dancing bodies toward the large table with drinks and appetizers. I collapsed against the wall and looked up to see Sumire's laughing face already glowing with contentment. She was dancing with Kaoru with flawless synchronization and it looked like she was having so much fun. I smiled and quickly saw Misaki's face through the crowd and waved her over.

Misaki stopped in front of me wearing tight black leggings, white high top shoes, a gleaming gold top underneath a black leather jacket and gold studs in her ears. She whistled slowly once the music died down while another song started up and nodded, "You clean up well, Skinnies. What do you think?" She glanced around the place to finish her question.

Before I could say anything, her eyes lighted up and she grinned, "I actually like this song. Come dance with me!"

I could feel extra heat sear through my veins up into my cheeks and I followed her uncertainly. "I don't know how to dance," I shouted twice into her ear once the music was on full-swing. She merely smirked and her gaze moved over to somebody behind me before I felt warm hands at my waist and turned around to catch velvet eyes belonging to Rui. He moved my hips with a smirk on his lips and murmured, "Stop being so uptight and let _go_. It's not that hard."

I could hear Misaki's lips at my ear, "Rui'll take care of your problem. He's a master with his feet."

It was harder than it looked, especially with Rui, but when Kaoru came sweeping in to take one of my hands and twirled me around on the spot with such grace and speed, I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up my throat. Before long, Sumire and I were playfully singing to whatever pop song came onto the speakers and shaking our hips to each compression of air that throbbed through our bodies from the bone-shaking bass.

I was hyper aware that I was giggling for no apparent reason and that I was sweating from dancing and singing. I wanted to take a break. "No, not yet! This song is great," Sumire exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to her enough to grind her hips close to mine. I laughed and followed her with less enthusiasm as she twisted and turned me around to her heart's content. At certain moments in time, I could feel eyes on us and the thought made a blush flow into my cheeks. I hoped to play it off as exertion from dancing.

After two more songs, I really needed a break and true to her word, Sumire tagged along to keep me safe even though I was certain she wanted to keep dancing. Kaoru swept up to me again and twirled me around while Misaki and Rui ganged up on Sumire. She laughed and I dragged Kaoru along with me to allow her to let loose. I'd never seen her have so much fun and I didn't want her to babysit me the whole night.

Kaoru collapsed on a chair and waved his hand in his face in a futile attempt to cool himself down. We'd found a corner that was a little ways away from the pounding music and I didn't need to strain much to hear him. "Well, I can't say I'm disappointed with this party. It's awesome!" Kaoru's eyes were bright as he grabbed a water bottle from a nearby table. "How do you like it?"

"Yes, how do you like it, Mikan?"

I whirled around and tottered slightly with surprise as Akimoto stood before us with a grin on his face. The handsome host was wearing a fitted black tuxedo that displayed his lanky form and the golden tie around his neck brightened up his bluish green eyes. I felt my heart slam in my throat with trepidation at being caught off guard. For some reason, I'd forgotten this was his party.

"It's really cool. You have a beautiful place; I can't believe your parents would let you throw this huge party here," I said, gesturing in the other room where bodies were still dancing. I smiled, "I've never had so much fun."

_Liar. _

An image of Natsume came up, unbidden.

Akimoto smiled delightedly and raked his eyes over me. I instantly felt a chill run down my spine when he murmured, "Well, you look gorgeous, Mikan, and don't think I didn't notice you dancing your heart out there." I looked away, embarrassed, but he only chuckled before glancing around the place. "I'm glad you're having fun here—" his eyes darted down as he slapped a hand over his pocket before he smiled apologetically and glanced at the screen of his phone. "I'm sorry, I've got to take this." He looked around before smiling distractedly again. "Enjoy yourselves and make sure you guys keep to this area. Upstairs is sealed off."

I thanked him again and watched curiously as he answered the call while weaving between people. I followed five paces before watching his figure disappear up the stairs. I wondered why he hadn't just sealed the stairs off with bouncers.

"Come dance, Mikan," Kaoru tapped a finger on my wrist. "I have to shake off the heebies jeebies that kid gives me."

I laughed. "Give me a second, I'm so thirsty! Do you want some punch?" I moved to take the ladle and fill up my cup.

Kaoru snorted. "I'm the designated driver, remember? I can't drink spiked shit but you can go on ahead." He chuckled when I turned to him with wide eyes, "Don't tell me you didn't know? Go ahead. I'll take care of you."

I shook my head and opted for a water bottle. "I think it would be best to have all my wits about me here." _Natsume would shit a brick if he knew I was drinking at Akimoto's. _I took a hearty gulp from the water bottle and polished it off quickly before Kaoru led me back to the dance floor.

The music was heady…I could feel my spirits lifting considerably the more I danced and sang and let go. Rui came back to dance with me some more and this time, I liked it. He smirked with praise at my newfound moves before I was exchanged back to Kaoru, then Sumire, Misaki and then to Anna and Nonoko. I didn't know how much time passed from then, but music blended together and songs kept changing.

I giggled between Anna and Sumire when I shouted, "I need to pee."

I waited to see if anybody else wanted to go with me, but Sumire was busy dancing with Anna and Nonoko. I turned to search for Kaoru and could see him hitting it off with Rui. I bit my bottom lip to stop from grinning.

"I'll go with you," Misaki leaned into me, laughing when she pushed some girl wearing a tube top that did nothing to stop her breasts from spilling loose. "Such a skank," Misaki snorted. I laughed and together we looked for the bathroom. Luckily the line was short and I went in before Misaki to take care of business. The bathroom was in a random corner of the house…almost straight across from the entrance of the house.

As I waited for Misaki, an argument broke out by the doors.

Two girls and one boy were trying to get past the bouncers, screaming something I couldn't hear over the music. The four bouncers at the door were busy…one with each intruder and the other with his phone to his ear.

It was so hot. I closed my eyes and could feel sweat dripping from between my shoulder blades. Fanning myself, I sat down on the ground, leaning my back against the wall opposite the bathroom. When I looked back at the door, my heart froze. Akimoto was barreling toward the door. Bodies blocked my view from my position on the ground, but a short moment passed before the three party crashers came into view, just barely. I could pick out the bright pink top of one of the girls' I'd seen. I craned my neck enough to see them disappearing up the steps.

Akimoto was last. He stopped to look around slowly…so slow, in fact, I moved my head down and away nonchalantly for a good ten seconds before turning back.

He was gone.

I just knew what was going to happen.

-;-

_Come here. Please hold my hand, Lord, now.  
Help me, I'm scared please show me how  
To fight this. God has a master plan  
And I guess, I am in his demand._

_Please save me. This time I cannot run  
And I'll see you when this is done  
And now I have come to realize  
That you are the one who's left behind.  
_Not Now – **Blink 182**

I looked around me slowly before I picked myself from off the ground and casually wandered after him, dusting myself off all the while. The party was still in full swing and briefly, I thought of Misaki still taking care of business in the bathroom.

It was for the best.

I had to take care of this. My heart was racing with the implications, all of the consequences of trailing him by myself. I had to know for certain. At the back of my mind, I wished Akimoto had changed and stopped trafficking or _something_. He led such a normal life. He was such a charming guy and his apologies before were entirely genuine. Maybe I was being stupid. Maybe I should just listen to Natsume and stay away from Akimoto.

But as I inched up the stairs, quiet as a snake, I knew I just had to know in some way that this was real. Once I heard or saw it, I could just go back downstairs and head home with Kaoru and Sumire. Nobody had to know. I just needed to.

I thanked the heavens I was wearing flats once more as I listened quietly on the landing to the second floor. The floor was dimly lit. The staircase divided the whole floor in half so either side of the banisters were lined with walls and the odd door like something you would expect of a hotel.

I listened quietly for any signs of raised voices or footsteps but there was nothing but painful silence. I expected to hear _something_ from four people disappearing up the stairs and hadn't really decided what course of action to take if something like _this _were to happen… I made to step toward the first door on my right when a hand covered my mouth and another grabbed my shoulder.

My scream caught in my throat.

"Calm down, Mikan. It's just me."

I didn't know whether to cry with relief or kick Kaoru in the nuts. He slowly lifted his hand from my mouth and continued in a reprimanding whisper, "What do you think you're doing up here? Didn't you hear that prick say upstairs was off limits?"

My heart was racing as I narrowed my eyes. "Were you _following _me?" I hiss-whispered.

"When Misaki came back saying you'd disappeared, it didn't take a genius to know where you went," Kaoru said lowly, without a trace of his usual zeal. "I saw the way you followed him after he got that phone call. We're here to have _fun, _Mikan, not cause any trouble." He lifted his eyebrow sternly and held out a hand. "Let's go back, ok?"

I felt like throwing a tantrum, but the earnest look on his face made my anger simmer.

I sighed, nodded and reached for his hand.

The door to my left opened swiftly and the three people I'd seen earlier stumbled out. I jumped back reflexively as a tight knot formed in my throat. Akimoto walked through the doors with a set of keys in his hand as if he'd been about to lock the door before his eyes flashed from me to Kaoru and back.

It all happened so fast.

Vaguely, I could hear the guy in the group drawl slowly, "Hey, guys…are you two looking for a room?" The question was followed by a titter of giggles before I felt an arm circle my throat and heard Akimoto's steel voice ordering, "Get out of here, you three, and the next time I tell you not to come to my house, _don't._"

I swallowed thickly and whispered for him to let go of my neck but Akimoto merely waited for the three to disappear down the stairs before he tightened his hold. I found it difficult to breathe. He dragged me toward the door and opened it. His voice was still hard steel, "Hands up, Nendo, and move slowly into the room. I know you're not stupid enough to try anything funny."

I could feel tears spring to my eyes when Kaoru came into view with his hands up. His eyes were guarded and stupidly, the only thought that came to my mind when he walked past me was, _I hope he's not angry. _

"Listen," Kaoru's voice was controlled and full of reason, "You don't want to hurt Mikan—"

Before I could register that Akimoto's hold on my neck had loosened, Kaoru was already knocked out cold on the ground and Akimoto was lowering the baseball bat. With my heart in my throat, I ripped his arm fully off of me and fell to cradle Kaoru's head in my lap. There was blood seeping from the area where his forehead met his hair and the sight made a sob bubble up from my throat. I pressed two fingers to his neck and waited a long moment but I couldn't tell what his pulse was and what was mine. The blood was pounding in my ears so loudly I couldn't make out any other sounds.

"I hate you." After a moment I brought my head back up to see Akimoto leaning the baseball bat up against the wall by the door once again and choked out softly, "I hate you so much."

"Life goes on," Akimoto muttered dryly. He stood up and turned his eyes to mine and I couldn't help but think the bad guy should not look like this, so deceptively handsome. He deliberately flicked the lock of the door and the sound reverberated around the room like the safety of a gun being pulled. Then, slowly, he walked to the desk settled at the other end of the room and pulled open the drawer without taking his eyes from mine.

He pulled one gun, and then another, and placed them both on the surface of the desk.

It was as much of a warning as I needed and I dragged Kaoru with me until my back was against the wall of the bookcase. I cradled his head against my stomach and whispered soft apologies in my head as I watched the blood at his temples seep further into his black hair. When I closed my eyes, I pictured Natsume like this and I could feel bile inch up my throat at the visual.

With shaking fingers, I pressed two fingers at the pulse point of his wrists and waited with baited breath only to feel a faint beat against the pad of my fingers. Slowly, I raised my eyes to Akimoto who was standing stoically by the door with one of the guns tucked into his pants. The more the situation dawned on me, the more incredulous I became. It startled me when a dry laugh escaped me. When his eyes flickered to mine, I swallowed tightly. "I thought you knew better than to try the drug stunt after inviting me here."

If my own laugh startled me, Akimoto's barking chuckle almost made me jump out of my skin. "When I invited you, I told you to tell me by the end of the week if you were coming or not. I really did want you to come, Mikan, because I really do like you." He chuckled wistfully before he shook his head. "But you never said a word to me, so I assumed you weren't interested. You were so hung up on that fucking Hyuuga anyway, so I wasn't surprised."

I swallowed at the manic edge to his voice. "So I changed the guest list and changed the event." His eyes seemed to harden as he slid down the door and sat with his back against it, facing me. "But then you just had to go changing your damn mind two days before and lo and behold, you know the rest…I had to do damage control. I had to invite a whole bunch of random fuckers like your pal there to fill the house up. I had to call others to tell them the party was off. I had to change the guest list. _Again._" His blue-green eyes seemed almost black from where I was sitting. I felt a shiver run up my spine when he lowered his voice and murmured, "All of this hassle…just for you."

A thousand questions raced through my mind and I held Kaoru closer reflexively. "You didn't have to invite me. You could have just told me your parents had a quota you couldn't go over."

"You were never interested in me, were you?" he said dryly. "Or else you would've known…Do you really think that matters now?" his voice was dry. "I like you, but you're not very fucking bright, are you? When I met you, I didn't think you were nosy. Hyuuga wouldn't go for a girl like that…so imagine my surprise when I see you and _Nendo_ up here where you don't _belong._ Do you understand the meaning of "_stay downstairs_"? You'd think with all the friends I invited for you, you'd be distracted enough but here you fucking are." I tried to find something to say, but his eyes brightened before he said wickedly, "Unless you were looking for little ol' me? Finally interested?"

He laughed lowly to himself as if he'd just told a private joke.

I could feel indignation swell up inside me. "If you wanted me distracted, you should have invited Natsume."

Akimoto sobered up at that and his voice was icy. "I won't warrant that with a response. I'm sure all of the reasons you can come up with about why I didn't invite Hyuuga are true."

I tried to will Kaoru awake but his pulse stayed slow and faint underneath my fingertips. _Please wake up, please wake up so that we can think of something together…_

Out loud, I baited, "So if I didn't come, this place would have been full of your addict friends? Why do you even _do _this? You're already rich. I doubt you're doing it for the money…so why?"

He scoffed and sent me a dark look from under his eyelashes. "If you think I'm stupid enough to answer your questions, you've severely underestimated me. This isn't some movie. I'm not going to spill my dark secrets to you."

I looked away and down and watched silently as Kaoru's chest rose and fell. His hair was becoming matted with blood and as an afterthought, I tried to look for the source. The wound was at his temple, just along his hairline and I paused, wishing for a jacket or _something_ to press against his head. I thought about ripping the length of the fabric of my dress, but opted to look quickly through Kaoru's pockets first. There was a napkin, but it soaked through quickly. I moved to the bottom of my dress and tried several times before I ripped off a strip at the end and tied it once, twice, around his head.

I could feel Akimoto's eyes on me the whole time, but it wasn't until he spoke that my eyes lifted back to his. "Nendo's a lucky, lucky man…too bad he's gay. If I was in his position, I'd thoroughly appreciate it."

I squared my jaw and brushed Kaoru's jawline softly. "What are you going to do to me?"

His voice was inappropriately light. "I'm trying to figure out what to do with you…if you weren't so nosy, I would never have to worry about this, but as it is, you had to befriend Hyuuga and you had to stick your pretty little head where it doesn't belong and now we have a little problem in our hands." I looked up when he said the last bit and watched as he ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "When you bite your lip like that, it doesn't help your case," Akimoto murmured softly, eyes gleaming with mischief.

I turned away resolutely and settled my fingers against Kaoru's wrist again. "You didn't have to knock him out, you know. He doesn't even know anything about what you do. He wasn't supposed to be a part of this. You didn't have to drag him into this."

"Correction: _you _didn't have to drag him into this. He was only invited here because of _you_," his voice was stern. His mood swings were making me dizzy. "If I didn't have to keep you from being suspicious of anything, he would never make it into this house."

I looked down at Kaoru's closed eyes and felt tears forming…spilling at my cheeks. "You shouldn't have invited him on my account. I wish you didn't," my voice was soft.

He laughed. "I didn't hear any complaints from you. With those pleading eyes of yours, it's impossible not to be unaffected." I looked up at him in surprise and he raised his eyebrows in challenge. "I know you're not that dense, Mikan. I really did like you."

"You don't even know me," I argued weakly, "How on Earth can you like me?"

Akimoto shrugged and pulled the gun from his waist to tap it idly on his knee. "Hyuuga and I seem to have the same tastes. I was curious. Why did Hyuuga like you? You're pretty, sure, but there are tons of pretty girls at Alice Academy." He lifted his eyes up to the ceiling and continued thoughtfully, "But I've seen you with him. You make him happy. I wondered if you could make me happy too." His eyes redirected from the ceiling to me. "I'm not a very happy person, Mikan."

I scrutinized him, dashing away my tears, before I said, "You could have fooled me."

He smiled wryly at that and twirled the gun around in his hands. "You confused me. You were different. From the second moment I met you, driving you to the library, I could see that you were different. The clothes you wear, the way you act…you didn't like me when we first met. I'll always remember that."

I didn't say a word after that, letting the silence engulf us. The air seemed almost uncomfortable with tension, but when I looked at him, he looked reposed and unfettered. I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered where Natsume was. I wondered what would happen to me and Kaoru.

"What are you going to do with me?" I asked finally, feeling like hours had passed though it could have been minutes. "You're not going to drug me—there wouldn't be a point to it. You're not going to kill me—things would just be more complicated for you. You're also not going to keep me here…you couldn't. It'll only be a matter of time before they find out Kaoru and I have been gone for a while and then they'll call Natsume and Hotaru and then you won't be kidding anyone…"

He was thoughtful, but amused. "Don't rule anything out just yet…I might be desperate enough to use one of those ideas." He laughs wryly and makes a show of examining the small handgun in his hand.

I bit my lip from saying something that would drive him over the edge, but the question was out of my lips before I could stop it. "Why did you do that to her? Why did you manipulate her like that? She's so young. She really liked you…You shouldn't have been so callous."

"I don't owe you an explanation," he rolled his eyes, pointing the gun at me and squinting his eyes. I held my breath before he moved it to blow the end. I didn't understand what he was doing. I didn't understand any of this really.

"You don't," I agreed slowly, "—but it's not like you have anything to lose by telling me now."

He looked at me for a moment, his calm fell away to display tension and unease. I watched him without blinking until he turned away and said, "I haven't decided what I'm going to do with you…I'm waiting for a phone call… but I'm not going to tell you anything in the meantime. So sit still and shut up. There's a raving party downstairs. I've finally got you all to myself. Don't tempt me from making it permanent."

I clamped my lips shut and closed my eyes. Unbidden, an image of Uncle Kazu came to mind…then my mom, which only made me think about dad. It scared me to think that it had been just under a year ago that my father had passed away and already, I was finding it hard to picture him in my head. The image I had drawn up didn't do him justice. It was like I was looking at him from underwater. It was all frayed edges and dulled lines. In my mind's eyes, I filled in the grey of his eyes with more colour, the colour of Uncle Kazu's eyes…filled his hair with a little more shine.

When I was done, I felt my heart smile sadly.

_Oh, I miss you, daddy. _

How many months had it been since he'd passed away? March, I remember. Two months after my birthday. It was November 29th now…almost December. _Nine months then_, I thought. _Nine months since I saw your smiling face. Do you miss me?_

It wouldn't be so bad, would it? If Akimoto killed me now, at least I would be with dad.

The thought sent my heart stirring. I didn't quite know what that meant.

I wasn't afraid…I was just sad—sad that Kaoru had been pulled into this because of me. Sad that I hadn't been able to set things straight with mom. Sad that Natsume and I had ended off on bad terms. Sad that Sumire's smiling face from earlier wouldn't be smiling for long. Sad that I never got the chance to get to know Uncle Kazu. Sad that I hadn't finished that fat book by Charles Darwin. Sad about a lot of things…even the play I had worked so hard memorizing for. Sad that I couldn't see Hotaru and Ruka get married, or Sumire and Koko get together. Sad that I didn't get my fairytale happy ending.

A little voice from the back of my head asked me, _If you could do it all over, what would you do?_

The little voice sounded like dad whenever he tried to comfortingly teach me a lesson after I did something stupid. I never noticed until now. The thought made my heart smile and when he asked me again, calling my name, I thought about it. I could picture dad with his arm over my shoulder and my head tucked under his chin, rocking me from side to side in a moment of perfect companionship. A memory of Natsume doing almost the exact same thing once upon a time surfaced under my eyes and suddenly, I knew my answer.

_I wouldn't hold myself back. I've been holding myself back my entire life. _Daddy rubbed my shoulder, like he always did, and kissed my temple…warm lips invisible…I thought I could feel them from a memory. _I miss you, I miss you. _

I turned to him and watched his gentle eyes as he lifted his hand and touched my face. I could barely feel it, but I felt like it was there. He smiled one of his full grins, like Koko's, and tucked a strand of my hair under my ear, like Natsume had done. _Don't be afraid._

I wrinkled my nose in confusion…because I wasn't afraid. I didn't think so anyway.

He chuckled, soundless, and stood up without a sound. _You said you wouldn't hold yourself back. Don't let me hold you back either. _

I didn't know what he meant and told him so.

Before he could answer, a loud voice was yelling and my eyes flew open to stare at the door where Akimoto was still leaning. He lifted his head up and glared at it and pointed the gun in my direction and his other hand moved to put a finger to his lips in silence. I had thought about yelling for help, but Kaoru and I would get shot. I could hear them pounding at doors and it wasn't long before a hand was pounding on the study. The doorknob rattled.

"The room's occupied! Go away," Akimoto's tone was annoyed. He picked himself off the floor and walked toward the desk to grab the other gun. My heart shrunk when he moved toward me. He checked them for something, but my eyes slid away from him to the door.

Koko's voice filtered in. "Open the damn door!"

"I'm busy. If you know what's good for you, you'd go away," he drawled. Then Akimoto turned and sat down right beside me, facing me, with an expression that seemed highly uncalled for…he looked almost at peace. I could feel the coldness of the metal against my skin and it took me a long second to realize he was wiping at my cheek, at the tears. "You're not afraid?" He didn't wait for a response before he brought the cold barrel of the gun to my temple and smiled softly when he pressed the barrel of the other gun to his own. "That makes this a little easier."

I closed my eyes and saw Natsume and before I could stop them, the words came. "I'm sorry."

I could feel the gun press harder into my temple, and I opened my eyes when the door burst open. In a last ditch effort, I dove at the gun aimed to Akimoto's head. Two explosions…a white sear of pain and I could see Natsume's handsome face brightened up with a shy grin and heard daddy say, his voice in water, _Mikan, I love you._


	24. Soldier On

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The rest of this story, this plot, the quirks of the characters and the idiot that is Akimoto Hitoshi are mine. :)**  
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**Dedication: **to _**May Madness**_ because if I wasn't so _in the zone_, I would _not _have finished this so quickly. Your reviews are really encouraging :)

**Author's Note: **Thank you for your _HILARIOUS _reviews :) Frustrated, completely gob-smacked readers are my favourite! This is definitely a denouement kind of piece that will explain a lot more than describe so sit back and enjoy. Two more chapters and this bad boy is _done_. Also, I need more music. Also, let me know what you think? Last also, Heartbroken Confession and I are working on a little collab for May Madness but it'll probably be posted in June. Kinda defeats the purpose but put us on your alerts!

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**Chapter 24: Soldier On**

_I've got to make this life make sense  
Can anyone tell what I've done?  
I miss the life.  
I miss the colours of the world.  
Can anyone tell me where I am?_  
Away From the Sun – **Three Doors Down**

I knew I wasn't dead.

I just couldn't be.

My head wouldn't be throbbing with pain otherwise. Wasn't heaven supposed to be all fluffy clouds and hot water springs? Because I distinctly remembered people repeating that those who had been in pain are _"no longer hurting" _or something like that. Well the pain in my head was definitely _not _just a figment of my imagination and I didn't think I was so bad a person that I warranted hell…at least I hoped I didn't. Because dad wouldn't be in hell and the only way I'd be okay with dying at sixteen is if I'd be with dad in the end.

I tried to open my eyes against the fog, open my mouth against the sandpaper, but nothing was working. There was a bright light searing against my eyes. I was blind. I couldn't see. I felt as if I was underwater, hearing the shrill, acute ringing of something dull in my ears. Or like I had cotton balls stuck in my head because I could vaguely make out alien voices…something I could remember hearing from the teachers in _Charlie Brown…_the ones that talked as if they had globs of marshmallows in their mouths.

I could see flashes of colours erupt from behind my eyes…each flash more vivid than the last.

Briefly, I wondered what it would be like to be colorblind before the colours fogged over my mind.

-;-

Splashes of colour spilled under my eyelids like flicking a paintbrush of colour onto a canvas and the incoherent alien murmurings were no longer so incoherent. My jaw ached and my head was pounding and try as I might, I could not open up my eyes. I would probably know when I could open my eyes, right? Because at the moment, I felt like somebody had sealed the seam of my eyes shut with super glue and that resistance was futile.

My arm hurt. I felt like it was weighed down with lead and I couldn't move it.

I tried my toes with the dull ringing still blaring and inconsistent in my ears.

"—Natsume thinks you're reckless and I think you are too, Mikan-sama, but I love you for it, I really do."

_Aoi!_

She paused for a long moment before her voice became sorrowful. "I'm so angry with him…I never would have thought he would do something like that… He was never like that when we were dating…always so proud, so confident, so fun." Her voice was sweet and angelic as always and I wished I could see her…I wished I could open these pesky eyes of mine and take her in. I haven't seen her in so long.

"I don't know what's happening with him right now. Is it bad that I still care about him?" her voice sounded so wistful. "Maybe it was my fault after all. Natsume-nii says I'm too naïve…too easily manipulated."

Natsume _would _say something like that though, the jerk.

I could feel the dark pulse of my blood pound loudly in my ears.

There was a moment's pause before Aoi continued softly, "But what about you, Mikan-sama? How are you? Won't you wake up and tell me? Because I'm worried about you most of all. Natsume has been going crazy for the—"

"Aoi."

I could feel my muscles melting at the sound of his voice. Where did he come from? Why was I only hearing his voice _now_? Vaguely I remembered his head in my lap…No, that wasn't right. That was Kaoru, wasn't it? Yes…and Natsume was the one in my dreams…he had daddy's voice then…he was telling me he loved me. I was so angry with him…why were we both so stupid? I was too stubborn and he was too proud. We weren't going to get _anywhere _with those things standing in our way…

"He's sorry, too, Mikan-sama. He's been pacing your room ever since you got here. How many days has it been…three days now? He's worried sick. He doesn't—"

"Aoi, stop that."

"—he doesn't eat much, doesn't leave your room much and gets Tsubasa-nii to bring his clothes and Ruka to bring his homework. Grandmother says he can't stay here unless he keeps up with his school work, you see? Grandmother's always thinking about things like that. I brought my homework here too…Grandmother doesn't want us to be involved in what happened at Hitoshi-kun's see? Because we Hyuugas aren't supposed to be involved in these kinds of things. It's bad publicity, she thinks. I told her you did it because of me…but Grandmother still doesn't care much for my…my problem. I'm not perfect like Natsume…She said she knew you were a problem child or something like that to begin with, but don't mind Grandmother…she's kind of a crazy bat lady."

I could hear Natsume's sigh. "Aoi, that's enough. You've missed more classes than I have and you can't keep blowing off your tutor. Now go."

"Oh, please, Natsume-nii. If you're going to be on my back about going to class, you shouldn't be such a hypocrite." There was a sharp intake of breath…Natsume's, I thought, before Aoi's voice continued, "Natsume…? What's wrong? I'm sorry…why are you—?"

The colours came swimming back underneath my eyelids. I fought against it…tried to figure out what just happened…but it was no use.

I was drowning.

-;-

I could hear bits and pieces of conversation as I fell in and out of consciousness.

My body felt heavy and every muscle was sore. I could remember thinking vaguely about why I hadn't peed in a while and why I still couldn't see. Was I really blind? Why haven't I been dreaming of father? I couldn't remember dreaming of anything. I couldn't remember the last thing I'd heard or seen or tasted. Was Natsume here?

There was silence, then a low groan.

Who was that?

"Mikan?" It was a soft, inquiring voice.

I tried to open my mouth to respond, open my eyes to see who it was, but nothing was working. I could hear a low whimper. Oh! Was that me? I tried again and heard the noise. Oh! So that was me…Pitiful noise. I tried one last heaving attempt to open up my eyes but nothing was working. There was the slam of a door, the patter of footsteps, the click of the door again and a soothing pressure against my forehead.

_Who are you?_

"Ms. Sakura, how are you feeling?" I tried to reply. Was my mouth moving? My throat felt like a raging inferno was burning from within me…like my throat was made of sandpaper and if I tried to speak, the walls of my throat would merely rub against each other like two cheese graters. I could feel strong arms move me and then ice cold liquid eased down my throat and I swallowed as a reflex. The water stopped. _No! I need more! _

I'm in heaven, I decided. Because my wish was their command it seemed.

My throat felt like a soft campfire now.

I sighed…I could even hear it and knew it was me. I realized I was now sitting.

"Mikan, can you hear me?" It was daddy's voice. Oh God, he would kill me for dying!

"Daddy?" I croaked, following the sound of his voice.

There was a short pause before I could hear the rustle of movement over the dull ringing in my ears. "No, sweetie, that's Uncle Kazu…I'm so glad you're awake."

I wrinkled my brow, searching without eyes. "Mom?"

"I'm here, honey," she said softly. Oh God, I've missed her voice. She grabbed my hand…her skin was so soft. Idly, I wondered, "Is Natsume here?"

Another rustle and his soft voice, so Natsume, was anguished but relieved, "I'm here."

"Natsume…" I turned toward his voice, wondering again, "—am I blind?"

His voice was amused and I didn't understand why there were other chuckles around the room. "No…your eyes are closed." I could tell he wanted to call me stupid, but probably not in front of my mother. Or the school principal. I hummed under my breath and tried to shift in my seat. I couldn't believe mom was here.

"I'm in a hospital…why can't I move my arm? …What happened?"

I began to lean my head back against the wall when Natsume's sharp voice said quickly, "Don't move! Did you want to lie down?" At my nod, I felt his gentle hands lift me as if I was a fallen bird and turned my body so that I was lying on my side again. On my arm. No wonder I felt like I'd lost the limb. I wriggled it free and sighed. Natsume continued his admonishment. "If you want to lie down, you're going to have to lie on your side again. You moved just in time for the bullet to graze just the back of your head. It's an open head wound and you have a fractured skull, a minor linear fracture, but because your brain tissue wasn't compromised in any way, you're more or less fine. The back of your head will be tender for a while and you might have a concussion for hitting your head so hard against the floor."

"Thank you, Doctor," was my sleepy, cheeky rebuttal.

I felt a hand on my temple, brushing my hair back. "Stubborn girl," mom said affectionately. "You should be a little nicer to Natsume. He only knows so much because he's been here for the past four days, asking the doctors how you are and if they're doing their job right." She laughed quietly here. I could feel my chest warming with…fullness. I opened my mouth to respond but mom continued, "I was so scared, Mikan. Don't you ever be so reckless again. I can't lose you…not you. Not the both of you in one year."

I could feel darkness start consuming me from my ears…spreading. "I love you," I said softly, watching as darkness rushed in to claim me.

-;-

_Don't think about it at all  
Just keep your head low  
and don't think about it all._

_Soldier on, soldier on._  
_Keep your heart close to the ground._  
_Soldier on, soldier on, keep your heart_  
_close to the ground._  
Soldier On – **The Temper Trap**

I woke up to dull afternoon light streaming through the windows and the dull beeping of the monitor placed close to my bed.

When I cracked my eyes open for the first time in what seemed like forever, the first thing I saw was Natsume bathed in light with a textbook in his lap, a pen in his hands and warm crimson eyes watching me. I was on my side again, facing him, and it wasn't until I thought about it that my head started hurting. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before opening them once more.

Natsume had put his book down and settled on the chair beside my bed. Up close, he looked beautiful as always, even with the lines of worry around his mouth. He was frowning. Briefly, I wondered how bad I looked. I'd been in bed for a while, hadn't I? When was the last time I'd peed? I licked my lips before blinking up at him. "Hi."

The frown settled further on his lips. When he spoke, his voice was hard. "I don't know who I want to beat the shit out of more: you or that bastard."

I swallowed. Oh no, he was angry.

I tried to sit up but winced and the anger on his face melted away to concern. He leaned forward to bring me to a sitting position and I murmured all the while, "I think I'm beat enough for the both of us and Kaoru—" my head snapped up and a white flash of pain ripped through my vision when I wailed, "Kaoru, where's Kaoru? Is he okay? He got whacked in the head_ hard_ and I—"

"He's fine," Natsume interrupted my hysterics, moving to shift the mechanics of my bed so that my body was comfortably propped up. "He has a nice mountain on the side of his head but Amane's taking good care of it."

I grinned at that, picturing the two of them together, until Natsume moved to fluff up my pillows. "You don't have to do that. I'm fine."

His eyes flashed to mine in annoyance and I snapped my mouth closed. "I don't think getting shot in the back of the head translates to being _fine _in any way," his voice was dry. I was about to retort but my heart completely stopped.

My eyes zoomed in on his hand…holding mine. I swallowed and looked up at him shyly. He avoided eye contact.

"I am so angry with you," his voice was soft. He didn't sound angry at all. "You couldn't have just let me handle it? You…I didn't want you to get into this because I didn't want you to get hurt but now look at you…" his eyes turned back but they avoided mine. Instead, he brushed a finger against my elbow…the skin there looked purple. "You're bruised." He brushed his thumb over one of my fingers and murmured softly, "You're scratched." His eyes looked to mine now, soft and warm, "You were bleeding," he whispered quietly.

I could feel my heart sinking with dread. I squeezed his fingers, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you worry." He closed his eyes and sighed and I looked at him like this…tired circles around his eyes, messy hair, the hints of a frown around his mouth.

_Think about your actions before you act on them…or you'll hurt the people you care about, _the voice in the back of my head, daddy's voice, reprimanded softly.

Natsume inhaled quickly before he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Better. My head hurts a little but it's nothing."

He scowled. "Do you always have to brush serious things off like they're nothing? I don't think getting a chunk of your head taken off is something to talk about so casually," he said wryly. He shifted in his seat and leaned forward, without removing the hand that was holding mine, and I held my breath when he reached out to pick up my hand and cradle it in both of his. His elbows were settled on my bed and when he looked up, almost shyly, he asked, "Is this okay?"

I didn't trust my voice and nodded quickly. "Is my…" I bit my lip. "Am I actually missing a piece of my head?"

"Not much," he said carefully. My heart dropped at that. "A little bit. You'll have a scar. The doctors say that when your hair grows out, nobody will be able to see it." He paused here and could probably see the panic in my eyes when he murmured, "You're fine though. That's what's important."

I exhaled quickly and rearranged the words in my head to ask, "What happened to my hair?"

"They had to cut a large section of your hair to see your wound…" Natsume said without preamble. "Open head injuries can easily get infected and they had to make sure your brain tissue hadn't been penetrated." He looked like he was trying not to, but a grin began to pull at the corners of his lips. Oh, he looked so good with a smile on his face. "Do you really care about your hair?"

I was instantly in the defensive. "Not unless the doctors shaved off some random patch at the back of my head and left me with an unfinished reverse-mullet." I watched him chuckle, a grin pulling at his lips. "So how does it look?" I picked up my hand to pull at the low ponytail draped over my shoulder and frowned, "It's still about the same length. Did they actually just shave a random patch off?"

Natsume shifted his chair over a bit, still smirking. "I wouldn't know for sure, but that's what it looks like, Patches."

I scowled at him and reached out to touch the back of my head until Natsume speedily grabbed my hand and frowned. "You're still tender. If you touch it, it'll just take longer to heal. Who knows when you'll be able to get out of here." He moved my hands together until he was holding them both. "You look fine, Polka Dots."

"Perhaps it's time for a haircut," I thought idly, watching as he enclosed my hands with his. "What do you think?"

He raised his head, then, and raised an eyebrow. I didn't actually expect him to answer, but he looked at me for a long second before answering, "I like your hair the way it is now…but whatever makes you happy."

I hummed while I watched him before a thought popped into my mind. "How's Sumire?"

Natsume's eyes visibly darkened before he muttered lowly, "She's fine. She's worried about you…and furious. Not as angry as I am with her, though. If she hadn't agreed to go with you and started spouting all of that shit back at your apartment—"

I pulled my hand away to stop him. "Okay, hold it right there! I'm my own person and I'm perfectly capable of taking responsibility for my actions. She may have put the idea in my head, but it was me who decided to go in the end. It was me who decided to follow Akimoto up the stairs and I've got to admit, it wasn't my finest decision—" Natsume snorted here, "—but if you're going to blame anybody, blame me." I took a deep breath and watched Natsume run a hand through his hair in exasperation. "And another thing," I hissed, once the thought comes racing into my mind, "—she didn't say anything wrong back at the apartment. I was going to find out sooner or later and she gave you the choice to tell me but you let her do the talking so you can't just—"

"I know," Natsume's voice was soft and wary. "I've been furious at everyone."

"Well stop that," I said firmly, "—and stop being angry at yourself. If you say one word about the whole '_I'm supposed to protect you' _shit, I'm going to blow a fuse."

Right when I said this, my head started splintering. I pressed my hand against my forehead and hunched over with a groan. Natsume's voice filtered through, "You need more painkillers." He batted my hands away and put his hand on my forehead and as bizarre as it sounded, I felt the ache in my head dull. "Sit back."

"No, no painkillers yet," I gasped at the thought of going under again. "I'll tell you when it gets really bad and then we'll get me more painkillers." He looked unconvinced, and I might have tried a subtle pout. "I like it when you're like this. You're very forthcoming. I don't want to wake up only to have you fall into one of your emo moods where you keep to yourself and leave _me _to do the talking."

At this, Natsume scowled, but he sat back obediently and I leaned forward and took one of his hands. "So…" I asked, "What happened with Akimoto?"

His face darkened again, but before he could answer, the door blew open and in came Koko, Ruka, Hotaru and Kaoru…all wearing ridiculous scrubs. I frowned and turned to Natsume…only to see him wearing the same thing. "Why are you guys wearing that?" I asked curiously, watching as Hotaru looked down at her scrubs distastefully.

Natsume answered slowly, "I was wondering when you would ask. You have an open head injury and they easily get infected so everybody who visits has to get sterilized and wear this," he pinched his green scrubs, "—over their clothes. That's why all of the flowers sent to you have been left at the hospital's reception. Too much shit in them."

"I refuse to bring those to our apartment," Hotaru grumbled sitting down in the chair Natsume had been doing his homework in.

I turned to look at Koko who was positively bouncing on the spot. When he caught my gaze, a massive grin spread the length of his face, "I _really _want to hug you right now," he said in a barely constrained voice. I laughed and moved to sit up. Natsume begrudgingly let go of my hand so that Koko could squeeze me extra tight in his arms. Avoiding the IV, Koko leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, murmuring, "There was so much blood. You had me so worried."

When Koko sat me back down, Ruka reached forward and squeezed my hand. Blue eyes searched mine and he said softly, "I almost had a heart attack when he shot at you. To answer your question, he's completely fine."

"You sound a little disappointed."

He shrugged and smiled slyly, sharing a knowing look with Hotaru, "I wouldn't mind it if he got hurt a little bit, especially after what he did to you and Kaoru, but I'm glad none of you are dead. That would've been a problem."

Kaoru merely squeezed my hand and murmured, "I knew being friends with you would be an interesting ride."

I snorted at the understatement and looked over at Natsume who had allowed Ruka to take his seat and was sitting on the table with his homework pushed back. He didn't look so tired anymore, but he was listening quietly to Ruka and Kaoru arguing back and forth. I wasn't listening until there was a break in conversation and I asked, "So how'd you guys find out where we were? How'd you get _into _his place anyway? There were four bouncers at the door and I know you guys didn't get invitations."

"Yeah, I didn't pay much attention to the details," Kaoru grinned. "I was much too distracted by Red Eyes over there." He sent Natsume the patented Nendo Flirty Eyes and I laughed when Natsume scowled darkly.

Four pairs of eyes exchanged looks before Hotaru leaned forward in her seat, looking absolutely ridiculous in her dull coloured scrubs and a stern expression on her face. "We didn't get official invites, no," she agreed. Her expression shifted to one of ill-concealed pride. "My mother is the CEO of Imai Tech. I can do whatever I want with our technology and it would take much more than a rich fool's invitations to get past me. We had personal invites to Akimoto's party before the end of Hyuuga's birthday."

I gaped at her incredulously, both impressed and a little alarmed. "Were you guys just hiding in some corner of Akimoto's house until I got myself in trouble or something?"

"Before this is answered, I feel the need to point out that Imai didn't leave _completely _unscathed from the invitation debacle," Koko piped in with a grin on his face. Ruka frowned at this and Hotaru sent a chilling death glare in Koko's direction. He smiled cheekily at me, "She seduced Hayate Matsudaira into giving her his invitation so that we could make copies."

My jaw dropped and I flashed my eyes over to her. I could even see a grin pulling at Natsume's lips. "You seduced Hayate? I'm not surprised he ended up giving in because he's head over heels in love with you but what did you _say _to him?"

She scowled darkly.

Ruka explained with a grim expression and a sulky tone, "He was picky. He asked for a date."

Hotaru rolled her eyes and sent him a look that meant she thought he was a complete buffoon. "You don't have to be jealous. He's going to buy me ice cream and fawn over me for an hour," she said this with a completely stoic look to her face. "That's it. Aren't you happy you managed to get to Mikan before her brains splattered all over Akimoto's study?"

All five of us winced at that but Hotaru merely brushed the legs of her scrubs off as if we were talking about the weather. "My thoughts exactly." She turned her gaze to me and I could almost feel her concern, "How are you feeling?"

"Better…" I repeated the same response. "I'm curious as to why I haven't peed in a while…and I want to know more about this Keep-Mikan-Safe mission…"

She leaned back and murmured, "They probably put a catheter in you since you've been out for so long." Natsume, Ruka and Koko all squirmed a bit before I realized what exactly a catheter was. Blood rushed to my face and I turned to see a smirk on Hotaru's.

"Okay! Tell me the story, folks," I clapped my hands together…anything to get my mind off the catheter.

Natsume cleared his throat a bit and started swiftly, "Once upon a time, there was a stupid sixteen year old girl by the name of Mikan Sakura—"

"Okay! I don't think Natsume's the right one to tell this story," Koko interrupted quickly. He settled at the end of my bed, eyes bright brown and friendly, "Ruka and I will tell it. We have the most theatre experience and Natsume's a bitter old scrooge who likes to kick babies." He turned to Ruka, who nodded, and Koko made a big show of taking a swig out of the glass of water by my bed before he began.

"Once upon a time, there was a fearless boy by the name of Kokoro Yome (who liked to go by Koko). He was a hit amongst the ladies who couldn't help but fall for his mystery, dashing wit and bold charm—OW!" Natsume's notebook slid down the side of Koko's face. Koko scowled. "Well _fine_. If you want a boring bedtime story, then I'll tell the real version…Once upon a time, there was a fearless boy by the name of Kokoro Yome."

I laughed and grinned when Ruka joined in. Koko merely continued his theatrics. "He's a swell kind of guy and doesn't like to get into trouble," Hotaru snorted here, "As he continues watching TV on the couch in his apartment, minding his own business, his inferior roommate, Natsume Hyuuga, storms into the apartment and slams the door, muttering something about the beautiful green-eyed princess, Sumire Shouda. Koko remembers it's his roommate's birthday so like any good friend, he asks him how his day is and if he's ready for an extravagant party. But his cheer is all for naught because his red-eyed roommate snarls—"

"—Mikan's mad at me. Fuck," Natsume murmured softly, red eyes moved slowly to meet mine.

Emboldened, Koko sat up. "But Mikan Sakura, Koko's best girl friend," he winked, "—and Natsume _always _fight and argue so Koko doesn't pay much attention to this until he remembers Mikan had earlier decided to go to Akimoto Hitoshi's house party held in two days. You see, Akimoto isn't Koko's favourite person. He's hurt a lot of people he cares a lot about, so Koko sits up and forgets the TV and asks Natsume what he did wrong and Natsume replies—"

Koko paused expectantly.

"—why do you think _I'm _the one that's in the wrong?" Natsume continued in his subdued voice, rolling his eyes at my giggle.

Koko was encouraging. "But everyone knows the guy is always wrong, or at least, that's what Koko's father has told him countless times when Mama Yome was angry so Koko shares his knowledge with his roommate to which he replies moodily—"

"She found out about that stupid article," Natsume paused for a moment, eyes distant as he looked through his memory. "I told her I wasn't going to deal with her stubbornness and to grow up…and then she gave me a fucking birthday present." I smiled at this.

"Koko immediately knows his roommate isn't going to score any points from Mikan, but before Koko can impart any of his knowledge about women, Imai walks into their apartment like she owns the place with her boyfriend—and Koko's sidekick in this thrilling story—Ruka Nogi. Normally Ruka would announce beforehand if his girlfriend is coming over, because Natsume likes to hide when his cousin comes and Koko likes to make himself scarce, so Koko tries to ask him through telepathy why this is so, but before the waves are transmitted, he is interrupted _yet again_ when Ruka says—"

Koko looked at him expectantly and Ruka did a double take. "I…I don't remember?"

Koko rolled his eyes. "…When Ruka says, 'I can't believe you agreed to go on a date with him! He called you _Cool Blue Sky _twice in the span of a minute!' At this, Koko and Natsume both turn to look at the couple, but instead of warranting her boyfriend's accusation with an answer, Imai stops in front of Natsume and brandishes the golden invitation. Operation P.I.S.S. is hatched shortly after."

"Operation P.I.S.S.?" I broke in quickly, feeling the beginnings of a migraine tearing at my brain.

Koko looked expectantly at Natsume who replied, "Operation Polka Is So Stupid." I squawked with indignation but Natsume rolled his eyes. "I was angry."

"While Imai and Ruka go to make copies of the invitations with their names on it, Koko and Natsume meet up with a co-conspirator previously agreed upon by THNKR (pronounced: _thinker_), Kaoru Nendo, a homosexual student who is close friends with Mikan Sakura and who _nobody _would suspect to be involved in any Hyuuga affairs is contacted."

My jaw dropped and my eyes flashed to Kaoru. He merely shrugged with an impish grin on his face. Koko continued unperturbed, "Koko does most of the talking, because Natsume has as much tact as an angry polar bear, but before they can get into the meat of the matter, Kaoru agrees and says—"

"—with a charming grin, 'I hate that little, homophobic prick. Let's do this shit'." Kaoru winked at me but I was too surprised to say anything more. _Kaoru _was in on it? What the _heck?_

Koko's voice continued, "By the time, Imai and Ruka come back to the apartment, Kaoru has agreed to wear a mini mike on him and to keep an eye on Mikan. Thanks to Koko's connections to Imai Tech, a mike in the shape of an earring and another in the shape of a shirt button are made. Two days pass before the day Operation P.I.S.S. is scheduled to occur and Imai meets up with Kaoru beforehand to give him the shirt and earring he is to wear. By the time night falls, Natsume, Ruka, Hotaru, Koko and Tsubasa—Natsume's brother—sit within a limo filled with Imai Technology. They can hear _everything _and everything is being recorded."

Here, Natsume cleared his throat abruptly, "Including Nendo's corny pick-up lines."

Hotaru snorted distastefully.

Kaoru lifted his chin up in defiance, a large grin on his face.

Koko's expression melted into something thoughtful. "They sit back, anxiously waiting for something to happen, but hours go by and Koko is beginning to twiddle his thumbs and wish he is with the green-eyed princess because he can hear her laughing and he hasn't heard that sound in a while… Imai is whispering romantic nothings into Ruka's ear and the Hyuuga brothers are arguing about something until they hear Mikan's cheerful cry about needing to urinate…"

Blood inched up my cheeks.

Ruka picked up the narrative in his soft voice, "Everybody sits up at this and looks at the laptop and speakers. But instead of hearing Mikan's voice continue, they hear Rui Amane's flirty voice. Natsume Hyuuga is restrained from grabbing one of the invites and barging into the house. Instead they wait for another few minutes before Kaoru mutters an expletive."

Kaoru began solemnly, "He runs into Misaki Harada who had accompanied Mikan to the bathroom and she says—" He paused and looked around the room before he seemed to remember Misaki wasn't here. He grinned unabashedly. "She says she can't find Mikan and the fucking handsome Kaoru just _knows_. With his brain working overtime, Kaoru takes to the stairs and sees Mikan's still form standing at the top. She looks hesitant, and without wanting to cause a scene, Kaoru puts a hand over her mouth."

"The next thing the hero of the story knows is that Akimoto's voice is coming from Kaoru's mike and it doesn't take a genius to find out something bad is going to happen," Koko took over once again. "Imai says they should wait a bit to see if Kaoru can handle the situation or not, but it becomes apparent after Kaoru is cut off mid-sentence and mini-mike number one is no longer in commission, that something bad has happened. This is only solidified when, after a long, riveting dialogue between Mikan and Akimoto, Mikan mentions something about Kaoru being knocked out cold."

Kaoru placed his hand gingerly by his temple and grinned.

"At this point, Imai is firing orders. Members T, N, K and R of THNKR grab the golden invites and are out the doors before Imai says sharply—"

"Hyuuga, if you move a muscle, I will shove a fork down your throat before you can say 'uncle'," Hotaru piped in monotonously. "Both Hyuugas turned around and I—"

"—You're supposed to talk in third person!" Koko and Kaoru squawked.

Hotaru sent them both a glare. "Both Hyuugas turned around and _Hotaru _says, 'if the media found out the Hyuugas were part of this, your Grandmother would have a fucking coronary. If we wanted this to be full blown, the Hyuugas would have blown the story open right when we found out about what happened to Aoi but that's not what we want. So sit down. Yome and Ruka can handle it. They're not part of the Hyuuga clan."

"Tsubasa immediately knows this to be true but Natsume puts up an admirable fight. Before long, Koko charms the pants off of the four bouncers and races up the stairs with his trusty sidekick at his feet. They make it to the second floor landing and begin trying all of the doors and it isn't long until they reach the room in which Mikan and Kaoru are being held captive. It takes the both of them a couple of good attempts but the door is no match for Koko's Kick of Intensity."

He paused in his narration and looked over at Ruka…the room was deathly quiet. This was the part I didn't remember at all. Finally, Koko continued, "It is all a blur for our hero, but he is distinctly aware of a gun and two gunshots before both captives of the host are lying on the ground with blood seeping out of their heads…the hero dives at Akimoto who lies stunned on his back." He swallowed quickly. "Ruka immediately calls the popo as the hero pulls the villain away from both victims and keeps his arm securely behind his back. Akimoto keeps chanting, 'not Mikan, why only Mikan…'"

"While the hero—crap, I mean Koko—keeps the villain at bay, Ruka uses his knowledge of wrapping animal wounds to keep pressure against Mikan's head wound. He may have started to panic and had to talk to Hotaru on the phone but the paramedics arrive and soon Koko and Ruka are being pushed into the back of an ambulance with the two victims… and Akimoto is brought to the hospital in a police cruiser."

We sat in silence for a minute before I asked quietly, "What's going to happen to him?"

Hotaru answered this with an uncertain shrug, "Koko brought the recording to the cops but I'm not certain. When I listened to the copy I made, Akimoto never confesses to drug trafficking. The only thing he could be tried for is attempted murder, but since he tried to take himself too, and if they take the case to a jury, they might acquit him and just send him to some kind of rehab program. They might blame his suicide attempt on depression."

"Depression?" I was baffled. "Well he _did _tell me he wasn't a very happy person."

"His parents died three years ago," Natsume said calmly, from his perch on the table. "He's an only child and lives with his grandfather." He looked up at me, then, and added, "The old man is sick."

"So he's just going to be alone, then?" I asked softly, feeling my head ache. "That's kind of sad, isn't it?"

"Shit, now I feel bad," Kaoru whined, crossing his arms petulantly.

"He's a hazard to society," Natsume's voice was firm. I watched him as his voice transformed into something wary. "His situation is bad, but the things he does and what he's tried to do to you is just fucking messed up…he may not deserve to die or go to jail, but he needs some help. I think we can all agree on that…even him." He looked up to me, then, "Maybe now that this has happened, he'll finally be able to get it."

A quiet fell on us as my head began to throb.

I heard Ruka suddenly say, "Don't try to take credit for my breaking down the door, Koko, you little shit. It should be called Ruka's Kick of Intensity."

"That sounds stupid!"

I laughed, trying to ignore the pain that lanced through my vision but the white flash made me close my eyes with a wince. Two seconds later, I could hear Natsume's voice by my ear saying, "I think you need your painkillers now. No discussion. No arguments."

I grumbled a bit as Natsume pressed the button on the wall to call the nurse and while I waited for my meds to come, Ruka called my name. "I know you worked really hard memorizing your lines for the play," he began, and I just knew what he was going to say and I wasn't sorry in the least. "But Narumi heard about the accident and with the performance in just two weeks, he didn't think you'd be fit enough to play Juliet."

I nodded easily, containing the wince, "I figured. So who's taking my part?"

Koko's expression twisted dramatically before he all but wailed, "Luna Koizumi! What did I do to deserve this injustice? Ohhhh, the _sorrow_!" He collapsed against the covers hiding my feet and clutched at his heart as if it threatened to beat out of his chest. He looked up at me with large brown eyes and murmured with full, solemn theatrics, "You do realize I have to _kiss _the Barbie, don't you?" he whispered quietly. "THREE TIMES! I hate that number. I just hate it! I'd rather kiss _you _than kiss her!"

I couldn't help but feel a little offended. "You make it sound like kissing me would be really bad."

Natsume's cell phone rang and he pressed the call button by my bed once more before he stepped out to take it.

I turned back to Koko. "Mikan, Mikan, Mikan…" Koko shook his head against my leg, flipping onto his back to look sorrowfully at the ceiling. "First, you are like a sister to me…I don't have any sisters but pretending to kiss them romantically is supposed to be disgusting. It's like… wanting to kiss _Imai_." He shuddered here and Ruka punched him in the leg once before he continued. "Second, I really don't want Natsume to kill me… and third, well, there's only one girl I'd _really _want to kiss."

He smiled widely at the thought.

The nurse bustled into the room with a warm smile on her smooth face and made a beeline to my charts before she asked, "How are you feeling, honey?"

"Like someone's trying to cut my brain in half with a butter knife," I winced honestly, causing her to laugh.

"We'll give you some light painkillers for now…we'll ask the doctor if you can have morphine, the strong stuff, later," she said mostly to herself as she pumped something into my IV. "Visiting hours are up, you four. The next time I come into this room, you'd better not be here, all right?"

There was a smatter of polite grumbling from the guys before the nurse smiled and opened up the door. "I'll be back in half an hour," she winked, and then she was out of the room. Before the door closed completely, I could see Natsume's face pale and tighten. He must have felt me somehow, because his eyes flashed to mine and a small grin spread across his lips. He ran a hand through his hair before moving away from view.

I turned back to the group. "So how's school?"

Kaoru shrugged, "You're the talk of the town. A lot of people saw you get wheeled out of the party and they're all saying you're either faking it or that you're brave. The guys mostly think you're cool for surviving a shot to the head." He pouted, then, and said haughtily, "If I'd known you could get so much attention from boys that way, I would have asked Akimoto to hit me with something harder…maybe a brick…or a knife?" He turned to Koko, "Are knives cool among boys or does it _have _to be a gun?"

I thought I heard Hotaru mutter something that sounded like, _are you kidding me?_

She stood up and came over to me before squeezing my shoulder affectionately, "Don't be so stupid ever again, Brainless. Rest up and I'll come by again tomorrow with your English homework."

"We both will," Ruka promised with his blue-eyed smile.

"And I'll bring your History homework!" Koko declared before pulling me into a warm hug.

The four of them filed to the door and I could feel the painkillers start to make me drowsy. I waved sleepily as they left and hoped I could stay conscious long enough for Natsume to finish up with his phone call. Kaoru startled me when he popped his head back through the door. "Text me when you get bored!" he winked and blew me a kiss.

I laughed softly when they all left and briefly wondered where mom had gone…she was here, I remembered. Hadn't she stayed?

"She came for a few hours this morning and early afternoon," Natsume's voice drifted in from the door. I hadn't realized I was mumbling to myself until he let himself quietly back into the room and settled back down on the seat beside my bed. "She'd been here for almost two days straight so I told her I would watch over you so that she could sleep in a proper bed. She was still tired from the plane ride back here."

"Oh…" I murmured, closing my eyes. "Who were you on the phone with?"

I felt a soft kiss on my forehead, like butterfly wings, before Natsume responded quietly, "Tsubasa and Seiji."

"Oh?" I was tired. "What happened? You… had a small V right… here," I pointed at the spot between my eyebrows slowly. "And that… only happens when you're worried."

"You're tired," Natsume sighed, I could feel him lifting me so that I was lying on my side again. The bed lowered into its horizontal position before I felt him push my hair away from my face. "Go to sleep, Polka Dots."

I sighed happily and then yawned. "Don't keep it…inside, Natsume…you're going to go crazy…" I yawned again, my eyes still closed. "Tell me."

Darkness laughed and came to claim me, but not before Natsume whispered, "Grandmother is dying."

* * *

_Did you expect an update so fast? _;) Two more chapters, ah!  
I'm taking requests for scenes in a different POV. Give me your requests now! Whichever is more in demand or I like more, you'll get_. Choose carefully.  
_


	25. Somewhere Only We Know

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The rest of this story, this plot are mine. Songs and _Beauty and the Beast _lines don't belong to me. DISCLAIMED.**  
**

**Dedication: **To my readership. It means a lot you guys. Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter 25: Somewhere Only We Know**

_She's staring at me, I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'._  
_ Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'._  
_ And now it's I'm yelling over her, she's yellin' over me._  
_ All that that means is neither of us is listening._  
_ And what's even worse?_  
_ That we don't even remember why we're fighting._  
Mad - **Ne-Yo**

I was practically bouncing on the seat of the bench.

By the time I was well enough to be discharged from the hospital, I had spent a total of a week and a half there.

They reduced the painkillers I could consume which actually allowed me to be _conscious _for more than an hour and had kept me under observation even after results showed the tetanus shot was doing its job and that the stitches were perfectly in place. I got to see what the back of my head looked like and it actually wasn't so bad…if it didn't remind me so much of Frankenstein.

"It's healing really well, Ms. Sakura," the doctor had said with a genuine smile on his face. "Your wound is healing just right and it looks like you'll make a speedy recovery." The arms he'd clasped behind his back moved into view and he extended a pamphlet to me. "Before you leave, we must discuss the possibilities of a concussion. It's hard to tell if you've got one or not, because of the meds we've got you on, but if at any time you may suspect you have it, please come back. Signs of a concussion are headaches, vomiting, impaired vision or speech…"

I told him I understood and linked my arm through mom's before we left.

I'd walked around the hallways of the hospital and saw the bouquets of flowers that were sent to me. Half of them were from people I'd never met or never _remembered_ meeting before. I got some from Ruka and Hotaru, Koko, Sumire and Kaoru, Misaki and Rui, Anna and Nonoko, Tsubasa and Aoi, and Nobara. I didn't get any from Natsume, but I did get one from Akimoto.

I was surprised by the two dozen yellow roses, but the card was what blew me away.

_I don't know what I was thinking…I guess there were too many things going on in my head at the same time and I wasn't thinking straight.  
I never meant to hurt you and trust me when I say that I am so pleased to hear you are doing fine.  
I suppose I thought hell wouldn't be so bad if you were there with me.  
I was an idiot to think you would go to hell at all. You're a great person, a wonderful girl, and I know it's a little hard to ask right now,  
but someday, I'll come back and hope that you forgive me.  
You gave me a second chance. You saved me.  
I'll always be grateful.  
Tell Hyuuga I say hi. One day we'll play on the same playing field and maybe this time, he won't win.  
Right now, I admit defeat, but I won't be down for long.  
Get well soon,  
_**Hitoshi **

I'd showed Natsume the same afternoon and he'd read it quickly before looking at me thoughtfully. I asked him what he thought, but he merely smirked and shrugged.

Akimoto wasn't going to trial.

The cops had come down on my sixth day, when I was conscious for a change, and asked me my account of what happened. I'd told them the truth and then they had asked me if I wanted to press charges. I said I would think about it and talked to Hotaru, Natsume and mom. Hotaru said she talked to her lawyer and after listening to the tapes, the lawyer had said it was a very easy charge to be acquitted for, especially with Akimoto's history. Apparently he even had a therapist that admitted she believed there was something wrong with him, but his perfect façade was misleading. It would be very easy to grab any student from the school and ask them what they thought of Akimoto which would prove the therapist's account.

It was Natsume who suggested the treatment and program. I didn't know he'd be so agreeable with the circumstances, but he said he never wanted Akimoto to die or go to jail. "Jail doesn't solve anything…doesn't get to the root of the problem," he'd said easily, handing me a pamphlet. "Rehab does." And it probably helped that the rehab center was in Australia.

Mom said she just wanted me to get better and that if I thought Akimoto didn't mean it and wasn't a future threat to me, then she was fine with anything. She agreed with the rehab. "Everybody deserves a second chance to correct their mistakes," she'd said softly, tucking a strand of brown hair behind my ear. "I hope Akimoto won't be the only one to get that opportunity."

The doctor said I should take the next few days off from school, at least two, before I thought about going back. I got a headache just thinking about the amount of homework I had to finish up. Uncle Kazu had assured me he'd talked to my teachers and explained the situation. Noda-sensei said I could finish up all of my assignments and hand them in after Christmas break. Narumi-sensei had merely assigned two journal assignments due after the plays, which I could hand in to him after the break, too. I had no homework for Gym. For math, Jin-Jin hadn't been so accommodating.

"He extended the seven math assignments you missed by two weeks. You'll have to hand them all in before Christmas break," Uncle Kazu had smiled apologetically. Christmas break was in two weeks. I also had the assignments he assigned daily _on top _of the seven I'd missed already. "If you're having any trouble, I don't mind giving you a hand with your homework. I was always the better one with math compared to Izumi." He'd grinned, then, and I told him I would probably have to take him up on that offer.

Mom hadn't been too good with math either.

I scheduled a Saturday afternoon math lesson with him for the weekend after the play and Jin-Jin said he would help me after class. I almost cried at the thought of getting extra help from him.

And Natsume…well I wished I saw him more than I did, which explained why I was bouncing my feet against the ground, waiting in front of my dormitory building for Natsume to come pick me up. We hadn't talked about his Grandmother. He avoided the topic like the plague and always ended up asking me if I was feeling better and if I was hungry.

"You're pale," Natsume had said for the nth time when he had come to visit me at the hospital. I'd rolled my eyes, then, because I'd always been on the pale side, but it wasn't until I looked into the mirror that I realized I was pale enough to look like I was in a constant state of shock.

I fiddled with my cell phone when a group of three boys walked by, looking at me before all waving shyly. I couldn't help the grin that spread on my lips. The way I was being treated right now compared to how I was treated _before _the incident was absolutely unbelievable. I felt like everyone was trying to be my best friend or something, just because I got hit with a bullet. Apparently, this also applied to Luna. The first thing I'd seen when I'd gone back to my on-campus apartment with Sumire was the large bouquet of tulips in front of our door. The card had read:

_I hope you get well soon, Mikan!  
It's a real shame you couldn't be Juliet since you were so good  
but come watch the performance. I can't possibly be as good as you  
but I'll try my best.  
Call me when you're free!  
__**xoxo Luna**_

"She's rubbing it in your face," Sumire was incredulous. "I can't believe the skank is actually getting what she wants. First, she gets Natsume for the whole summer to work through some bull family project. Now, she gets the lead female role to _your _play? The bad guys are supposed to _lose_! So why does Akimoto get off scot-free and why does that freak get to have everything she asks for? UGH!"

Well, real life doesn't always work out the way they do in books, I realized.

I blinked to see Natsume walking toward me with his leather jacket on and his hands tucked into the pockets. I breathed out a long breath before I got to my feet and walked to meet him. His hair was a mess due to the wind. I couldn't help the smile that lit up my face when he stopped in front of me and tugged lightly on the neat braid resting on my shoulder.

"I thought you were you going to cut your hair," his voice was gruff and his eyes dark.

I fiddled with the end of my braid before shrugging. "I like my long hair. I'll probably cut it shorter during Christmas break or something, but right now, I'm just going to wear this," I pointed to the knitted beanie on my head. "I stole the idea from your brother. It hides the bandage wrapped around my head."

He grunted before turning to walk again. His chin was tucked toward his chest to avoid the wind. His hands were, once again, stuffed into his pockets.

_I really wanted to hold his hand. _

I followed slowly, wondering if something was wrong. "I thought you were going to bring your motorcycle to pick me up."

He didn't answer for a long moment before he looked straight up ahead and murmured wryly, "I'm not going to throw you onto a motorcycle when you have a head injury. Stupid."

I rolled my eyes. "It would've been fine. I'm not a cripple."

"I don't want to argue about this with you," he said coolly, without sparing me a look.

I pressed my lips together and could feel the anger rising up within me. _What was his _problem_?_ I exhaled quickly and tried again. "How's the play going? I know you've got a lot of lines to memorize so if you need help, I wouldn't mind helping you—"

"I don't need your help," he said snidely, throwing the door of his building open and walking through without a pause. "Mind your own business, Polka Dots. If you weren't so nosy, God knows we could have avoided the Akimoto business."

I stopped abruptly like I'd just been slapped in the face. "Honestly, what the _hell _is your problem, Natsume? Your mood swings are giving me whiplash that feels _much _worse than getting shot in the back of the head so why don't you just put away the bad attitude and talk to me like an adult. God, I know I made a mistake but I thought we put that behind us. Are you really going to hold that over my head for the rest of our lives? That's juvenile_._"

"My mood swings have nothing on your hero-complex," he hissed darkly, finally turning to face me with fury stretched across his cheeks. "You act so high and mighty with your infallible modesty and your childish dreams. You think you can save everybody. You think people _want _to be saved. You think you're so much better than everyone else because your ideas of right and wrong are the correct ones, but you know nothing, Sakura, so stop pretending. You pretend to be so perfect, so real, but you're fake. Get a grip on reality and drop your perfect façade. You aren't fooling anyone."

I couldn't breathe. "What are you _saying_?" An explosion of warmth filled my mouth. My eyes stung. "You don't even know me so don't try to judge me! I'm _sorry _you think I'm so naïve but—"

…_don't you ever apologize for something you couldn't help._

"Actually, you know what? No, I don't apologize." I snapped, clenching my fists. I could feel my hair crackling with heat. "You can take your foul attitude and your judgmental assumptions and shove them up your ass until you can feel the shit in your throat for all I care. You think I act all high and mighty? Well, I think you have trust issues. I think you're self-involved—"

The fist that wasn't in his pocket was gripped so tight, it was whitening. His voice was low and furious. "I'm not going to go around trusting everybody when everyone in this fucking world is manipulative. That's the inherent nature of man, Polka Dots. Nobody wants you to succeed. They thrive to see your failure. Their jealousy consumes them. You should know that better than anybody else, but you're so used to wearing those rose-coloured glasses that you've become blind. Do you really think Umenomiya's _not _jealous that you got the part of Juliet under her smiles and her congratulations? She's happy you've got it, but she wishes more than anything that she got the part. Do you really think Shouda didn't want to tear your skin apart when all of the guys she liked seemed to like _you _over _her_? Everybody here has an agenda. I may have trust issues but it protects me from being used by everybody that wants a piece of my success."

I couldn't believe him. He was such an arrogant little _wart. _

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why are you so callous about the world? Everything about you is contradicting. You think you make so much sense, but you're just talking circles around yourself."

"That's because you're too stupid to understand any higher level thinking," he tossed back icily.

I shook my head in disbelief. "It doesn't take a genius to know that you're just as fake as you think _I _am. I think you care _so _much about what your family thinks about you, what _everyone _thinks about you, that you'll do anything to please them. You think _I'm _the pretender? I'm not the one that pretends to be such a badass who doesn't give a shit about anything, but everything you do, you do to please your family and it's always so fucking perfect. You know that? _Perfect_. You and your perfect grades, your perfect extracurricular activities, your perfect captain status in every sport you play, and your _perfect_ reputation. So you can't talk to _me _about acting all high and mighty when you—"

"Well it's not my fault you think I'm _perfect_, now is it?" His voice was bland and cutting at the same time.

"You're unbelievable!" I felt my anger rise into my cheeks, into my eyes. "How can we go from being good to bad in one second flat? I care about you a lot, Natsume, but you're going to give me high blood pressure by the time I hit twenty—"

"We were never good."

The air I breathed in got stuck in my throat. I could feel myself shaking. "What do you mean? I thought we would…after Akimoto and everything…"

He didn't blink, didn't flinch the way I did. "Did you think I was going to confess to you or something?" His tone is hard and biting. "Did you think I was going to take you out on extravagant dates and buy you pretty trinkets because you helped out my family in your nosy way? You're a dreamer."

"It was never about that," I hissed lowly. "You know it was never about the money, never about popularity, never about anything but to help. You think everyone's out there to get you, Natsume? Well, I'm not. Koko's not. Ruka's not. You just don't see it. You say I'm blinded by my trust. You're blinded by your hatred." I exhaled shakily and fought the urge to run up to him and punch him in the head to cause him the physical pain he was causing me. "You think I lack hatred, Natsume? Well, fuck you. This you? I hate it. Happy now?"

"Jumping for joy," Natsume muttered sardonically. "Are you done?"

I laughed with a shake of my head. "Yeah," I said bitingly. "Yeah, I'm done."

It wasn't until I walked out of his dorm building that I realized tears were running down my cheeks.

-;-

My mom loved Hotaru.

She said Hotaru reminded her of her best friend in high school with her blunt comments and honesty. Sumire said my mom seemed different…more calm and collected rather than the whacko she'd met when I'd moved in. And she _was_ different…she was still a little random and overly affectionate, but she was more like she was when dad was alive. I thought back about what I'd talked about with dad and opened my heart up to her.

She didn't want to scare me, but I wasn't afraid of meeting Shiki Masachika for the first time.

When I did meet him, he was tall, dark and quiet. He was nothing like dad and I couldn't have been happier. I think I would have hated it if Shiki was just like him. It would feel like mom was only going for somebody because he reminded her of dad. I would feel guilty…it would be like we were replacing him. But daddy was all dirty blonde hair, wide smiles and endless energy and compassion. Shiki was endless grey eyes, smooth composure and dependable.

The first time I met him, he smiled almost shyly before extending a hand. "Hello, Mikan. I've heard a lot about you."

His voice was both soothing and quiet. I thought I might have accepted him even then.

While everyone else was busy preparing for the plays that would take place in just two days, I spent most of my time catching up with homework with the help of Shiki and talking to mom, getting to know her…listening to her tell me about what had happened for the last three and a half months she was gone. I never understood why her and dad thought it was best I didn't know about my uncle, about my grandfather, about our _real _family history…but she'd merely said that dad hadn't planned on going back to his father until he apologized and accepted his wife and daughter. Grandfather never did, so as far as he was concerned, he didn't deserve to get to know me.

I could only accept it after Uncle Kazu drove us to Grandfather's mansion and I met him for the first time. He was callous, cold and unapologetic. He was demeaning, judgemental and arrogant. His words were biting. He wasn't sorry. He didn't like us. He didn't even give us a chance and as far as I was concerned, after two and a half hours of insults and blame, we deserved better.

It was nice to get all of the dark secrets cleared away, to have my mom back and to have everything fall into place like I wished it would.

-;-

_Softly we tremble tonight_  
_ Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight._  
_ I said I'd never leave, you'll never change._  
_ I'm not satisfied with where I am in life_.  
Cat and Mouse - **Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**

"This is going to be _so _funny!" Tsubasa unbuttoned the jacket of his suit and took a seat beside Tono, who was talking up the very attractive girl sitting beside him. "Who would've thought _Natsume _would make the lead role to _Beauty and the Beast_?" He chuckled lowly and murmured something about blackmail.

I still hadn't talked to Natsume for the last two days.

In my head, dad told me I was being stubborn again and asked, _did I really not learn anything when I had a gun pressed to my head?_

But there were just some things I had to stand up against and if Natsume thought he could put me down like I was a piece of trash in his way, then I wouldn't get in his way any longer.

Aoi slapped Tsubasa roughly on the arm and exclaimed, "Don't make fun of him, Tsubasa-nii! He worked really hard for this!"

I tucked the four bouquets of flowers I'd bought in front of my feet, by the stage when I realized only one would fit under my seat.

"Oh, boo hoo. It's just a play," Tsubasa rolled his eyes. He stilled for a second before smiling uncomfortably down at me. "Uhm, I actually didn't mean that. I know you worked really hard to memorize your lines. It sucks that you won't be able to show everyone how hard you've worked."

I shrugged and pulled the beanie I was wearing further down my forehead. "It's all right. At least I don't have to worry about stressing about it tomorrow like Luna and Koko do."

"But you would've looked so beautiful as Juliet!" Aoi was adamant, smoothing out the fabric of her navy blue dress. "Luna's going to be horrible. Her acting isn't very good and she may be pretty but she always has this really nasty permanent sneer on her face that makes everyone hate her."

"She's hot," Tono drawled, leaning forward to see the both of us. "That's the only thing people want to see."

"That's the only thing _you _want to see, Tono-perv," Aoi rolled her eyes.

From behind me, Koko popped up and whispered, "Now _this _is going to be funny. I wonder how bad Natsume's going to make this play…he'd better not put the moves on Permy or else…" he scratched his head, then, and shrugged, "I'll do something. You'd help, wouldn't you, Mikan?"

I stiffened in my seat. The lights went down before I whispered, "Sure. Anything to piss him off."

The amphitheatre was so big, there were three stages. The left one was of the town's bar. The middle and the right one were rooms within the castle. One was the dining room and the other was some kind of hall.

The castle was darkened, so everyone turned to the town's scene.

Aoi giggled before a spotlight hit Permy in a brown wig with a book in her hands. The musical was turned into a play, so Sumire spoke in an easy rhyme. I loved how easy she looked in the simple blue dress and white apron. She even looked innocently oblivious to the whispers from the village people when they spoke about how she always had her nose in a book.

I was reminded of me…I fit easily into Belle's character…always with my nose in a book and a dream about a great love…only to fall in love with a beast.

"I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd?" Sumire asked Mochu, her father. "It's just…I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to."

Before long, Kitsuneme was making me laugh as _Lumiere_ and I got really into it before Natsume came out on the stage on all fours. At this, Tsubasa snorted a laugh which caused Natsume's face to whip in his direction. Under what could only be the costume of some mascot, Natsume asked in his normal, growly voice, after making a show of sniffing around, "There's a stranger here." He ignored the excuses from his trusty servants and bellowed, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Mochu cowered very convincingly and stepped back toward the edge of the stage. "I was lost in the woods and…I'm sorry!"

I could feel Natsume's anger as real and as biting as when he'd shouted at me from the hallway. He advanced slowly, "You are not welcome here."

I flinched away.

He continued in an icy voice. "What are you staring at? So you've come to stare at the beast, have you?" His voice dropped a decibel. "Well _stare _at him. Get your fill. Who needs you people anyway! I don't need any of you."

I thought he must have started adlibbing because Mochu murmured, "Uhm…I just… needed a place to stay."

Tsubasa snickered when Natsume snapped out of it and growled, "You want a place to stay? I'll give you a place to stay!" Then I watched as Natsume picked Mochu up and flung him out of the curtain's view to the horror of the crowd.

Then the stage lights went out before Sumire came back on stage to refuse Gaston's marriage proposal. I didn't pay much attention until Sumire headed to the castle to look for her father, only to be caught by Natsume.

"What are you _doing _here?" Natsume murmured lowly.

"Run Belle!"

The lights were dim. Sumire looked around frantically, "Who's there? Who are you? I've come for my father, please let him out! He's sick! Please, I'll do anything!"

"It's his fault he trespassed. There's nothing you can do; he's my prisoner."

Sumire stepped forward, her voice faltering. "Please, take me instead! Please let him go!"

Natsume didn't move from the shadows. Instead, he said quietly, softly, "You would take his place? …Stay here forever?"

Sumire cleared her throat and raised her chin up. "C-Come into the light so that I can see you."

The light brightened and Natsume stepped into it, displaying all of his faults… all of his ugly beauty. Sumire gasped in surprise before whispering, "You have my word."

Mochu was promptly thrown out of the castle.

Natsume strode back into the room before Sumire whispered, "You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye…"

Natsume turned away before he cleared his throat. "I'll show you to your room." At her surprise, he bellowed, "Would you rather stay in this tower? Then follow me." Natsume really was the Beast. He was both awkward and commanding, faux badass with a conscience. He turned his nice charm on as quickly as his defense mechanism. I felt my heart twist when he said, "You…will join me for dinner. That is not a request!"

While the townspeople plotted the attack on the castle, Natsume tried to pull himself together to charm Sumire. She refused his dinner invitation and crept into the West Wing…the only part of the castle she was forbidden to go to. Mesmerized by the floating red rose encased in glass, Sumire reached out to touch it, only to have Natsume go ape shit.

I didn't pay attention until Sumire was cleaning out Natsume's wound…taming the Beast with soft words and common sense. If only that was so easy…but the difference between Belle and me was the fact that Belle could hold her composure. It seemed like every time I got into an argument with Natsume, we yelled at each other until we were red in the face and then stopped talking for days at a time.

The right stage, which was previously the dancing hall, was replaced with the backdrop of a library and I watched as Natsume led Sumire there by the shoulders. She gasped when she saw it, "I can't believe it," she flounced into the room with amazement, "I've never seen so many books in my life! It's wonderful."

"Then it's yours," Natsume said lowly.

I didn't pay much attention to anything else that happened in the play. I was vaguely aware of Natsume letting Sumire go to take care of her father before the townspeople came to kill him.

"_I let her go. I had to…because I love her."_

Sumire saved Natsume who shed his mascot costume only to come out in a handsome suit and his windswept black hair. I looked away when they kissed. There was a high pitched squeal from the girls in the crowd before the curtain dropped and the amphitheatre burst into applause.

I stood up with the rest of the Hyuugas for the standing ovation but couldn't swallow; my throat was dry. I could feel arms come around me before Koko whispered, "We sure know how to choose them, huh?"

I forced out a laugh before the cast came back on stage and bowed as one. I watched Natsume, lacking the grin and the elation everybody else seemed to have. Before everybody began filing out of the theatre. I grabbed my bouquets, with the help of Aoi, and headed to the school foyer to wait for the cast members to come out.

My heart was thrumming in my chest.

Half an hour passed before Ruka and Hotaru came out together, holding hands. I handed them both bouquets of flowers. "Ruka-pyon, _you _directed that all by yourself? Holy crap! I knew you were good that one time you helped direct ours, but that's just incredible!"

"And what? I didn't do anything?" Hotaru snorted.

I pointed at the bouquet and murmured, "You get a bouquet for being a pretty prop. We all know Ruka did all of the work." I grinned when she slapped me in the arm. Normally she would've taken a slap at my head but due to the circumstances, it probably wasn't the best idea. I laughed and ducked away when Koko came flitting between them to give Sumire a big Koko Hug.

Aoi handed me the other two bouquets I bought and I walked up to Sumire, hugged her and shifted my bouquet beside Koko's. "You were great!" I said honestly. I couldn't stop the grin that lit up my face. "The innocent act suits you. Maybe you should try it for real sometime."

Sumire rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. If I wasn't so glad to have that over and _done _with, I would give you the beating you deserve, Sakura."

"Like you'd risk your manicure," I scoffed, earning a laugh from Ruka who had come up to put a hand on my shoulder. "Seriously you guys, that was great. Who knew I had such talented friends? I sure didn't."

Hotaru snorted before I caught sight of Natsume surrounded by his adoring fans. He was in a bad mood, I could tell easily. His shoulders were hunched and he exuded the deathly aura he always had around him when he was really upset. His hand went up and started tugging on the messy black hair at the nape of his neck and I just knew he wanted to get out of here. I caught Koko's eye before we both marched up to him.

"Hey man, I'm going to kill you for kissing my girlfriend!" Koko hollered, ignoring the squawk of denial from Sumire. Instead, he threw his arm around Natsume's shoulder before punching him lightly in the gut. "So what kind of kisser is she? Any good?"

I rolled my eyes before I fell into step beside them and pushed the bouquet of flowers into his arms. He didn't take them, so I dropped them, knowing he would catch them. His eyes flashed to mine and I could see the annoyance alighted in his eyes. "Why would I want flowers for?" His tone was gruff.

"You wouldn't," I deadpanned, turning away from his expression. "I bought them because I want to annoy you. Besides," I said lightly, "—the great Natsume Hyuuga with a bouquet of blood red roses in his arms? Priceless." I forced a grin before I caught his eyes briefly. "Seriously, Natsume, congratulations. You were convincing. I really thought you were a Beast up there."

Koko snorted a laugh and I stepped away from Natsume's side quickly, leaving enough room for another girl to take my spot.

My heart thudded painfully before I gave a little wave, "Have fun at your cast party!"

"Where are you going?" Natsume's eyes were wide with…_something_. It flickered across his eyes before I could make it out. "You know you guys are invited to the cast party too."

I knew that. Ruka was holding it at his house, after all, but I didn't feel up for it and I couldn't stand the sight of girls surrounding Natsume as if he was the greatest thing they'd ever seen. It was too much. So I shrugged and muttered, "I'm not feeling up to it." I was being honest, at least. "But have fun."

I turned before he could say anything more and kissed Sumire on the cheek before giving them the same explanation. As I left, I caught sight of Seiji by the large double doors of the school. His lips were pursed and he was looking anxiously around the place, searching. I slipped through a side door, wrapped myself firmly in my thin jacket and trudged slowly back to grab a cab to my mom's hotel.

-;-

"I think you would've had a lot of fun with your friends," mom said slowly, handing me the bowl of popcorn and settling down on the couch beside me. "You really seem to get along with them."

I tossed her a knowing look. "I know you always wondered why I never had friends and I can promise you, I'm not as defective as you used to think." I grinned at her to show I was kidding before throwing a piece of popcorn up in the air and trying to catch it in my mouth. It bounced off my nose and fell on the blanket over my knees.

My mom snorted before she did the same, catching it between her teeth like an expert.

I glowered at her. "Show-off."

We watched Johnny Depp get double bitch-slapped before mom said carefully, "So, are you going to tell me what happened between you and that Natsume fellow?"

I didn't even pretend to not know what she was talking about. "Oh, you know. We get into these epic fights and never resolve them. No big deal or anything."

"He cares about you," mom murmured with conviction, turning her body so that she faced me fully. Her hair was a little straighter than it used to be and I guessed her time travelling around the world had lightened her then almost black hair to a dark brown. Her large brown eyes were firm. "You know, he stayed by your hospital bed the whole time I was there. The only reason I agreed to go back to my hotel for the night was because I trusted him. Epic fights or not, you should try to fix them."

"Fixing them would be no problem if his pride wasn't as big as mine," I said sullenly, putting the volume down on the TV and turning to face her. "What about you and dad? Didn't you guys get into fights?"

She scoffed as if I'd just said the biggest understatement ever. "We fought like cats and dogs when we were dating," mom said wistfully. "I was always so sensitive and your dad wasn't the smoothest guy around. He was charming, sure, but he had the tendency to run his mouth and say the stupidest things." I grinned at that, remembering how many times my mom playfully hit him on the head with her books. "But he had his ridiculous motorcycle gang and during one of the periods we weren't talking, he got into an accident. A friend of mine was going out with one of his motorcycle moron friends and she called me in a panic. I realized, then, that there were way too many things in life that were more important than swallowing my pride."

I sighed and plucked at the edges of the frayed pillow. "Dad told me the same thing." I looked up at her small gasp before I smiled apologetically. "When I was being held by Akimoto, I had this little conversation with dad in my head. I know, it sounds totally insane—"

"No," she said softly, "—I've had a couple of those with daddy too."

I swallowed thickly. "He made me realize I shouldn't let anything hold me back. Everything I wished to say to you, to Uncle Kazu, to Natsume…he told me to just say it. I was going to tell Natsume that I…you know…liked him a lot, but he did what dad used to do. He ran his mouth, started saying all of these horrible things to me and you know me, mom…"

"You started saying horrible things back."

I nodded and leaned back against the couch. "I can't forget what he said to me. He's so callous, so hateful. I don't know what changed. I thought he cared about me and I thought I cared about him but people who like each other don't say the things that we do. Maybe I'm a little out of my mind."

"Who knows, Mikan, love makes everybody a little crazy."

-;-

I thought I would see Natsume before the performance of_ Romeo and Juliet_.

We'd planned to sit together before we'd gotten into that heated argument and I thought that was still the case, but the four times I'd called him, he didn't pick up and I stormed to my seat in the front row with Sumire with five minutes to spare. I was vaguely aware of the goings on of the play as I followed Luna's lines to the T, catching every mistake she made with a buzz of annoyance at the back of my mind. Or maybe that was because Natsume was being so childish about what had happened…that might've been it.

I could hear Sumire snickering to my right, but I couldn't see the humour in the play.

Natsume's empty seat to my left made me cold.

Partway through the play, Sumire nudged me in the arm and asked if I was all right. I shushed her and pretended to be engrossed in the play, actually laughing once at Koko's charm, before my thoughts drifted back to Natsume. We were so messed up. Did we have to be so messed? It figured the only boy I had ever felt something for had to be as crazy as I was.

My hands twisted together in annoyance, nervousness. Mom was right. I didn't like fighting with Natsume. There were more important things than holding on to pride and sure, I wouldn't let Natsume get away with saying those things to me, but that didn't mean I had to avoid the subject altogether. I hadn't been the innocent party in any of this either. I'd said things just as horrible as he had.

And since Natsume would rather swallow a ferret before apologizing—

There was an all-encompassing explosion of applause and I jumped to my feet to join in. The cast bowed and as the curtain began to drop, Koko broke away with a wide grin on his face. He jumped down in front of Sumire before grabbing the back of her head and laying a big one on her lips. I whistled at that and the crowd's applause multiplied tenfold. He was still grinning when he pulled away and murmured, "I had to get Luna's germs off me. Thanks, Permy!"

She growled darkly before he slid back onto the stage and ducked under the curtain. I laughed when she muttered about killing him on the way out and _who does he think he is to kiss me like that? _It wasn't until I turned my phone back on and waited for Koko and Kitsu to finish up to give them their flowers that I felt a strong grip on my arm.

I knew it wasn't Natsume when I turned around, but I wasn't planning on catching Hotaru's worried, violet eyes. The smile died on my lips. "What's wrong?"

Hotaru's lips were almost white. "He did it again."

Thoughts flew through my head before I could make sense of it. I sputtered, "I-I'm not following?"

Ruka flew to her side and tugged us into a secluded corner. "Has Natsume called you?" My heart dropped at that and I swallowed the organ before whispering, "No."

Ruka muttered an expletive before he dropped his hand and paced for two seconds. His flustered voice made my heart rate speed up and I couldn't help the rising panic in my veins. He looked at his girlfriend, sharing a deep look before I couldn't stand the suspense any longer. Just as I was about to ask them what the hell was going on, Ruka turned to me and murmured quickly, "Grandmother died yesterday night."

I felt the breath get knocked out of me before Hotaru explained, "Natsume left on his bike last night and hasn't come home. The last time he did this, he'd found out about Aoi getting addicted to drugs and blamed himself for not protecting her. He didn't come back for days. He hasn't been answering anybody's calls."

My phone buzzed and I finished it out of my pocket with clumsy hands only to see that I'd missed several calls from mom, Aoi, Hotaru, Ruka and Tsubasa. I felt so bad for assuming Natsume had stood me up because of that stupid argument that we'd had. I'd forgotten all about Grandmother being sick. I was a terrible person.

"I called his cell four times before the play," I choked, "I didn't know."

"Nobody thought it would happen tomorrow," Ruka said absently, checking his phone and looking around. "Grandmother was a healthy woman. I kind of thought she'd live forever." His eyes looked over my shoulder before he called Koko, waving him over.

The grin on his face dropped before he asked lowly, "What's wrong?"

Ruka told the story once again and Koko's eyes dropped to the floor with a curse. "He never told us where he went the last time," Koko said softly. "We kind of dropped the questioning after he didn't answer the first time. He's not going to kill himself or anything and he's responsible enough to take care of himself…I don't think you guys need to go out looking for him if you don't even know where to start."

"I know," Ruka ran a hand through his blond hair. "But that doesn't make me worry any less. And this is his Grandmother. You know he was her favourite and he loved her more than anything."

"Hey guys! What's with the long face?" Kitsuneme popped in, throwing his arms over Koko and my shoulder. I tried to smile and handed him his flowers. He blushed a bit before kissing me thankfully on the cheek. "So! Are you guys going to the cast party? It'll be a lot of fun!"

Ruka shook his head and I whispered, "I don't think so."

"C'mon! It's Luna's house!" Kitsuneme wheedled with a grin. "You know how extravagant her place is and she's having a bonfire in her backyard! The stars look gorgeous at this time of night!"

"I have to go," Ruka muttered, taking Hotaru by the hand.

I slipped away easily enough after that, giving Koko his flowers on my way out. I was just about to descend the stairs when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Sumire. She walked with me partway down the stairs before she murmured in a quiet voice, "Koko told me. He doesn't think we should try to look for him. He says Natsume has a good head on his shoulders and he'll just get mad if we find him anyway." I said nothing and she continued, "We're going to Luna's party."

I looked at her. "All right, have fun."

"You're not coming with us?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I'll just end up thinking about him and leaving early. But you guys have fun. Tell me how it goes later."

She looked like she wanted to put up a fight, but she sighed and nodded. I turned to leave before she called out my name once more. I turned around and she touched my hand softly. "Tell him I'm sorry when you find him, all right? The stars look really bright tonight."

I was just about to ask her how she knew I could find him, but she'd wiggled her fingers in the air and had gone back into the school.

Then, the thought hit me.

_The stars look really bright tonight._

-;-

_I came across a fallen tree,_  
_ I felt the branches of it looking at me._  
_ Is this the place we used to love?_  
_ Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_

_And if you have a minute why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_ This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?_  
Somewhere Only We Know - **Keane**

The taxi bumped along the dirt road leading up to the Hyuuga household.

After paying for the absolutely ridiculous cab fare, I stepped out of the cab and surveyed the gated mansion. I missed the gate and the security tower situated just inside the gates. I supposed with all of the arguing I'd been doing with Natsume the first time I'd gone to his house, I hadn't been paying much attention. I hadn't exactly thought this completely through, I realized. It was just that one sentence from Sumire that made me realize I had a pretty good idea where I could find Natsume and I'd gone before doing much research.

Swallowing, I walked up to the security booth and watched as the security guard walked up to meet me. "The Hyuugas aren't expecting anybody today and I am not authorized to give any commentary about Ms. Hyuuga's death."

I stepped back in surprise. "Oh…right. I'm actually here to look for Natsume," I said cautiously. The security guard's face didn't change. He didn't look very impressed. I stopped and rubbed my temple, trying to think of a possible way to get onto the Hyuuga property. "Uhm, okay I don't really know how this works. If I call Tsubasa-senpai or Aoi and ask them to give you permission to let me in, will that work?"

The security guard regarded me for a second, with the usual bland and uncommitted expression I would expect of Hotaru or Natsume, and then nodded once.

I breathed out a breath and pulled my cell phone out of my pockets before dialling Tsubasa-senpai's number. He picked up on the fourth ring with a laugh and a loud,_ "Call me in the morning!"_

I blushed and said sharply, "Tsubasa-senpai, wait!"

There was a pause. _"Mikan?"_

"Yes, it's me!" I exhaled in relief. "Listen, I'm in front of your house right now and I need you to give the security guard the go-ahead to let me in."

"_Sure,"_ he said casually. _"What are you planning to do?"_

"I'll let you know later if I manage to get this right," I paced the length of the gate. "Thanks a lot, Tsubasa-senpai! I'll buy you a burger or something later."

He laughed. _"Sweet. Okay, good luck."_

I hung up and waited for two minutes before the gates swung open without a creak and I thanked the security guard with a smile and a wave before I walked to the front of the house. I wrapped my jacket around my body, stopping to wrack my brain for the memory…the memory when Natsume and I lay on our backs, side by side, watching the sky.

_There's this place near my house…the forest was dark and the sky sort of… opened up…that was my favourite spot._

I knew I was going to look for Natsume's spot but the problem was that the whole Hyuuga property was surrounded by forest. How in the world was I supposed to find him? The idea of going through the entirety of the forest around his house made a dark chill go up my spine. I wasn't brave. I hated going into dark places by myself and the possibility of getting _lost _in there was completely possible.

At the back of my mind, I remembered dad saying something about conquering your fears and fighting for the people you care about.

Fuck if I didn't care about Natsume so much…

Strengthening my resolve, I pulled my jacket together tighter and started jogging slowly to the right of the Hyuuga household, almost swallowing my tongue in unease when I stepped into the fringe of the forest. I could immediately feel the cold sweep into my body through my jacket and dress. It was so dark. I looked up, tripping over the windy brush. Shouldn't I be looking for a trail or something? Because if this was Natsume's favourite spot, I was pretty sure there would be a path or something that would be overused.

I started talking to myself to fill the silence. "Oh God, you're going to get lost and end up having to eat your own arm, Mikan…"

I brushed aside overhanging branches, kicked aside small twigs and ducked through bushes. Didn't Natsume say it was only a ten minute walk from his house? I walked further, turned and went deeper in the forest. I even tried calling out his name but the echo of my voice made the shiver at the base of my spine travel all the way up to my eyes.

I didn't know how long I walked, turned, retraced my steps and walked further. The glowing numbers on my cell phone said an hour and a half had already passed and I was pretty certain I hadn't even completed one side of the forest.

The dread in my stomach festered and I started whistling to mask the fear I felt when rustles of leaves and brush sounded all around me. Why did I think this was ever a good idea? "Natsume's worth it," I whispered, ducking under another small branch.

_The sky sort of opened up…_

The darkness of the forest engulfed me further. I looked up to look for this opening Natsume had talked about, but all I could see was the shadows of the trees as tall as buildings. I swallowed before continuing on my way. The next time I checked my phone, I realized I didn't have reception.

The panic in my chest swelled until I found it difficult to breathe.

I stopped abruptly, clutching my cell to my chest and closing my eyes, "Please please please, open up, sky. I need to find Natsume. I don't want to die in a forest at sixteen. At least getting a bullet to the back of my head trying to help out a friend would be a more honourable way of dying but starving in my friend's forest? Please, spare me. Pleas—"

There was another rustle. Close to me.

I stiffened before my eyes popped open and I whipped my head around to locate the noise. The only sound I caught was of the wind along the brush. I exhaled slowly, clutching at my cell phone with one hand and holding onto the area above my heart with the other. I tripped on a branch I didn't see.

It seemed hours had gone by. I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going anymore. I felt like I was walking around in circles. Every tree's shadow looked the same as the one I'd seen ten minutes ago. Soon I was even dodging what looked to be the same overhanging branches and neglected logs.

_If you love me at all, God, please give me a break._

I took a detour, retraced my steps and went further into the forest. It was only twelve steps later that I felt the change in the earth. I held my breath and shone the light on my phone to my feet. There was a path, slightly worn, trampled grass and dirt. I looked up hastily to find the opening among the trees but didn't see it. _Just a little further_, I thought. I picked up speed, shining my light every once and a while to make sure I didn't veer off the path. I tripped a couple more times, too busy looking up at the sky…the trees were slowly parting.

I slowed to a walk with my heart galloping in my chest.

It seemed one minute I was shrouded in foliage and the next I was standing in some sort of grassland, looking out over a creek with a running stream of water that seemed to converge into a pond. I couldn't look for long, because my eyes immediately moved to fix on Natsume's form. I knew it was Natsume. His bike was leaning on its kickstand five meters away from him.

I leaned against the closest tree and watched him.

His jacket was off and his body was hunched in a sitting position. His knees were bent with his arms hanging off of his kneecaps. His head was tucked into his chest. I made a move to creep closer, making enough noise to let him know I was there. He stiffened, then, the muscles of his back were so tense, I could see them outlined faintly through his thin, long sleeved shirt.

"Natsume," I called softly.

He ducked his head lower between his knees. He didn't respond after a moment, but when he did, his voice was low and hoarse. "What are you doing here?"

I stepped closer, leaving two meters between us before I tucked my hands inside my jacket pockets. "I'm a little nosy, you see…so I figured I would bring my high and mighty attitude back to you," I said lightly, my tone teasing, "I thought you of all people would appreciate it."

He didn't respond after a long while, so I kicked at the ground shyly. "My friend is kind of hitting a rough point in his life. I want to be there for him…he's kind of important to me so…"

"This is none of your business," he said coldly, picking his head up to look over the pond. "I don't need you or your help."

I didn't dare move closer. My heart calmed slightly at his words. "I'm not assuming you need any help, mine or anybody else's. God knows you can handle anything on your own…I couldn't help if I wanted to. It's not like I can exactly bring back the dead. I'm not _that _good at saving people."

He scoffed, his back straightened and his tone was haughty. "If you think you're being helpful, you're not."

I looked at the back of his head carefully. "I told you…I'm not here to help you. I can't."

His hands moved slowly to his knees and I could see him digging his fingers into his jeans. "You're so nosy," his voice was low and hard. "You're annoying. Can't you take a fucking hint? Ever?" He didn't expect an answer. Instead he turned his head away and murmured icily, "I don't want you here. I've never wanted you here."

_If you didn't want me here, you wouldn't have told me about this place._

I sighed, shuffling my feet uncertainly. "Natsume, you can run away from everyone else so that you can deal with all of your problems by yourself…but I'm letting you know now that, though I talk a lot, I know how to listen too. You're always listening to me talk about my family…you know about all of my problems with school and our friends…Everybody relies on you to do the listening…the protecting…so let me do that for you." I paused before continuing quickly, "You can't be strong for everybody else all the time when you've got to be strong for yourself too. I'll leave… I will, but call me if you need anything, ok? Anything…junk food, a sleeping bag or—"

"Are you done with the sob story?" Natsume cut me off sharply. "You're going to make me sick."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Defensive Natsume is a cruel jerk, I get it." I knew I should have been patient or nicer to him or something but he could make my blood boil in seconds. "Do you get off on making girls cry or something?"

"Do you get off by filling up your _Good Samaritan _quota for the day?" Natsume said sardonically. I didn't answer and he scoffed after a long second. "Oh, did I hurt your feelings?"

I stepped forward. "No, but if it makes you feel better for thinking I do, then sure." I sat down a meter away from him and waited for him to say something, but he didn't. I looked up at the sky. "You sure have some warped sense of who I am, don't you? Do you think I'm perfect or something?"

"If you came here fishing for compliments, then you're going to be sorely disappointed," Natsume muttered dryly.

We were quiet for a long time. I didn't know what to say to him and it was obvious he didn't want to talk to me. But was it weird that I wasn't quite ready to leave him yet? I hadn't come here to give up on him and walking out on him like this would feel like doing just that. I pressed my lips together and lay down, watching the sky. To think, a month ago, we were sitting just like this with barely a care for the world.

I looked over at Natsume when he took a deep breath. "After the play," Natsume began, voice so soft, I strained to hear him, "—Seiji told me she was holding off for me. I drove home and ran to her room. She had a mask over her face. She didn't want to be hooked up to monitors or anything anymore so we knew it would happen any time now. I didn't think it would happen so soon."

He looked over at the glistening surface of the pond and I held my breath when he continued. "She was there when I was born. I kind of thought she would outlive all of us." He laughed humourlessly and then stopped. The silence dragged on.

"My dad died when I was little…when Aoi was three and I was almost five. She doesn't remember anything…I wondered why until I realized I didn't remember anything when I was three too." He paused slightly, then continued gruffly, "I didn't understand it. I was a quiet kid, but when dad died, I just got so angry over the smallest and stupidest things. I would throw shit around…I always had matches with me and I'd light anything on fire. I'd destroy entire rooms at a time and I could have burned an entire village if I could. I picked fights with other kids and refused to listen to anybody. My mom had to get a tutor for me after I was sent home one too many times."

I swallowed hard and pictured a shy little boy with messy black hair and big red eyes being told his father wasn't coming back. It almost broke my heart.

"Grandma didn't live with us at the time and when she heard about all of the trouble I was getting into, I went to live with her." He looked at me then, a wry look to his face. "She's not exactly as mean as you think she is." He turned back. "Dad was her favourite and she took it as hard as I did. Dad was her kid and I was his. We learned to get through it together. She would tell me all the time…_I was just like my father _and…" Natsume shrugged helplessly, "I thought he was the greatest.

"I lived with her for a bit…she told me stories about dad and she taught me things my tutors couldn't… but I told her I missed my mom and she decided to pack up and move to our house. Grandpa died so she was living all alone. She didn't like my mom all that much before dad died, but she let up a bit. She didn't think anybody was good enough for her son, and she didn't think anybody would be good enough for me either." He looked sideways at me briefly, "That's why she acted the way she did."

I opened my mouth to say something, but the thought disappeared and was replaced by the words I'd just told him, _I know how to listen too. _I clamped my mouth shut.

"While Aoi was being spoiled by mom and Tsubasa was out causing trouble, I was with Grandma," he said softly, wistfully, "She taught me a lot. She told me stories of when she was a kid before she met Grandpa and had all of her kids. She was funny and brave. Her heart was big if you were lucky enough to matter to her. She wasn't perfect and I loved her for it. You know…I get my arrogance from her." My chest warmed when I caught the glimpse of the smile on his face.

"You know that thing you said…about me wanting to please everybody?" Natsume asked, and I could feel the regret warm my face when I nodded. "I don't give a shit about anybody but her. She's the only one I wanted to please. She was like the dad that I needed and she pushed me. I did whatever she asked only because she _asked_. She took me aside one day…told me I would be the one that carried on what dad had. Tsubasa was too flaky, too irresponsible and he wanted nothing to do with the business. He wanted to be a mechanic or a baker or a secret agent, but he hated the thought of doing anything with the business."

He shrugged again. "I told her I would. I always thought I would anyway. I've always been on the same page as her. She knew my boundaries. We were practically the same person." I watched him dig his fingers into his jeans until his knuckles went white in the moonlight. "I only disagreed with her about three things."

I lifted myself up and hugged my knees toward my chest and he continued without being prompted. "The first was ignoring what had happened with Aoi…she cared too much about our reputation. She thought getting therapy for her was enough. I wanted Akimoto to pay for what he had done but she wouldn't hear anything of it."

I felt a surge of heat ignite in my belly at the cruel disregard…but she was already gone and being indignant about the past wasn't going to do anybody any good.

"The second was about you," Natsume said softly, stretching his fingers over his knees. "She didn't know why we made such a big deal about you coming over. She didn't know why I didn't come home as often as I used to. She didn't think you were worth my time. She didn't like you.

"The third was about the plans for this summer. You know about that," his tone was wry, "—she wanted me to work with the Koizumis…get experience. She'd been sick for a long time and she hadn't planned on having dad die before she did. She needed me to learn about the business. I didn't think it would happen so fast. I told her I didn't think it was necessary, but she begged me…I've never been able to tell her 'no'. I wasn't very happy, but she was. I thought that would be enough."

Natsume folded his arms on top of his knees and said slowly, "Yesterday, I went into her room and she was lying there waiting for me. She'd already said her goodbyes to the others in the house so it was just me. She…she told me she was proud of me. She said I was the best grandson she could have ever asked for. She said I looked just like dad. She said she didn't mind you. She said…she said she just wanted me to be happy. She said she loved me and then she was gone."

He fell silent and I scrambled to sit beside him, dashing the tears out of my eyes. Sitting cross legged, I offered him my hand and after a moment, he took it. I swallowed thickly. "Thank you, Natsume."

He nodded and gave my hand a subtle squeeze.

"I—" I cleared my throat and turned to him apologetically. "I always thought she was a crabby old lady. I'm sorry."

Natsume shrugged, "Koko thought so too." He breathed in sharply. "She was special, though. I told her everything."

He was looking thoughtfully over the pond and I fell silent just thinking about what he'd just shared with me. This was huge. Gigantic. He _trusted _me. That was more than anything I could have hoped for by coming here tonight. He'd shared his grandmother with me, his most special person, and I had been so angry with him for something so inconsequential. I felt terrible.

I blinked when his jacket fell onto my lap, but when I looked up at him, he wasn't looking back. "You're shivering," he said in explanation. "You can wear that."

I hadn't realized I was even cold with his hand in mine and when I thought about it, I didn't want to let his hand go long enough to slip the jacket on. He peered over at me and raised an eyebrow before he shook my hand loose and held the jacket open.

I grinned impishly at his eye roll and shoved my arms through. He wrapped it carefully around me and I took the chance to nuzzle into his side. Before I knew it, I was lying curled onto his chest (ignoring how achy it still was) and he was lying with one arm tucked under his head and the other around me. We watched the small pinpricks of light in the sky for a while before I said softly, "I'm sorry about the things I said to you…about your trust and your hatred and your...fakeness."

He shrugged and I felt his chest move under my head. "Don't apologize or else I'll feel like I need to." I snorted and he stretched the arm around my waist to grab my hand. "I like arguing with you. It makes you human."

"I am human."

He didn't respond to me for a while and I took my head off his chest long enough to stare at him with an eyebrow arched. He closed his eyes and I felt my heart rate pick up when his eyelashes brushed his cheekbones. He looked ethereal in the moonlight. He said lowly, "Sometimes you're too good…and I don't think you are."

I felt my breath hitch before I masked it with a smirk. "What do you think I am then, Beast? An angel?" I teased.

He scoffed and turned away. "Don't flatter yourself, Polka Dots. You're not that pretty."

_But I'm a little pretty?_

I couldn't help the little grin that appeared on my face. He turned to look at me, then, and I felt heat inch up my neck and into my cheeks. His eyes were dark and his eyelashes were lowering sensually, tempting. I swallowed my heart and my eyes darted down to his lips.

"How's your head?" he asked lowly.

I blinked and reached up to the back of my head and probed with a faint wince. "It's still a bit tender," I said honestly, looking back down at him curiously. "Nothing too serious though. Why?"

He scowled faintly. "That's too bad."

Then he grabbed the back of my neck and pressed his lips softly to mine.

* * *

_I was told by a reviewer, _Incognito_, that I was plagiarized and I really appreciate you telling me, seriously. The user is inactive now, I think, but I really don't feel like doing the other POVs anymore. Sorry for mentioning it last chapter and bailing on it now. I just want to get this story over and done with once and for all. It's been a stressor and I really just want to put it behind me. No fear, I'm finishing this story. I don't like to think I'm a quitter so_…_you guys can expect the epilogue soon. _Thank you again.


	26. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The rest of this story is mine. I disclaim Hedley's song, the mention of Disney romances and Pride and Prejudice, Pearl Harbor and the Titanic, the Hangover and any of the other songs from the last chapters. I kind of forgot to do that but I'm sure you guys know I'm not nearly creative enough to come up with song lyrics. That would be way too insane.**  
**

**Dedication: **My readership. Thank you for joining me on this ride. It's been a pleasure. :) For the last time, happy reading everyone!

* * *

**Chapter 26: Epilogue**

_Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise._  
_I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes. _  
_Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize _  
_It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie. _  
_And as long as I can feel you holding on _  
_I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong. _

_I'm not perfect, but I keep trying _  
_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start_.  
Perfect - **Hedley**

Natsume Hyuuga might not have been my first kiss, but he was my first boyfriend.

It's been almost four years since I met him for the first time and well, it wasn't easy.

No love story is the same.

Belle doesn't fall for a handsome prince; she falls for a Beast. Rapunzel waits all her life for her prince to come save her from her tower. Snow White was meant to be killed because of her beauty, ended up eating a poisoned apple that made her fall asleep and only managed to wake up when her Prince came to plant a big wet one on her lips. Ariel saves her Prince from drowning, makes a deal with Ursula to give up her voice for legs and has to win the Prince's heart or be Ursula's slave forever. Mulan masquerades as a boy to prevent her aging father from being killed in battle and meets her prince in her boy disguise and charms him with her bravery. There's Romeo and Juliet, Pearl Harbour, Pride and Prejudice, the Titanic—

I can go on forever. Trust me, I've read enough books and watched enough movies.

Some love stories are similar, sure, but none are the same. I think my first love can attest to that.

I kind of thought that once I found the right guy, the happily ever after would come easily. But Natsume wasn't exactly the typical Prince Charming and I wasn't exactly the typical Princess.

He was mistrustful, quiet, arrogant, moody and was more comfortable dishing out an insult than giving a compliment.

I was sarcastic, nosy, annoying, talkative, too hopeful and would always rather the company of books than the obnoxious parties being thrown throughout the rest of the school year. Not to mention I wasn't very smart even though I worked my butt off and couldn't last five hours during exam season without at least one bottle of two litre Coke.

We fought a lot.

One of us always had the tendency to walk away before we could resolve anything and the things we would say would cause a nun to lose consciousness or a mother to a clap her hands over the ears of the closest child. We fought about everything and nothing at all. I could be laughing with him one second and shouting at him in the next. He would say things he didn't mean and I would call him names that didn't make sense. We fought on the phone, over text, face-to-face, through friends… He could barely swallow his pride long enough to apologize and sometimes we just ignored our past fights to let them fester and brew. I would go to bed angry and he would drive off mad, but we always fixed it somehow.

I liked talking through our problems. Natsume liked making out. To be honest, I didn't mind that either.

That first year together was an interesting one.

I didn't spend Natsume's first Christmas without his Grandmother with him because it was the first Christmas without dad. Instead, mom and I went to Uncle Kazu's and we spent all day and dinner with his family, talking about dad and passing presents around. Uncle Kazu had two daughters going into middle school. They didn't hate me which was a relief. But once we'd gotten back to the hotel and mom had gone to bed, Natsume_ drove_ over just before midnight to give me my gift.

It was a mixed CD…almost like the one I'd made for his birthday.

"I stole the idea from you," Natsume had said with a smirk when I'd peeled back the messy wrapping paper. He hadn't written the names of the songs on the back like I had, but my heart had hammered in my chest so loudly, I thought Natsume must be able to hear it. I had looked up to thank him but found another gift in his hands. It was _The Hangover_. I looked up at him curiously. "I thought we could watch it tonight," he'd said without looking at me, almost like he was embarrassed.

I'd grabbed his hand and tugged him up the stairs before he could change his mind. He'd caught a glimpse of the photos of dad we'd hung all over the Christmas tree while I went to grab his gift and when I came back, he'd said softly, "Your dad really does look like the High School Principal. Weird."

I'd stopped by his side and looked at dad's smiling faces with a fond smile of my own. "Yeah…I missed him today." _More than usual._

Natsume had looked at me carefully before he demanded for his Christmas gift. He'd laughed at the DVD I'd bought from the school of the _Beauty and the Beast _performance, scowled at the black T-shirt with the words _BEAST _scrawled on the front and grinned at the collection of the _One Piece _manga Ruka had told me he liked. We'd spent the night watching the movie and laughing before sharing a blanket and falling asleep on the couch.

For my birthday, Natsume had bought me a charm bracelet with four charms: a book, a star in the colour of my birthstone, a tangerine and a soccer ball. I'd asked him why he'd gotten me the last one but he'd merely shrugged and said through a smirk, "When I'm done with you, you'll love it as much as I do." It's been three and a half years and I can tell you I don't like soccer any more than I did when we first started dating. He'd asked me out in March after months of dancing around the topic, with stolen kisses, not-a-date dates by ourselves and endless hangouts with the rest of the gang. Girls were still hung up on his every word and Luna was still on the prowl. She thought we were frenemies. I couldn't stand the idea of the both of them spending the entire summer together, but it had been a sure thing and I couldn't possibly ask him to go against the wishes of his Grandmother…not after what I'd been told about her.

We got through that summer just fine. Oh, we fought a lot. I was always jealous and he was always busy…but he flew down to Japan to see me twice and I flew down there with mom once. He'd call me every night…sometimes just to hear my voice…and we skyped and texted a lot. It was still hard, but the first year flew by.

We were good together.

I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend…okay, maybe one with…no, no, never mind. I couldn't have asked for a better first boyfriend. That's right. We'd made a lot of good memories being together and we'll still have good memories.

But just because he's not my boyfriend anymore doesn't mean Ruka-pyon and Hotaru aren't still together. We're graduated now from Alice Academy. Hotaru, Ruka, Sumire and I went straight from Alice Academy to Alice University. We've just finished our first year and Hotaru and Ruka are as strong as ever. Ruka still gets jealous from time to time and Hotaru is still as insensitive as ever, but they work well together. They're a perfect balance. Ruka knows when to grovel and Hotaru's pride will allow her to accept his apologies. Hayate had been a persistent obstacle for them for two full years until Hayate was sent to China. Ruka still hadn't been too happy because apparently Hayate had vowed to never give up on his _Cool Blue Sky._ But they're still happy and still devoted. Ruka is learning to be a vet to start his own veterinarian practice and Hotaru is taking tech courses and learning the family business from her mother.

Sumire doesn't know what she wants to do. She's taking general arts courses at Alice University hoping to figure out what she's interested in and is trying to get modeling gigs without her mom finding out and Koko has been learning the family business since his last year at Alice Academy. Did I mention they're together now? They got together during our last year at Alice Academy when Koko had made a huge public declaration of his love for her after the Alice Festival in which Sumire had signed up for the Kissing Booth. She'd slapped him and then kissed him. It took two years at the Academy for Sumire to put everything behind her and realize Koko's idiotic wit was actually charming. She even dyed her hair back to the beautiful dark green it used to be after the summer of the same year.

Akimoto got out of rehab eight months after the 'bullet' incident but had to go back again four months later. He wrote to me randomly and I went down to see him in Australia once with mom and Shiki on one of our family vacations. He's out now and he's doing well. Apparently he's planning on giving Natsume a run for his money with the Akimoto family business, but I haven't heard from him in months.

Luna, oh Luna. Sumire can't get enough of the gossip surrounding her. She'd come back after her summer with Natsume in America with her usual haughtiness and scorn, but she didn't exactly try to ruin my life for my last two years in Alice Academy. She still whispered insults under her breath when she walked by and always tried to rub her accomplishments in my face but after the first few times, it just didn't faze me anymore. The last I'd heard of her, while I was at Alice University, she was touring Korea with her mother.

Shiki is like my uncle. He doesn't live with us, but he may as well, since he's always hanging out around the house and cheering mom up. She's writing again. She has four novels in the works but none of them are finished or ready for publishing, but hopefully she hits her stride soon. As for Uncle Kazu, we've picked up a tradition of having dinner together at least twice a month, usually the second and last Sundays of each month.

I don't know much about the others. Tsubasa has been dating Misaki for the last year and a half. I know. I was surprised too. He's never had a girlfriend for longer than three weeks so this is definitely something. Kaoru and Rui went out for a few months, but Kaoru has a bit of an attitude and they've been on and off for a while. I think they're off now…but usually when I find out for certain, they're back on again. Aoi is finishing up her last year at the Academy and has become president of the school's news site. You know…the one that's a school newspaper but on the Internet…

And Natsume's definitely been busy. Ever since he got back from the summer abroad with Luna, he's been getting more serious with Hyuuga Corp. He passed up being on the swim team (which upset _a lot _of people) for the last two years at the Academy but still managed track and soccer while he juggled the time he spent at the main Hyuuga Corp. building in Tokyo. He didn't go to Alice University with us. Instead, like his father, he got hands on experience with expert family friends and tutors to learn exactly what goes on within the company. I didn't see him much the past year. I've been struggling through every class that isn't English related and Natsume's been spending almost all his time working or travelling for work. It's insane.

As for me, after three years at Alice Academy and one year at Alice University, I think I've decided I want to be an editor. It just makes sense. It helps that I've been acing English with flying colours. And I _like _reading. I'm sure you guys have probably figured _that _out after all this time. But I don't know…maybe I could—

"Still moping?"

I look up and accept the iced cappuccino Sumire offers me with a scowl. "I am _not _moping around."

"Sure, _sure,_" Sumire sits down beside me on the park bench and fans herself. All of her thick green hair is pushed up into a ponytail and she pushes the stray bangs that fall in front of her sunglasses with an annoyed arrogance that is typical for her. She turns to look at me, tilting her sunglasses down so that she gives me the full force of her knowing stare. "So you're just…what? Reading another one of your books at the park by yourself even though you've read this a million times? Instead of going to Ruka's for a nice swim? That's just sad. You never would have done that if Natsume wasn't going to be ther—"

"It's not because of Natsume," I begin to say, but she holds her hand up to stop me.

"Seriously, Worm, this is just _pathetic_." I wince but Sumire continues without a pause. "He said all of that shit to you and broke _up _with you and you're just letting him run your life? You're supposed to go to Ruka's with a really cute two-piece swimsuit to celebrate the start of the summer and he's supposed to see how flippin' hot you look and want you back. It's that easy. The more you avoid him, the more he's _won_."

I roll my eyes at her logic. "Do you _not _know Natsume at all? He's had a bunch of beautiful girls for his choosing and he doesn't choose them. Why? Because he doesn't care about that so strolling around in some skimpy bikini isn't going to do anything about it. And for the last time, Permy, _I'm _the one that dumped _him, _ok?"

"Doesn't look that way when you're the one moping around like your favourite book's been burnt and there's no way for you to get any copies," Sumire mutters lowly. "Listen, you're just letting him _win_."

I throw one of my hands up. "This isn't about winning!"

Sumire looks at me in disbelief. "Uhm… yes it is." She leans closer and whispers, "Okay, you didn't hear this from me, but Imai and I were talking and she told me Natsume's… well… he's moved _on._"

My throat hurts as I try to swallow. "I…he's…are you sure?"

Sumire shrugs. "That's what Imai says and she's not the gossiping type, you know. They're family. She knows this shit." She glimpses the look on my face and taps my Iced Cap before continuing, "Look, do you want him back? Because if you do, you'd better do something about it. I know you guys have been on and off for the last three and a half years but this is the first time you guys have _broken up_ and it may be the last straw for Natsume."

I take the straw between my lips and take a deep pull from my drink. I sit back and think for a second. "Well I saw this coming, didn't I?" I say softly. "I mean, Natsume and I aren't good for each other. We're always arguing an—"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

I bite my lip and watch as a little grey haired boy plays catch Frisbee with a black dog at the other end of the park. Finally, I say, "We fight too much and it used to be fine when we could actually get through it but now we're both so busy. He's always at Hyuuga Corp. doing whatever he does there and I was at school for the past eight months so the problems we have always pile up one on top of the other. One of us has to _give _and I feel like I'm bending over backwards trying to make it work and he's not doing anything." Before she can say anything, I push forward, "Besides, I'm starting work as the assistant to the assistant of mom's editor friend so I don't have time to think about being jealous or…or that kind of thing."

"You still love him," Sumire says with conviction, crossing her legs at the ankles. "Everyone can still tell."

She's so insensitive sometimes. I glare at her. "I don't need you to point out the obvious."

Sumire shrugs. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing else matters. As long as you love him enough, you should be able to work this shit out. You guys have been together for almost four years and you know Natsume's not going to be happy with any other girl."

"I thought you said Natsume moved on."

"Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. Maybe he's trying… but no girl could possibly deal with his emo-shit and he can't stand most girls anyway. It won't be long until you guys are back together. You should fight for him. You always do. There's no point on giving up the fight _now._"

I fiddle with my phone and check my messages, but Natsume hasn't texted or called. "You know it's been three weeks since we broke up. He could've found anyone. They'd be lucky to have—"

"But they wouldn't be you," Sumire cuts me off loyally.

I bite my lip. "Maybe you're right…"

"Of course I am," Sumire stands up with a haughty scoff. "C'mon. I'll buy you a late lunch. It's so fucking hot out here. I love summer, but really? Really? Sweating makes me feel so gross."

I laugh and get up from the bench when I hear Sumire's scream. It is a freaking loud scream too. It makes me whip my head up to look at her and then toward whatever she's looking at. I briefly glimpse the humongous dog from earlier and turn fast enough to prevent myself from falling and smashing my head against the park bench. Instead, the dog catches my leg and I tumble onto the grass with a squeak. It licks my face and I laugh, trying to push it off me. "C'mon," I whine.

There's a shadow above me before an adorable voice from above me says, "Hag."

The dog retreats and I sit up and wipe my face off before I recognize Natsume's black dog, Senshi, but before I can express my confusion, the little grey haired boy walks up with his hands tucked into his pockets and his wide teal eyes as bland and bottomless as always. It's Nobara's little brother. His face is still achingly adorable. In his still childish voice, he murmurs laconically, "Senshi, don't go too close to hags. You'll start looking just as ugly."

I start to smile. He looks over to me, grey hair in a messy disarray and eyes as big as quarters. I sit back with my knees bent and regard him curiously. I haven't seen him in a long time. "Hey You, you're walking Natsume's dog?"

The boy shrugs. "Senshi needs exercise and Natsume-senpai doesn't have lots of time."

_Natsume-senpai, ha! _

I snicker and grab Sumire's proffered hand. "Well have fun!" I fish out twenty dollars and bend down to hand it to him. "Buy yourself something cool today, hm? It's really hot outside."

Youichi looks down at the money in his hand before his eyes turn back to mine. "Hag," he says as a dismissal, then turns to leave.

Sumire shakes her head. "What a charming kid," she says dryly. "So cute though."

I nod and pick up my book before I follow Sumire out of the park. That is, of course, until I see Natsume standing by the entrance of the park wearing a black business suit that makes my mouth go dry and he has his hands stuffed into his pockets. I fight the grin from appearing on my face and resist the urge to roll my eyes when Sumire ducks away. Nervous, I walk up to him and clutch my book to my chest.

We both just look at each other for a moment. He looks the same, but older in a really…good looking way. And that suit… I close my eyes to dispel my thoughts before I clear my throat and say carefully, "Is it true?" I open my eyes and swallow. "I…I heard you moved on. That you're over me."

His hand dives into his hair and his eyes stare down into mine, bottomless and piercing. "No, Polka Dots…Not even close." His face is all smooth skin, sharp bones and a strong jaw and when he swallows, I find myself watching his throat move. "I…I wanted to—" He snaps his mouth shut before he exhales in frustration. "Can't we just make out and pretend this never happened?"

The laugh tumbles out from between my lips before I can stop it. "You're unbelievable. Natsume, if we just make out, we're never going to solve our problems. Can't we just talk?"

"You don't have to talk," he says slowly and I blink at him in confusion. He waits two beats. "I was listening."

I can feel my eyes widen and the heat rush into my cheeks. "You were _eavesdropping_?" I open and close my mouth twice before I narrow my eyes. "Did you and Sumire conspire against me? What the hell?"

His eyes dim and he's instantly defensive. "You broke up with me, Polka Dots. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know it was getting so bad." He scowls and looks down briefly. His ears are turning kind of pink. "Look, I…I'll try, ok? Even though talking about…_feelings _always makes me really fucking uncomfortable, I'll try." I can feel myself softening. It isn't until he says quietly, "I really…I really like you too," that I feel my resolve weakening.

With Sumire's advice running rampant in my head, I reach out and grab his hand with an incredulous shake to my head. "I can't believe we've been going out for three and a half years and you still can't say you love me."

He squeezes my hand once before he says, almost defensively, "I've said it to you. Twice."

_Being with him is so easy sometimes._

"You can count the number of times you've said it on one hand. Congratulations," I tease him, bringing our palms up and kissing the back of his hand. "What is that? Once every two years?"

I can see the back of his neck redden before he sends me a half-hearted scowl. But then he turns fully toward me, his eyes soft. He's careful when he leans in to kiss me softly on the lips. "Don't give up on me again," he whispers with his lips leaving butterfly wing impressions on mine and I think, briefly, that we've made it this far…three years, four months and counting and that Natsume may still be worth it.

So I kiss him on the lips once and then kiss him on the chest over his heart and say quietly, "All right."

Because Natsume Hyuuga may not be my first kiss, but he is my first boyfriend and hopefully he'll be my last.

La fin.

* * *

**Author's Note**:

I am aware the tenses in this chapter range from past to present. Present tense is for the current day's events. Past tense refers to past events, ie. the retelling. Confusion may result.

_Nobody _in this story is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes, lets their temper get the best of them, and says things they don't mean. Everybody is wrong sometimes, everybody has acted before they have thought of the consequences, and not everybody is lucky enough to be in a relationship that is perfect and easy and drama-free. With that said, this is the end.

_I can't thank you guys enough. It's taken just over three years to finish off this bad boy and despite having problems updating regularly, we've finished this together and I couldn't ask for a better readership. Your reviews, your alerts and your favourites have all pushed me to cross the finish line and I'm very thankful for the support. Finishing this story is both a blessing and a curse. I feel elated that it's done, but a bit sad that this is actually it: the finish line. Thank you for spending the long hours reading this story, giving it a chance and indulging me with your words._

_My Hopeless Romantic, over and out._


	27. Chapter 21 Ruka's POV

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The plot is mine.  
**  
Note: **This is an outtake from chapter 21 from Ruka's point of view when Natsume and co. blame Mikan for their plans going to shit. For **Alexxis T. Swan** because she asked for something from Ruka's POV. Happy reading everyone!

* * *

_Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you  
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you. _

_"Hate Me" - **Blue October  
**_

**Chapter 21 Outtake: Hate Me  
**

-;-

"He likes her."

It was the first time Natsume spoke and judging by the look on his face, Mikan wasn't going to like what he had planned. I knew something was wrong the moment Natsume settled on to his piano bench and started running his fingers against the ivory keys without actually playing. His grandmother taught him how to play and he went to the piano whenever there was something bothering him.

Ever since Mikan got involved in his affairs, Natsume kept getting moodier and moodier, opting to flee to the piano or on his motorcycle for midnight drives. With his insomnia, it was probably even worse. Sometimes I wondered how he functioned on two and three hours of sleep at a time.

And judging from how fidgety his hands were and how he refused to take his eyes away from the windows to look at the rest of us, I knew Natsume well enough to know he was feeling like a martyr again. He always felt like a martyr… like he was the only one to blame for everything, like he was the one responsible for making things right and for protecting everybody else.

I understood Natsume, but he had to get _over _it sometime soon.

He couldn't possibly be responsible for everything.

Hotaru shifted beside me until her thigh brushed up against mine and I immediately turned to look at her. She was at the end of her rope, just as worried about Mikan as Natsume. Her hand gripped mine tightly and I brushed the top of her hand with my thumb to calm her. "It's because she's affiliated with the Hyuuga family," Hotaru grumbled with a sharp edge to her voice. "But pray tell, Hyuuga. What have you seen?"

The tension in Natsume's shoulders never left him, despite the sigh he released, and he half-turned in his seat to regard my girlfriend flatly. "I was late picking her up today at her rehearsal—" That, in itself, was littered with a bitter edge of guilt. "—but when I arrived, I overheard him." His lips twisted slightly, almost in a scowl, before he schooled his features once more. If I didn't know him better, I wouldn't have caught it fast enough, but Natsume couldn't hide much from me. I'd known him for far too long. "He likes her," Natsume bit out lowly. "I have no doubt."

I could feel Hotaru's anger reach its peak when she clenched my hand harder and turned to Mikan who looked like a child with a guilty look on her face, caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Why didn't you tell us this in the beginning, Stupid?" The strain in her voice gave her away and I brushed my thumb across her knuckles again to calm her. She was too high-strung, though, and ran a hand through her hair, agitated. "Well, this just makes it even more complicated, doesn't it?" she snapped with a hint of condescension in her voice. "If Akimoto _likes _her, then he's not going to put her through the drug scene. If anything, that makes our case even worse. How are we supposed to catch him in the act when he's always going to be _watching _his act?"

I turned to look at Hotaru and took in the light shade of pink on her cheeks that gave away her frustration. She was too worried, too anxious. She needed to calm down. She worked too hard as it was and the last thing she needed was to bring her blood pressure up. It was already too high for a normal teenager. Then again, Hotaru wasn't normal in the least. "Hotaru, take a deep breath," I whispered quietly, fighting the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear. The last time I did that in front of other people, she refused to talk to me for four days. She said it was embarrassing. I'd just have to save that for later.

She turned to me, violet eyes dark with anger. "You're already overworking yourself. We'll work this out together, all right?" I squeezed her hand. "Stay with me, Hotaru. Trust me." She looked like she wanted to argue or slap me, but she looked down quickly with a scowl on her lips and sighed. "Mikan can't help if somebody likes her. She didn't ask for this, remember?" I tried to make her see reason.

She pressed her pink lips together angrily before she leaned against me and closed her eyes. I could tell she still wasn't happy. I could tell I was going to get an earful when I drove her home for the night, but her breathing was slowing and that was enough.

I breathed her in and felt my heart calm at Hotaru's sweet scent.

Then I heard Natsume play his 'bad guy' cards. "I knew getting her in this would make things more complicated."

Hotaru stiffened and I saw her eyes open calmly before I turned to Natsume who was looking at me with a cool look to his eyes. He turned to Mikan briefly, and his expression didn't change, but the way he proceeded to look at Koko and Hotaru made a flash of alarm go through me.

I wondered what Aoi thought about all of this.

Mikan began her protests, but all I could see was the look in Natsume's eyes, asking us to follow his lead. I knew what he was doing. Who wouldn't? It was obvious he cared about her more than anybody else apart from his family and his best friends. He tried to hide it, but he was never the actor. He cared about Mikan… he wanted to protect her, even at the risk of being the bad guy.

I understood, but was this really the best solution?

"—Because I really just _asked _for all of this, right?" Mikan said angrily, the hurt in her voice was enough to make something inside of me wince. She was practically shaking with indignation when she turned big, wounded brown eyes on the rest of us. I wondered how Natsume could be so cold when she was looking at him with those _eyes _of hers. "Do you really think I'm _trying _to slow down all of your plans? I'm not! I'm trying to help!"

Hotaru tightened her grip on my hand.

"But you're not," Hotaru spoke up flatly, following Natsume's lead. "If anything, you're making things even worse. We had a _plan _before. Now it's going right down the drain," her voice shook and I could see the blood from Mikan's face draining to make her pale skin look even paler. "All of those months of work, gone. Thanks for that, Mikan." Hotaru turned away and my jaw threatened to drop with my stomach when I caught the tears in her eyes.

I moved to wipe them away but she turned to glare at me before she raised her eyes to the ceiling and took a deep breath. "Are you all right?" I asked lowly, moving to rub her back.

"Shut up," she responded lowly, lowering her gaze for me to see that the tears were gone. I felt my heart calm in my chest, despite her words. She turned away when I smiled at her. "I'm fine."

I was vaguely aware of Koko mumbling something about a 'drawing board' before Mikan jumped to her feet with tears pricking the corner of her eyes. She was looking at Natsume with an unforgiving expression on her face and I wondered how he could look at her with such a cold, indifferent expression on his face.

_This is the girl you like, Natsume_.

Of course it was moments like these when he could actually pass as an actor and it was obvious Mikan was eating it up. She looked betrayed, so wounded. I couldn't look at her for long before I could hear her striding toward the door. "Thanks a lot guys," her voice was soft and sad. I winced and Hotaru stiffened from beside me.

She tightened her grip on my hand.

"Let me drive you," Natsume spoke up lowly, already getting to his feet.

"You can just forget _that_," Mikan hissed sharply, her voice choked with emotion. I watched the exchange. Mikan was visibly shaking and Natsume had both of his hands clenched at his sides. She laughed bitterly, clenching and unclenching her hands. "Perhaps I'll call _Akimoto _to come pick me up," she snapped sarcastically, eyes glaring. "That sounds like something I would do, right?" She breathed in sharply before her eyes slid from Natsume's to Koko's. "And you might want to watch out for Akimoto, Koko. While you were away today, Akimoto was named your understudy. Or maybe you should watch out for me," she laughed bitterly. "Because apparently I'd _want _him to play Romeo, right?"

Without another word, she turned, wrenched the door open and left with a soft, final click that resounded around the room.

Hotaru seemed to wilt into the couch beside me and the room was plunged into silence for a long moment.

"Natsume-nii," Aoi said quietly, getting to her feet. "I'm going to go find a ride for Mikan-sama."

Natsume was still standing in the same spot until he seemed to come back to himself, looked away from the door and sat slowly onto the piano bench once more. Aoi let herself quickly out of the door. His hands immediately went to the piano and I thought he would play but he brushed his fingers against the ivory keys with a dark concentration that I could only remember seeing on rare occasions.

"Wasn't that a little harsh?" Shouda spoke up with an edge to her voice. "You're acting like she asked for the bastard's attention."

Nobody responded and it was obvious Shouda didn't like being ignored. She stood up from her seat and began pacing the room. I tried to think of something to say, but there wasn't much that could be said. Shouda didn't know what was going on with the family. She knew the bare minimum and it was obvious Natsume didn't want to tell her anymore. He was opposed to anybody from outside the Hyuuga family knowing about family affairs and what with Mikan…

Just looking at him, it was obvious he was fighting the urge to punch the wall or set something on fire.

"I feel really bad," Koko sighed, slumping over until his elbows were on his knees. His eyes turned to Natsume and his voice turned into a whine. "I don't know how you do it, Natsume. Being the bad guy sucks."

I rolled my eyes and inhaled quickly. "It's getting late," I looked over at Koko pointedly. "I'm sure Shouda-san is tired. Koko, perhaps you should take her home."

"I'm not tired," Shouda responded easily, resting her hands on the back of the couch with a scowl. "After _that_? I doubt I'm going to get _any _sleep with Mikan's voice repeating itself in my head. We shouldn't have done that." I almost laughed because she didn't have much to do with what happened. Nor did I, though I suppose our silence said a lot. "I thought you liked her!" she turned to Natsume with a sneer. "Is that really how you treat the girl you like?"

Natsume's hands slid from the piano keys to grip the edge of the piano bench.

"Let's go, Permy," Koko rose cheerfully, gripping her hand and pulling her around the couch. "It's getting late and _I'm _tired. Wanna grab a burger on the way back to school?"

Shouda sounded offended as he pulled her to the door. "That's _it_?" she squawked incredulously. "Let go of my hand, Koko!"

Koko laughed but the worry and guilt still sounded from underneath it all. He turned back and waved. "See you later, guys," he chirped, tugging the reluctant girl after her. His eyes found mine and he sent me a knowing look. "Shoot me a text if something happens, Ruka."

The door clicked shut once again before an explosion of discordant notes filled the air.

Hotaru and I both jumped before a haunting piece travelled the length of the room. It didn't take a full look at his face for me to see the cold look his eyes and mouth had adopted. It was just his profile, but his eyes were staring unseeingly at the white and black keys and his jaw was so tense, I was worried he would grind his teeth into dust.

His fingers were flying and the song was making a feeling of dread settle at the pit of my stomach.

He was so angry.

I couldn't look at him and turned to Hotaru instead. Her eyes were vacant until I turned in my seat to take both of her hands in mine. "Are you okay?"

I watched as she turned velvet eyes onto me. Her lips twisted. "Stop asking me stupid questions, Ruka." She turned her eyes back to Natsume and her expression calmed to something flat and indistinct. "It was necessary. I don't regret it. Hyuuga knows what he's doing."

"Because you both always feel the need to be the bad guy when you don't have to be," I met her gaze with an unrelenting one of my own. "I get that you want to protect her but making her hate you is a bit much. What are we going to do after that?" I looked at Natsume whose playing was still filling the room with something sullen. "Are we going to have her followed? Are we going to go the hard route and do everything behind her back? She's safer when she's with us."

"She'll be safer when Akimoto's no longer deemed her as his new plaything," Hotaru bit out sharply, turning her piercing eyes on mine. "Stop fighting me on this, Ruka."

I swallowed.

She was beautiful when she was angry.

"I'm not trying to fight you. I'm trying to give you a different perspective on this," I said, watching as her jaw clenched in frustration. "We see Mikan everywhere. She has a class with each of us. We have lunches and dinners together. We should have just talked about this like adults."

"She's a distraction," Hotaru responded coolly. "We'll be able to get more done without having her stick her neck in situations that don't call for her assistance. You know her, Ruka. It's obvious she's the type of person to jump into a situation with her heart rather than using her brain. She's going to get herself killed if we make any plans to take down Akimoto."

Abruptly, the music stopped and Natsume's dark eyes were on the both of us. His breathing was harsh until he turned away to eye the windows once more. His jaw worked as he calmed his breathing. "Every time I close my eyes," he started lowly, fists clenched on his knees, "I see her doing something stupid like walking into _his _drug den with a recorder in her boot or something equally obvious. She tries to incriminate him on her own, pretends to be interested in his drugs only for _him _to see right through her." I could feel my heart beating as similar images rushed through my mind. His voice was haunted. "He straps her down, finds the recorder and destroys it right in front of her. She's terrified but she keeps goading him anyway, running her mouth about going to the authorities and spilling his secrets." His voice was low and his eyes were vacant and I turned when Hotaru grabbed my hand once more. "He laughs and shoots enough shit into her veins to cause her to overdose and pays enough people to vouch for her drug habits and to say they aren't surprised she overdosed and died."

He breathed out sharply and turned until his hands were on the piano keys once more, not playing. "_I'm _the one that finds her with her eyes blank and her mouth filled with foam," his voice was rough. "She's cold to the touch."

"That's not going to happen," I told him firmly. "We watch each other's back. We're stronger when we're all together."

"Koizumi and he both have resources of their own," Natsume snapped sullenly.

"As well as the resources of their little fans," Hotaru added lowly. "Mikan deflected the rumours well enough, but she's still new. Koizumi still holds plenty of influence here. A lot of people won't be fooled by Koizumi and Akimoto, but teenagers are stupid… we have enough experience at Alice Academy to know that status and popularity will lead a person to abandon their morals."

"Especially the quiet ones," I agreed. Natsume and I had been around Alice Academy far longer than Hotaru. She was a transfer, but she knew too many people here to get the same treatment as Shouda and Mikan. She did her research, she knew the people. Though Koizumi and Akimoto were very much ready and willing to bribe and blackmail, we weren't like that. But that didn't mean we didn't stand a chance. "Koko's family is the wealthiest in Asia. Yours is amongst the most influential and you know mom… she knows all of the best actors in Asia. We have resources of our own. We could have far more resources than they do. I think we're worrying about this far more than we need to."

Natsume's eyes snapped to mine. Red eyes were cold. "I didn't worry _enough _when this happened to Aoi. I don't pretend to want to save the fucking world but he did that to my _sister_. You saw how she was! She missed an entire semester and a half to go away for treatment. Everybody pretended she didn't exist and while I should've been the one to go with her, I had to pretend to be the perfect Hyuuga son while my sister handled her rehab by herself!" He was clutching the piano bench so hard, his knuckles were turning white. "She's still not the same. She pretends to be, but she isn't. It's been a year and I still don't think she's ready for school and yet the only thing the family can think of doing is throwing her back into this type of society before she's ready, just to keep up appearances. It's disgusting," he spat darkly.

"What happened to Aoi won't happen to Mikan," I reassured him. "It can't. Mikan's heard about all of this. I'd like to think she's smart enough to know to keep away from people and places that might put her in a bad situation."

"You don't live with her, Ruka," Hotaru said from beside me. "She likes to think of herself as the hero. Her brain is easy to understand. She'll try her hardest to fix this all herself and we just have to make sure we fix this before she does something stupid, like put her life on the line."

"I just don't think Akimoto's stupid enough to mess with us again," I said honestly, looking from one to the other. "He must know we'd string him up by the balls if he did."

Natsume twisted around in his seat and sighed, rubbing his temple with two fingers. "He doesn't _care _anymore, don't you get it? He's the most dangerous person of them all. He wreaks havoc without any fears about prosecution or death. He has nothing to _lose _anymore."

"His parents are gone," Hotaru mused thoughtfully, "But I don't know if he has _nothing _to lose anymore."

"We used to be friends," Natsume said dryly. "Before his parents died, he was fine. After they died, he hated me because I still had mom, I still had friends, still had Aoi and Tsubasa. He doesn't have anyone. He just doesn't care. He made that clear when he started going after my sister. This is all some kind of game for him."

Hotaru shifted in her seat.

I could feel a headache pulsing in my temples before I looked back at Natsume. "If he doesn't care, then why is he still—"

"He wants to take as many people down as he can," Natsume interrupted sharply, "That's why he hasn't just killed himself already. That and I have a feeling he wants me to go through hell and back." He stood up quickly and began pacing. "We fix this and we fix it quick. I'll… I'll get Kitsuneme, Nendo and Shouda to look after her. That should be enough for now."

"We're just going to ignore her?" I asked him incredulously. "You're going to go crazy worrying about her, Natsume."

"Like that's not how I feel on a daily basis," Natsume snapped thickly, glaring in our direction. I raised an eyebrow and he turned his gaze away without apologizing, though I knew him well enough to know he didn't mean it. "I can't concentrate when she's sticking her neck where it doesn't belong. She's got other things to worry about, like her mother being gone and her father just died… she shouldn't have to deal with our shit."

"She's a willing participant," I pointed out.

"Too willing," he grumbled under his breath.

"Well if we want this done fast, then we're going to have to figure out how the hell we're going to get Akimoto to show his true colours without looking like we have anything to do with it," Hotaru said easily. "The last thing Grandmother wants is to have our dirty laundry aired to the rest of the world. If truth comes out that Aoi almost died because of her drug habits, she'll have a heart attack."

Natsume stopped and leaned against the piano. "I've got a plan. Tono gave me the idea—"

"You mean Tsubasa's best friend?" Hotaru asked disbelievingly. "You got a plan from _him_?"

"It happened during one of his dates," Natsume said dryly. "But yes, I got it from him. It could work. Tsubasa and I have talked about it and—"

"Maybe Koko should be here for this," I murmured, grabbing my phone from my back pocket and dialing his number. I looked back at Natsume whose eyebrows were pulled together in thought. I listened to the ringing carefully. "You really think this plan is going to work, Natsume?"

He looked up, then, with his red eyes swimming with uncertainty. "I don't know. It could. I just want this entire thing to end already. Maybe then, I could…"

He didn't continue, but there were many ways to end off his sentence. But judging from the look in his eyes, Natsume was still thinking about Mikan and the way she looked when she left.

* * *

_I had this almost done before I decided not to do outtakes but apparently I don't keep my word when it comes to what I'm going to post and what I keep to myself. I'm planning on doing only three more outtakes just to make this an even thirty chapters so request scenes you want to see from somebody else's POV and I'll choose the ones I like best, or the ones that more people want. _(:_  
_


	28. Hotaru's Birthday Bash

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The plot is mine.  
**  
Note: **This is an outtake between chapter 20 and chapter 21 from Natsume's POV. It basically dictates what happened before and during Hotaru's birthday party, the huge one her parents throw every year. Happy reading everyone :) Please enjoy!

**Dedication: **I have a lot of dedications for this one.

For **Hotaru**. Her birthday is today, so I thought finishing this chapter was apt.  
For **Maria** because her birthday is today too. Happy birthday!  
For **IAmTheBattleMaiden** and **Blue Aidelle** for requesting this scene. Thank you for the suggestion and always leaving a thoughtful review!  
Finally, thank you to everyone who favorited _The Bookworm and the Beast. _I reached one thousand favourites for this story two weeks ago and it was magnificent :)!

* * *

_And we're just trying to find some meaning  
In the things that we believe in  
__But we've got some ways to go._

_Of all of the things that she's ever said_  
_She goes and says something that just knocks me dead_.

_You won't find faith or hope down a telescope.  
You won't find heart and soul in the stars.  
You can break everything down to chemicals  
But you can't explain a love like ours. _

_"Science and Faith" - **The Script  
**_

**Chapter 20½: Hotaru's Birthday Bash**

-;-

"We don't have to go."

I watched as she turned to raise derisive, curious brown eyes on me. I instantly clenched my jaw to stop myself from saying anything else while she straightened with one hand still on her closet door and the other dangling by her side.

"You realize this is Hotaru's birthday party, right? Your _cousin's _birthday party?" she reiterated dryly when I didn't respond. She put one hand on her hip and laughed slightly. "Natsume, you have to go."

The stubborn lilt was unavoidable. "I don't have to do anything."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You're immovable and badass. I get it." I twitched with more amusement than annoyance and moved to counter when her pale pink lips stretched into a hopeful smile.

I clenched my jaw again.

_Stop rising to her bait, Natsume. _

It was difficult.

Why was it so easy to get caught up in her? Every taunt she shot in my direction made me want to counter with a witty rejoinder. Every animated change in expression made my lips itch at her childish enthusiasm, one she probably didn't know she had. Every blush of annoyance, embarrassment or exertion made that warmth of affection grow in my chest. Every hopeful smile and every shy, downcast expression I caught while she wasn't hiding made me hyper aware of my every word and every move.

_You can't like her. _

I had so much shit to deal with already, it wasn't fair to have to put her through any of it. She seemed willing, of course. Once the doubts I had were cleared, I could see it with every stubborn denial she tried to slip into her speech. She liked me. It helped that she said so and that kiss…

"_It's not like I __want __to like you."_

She'd taken the words right out of my mouth and despite the words I'd used in response to her declaration, I'd been pleased. No, I was beyond fucking happy. It shouldn't have been a big deal. It wasn't the first time a girl confessed she liked me and it certainly wouldn't be the last. But when it was her, it was just… different. This stubborn, childish, proud, disgustingly unsubtle girl shouldn't have been able to be different from all of those other girls but her pride and strength, those brown eyes—

"_I know it's not the right time for this but I don't like this new… __jealousy __thing that jumps out of me when somebody comes up to you—"_

Jealousy from any other girl normally annoyed me, but it seemed anything to do with Mikan Sakura either made me want to laugh or punch a wall. More often than not, it was the latter.

I had problems.

She shouldn't need to be around any of this, not someone like her.

So when she smiled that hopeful smile, I was instantly alarmed.

She tugged slightly on the edge of her shirt. "We? Are you saying you'd skip out on Hotaru's birthday party if I didn't want to go?" Her eyes were alight with glee and mischief. I felt my throat turn dry as I searched for an answer in my head. She'd been looking for an excuse to opt out of going to Imai's party for the past few days. She didn't like large gatherings of people, she said, not when most of them were strangers. When Shouda had asked her how she would know, considering she probably had never been in a room with more than forty people, Mikan had 'discreetly' shot me a look that clearly reminded me of that disastrous dinner at my house.

"Natsume?" she grinned, eyes bright. "I say we nix the party and watch a movie instead!"

Her excitement was palpable.

It was tempting but Imai responded for me from the other end of the hall. "You two are coming," her voice was dark and the smile slipped easily from Mikan's face. "If I have to put myself through hours of social networking as people I _don't _know continue to try to shake my hand and give me hugs for my birthday, you two are damn well going to suffer with me."

Mikan snorted.

I turned to see Imai raise her eyebrow at me accompanied by a knowing smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at her until she disappeared back into her room. In that short amount of time, Mikan had spilled a dozen articles of clothing on the floor and opted to lie on her bed instead. She was looking up at the ceiling with an air of resignation. "I'm guessing wearing jeans and a hoodie to Hotaru's schmancy party would be a bad idea, huh?" She cracked an eye open to peek up at me from under long eyelashes.

"You can wear whatever you want."

She scowled and leaned up on her elbows to narrow her eyes. "If I can wear whatever I want, why did Permy make a big show of buying a million dollar dress just for this? I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb." She fell back onto the bed with a sharp exhale. "I'm always the sore thumb."

"I did _not _buy a million dollar dress!" was Shouda's muffled screech.

I rolled my eyes before taking a step into her room and closing the door for some privacy. The apartment rooms were too fucking small; they could hear everything and just this once, I…

Her hair was half in her eyes and half in her ponytail as she stared bleakly at the ceiling.

_Just this once, I wanted something for myself._

"What are you doing?"

She had popped back up into a sitting position with wide eyes on me.

She was too naïve sometimes.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Knitting doilies?" The sarcasm was second nature. She scowled and I moved to sit back against the door, raising an eyebrow at the wide-eyed look still on her face. Her hair was a mess. She was perfect. How could she think otherwise? "There's nothing wrong with being a sore thumb."

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Sticking out," I repeated roughly, feeling a tight breath in my throat.

Comprehension dawned before another scowl passed across her face. "Says you! You're probably used to being scrutinized and talked about. Plus, everybody loves you—"

The breath left me quickly as I watched her. Her eyes were downcast and her brown hair was haphazardly tied into a ponytail that half-rested on her shoulder and the rest fell down her back. She crossed her jean-clad legs and tugged quickly on one of the strings on her hoodie.

"_Everybody loves you."_

_Do you?_

"—and I can't exactly say the same thing about myself." She started picking at her duvet with her small fingers, almost self-consciously, though the stubborn pride in her voice spoke otherwise. She was trying to be strong. "You've heard about all the stuff they say about me in school. I don't take them seriously, _of course_," she said quickly, eyes snapping to meet mine for a second, "—but it's no secret I'm not a lot of people's favourite person at Alice Academy."

"Why do you care?"

"I don't!" she said quickly, fire blazing quietly in her eyes. "I know who I am—" she paused, then shook her head with confusion in her eyes. "No, I know what I'm _not_, which is why I can ignore most of the stuff they say."

I sighed, but looked at her quietly. "Most."

She lifted her eyes, but kept tugging restlessly at the string on her hoodie. "When a lot of people are saying a bunch of crap about you when you're around, you can't help but let it get to you, you know?" she muttered dryly. "It's like one minute you're laughing with your friends, then you hear somebody say you're a homewrecker and a skank and it just… brings down your mood. That's all. It just sucks sometimes when you know a lot of people don't like you."

She tried sending over a small smile in my direction, but she really wasn't fooling anyone. She was always such a terrible liar.

They didn't know anything about her. It was a good thing, if she wasn't so affected by it. The less people who knew her, the less people vying for her attention. It was a chore getting any time alone with her as it was. The only downside was, the less people who knew her, the more easily they chose to judge. If only she could see that caring about them wasn't worth it.

"Quality over quantity."

At her surprise, I shifted to place one hand on my knee, keeping my gaze on hers which had widened in surprise. "You have us." Her mouth opened slightly in surprise and a pink flush stole across the tops of her cheeks. "You don't have to care about anybody else."

Her eyes were still wide.

I looked away with a scowl. "Are you going or not?"

"To the party?" There was a laugh in her voice. "Only if you're coming."

Was she trying to be cute or something?

"You realize this is Imai's birthday party, right? My _cousin's _birthday party?" I mimicked her dryly, watching from underneath my eyelashes as she narrowed her eyes with a smile playing at the edges of her lips. "Of course, I have to go."

She swung her legs off the bed and padded across the room, offering a hand to pull me up.

I had the strongest urge to pull her down to me, but the moment passed just as suddenly as it came and before I knew it, she was pulling the door open with a small grin on her face. She was small standing next to me. Her voice held a laugh, as always. "Well as long as you promise not to leave me to the vultures, I'll come."

"I won't leave your side."

The words left before I could urge them back, put them away in a box and lock them away with a key.

She had taken one step out of her room before my words had stopped her. She inhaled quickly before chancing a quick look from underneath her eyelashes. That small, shy smile cut across her lips once more before she said, "I'm holding you to that." She looked down before elbowing me in the arm. "Especially after what I'm going to do next."

I frowned, not understanding, until she took two steps forward, inhaled once more and called, "Permy, I need your expertise."

There was a shriek before Mikan looked back at me with a grimace, taking a few steps past Shouda's door before gesturing to me to come closer with a wave of her hand. "C'mon." When I didn't move, she reached over and pulled on my sleeve, tugging me toward the front door with a fragile force that was almost amusing if it didn't remind me how much of a girl she was. "You are _not _going to be here for this. It's going to get messy."

Before I knew it, I was shoved out the door with a light push.

She looked like she was going to slam the door in my face, but she merely rested one palm on the edge of the door and bit her lip. "If you don't hear from me before dinner…" She actually looked worried.

"You're exaggerating," I rolled my eyes, turning and stuffing one hand in my pocket.

"Permy is _crazy _about shopping! I don't mind it much but I think if I go with her, my legs are going to break." She stepped out into the hallway of the dorm and didn't seem to notice two doors down the hall had opened to allow two feminine heads to pop out into the corridor. Her grip on my sleeve made me blink down at her in amusement. "She's been _waiting _for this, Natsume, for almost _two _months."

"For?"

Her eyes widened almost comically and it would've earned her a scathing remark if she didn't grab hold of two of my fingers in a light grip. The contact sent a hot flash of warmth into my arm that seemed to short-circuit my brain.

Her voice was a low whisper. "Natsume, she's going to take me—"

"_Shopping!_" Shouda crooned. "I love, _looove _shopping."

She squeezed my fingers at the shout and let go quickly as if only just realizing what she did. Her eyes flashed, wide and brown, up to meet mine as another blush darkened her cheeks. "Save yourself," she said quickly before darting back inside and slamming the door in my face.

I stood staring at it for a moment before shaking my head, pocketing my hands and starting down the hall, ignoring the two girls still poking their noses where they didn't belong. At any other moment, I would have said something to make them mind their own business, but my mind kept replaying how warm she was and how her touch still lingered even minutes after she was gone.

-;-

There was a knock on the door.

I grunted, eyes never leaving the manga propped up on my stomach, and heard the door click open before Ruka's blond hair came into view.

"You're not dressed yet?" Ruka's tone was unimpressed, though unsurprised. "Get a move on, Natsume. I thought you were picking up Mikan and Sumire—"

My eyes flashed forward to meet his before he could finish. "I never said I was taking Shouda," I muttered sharply, already imagining the drive over with her annoyingly high-pitched voice in my ear. How Mikan could stand living with that banshee was something I could never understand. "She's deluded if she thinks so. Koko's going to take her."

"That's not what she told Koko." Ruka was amused. He stepped into the room and straightened his tie. Unsurprisingly, he was wearing a fitted black tuxedo fixed with a dark, navy tie. He ran a hand through his hair and checked the time. "I have to go soon," he muttered lowly, before lifting his eyes once more. "Shouda's adamant on catching a ride with you."

I brought the manga back up to hide the scowl. "She's not coming with me. There isn't enough room on my bike for three people."

"You're not honestly thinking about driving up to Hotaru's on your bike, are you?"

I hadn't, but if it was the only way to keep Shouda from coming along for the ride, then the bike would just have to do. Shouda got to see Mikan every day. Was it so much to ask to have her for just one night? They'd been taking this birthday party for Imai far too seriously, going shopping for the past few days to perfect their outfits or whatever girls needed to do. Mikan had said she'd gotten a dress the first day, but then there were a handful of other things to shop for. I never pretended to understand, but after drawing the line about going with them, I hadn't seen her for three days.

When we lived a ten minute walk away from each other, that was simply unacceptable.

I was anxious to see her.

It didn't make sense.

But if I was going to see her today after all of that waiting, I was damn well going to do it without Shouda fucking breathing all of the air in the car.

"She's not afraid of being on the bike anymore," I responded easily, turning the page and continuing to read. "I don't see why it's such a big deal."

"Natsume, have you seen her dress?" That made my eyes snap up to meet his, only to see that his eyebrow was raised in question and a knowing smirk was stretched across his lips. "Trust me, Mikan can't be on your bike if she's wearing that dress. Considering how long Shouda's going to take making her all pretty, everybody will give you hell for messing her up."

_She's already pretty._

"I drive just fine," I said defensively, tossing the manga on my bed before standing up. "I'm not going to crash us. You know I'm a good driver."

"Natsume," Ruka's tone was dry. "It's raining."

_Ah._

I checked my watch. "It's only four o'clock," I muttered sullenly, already thinking about calling a taxi for Shouda. "Why are you already dressed up? We have another four hours before it even starts."

"And God knows you're not going to come until nine." Ruka laughed when I shrugged. It was the truth. "Hotaru's going to need me and she'd be pissed if I didn't come early," he said with a shrug. "I don't mind. First dibs on food."

"Brace yourself for cheek-pinching," I smirked at Ruka, watching as he hid a grimace. My aunts were ecstatic when they found out Imai managed to snag such _a fine gentleman._ "She's not going to save you from them."

"No, she wouldn't, would she?" was Ruka's good-natured reply. He laughed before heading back toward the door. "Hotaru told me to tell you to wear a tie, by the way," his hand was on the doorknob.

I scoffed before grabbing a water bottle from the mini-fridge. "That's not going to happen."

"That's what I said." He opened the door but didn't leave until he got in another word. "But if you are, Mikan's wearing green."

I almost dropped the bottle when I remembered, _Mikan was going to be wearing a dress_. The thought was enough to cause my skin to heat up with curiosity. She only ever wore jeans and sweaters, but a dress… how would she look in a dress? It was nothing to get excited about. It was just an article of clothing, after all, and she'd look good either way, but...

For some reason, the idea of us going to Imai's together, the idea of people knowing that we were going together—

I closed my eyes and tried to picture the dress. "Green?" I asked quietly, swallowing when shades of green appeared behind my eyelids.

"Yup," Ruka popped the 'p' with amusement radiating from his entire being. "Green. Dark green, actually. It's a nice colour." He twisted the knob until it made a squeaking sound, making me open my eyes. Ruka had a sly grin on his face. "I left the tie on the counter."

_Imai…_

"I'm not wearing the fucking tie."

Ruka grinned. "Well, this is just in case you change your mind."

Before he could close the door all the way, I couldn't stop the almost petulant retort, "Your girlfriend doesn't fight fair."

"Oh I know," he laughed before closing the door.

Once he left and I heard the front door close, it took me just under a minute to make a beeline to the kitchen where the mocking, dark green tie lay patiently on the counter. It was a good colour, nice and dark, and it would look beautiful on her pale skin. I picked it up, the soft fabric was cool against the rough pad of my fingers. Would wearing this tie be worth the knowing looks on their faces? The taunts?

The answer was simple.

I took my phone out, punched in a number and waited for him to pick-up. The loud, obnoxious greeting made me cringe. "Koko, you're taking Shouda to Imai's," I said without preamble. "I don't care how you do it, but take her. Bribe her with chocolates or something."

There was barely a pause before he snorted a laugh. _"Or I could take Mikan!" _

I suppressed a growl. "Like hell you are."

"_You know I'm joking! You've got it, Captain. I'll see you in a few hours!" _Koko responded easily, after a laugh. "_You're not coming late again, are you? Imai's going to have your head."_

It took a moment of thought, but the response left me honestly. "No, this time will be different."

-;-

I was late, despite Ruka calling earlier to make sure I got ready.

I ran my hand through my hair and peered up at the rear view mirror past the driver's shoulder and tried to pat down my messy hair, still wet from the shower I had just half an hour ago. The tie Imai had left for me was lying on the seat beside me with an almost obnoxious appeal. I could just picture the smirk on Imai's face when she saw me with it. I hated playing right into her hand.

"You look fine, Natsume-sama." My eyes flashed to Kanou, the driver, to see that his eyes were fixed firmly on the road. The smile playing on his lips made my neck start to heat up, especially when he continued conversationally, "Special girl?"

I grunted 'hardly' under my breath and turned away from the mirror to look out the window. My hands were restless on my knees.

With a dull beep, the phone in the cup holder buzzed. I knew it was Mikan without having to look at the screen and clicked through the text to read: _Always the gentleman, aren't you, Hyuuga?_

I didn't bother responding as Kanou pulled up to Mikan's building. Before the car could pull to a complete stop, I threw the door open and darted out with the tie, throwing it around my neck quickly and trying to do it up as I ran up the steps, past the front office and pounded on the button to the elevator. The numbers on top of the door flashed from five, four and downward and I pulled uselessly at the tie, trying to undo the knot to start the tying process once again.

The elevator pinged.

I growled before pulling the tie off entirely, stuffing it into my pocket and jabbing at the button to Mikan's floor.

It wasn't until I was getting off the elevator that I realized I was being absolutely ridiculous. I never cared about being on time for any birthday parties before. The only events I came relatively early for were the charity and business functions the Hyuugas threw themselves and even then, I was late. Mikan didn't care much for punctuality either; she hadn't even wanted to come to this party. My feet slowed as I inhaled deeply, trying to ease the heavy feeling in my throat.

_We have plenty of time._

I stopped in front of her door and waited a beat to collect myself before I knocked. The sound reverberated loudly down the hall and I closed my eyes to ease the echo it made in my mind. Briefly I wondered whether it was the echo or whether it was my heartbeat in my ears. Two long seconds later, the door knob twisted dully and I opened my eyes in time to see her.

The breath in my throat stuck.

I couldn't breathe.

As always, she managed to do the talking and the words eased the fog from my mind. "You're late. You said you wouldn't be," she chided lightly, a nervous lilt to her voice. "Does that fancy watch on your wrist actually work or are you wearing it to try to make yourself look smart?"

I closed my eyes and smirked, the image of her on the back of my eyelids couldn't compare to how she looked in reality.

I'd need to try to put the tie on again.

I told her to shut up and opened my eyes to see the spark in hers. I didn't know what to say. The dress was a dark green, strapless number that made her look far girlier than she normally did. Her hair was down for once, long, brown and wavy. There was nothing else to say. I cleared my throat and looked back up at her. "That looks… nice on you." I wondered if she could catch the choking itch at my throat, but she merely smiled widely, ducking her head down until a light blush dusted her cheeks.

She peered up from her eyelashes slyly. "Yeah, well you don't look too bad yourself." She stepped forward with a slight laugh and pulled the tie from my front pocket. "Nice tie. It would probably look better if you, oh I don't know, wore it? Instead of poorly hiding it in your pocket anyway."

She was close enough for me to take in the faint whiff of her scent. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she stepped forward to put the tie around my neck. She was saying something, but it was low and I found it difficult to concentrate on anything other than the way her eyelashes were lowered and the paleness of her skin. I could have kissed her on the forehead if I wanted to.

And I wanted to.

She stepped back before the fog in my mind could take action and blinked up at me with wide eyes. "Ready to go?" her voice was faint. She cleared it and said in a louder voice, "We're already pretty late because of you. Permy and Koko already left."

I ran a hand through my hair and nodded slightly, glancing down to see that she expertly crafted the tie around my neck. "Didn't think you could tie this properly," I muttered, picking it up to look at it before dropping it on my chest. I looked over at her to see the door still wide open. I moved her slightly, my hand at the small of her back, before I closed it for her.

She grinned before walking slowly toward the elevator. "Yeah, dad used to be hopeless with ties. I guess… I guess you're kind of like him in that way."

I followed her slowly, without speaking, as we rode the elevator down together. It wasn't until we both stepped out of the elevator, with her chattering on about something, that I reached quietly for her hand and folded it into mine. She paused almost imperceptibly before continuing to speak and I breathed out a sigh of relief at the ease of us, me and her, together just like this.

-;-

By the time we arrived at the Imais, the round driveway was packed with cars still coming in and when it was clear the line wouldn't be letting up soon, I grabbed Mikan's hand, thanked Kanou (who smiled cheekily) and stepped out of the car, turning to pull her out. I hadn't noticed, but she was wearing a pair of deathtrap shoes that made her wobble every once and a while.

Her eyes flashed up to mine after she wobbled once again. They narrowed darkly. "Laugh it up, Natsume, but I could _accidentally _crush your toe with these things."

I shook my head with another laugh until she let go of my hand to tuck her hand into the crook of my arm. "Is this okay?" she asked nervously, biting her lip in that way that made me want to kiss her. "It's just that these heels are so—"

"It's fine," I grunted, turning to look forward as we walked toward the house. "I don't need you to fall to know that you've fallen for me."

I almost wanted to take it back, not wanting to see her reaction, but she choked out a laugh.

"You cocky little—" She slapped my arm and I couldn't help the laugh that itched its way out of my throat when I gazed back down at her. There was a faint smile on her lips. "Arrogance doesn't look too good on you, jerk."

"But it looks a little good, huh?"

She squeezed my arm, shaking her head, before we climbed the steps up to Imai's house. I was hyper aware of the figure at my side and caught her at every wobble of her shoes. She would glare at me every time she looked up, despite the fact that I didn't make a sound. She was so childish, such a hazard. What was she doing wearing these ridiculous shoes when she couldn't even walk in them?

I asked her just that when we'd made it to the top of the stairs, nodding absentmindedly at the people that walked by, hollering a hello in our direction.

"Well Sumire let me borrow this dress and when we went shopping, she said these shoes would match it perfectly…" She huffed and pulled awkwardly at the hem of her short dress. "Sumire said they would make me look pretty."

"You always look…" I paused and looked away when her head snapped up. I cleared my throat. "You don't have to wear these ridiculous shoes to impress anyone. I thought you knew that."

She clenched her jaw, eyes staring into mine resolutely. "I'm not trying to impress anyone. I just—" She turned and folded her arms together. Her voice was soft. "I just want to fit in for once. I don't want anybody to stare at me because I'm different and not classy and not in _your _world." She turned her head and gazed at me imploringly. "I just want to be able to stand beside you without everybody saying how you're always so out of my league, how I don't deserve you, how you're just—"

I cut her off. "You're such a—"

_This girl…_

I looked at her and couldn't help the annoyance from colouring my words. "You're such an idiot."

She opened her mouth to retaliate but I stepped forward and boldly held out my hand, just as dozens of guests arrived behind us. She seemed to notice because she squeaked out an apology for blocking the way and leapt toward me, holding onto my hand tightly as they shuffled past. Their eyes drifted in our direction for far longer than necessary.

She was warm in my arms and I didn't bother censoring the words that left me. "Some people think you always look pretty."

Before she could respond, I pulled her toward the open doors and into Imai's house. It was like a traffic jam of people slowly shuffling forward and I took a decided step toward the off-limit stairwell, nodding appreciatively at Arai who was blocking off the stairs. Mikan couldn't jog up the stairs, so she pulled her heels off and let me pull her up after me.

"Where are we going?" she huffed in irritation at the second flight of stairs.

"Short-cut," I offered shortly, taking her through the third floor past the bedrooms and to the set of stairs leading into the ballroom. By the time I pulled her up to one of the back entrances to the ballroom, she was out of breath with flushed cheeks and her bangs had escaped to stick slightly to her forehead. I smirked before pushing them away and raising an eyebrow at her wide eyes. "Stop staring at me and put on your shoes. Unless, of course, you want to walk into the ballroom without your shoes on."

She blinked and frowned before putting her shoes on, grabbing onto my shoulder to ease her tiny feet into equally tiny shoes. "You're kind of weird, you know that?" she huffed in annoyance, pushing her hair off her shoulder. She gazed up at me for a second. "Are you ready?"

She was beautiful.

I shook my head. "I should be asking _you_ that."

I opened the door wide for her and watched as she took in the great room. It was decorated in tasteful décor, as was typical for Imai's birthdays, but Mikan took it in like it was _Neverland_. She would have tripped over her own feet had I not caught her easily by the elbow. She looked at me gratefully before we searched for the birthday girl.

I pulled on the neck of my tie reflexively.

"Where _is _she?" Mikan craned onto her toes but even with the heels on, she wasn't much taller than my nose. She tugged on my sleeve. "Do you see her, Natsume?"

I did see her and opted to begin walking in that direction. "You're short," I called back to her, tucking one hand in my pocket as I peered back.

"Tell me something I don't know," she murmured sullenly, grabbing the hem of her dress reflexively before shuffling to catch up. "Could you slow down? If you go any faster, I'm going to trip."

Imai looked over the moment Mikan put her hand in mine and I clenched my jaw when the smirk immediately pulled at her lips. Ruka had his arm around her waist and couldn't keep the insolent smile off of his face. "Nice tie," they chimed with a laugh in their throats.

I rolled my eyes.

Mikan let go of my hand quickly to pull Imai into a hug, saying none too quietly, "I don't get it. What's so funny, Hotaru?"

Ruka sniggered and I moved to him grimly. "She's not going to let this go, is she?"

He shook his head with a grin. "Nor will I." I glared at him but he was unruffled. "You two look good together." I shot him another look. He tried again. "Where's Sumire? You didn't just leave her there, did you?"

I snorted. "Like Polka would let that happen. Koko took her."

As if on cue, the both of them were seen pushing past couples in order to get to us.

Shouda looked furious.

Imai turned to Ruka as soon as she saw them. "Nogi, let's dance. I don't want to—"

Before she could finish her sentence, the both of them had arrived. Shouda immediately said happy birthday to Imai before she made a beeline to Mikan. Koko merely stopped in front of me with his head cocked to the side. He blinked twice before grinning. "Nice tie."

I resisted the strong urge to hit him in the head.

The party was long and drawn out. It seemed like hours had passed when in reality, it may have been just an hour of standing and talking and refusing requests from other girls to dance. Vaguely I wondered why Mikan never asked me, especially when she danced with Ruka and Koko multiple times. I thought the party would be a little more tolerable with her here, but it was still nothing short of agonizing. Seeing the look on Imai's face every time somebody came up to her with open arms and 'happy birthday' on their lips made it a little more worth it.

I smirked over the random girl's shoulder at Imai who narrowed her eyes in a glare. "Thank you," she said dryly, immediately letting go of the girl and stepping closer to my side. "Pretend you're making conversation with me, Hyuuga," she clipped quickly as another herd of well-wishers came by. "If you do, I'll let you leave within half an hour."

I scoffed. "I can leave whenever the hell I want."

It was her turn to scoff before she raised her eyes derisively to mine. "We all know you're not leaving without Mikan. Here's a little advice, from one bloodline to the next," she offered dryly, brushing back an errant black strand of her hair. "Instead of glaring at my boyfriend as he dances with her, as well as every other boy that's bound to want to dance with her tonight, you could just put yourself out of your misery by asking her to dance yourself." She exhaled in relief as the group passed by and then searched the crowd with her eyes.

We found them at the same time, Mikan laughing as Ruka spun her in a circle.

"You're pathetic for a Hyuuga, you know that?" I turned back to find Imai's violet eyes on mine. "I know you're used to other girls asking you to dance but that idiot's a romantic. You've seen the types of books she reads. She wants you to ask her."

"I never suspected you to be a busybody, Imai," I tore my eyes away from the dancing couple.

She rolled her eyes. "I prefer the term 'observant'. It helps that you make it painfully obvious you have a crush on her." She pulled on the end of my tie with an insolent smirk. "I didn't think you knew how to tie these. You're something of a hopeless failure when it comes to dressing up."

"She tied it."

I looked away but it didn't erase the smile I knew was on her face. The dry chuckle that escaped her made heat inch up my neck.

"I'm going to do you a favour," she declared with amusement laced in her words. I looked at her suspiciously, but she merely pulled my tuxedo together and did up the two buttons. When she was finished, she smirked up at me. "You'll owe me, of course."

With that, she walked away from the tables we were standing by and made a beeline to Ruka. For some reason, I knew I was meant to follow her. He seemed to sense her coming because Ruka's blond head of hair snapped up before a wide grin slid onto his face. His eyes met mine before he leaned down to whisper something into Mikan's ear. I swear he tucked some of her hair behind her ear before he let her go in time to sweep Imai into the tides of music.

Imai looked back at me before I could catch up and said, "Put this loser out of his misery and ask him to dance." Her words were directed at Mikan. "You kissed him, you might as well ask him to dance since you're the one with the balls in this relationship."

_So much for helping._

With one last smirk, Ruka led her off.

Mikan blinked once before turning to me with a grin. "What was _that _all about?"

I could feel the heat creeping up my neck again as I contemplated what to tell her, how I was going to go about asking her, how well it would go, if at all. I knew how to dance but the only practice I had was dancing with mom and Aoi at charity functions.

When she looked at me imploringly, I sighed. "Who knows. Imai is a barmy freak." She laughed, but didn't comment and opted to look around at the other dancing couples instead. I swallowed and fought the urge to abandon all efforts. With my heartbeat in my ears, I stepped toward her and blurted out, "Dance with me?"

The answering smile almost made it worth it.

_Almost._

Her hands were cool, or it could have been the fucking embarrassment I could feel pulsing through my veins that made my hands extra hot as she put one hand in mine and the other on my shoulder. It was strange, dancing with a girl other than my mother and sister. She felt different. Or maybe I just felt different about her.

"If I step on your feet," she started nervously, stepping closer to me. "—I apologize in advance. I swear Koko has a broken big toe because of me."

I slid my eyes to her face and grunted. The dry words were automatic. "I hope you punctured a hole through Ruka's feet."

She breathed out a laugh. "No, Ruka was a good dancer. Dancing with him was so easy." She paused before looking at me in challenge. "Let me guess, you're a better dancer than Ruka, huh? You're the best at everything else, you might as well be the best at this too."

I didn't know whether or not to be insulted or smug. Neither seemed apt, and the awkwardness settled in my throat. "Ruka's a better dancer. He," I paused when I glimpsed her big brown eyes, exhaled and looked past her shoulder. "He gets a lot more practice."

She hummed and then snorted a laugh. "Oh, I get it." The smile on her face was wide. "You probably don't dance with anyone but your mom and Aoi huh?"

I looked away with embarrassment in time to hear the loud, dorky laugh that always managed to make me want to smile. I told her to shut up, but I stilled when she put the hand she had on my shoulder against the side of my neck. Her smile was soft. "I'm glad I'm the exception to your dance rule."

_You're the exception to all of my rules._

I couldn't look her in the face and opted to pull her closer to hide the embarrassment. It really was too easy to forget about Aoi's problems, Grandma's health and Akimoto when it was just the both of us like this. It was easy to laugh and forget. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

When the song ended, I stepped hastily away from her.

"Thanks for the dance!" she grinned.

She put her hand in mine as I led us back toward the tables of food and couldn't help the mumble, "Thanks for not breaking my feet."

She tried to kick me, but missed and I let myself smirk before I saw Imai's face. She was speaking furiously to Ruka and looked ridiculous with such a serious expression on her face while she held a crab cake in her hand. Imai saw us coming and instead of the smirk I thought she'd flash my way, she had a clenched jaw. "I want to kill him," she bit out viciously, tossing her crab cake onto the closest table. "Then I'll kill whoever let the two of them into my house."

I was about to ask what the hell she was going on about, but the answer dawned on me before I turned to look at the main entrance of the ballroom.

The frisson of anger that welled in my stomach made a white streak flash across my vision.

He was sauntering into the room with the smile everybody found charming with none other than Koizumi on his arm. I couldn't believe it, and wondered why I was so surprised. "Somebody grab security before I beat the shit out of him," Imai muttered darkly, pasting a dry smirk on her face when the both of them sidled across the room toward us. "I'm serious. If he greets me happy birthday in that sickeningly constipated voice of his, I'm going to—"

They stopped before us.

His blue eyes met mine, glassy and arrogant. "The delivery of my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail," Akimoto drawled loudly, swinging a hand out flamboyantly. It could have been a smooth gesture had it not been obvious that he was drunk when he stumbled. He inclined his head in an arrogant bow. "Happy birthday, Imai-_san_."

Koizumi, who still had one hand on Akimoto's arm, smiled widely at me before turning to Imai. "Happy birthday, Imai-san. As always, the décor looks marvelous. Once the adults leave, I suppose you'll be changing the music?"

Imai opened her mouth to snarl but Ruka responded for her. "Thank you. She appreciates it."

I blinked, slightly startled, when Mikan squeezed my hand. I'd forgotten she was still holding it. I looked down at her from the corner of my eyes and inclined my head slightly to hear her whisper, "I think he's drunk, Natsume."

"Mikan, Mikan," Akimoto drawled, stepping closer toward the both of us and blinking his eyes widely. "May I just say you look beautiful tonight? You're always beautiful, of course, but tonight you look simply spectacular." He'd fumbled on the word spectacular twice before it had come out correctly. Vaguely, I wondered how he managed to say it so easily while I had such trouble saying the same thing.

"Thank you?" Mikan responded with confusion lacing her words. "Uh, you look good, Luna."

Koizumi merely smiled primly before turning to face me. "You look great, Natsume."

"Ok, why don't we just say we all look great and stop with the pleasantries," Imai grated irritably. "I want you to grab a pastry each and leave before security escorts you out."

"But Imai-san, our families are old friends," Koizumi said easily, smiling. "Surely you understand that if you force us out, we won't be going quietly. Besides, _I _got an invitation."

Imai narrowed her eyes before hissing, "From whom?"

The smile that slid onto her lips was dangerous. "Your mother. I called yesterday, we talked and she extended the invitation most graciously. Of course, she was shocked to find out I wasn't on the guest list, but I was very understandable and the situation was resolved quite easily. Hitoshi-kun is here as my date, of course."

It wasn't long before Koko came up from behind them, gesturing wildly and mouthing words that appeared to be, _they're not supposed to be here!_

_I know, Koko. I know._

When I looked back to the duo, it was to see Akimoto's blue eyes staring darkly at our clasped hands. He caught me glaring at him before he let out a dark laugh, sliding his gaze back to Mikan who remained small at my side. She gave my hand a squeeze before letting go quickly.

"I don't get it," Akimoto announced lightly, though it was clear there was nothing good-humoured about his countenance. "I'm always trying to catch your attention and he does _nothing_, but you still like him better? He's a jerk who doesn't have the decency to talk to anybody else because he thinks he's so much better. He's nothing. Why do you like him better?"

Before she could respond, his eyes slid to mine. "You're never going to live up to your father, no matter how hard you try." A dark heat spread across my spine and it was a good thing Mikan let go of my hands because they were clenched into fists, ready for him to cross the line. Koizumi appeared to be trying to settle him down, but he dropped her arm and sauntered closer to the both of us, his breath smelled of liquor. "Does Natsume still feel insecure without daddy to give him a helping hand?"

I tried to remember how I could have ever been friends with him.

Then I remembered his parents, how he changed when they died. It was no reason, but it was an excuse. It didn't make me uncurl my fingers though, as he continued his verbal assault. He talked about my mother and how I wasn't all that great. He talked about a lot of things.

And then he talked about Aoi.

I took a step toward him and he waited for a blow that would not come. Instead, I leaned down to his ear. "If you say one more word about my family," I said darkly, "—I'm going make your life even more miserable and pathetic than it already is. You know I haven't done anything to you so far. You know very well that I could destroy you." I paused when he stiffened, then I pulled back. "Now back away."

"You're a mistake, Natsume," he taunted darkly, in a wobbly voice. "Your life is so _perfect_, isn't it?" he spat as he took a step back. "You think the world is yours. You think you can do just about anything. But you can't, Natsume. You're nothing at all." He turned to Mikan who tensed at my side and the dark edge to his voice simmered back into an arrogant confidence that made me want to rip him apart. "You can do a lot better than Natsume Hyuuga," he said easily, shooting her a winning smile. "When he's done with you, Mikan, feel free to come to me. I don't mind having sloppy seconds."

She looked like she wanted to say a lot of things, but at that last statement, Mikan's jaw dropped in disbelief. She sputtered something that sounded like, _what? Did he just say—_

But by then, Akimoto had inclined his head somewhat insolently before making his way back toward the exit. "Where are you going?" Koizumi hissed at him, taking a step in his direction. "You're not going to leave me here dateless, Hitoshi."

"Then come with me," he sang easily, bumping his shoulders against the people standing in his way. "This party is—"

He didn't finish because one minute he was looking over his shoulder to sneer another condescending remark, the next second he was down. I caught the retreating foot and traced it back to Kitsuneme who was looking away with a smirk on his face. Despite the fact that he had a crush on Mikan, I could feel an increase in respect toward him.

"I can't believe Kitsuneme just—" she looked up at me with a laugh before shaking her head with the smile still on her face. "I honestly can't believe this. He just… and then Kitsuneme…" She turned to Imai. The smug look on her face was obvious. "You sure know how to throw a party, Hotaru."

Imai didn't respond. Instead she looked at Ruka. "What time is it? I need this party to end already."

"You've got another two and a half hours," Ruka answered with a laugh. "I think we can just leave. Nobody's going to miss you too much."

She glared at him, but he merely responded with a charming smile.

I shook my head and looked down at the girl with the green dress. Green really did suit her. "Do you want to get out of here?" I didn't want to be stuck in the oppressive room of stares and music for longer than I needed to. With Akimoto's appearance, all I wanted was to lie down and watch TV.

She looked up and grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

"Wait a—"

I looked up and cut Imai off before she could say another word. "You said so yourself, Imai. You'd set me free within half an hour."

She snapped her lips closed as Ruka chuckled from beside her. "I didn't say anything about the idiot beside you," she returned petulantly.

"Sorry, Hotaru," Mikan shrugged with a sheepish grin. "We're kind of a package deal. Happy birthday!"

She laughed on the way out, waving goodbye to Koko and her other roommate before we made it outside. The car was on the way to get us and at the back of my mind, as I watched her catch her breath, I wished for my birthday so that I could just drive her wherever I wanted once I got my license without having ridiculous chauffeurs.

"Can we just watch a movie on your couch?" she asked after a second, peering up at me from the steps of Imai's house. "I really don't want to do anything else but lie down and watch mindless entertainment."

She was perfect.

Imai kept saying she was a romantic, that she always expected the grand gestures and the declarations of—well, the nauseating words girls always wanted to hear from boys, but I didn't think that was true. Because despite not being able to say any of those words, she still managed to understand the words I couldn't say.

"Can we grab some McDonalds too? Those finger sandwiches are nice and all, but I'm still really hungry."

I closed my eyes and smirked.

"Natsume?"

"What?" I opened my eyes.

She had a cheeky grin on her face, one that I only ever saw when she was wearing jeans and a sweater, and I just knew she was going to say something smart.

"I'm glad _some _people think I always look pretty."

_She still managed to understand the words I couldn't say._

Sometimes I wondered whether that was a good thing or not.

* * *

_There are very little descriptions about what everyone is wearing, including Sumire and Luna__'s dresses, because Natsume is a boy and he doesn__'t really notice these things. _Thanks again for the favourites and continue giving me outtake requests! Only two more to go and we're officially done. :)


	29. The Spy Scene

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The plot is mine.  
**  
Note: **This is an outtake midway through chapter 23 and a little beyond from Hotaru's POV to see what happened during Operation P.I.S.S. This took far too long to write and made me want to tear my hair out from the roots and stomp around like a petulant child, but finally, _finally_ it's finished. Happy reading everyone (:

**Dedication: **For **bienenstich** because she was curious about Hotaru's perspective and well, a lot of you wanted to see Natsume's reaction behind the scenes of the climax so here it is, from me to you.

* * *

_No sleep today  
Can't even rest when the sun's down  
No time, there's not enough  
And nobody's watching me now._

_When we were children we'd play out in the streets just dipped in fate._  
_When we were children, we'd say that we don't know the meaning of_

_Fear, fear, fear. _

_"Fear" - **One Republic  
**_

**Chapter 23½: The Spy Scene**

-;-

_Mikan Sakura-san… you are involved with the fall of humankind. You must be very careful._

Ruka's jaw had dropped and his eyes had widened enough to border on the size of quarters.

I wondered why, despite knowing him for so long, he still managed to amuse me with his reactions. He reminded me of a lost dog being spoken to in words he didn't understand. It would have looked pitiful on anybody else.

I finished off my muffin and slipped one of the wet napkins from the package in my pocket before I wiped off my hands. The sky was darkening and with circumstances as they were, I would need to take advantage of the little time left between now and Akimoto's party. It was truly a wonder how easily Mikan stirred up trouble, no matter how unintentional.

"Hotaru, you can't be serious."

My eyes flickered from the sky back to Ruka. I raised an eyebrow at him and watched as his disbelief shifted into wary amusement.

He rolled his eyes before sitting heavily in the seat across from me. "Okay, that was a stupid thing to say. But—" He looked away and locked his jaw, biding his time. Patience wasn't a virtue I had very much of and Ruka knew it. I placed the napkin on the table, folded my hands in my lap and waited for a brief moment. Finally, he turned blue eyes to me and blurted out, "He _likes _you."

His penchant for stating the obvious was almost amusing. "That's very much the point," I returned dryly. "This wouldn't work any other way without blackmail."

"Well I'd rather you blackmail somebody else than go to _him_!"

His jealousy was both irritating and unfounded. "Jealousy isn't a good colour on you, Nogi." I gazed at him for a moment, taking in the frown on his lips, before standing up and making my way back toward the school. "Time is money and this is much faster."

Vaguely, I could hear him following before he caught my elbow and looked at me with a frown in his eyes. His hand was warm and strange on my arm. I fought the urge to shrug it off. "So you're just going to… what? Seduce him with your feminine wiles?" he blurted out incredulously. "Hotaru, I never really understood what went on in that head of yours but this… what are you _thinking?_"

"Feminine wiles?" Where did he come up with these things? I shrugged his hand off my arm and put some distance between us. "My plans are a far cry from seduction. I told you, I plan to speak to him. I can be very persuasive when I want to be."

"When you're planning on chatting up some other guy that likes you in order to get something, I think that's what people these days call 'seduction'," Ruka said in a half-dry, half-anxious way. He stepped closer. I wondered why he was always keen on invading my personal space in public. "That's cold," he blinked blue eyes, clear in its discontent. "You really don't have any regard toward my feelings."

I blinked up at him at a loss as to why he was acting so sensitive. I was doing this for Mikan, for the idiot that apparently never thought of the consequences of her actions before it was already too late. I wouldn't be doing this for anybody else.

"You feel too much," I returned easily. "I am not to blame for your sensitivity issues. And really, Nogi, I'm offended you would describe me as a girl that would 'chat up' anybody. You should know far better than most that I would rather eat glass than waste my time."

He exhaled sharply when the bell rang, signalling the end to the English class we escaped from.

"If you will excuse me—" I stepped around him to enter the building. "—I must get to the music building before Matsudaira leaves."

"How do you even know he's there?" Ruka fell into step beside me.

It was apparent he forgot who he was talking to.

"Hayate Matsudaira is an Art student rumoured to be quite proficient with woodwind instruments and the piano. Most of his time is spent in the music building when he is not holed up in a pathetic classroom in the West wing of the high school branch home to the Comic Book club. His father is the CEO of Matsudaira Music, the company that manufactures a wide assortment of musical instruments, and his mother used to be a renowned piano player before she broke her entire right arm in a car accident in Europe. Matsudaira plays the piano during their bi-annual dinner soirees and makes at least four women cry in the process. He has a poor academic track record in any subject away from the music building; however, he was on a myriad of sports' teams back in middle school. His circle of friends involves a strange patch of individuals including Hajime, the boy in my Chemistry class with a weak spot for bugs. It's rumoured he carries a jar of earwigs in his book bag without fail. I could go on but," I turned slightly to see Ruka shaking his head warily, "—I believe I've made my point. Unless you would like me to continue?"

"No thank you," Ruka muttered dryly. "With all of the stuff you have to do, I wonder how you manage to find the time to stalk people."

"Stalking implies stealthily pursuing a person or prey," I said lowly, brushing past a group of girls taking up half of the walkway. "It requires far more patience than I have. You know that." I could see the music building just up ahead and I stopped just in front of the stairs. "I don't need to leave the comforts of my bedroom to know what people are doing here. So no, Nogi, I do not _stalk_ people_. _I prefer the term 'research.'"

Ruka inhaled with wispy exasperation. "You're being difficult."

"You're being annoying."

"Are we really doing this?" Ruka pushed his hands into his pockets without taking his firm blue eyes off of me.

I glanced at my watch. "No, I don't have time. Go home."

He blinked and looked at me with disbelief. "You can't possibly believe I'd leave you alone for two seconds with that crazy senior." I could feel a dark bolt of indignation well up inside of me but before I could toss him a scathing remark, Ruka continued. "And it's not because I don't trust you and it's not because I don't think you can handle yourself. I just don't trust _him_. He's infatuated with you! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't protect you from deranged guys?"

A frisson of annoyance hit my spine. "If you're saying anybody that likes me is a deranged man, you're calling yourself one." The blooming look of wide-eyed panic was apparent in his expression. I narrowed my eyes. "I also wonder what that says about me."

He stuttered.

I turned and started up the stairs to the building before I could hear him bumbling after me. "You know I think you're great, Hotaru!"

Despite detecting the sincerity, all I could do was turn and glare at him. "Charming."

He bounded up the stairs beside me and reached to pull the door open before I could get there.

I didn't bat an eyelash.

Whatever Ruka was ready to say was drowned out by the loud exclamation of surprise that sounded like a clash between an angry bird and a baby calf. I spotted Matsudaira coming from across the hall in stomping, hurried steps that made him look like a chimpanzee. Vaguely I wondered why I seemed to attract all of the neurotic ones.

"You're in the music building," Matsudaira gasped and ground to a halt a foot away from me. "Cool Blue Sky and music... two of the things I love the most. I could sing!"

"Don't," I gazed at him firmly. "Now there is a matter we must discuss and I would much prefer it not be in close proximity to half a dozen of your musical colleagues."

Ruka snorted loudly and muttered something low under his breath.

"Of course!" he chirped in an obscenely cheerful voice. "Let's go outside where the sky is clear and blue—oh! Cool Blue Sky, clear blue skies!" There was barely a pause before his eyes glazed. He all but chirped, "You're everything!"

I didn't have to look at Ruka to know he had that disbelieving look on his face again.

I could already feel the pounding in my head.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm the rising heat of annoyance in my chest. "Matsudaira, refrain from making nauseating declarations of affection and that _name _you call me must never be repeated in, and out of, my presence. It is Imai and nothing more."

Matsudaira's gaze never wavered from my face and it was beginning to grate on my nerves. "Are you listening to me?"

"Every word." His reply was immediate.

I resisted the urge to shoot him. I breathed in slowly. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes."

"Good." I nodded once and turned. "Now the sooner this matter is addressed—"

"Hotaru-chan!" He called from over my shoulder. I stopped in my tracks and sighed, barely turning around before he jabbed a finger to point at Ruka and asked with wide, unpleased eyes, "What's _he _doing here?"

Ruka visibly bristled. "What do you mean? I've been standing here the whole time. Don't pretend you didn't see me until now," Ruka said with annoyance.

"When I see Hotaru-chan, she's the only thing I see," Matsudaira returned defiantly.

Ruka shot me a disgruntled look and looked at me as if this was some kind of test.

I didn't blink. "What _are _you doing here, Nogi?"

"What do you mean?" he gaped widely. "I'm here for you."

"I don't need you."

"HA!"

I suppose I didn't realize the consequences of that sentence until Matsudaira burst into a dance complete with air punches and gloating looks directed at Ruka. I fought the urge to rub my forehead where the headache was quickly pinching my temples.

Ruka thrust his hands into his pockets moodily, much like his best friend would. His eyes were warm and moody. "That's cold, Hotaru."

"So I've heard," I muttered darkly. I turned abruptly away from the two, and the dozen music students beginning to crowd around, and made my way out the doors before heading toward the empty quad.

I could hear the both of them bickering behind me and when it was clear we were out of earshot, I inhaled to ease the annoyance and turned to face them.

Ruka immediately stepped to my side and wound an arm around my waist.

I jabbed my elbow into his ribs hard enough for him to let go.

I looked back at Matsudaira who looked half-smug and half-devoted and fought the urge to grind my teeth. "I want you to do me a favour that I won't return," I said without preamble. "You have an invitation to Hitoshi Akimoto's party that I want."

The confusion lasted but a moment on Matsudaira's face before his eyes brightened along with his grin. "I'd much rather go out for dinner with you than go to his party anyway!"

Ruka choked.

It was my turn to bristle. "Let me repeat myself: I want you to do me a favour that I won't return."

"But I'm not asking for a favour," Matsudaira smiled cheerfully. "I'm asking for a date. One date. You and me." His eyes slid briefly to the side before his smile widened. He nodded his head in Ruka's direction. "Without him."

"Not going to happen," Ruka growled, stepping up to my elbow.

I narrowed my eyes. "No date, but Nogi will buy you a complementary dinner from wherever you'd like."

"I'd rather you be there with me," Matsudaira countered cheekily.

"I'd rather not."

"Okay. Dinner is moving a little too fast," he conceded with a frown. "How about lunch!"

His grin was hopeful.

I clenched my fists at my side. "I'll pass," I replied dryly. "Give me your invitation."

"Will you say Cool Blue Sky's catch phrase?" Before I could answer, Matsudaira's brown eyes turned to mock-glare into the foreseeable distance and he thrust one finger up to the sky. _"__I will kill you because no one is innocent!"_

He turned back with a grin.

I glared at him. "Definitely not."

"Please, Hotaru-chan, _please_!"

He probably would have dropped on to his knees if Ruka hadn't piped up in a possessive growl: "She's _my _girlfriend. Stop trying to pick her up."

The way he spoke made him sound like a four year old claiming ownership over his favourite crayon. I refused to waste my time any longer.

_Mikan Sakura-san… you are involved with the fall of humankind. You must be very careful._

"Matsudaira," I called sharply. Two pairs of eyes whipped over to me. "One hour. No lunch. No date. You can buy yourself a coffee and have one hour of my time for that damned invitation."

His smile was almost blinding. "Three hours," he negotiated without much conviction.

"One hour."

"Two hours," he countered.

"_One_."

"An hour and a half?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"One hour it is!" Matsudaira fist-pumped with a crow of delight. The idea must have dawned on him because he visibly shrunk after a moment. "Wait, today? But I'm not even presentable! I don't even know what we're going to be doing! An amusement park? A movie? Comicon? The beach?"

"Hotaru, what are you _thinking_?" Ruka hissed in disbelief. Without waiting for an answer, he shot a glare in Matsudaira's direction. "Stop talking as if you're taking her out on a date."

"But I _am _taking her out on a date," Matsudaira crowed again, glancing over to me before grinning widely. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world!"

I exhaled sharply before thrusting my hand out. "Give me the invitation, Matsudaira, or the deal's off."

His hand disappeared into his backpack in a second before he was pressing it into my hands. I pulled away instinctively and looked at the golden invitation with a critical eye. To think I'd sacrificed an hour of my life because of that stupid idiot. To think _this _stupid piece of cardboard made me stoop to such an abominable level.

I shook my head and started walking away.

"Wait! When's our date?" Matsudaira squawked from behind me. "I want to get ice cream with you!"

"It's not a date," I said neutrally.

An unfamiliar hand pressed against my shoulder and I stopped instinctually. Matsudaira stepped in front of me with a serious expression on his face that contradicted all of the expressions I'd ever seen on his face. His mouth was fixed into a frown. "You will honour our agreement, won't you, Hotaru-chan?"

The way he said it was much different than I expected of him. The moment of surprise, however, passed before irritation took its place. "Are you saying I am not a woman of my word, Matsudaira?"

"Nope!" he popped the 'p' before another smile took over the majority of his face. "Next week, Hotaru-chan!" He chirped brightly. "Don't worry, you don't have to look for me. _I'll _look for _you_."

"_Great_."

I stepped around him and began my trek back, ignoring the shouts of farewell from behind me. I reached for my phone in my bag, wondering if it was really worth it to call my driver when Ruka's car was somewhere in the school parking lot. The confrontation with Matsudaira had taken far longer than I'd anticipated and if Mikan really was going to this party, extraordinary measures must be taken.

I needed to discuss this with Natsume.

"Hotaru…"

It took a moment for Ruka to appear at my elbow, but instead of falling into step beside me, he brushed his hand against my elbow.

The contact made me freeze.

It was barely a brush of his hand, but it commanded my attention. My eyes flashed to his face and his eyes were burning with something that wasn't quite anger but wasn't romantic, familiar Ruka either.

I stopped, slightly alarmed. "What?"

"You're so cold, Hotaru."

His eyes burned.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "That line's getting a little old, Nogi."

"That doesn't make it any less true," Ruka returned in a low voice. "I'm your boyfriend, and yet, sometimes you don't even treat me any different than you would a stranger."

A hot flash of white curled in my belly but I kept my voice neutral. "Your jealousy is grating on my last nerve. If you want to throw your tantrum, do it somewhere else. If you want somebody to treat you extra special, I'm sure you won't have a problem finding a willing participant on campus. I have a plan to hatch. I don't have time to cater to you."

The last word made him close his eyes in resignation. I waited a beat to see if he would respond, but he didn't. I contemplated leaving him alone but a moody Ruka was not a problem I wanted to tack onto the long list of matters to be dealt with. This was better solved now than later.

I looked around to see empty terrain all around us.

"Ruka." His eyes flashed wide at the use of his first name. I swallowed. "You don't have to be jealous." I didn't give him a second to think when I pulled him down by his collar and pressed my lips easily to his. It lasted but a second. I still felt paranoid somebody could see. I caught the light flush on his cheeks and quickly let go of his shirt before I smoothed out my skirt. "Now stop being a girl."

The smile on his lips was shy, but appeased. Vaguely I wondered how long that would last.

It wasn't until we were in his building that it appeared to strike him once more. "So are you excited for this date of yours?" His displeasure was poorly concealed by his nonchalance.

I rolled my eyes and waited for him to punch in the number of his floor, listening as the door pinged shut. When it did, I turned to look at him sternly. "It isn't a date. I believe we came to an agreement on this issue, Nogi. If you're hoping to get me to kiss you in public again, you'll be sorely disappointed."

When he responded with a smile, I turned with exasperation running through my veins. He was such a child.

The door pinged open on his floor and we walked down the hall to his door. "I thought we agreed you wouldn't be such a girl about the issue," I commented blandly as he searched for his keys.

He laughed with disbelief. "We didn't agree on anything. You just decided I'd be fine with it." I took the keys from his hands and threw open the door to stop him from taking his sweet time. As I walked into the apartment, Ruka blurted out: "I can't believe you agreed to go on a date with him. He called you _Cool Blue Sky _twice in the span of a minute!"

_Ugh_.

He really didn't need to remind me.

Stopping in front of my cousin, I held the invitation up in front of his eyes and watched as recognition dawned on him. He took it smoothly from my hands and let his eyes rake over the front. I watched as a frown settled between his eyebrows and mouth. "Imai, where'd you get this?"

"It doesn't matter." I moved to sit on the couch and watched as he flipped through the invitation with eyes taking in every little detail, committing it all to memory like it was going to disappear in a second. "We need to take the necessary precautions. I can forge copies with our names on them at Imai-Tech. We'll need them if the situation plays out the way I imagine it will."

"Predicting the future, Imai?" Yome grinned from across the room. "I thought that was Yura's gift."

A frisson of unease shook my fingers at Yura's reminder.

_You must be very careful._

I swallowed tightly. "You know Shouda better than I do. There's a party being thrown by a popular boy and she's invited," I regarded him dryly. "Factor Mikan's ability to make the worst decisions possible and only an idiot wouldn't notice disaster lying in wait." I looked back to Natsume to see him sitting on one of the kitchen chairs with a thoughtful frown on his face and his eyes still trained on the invitation.

The decision wasn't a difficult one.

I wondered why he looked as if he had a choice. "It isn't going to disappear right from under your nose," I told him. "Stupid, on the other hand, is entirely capable of getting herself in bad situations with that nosy curiosity of hers. Now is not the time for your faux-philosophical ponderings."

"I second the motion!" Yome crowed, leaping off his seat with light feet. "It's a time for action. I volunteer going with Sumire and Mikan to the party!" The rest of us turned to look at him, but Yome shrugged modestly as if he was taking the most undesirable role. "I can take one for the team. You know, do all the dirty work. No need to thank me."

His motives were transparent.

Natsume didn't falter when he stood from his seat and started pacing. "No, you'd be a dead giveaway. We won't need to go inside the bastard's house unless she needs us."

"They," Yome piped up.

Natsume barely blinked. "Imai and I sure as hell can't go into that house and everyone knows you two are with us." His frown deepened as he paused in his steps. "We need someone else. Just someone to look after her. She might not even need us. She's not that much of an idiot. Maybe she can take care of herself."

Watching him pace was almost pathetic. "That's very unlikely," I spoke up slowly, watching as red eyes flashed darkly to meet mine. "She's a hazard. Though I agree that we only need someone to watch over her, we're going to need to take the necessary precautions in the event that something goes wrong. We won't know if something goes wrong unless one of us goes or we get someone wired."

There was a thunderous noise that followed and I watched as Natsume pulled his fist away from the counter long enough to rake a hand through his hair. "She does this to piss me off," his conclusion was irrational. "The moment I get my hands on her, I'm going to—"

"Kiss her?" Yome was all smiles. Before Natsume could react, he put his hands up in surrender. "I could wear a disguise," Yome offered lazily, draping himself over the arm of the other couch and falling unceremoniously on the cushion. "It could be fun. Mom's company's got a ton of things we could use. Then you could wire me."

The chorus of 'no' made him put his hands up again.

"Hotaru is right. Time isn't exactly on our side. We just need somebody that she trusts. Someone that's already going who wouldn't mind keeping an eye on her for us," Ruka said offhandedly, taking the seat beside me.

An image flashed from behind my eyelids and I turned to Hyuuga instinctively just as his eyes flashed to mine. "I think we all know just the one."

Yome blinked at me. "Who?"

"Nendo."

-;-

"Nogi," my words were a hiss as I pressed the make-shift button against the closest shirt in the store, "—get _over _it. You're being far more annoying than normal. I'd rather you go sulk to Hyuuga than tell me again and again how unfair you think the world is."

"I don't think the world's unfair," he muttered defensively from his perch hovering over my shoulder. "I'm merely remarking on the fact that the odds of life playing in my favor are slim."

Another flash of annoyance struck my spine.

I moved to the next rack without looking at him. "You think you're being funny, but the only one laughing is the annoying voice in your head."

He chuckled and I could feel his warmth before his breath tickled the skin of my neck. "That microphone isn't going to match any of the buttons on these shirts," he told me dryly. "Why don't we just get someone to make buttons just like this one and we can get one of the stores Mom loves to fix us a shirt?"

I fought the urge to spell out my annoyance but knowing Ruka, he could probably tell. He probably liked it too. Vaguely, I wondered why I hadn't thought of his suggestion and opted to waste three fourths of an hour trying to find a shirt that would match the prototype spy-mic.

I straightened and turned to him, annoyed. "If you're offering, then we're wasting our time here."

His lips widened into a bright smile. "I'm contributing to the plan?"

I ignored him and turned promptly to get out of the store. "Who do you know that could possibly make _buttons_ that look identical to these in the span of a day? These are one of a kind. Nobody's made these yet, especially without the same consistency as Imai-Tech's materials."

"Why do we even care about how similar the buttons look? Won't it be dark at this party? Nobody's going to notice and the majority of the people there will probably be intoxicated in _some _way. Who cares?" Before I could respond, Ruka laughed and tried to hold my hand to no avail. "Oh, never mind," his blue eyes were laughing, "I forgot I was talking to the perfectionist for a moment."

I kept my eyes forward and walked swiftly down the sidewalk. "Don't be patronizing. There is nothing wrong with liking consistency and we can't afford to be lax with these kinds of details."

"This keeps sounding more and more like a mission," Ruka told me offhandedly as we made our way to his car. "Look, I know a friend that might be able to help us. They probably won't have Imai-Tech engraved on the back like that button does," his tone was amused, "—but she'll give us the next best thing."

I exhaled when he pulled my door open as if it was second nature and shook my head. "You should never settle for second best, Nogi."

Before I could duck into the car, his hand was cupping my cheek and he was pressing his soft lips to mine. Stunned, I blinked when he pulled back in time to see the triumph in his eyes. "I know how good the best can be." There was a grin in his voice. "I got you, didn't I?"

_What in—_

I pushed him away from the door and closed it myself.

_Idiot._

-;-

We needed a car.

After working out the different scenarios throughout the night, the only aspect that was missing was the means to bring all of the equipment to the party. Despite mother's inventions being top-of-the-line and state-of-the-art, the number of equipment we needed was still substantial. Even a car wouldn't be enough. We needed something bigger, but inconspicuous.

We needed to be parked on the property.

Though the microphones worked well enough for transmissions to be heard from an extraordinary distance, it would be useless if we weren't close enough to infiltrate the mansion within minutes if circumstances went south. That meant we needed a vehicle big enough to transport the equipment without having it stick out like a sore thumb. There was also the luxurious factor. Just imagining being crammed into seats between Hyuuga and Yome was enough to make me shudder.

God forbid.

No, we would most definitely require a large car.

"Hotaru?" I tried not to sigh at Ruka's voice. It was tinged with concern and muffled through the door. "Can I come in?" After a begrudging response, he pulled the door open and stepped carefully into the room. He pulled the door closed behind him before his voice dropped low. His eyes shone with curiosity. "Why are you accosting the shirt?"

"I'm accosting nothing." Automatically, my hands stopped gripping the fabric and I turned back to my desk to smooth out the silk shirt, being careful not to jar the buttons that had been meticulously sewn onto it to match the spy-mic attached to the shirt's collar. "Your acquaintance did a poor job crafting these buttons." I slid my hands away from the shirt and clasped them in my lap. My eyes never strayed from their imperfections. "Two of them aren't aligned correctly and they are noticeably two shades lighter than the spy-mic. If this mission ends up backfiring on us, I'm holding you personally responsible."

"Because the buttons aren't as perfect as you want them to be?" Ruka laughed almost condescendingly. He leaned over my shoulder to peer at the shirt and I held perfectly still, resisting the urge to move away from him to re-establish the required distance between myself and others. Vaguely I wondered if he was aware there was a required space. Then I wondered whether he would knowingly trespass it just to irritate me.

"Perfection is what we must all strive for," was my stiff response. "Your acquaintance wouldn't know perfection if it stabbed her in the eye."

Ruka turned his head and grinned wryly. He was so close; I could see the perfect blue of his eyes. Ruka wasn't perfect, but his eyes most definitely were. They were as dark as the blue of vibrant peacock feathers and clear enough to see ever-so-faint golden brown freckles in his eyes.

I didn't like him so close.

The grin faded slightly before he moved to press quick lips against my temple. "Someone's stressed," he commented gently.

I moved away, disgruntled, before standing up. Briskly, I folded the shirt and placed it and the mic-earring in its paper bag. "You're early."

I could feel Ruka's non-verbal shrug. "Only by a bit. I figured it was better to be early than late. If I've learnt anything, it's that you tend to be ready earlier than you say you will be." He reached for my arm but I flashed him a look that appeared feral enough for him to retract it. He blinked before sliding one hand into his jeans. "Look, I know you're stressed, but Hotaru, there's no use worrying until we have reason to."

At his words, I could feel the dull throb at the back of my head renew its drumming.

He had a point, but there was no use telling me not to worry. It was uncontrollable, this feeling. Ever since Mikan accepted his invitation, Yura's premonition kept haunting me from the date of my birthday celebration.

_You speak of the source of autumn, Mikan-san. His name betrays his motives. You must be one with humanity. You must know humanity in order to destroy it. That is the fall of humankind._

It hadn't taken Natsume, Mikan nor I very long to understand the meaning of Yura's flighty words. _Akimoto Hitoshi. Akimoto_ roughly translated to the origin of autumn whereas the characters for _Hitoshi_ were reminiscent of the ones used for 'humankind'. Even just knowing Mikan for a few months, it didn't take a genius to know she would take her role in Yura's prediction to heart. She always wanted to save the world, be the heroine in her own best-seller like those narratives she loved to read.

With situations playing out as they were, the worst scenarios kept haunting me in my dreams and even in my waking hours.

Ruka thought I looked stressed? He really had no idea.

So when he looked at me, in that earnest way of his, all I could do was shake my head and lead him out the door. Ruka asked me why I was in such a hurry. If we didn't leave now, Nendo might be conned into leaving before I could talk to him.

And I needed to talk to him.

-;-

By the time we pulled up to the smallest and most run-down dormitory in Alice Academy, Ruka had looked at me an average of five times in sixteen seconds. The constant back and forth of his eyes from the road to the passenger seat made me wonder how he hadn't gotten whiplash just yet. That and I was two seconds away from snapping at him in annoyance.

"Hotaru—" He started as I reached for the door.

"Stay here," I told him stiffly, barely turning to glimpse the worry in his eyes. I meant to leave it at that, but the nagging at the back of my mind made me turn to look him fully in the eyes. I exhaled slowly. "I'm fine."

"I can come with you," Ruka offered softly, already clicking his seatbelt off.

"I know you can." He froze at the edge to my voice. "I don't want you to."

He held my gaze for all of two seconds before he visibly wilted in his seat.

With that, I stepped out of the car and made my way into the building, silently reading off Nendo's room number. It was a wonder Nendo was living at the most run-down dormitory building when he was quite wealthy himself. I immediately attributed it to his late arrival to the school. Alice Academy was a prestigious boarding school and with the wealthy masses breeding as they were, it was no surprise that many were vying for a spot here for their children. They would take whatever they could get.

At 412, I inhaled softly before rapping at the door.

It opened almost immediately.

"Hotaru," Nendo's grin was toothy, his tone familiar. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up."

The offhand remark was offending.

"I'm early."

Nendo moved aside to usher me into his room before bowing with a flourish. "I've heard horror stories about you, Hotaru Imai. After Mikan, I've found it prudent not to believe everything I hear, but being cautious never failed me before." He straightened and closed the door, adopting a semi-serious expression on his face.

I looked around the small space critically. "Roommates?"

"Bachelor pad," Nendo's grin was lascivious and I was immediately suspicious. He folded his arms over his chest before leaning against the door. "You have a boyfriend, don't you, Hotaru? One that I'm rather attracted to, to boot." He looked me up and down and I bristled with annoyance. My irritation only heightened when he clucked his tongue. "I'm sorry, but it would never work out. You'd be the only one getting hurt at the end of it all. I think it best if we kept our relationship strictly platonic."

I almost gagged. The tight feeling in my chest remained even after my reply. "Nauseating jokes aside, I have your devices for tonight."

"Hand delivered by Hotaru Imai herself?" Nendo gasped with his hand to his chest. "This is such an honour!"

Why Mikan was friends with him, I couldn't understand. He was right on par with Matsudaira on the irritation scale.

I thrust the paper bag against his chest hard enough to hear his _oomph! _and I watched as he scrambled to get a hold of it before the bag could drop. "Take the box out," I ordered. When he did just that, I spoke again. "That's a spy-mic. I know you are partial to that earring you have in your ear, but tonight you'll wear this one. Do not damage it. That alone is worth the cost of lodging at the Hilton hotel for half a year in the master suite. In addition, your shirt should be at the bottom of the bag. I specified the colour to Nogi's mother's fashion advisor and believe it will be to your liking."

He pulled the shirt out and nodded at the colour before stopping dead for a moment. His eyes flashed up to meet mine. "What's up with the poor button job? How am I supposed to walk into a party with _mismatching _buttons? I am _Kaoru Nendo. _People _look up to me _to be their beacon of fashion. This just—"

_I knew people would notice._

Nogi was an idiot.

"If you have a problem with the mismatching buttons, I uttered my own displeasure but Nogi and the specialist assured me it was barely noticeable. They do not have an eye for detail," I grated darkly, interrupting his tirade. "As much as I would like to fire the specialist that was in charge of this shirt, she was not hired. Apparently she did this as a 'favour to the family'. Unfortunately, as the party is tonight, there is no time to remake the buttons. If I was in charge of the shirt, I would not be so inept."

When I was finished, it was to see Nendo with a wide smirk on his face. "Relax, Hotaru. I was just kidding. Well no, I wasn't. I would never wear such a thing myself, but considering the circumstances, this will have to do." He placed the shirt back into the bag before he looked up to raise an eyebrow in my direction. "So, Hotaru… you seem stressed."

I inhaled deeply. "I never told you to call me by my first name."

"I know," Nendo's reply was indifferent. "Like that would ever stop me."

I closed my eyes and wondered when on Earth I managed to become so transparent to everybody else.

Was I really that stressed?

Inhaling once more, I pressed my hands together and opened my eyes. "There is a matter I would like to discuss with you and it's a matter of great importance. I will stress that you not take this lightly." At his questioning glance, I spoke lowly. "I don't know what Hyuuga told you but the circumstances surrounding the Hyuuga family and Akimoto Hitoshi are very delicate. It is prudent that you do not let your mouth run. Your role in this situation is temporary; therefore, there is no need for you to dwell on what will happen today and what we are asking you to do. Your job is not to let Mikan out of your sight. She's a hazard to herself. If possible, keep Akimoto within your sight. That is of no consequence as long as you make certain to stick with Mikan, especially if Akimoto tries anything. As long as you are with her, she will not do anything to jeopardize you. If you lose her, just say so. We'll be able to hear everything you are saying and help will come immediately to your aid if you shall need it."

"Two seconds," Nendo put his hand up quickly. "I know you're worried, but I got it already. Koko told me all I needed to know and honestly? You don't have to explain anything to me. I knew that guy was up to no good the moment I looked at him. I have a good radar when it comes to sleazy weirdoes and Aki-schmoto is definitely a dirty sleaze." The more he talked about Akimoto, the more Nendo adopted a heated look of annoyance. He muttered a few more choice words to describe him before he pushed away from the door and clapped his hands. "Anyway, I'm always happy to help. Mikan's like an endearingly naïve pet rabbit I like to have around. I don't like my pets getting hurt."

Despite the disturbing visual, I believed him. I didn't know why but as he threw his old earring into the box and fitted the earring-mic into the newly vacated piercing, I was given the impression that he was earnest, not in the way that Ruka was, but earnest nonetheless.

If even just a little, I felt my worry ease.

There was a shrill, animated sound, much like a bubble popping that punctured the air that instantly made me freeze.

"Excuse me," Nendo sang, plucking his phone from his pocket and pressing the keys with the fluid motions of an expert. "It's Mikan. They want my fashion advice. _Of course_," he rolled his eyes before sliding his screen back down. "Well this was fun," his voice was airy. "But my people are waiting. You understand."

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Remember, look—"

"—after Mikan." I bristled at the interruption, but Nendo merely placed the bag on the side table by the door and grinned. "I know, I know. You don't have to worry. I'll have it all under control. Nobody can resist this charm and I will not let little Mikan Sakura out of my sight!" He widened his eyes in the pretense of asking if I was finished.

I brushed past him to get to the door. Before I could step over the threshold, Nendo stopped me by calling my name.

Turning, it was to see him fiddling with the earring-mic with a diva-esque frown on his face. "Does this earring make my earlobe look huge? Be honest."

I closed the door in his face.

-;-

By the time Ruka and I walked into his dormitory, there was just over two hours left before the party and we had a hundred other things to do. None of which included Hyuuga speaking candidly to the other Hyuuga in the living room with the soccer game on.

The moment I stepped into the room, both Hyuugas turned to look at me.

Tsubasa grinned half-heartedly. "Hey, little cousin."

The glare came easily. "Don't be disgusting. What are you doing here?" My eyes trailed to Natsume before he could answer. "Hyuuga, I would appreciate it if you would consult me before you make rash decisions pertaining to our operation."

"Someone's stressed," I heard for the umpteenth time. Tsubasa stood up from the couch and began walking toward the kitchen. "Hotaru, can I talk to you for a second?"

I wanted to refuse but there was something in his eyes that made the rejection still in my throat. Wordlessly, Ruka made his way over to take Tsubasa's seat and begrudgingly, I entered the kitchen.

Tsubasa was leaning against the counter with his elbows supporting his weight.

His blue eyes were dark with concern.

I asked him what he wanted to say that would require the absence of the other two and watched as he adopted the sternest expression I'd ever seen on his face. "Lay off of Natsume a bit, all right?" He murmured seriously, keeping his voice low. "I'm glad Natsume included me. He wasn't planning on it, but I knew something was wrong and it didn't take him long to—" Tsubasa paused and shifted to free one hand long enough to rub at his jaw. "Look, Hotaru, Natsume never asks for help. Chances are you and the others found out about Natsume's plans for justice on your own and wanted in on it. I get it, I do. I'm not exactly the most reliable one which is why I never expected him to come to me. Natsume's always treated me as if I was an idiot, constantly calling me 'shadow bastard' – whatever that means – and ignoring me. He always has everything under control, knows exactly how to play his cards and never asks for help, never looks like he needs it. Don't give him a hard time when he's finally given himself a break."

I bristled but Tsubasa merely continued, unhurried. "This is the first time I've ever seen Natsume acknowledge that he doesn't have everything under control. It's the first time he's ever admitted to being human. Don't take that away from him. You may not be happy having me come along, but nobody's ever seen me play the big brother role right, even me. Who knows, I may even be good at it."

Briefly, I wondered what he expected me to say to that. It was touching in its own right, but I wasn't appeased in the least. He wanted to prove he could be a good big brother _now_? The Hyuugas were going drive me into an asylum with their martyr-esque logic and poor timing.

I told him so in so many words.

"Natsume's the only martyr in our family. Everybody else tries to throw the blame and responsibility on anyone but themselves."

My phone rang from the living room.

I moved my gaze to his long enough to make him shift from underneath my scrutiny. "Well I don't have much of a choice, do I? If you're coming with us, it would do you well not to get in my way. Or touch anything. I suppose you could be of some use. Somebody will need to restrain your brother when he's finally lost his marbles."

I heard Tsubasa's soft chuckle but my eyes flashed to the doorway where Ruka appeared at the entrance to the kitchen with my phone in hand. Yome's name flashed from the screen of my phone. I picked up immediately. "Did you get a vehicle?" I snapped without preamble, moving to the living room.

_"Hello to you too, Number Two! And yes. Yes, I did. I'm parked outside right now! Over."_

"To whom does the car belong?"

Something rustled from the other end of the phone. _"Don't worry about it! They're not under Mom's or Dad's names so that's all that matters, right? Over!"_

"There are a number of factors that _matter, _Yome, including whether or not you obtained this vehicle through legal means."

_"I am a respectable Japanese citizen so any accusations about illegal activity are not appreciated, thank you very much!" _He dropped the haughty tone as his excitement seeped through. _"Okay, I was going to threaten Kitsuneme or Mochu to get me a car under an alias, you know, because that's awesome, but then I remembered you told me we'd get into deep shit if anything could be traced back to us so I thought about it—" _This couldn't be good. _"I thought we could buy a used car or something. You know, the ones at used car dealerships_." I was going to kill him. _"Apparently they've got these really big white vans coming in all the time to be thrown into the scrapyard so we could even get it for cheap! You know, those white vans everyone immediately associates with pedophiles and kidnappers?"_

I was grinding my teeth at this point. "You'd better bypass this nonsense and tell me how you didn't buy a used _kidnapper _vehicle soon or so help you, I am going to tear you apart with pieces of dental floss," I hissed into the phone, ignoring three pairs of eyes now looking in my direction. I walked to the door and wordlessly signalled them to follow.

_"Rude!" _Yome chirped in an obscenely bright tone. _"As I was saying, I thought about it, long and hard, and I decided not to, because I remembered you said it'd better be nice because you didn't want to sit beside me or Natsume or whatever and knowing you, you'd probably want some chef to be in the car too so that you could get snacks. Anyway, after that, I came up with a few more ideas but judging by how hard you're hissing into the phone—unless that's your breathing—you don't want to hear about it. Anyway! I got Kaoru to order it for me under his uncle's name! Smart huh? Over!"_

I walked briskly to the front doors. "You do realize you're an idiot, don't you?" The question left no room for pleasantries. "You're an idiot because Nendo is already taking Mikan and Shouda in a different car. You're an idiot because it's suspicious for one man to bring two different cars to a party. You're an idiot because you—"

_"If you say it so many times, I might just believe it. But ha! Here's where you're wrong! They're taking Permy's car. I remember her telling me so and plus, I asked him. It might help to add that his uncle doesn't have the same last name as he does."_

I could hear the grin in his voice.

When I pushed the doors open, I let out a quick exhale. "Nice choice," I remarked dryly as I caught sight of the large black limousine. "You're still an idiot."

_"Hey!"_

I hung up when I heard a ragged expletive from behind me.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Natsume hissed darkly as he walked by and stopped in front of a grinning Koko whose head was sticking out of the window. "You really have to be fucking kidding me. Do you not understand the word _discreet_ and _inconspicuous_? We're not taking this car. For one, nobody knows how to drive the damn thing and we sure as hell aren't getting one of our drivers to take us in _this_."

"I could drive us," Tsubasa piped in from behind us. He shrugged when I flashed a look in his direction. "I've had my permit for years. I can drive anything. It'll be easy."

"Says the guy with a dozen driving offences under his name," Natsume shot back acerbically. He was shouting expletives in his head, judging by his pacing and the look of aggravation on his face. If circumstances weren't as they were, I might have thought it amusing. No, despite the circumstances, I still found it amusing and more than just a little pathetic.

I looked away from him to scrutinize the wide-eyed look on Yome's face.

"He merely has to drive to Akimoto's. We aren't going on high-speed chases or jumping bridges. Having Tsubasa drive should be acceptable."

I looked from Hyuuga to Hyuuga. Tsubasa had a small grin on his face.

I narrowed my eyes. "That said, if you kill me, I will haunt all of your dreams, your waking hours and even your family."

Tsubasa shrugged. "I'm not _that _fond of my family. Plus, it'll be _your _family too."

I wasn't fazed. "I'm not fond of anybody so you're all out of luck." With that, I tapped once on the window. When Yome didn't open the door, I leveled him with an icy glare. "Get out." He scrambled out of the car and with the door wide open, I ducked into the vehicle. "We must be at Imai-Tech within the next fifteen minutes or there will be hell to pay. Tsubasa, you're driving. Natsume—" It was strange saying his name. "Stop pouting like a child and get in the car."

The driver climbed out and Tsubasa handed him some money.

They all clambered into the car except Natsume.

"Nobody is going to be taking a limo to his party," Natsume's voice was tense with fury. "There's also the problem with parking. If he's planning something at this party, there's going to be security on the property. With the equipment we're planning to take, there's bound to be a disturbance. There are a hundred problems with this," he slapped his palm against the roof of the vehicle, "—alone. How the hell do you expect us to accomplish this when being over-the-top already puts us on the radar?"

I looked at him, unimpressed. "For one, girls always take parties like this far too seriously to begin with. I doubt we'll be the only ones taking a limo."

"She's right. There were tons of limos at the school dance," Ruka nodded his agreement, moving to gesture at the open seat beside him. "We'll talk on the way to Imai-Tech."

Natsume rolled his eyes and muttered something involving Ruka being _'whipped' _before he climbed into the car. Tsubasa started the engine and peeled out of the dormitory parking lot. After making certain Tsubasa was driving in the correct lane, I turned away from the window and gazed into angry, crimson eyes once more. "Secondly," I continued, "—not only does this limo have enough room for the equipment we have to bring, but it also blends into the environment. A sports car or anything equally small might be more to your liking, but the equipment alone for our surveillance wouldn't fit into something so small. This works out just fine."

Natsume remained silent for a long moment, eyes staring emotionlessly in my direction and his posture as stiff as stone. He appeared to be calculating and it was far more familiar of him than the pathetically emotional version I'd seen a mere ten minutes ago. "Just how much equipment are we bringing, Imai?" his tone was even.

I leveled him with my own stony stare. "Enough and nothing more."

We pulled up to the front of mother's building at that moment and I immediately instructed Tsubasa to drive to the back of the building to one of the back storage rooms. As expected, there were three men ready and waiting. I stepped out of the car and they were instantly moving. The large garage door was opening and one man met me halfway, middle age but sturdy.

"We have everything you've asked for, Ms. Imai."

I raised an eyebrow. "Everything?"

"Everything."

He was unwavering in his confidence and I immediately approved.

_"You'll be taking over the family business in the future, Hotaru. You're going to have to take responsibility and I have no doubt that you will take the utmost care of these while they are in your care."_

I watched as the two others hauled a set of speakers toward the car. Yome jumped out to open the door and they climbed in before climbing back out seconds later. "Did mother say anything to you?" I asked as they made another trip with more equipment.

The response was immediate. "She wishes to remind you that you will be held personally responsible for any damaged equipment," the man responded evenly. There was a pause before he added: "She also expressed her wish that you enjoy your evening with your friends with the reminder to stay vigilant."

_Ah._

"What is your name?" I didn't turn to look at him, nor did he shift from my side.

I appreciated his reliability.

"Takumi Satou, Ms. Imai."

I didn't say another word and we watched as the last of the equipment was loaded into the limousine. I checked my watch. Just over an hour left before the party would begin, but knowing Shouda, they wouldn't leave for the party until later. Not only would it take approximately half an hour to drive from Imai-Tech to Akimoto's, but the assembly would require a bit of time as well. Considering Ruka and I had bypassed lunch, it was prudent that we pick up dinner on the way.

The idea of fast food made me nauseous.

"Will your men be assembling the equipment as well, Mr. Satou?"

"If you wish it," his response was swift.

The answer to the math was obvious. "No, I will see to the assembly myself. There is a manual, is there not?"

"There is."

"Please see to it that I receive the manual along with all of the necessary wiring. I would be very displeased to find missing puzzle pieces half an hour into my drive without the time to turn back and retrieve them."

"Of course." He gestured smoothly to the younger man ducking out of the limo and I watched critically as he walked swiftly in our direction. His eyes did not stray to me, nor did his voice waver when he addressed his senior. "Ms. Imai requires the manual for assembly. You will find one in copy file D."

The man nodded and set off.

I was suitably impressed with mother's staff. "You are a good employee, Mr. Satou," I told him. "I am very pleased."

"Thank you." Within the next moment, the manual was in my hands and Mr. Satou was flanked once again by his two associates. "Do you require anything else, Ms. Imai?"

"No, that will be all. Thank you for your hard work."

They bowed and I returned it slightly before making my way back to the car. The moment the door closed from behind me, Yome was on his feet in awe. "That's a lot of equipment, Imai," he whistled lowly. "How'd you manage to convince your mom to let us take this? This is probably worth more than me and my inheritance."

I almost snorted. "That's an exaggeration." Yome's cry of _still! _made me shake my head. "Just don't touch or damage anything. I'll break all your fingers, one by one."

Yome scrambled back into his seat and I immediately scrutinized all of the equipment. The placement of the different parts would make it easy to connect the wires. I'd overseen the wiring in the photos of the prototype and with the manual, there was no reason for it to be difficult. The wires were all placed in a plastic bag, sealed off at the end. It was a pleasant surprise to see that they had included a toolbox for my use. If taking over mother's company meant that I would have competent and reliable staff like this, well, that was one less concern.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

I flashed Yome a glare. "Do _you _realize who you're talking to?" His stomach growled before he could respond and the sound made me blink. A thought occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't the only one losing sleep and eating less due to this debacle.

Honestly, Stupid was an idiot.

"Nogi," I sighed, turning to look at him. "Order some food. We'll pick it up on the way."

"The party starts in fifty minutes," Natsume told me tonelessly.

I turned to him, unimpressed. "When it comes to people like Shouda and Nendo, the party starts about seventy minutes after the specified invitation time. You should talk about punctuality, Hyuuga. You tend to arrive ninety minutes late if you decide to arrive at all. We'll be fine. It will make blending in to the arriving fleet of cars much easier." I turned back to Ruka and saw that he had his smartphone out and ready. "Order what you want. I'll have what you're having."

"You're going to have a burger and fries?" Ruka asked, knowingly amused.

I narrowed my eyes. "Considering the circumstances, it is inappropriate to bring a five course meal of seafood. Make it a club sandwich and fries. That will have to do."

"Regular fries or curly fries?" Ruka was grinning knowingly.

His teasing only made me want to cause him pain.

I glared at him until he chuckled and turned his best friend. "Are you hungry, Natsume? I'm buying."

"Why aren't you asking me?" Yome whined.

I ignored them and set to work.

-;-

By the time we arrived to Akimoto's with burger wrappers and paper bags littering the floor of the limo, it was to be stuck in the driveway with a line of cars ahead and behind us. Tsubasa was whistling loudly from the driver's seat, Yome was peering out the window and Natsume had his eyes closed. Ruka was kneeling beside me as I fiddled with the last two wires. The manual lay forgotten on the ground as I worked directly from memory.

The chirp of Yome's phone made my eyes flicker.

His voice followed a moment after. "They're pulling up to the driveway." He was bouncing in his seat. "Hurry up, Imai! We might miss something important!"

"If you would stop distracting me with your childish antics, perhaps I could concentrate better."

He stopped bouncing and opted to stick his head over Tsubasa's shoulder. "Are you sure you can park this baby? If you break her, Kaoru might kill me."

_Good riddance._

Sliding the wire into place, there was barely a crackle before the limo was hit with an obnoxious teeny-bopper pop song accompanied by Shouda and Nendo's voices. I prayed to God they would park soon and turn that racket off. Ruka shuddered and twisted the volume button until it was a mere whisper in the background and by the time I brushed my knees off and sat on the velvety seats, we were parking.

Ruka settled down beside me after turning up the volume and Tsubasa climbed out and into the back of the limo to grab at his paper bag of fast food. We all listened intently as Nendo made extravagant comments here and there. It wasn't until Mikan's voice chimed in, muffled in the background, that Natsume straightened up and leaned forward, his eyes were staring intently at the display of equipment.

My eyes drifted to the red blinking lights on the black screen that indicated the mics on Kaoru were being recorded.

When Mikan's uncertain voice murmured: "I don't know how to dance," I could have sworn Natsume closed his eyes.

The way she made him react was almost unbelievable.

I hadn't grown up with Natsume. We hadn't been neighbours during our childhood. We didn't go on adventures together like other cousins would. In all honesty, mother was different from her sisters. Our aunts were lively in their friendships, but mother was ambitious, much like me. They spoke on the phone regularly, perhaps weekly. Mother spoke frequently with Natsume's father, my uncle. They had similar work ethics and collaborated many times over the course of the years. Besides this interaction, I heard little from the Hyuugas unless there was a family dinner and even then, those weren't a guarantee. Either Natsume wouldn't deign the dinner important enough to attend or I wouldn't. Mother never gave me a hard time for preferring to tinker with the equipment at Imai-Tech and I would rather not submit myself to the oppressive presence of the extended Hyuuga family.

I saw them an average of three times a year.

Every time I saw him was no more special than the last. We spoke when spoken to, ate when dinner was served and left at the earliest convenience. He and I were similar in that way. Family gatherings weren't on my list of priorities and I suspected being around his family made Natsume hyper aware of the absence of his father. They always brought up the only Hyuuga son of that generation during dinner and being the extraordinary man he was, any topic could be traced back to him.

Most of the time, I was tired of hearing about him. Rarely, I found myself fascinated with the stories.

Natsume's father really had been a remarkable man.

Predictably, after his father died, Natsume appeared almost obsessed with becoming his father. His presence was domineering in its own way, but he lacked the passion. He was determined and driven, but almost half-hearted. Though the public could immediately associate him with the word _successful_, I didn't believe it to be true. He appeared to want his father's success, but not. It was a paradox. Natsume was a paradox. Truthfully, it was one I never bothered to understand.

I knew one thing about Natsume Hyuuga and it was that he was lifeless with the mighty façade of a respectable, successful, _perfect_ man.

He fooled many, but he never fooled me.

I would never pretend to know the many faces of this Hyuuga. He could be arrogant, witty, smooth and immovable. He was always well-composed, firm, and reliable, much like Mr. Satou.

Imagine my surprise when I realized he could be petulant, irrational and openly pathetic as well. Mikan did that to him. As degrading as it appeared, he was perfectly fine with this. I thought there was a mutual understanding between us; we had a mutual need for control and before Mikan, I believed the both of us were masters of our own worlds, capable of manipulating situations to our liking, capable of having people eat from the palm of our hands.

When it came to Mikan, though, Natsume was lost.

One could argue that it was a good thing. I wasn't so certain. What did one consider to be good? Could anybody be truly happy with uncertainty?

"Hotaru?" I blinked and felt Ruka shift from his seat beside me. "What are you thinking about?"

What was I thinking about? Everything and nothing, anything. It was ridiculous.

I didn't bother looking at him and I didn't have to respond.

Akimoto's voice had finally appeared.

I watched Natsume's reaction to it and wasn't disappointed. His knuckles were white and his fists were clenched. He was at the edge of his seat and his eyes were fixated on the speakers. How did it feel, to like someone this much? I'd told Ruka I loved him, but did I love him? At the time, I thought I was certain, but seeing this abandon in Natsume made me wonder if I really knew. How did one really know?

Natsume was willing to give up total control, to follow her to endless destinations. I knew it by just looking at him.

Could I do that for Ruka?

He would never put me in that kind of position. Of that, I was certain, but what did that mean? I was certain, at this point, that I would never put Ruka before my aspirations, my dreams. He would never fault me for it and I wouldn't feel guilty for long. Did that mean I didn't love him?

I shook off the question and focused on the words seeping through the speakers.

_"I'm the designated driver, remember? I can't drink spiked shit but you can go on ahead." _There was a chuckle and I watched as Natsume shifted from my peripherals_. "Don't tell me you didn't know? Go ahead. I'll take care of you."_

"He's not supposed to encourage this type of behaviour," Natsume said to no one.

As if she heard him, Mikan responded with: _"I think it would be best to have all my wits about me here." _

He blew out a tight breath and would have paced if he could stand up straight. I could almost see him radiating electricity from his frustration. Their voices were drowned out by bouts of foreign laughter and pounding music. It became apparent after a dozen more minutes that Nendo was keeping to his word. Mikan's laughter frequently punctuated the empty space of the limousine followed or preceded by Shouda's laughter.

I almost felt relieved.

"This is good right?" Ruka said softly, turning to face me. "She sounds like she's going to be okay."

He seemed to echo my thoughts exactly and I allowed a small nod of agreement. "The night is still young. There is still plenty of room for error."

"You can't think like that, Hotaru. You can't constantly expect failure or disappointment," he told me quietly, speaking as if to answer my previous thoughts. "How would we enjoy life at all if we never stopped for a moment to see how beautiful it is?"

I shrugged the arm he had on my elbow. "You're starting to sound like a cheesy romance novel, Nogi. Cut it out."

He sighed heavily before resting his hands on his legs. "I don't want you to doubt anything, me or yourself. I like seeing you happy."

I stilled, frozen stiff by his words. It lasted but a second, but I could feel the extra jump in my heartbeat despite going through normal motions. "You think you can make me happy?" my voice was dry, just like my throat. "You're being presumptuous."

He looked me in the eye and the intensity of blue made me blink. "That's up to you, isn't it? But I'd like to try. You make me happy for reasons I can't understand." He shrugged, helpless. "I can only hope I make you feel the same. I wouldn't want to take advantage of you."

I bristled, immediately offended. "You think _you're _taking advantage of _me_?"

Ruka blinked, surprised. It took him a second to respond, but it was a second too long. I was strung up from stress and exhaustion and patience was impossible. Finally, he sighed. "I can't say I ever really know what you're thinking, but I can tell you're always really annoyed with me. Considering there's a possibility that I'm the only one happy in this relationship, then yes. I might be taking advantage of the fact that you're with me. Are you getting something from our relationship that I'm not aware of?"

I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he believed he was taking advantage of me. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. If anything, I was the one taking advantage of _him. _He was just too stupid to see it. For some reason, though, I couldn't come up with a single way this was so.

I rubbed my temple gingerly. "We are not talking about this here or now. You really have the best timing for these discussions, don't you?"

Yome shushed me—_me—_and it was then that I noticed Natsume was on the edge of his seat and Tsubasa was frowning at the speakers beside his brother. I turned to the speakers myself and could only hear Nendo's sultry voice coming from the speakers talking about _having beautiful hair_ or something equally inconsequential.

I frowned.

"She went to the bathroom," Tsubasa explained quickly, looking at his brother from the corner of his eyes. "Obviously the guy you recruited didn't get the memo."

This time, I shushed Tsubasa and we listened, rapt, until it became obvious that Nendo would much rather be the one making Amane giggle. I snapped my eyes to Natsume when he cursed low under his breath and reached for the invites lying on top of one of the speakers. "You can never trust a fucking person to do a job right unless you plan to do it yourself," he thundered darkly, flipping through the pile until he found his. I signalled to Tsubasa who immediately grabbed Natsume's arm the moment his hand was on the handle.

"Give it a moment, Natsume."

The look he shot his brother was almost feral. "If you're not going to help me, then don't you dare fucking stop me."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that," Tsubasa said firmly. "And I never said I wasn't going to help you." He reached for the pile of invites tossed carelessly to the floor and I watched with sheer disbelief and annoyance when he tossed Yome an invite with one in his own fist. "We'll go together, but only after it's clear she's in trouble."

_"Shit!" _Nendo's voice echoed around the walls of the limo. _"Where_'_s Mikan?" _There was a muffled giggle and a few words that were indistinguishable but it wasn't long before he was murmuring quietly to himself: _"Don_'_t worry. I_'_ll find her. She went with Misaki?" _There was a moment's pause before he breathed out a sigh of relief. "_Misaki, wasn_'_t Mikan with you?"_

The response was a garbled version of _"Yeah, but she went first and I couldn't find her when I came out. She didn't wait for me. The bitch."_ She laughed, but Nendo merely cursed once more. _"Thanks."_

"For nothing," Yome muttered for the rest of us.

There was the distinct sound of rustling clothes and loud music and the thrum of Nendo's breathing. I wanted to hate him, and I did in that moment when he let her out of his sight, but a small, nagging part in my mind could tell it wasn't intentional and he was trying. He would have to pray to the heavens he found her safe or I wouldn't be the only one vying to tear him apart.

"Isn't this reason enough to go?" Natsume demanded heatedly. "She's missing. They can't find her. Anything could happen."

_"There you are, handful of trouble,"_ Nendo muttered lowly. I held my breath until he said six words that made me wilt from the inside. _"Calm down, Mikan. It_'_s just me. __What do you think you're doing up here? Didn't you hear that prick say upstairs was off limits?_"

Natsume dropped back into his seat and exhaled a ragged breath that could have moved mountains. From the corner of my eye, I watched as he rubbed a hand down his face, a telltale sign of stress and irritation.

Ruka reached over to squeeze my hand and I closed my eyes, listening faintly as Mikan's voice, alive and well, followed immediately with an accusation. I almost laughed due to her absurdity. Yome actually did.

I admitted I believed the worst to be over, and it appeared the others followed suit, because when _his _voice trickled over the speakers, in a menacing voice that left no room for questioning, it hit me with shock.

The music was a mere drumming in the background. Their voices were crystal clear.

Mikan's voice was a whimper. _"Let go of my neck."_

At that, Natsume looked ready for motion.

I stopped him with steel in my voice. "You're acting like her, _rashly. _Give it time. Nendo might be able to handle the situation just fine."

"We don't _have _time," Natsume seethed fire. "You're so ready to sit there and not get your hands dirty. That's fine by me. I'll do it."

"Hyuuga—"

_"Listen," _Kaoru tried to reason, _"You don't want to hurt Mikan—"_

One of the blinking red lights went out and coupled with Mikan's sharp gasp and Natsume was out of his seat once again. Mikan's trembling voice, almost pained, didn't help matters as she murmured how much she hated the bastard.

The tight feeling in my chest increased when I spoke my next words. "If you move a muscle, I will shove a fork down your throat before you can say 'uncle'. Think with your head for one second and you'll realize the media will have a field day with this. If the media found out the Hyuugas were part of this, Grandmother would have a fucking coronary. If we wanted this to be full blown, the Hyuugas would have blown the story open right when we found out about what happened to Aoi but that's not what we want. So sit down."

Natsume's voice was eerily quiet. "Mikan is in danger, in the hands of a psychopath, and all you can think about is how this will look to the family name?" His voice rose a decibel, but it was the calm before the storm. "Mikan's scared shitless. I don't need your help. I can save her myself."

"Move a fucking muscle," I hissed lethally, saying it like a dare. "I didn't say anything about not helping. We've already done our part. Your role stops here, Hyuuga. There are no moves for us apart from these." He opened his mouth, probably to spit the friendly words he had in his head, but I looked to Ruka instead. "Yome and Ruka can handle it. They're not part of the Hyuuga clan."

_"I'm trying to figure out what to do with you…if you weren't so nosy, I would never have to worry about this, but as it is, you had to befriend Hyuuga and you had to stick your pretty little head where it doesn't belong and now we have a little problem in our hands."_

Mikan's voice was still just a tremble. _"You didn't have to knock him out, you know. He doesn't even know anything about what you do. He wasn't supposed to be a part of this. You didn't have to drag him into this."_

Natsume rounded on me after that. "Why does that matter? Nendo is _knocked out _and a psycho is holding her hostage. The family name should be the least of your concerns."

Yome was already out of the car with a reassuring, half-grin on his face. "Don't worry, Natsume. Ruka and I have this covered!"

Before Ruka could move from beside me, I put a hand on his arm to stop him. The command came unbidden before my mind could catch up to it. "Bring her back alive."

Ruka merely grinned. "Was there ever a doubt?"

With that, they were gone.

The car was eerily silent without Yome's jittery left leg and Ruka's reliable presence at my side. It took a moment for me to realize I'd forgotten to tell him to bring himself back alive. A part of me believed I was overreacting. Though Akimoto certainly didn't have all of his marbles, he had enough to know that assault or murder of any kind would be detrimental to him. I relied on that fact and listened raptly to Mikan's conversation with him.

It was fascinating to hear him speak about his unhappiness, about his jealousy. To hear him speak candidly about her effect on Natsume made me sneak a glance at his reaction. His eyes never wavered from the speakers as the frown between his eyes deepened and the restlessness in his entire body made him almost thrum.

_"What are you going to do with me?" _Her voice was stronger than was appropriate in the circumstances. "_You're not going to drug me—there wouldn't be a point to it. You're not going to kill me—things would just be more complicated for you. You're also not going to keep me here…you couldn't. It'll only be a matter of time before they find out Kaoru and I have been gone for a while and then they'll call Natsume and Hotaru and then you won't be kidding anyone…"_

We sat in silence, listening, before Akimoto said something that made me still. _"__I've finally got you all to myself. Don't tempt me from making it permanent."_

"You love her," Tsubasa blurted out suddenly, in awe. "I can't believe you're in love with her."

Natsume stiffened completely before his eyes flashed over to glare at his brother. "He just threatened to kill her and that's all you can say? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Do you know?" Tsubasa ignored his question to dole one of his own. "You must know. I can't believe you're in love with her. You. In love. With her."

"Shut up," Natsume muttered gruffly, eyes trained once again to the speakers. "You're not saying anything I don't already know."

The admission shocked me, but only for a moment. I never believed he would admit it so candidly as if it were a remark on the weather. But Tsubasa didn't say anymore and neither did I. There was silence on the other side, almost too quiet, but the rustling sound close to the mic made it apparent Mikan was still there. Akimoto's threat had not gone unnoticed and she had taken his advice and stayed silent.

_Smart girl._

We were still sitting in stony silence when there was a muffled sound from the speakers.

Akimoto's voice followed quickly. _"The room's occupied! Go away."_

The thunderous knocks continued, each knock causing the stutter and ache in my chest to increase. I fought the urge to press a hand to stop it and merely watched the lone, blinking red light still recording the scene. It was like a scene from a horror movie. Without the visual, all other senses were increased tenfold.

Akimoto's responses only intensified the sinking feeling in my chest.

_"You're not afraid? That makes this a little easier."_

Mikan uttered two last words before there was a thunderous sound from the speakers, the sound of a gunshot. The clatter of footsteps sounded and they echoed in my mind until I could hear Ruka's whispered moans of 'oh my god'. I was saying the same in my mind, eyes wide, heart hammering, hands clammy with dread. Had I just witnessed a death? This was a dream, wasn't it? Ruka's words echoed in my mind.

_Oh my god, oh my god._

_"You just killed Mikan,"_ Yome's voice was disbelieving. _"Ruka, he just killed Mikan!"_

It wasn't until Akimoto's voice drifted over the speakers in a mantra did the severity of the situation hit me hard enough to make me lean my elbows against my knees as I breathed hard through my nose and out with my mouth. Vaguely, I could hear Ruka call an ambulance, but it didn't register in my mind. The only thing I could think of was that all of our planning had gone to waste, that I was having a hard time breathing, that Tsubasa was trying to calm down his brother and that Mikan was dead.

_"Kaoru's still alive,"_ Ruka's voice trembled with panic. _"He was hit on the head and he's out cold. Mikan…oh God, Mikan…there's so much blood. I don't—"_

The rest was a blur.

I saw the ambulance coming, but it had been so long since the gun was fired. Chances were slim that they came in time. Bitterly, I couldn't help but laugh at the disgusting workings of society where we lived in communities where pizza was delivered in ten minutes and ambulances arrived in half an hour.

So much for an emergency.

I startled when my phone rang.

It was Ruka.

_"She's still alive,"_ Ruka panted from the other end of the phone. _"There was so much blood, Hotaru. From her head. She was bleeding so much from her head. I tried to put pressure on the wound but she was shot in the head. What are we going to do? There was so much blood, Hotaru, so much blood. I called the ambulance. They_'_re with her right now, trying to stop the blood…"_

"You did the right thing," my voice trembled. "Ride with her to the hospital and call me as soon as you know where they're taking her. I'll come to you as soon as I can."

His breathing was ragged when he responded.

Before he could hang up the phone, I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled. "You'll have to take the microphones off of Kaoru before the hospital confiscates them. Can you do that? Or is it too late?"

There was a rustle and muffled shouts from the background. I wondered if it was too late, on more than one front. _"I can still do it,"_ Ruka responded quietly, causing me to breathe out unsteadily. _"Come to the hospital, please. As soon as possible. Please."_

I swallowed, despite my dry throat. "I will."

_"Thank you."_

He hung up quickly and I was left looking at the phone like it would hold all of life's answers. Thoughts plagued my mind, never-ending, unrelenting. I couldn't shake off the feeling that threatened to tear me open from the inside out.

When I looked up, it was to see Natsume's wild eyes looking into mine. His skin was as white as snow and he looked half-crazed with his fists clenched tightly and his jaw equally gritted. He asked me about Mikan and muttered that he didn't believe she was dead. _Because she couldn_'_t be. Polka Dots? Impossible._

I tried to speak, but my mouth was so dry, I couldn't get the words out. I closed my eyes and finally forced them out: "She was shot in the back of the head."

* * *

_One more chapter. _


	30. The Break Up

**Disclaimer: **All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi. The plot is mine.

**Author's Note: **This is an outtake from Natsume's POV before the epilogue… but _on_ the epilogue. Oh, you'll understand when you read it, haha. I've had this chapter half done since the epilogue (chapter 26) it seems and it was probably the easiest chapter to finish ever. Happy reading everyone (:

**Dedication: **To each and every **_TBATB _**reader because its success is, in large part, due to your continued support. Thank you always and Happy New Years!

* * *

_Someway, baby, it's part of me, apart from me.  
You're laying waste to Halloween.  
You fucked it friend, it's on it's head, it struck the street.  
You're in Milwaukee, off your feet._

_…and at once I knew, I was not magnificent._  
_Strayed above the highway aisle_  
_(jagged vacance, thick with ice)_  
_I could see for miles, miles, miles._

_"Holocene" - **Bon Iver****  
**_

**Chapter 25.999: The Break Up**

-;-

"… there are a couple of important aspects you have to pay attention to while the meeting progresses. You want to make certain you are listening carefully to your clients, whether it be the standard way or even visually. Any shift in their tones, any nuances in their words and any discrepancies in their body language can tip you off. Good businessmen can read the emotions in the atmosphere and use them to their advantage. If the client has a lot of influence and could be detrimental to Hyuuga Corp., then it is imperative to try to cut a deal that will please the clients, but also not hurt us in the long run. We want to be making as much profit as possible without jeopardizing any of our stockholders and employees. Hyuuga Corp. prides itself on being one of the best employers in Asia and it's in our best interests to keep it as such."

"What Saeki left out is the importance to set the tone of the meeting at the get-go. No client wants to invest or be part of a company that doesn't seem promising and the key to a promising company is a promising CEO. You need to be firm, confident and knowledgeable. Though many like to flatter and cater to their clients, Hyuuga Corp. has always embodied the _business _side of being business partners. Your father was always able to get into the heart of the matter and never tried to deviate away from the topic at hand. He always made it apparent at the very beginning that it wasn't _he _who needed them, but _they _who needed _him. _You should briefly go over the topics central to the meeting before pitching your ideas first. Once you've pitched your deal, they will voice some concerns or compromises they would like to see. At this point in time, you take a second to draw your conclusions from all of the concerns and requests your potential clients have voiced and seek a beneficial outcome for all parties—"

_Bzzz!_

I pressed my hand against the phone in my pocket without tearing my eyes away from the four executive members of Hyuuga Corp. Three of them were old friends and partners of father and the other was a senior executive hired by Grandma when she was alive. The more they spoke, the more they tended to speak of him. The more they spoke of him, the more connected I felt with him, despite the fact that he was gone.

Every word and every piece of advice they gave me made images of my father surface at the forefront of my mind.

I wanted to be just like him.

"—are always alternatives to the materials we are using. Hyuuga Corp. has not seen success, however, by looking and buying inferior materials. Though it is perfectly possible to find durable materials at a low price, more often than not, less expensive materials have a causal relationship with how flimsy and weak the end product will be. We need to have the best to be the best if we hope to embody the best there is in Asia—"

_Bzzz!_

I smoothly plucked the phone from my pocket before clicking it off entirely.

It wasn't smooth enough, though, because when I stuffed the small device back into my pocket, four sets of eyes were on me with fond smiles on their faces.

Mr. Youhei looked at his watch before looking back at me with a smile in his eyes. "You know what?" he started kindly, "Let's adjourn for the afternoon. Sometimes we forget you're just a boy fresh out of high school. I'm sure you have a pretty girl to entertain, don't you? And here you are, catering to the whims of four old men."

_A boy fresh out of high school?_

I shook my head. "No, I wasn't being inattentive—"

Mr. Li chuckled warmly before sharing a look with his fellow executives. "Natsume, you needn't worry about proving yourself. We know you to be the attentive, driven and passionate man your father was. Despite the colour, you both have the same eyes. You know where you want to be and you'll push yourself to get there. It's an admirable trait in a child of your age. If my grandson was half as motivated as you—"

"Besides," Mr. Youhei was nudged by Mr. Saeki. "We all know about your special friend. Surely all this time you've spent with us has limited the time you've spent with her. All work and no play makes Natsume a dull boy, no? Women have patience, young man, but if there is one thing I know about women, it's that they don't have very much of it."

"Why, Hiro, I think that's the best advice we've given him all day."

They all shared a laugh, but I couldn't help the frisson of pain at the back of my head. I couldn't remember the last time we made time to be together. With her in university and Hyuuga Corp. just within my reach, there just wasn't any time for us. When was the last time we talked? When—

"It was good seeing you, men," Mr. Li stood up and took the jacket perched carefully over his chair. He threw it over his shoulders and buttoned up the two buttons before turning to the room in general. "I suppose we'll take this back up bright and early in the morning. Perhaps we'll even start you sitting in on a business meeting, Natsume," he winked.

I stood up with the rest of them, feeling both unprepared. "Thank you for your time," I said lowly, bowing slightly as they gathered their things.

As they spoke on their way out, I grabbed my suit jacket from the back of the chair and rubbed my forehead. They were already starting me in on meetings; I didn't know exactly what to expect. Hypothetical and textbook examples would certainly differ from reality and the margin for error was limitless.

"Natsume?"

I blinked up to see that Mr. Youhei was standing at the entrance of the conference room with a wrinkly, kind smile on his face that reminded me of old Mr. Miya, Mikan's father's friend from Nagoya. He waited patiently as I strode over and clapped a hand on my back as we walked into the hallway leading to the lobby of the 24th floor. "You look like you've got a lot on your mind, son. Care to enlighten an old man?"

I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. "You're not that old."

And he wasn't. He looked to be in his very late forties or early fifties.

"Flattery will only win you points with the ladies," he chuckled a hiccupping laugh. "Now tell me your sins. There's no use being burdened by useless thoughts when you're young."

I shrugged, not knowing what to say. "I'm fine, Mr. Youhei."

"You're worried about tomorrow, aren't you? I knew Li shouldn't have told you about the meeting." I didn't respond, so he continued unhurriedly as we bypassed a group of employees to get to the elevators. "Listen, son, you don't need to worry about anything tomorrow. All you'll be doing is seeing how a typical Hyuuga Corp. employee deals with our clients just to see how to go about it. It's very basic and you won't be doing any talking yourself. It is routine for executive members to pick employees at random to supervise once in a while and tomorrow will be one of those days. Once you've seen and heard how a typical meeting goes, you can ask any questions you may have to either the employee or us and we'll be happy to answer your questions."

I took a moment to soak in his words before I repeated myself. "I wasn't nervous about the meeting."

He smiled indulgently and I could feel a ball of heat spread across my spine. "Then what are you thinking about, Natsume? If it's about Hyuuga Corp., I can ease your worries. You're a natural learner. You soak up information with the ease of a sponge. You'll do well here when you stop doubting yourself." After a moment's pause when the elevator doors opened, he laughed. "Tell me if I'm wrong. I'd hate to be telling you things you care nothing about. I'm going out on a limb trying to guess the thoughts floating around that young mind of yours."

I smirked and told him I appreciated his words before we reached the front doors of the company.

"Listen, if you've got any questions or worries, feel free to ring me, won't you?" he asked kindly. "It's either I talk to you or my wife. If I'm being honest, I would much rather be talking to you—"

I smirked at that before the man waved a hand in the air and left through the swinging doors.

It wasn't until I was at my apartment across town waiting for takeout to arrive that I remembered the phone I turned off at the meeting. It had been going off all day and it wasn't until then that I actually had time to check, or remembered to. The phone took a second to boot up before the screen turned on in time to show I had more than a dozen text messages, four missed calls and a voicemail.

I checked the voicemail first.

"_Natsume, it's me. Wait, you probably don't even recognize my voice__…_ Look, it's Mikan. I know you're busy. You're always busy, but… I need an hour of your time within the next few days. We need to talk and I think this should happen in person. I hope you're doing well. Get back to me soon. Bye."

The text messages that followed were a blur.

I could only see the words, _we need to talk,_ imprinted on my eyelids.

-;-

I never believed I was a masochist until I started playing the voicemail over and over whenever I had free time. Between meetings and conferences, waiting for dinner or for an appointment, the phone was by my ear with her voice, almost detached, asking me to meet her to talk. I heard enough about the meaning of those four words to know I was screwed.

She wanted to break up.

Logically, it wasn't the only conclusion but it certainly was the one at the forefront of my mind. We hadn't spoken in weeks, really spoken, and I couldn't conjure up an acceptable picture of her in my mind. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her in the flesh. I could remember her eyes, the colour of her skin and the faint sound of her laughter, but the parts were hazy and the whole was indistinguishable. I wasn't nearly old enough to be losing my memory. What did that mean?

In comparison to the first year we were together, my thoughts were dominated by work more than they had ever been dominated by her. Considering I used to think about her a lot, that must mean something.

Half of me thought breaking up was for the best.

When I said this to Ruka, he looked at me like I had two heads. "I really can't tell if you're being serious. Hell, Natsume, that's not even funny! You'll go crazy just at the thought of her being with anybody else but you. Don't even pretend you won't. You wouldn't be able to make it out alive without her."

Ruka was an asshole.

"Do I look like the type to joke?" I unbuttoned my suit jacket and draped it over the kitchen chair before I settled on the seat across from him. "I have work and she has university. We're too busy to have a phone call twice a week. It was a matter of time." I picked up my glass of water and drank slowly before setting it back down. Judging by Ruka's frown, he wasn't pleased. I felt like I needed to explain. "I forget about her while I'm working. It won't be so bad." I could feel something hard in my throat. "Maybe we grew apart."

"Talking about _maybes_ doesn't mean you're talking about certainties," Ruka pointed out, leaning back against the couch. "I just don't want you to do something you'll regret."

The way he said it made me defensive. "You think I'm going to regret this."

He looked at me, scrutinizing for a moment, before he shrugged. "Honestly? Yeah."

Half of me thought he was saying this because Imai and Polka were close and he didn't know how to handle situations like this. The other half thought he was an asshole.

"She's the one that wants to break up with me," I pointed out bitterly, clenching my right hand so hard my knuckles cracked. "If she thinks we should break up, then this obviously isn't working for her. We both deserve better than uncertainties."

His stare was more curious than frustrated. "Who are you and what did you do with Natsume Hyuuga? Because that actually sounded smart. Natsume Hyuuga and relationship knowledge does not compute." I flipped him the bird and watched as he laughed. It didn't last. "But seriously," his chuckles were winding down, "—you think you're going to be okay not having her?"

I didn't know.

I could hardly remember a time before her. We'd been together for three and a half years and I'd known her for four. It was strange to think that a fifth of my life was spent with her.

Would I be okay without her?

There was no real answer to that question.

Since knowing Mikan, we were never truly apart in the figurative sense of the word. Despite that first summer abroad, classes and campus made seeing her everyday easy. Summers were spent watching movies, cloud-gazing and talking about whatever she could come up with. She went to family dinners with me at least once every three months and her mother appeared fond of me. When I thought about it now—about our heated arguments about stupid things like toothpaste and _what that cloud looked like_ and my tendency to leave in the middle of anything too _nice—_it was a wonder Polka put up with me for so long.

I tipped my head back against the couch. "It won't be so hard."

"Are you trying to convince me?" Ruka's voice was part amused. "You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."

I didn't know.

Maybe I was.

I was being honest; I did forget about her while I was at work. It consumed me, took all of my energy and left me feeling accomplished, empowered and one step closer to having everything I've ever wanted. Considering the amount of time I thought of work, I forgot about Mikan a lot. Considering how much I planned to work in the future, perhaps it was better to do this now rather than wait.

I could do without Mikan Sakura, I decided.

I survived sixteen years without her and I could survive the next few decades without her. We were young. It would be foolish to think about serious commitments when we were only twenty years old. There was time for other things. There were places I wanted to go and experiences I wanted to have. There were six and half billion people in the world, approximately half of which who were girls. There were other girls.

I could do without Mikan Sakura.

I could.

"I'm not trying to convince anyone," I said decidedly, unclenching my hands. "I'll be fine without her."

Ruka didn't even try to keep the dubious edge out of his voice. "If you say so. Just… keep in mind you don't actually have to break up. Just talk to her about it. You both have a weird way of communicating to each other, always beating around the bush and not saying what you really want."

"Half the time, girls don't even know what the fuck they want," I pointed out dryly. "You'd better not hold your breath. I don't talk about my feelings."

Ruka rolled his eyes. "I figured you were going to say something like that." He sat up and folded his hands together across his bent knees as if he was ready for a serious conversation. "You're both stubborn as hell, but just… sometimes swallowing your pride is the best choice. You can't expect Mikan to keep holding on to you when she's never certain about where she stands."

"Is that what she told you?" I hated the thought that she could talk to everyone but me. The dark feeling in my chest expanded. "That I don't flaunt and spoil her enough?"

Ruka frowned immediately, sitting back with surprise. "What? No! Do you even hear what you're saying? That doesn't sound anything like Mikan. What is wrong with you?" I was glaring hard at the spot over his shoulder, but Ruka wasn't daunted. "I don't know what's really going on in your head, Natsume, but don't talk about Mikan like that. You're only going to feel bad about it later and the last thing anybody wants is for you to start feeling it. You tend to get… destructive."

I could feel the irritation itching through my veins and fought the urge to flip Ruka the bird once again. "If Polka Dots didn't say it, then obviously you've thought about it. You don't think I treat her right?"

"I think you have your own special way of treating her," Ruka said carefully. "It's not exactly conventional. You argue with her every chance you get and you're not exactly forthcoming in the way you use your words. Obviously I don't know what you're like when you're together alone, but you're not exactly the romantic type. You said it yourself; you don't talk about your feelings. Mikan's a girl. Secretly, I think she's weak for stuff like that." He paused before shaking his head and standing up. "Forget what I said. I don't know what I'm talking about. You've been together for three years. Obviously something's working for you."

I grunted with new thoughts hammering inside my mind.

Ruka pulled his coat off the coat rack but didn't put it on. "I have no right to give advice since I think everybody's different, but Natsume, as your best friend, I'm telling you this: don't do something unless it's really what you want. There's no use regretting anything, right?"

I sat tapping my fingers against the armrest in thought long after he was gone.

-;-

I was ready to take whatever Polka could give me.

It was a decision I was certain about the night before and, as I walked toward the park where we used to walk on late school nights, I was certain I could stand by it. I'd thought about it long enough to know that there was no point thinking about circumstances that might not come to pass. If she wanted to break up, I could be fine with it. If she wanted to talk, I could listen. If she just wanted to reminisce or go grab coffee, I could have time for that too. I'd taken the whole afternoon off, after all.

The confidence, the certainty, in those thoughts didn't prepare me for the sharp blow to my chest when I finally saw her.

In that moment, I wondered how I could have possibly forgotten her, how it was possible she wasn't a dominant fixture in my thoughts every minute of every day. Was I really that much of an idiot to have neglected to make time for her until now?

Suddenly… suddenly, I could feel the ironclad grip on my windpipe.

I froze.

It wasn't cold.

On the contrary, it was smoldering hot. Summer had always been ridiculous but it seemed to get hotter as every year passed. I blamed the humidity for making it that much harder to breathe. Seeing her now, like this, I wondered again how I could have ever forgotten.

Every step was a resonating march to the gallows.

When I was close, she stood up slowly with a small, hesitant smile on her lips.

It didn't look right. Not on her.

Her skin was still pale except for the orange glow to the apples of her cheeks due to the sun and heat. She was beautiful, in her own way. I felt a sharp pain of guilt for ever forgetting it. How could I have forgotten? Long eyelashes and the gentle slope of her nose. Pale pink lips, slightly dry, and the usual plait of brown hair hanging down the curve of her shoulder. I didn't know why she liked ponytails and plaiting so much, but whenever her hair was like this, I wanted to pull the elastic from it and let the strands free, to feel the softness by running my fingers through her hair.

I released a ragged breath before clenching my fists from inside my pockets.

"Thanks for meeting me, Natsume."

There was no _hello_ or toothy smile. No dorky laugh or teasing remark. When had it come to this point where she _thanked _me for seeing her? Were we really strangers now? It had never been like this, not even in the beginning. Why was it so suffocating?

I closed my eyes in a slow blink. "It's fine." _But it's not. Why would you thank me?_

She moved to sit down on the park bench once more and after a moment, I followed suit. Why she wanted to do this here while it was blazing hot was a wonder. Why she wanted to do this in our park was another fact I couldn't understand. More and more, I wished she would start ranting about random facts from those books she was so fond of.

The silence was oppressive.

"You look well," she said finally, forcing the words out like they were stuck in her throat. "That's good. I thought you'd have dark circles under your eyes from working all of the time _at least._" Her chuckle was bittersweet. Her next words were barely a whisper. "It figures that you're still perfect."

I didn't know what to say. This small talk was making me anxious.

"You're done for the semester."

It wasn't a question but she nodded anyway. "I'm on summer break now for the next few months. I'm going to work with mom's editor this summer. As an assistant, you know? I don't think I got to tell you about it."

I closed my eyes and grunted. _No, you didn't tell me anything about it. _

The heat was getting to me. I could feel a drop slide between my shoulder blades and the rise in my annoyance. If she had something to say, she could just say it. There was no use extending the torture. When had I even associated torture with talking to Polka Dots anyway?

Fuck, we really were going downhill.

She was talking about something else, her voice low and airy, talking about nothing at all. I couldn't take it anymore and turned sharply to look at her on the bench. Her shirt was loose and her shorts were tiny, appropriate for the weather but anything but for this conversation.

I couldn't help the annoyance that attached to my every word. "What are we really doing here, Polka Dots?"

Once the words were out of my mouth, the pounding in my chest started, increasing in its pace.

She looked over in annoyance and I was immediately struck with a bit of relief. "You're as rude as ever," she remarked with an edge to her voice. "Fine. I should have known I was another appointment in your busy schedule," her voice was bitter. "How much time do I have? I'll keep my words short and concise for you then."

_What? _

I blinked when it dawned on me. "You're not an appointment." My voice was firm. "I took the entire afternoon off." _For you._

A frown twisted her lips. "Then why are you always in such a hurry? We never see each other anymore, Natsume. It's nice that you took the entire afternoon off for this, but you shouldn't sound so defensive or _proud _about it. You're saying it like you did me a huge favour." She exhaled sharply before her eyes glared over my shoulder. "Don't you think it's a little sad that your girlfriend had to call to ask you to make time after not seeing you for three weeks? You might think I'm overreacting, but when we live in the same city, barely a ten minute drive from each other, it's completely ridiculous."

When she said it like that…

I exhaled slowly. "I've been busy with work."

"I know," she said softly. "Trust me, I know. It's not like I'm not busy with school either. I like that you're happy working, but how is this really going to work, Natsume? I don't want to give you ultimatums. I'm not going to ask you to choose me over everything else because I don't want to be like those girls… you know those girls… but Natsume, can't you see?" She sounded so helpless. "It's just not fair."

"What do you want me to do?" The words came out irritated and strained. Ruka's voice resonated in my mind and I immediately put them to use. "What do you want?"

Her eyes clashed with mine, and for a moment, time stood still as I held my breath. Before long, she looked away. "I want…" She breathed out slowly and clenched her fists in her lap. "I want to be able to hang out again… talk again." She lowered her eyes and her lips looked soft. "Haven't you noticed at all, Natsume? We haven't talked in forever."

"I've noticed," I said honestly.

Brown eyes flashed to mine once more. "If you noticed, why haven't you done anything about it? It's always me. I'm always the one calling you to find that you won't pick up. I'm always the one sending you fifteen texts a day to which you don't bother responding. It's just… it's really cold, Natsume. What am I supposed to think? And when you do call me back at the end of the day, we barely say two words to each other. Things are just… different now. I don't like it."

_I don't like it either._

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't string two coherent sentences together.

It was frustrating, this anxious anticipation building up in my chest. I was hyper aware of the impact of her words, of the way she was sitting, dejected in her little summer shorts, and yet, the only thought repeating itself in my head was that I didn't want to let her go. It was selfish and honest and unfair. I had no words for her.

"What do you want?" she said quietly, staring out into the distance. "Be honest."

But I couldn't breathe, could hardly even think.

A moment, a long moment, passed before she shifted her eyes back to me. The eye contact made me freeze. "What do you want, Natsume?" she repeated, but her voice was soft and resigned and I could see the defeat in her shoulders.

I hated disappointing her.

I swallowed past the dry spell in my throat. "Time." It wasn't the word I wanted, but it was reasonable and apt. It was true. I did want time.

I thought it was a suitable response.

"Time," she repeated and despite the quiet in her voice, it sounded undesirable. She fiddled with the edges of her shorts for a moment before her eyes were back on mine. They were full of resolve. "We should break up, Natsume." The comment was as casual as a remark on the weather. "It will give you plenty of time to do whatever you want."

"That's not what I meant."

"What else would you suggest?" She bolted to her feet. Her voice was hard and unrelenting. "You're always working and I have school and now work. No matter how hard I try, we barely talk anymore. We must've changed a lot over the last few months because I can hardly recognize us anymore. We're like strangers," she spat the word, saying the words I couldn't say. "It used to be so easy with us but it's all changed. Are we even the same people anymore? I don't know because I don't know who I am when I'm not with you and I haven't seen you for weeks. I don't see how it's going to work unless—"

She broke off and clenched her fists by her sides. She closed her eyes tight. "Tell me how it's going to be any different if we're together after this. Give me one reason. I just need one."

I was speechless, bitter.

She had already given up. It was apparent in every line of her body, in the way she refused to open her eyes and look at me. How could she give up so easily? Hadn't we always fought to make it work? Through that first summer, through her hospitalization, through it all. She was giving up.

"You can't tell me you're going to be working any less," she said, calmer. "You can't tell me it'll be like it used to be. We're growing up, Natsume. Maybe our stories are meant to be different from this point on."

"You believe that," I asked tonelessly, watching as her eyes slowly pried open to show complete resignation.

She shrugged before her arms crossed over her chest. "I believe… I don't know what I believe. I just know that I'm unhappy with the way things are now. Can you say you're happy?" Her eyes bore into mine. "You've been so distant. It's like your name is here, familiar and right beside me, but you're nowhere to be found. Even now, here, you're right here in front of me and I can barely recognize what we once were."

I listened to every word, but I could only focus on the way my hands were trembling in my pockets. She wasn't saying anything I hadn't already thought of, but hearing the words coming out from her lips, from that soft, disappointed voice, made the severity of the situation strike me hard in the gut. Had I really disappointed her to this point? Had I neglected her so much that she believed it impossible for us to stay together?

I couldn't look at her.

The soft crunch of her footsteps was dull in the back of my mind.

Warm hands and soft fingers brushed my cheek and neck and I opened my eyes long enough to see sorrowful brown eyes close. Her lips were soft, softer than they looked. Fingers brushed against my jaw like feathers.

I could feel her eyelashes on my cheeks.

In a flash, I could feel the panic rise inside me.

I must have been rough, but I needed her close. My lips were urgent; my hands held her to me. Couldn't she feel this? _Why? Why do you want to end us? _And I didn't know why, didn't know anything in this one moment except that I needed her beyond comprehension. Why? There were no words. To anybody else, she was nothing special. She wasn't smart and she wasn't beautiful. She wasn't ambitious in the way society applauded and she wasn't… she wasn't perfect by any means. Then why? What was so special about her that made it obvious I didn't want to look twice at another woman?

Whereas my touches were hard, she remained soft.

Fingers held my jaw as a hand held the back of my neck, lips were patient and it made my panic rise even more.

Why did it feel like she was indulging me?

Hands were on my chest, one directly over my heart. She was trying to break away and I tried to kiss her into submission. Did she know? That the hand she had over my heart was making it incredibly hard to breathe?

She moved away and looked at me, brown eyes dark.

She loved me. I could still feel it… could see it in her eyes. Then why?

Her lips were red.

She was kneeling down in front of me, hands still on my jaw, before she leaned up once more and kissed me softly—_soft, soft, soft—_on the lips. A kiss goodbye. The bittersweet taste in my mouth was all Mikan.

And then she was gone, disappearing past the trees.

I could still feel her in my hands, feel the crescendo in my chest thrumming manically, and couldn't help but think Ruka was right.

The asshole.

I regretted every moment I let myself forget.

I could do without Mikan Sakura.

I survived sixteen years without her and I could survive the next few decades without her.

But I didn't want to survive… to just get by.

I wanted to live.

How could I let myself forget?

Without Mikan, I was lifeless.

**…and the rest is still unwritten…**

* * *

_I hope you like this as much as I enjoyed writing it because finally, __finally_ I am officially, one hundred per cent finished with **_The Bookworm and the Beast_**. Thank you so much for supporting me and this story for the past few years but I can assure you now with absolute certainty that there will be no more outtakes or chapters to this story so you won't have to wonder when the next update is. (: 

_I've had a great time on GAFFN and I thank you all very much for welcoming, encouraging, and helping me through my journey here. I will never forget my experience here and I have you guys to thank for it. Thank you for the reviews, author and story alerts and favourites and everything else you've given me. I really do appreciate it more than you know. For one last time, __how __**about**__ a __**review**__ for __**old**__ time's__** sake**__? Haha. _:D

_My Hopeless Romantic_

Completed: December 31, 2011


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